Never Give Up
by melody's muse
Summary: After his encounter with the Mohra demon, Angel decided to stay human, and Buffy and Angel enjoy a blissful reunion. But when unavoidable forces tear Buffy and Angel apart, can they find their way back to each other again? COMPLETE!
1. A Bright Spot in a Dark World

**DISCLAIMER: The characters of BtVS and AtS are not mine, nor do I take any credit for them. This story is strictly for my own amusement. I do not own BtVS or AtS!**

* * *

Hey everyone! I'M BACK! (or to new readers…hello!) I don't know about you all, but I'm just dying to get back to posting fanfic again! I miss this site!

So I was going to wait until I completely finished this story before I started posting it, but I'm too antsy to wait! I want to share now! But I have gotten a good chunk of this story done, so I feel pretty comfortable in posting this as a WIP. I do hope you will all enjoy it.

The reason I enjoy fanfic so much is that I get to correct what went wrong on the show. And one of those things (in my opinion) was Angel's decision to turn back time and return back to a vampire following the events of IWRY. This story aims to correct that.

Most of the story will be completely AU from IWRY and onward, though there will be some instances where I follow canon, but it will be with my own twist. Things may not happen exactly like on the show, or at different times.

And now, enough of me rambling on, because you don't want to hear me ramble on, right? Enjoy!

* * *

 **PROLOGUE**

-APRIL 28, 2000-

" _Buffy?"_

 _Doyle's voice sounded distant as the car door opened. I knew he was talking to me, but I couldn't bring myself to respond to him._

" _Buffy, did you hear me?"_

" _Buffy, let's go inside, okay?" Cordelia was speaking now._

 _I heard them, but I couldn't move. Couldn't speak. Couldn't think, at least not about anything other than Angel. I kept picturing Angel's face as the portal swallowed him whole. I kept hearing the sounds of my screams, a sound so foreign that I hadn't been entirely sure it was coming from me._

 _And now, I couldn't speak at all, my voice too hoarse._

" _Okay, this is bad. Doyle, can't you like, carry her or something? She can't sit out here all night in the car."_

" _She's in shock, Cordy."_

" _I know, but she still can't sit out here all night."_

 _I felt Doyle wrap an arm around me, which snapped me somewhat out of my trance. I got out of the car, allowing him to lead me up the steps._

 _Inside the office, I sat down on the couch, and Doyle sat beside me._

" _It's going to be alright, Buffy," Doyle said in his soft, Irish lilt. "We'll get Angel back."_

" _I'm calling Willow," Cordelia announced._

" _You want a little whiskey or something?" Doyle offered. "Might help calm your nerves."_

 _But I didn't want whiskey. I just wanted Angel._

 _Sometime later, I woke up in Angel's bedroom. I didn't know how I got there. I couldn't remember coming downstairs at all. I just wanted to go back to sleep. Sleep was a welcome relief from being awake. When I was awake, I'd replay the scene over and over in my mind. Angel reaching for me. Me screaming. The portal closing and Angel vanishing._

 _But sleep was elusive. Each and every time I'd drift off, I'd wake up again, realizing seconds later that nothing had changed. Angel was still gone._

" _How long has she been like this?"_

 _Willow? When did Willow get here?_

" _She's been sleeping on and off for a couple of hours," I heard Doyle say._

" _And when she's awake, she's not all that responsive," said Cordelia._

 _I heard footsteps, then Willow sat on the bed. "Buffy? Hey, it's Willow."_

 _I turned around, facing Willow, and looked up at her with what I'm sure must have been puffy, bloodshot eyes._

" _Hey. Cordelia called me. I came as soon as I could."_

 _I sat up, rubbing the tears from my eyes. "Angel's gone, Will."_

 _Willow threw her arms around me, rocking me as I cried on her shoulder. "I know, but don't worry. We'll figure out a way to bring him back. Everything will be alright. But for now, let me take you home, okay?"_

* * *

 **CHAPTER 1 – A BRIGHT SPOT IN A DARK WORLD**

-FOUR MONTHS LATER-

Life is unpredictable.

One day, I was a normal teenage girl. The next, I was a girl with a destiny.

One day, I was in love. Another day, I was heartbroken.

And one day, a miracle happened. A miracle so wonderful that it almost felt like a dream, that it couldn't actually be happening. But it was.

Five months later, it was taken away from me. Just like that. Like a light going out.

Just gone.

The days are hard. The nights are harder. I think about Angel all the time, but especially at night when I'm trying to fall asleep.

I think about how warm his skin would feel against mine. I was always used to it feeling cool before, but the warmness was a welcome change.

I remember how I'd place my hand on his chest and feel his heartbeat, and how that beating heart would lull me to sleep sometimes. A constant reminder of how he was alive, he was _human._

When I close my eyes, I can see his face in the sunlight. I can see him squinting his eyes, and smiling at the simple joy of just being able to stand in the sun.

I think about how we'd crash after a long night of patrolling, then wake up the next morning in a tangle of limbs and sheets, making love until Angel finally convinced me to go to class.

The nights are the hardest. I can't stop thinking about Angel.

I can't stop missing him.

Awake still, I get out of bed and walk down the dark hallway to the bathroom, because I have to go pee… _again._

It's funny how one small decision can change your life completely. Not that I'm complaining about it though.

I finish up in the bathroom, then head back to my room, hoping I didn't wake up Mom. I'm awake though, and there's no sleep to be had for me tonight. But I close my eyes anyway and place my hand on the tiny belly bump that has just started to form.

I never even got the chance to tell Angel I was pregnant.

* * *

It was my mom who first realized it, even before I did.

I can still remember the look on her face when she caught me in the bathroom. I was hugging the toilet for the third time that week.

"Oh my god," she had said, standing in the doorway, her hand over her chest. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

" _What?_ Mom, no." I stood up, wiped my mouth with a tissue, and flushed the toilet. "I just feel sick. Probably just a stomach bug." I walked to the sink to rinse out my mouth.

"You've been feeling sick all week."

I looked at my pale reflection in the mirror. Behind me, Mom continued to stand in the doorway, her gaze fixed on me. "I just need to eat something, that's all."

"When was your last period?"

"I—I don't know."

"You don't know? Have you not been keeping track of it?"

I turned around to face her. "No, Mom! I haven't been keeping track of it! I've had a few other things on my mind lately!"

"Just give me an idea, Buffy. I don't need an exact date. Are we talking a couple months here?"

I shrugged. "I don't remember. It was…a while ago."

"Was it before Angel left?"

I nodded. Just the mention of his name made tears well in my eyes. I moved back to the toilet and sat down on the seat.

"I can't believe I didn't realize this sooner. You've been sick almost every morning, you sleep all the time…"

"Mom, I'm not pregnant. I'm pretty sure it's just stress."

Mom kneeled down to look me in the eye. "Honey, I know you're still a teenager and you like to think that you're invincible and that these things can't possibly happen to you. But I'm telling you, as great and wonderful as condoms are, they're not always a hundred percent effective."

I didn't make any kind of response to that. I didn't think it was necessary for my mother to know that we hadn't exactly used a condom every time. The conversation was already uncomfortable enough.

Mom touched my cheek and gave me a smile, the way she always used to do whenever I was a child and was feeling under the weather. "Why don't you go back to bed and get some rest? Okay? Eat a few crackers too. That'll help. I'll be back in a little while."

She suddenly stood up and turned around to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to run to the pharmacy to pick you up a pregnancy test." Mom walked out the door.

"Mom, I really don't think I'm…pregnant."

But as I looked at myself in the mirror, I started to wonder if maybe I was.

A half hour later, I was sitting on the toilet seat again, staring at the plus sign on the test. Even though logically, I knew how it happened, it still took a moment for the news to sink in.

 _Oh my god._

I'm pregnant.

 _I'm pregnant._

 _I'm pregnant with Angel's baby._

It just didn't seem possible for there to be a life growing inside me at that moment, a bright spot in a world that had suddenly and without warning become so dark.

 _Angel and I made a baby._

 _Pregnant?_

I almost couldn't believe it, but there it was, the pink positive sign on the test. The irrefutable proof.

I was pregnant.

Mom started rapping on the door. "Buffy? Are you okay in there?"

I didn't answer. I just kept staring at the plus sign.

"Buffy? Did you take the test?"

When I still didn't respond, the door opened and Mom came in anyway.

"Buffy?"

I showed Mom the test. "It's positive. You were right." Suddenly, I burst into tears, and Mom knelt down and embraced me tightly.

"Oh, honey, I know it feels like the end of the world. But it's not, I promise." Mom pulled away and moved a strand of hair out of my face. "When I found out I was pregnant with you, I was absolutely terrified. I didn't know how I was going to do it. But I did. And having you turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. And I think I did a pretty good job." Mom smiled at me, and I sniffled in response.

"Everything's going to be okay. I'm going to help you, alright? It's going to be a huge adjustment, I know, but it'll be okay and we'll get through it."

"That's not why I'm crying," I sobbed, and I felt the tears well in my eyes once more. "I just wish Angel was here with me. This is his baby, too."

"Oh, honey, I know. I know you do." Mom put her arm around me and hugged me again while I cried into her shoulder.

* * *

A/N: Oh wow, look at me writing angsty stuff! I know it's pretty sad, which is definitely new territory for me in writing, but there will be happy moments too! I promise! And just in case anyone is worried, let me just go ahead and reassure you that Angel is okay. In fact, he'll be in the next chapter…

On a related fanfic note, my Buffy/Angel story **Worth Fighting For** has been nominated for a fanfic award! I'm so excited! Voting ends June 22nd so please go vote for my story! You don't have to vote for anything else, just WFF! See my profile for the link!

Okay everyone, until chapter two! :)


	2. Far Away From Home

A/N: So I thought I'd mention that this story will jump around a lot time-wise, which means there are tons of flashbacks. Also, they are my favorite parts of the story. (hint: FLUFF!) I've not put down any dates for when these flashbacks occur, but they occur anywhere from Thanksgiving weekend of November 1999-April 28, 2000.

Now, on to chapter 2…enjoy!

* * *

 **CHAPTER 2 – FAR AWAY FROM HOME**

-August 2000-

The beast is back.

I stand flat against the wall of the cave and stay completely still as the thundering footsteps of the great beast echo through the forest. At the cave's entrance, the puddles from last night's rain vibrate, a ripple right through the middle with every thundering footstep.

Outside, I can see the branches on the giant trees snap, and finally, the beast emerges. I hadn't seen his face until now, and my eyes widen in surprise.

 _A dragon?_

And not a friendly looking one either.

 _Where the hell am I?_

The dragon walks past the cave, and for a moment, all is silent.

I breathe a sigh of relief seconds before the dragon pokes his snout into the cave, his face inches from mine, my relief short-lived.

"Nice dragon," I say, more to calm myself than anything else.

The dragon snorts, his nostrils flaring as a puff of smoke exhales.

"You're a fire-breathing dragon I'm going to guess." I gaze up at the dragon and meet his eyes. He's licking his chops and looking at me like I'm his next meal.

The dragon snorts again, and this time, I can feel the heat of his breath on my face.

If I don't get out of here, I'm dead.

I keep my eyes on the dragon as I carefully raise my axe. "Nice dragon. Nice—" I slam the axe down on the dragon's snout and duck underneath its wing as I hightail it out of cave and run through the forest.

Even though I had a head start, he quickly catches up to me, every thundering step getting closer and closer. I have to jump to dodge the flames he throws at me.

The hem of my pants catches on fire, and I sneak a glance behind me, seeing his face a few feet from mine.

"Just a little more!" A burst of adrenaline propels me forward, and finally, I reach the river. I jump into the raging current, quenching the fire, and sink as far down as I can, letting the current take me downstream.

I can't hold my breath anymore, so I bob my head to the surface. The dragon is flying overhead, but he doesn't see me. Sinking down again, I let the current take me a little further. When I come back up to the surface again, the dragon is gone.

I know there's a waterfall somewhere up ahead, and probably jumping into the river was a stupid move, but I'll take my chances against the fall when up against the fire-breathing dragon.

Downstream, a tree limb miraculously appears just overhead. I reach for the limb and grab hold, staying there for a few moments to catch my breath. A quick onceover of the area reveals the dragon is indeed gone for now, and I pull myself out of the water and climb to the bank.

 _I have to get out of here._

* * *

I arrive back at the cave ten minutes later, soaking wet.

I have two options: leave my temporary shelter and find another cave, or stay here for another night.

Not wanting to risk the dragon returning, option A sounds pretty good.

The axe is still on the ground where I left it. I gather the leftover food and glance around the cave to make sure I didn't forget anything. Not that I have many personal effects with me, but there's one thing I can't risk losing. Where is my—?

"Damn it."

Panicked, I feel for the ring box in my left pocket and my wallet in my right, relieved to find both are still there despite the dip in the river. I take out my wallet, squeezing as much water as I can out of the leather, hoping it didn't ruin her picture.

Amazingly, the picture isn't wet. I hold it for a moment as Buffy stares back at me, smiling. The picture is a poor substitute for the real thing, but it's been so long since I've seen her, it'll have to do.

"I'll find my way home. I promise you, Buffy, I'll find my way back home to you."

* * *

Willow gathers some herbs, candles, and a few other items while I sit at the table, engrossed in some fetal development book.

"It's the size of a fist."

"What'd you say, Buffy?"

"A fist. That's about how big my baby is right now. The size of an adult fist."

Willow spreads the items on the table. "What are you reading?"

I show her the cover of the book I checked out from the library.

"Looks interesting."

"Mostly it's just sad."

"Sad? Why would it be sad?"

"Angel should be the one reading this and telling me how big the baby is."

"I'm sorry, Buffy. But hey, if this spell works…"

I smile, despite my sadness, and close the book. Willow has offered me something that I've desperately needed: hope. "Do you have everything you need for the spell?"

"Actually, yeah, I do. Looks like we're all set."

"So how does this spell work?"

"It's complicated to explain, but it's different than the other spells we've tried. I can't guarantee it, of course, but I think it's going to work."

"Really?"

Willow smiles. "I really do."

* * *

I found a new cave a few miles away from my previous campsite. It's smaller, which is the downside, but it's closer to the river, which is a good thing.

By the time I set up camp, it's already nightfall. I make a fire to ward off the chill in the air and have a small dinner of some of the strange, exotic fruits I've collected. Too dark to fish or hunt. And since my food supplies are low, I know in the morning I'll have to take care of that. The fire also seems to keep the mosquitoes at bay, though I can't say the same for the spiders. I'm sporting a welt the size of a pea on my forearm. Maybe by morning the swelling will have gone down.

Outside, the nightly howling starts, which I've since gotten used to, and I'm already feeling tired. I don't even know how long I've been in this godforsaken place. The days and nights run together, each day nearly identical as the one before, making it difficult to gage exactly how much time has passed. But if I had to guess by the length of my beard, I'd say I've been here for a couple of months.

I'm beginning to worry there may not be civilization here at all.

And if that's the case, how will I ever get back to Buffy?

* * *

" _I don't want to go," Buffy whined as she rolled on top of me, placing her lips on my neck._

" _You'll be late."_

 _Buffy lifted her head, a pouty look on her face. "I don't want to go to class. It's Friday. I'd rather play hooky and spend the entire day in bed with you making love over and over and over."_

" _As tempting as that sounds…"_

" _Shh," Buffy whispered, muffling my response with her lips._

 _Gently, I pushed her back, knowing if I didn't, we probably actually would spend all day in bed. "Buffy."_

" _Skipping class for one day is not going to ruin me," she insisted._

" _No, you need to go to class. And then you should probably finish that English paper you have due on Monday."_

 _The smile on her face fell. "Fine, way to kill the mood, Angel. You want me to go, I'll go."_

 _Buffy started to get up, but I pulled her back. "Hold on, wait a second. You didn't let me finish."_

 _Buffy sighed, staring at me, the look on her face demanding that I have a good reason for spoiling our otherwise blissful morning._

" _I want you to go to class and finish your work, because I'm going to be very busy today working on the surprise I have planned for you tonight."_

 _This brought a smile back to her face. "A surprise? What surprise? Tell me!"_

" _If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise," I said with a laugh._

 _Buffy looked at me with what I call her "bedroom eyes" and began to trace circles on my chest with her finger, knowing that when she does that, it drives me crazy. "Give me a little hint then."_

" _Let's just say that after I give you this surprise, I have a feeling you and I will be spending this entire weekend in bed, making love over and over and over."_

" _Ooo. That good, huh?"_

" _You'll love it. But I have a lot to do, and you need to get your schoolwork done so that you'll be free this weekend, so you need to get going."_

" _Okay, I'll go."_

 _She gave me a smacking kiss on the lips, and just before she got out of bed, she looked at me with a very serious expression on her face. "Wait, before I go. I have just one more question to ask you."_

" _What's that?"_

" _Have you seen my bra anywhere?"_

* * *

As the fire starts to die down, I feel a draft of cool air, which is welcoming considering the fact that I'm burning up. Strange that it's never been this hot here before. I think that's what woke me up. It doesn't matter though. I'm so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open, and I know I'll fall right back to sleep.

" _Angel?"_

I hear Buffy. Or at least, it sounds like Buffy, but it couldn't be Buffy. Could it?

" _Angel?"_

I hear it again. "Buffy?" I mumble, half-asleep. I must be dreaming.

" _Angel, open your eyes."_

I force my eyes open, and sitting next to me is the most beautiful sight. The dim light of the fire illuminates her golden hair, and she gives me a smile.

"Buffy. You're here."

" _I'm here."_

I raise my hand and touch her cheek. "You found me. I knew you'd come for me."

" _Of course I came for you. I'm here to bring you home."_

"I'm so glad…you're here." I close my eyes, unbearably drowsy. "I'm so tired."

" _Just sleep. When you wake up, you'll be home."_

I close my eyes, smiling at the sweet sound of her voice lulling me to sleep.

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks for reading, and also don't forget to vote for my Buffy/Angel fanfic if you haven't already! See my profile! ;)

Until chapter 3...


	3. So Close, So Far

**CHAPTER 3 – SO CLOSE, SO FAR**

" _It's okay. You're okay now."_

 _Buffy._

Her voice is the sweetest sound.

" _You're alright."_

I feel her put a wet washcloth over my forehead. I want to see her, but my eyelids are too heavy. I want to touch her, but I'm too weak to move. Why do I feel so weak?

After a while, I don't hear her voice at all, and I slip back under.

Hours later, maybe hours, I'm not sure, I feel her at my side again. Her hand rests on my arm, and I want to open my eyes and see her beautiful face. I've missed her so much.

"Buffy?"

But when I finally open my eyes, it's not Buffy.

She has human features, but she's not human. Her long, blue hair curls at the end, and her skin has the same bluish hue.

 _Not Buffy._

"Buffy? Where is she?" I ask the strange woman.

She shakes her head. "She's not here."

"But she _was_ here," I insist. "I remember her. In the cave…"

She shakes her head again and gives me a sympathetic look. "No, I'm sorry. The toxins in your body surely caused you hallucinations. I'm afraid your Buffy was never here."

Her words are like a knife in my heart.

 _Buffy was never here._

"You were bitten by a very poisonous spider," she says as she wipes my forehead with the washcloth again. "It's almost always fatal unless treated in time. You're very fortunate my husband and his hunting group found you when they did. He said you were delirious at that point."

"A spider?" I think back, and vaguely, I do remember a spider.

"Yes. They're very common in our world, and most of our species are quite venomous. Keep your arm covered with that bandage for a while so it doesn't get infected."

I glance at my arm, seeing the gauze over it. I remember now that it had looked pretty bad last night. Had it been just last night? I'm not even sure how long I've been out.

"Are you hungry at all?"

At just the thought of food, my stomach grumbles in protest. "I can't even remember the last time I had something to eat."

"I'll prepare something for you. In the meantime, there's a washroom over there if you'd like to freshen up. I've set out some toiletries for you. Please use anything you'd like." She nods toward the bathroom off to the side of the room. "And there are clean clothes in the closet and dresser. Most of them are my husband's old clothes. I think you and he are about the same size."

She stands up from the chair she'd been sitting in and walks to the door. "I'll be back later with some breakfast for you."

"Wait."

She pauses at the door and turns around, staring at me.

"You never told me your name."

"Althea."

"Thank you, Althea. I'm Angel."

She smiles. "It's very nice to meet you, Angel," Althea says, then walks out the door.

* * *

I heard somewhere that if you're feeling sad, looking at cute animals can do wonders for your mood. Mr. Gordo sits on my belly and keeps smiling at me. I don't feel much happier, so I'm guessing the same doesn't apply to stuffed animals. I'm sure the depressing music I'm listening too right now doesn't help much either.

There's a knock on the door, and I take Mr. Gordo and put him aside. "Come in."

I expect to see Mom but instead, it's Willow.

"Hey, Buffy. Your mom let me in. Whatever she's making for breakfast smells really good by the way."

"Hey, Will." I reach over to the cd player on my nightstand and turn the music down.

Willow sits down on the edge of my bed, giving me a sympathetic look. "I'm so sorry the spell didn't work last night."

"That's okay. We tried. But we can try again, right?"

Willow nods, that same expression of sympathy on her face. "Sure, Buffy, we can try again. Hey, I do have some good news though."

"I could use some news of the good."

"The _Dingoes_ are playing at the Bronze tonight! There was going to be this other band playing but they had to drop out at the last minute, so guess who got the gig! It's sort of their comeback since Oz returned. I mean, they had that other guitarist for a while but he just wasn't working out. So it's perfect timing. You want to come with?"

"I don't know, Will. I was sort of thinking I would just hang here by myself tonight."

"Oh, come on, Buffy, it'll be fun! I mean, it might take your mind off of things at least for a few hours. And Xander and Anya are going. Won't you come too? And plus, you know, Oz needs our support."

I give Willow a smile. "Okay, I'll go."

"Great! It's going to be fun, I promise!"

"What's going to be fun?" Mom asks, standing in the doorway.

"Oz and his band are playing at the Bronze tonight," I tell her.

Mom smiles. "Well that does sounds like fun, Buffy. You should go. By the way, breakfast is ready. Willow, I could set out another plate if you'd like to stay."

"Oh, thank you, but I've already had breakfast. And anyway, I've got to go." Willow stands up and gives me a smile. "I'm going to go watch Oz and the band practice. So I'll see you tonight?"

I nod.

"Great!"

"Goodbye, Willow," Mom says.

"Bye."

Willow leaves, and Mom sits down in the spot Willow vacated. "What's wrong, honey?"

"Besides the obvious? I know I should be happy for Will. I mean, I _am_ happy for Will. It's just that ever since Oz came back to town and they got back together, it's like they've been inseparable. And every time I see them together, I can't help but wish that I could be that happy too. Is my jealousy showing?"

"I'm sure Willow doesn't mean to make you upset."

"Oh, no, I know she wouldn't. But I still can't help how I feel."

"Like a third wheel?"

"More like a fifth wheel. Xander and Anya are all happy together too."

"I'm sorry, honey." Mom puts her arm around me and kisses me on the forehead. "Come downstairs for breakfast before it gets cold, okay? You need to eat something good, especially since you're eating for two."

Mom stands up, and I give her a nod.

"Okay. I'll be down in a few."

Mom smiles and heads out of the room.

I don't have much of an appetite, but I'll stomach down some breakfast for Mom and the baby anyway.

* * *

I feel like I've stepped into a time warp when I enter the bathroom. There's indoor plumbing of course, but the whole room has a slightly 1950s feel to it. It's been a while since I've seen a green tub, along with a sink and commode in the same color. Even the tiles are green. Just a little outdated, but no complaints from me. That green shower is singing to me right now. As soon as I feel the hot, steamy water hit my face, I'm in heaven. Beats taking a bath in the river any day.

When I finally tear myself away from the shower, which was without a doubt, the best shower of my life, I wrap a towel around myself and head to the mirror. It's fogged up from the steam, and I take a towel from the rack and wipe it off.

On the small shelf above the sink, I find all the comforts of home. Toothbrush, toothpaste, comb, razor, shave cream. I go to work on shaving the beard from my face. Buffy would appreciate this. She wasn't one for facial hair and always reminded me when I needed to shave. She didn't like the stubble.

 _Buffy._

I can see her so clearly in the cave by the firelight, holding my hand, smiling at me. But no, she wasn't there. She had never been there.

When my face is finally clean-shaven, I get dressed in the clothes I had selected from the closet and feel almost human again. Althea is just coming into the room when I come out, holding a tray of something that smells delicious.

"You look like you're feeling much better," she says.

"I am. Thank you for your hospitality."

"You're quite welcome. Well, breakfast is served. It's probably similar to the food you have at home. I hope you like it."

"What kind of meat is this?" I ask. It looks familiar.

"That's boris meat."

"What's a boris?"

"It's like a wild pig in your world."

"Oh, so that's what that animal was. Well then I know I'll enjoy it. I knew I'd eat good whenever I caught one of those."

The sounds of children playing drift into the room, and Althea looks to the door. "I must tend to my children and see that they get ready for school on time. I'll let you eat."

"Althea?"

"Yes?"

"I have some questions to ask you later."

She nods. "I imagine you do. Come out whenever you feel ready, or rest some more if you like. I won't be far."

* * *

The food gave me renewed strength after feeling weak for so long. Afterwards, I made my way to the front room to find Althea. I find her in the living room along with a man who has the same blue hair and bluish hue as she does. Her husband I presume.

Althea spots me. "Angel, come meet my husband." She takes my arm and walks me over to him. "Angel, this is Roman. He's the one who found you in the woods."

The man with blue hair extends his hand to me. I shake it.

"You're looking a lot better than when we found you."

"I can't tell you how grateful I am that you did. Thank you for helping me."

The man nods. "You're very welcome, but I can't take all the credit for saving you. My wife is the healer in the family."

"You're a healer?"

Althea nods.

"Please, Angel, sit," Roman says, indicating the couch and chairs in the living room. I take a seat in the chair, and Althea and Roman sit on the couch.

"Where am I?" It's the first question that comes to mind.

"The Forest District," Althea answers.

"Is that the name of your world?"

"Oh. You're in Astoria. I have a question for you now. What were you doing out there in the middle of the forest? It's very dangerous."

I shrug. "It's just where I ended up. I'm not sure how long I've been here exactly. Months I suppose. I came to this world through a portal. I was sucked into it actually. The next thing I knew, I was here. I've been following the river for the longest time trying to find civilization. I was beginning to think that no one else was here. Excluding the dragons of course."

"The forest is quite vast," says Roman. "A trek on foot from one end to the other would most certainly take months, though you didn't have much further to go. You were only about three miles away from our village."

"Which is very fortunate for you," Althea tells me. "They were able to get you here quickly."

"It's a little ironic actually. I've battled a number of things before. Vampires, demons, unusually large dragons. And to think it was a spider no bigger than my thumb that almost brought me down."

Althea stares at me wide-eyed. "Are you saying that you're a warrior?"

"I suppose you could call me that. Back at home, it's always a constant battle of good vs. evil. I just do what I have to do to make sure the good guys win."

Althea laughs, somewhat in a giddy manner. "Roman! He's a warrior!"

Roman has the same expression as Althea on his face. "Is this true?"

"Uh…yeah, I can fight if that's what you're asking. It's pretty much all I did back at home."

Roman laughs as if my being a warrior is some huge relief for him.

I look from Roman to Althea, giving them both a confused look. "Could someone maybe fill me in on what's going on?"

"There's a prophecy," Althea explains. "It says that a warrior from another world would come to our aid in our time of need."

"A…prophecy?"

"Things were once peaceful here in Astoria," Roman begins. "But then the Invaders arrived. They've taken over our world, taken away our rights, and have made us live in fear. Astoria is no longer the peaceful place that it used to be. But now that you're here, you can help us fight!"

"You want me to fight?"

"Yes! It's your destiny!" Althea says.

I stand up and start to pace the room. "No, I already have a destiny, and it's back at home. Listen, I'm sorry, but I can't help you."

"But you have to!" Althea begs. "You're our only hope!"

"Look, I would help you if I could, especially after everything you've done for me, but I can't stay here. I have to go home."

Althea shakes her head. "I'm afraid that's not possible."

"What do you mean?"

"To send you back home would require opening a portal with magic, and I'm afraid we can't help you with that."

"Then find me someone who can! A witch, a warlock, a shaman, someone with the slightest knowledge of magic!"

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid they can't help you either."

"Why not?"

"Because…there is no magic in this world. At least not anymore."


	4. Astoria

**CHAPTER 4 – ASTORIA**

"How can there not be magic in this world? I don't understand."

"Sit back down," Althea says, nodding to the chair. "It's a long story."

I sit down in the chair again, resigned to the fact that I'm not going anywhere for now. And I thought I'd been so close to getting back to Buffy…

"The people of Astoria are very skilled in magic," Althea begins. "Myself included. And we use that power for good. We travel to other worlds, other dimensions, and help those in need. What you call miracles in your world are sometimes the work of our people. But our power is not innate. It's derived from a crystal."

"If you get your power from a crystal then how is it possible for you to use magic in other dimensions?"

"As long as the crystal is activated, any Astorian can use magic anywhere, regardless of what dimension they're in. But the crystal has been deactivated and stolen by the Invaders, rendering us all without our magic. As long as the crystal is deactivated, all magic in this world is blocked. You're not the only one far away from home. Our own people are trapped in worlds not of their own, unable to find a way back here."

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. It's actually a blessing in disguise. We can only hope that wherever they are, it's a far better world than this one has become."

"What does that mean?"

Althea looked to Roman, and he began to speak. "Several months ago, Astoria had some visitors. We thought at first they were friendly visitors, but our kind nature makes us naïve. They were dimension hoppers, and they came here for one reason and one reason only…to take over our world."

"Wait a minute. Your invaders are the dimension hoppers? I know what they are."

"You've seen them?" Roman asks me.

"Yes, the night I arrived here. They had come to my world. Just a few of them, but we stopped them. I got sucked into the portal in which they came through which landed me here."

"They were from our world," Roman says. "Though not originally of course, but they must have been trying to invade your world as well."

"Dimension hoppers never stop invading," Althea says. "They always want more."

"What have they done to your world?" I ask them.

Roman stands ups and nods for me to follow him. "Come with me. It's better if I show you."

* * *

Outside, a horse and carriage awaits by the house and Roman takes me on a tour of his village. The houses are close together and small. It looks like any other neighborhood, except for the cobblestone roads, which take me back to Galway.

A short distance away is the town square, which Roman explains is the center of Astoria.

"Astoria is divided into four districts, and at the heart of Astoria is the Crystal."

He takes us to a large round structure, which at first looks like a fountain, though I see no water once we reach it.

"Is this where the Crystal was?"

Roman nods.

"Must be big."

"Yes, it is. And moving it would have been no easy feat."

"It hasn't been destroyed, has it?"

"We don't think it's been destroyed, because the Invaders think it's extremely valuable. However, what they fail to realize is that the Crystal is hardly the most important thing to us. It's our people that are important to us, and what they've done to us cannot ever be forgiven."

"What else have they done?"

"Let me show you something else."

* * *

We rode for several miles, and I had noticed we were now in another district by the signs along the way. The neighborhood we drove through looked just like Roman's except for one major difference: it looked like a bomb had gone off.

The gray sky matched the mood of this place, and a wind picked up, swaying a child's swing hanging from a branch. The houses, or at least the few that were standing, were all in poor condition. Everything else had been reduced to a pile of ashes.

"What happened here? And where is everyone?"

"They're dead."

"Dead?"

"After the Crystal was stolen, our people had no means of defense against the Invaders. Magic is all we know. But a group here in this district rebelled. They tried to fight, but were quickly outnumbered. As punishment, they slaughtered everyone here. Even the women and the children. Had it not been for the few brave souls who managed to escape, we would have never known what happened here."

"That's horrible."

"They unleashed the dragons here. Killed many of them. And the ones that survived were killed by the Invaders. They rallied them up, and one by one, slit their throats. These people were our cousins, our friends. And just like that, they were gone."

I find myself speechless, unable to think of anything to describe how horrible this must have been for these people.

"It's unimaginable, isn't it?" Roman asks.

"I knew the dimension hoppers were bad news, but I had no idea it was like this."

* * *

We rode back to Roman's district in silence, the gravity of these people's troubles sinking in. Roman had explained earlier that not only had the Invaders killed many innocents, but they had put many more to work in other districts. It was only a matter of time before they came to theirs.

All along the perimeter of the village, a thirty-foot electrified fence separated the woods from civilization.

"What's with the fence?" I ask him.

"To help keep the dragons at bay," he answers.

"What's to keep them from flying over the fence?"

"Nothing, but it makes the villagers feel a little more secure. We used to have a force field to keep them out, and that worked much better. But of course, once we lost our magic, we had to resort to this tactic. We have people who keep guard and alert whenever there is a dragon lurking nearby."

"Well I can't say we have dragons from where I come from, but we certainly have our share of evil."

"Oh, the dragons aren't part of our world. They followed the Invaders from whatever world they last came from. Look here."

Roman stops the horses and points up ahead to the charred remains of a neighborhood. Houses, or what used to be houses, lay scattered on the ground in a heap of blackened wood and ashes. Even the nearby trees are bare and have scorch marks on their branches.

"A dragon attack two months ago destroyed this neighborhood, wiped out every single house. Only three people survived, and they were all badly burned. It happened at night when everyone was sleeping."

"That's terrible."

"The Invaders have taken over our world, have brought evil into a place that was once peaceful. We fear that eventually, they will destroy us. Until then, we cannot give up the fight."

* * *

Willow bobs her head to the sound of the music blasting from the stage. The _Dingoes_ are performing, and Oz looks like he hasn't missed a beat.

"Come on, Xander! We're going to dance!" Anya hops up from her seat, grabs Xander's hand, and literally pulls him onto the dance floor.

Willow stares at the stage with a dreamy look in her eyes. "I can't believe that's my boyfriend on stage! My boyfriend's in the band!" Willow turns to me, suddenly looking concerned. "Oh my god, what if they become famous? I'm going to have to beat off his groupies with a stick!"

"No you won't, Will. Leave them to me. I'll just use my fist."

Willow laughs. "Another benefit to being a friend with the slayer! Are you having fun?"

I shrug. "I don't know. I guess I'm just not in a Bronze kind of mood, no matter how awesome Oz is."

Willow frowns. "Oh no. You're not having fun."

"No, it's not that. It's just this place. There's just—"

The song ends, and before I can finish what I was saying, everyone is applauding and making noise. Willow shoots up from her seat, giving them a standing ovation and yells to Oz on the stage.

"So many memories of Angel," I finish, though Willow doesn't hear me for the crowd.

* * *

 _I was standing near the bar, listening to the band playing on stage and lost in my thoughts when I felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around me. "I thought I'd find you here."_

 _I turned around and threw myself into his arms. "Angel! You're here! I thought you weren't going to be here until Friday!"_

 _A slow smile spread across his face. "Well, what can I say? I missed you. Besides, things in L.A. have slowed down for a while."_

" _Oh I'm so glad you're—" but Angel interrupted me, pressing his lips against mine. "Here," I finished with a laugh._

" _So, anything exciting going on?"_

" _Nothing exciting until you got here."_

" _Have you eaten yet?"_

" _No."_

" _Good, I'm starving."_

 _Angel took my hand and led me to an empty table. A waitress passed by and Angel got her attention. "Could you bring us an order of spicy buffalo wings?"_

" _Sure, anything else?"_

" _Maybe a beer for me and a Coke for her?"_

 _The waitress nodded. "Sure, I'll have that to you in a few minutes."_

 _Across the table, Angel smiled at me and reached for my hand. "I've missed you."_

" _I've missed you too. So, how are things in L.A? Any exciting cases you've worked on lately?"_

" _I stopped some demons causing violence in a karaoke bar. What about you?"_

" _I helped Riley and his guys bag a Polgara demon on the loose."_

 _Angel groaned in response to this._

" _What?"_

" _Nothing."_

" _No, it's not nothing. Every time I mention Riley, you get that look on your face and get all growly." I couldn't help but grin, the thought finally occurring to me. "Oh my god! You're jealous!"_

" _Jealous? No, of course not. I just…I don't know. Something about that Initiative group he's with…I don't know, it just rubs me the wrong way."_

" _You are completely and totally jealous!"_

" _Alright, fine. I'm jealous. Of course I'm jealous. Riley gets to be here in Sunnydale with you all the time while I get to see you only a few days a week. It's just not fair."_

 _I laughed at Angel's little pout. It was cute to see him jealous. "Angel, you don't have to be jealous. Riley and I are just friends."_

" _I know, but he still gets to spend more time with you than I do."_

" _We don't spend that much time together, trust me. Ask Willow if you don't believe me. I spend all week in a funk just waiting for it to finally be the weekend so I can see you again. In fact, I've missed you so much…as soon as we leave here and get back to your place, I think I might just rip off all your clothes and have my way with you."_

 _This brought a grin back to Angel's face. "Oh yeah?"_

" _I'll even let you have your way with me."_

" _Well I think we should definitely eat something so we can have energy for later."_

 _The waitress arrived with our food with impeccable timing, and we immediately dug in._

" _Good huh?" Angel asked, already reaching onto the plate for another one._

 _I nodded and mumbled, my mouth too full to speak._

" _You have a little sauce on your face." Angel reached across the table and wiped the sauce off with his finger. "There. Got it."_

" _Thanks."_

" _Well, well, well, if it isn't the love birds." Spike sat down at table uninvited, then helped himself to a buffalo wing._

" _Sure, take all you want," I said, hoping the sarcasm in my voice was showing._

 _Spike just grinned. "Thanks, pet. Don't mind if I do." He helped himself to another one._

" _What are you doing here, Spike?" Angel asked, sounding slightly annoyed._

" _Oh you know, the usual. Checking out the scene. Checking out the new band. They're bloody awful by the way." He paused, staring at Angel for a moment. "Wait a second. It's the middle of week. Shouldn't you be, I don't know, helping the hopeless or whatever the hell it is that you do?"_

" _Actually I was hoping to spend some time with my girlfriend. Alone."_

" _Fine then." Spike rose from the table. "I thought I'd stop over and say hello, but I can see I'm not welcome. I didn't really want to hang out with you two anyway."_

 _Spike snagged one more wing, then stormed off._

" _Damn it."_

" _Yeah, I guess we really hurt his feelings," Angel said as he watched Spike's retreating form._

" _No, we're going to have to order another plate of these. He ate all of them."_

* * *

After a day of touring more of the destruction in Astoria, Roman and I returned to the house. Night had already begun to fall. In the distance, I could hear the howling wolves from the forest. A sound I had become all too accustomed to.

"Wolf pack," Roman say. "The fence will keep them out."

"I had several encounters with them."

"I imagine so."

"They're larger than the wolves in our world."

Roman brings the horses back to the barn and nods towards the house. "Althea will probably have dinner waiting for us."

Good thing, as I was starving.

Inside, the house had a very homey feel to it. Smells of something delicious wafted from the kitchen. Towards the living room, I hear the voices of children.

"Roman, is that you?" Althea comes out of the kitchen holding a dish towel.

Roman walks over to her and greets her with a kiss. Such a small gesture, but it makes my heart ache for Buffy. I wish I could see her, hold her. What I wouldn't give to be able to kiss her right now.

"Come sit down at the table," Althea tells us. "Dinner is about to start. Angel, you can sit anywhere you like."

I take a seat as Althea calls her children into the dining room.

A girl of about ten or eleven years old with bright pink hair walks in, followed by a boy a few years younger, the spitting image of his father with blue hair and a dimpled chin.

"Where's Serena?" Roman asks.

"She has a little stomach bug. I put her to bed already. I think she'll be just fine in the morning." Althea looks to me and explains. "Serena's our youngest daughter. And this is Myles and Andromeda." She gestures towards the two children. "Children, say hello to Mr. Angel."

"Hello, Mr. Angel," they reply simultaneously.

"Mr. Angel is our guest, children. A very important guest who will be staying with us for a while. I expect you two to treat him respectfully."

"Yes, Mother."

"Good. Now, have a seat and let's eat this food before it becomes cold, shall we?"

The children obey their mother, but I can tell they're both curious about me.

"Are you the warrior?" the boy Myles asks me.

"Yes, I suppose I am."

"Are you going to help save us?" Andromeda asks.

"I'm going to try."

"Children, let our guest eat. The time for questions will be later."

"No, it's okay. I don't mind," I tell her. "I like kids. I once had a little sister. I played with her when she was little."

"'Once'?" Andromeda asks me, picking up on my past tense. "You mean you don't have a little sister anymore?"

"No." I decide not to elaborate on why.

Andromeda frowns. "Oh, I'm so sorry. That must make you sad."

"I miss her, yes."

"Was she pretty?"

"She was beautiful. She had long hair like yours, only the same color as mine."

"I get my pink hair from my grandmother," she explains with a smile.

"Since you're a warrior, have you fought demons before?" Myles asks me.

"Yes, I've fought many in my world."

"Alright, children, enough talking. Finish your dinner before it gets cold. We don't have much so we must eat everything on our plate."

The children grow silent and began to eat their dinner.

"I can't thank you both enough for your hospitality," I tell Roman and Althea. "Especially with having a home-cooked meal for a change."

"Our food is rationed by the Invaders," Althea says. "But we supplement what we don't have by hunting and growing our own food. We're never hungry, but it's taught us to not be wasteful."

"I can help with that. I'm a very skilled hunter."

"You survived in those woods for months," Roman says. "You'd have to be. I'd be glad to have you in our hunting group. Not everyone knows how to hunt, and the more people we have, the more we can feed."

"Some of the food my husband brings back, he gives to other families in need. We all share and look out for each other."

"Mother?" Andromeda says. "Shouldn't there be less talking and more eating?"

Althea smiles. "Yes, of course. Let's enjoy this meal, for we're very blessed to have it."

* * *

I found a vampire shortly after I left the Bronze lurking around Restfield Cemetery. I've spent the last ten minutes or so beating the hell out of it.

"Working out your anger issues, Slayer?" says a familiar voice from behind.

Out of the shadows, Spike emerges, tossing his cigarette to the ground and snuffing it out with his boot.

"What are you doing here?"

"Just taking a stroll. It's a free country, isn't it?"

I turn back to the vampire and punch him in the face again. He's drifting in and out of consciousness, and it's starting not to be as fun anymore.

"Are you going to kill the poor bastard already or are you going to keep using him as a glorified punching bag?"

I reach for the stake in my back pocket and bury it into the vampire's chest, finally putting him out of his misery, then head toward the cemetery's exit to get away from Spike and the lingering smell of cigarette smoke. I still feel Spike's presence behind me though, so I stop and turn around. "Are you following me?"

Spike shrugs his shoulders. "Thought you could use some help."

"Well I don't need any help. I just want to be alone." I turn on my heel and walk away again.

"You know, you really shouldn't be slaying in your delicate condition."

"My 'delicate condition'? What is this? The nineteenth century? The exercise is good for the baby."

It occurs to me as I thread my way through the mass of headstones that I never told Spike I was pregnant. "Wait a second." I stop and turn around again. "Who told you I was pregnant?"

"You did. Although not intentionally." He moves closer to me, leaning forward so that I'm close enough to smell the nicotine and alcohol on his breath. "You forget I'm a vampire. I have excellent hearing, and I'm picking up two heartbeats. And I know the second one isn't coming from me. Plus not to mention the fact that you've gain some obvious weight in the middle. It's a bit more noticeable on you since you didn't weigh that much to begin with."

I ignore Spike and walk away again, but he's persistent in bothering me tonight.

"So Angel's boys can swim, eh? Wonder who he'll favor. Assuming it's a male. My guess is he'll probably look all broody like Peaches."

"Will you just shut up?"

Spike gives me a look. "What's the matter with you, Slayer? Your hormones making you crazy already?"

"You wanna find out?" I ask him, holding up my stake and aiming it toward him.

Spike holds his hands up and backs off. "Alright, alright. Look, there's no reason to get all testy. I just want to help you."

I lower my stake, not really wanting to pick an argument with him right now. And maybe he's right…maybe I shouldn't exactly patrol alone. "Okay, fine. Just don't smoke around me."

We patrol the downtown area for a while, but everything is quiet. Not a bad thing, actually. I'm kind of tired now. I eventually shake Spike off at Willy's, but instead of going straight home, I find myself walking towards Crawford Street. Sometimes I go to the mansion. Being around Angel's things comforts me in a strange way.

Everything is still the same as Angel left it, with the exception of a few additional cobwebs in the corners. I make my way to the back bedroom and sit on the bed, still made. It's a bit drafty in the mansion, so I grab the green blanket folded up neatly at the edge and make myself comfortable.

Angel's pillow used to smell like him, but it's been so long now that his scent has faded away. I lay my head down on it and close my eyes, trying to pretend that Angel isn't so far away.

* * *

 _I feel a presence near me. Opening my eyes, I see that it's Buffy. She smiles at me when she sees that I'm awake, then reaches for my hand._

" _Hi," she whispers._

" _Buffy. God I've missed you."_

 _She touches my cheek, lightly running her fingers across my face. "You finally shaved. I like it. Now I can see your face."_

" _This is a dream, isn't it?"_

 _The smile on Buffy's face falls, and she nods. "Afraid so. But we're together. At least for now."_

" _I want to get back to you so bad. It seemed like I was so close, but now I don't know if I'll ever get back at all."_

" _You will. You can't give up."_

" _No, I won't. I'll never give up on getting back to you."_

" _We've always had our obstacles, Angel. We just seem to have more than your average couple. But we'll get through this. You'll find a way back. I know you will."_

" _There's no magic in this world, no way to open up a portal to home."_

" _So you'll find a way."_

" _The people here, they look at me like I'm their savior or something."_

" _Well you were always mine."_

" _There's a lot of evil in this world, and I'm just one man. I don't know what I could possibly do."_

" _Then start small. Just think of it as another thing in our way. I have faith in you, Angel. I know you'll be able to help these people. There's not a doubt in my mind. And when you do, you'll be able to come home."_

" _Home. That has a nice ring to it."_

I open my eyes, realizing I had dozed off. It's still dark, and the moonlight shines through my window, casting its glow on the bed's empty right side. _Buffy's side_.

I still haven't gotten used to not having her sleep beside me. Sometimes sleep never comes, and I lie awake just missing her, wanting to hold her.

I miss the way her hair would smell when she'd climb into bed after taking a shower.

I miss the way her skin would feel, so soft, almost like a baby's skin.

I miss her laugh. I miss her smile. I miss making love to her. I miss everything about her.

My wallet sits on the table by the bed, and I grab it and take Buffy's photograph out of it. It's too dark for me to see it, and for once, I actually miss my keen eyesight from when I was a vampire. So I turn on the lamp and stare at her, wishing that instead of holding her photograph, I was holding her.

* * *

A/N: I know, so sad! Poor Angel and Buffy missing each other. :( But I do hope that you enjoyed the chapter despite the fact that it was sad.

On another note, thanks to everyone who voted for my other Buffy fanfic in the fanfic awards! I won third place! Apologies for the link snafu on my profile page (which is totally ffnets fault btw). And to the reader(s) out there who nominated me for all of those awards...thanks so much! I feel so honored! :)

Until chapter 5!


	5. The Buffybot

**CHAPTER 5 – THE BUFFYBOT**

"What the _hell_ is that?"

I'm staring at an identical twin version of myself. She walks and talks just like me.

"Hi, I'm Buffy! You look just like me! We're very pretty."

Okay, maybe she doesn't talk _exactly_ like me.

"It's the Buffybot!" Willow announces.

"The Buffy- _what_?"

"The Buffybot," Xander repeats.

"I'm a vampire slayer."

"A…robot?" I ask, confused.

"It was Spike's idea," Willow says. "You remember that robot April a few weeks back? The one that Warren guy made?"

"Yeah…"

"Well Spike got Warren to make one of you too!"

"Okaaaay…why?"

"Well isn't it obvious?" Willow asks. "You won't be able to slay when you're nine months pregnant, and Giles said he was worried what the underworld might think if they didn't see you slaying on a regular basis. So Buffybot to the rescue!"

Behind me, Giles looks just as stunned as I am. He walks over to me…er, the other me, and stares at her. "This is incredible. Looks just like you, Buffy."

"You're Giles," the Buffybot says, mispronouncing his name with a hard "g". "You're my watcher, and you're British, and you clean your glasses a lot."

Giles, who had been reaching for his glasses at that very moment, moves his hand back to his side.

"Turn her off," I say. "This is too weird."

Willow turns to the Buffybot. "Sit down, Buffy."

The Buffybot, with a smile on her face, sits down in the nearby chair. "I like being here in this little magic shop," she says just before Willow turns her off, the smile on her face frozen.

"Okay, that thing is not patrolling for me. For one, it doesn't even talk like me."

"Well, there's a few kinks and bugs to work out I'll admit," Willow says. "But I programmed a few puns in her! I know you like to pun!"

"What about fighting?"

"She can fight."

I shake my head. "I don't know if this is such a good idea."

"Actually, I think this is a great idea," Giles says.

I look to Giles. "Are you serious?"

"As far as temporary measures go, I think this is the best solution we have. The underworld will assume you're fighting on a regular basis. And quite frankly, it would be in your best interest if the underworld didn't know about your child."

"Why? Do you think my baby's in danger?" At just the thought of it, I place my hand on the growing little bump.

"Well, no more danger than the rest of us, but while you're pregnant, you are at somewhat of a higher risk."

"What do you mean?"

"There's been a number of slayers that have become pregnant. You're certainly not the first one. However, only a handful of them survived long enough to give birth."

"So you're saying if I'm pregnant, I'm an easy target?"

"I'm afraid so."

"That's sort of what Spike said," Willow says. "He said he never killed a pregnant slayer before, but that he'd come across a few vampires that had. Something about their slayer blood being even more richer. I guess it gives them a high or something."

I walk over to the Buffybot and stare at her for a moment. She really _does_ look just like me. But the question is…could she _fight_ like me?

"I want to see her in action."

* * *

There's a little blue-haired girl staring at me when I open my eyes. She seems curious, but hesitant of me, unsure of this stranger in her house.

"Hello, there."

The girl doesn't respond, but she continues to stare at me. I estimate her age to be about four or five. She must be the youngest daughter.

I move to sit up. "My name's Angel. What's your name?"

The girl blinks in response and still says nothing.

"Serena, there you are!" Althea comes into the room and places her arm around the child. "I'm sorry she bothered you, Angel."

"No, she's no bother."

"This is Serena, my youngest. She's very curious. Serena, this is Mr. Angel. He will be our special guest for a while."

"Hi, Serena, it's nice to meet you."

Althea kneels down and looks the child in the eye. "Are you feeling better?"

The girl nods.

"Good." Althea kisses her on the forehead. "Go get dressed. You're going to school today."

The little girl stares at me one last time before running out of the room.

"I apologize again. I turned away for just a moment…"

"Really, it's no bother. It's time for me to wake up anyway."

"Alright. Come downstairs whenever you're ready. I should have breakfast ready soon."

Althea exits the room and closes the door behind her. I reach for the wallet on my bed and take out Buffy's picture again, remembering my dream from last night.

 _I have faith in you, Angel. I know you'll be able to help these people. There's not a doubt in my mind. And when you do, you'll be able to come home._

"I'll get back to you, Buffy. I swear to you. I'll help these people, and then I'll find a way home."

 _Home. Back home to Buffy._

* * *

After Althea sees her children off to school, I sit down with her and Roman.

"I did a lot of thinking last night, about your situation, and I want to help you."

A smile spreads across Althea's face. "I'm so very grateful to hear you say that. We both are."

"Just tell us what you need," Roman says. "We'll do anything to help."

"Well, there is actually something you could do for me. Listen, if I'm to help you defeat the Invaders, I can't do it all on my own. I'll need some help. We need to gather a group of able-bodied individuals. People that would be willing to fight. And if they can't fight, I'll train them well enough so they can. Can you do that?"

Roman nods. "I would be glad to help. And my hunting group would be more than willing to help as well, but gathering a group together will be difficult."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because of the Watchmen."

"Watchmen?"

"The Invaders," Althea explains. "Some of them are here in our district, sent specifically to watch our every move. Anything we do must be done in absolute secrecy."

"In the district that was destroyed, the Watchmen caught wind of the rebellion. If our plan is discovered, we're likely to experience the same fate."

"Alright, so we'll train in secrecy. Got any ideas on where we could work?"

"I may have an idea," Althea says with a smile. "Our basement should be adequate space to train a few people. And people come here all the time for treatment. It wouldn't arouse any suspicion at all to have a group of people come to the house, as long as one of them had need to at least."

I look to Roman. "Will that work?"

Roman smiles. "My wife has a good plan. I will talk to my friends today."

* * *

Later that night, we follow Spike and the Buffybot on a patrol.

"Alright, Buffybot, let's see how good are you."

"I patrol with Spike," Buffybot informs me. "He's the only vampire I don't kill. The chip in his brain prevents him from hurting humans. He has been effectively neutered."

I laugh. "I think I'm starting to like Buffybot after all."

Spike turns around and glares at me before turning to Willow. "I thought you were going to make the bot stop saying that, Red!"

"I'm sorry, Spike, but I can't exactly delete what's been programmed about you, otherwise she'll just think of you as any other vampire and kill you."

"Like Buffybot could kill me," Spike scoffs. "She's not even a real slayer. I'm insulted."

"Well you better hope she could kill you," I say to him. "If this robot is supposed to pass as me, she better be good."

"Buffy's right," Giles adds. "If the bot doesn't perform up to par, it won't take long for word to catch on. She needs to be able to hold her own in a fight."

"She does fine," Spike says. "I've taken her on a few patrols already."

"But wouldn't vampires know it's not really a human?" Anya asks. A valid point.

"Yeah, she gives off no human smell," Oz adds.

"Well sure, if the vampires hang around the bot long enough, they'll know it's not human," Spike says. "But then they're killed anyway so it doesn't really matter. Besides, most of them are either too drunk or too delirious with hunger to immediately notice the difference."

"Well, she does at least look like me. Like some weird twin version of me."

"And she puns, too!" Xander adds.

"Shh!" Spike halts our movement and sniffs the air. "There's a couple of vampires up ahead. They're headed this way."

"I should probably get out of sight," I say. "Don't want the vamps to know there are two of me."

With the exception of Spike and the Buffybot, we all crouch behind two large headstones and prepare to watch the show.

Sure enough, two vampires shortly appear. Spike wastes no time in starting the fight, and Buffybot follows his lead. Spike takes vampire number one, and Buffybot takes the second one.

I'm surprised to see that Buffybot is somewhat of a decent fighter, effectively managing to block several of the vampire's advances on her and landing several punches of her own.

Meanwhile, Spike's vampire turns to dust, and we all watch as Buffybot fights the remaining vampire by herself.

The vampire throws a punch at Buffybot's stomach, immediately recoiling his crumpled fist. "What the hell?"

Apparently he's just realized something about the slayer is different.

Buffybot, unfazed by the hit, picks the vampire up and spins him around over her head a few times before throwing him against a headstone.

The vampire, still stunned, lifts his head off the ground seconds before Buffybot grabs the stake in her pocket and buries it into his chest. Buffybot smiles proudly. "That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!"

One by one, we all emerge from our hiding places, the coast finally clear.

"Did I do good?" Buffybot asks, still beaming.

"Well, she's a decent fighter. I'll give her that," I say. "The punning could use some serious work though."

"Yeah, she says that pie plate thing every time she stakes one," Spike says.

"Sorry about that," Willow apologizes. "I've been trying to program her with some more puns but it seems like all I'm getting is word salad."

"I think it's funny!" Buffybot says, smiling brightly.

"Well we can't have her messing up in front of the wrong person," Giles warns. "Or the wrong thing. We need the underworld to believe Buffy is still fighting on a regular basis."

"I'll fix it, Giles. Don't worry. Hey, at least it's better than those knock-knock jokes Xander tried to teach her!"

"Oh, who's there?" Buffybot asks.

"Knock-knock jokes? I don't tell knock-knock jokes!" Xander should really know me better than that.

"See, Xander?" Willow says, looking to Xander. "I told you!"

"'Knock-knock jokes I don't tell knock-knock jokes see Xander I told you' who?"

* * *

"So you really like the Buffybot?" Willow asks me as she follows me into the house.

"Yeah, I'm warming up to her I guess. And since I can't patrol, I guess it's going to have to be Buffybot to the rescue!"

"Buffybot? What's that?" Mom asks.

I turn around to see her walking out of the kitchen.

"It's a robot that's going to fight for me so I don't have to. I can't really fight vamps when I'm preggers."

"Oh. Well I think that's a wonderful idea! Maybe it could even fight for you after the baby!"

Mom will never give up the idea of me giving up slaying.

"We'll see," I tell her, though she has to know this is only temporary.

"Well, I'm off to bed. If you girls want a snack, there are some cookies on the counter in the kitchen. Willow, it was nice seeing you."

"You too. Good night."

"Night, Mom."

Mom heads upstairs, and Willow and I head to the kitchen.

"Ooh! Pecan Sandies!" Willow immediately digs in. "I haven't had these since I was kid!"'

"The baby's been craving them so Mom's been buying them," I tell her, taking a bite out of one myself.

Willow smiles. "Sure, the _baby_ wants it."

"Hey, if I can use this kid as an excuse to eat whatever I want, I'm going to do it!"

"Oh, before I forget. Do you have that shower caddy you were going to give me?"

"Oh, right. Let me go grab it."

I leave the kitchen and return a few moments later with said shower caddy. "Here you go. All yours."

"Thanks!"

"You're welcome. Yours broke and I don't need mine anymore. It's not like I'm going to be living the dorm life anymore anyway." I collapse in the seat and take another cookie out of the bag.

"You know, Buffy, you don't have to help me move into the dorm tomorrow. Oz and I can handle it."

"You don't want me to help?"

"No, it's not that! I was just thinking it might be hard for you. Mentally I mean. And plus, you know, you need to rest for the baby." Willow places her hand on my bump and smiles. She is the only person I will allow to do this. Everyone else needs permission to touch me.

"I'll be fine, Will. I'm not going to overdo it by lifting something too heavy. And besides, I want to help you set up your room. I just hope you get a decent roommate."

"Me too."

"Hey, maybe you'll be lucky and get one of those roommates that's never around. And then you and Oz can have some alone time, you know? No parents. None of Oz's roommates."

Willow smiles again. "That would be great! I love college!"

* * *

I'm sitting on Willow's bed watching her put away some clothes in the closet while Oz hangs a poster of the _Dingoes_ on the wall.

"So have you met your new roommate yet?" I ask.

"No, not yet, but from the way she decorated her side of the room, I think she might be pretty cool."

I glance at the other side. "I like the purple curtains and fairy lights."

"Yeah, they're a little funky."

"Well as long she's no Kathy, you'll be okay. I'm sorry I couldn't room with you this year."

"That's okay, Buffy. Besides, maybe having a new roommate this year will give me the chance to branch out and meet new people. Right, Oz?"

Oz answers with a slight nod.

Willow looks around her half of the dorm and smiles in satisfaction. "Well, I think that's it. Oh…wait." She walks over to the desk, moves the pencil cup an inch, then stands back. "Okay, now it's done. What do you think of my dorm?"

"Looks great, Will."

The door opens and a blonde girl walks in. She holds a box, which she almost drops except that Oz manages to divert disaster.

"Whoa, I've got it." Oz grabs the box and places it on the floor.

"Wow. Thanks. That was a lot heavier than I thought."

"Tara?"

"Willow? Are you my roommate?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh what a relief! I had a horrible roommate last year and didn't know who I'd get this time! I'm so glad it's you!"

I watch as Willow and the girl she calls Tara rush over and embrace each other. Tired of sitting, I stand up and walk over to the group. "So wait, you two already know each other?"

"Yeah. We're in Wicca group together!" Willow tells me.

"Oh. So you're a…"

"Witch."

"Cool."

"I'm not as good as Willow though."

"Oh, she's being modest." Willow smiles with a giddy look, then looks to me and Oz. "Oh! Tara, this is my friend Buffy."

Tara gives me a little smile. "Hi. Nice to meet you. Willow's mentioned you a few times."

"I hope she's only told you good things."

"All good. Don't worry."

"And this is my boyfriend Oz."

"I think Willow's mentioned you too."

Oz extends his hand to shake Tara's. "I'm going to guess she told you some bad things."

"Well…"

"It's okay. I was jerk to leave Willow. I deserved it."

Willow grabs Oz's arm and smiles at Tara. "Obviously we got back together."

Tara smiles. "That's great."

"I'm so glad you'll be my roommate this year, Tara! Buffy was going to be my roommate…"

"But then Buffy got knocked up," I say, finishing Willow's sentence.

Tara glances down at my bump, just realizing I was pregnant. "Oh, congratulations!"

"I wasn't going to say it like that," Willow says.

"I know. I'm just relieved to know that I'm off the hook for leaving you stuck with a new roommate."

* * *

A/N: I know this chapter sort of ends on a non-cliffhanger, but I had a few random scenes that fit nowhere else, and this is the chapter I had to put them in. Hope you enjoyed anyway!

To my American readers…have a happy and safe Fourth of July weekend! And if you go to the beach, please stay out of the ocean! The ocean is the shark's house, and those sharks are crazy this year!

Until 6!


	6. Hey Mom, I'm Here

**CHAPTER 6 – HEY MOM, I'M HERE**

-September 2000-

" _Angel?"_

" _Hmm?" I open my eyes and glance at the clock. It's nearly three in the morning._

" _Angel? Are you awake?"_

" _Yeah. What's wrong?"_

" _Nothing," she says, laughter in her voice. "The baby's kicking again."_

" _The baby's kicking?" Awake now, I sit up and place my hand on Buffy's belly and feel a small kick underneath my palm. I've felt the baby kick before, but even still, each time as just as exciting as the first._

" _I think the baby definitely takes after us," Buffy whispers._

" _Oh yeah?"_

" _Yeah. Not even born yet and already he's a night owl."_

" _He?"_

 _In the moonlight, I see a smile spread across her face. "I think it's a boy."_

When I awake, the smile is still on my face. For a very brief moment, I'm happy, the dream lingering in my morning haze. I've thought of Buffy and I having children before, but this sort of dream was a first.

Then reality hits me. I'm not at home. I'm in Astoria. And Buffy is far away from me.

* * *

"Angel?"

I look up from my sketch and see Althea standing in the doorway.

"Your coffee's getting cold."

I glance at the coffee, realizing it's still nearly full. "I'm sorry, Althea. I guess I lost track of time."

"What are you working on?" Althea walks over to me, curious at the sketch in my hand. She sits down beside me on the couch.

"I had a dream last night. I was back at home, and Buffy and I were having a baby. It was actually a really nice dream. And I just…I wanted to draw her. If she was ever pregnant, I'd imagine she'd look a lot like this."

I show the sketch to Althea, one of Buffy standing with her hands on her growing stomach, and she smiles in response. "Did you two want to have children together?"

"We didn't really talk about it much. She was still in school, so the timing just wasn't right. Plus, I think the idea of motherhood scared her a little. But I think if ever given the opportunity, she'd be an amazing mother. She's very protective of the people she loves. I'd really like that for us someday, if I ever get back home to her."

"You will," Althea says, placing a comforting hand on mine. "We'll do whatever we can to help bring you home to your Buffy."

"Thank you."

As Althea stands up, Roman enters the room. "Are you ready to go, Angel?"

I put the sketch aside to finish later and stand up. "I'm ready."

"Where are you off to today?" Althea asks.

"Thought I'd introduce Angel to our friends."

* * *

Roman, I find out, works in construction. Many more structures throughout the district have been damaged by the dragons, and he and his fellow neighbors have banded together to rebuild what has been damaged.

"This used to be a store," Roman explains as we arrive at the job site. "It was the only one in town, and ever since it's been destroyed, it's been very difficult for people to get the food and supplies that they need."

"Althea mentioned before that the Invaders ration the food supply?"

"Yes, it's unfortunate but true. And not just food, but other supplies as well. And what little they do bring to us, they charge us a great amount of money for. Some luxuries we don't even have anymore."

"What can I do to help?"

"Well, for starters, you could lend me a hand. How good are you with a hammer?"

"I think I can handle that," I tell him, taking the hammer from him.

I see a few more men arrive shortly after we do, and Roman calls them over.

"Friends, this is Angel, the great warrior I told you about."

Roman's fellow Astorians look much like Roman himself, with the blue hair and skin tone, though one large man has green features instead of blue. He reminds me of Lorne without the horns and with more muscle.

"We're so very pleased to meet you!" says one of the men, short but muscular. He extends his hand to shake mine and allows the handshake to go on a second or two longer. "I'm Walker."

"Pleased to meet you as well."

"Hornsby," says the other blue-haired man as he extends his hand to shake mine.

"And this big ole lug is Brutus," says the large green man, referring to himself in third person.

"Nice to meet you, Brutus."

"Angel, these are some of the men from my hunting group."

"We hear you're a good fighter," Hornsby says.

"You heard right."

"So when do we start?" Walker asks, looking to Roman.

Roman looks over his shoulder before speaking. "Come over tomorrow night around seven. One of you feign an injury or illness as to not arouse suspicion."

"What about the others?" Hornbsy asks.

"They'll be there."

"We better…" Brutus clears his throat and our small group immediately disperses.

"Is someone watching us?" I whisper to Roman as we walk away.

"Someone is always watching us," he replies.

* * *

 _His arms envelope me like a blanket, holding me close as we snuggle together under the knitted afghan on my bed. His hand brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, then moves down my body, finally coming to a rest on the little bump between us._

" _Guess what?"_

 _Angel smiles at me. "What?"_

" _They're doing the ultrasound today."_

" _I wish I could go with you."_

 _I reach for Angel's hand and our fingers intertwine together. "I wish you could too. Hey, guess what else? The doctor said if the baby is in a good position, they should be able to tell what the sex is."_

" _What do you want? A boy or girl?"_

" _Either one would be fine. I really just want a healthy baby."_

" _Oh come on, everyone says that. What do you really want, boy or girl? If you could choose."_

 _I give Angel a smile. "A boy. I would want a boy." I take my hand and run it through his hair. "And he would have your dark hair. And your brown eyes." I brush my finger against his lip. "And he would have your beautiful smile. He would look just like his father."_

" _Well hopefully he wouldn't have my nose."_

" _I would love if he had your nose. I miss you, Angel. I hate that the only way I get to see and talk to you is in my dreams. I don't even want to wake up. I know when I do, you'll be gone."_

" _It's okay. You can wake up. I'll be right here waiting for you when you close your eyes again."_

I open my eyes, realizing I had dozed off in the middle of the day. I reach for the other side of the bed, but it feels cold.

Angel was never there.

* * *

It feels awkward in the waiting room. I'm surrounded by women, all in various stages of pregnancy, all accompanied by their husbands or boyfriends. I feel as if everyone is staring at me, staring at the single girl with no boyfriend or husband to accompany her. Mom had work, and Willow had class, and since this was the only appointment I could get that wasn't so early in the morning, I am here alone.

The door leading to the back opens up, and a plump nurse with her bright red hair in a bun steps into the waiting room. "Buffy Summers?" she calls out in her singsong voice.

In the back, the nurse does the usual routine: checks my blood pressure, checks my temperature, makes me step on the scale. I'm then led into the exam room. The nurse leaves with instructions for me to change into the flimsy gown she's laid out on the bed.

I'm disappointed to find there are no magazines back here. In fact, the only reading material at all are the posters on the wall showing the stages of fetal development, and I've already seen them before.

Finally, after waiting for nearly ten minutes, there's a short rap on the door. A petite-looking brunette pokes her head into the room. "Buffy Summers?"

"Yeah, that's me."

The technician walks in and gives me a smile. "Hi, I'm Leigh! I'll be doing your ultrasound today!"

She sounds like one of those people that has a very bubbly personality. Either that or she's had way too much coffee today.

Leigh moves across the room and starts wheeling the ultrasound monitor closer to the bed. "Have you ever had an ultrasound before?"

"No, but I've seen them on TV. Of course they never tell you on TV that it requires a full bladder." Too much longer and I'm going to explode.

Leigh laughs. "Yeah, they always leave out that part!" She then looks around the room, as if just realizing I'm the only one there. "Do you want to wait a while before we do this? Is someone else coming? The father perhaps?"

I shake my head. "No, no one's coming. It's just me. The father…he would be here if he could. He's just sort of far away at the moment. He can't exactly come home right now."

The technician shoots me a sympathetic look. "Military?"

I nod. "Yeah." _Something like that._

"Oh wow, that must be really hard for you two. Having a baby and being separated? Will he be home in time for the birth?"

"I'm not sure. I hope so."

"Can you raise the gown for me? This is going to be really cold by the way."

I raise my gown, and she squirts a dab of cold jelly from a tube on my stomach, then continues with our conversation. "My sister's husband is stationed at Fort Hood right now. I never get to see her anymore. It's like every two years they have to move again."

She starts to roll a wand over my belly, and suddenly, an image appears on the monitor.

"There it is. That's your baby."

"Oh my god." I don't know how to describe how I feel the moment I see that grainy image on the screen. If being pregnant hadn't felt real before, it certainly feels real now. "I see the head. And a little hand. I didn't think I'd be able to make out a baby. I guess I was expecting a little kidney bean or something."

She laughs. "Looks like you've like got a thumb-sucker too."

I stare at the monitor a little closer, and sure enough, the baby is sucking on its thumb. "I didn't know they did that in the womb."

"They do."

She moves the wand around and points out what she sees. A leg. A foot. An arm.

"Well so far, everything appears to be normal. Oh…"

"What? Is something wrong?"

"Oh no, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to alarm you. The baby's just in a really good position to tell its gender. Do you want to know?"

"Yes."

She smiles at me. "You're having a little boy."

I can't help the smile across my face. "A boy?"

"Yep, definitely a boy. I know it's probably hard to tell unless you know what you're looking for, but that right there?" She points to the monitor. "That's definitely a penis." The doctor glances at me and smiles again. "Is that what you wanted? A boy?"

I nod yes, and then the waterworks start. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, that's okay! You're not the first expectant mom to cry in this room, trust me. There's some Kleenex on the table next to you. That's what they're there for."

I grab a tissue and blow my nose.

"I know, it's amazing, right?" The technician looks at the monitor again, finishing her exam. "That's why I love doing this job. It's so amazing to see the miracle of life every day. It's totally okay to be moved by that."

She thinks I'm crying because I'm overwhelmed with joy, but really, I'm overwhelmed with grief. Angel should be here to see this too.

* * *

When Roman and I arrive home later that evening, I'm exhausted. After being on my feet all day laboring in the hot sun, all I want to do is take a shower and hit the hay.

Later as I get into bed, I glance at Buffy's picture one last time before turning off the light. I don't know how I've managed to go on without her. And to think I was dumb enough to actually walk away from her at one time. We missed out on so much time together those months apart.

Waiting to see her again is the hardest part of all.

* * *

 _Buffy was still awake. In the dark, I could sense her breathing hadn't evened out like it normally does after we make love and she falls asleep in my arms._

" _Can't sleep?" I asked her._

" _Hmm," she mumbled. "Just thinking."_

" _About what?"_

" _Now that you're human, do you ever think of, I don't know, making yourself legal?"_

" _Making myself…legal?"_

" _You know, a social security number, paying taxes, a last name? I don't know how these things work."_

" _I've gotten by pretty good without a legal identity for two centuries. Don't worry…I think I'll be alright. Besides, I don't think I could really explain my situation to the government."_

" _Okay, I guess you're right. But what about your name?"_

" _What about it?"_

" _Well, I don't know…" Buffy hesitated, and I could almost feel her blushing in the dark. "What if we were to get married someday? What would I call myself if you don't have a last name?"_

 _I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face. "You've been thinking about things like that?"_

 _Buffy traced circles on my chest with her fingertip. "Well…yeah, sure. I mean, I'm not trying to pressure you or anything. I know we just got back together. I just…you know, sometimes I think about the future."_

" _And you think about us getting married in the future?"_

 _Buffy smiled at me. "Well it's not exactly like I want to spend my life with anyone else. When I think of the future, all I can see is you."_

 _"Me too. You're the only girl for me."_

 _Buffy smiled again. "Good, then it's settled. We're stuck with each other. So now, back to my dilemma."_

" _Your dilemma?"_

" _My married name. What would I call myself? Mrs. Angel? Mrs. Summers? Or would I just combine the two and call myself Mrs. Summers-Angel? That's a mouthful."_

" _You can call yourself anything you want."_

" _What about…you know, your real last name? When you were human before? You've never told me."_

" _I don't have a last name."_

" _Oh come on, sure you do."_

" _No, I don't."_

" _Everyone has a last name."_

" _No, not me."_

 _Buffy stared at me, frowning. "Do you just not remember it? Is that it? Or wait…" She suddenly laughed. "I know! You don't want to tell me because it's something really embarrassing! I'm right, aren't I? What is it? Tell me. I promise I won't laugh!"_

" _It's…it's O'Connor. It was O'Connor, I mean."_

"' _O'Connor'? Oh, well that's not embarrassing at all. I like it actually. It's very Irish. Now let's see…Buffy O'Connor. Mrs. Buffy O'Connor. Or no, how about Mrs. Angel O'Connor? I like that one the best."_

" _Please don't call yourself that."_

 _Buffy's smile faded. "Why not?"_

" _Because it's not my name anymore. I don't deserve to have that name anymore."_

 _Buffy looked at me, and in the dim light, I could see her confusion. "Why?"_

" _Because every time I think of my family name, I'm reminded of how I destroyed mine. Killed my mother, killed my father, killed my little sister…"_

" _Oh, Angel, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean to mean to bring back memories for you that are painful."_

" _You don't have to apologize. You were just curious, and I don't blame you. I just want to be called Angel."_

 _Buffy smiled. "I can do that," she said, kissing me before curling up against me, laying her head back on my chest._

 _We lay in the dark for a few moments, neither of us saying a word. Across the room, the fire crackled, and outside, an owl hooted in the distance._

" _Liam," I said, breaking the moment of silence._

 _Buffy lifted her head and stared at me again. "What?"_

" _Liam. That was my given name. I never told you that either."_

" _Liam. Liam," she said again, as if she was trying out how the name sounded. "That's beautiful. I can picture you as a Liam."_

" _But I'm not that person anymore either."_

" _That's okay." Buffy laid her head down on my chest again. "You'll always be just Angel to me."_

* * *

Later as I climb into bed, exhausted despite the fact that I feel like I've been sleeping for most of the day, something gets my attention and I'm wide awake.

I feel the baby kick.

I place my hand over my little bump, still feeing stunned by the fact that the baby actually just moved inside me. I've felt little flutters before, but never a kick. Granted, it's not a big kick, but more like a little thump. Just enough as if it say, " _Hey, Mom. I'm here_."

"Hi, Liam." The name just comes to me. A name so perfect that I can't think of anything else more fitting for our little boy.

 _Liam._ I'll name him after his father.

* * *

A/N: So obviously, no one really knows Angel's real last name, as it was never mentioned on the show. I went with O'Connor because a) it's Irish and b) someone had a theory that Angel's last name was O'Connor and that was the reason he named his son Connor. Maybe? Perhaps? Well, I guess we'll never really know, but I'm going with O'Connor.

And also, I thought it was important for Buffy to know his given name was Liam…for obvious reasons. :)


	7. Bump in the Road

**CHAPTER 7 – BUMP IN THE ROAD**

 _I was sitting in front of the fireplace watching the flames when I felt Buffy wrap her arms around my neck._

" _Uh-oh. I know that look. You're brooding."_

 _Buffy moved to sit in my lap and gave me a worried look. "What's wrong?"_

" _Buffy, what's my purpose?"_

" _Your…purpose?"_

" _Yeah."_

 _A smile spread across her face. "Well, to make me happy for one."_

 _I smiled back at her. "That's a given. But I mean…what's my purpose in life? I feel like I should be, I don't know, doing something. Something meaningful. Ever since I became human, I've felt so…lost. Like I just don't know what direction I'm supposed to take next. When I was a vampire, it was easy to know my purpose. It was redemption. I had to atone for all of the pain and torment I had caused. And when I became human, it was like my reward, like I had finally accomplished that goal. And now…I just don't know what I should do."_

" _Your purpose can still be to help people. You still have Angel Investigations."_

" _Yeah, I know. But somehow, it just doesn't seem like enough. I feel like I should be doing something more."_

 _Buffy pondered my quandary for a moment, then smiled. "I know what you need."_

" _What's that?"_

" _You need a job."_

" _I have a job. We just discussed that."_

" _No, I mean a day job. You moonlight as a paranormal detective, but you need a day job. Like all the other humans."_

" _What kind of job could I have?"_

 _Buffy thought about it, and then her expression lit up as she had an idea. "I know the perfect job for you!"_

" _Oh yeah?"_

" _You could open up a gym and teach everyone your mad martial art skills."_

" _Hmm, that sounds interesting. Tell me more."_

" _Well…you could teach little kids karate. And they could show up with their cute little white outfits and colored belts? And you could teach self-defense classes to women. You know, show them some jui-jitsu moves? And also, you could offer private lessons as well."_

" _Private lessons?"_

 _Buffy smiled. "Like, you know? Teaching your girlfriend a little tai chi? We haven't done that in a while."_

" _We'll have to remedy that then."_

" _And you know what else?"_

" _What?"_

" _I could be your assistant. When you're teaching women self-defense, I could play the part of your victim."_

 _I couldn't help but laugh. "You'd kick my ass."_

" _I know! That's the whole point, right? It's all about empowering women and giving them confidence! And if they see you, as big as you are, fall flat on your ass, all the better!"_

" _Okay, but you couldn't use your slayer strength in that situation. Not everyone's a slayer and it wouldn't exactly be fair."_

" _Okay, I guess you're right," she said with a little pout. "But you know what? I could still kick your ass."_

 _I laughed. "I have no doubt about that."_

* * *

I know what my purpose is now.

Not exactly what I had envisioned, but more or less, the same goal in mind.

The five men from Roman's hunting group stand before me in the basement, all brought here on the premise that two of them were injured. Staring at the men before me, I realize my job is cut out for me. Two of them men look as if they've recently lost a lot of weight, while one is overweight. Only two of them, three including Roman, seem fit enough.

"So…do any of you know anything about fighting?"

The group of men are quiet for a moment, but the man I recognize as Walker raises his hand. "I know how to use a crossbow."

"That's good. But what about hand to hand combat?"

Another one of the men raises his hand. "I'm very skilled with a knife."

"Okay, that's also good. But what if you didn't have any weapons?"

The group is quiet again, and Roman moves to my side. "Angel, I'm afraid our people are not skilled in combat fighting. Our magic was always our weapon of choice. Without that, we have nothing."

"Alright then, we need to change that. Is there a gym that you go to regularly?"

"We have a gym in town, yes," Roman replies.

"Then I suggest if you don't go regularly, start. You'll need to start weight training exercises to build up your strength. In addition to that, a little cardio would be good too. In order to be prepared to fight, you must be in good health."

"A little hard to be in good health when we can barely put food on the table," says one of the smaller looking men.

I glance at Roman. If these are the best men he could bring me, then we're in serious trouble.

* * *

"Oh, he's so cute!" Willow gushes as she stares at the glossy, grainy images from the ultrasound.

Xander glances at the photos and smiles. "Yep, there's definitely a head. I can't make out much more than that though."

Anya reaches across the counter and takes one of the photos. "Oh I can. Definitely all boy, that's for sure. I see its little baby penis." Anya hands the pictures back to me.

"So whatcha going to name him, Buff?" Xander asks.

I don't want to tell them yet. If I do, I'll have to tell them how I came up with the name, and then I'll just burst into tears as my emotions have been all over the place. And maybe I just want it to be a secret for a little while, so I just shrug and smile. "Still thinking on it."

Later when Will goes to class and Xander heads to work, I sneak off to my training room to do some light exercise, though what I actually end up doing is curling up on the bench, staring at my ultrasound pictures for about the hundredth time.

Then, I reach into my pocket, pulling out the picture of Angel I carry around with me. I hold the picture next to the clearest ultrasound image, wondering if I can make out any resemblance.

"I miss you so much, Angel," I say to his picture, running my finger along his face.

The hardest part of my pregnancy has not been the morning sickness, or the hormones, or even trying to find decent maternity clothes. The hardest part has been the fact that Angel is missing it all.

I've felt the baby move a few more times, and every time, I wish Angel was here so that I could grab his hand and place it on my belly. I wish he could feel our son kicking inside me, see his face light up in amazement.

I wish Angel could have seen the ultrasound with me, holding my hand, watching as that little grainy image of a baby sucked on his thumb. But he's not here. And I know I won't give up, but how can I do this? How can I do this without Angel here?

The tears sting my eyes, and I wipe them away with my finger. Looks like despite my resolve not to let my emotions get to me, I'm going to cry anyway.

* * *

"How was the training?" Althea asks once the men pack up and leave.

"It's going to be a lot more difficult than I thought. Not impossible. Just…a challenge."

"We've always been a very peaceful group of people. And when you don't experience much evil in the world, it's difficult to know how to combat it. I'm sure with some practice, they'll improve. They're all very skilled hunters."

"That's right. Actually, you just gave me a really good idea."

"Let's hear it," Roman says as he walks into the room, having heard our conversation.

"Well, training in the basement is fine for now, but eventually, it might raise some suspicion. We need a new location."

"I can't think of any other place," Roman says.

"I can. The forest."

Roman frowns. "I'm not so sure about that."

"Well you go into the forest anyway to hunt."

"Yes, but that's out of necessity. We try to limit our time there. The forest is dangerous."

"Exactly, and if I'm going to train an army, they've got to be prepared for anything. Look, I spent four months out there, and know the place pretty well. I've gone up against wolves, dragons, and some other creatures out there I don't even know what to call. Yeah, it's dangerous. But sometimes, you see what a man is really made of when he comes face to face with something that might kill him."

Althea looks to her husband. "He's right. Training a few men in the basement will only work for so long before the Watchmen get wind. And the Invaders won't enter the forest. They have no reason to."

Roman nods. "Well, there are a lot of caves there. For which we can hide out if necessary."

"And believe me, I know where every one of them is."

"Alright. You've convinced me. Tomorrow we will gather a hunting group and prepare for training."

* * *

The morning sun brightens the living room as I sit on the couch and sketch. Buffy's smiling face stares back at me as I put the finishing touches on her lips.

I feel someone sit next to me on the couch, and Andromeda leans against me and glances at the sketch I'm working on. "Is that your girlfriend you're drawing?" she asks.

"Yes."

"She's pretty. What's her name?"

"Her name is Buffy." Reaching into my pocket, I pull out Buffy's wallet-sized photograph for her to see.

Andromeda takes the picture and compares it to the sketch. "Wow! You're a really good artist! It looks just like her!"

"Thank you."

She hands the photograph back to me and I tuck it safely back into my wallet.

"You must miss her a lot."

"Yes, I do. Every second of every day."

"You'll get to see her again. Papa says that once magic is restored in our world, you'll get to go home."

"I just hope that's soon." I give her a smile. "Not to say that I haven't appreciated your family's hospitality."

She looks down at the sketch again. "How did you meet Buffy?"

"That's a long story."

Andromeda's eyes brighten. "Oh that's okay! I love a good long story! Especially a romantic one!"

I raise an eyebrow at her. "How old are you?"

"Old enough to hear a love story!" she says with a smile.

"Well, to understand how we met, I should tell you about Buffy first. She's a slayer."

Andromeda gives me a confused look. "What's a slayer?"

"It's like a warrior. In my world, there's a chosen one, one girl in all the world who fights the forces of evil. She has superior strength and quick reflexes, and Buffy was chosen to be that girl."

"How do you get chosen?"

"It's random, really. But whenever one slayer dies, another one takes her place. Now, this is where the story gets a little interesting. I was the enemy."

Andromeda frowns. "But you're a good person. You can't be an enemy."

"At one time, though, I was. Do you know what a vampire is?"

"I've heard of vampires before, but vampires don't exist."

"Actually, they do, at least they do in our world, and I was one."

Her eyes grow wide. "But…that can't be. You're human. I thought once a human became a vampire, they were dead."

"Most of the time, yes, but I was the exception."

"So you became human again and fell in love with Buffy?"

"I became human, yes, but I fell in love with Buffy long before. You see, I had spent many years tormenting people because of what I was. But one day, I was cursed with a soul. Before I had a soul, I didn't care who I hurt. But after, all I felt was the guilt for everyone I had caused pain. And after that, I decided that I would do some good in the world. So instead of being bad, I started to help the good guys."

"Like Buffy?"

I smile at her. She catches on quick. "Yes, like Buffy. When she first became a slayer, she was a girl just a few years older than you. I decided to help her. And one thing led to another."

Andromeda was grinning ear to ear. "You fell in loooove?"

"Yes."

"So wait, you were still a vampire then. A good vampire. How did you become human?"

"I was exposed to a demon's blood during a fight one day. It's blood had regenerating properties and well, it sort of regenerated me."

"That's such a wonderful story! I'm so sorry your 'happily ever after' hit a bump in the road though."

"Well, to be honest, I'm sort of used to it now. Buffy and I didn't always have it easy. We had our ups and downs, mostly because she was human and I, well, wasn't. But in the end, we were stronger than ever. I was even going to ask her to marry me except that I ended up here before I had a chance to."

"Oh, that's so sad."

"Yes, but I'll get back home to her someday, just like you said."

"Promise me something?"

"Of course."

"Whenever you get back home, invite me to the wedding?"

I smile at her, and nod. "I'll invite you and your whole family. Well, I better get ready to go." I put the sketch pad on the table and see Andromeda frowning.

"Go? Where are you going?"

"With me," Roman answers as he walks into the room and kisses his daughter on the cheek.

"Papa, you have your sword. Are you hunting again?"

"Yes, dear. We have a lot of hungry people to feed. Now go get dressed or you will be late for school."

Andromeda sighs as she stands up. "Okay. Goodbye, Angel. Thanks for the story. Bye, Papa."

I wave as Andromeda skips out of the room.

"I feel it best not to worry the children about circumstances."

I nod. "I understand. Well, is everyone ready?"

"We're ready when you are."

* * *

I'm in the middle of having some strange dream about a tentacled demon who only eats eggs when a shake on my arm jars me awake. As I pick my head up from the table, an unflattering string of drool dribbles out of the corner of my mouth. I wipe it away and look up to see Giles looming over me.

"Thank god you're alright. Your mother's been worried sick since she realized you didn't come home last night."

I glance around the magic shop, realizing that it's morning and that I must have fallen asleep. The book I was reading last night still lies open on the table. And sure enough, I see I had several missed calls on my phone. I left it in silent mode.

"I'm sorry. I guess I just dozed off. I used the key you gave me. I thought I would research for a while. Hope you don't mind."

"Of course I don't mind. You're always welcome. I'll let your mother know you're here."

As Giles heads behind the counter, I slip into the bathroom to freshen up. When I head back into the shop, Giles is on the phone with my mother.

He glances at me as I walk back to the table. "Yes, Joyce, she's just fine. Merely fell asleep at the shop is all."

I close the open book on the table and began to put all of the books in a neat stack.

"Yes, I'll tell her. Goodbye, Joyce."

Giles hangs up the phone and walks back over to me. "Your mother says she has something she wants to show you when you get home."

"Okay."

"Are you alright?"

"Will I ever be alright?"

Giles gives me a sympathetic look, but is saved from saying anything else when the doorbell jingles and Willow rushes in.

"Oh good, you're here! Your mom called me freaking out."

"I know. I heard."

"Well, I suppose I will get the shop ready for business," Giles announces as he heads back to the counter.

Willow sits down at the table beside me. "Were you here all night?"

"Yeah. Just researching."

"Angel?"

I nod, moving the stack of books aside. "What else?"

Willow reaches for the top book and glances at the title. She then looks at me, cocking an eyebrow. "This is really advanced magic, Buffy. Maybe even advanced for _me_."

"Well it's not like I know how to do any of it. I just wanted to see if I could find anything that could help me."

"Did you find anything?"

"No. Well, there was a spell about bringing back a loved one, but somehow I don't think that's exactly what I'm looking for."

"No, that's not what you're looking for."

"Willow, I've been thinking. Maybe we could try that spell again."

"But it didn't work, Buffy."

"I know, but maybe we could try it again."

"Buffy, we've tried that spell like three times."

"Well then let's try something different this time. There has to be a spell to bring him back, Will."

Willow doesn't say anything for a few moments, and I can tell she's getting tired of me asking her to do this. But finally, she relents. "Okay, Buffy. We'll try another spell."

"Thanks, Will."

* * *

Moving our training to the forest proved to be a good move. Not only is there more room to move, but I've had a chance to assess their hunting skills and know where their strengths and weaknesses lie.

We stop our training exercises to feast on a boris Walker had captured for lunch. Walker, despite his small size, wasn't lying when he said he was skilled with a crossbow.

Carter, like myself, prefers an axe.

Roman and Hornsby are both proficient with a sword, even giving show to an impromptu sparring match.

Brutus, though not fast, excels in strength. His large size, as it turns out, is his advantage.

While Grayer can throw a knife into a tree, hitting the target spot on.

Though I'd like to teach them all how to fight without weapons, I can definitely see how their skills can work to our advantage.

* * *

When I get home, I hear Mom shuffling around in the guest bedroom. I go down the hall to investigate.

"Mom?"

"Oh, Buffy! Good, you're home!"

I look around the room, seeing that mom has moved some furniture around. "I'm sorry I worried you this morning. I fell asleep and—you bought a crib?" Sitting against the wall, a crib lies where the desk used to be.

"A lady I work with at the gallery was looking to sale her daughter's old crib that she doesn't use anymore, and when she found out I was expecting a grandchild, she offered me a really good deal on it." She glances around the room, a pensive look on her face. "We can probably move some of this stuff to the basement. I know it's just a crib for now but we'll need to make room for the rest of the furniture we'll need in here. I think this room will set up rather nicely for a nursery. What do you think?"

It must have taken me too long to respond because Mom gives me a funny look.

"You don't like the crib, do you?"

"What? No, Mom, I love it! Honest. It's just that I was sort of thinking the baby could sleep in my room. At least for a little while. You know, that way I could keep a close eye on him."

A smile comes across her face as she crosses the room to stand beside me. "Honey, that's just fine. We can do whatever you want."

She sits down on the bed, and I sit down beside her.

"You know, when you were a baby, when your father and I first brought you home from the hospital, you slept in this tiny bassinet at the foot of our bed. And you never slept through the night. You woke up every two hours, like clockwork. But I never minded those two a.m. feedings. In fact, I loved it. It was like our special time together. I would get out of bed and feed or change or rock you. Your father never lifted a finger, of course. That should have been my first clue about him.

"But by four a.m., I'd be tired, so sometimes I'd just bring you into the bed with me. I loved nothing more than to have you cuddle up next to me. But then, you started sleeping through the night, and your father said it was time for you to sleep in your own room from now on. And that was the end of that."

"I'm sorry." I don't know why I feel like I have to apologize for something I couldn't have possibly controlled, but I do.

"Oh, honey, you don't have apologize. And anyway, your father was right about one thing. I couldn't keep you a baby forever, no matter how hard I tried." Mom reaches for my hand and gives it a little squeeze. "I can't believe my baby is having a baby now."

"Mom, I really love the crib. Thank you. I haven't even thought of what I might need yet. I'm glad you're here to help me."

Mom smiles and kisses my forehead. "You're welcome." She then stands up, wiping the dust from her hands on her pants. "Well, I think moving around all this furniture has made me work up an appetite. Are you hungry?"

"Starving."

"Why don't I go fix us something to eat?"

"Okay."

Mom heads downstairs, and I stand up and walk over to the crib. I run my hand along the smooth wood, and already, I can picture my baby sleeping in this crib.

* * *

It's dark when our group begins to head home. I feel more confident than I did before, especially now that the men are getting the hang of the moves I'm trying to show them.

As we follow the trail that leads out of the woods, I hear a sound. Roman must hear it too, for he stops and holds his hand out in a halting gesture. He pulls his sword out of the holster and scans the forest behind us. "Gentlemen, I think we have company."

I look toward the woods and nod. "Wolves. I hear them too."

The other men follow our gaze, all pulling out their weapon of choice. Now they hear the sound too. Twigs snapping. A low growl.

Three pairs of yellow eyes appear from behind the bushes, watching our every movement. One then lets out a howl, and the three wolves charge at us.

I stand back and observe the group in action. I could help, and I will if necessary, but I want to see for myself what they can do.

Roman and Hornsby go toe to toe with two of them, fighting the snarling wolves off with their swords, while Walker I notice is climbing a tree. I think at first he's trying to escape, but then notice his crossbow and Walker ready to take aim.

Carter charges toward the other wolf with his axe, while Brutus grabs a boulder that looks almost as big as him and throws it at the wolf, crushing his head. The wolf yelps in pain as he collapses to the ground.

Another wolf falls down. Bright red blood pours from the slit in his neck from Roman's sword, as well as the arrow from Walker's crossbow in his side.

One wolf remains, snapping at Hornsby despite the bloody marks over its body. The wolf moves to stand on his hindquarters and actually towers over him for a moment. The wolf, however, yelps, and I notice Grayer's knife stuck in his back. While distracted from the pain behind him, Hornsby puts the creature out of his misery and slits his jugular.

I walked toward the men, all catching their breath after their near brush with death. "Wow, that was impressive. Good teamwork."

Roman smiles. "With wolves as big as they are, we have no other choice but to work together."

"And on the positive side, we have meat to eat!" Grayer says.

The men cheer as they gather the wolf carcasses, and I stride out of the woods with a smile on my face. If they can fight like that against a trio of wolves, then maybe there is hope for them after all.

And if that's the case, I just might be able to go home soon.

* * *

We wave to the night guard at the tower, and a few moments later, he gives us the all clear to go through. The gate to the fence opens, and we walk through with our kills in tow. A bonus despite the fact that we hadn't even meant to hunt today.

We've only gone a few yards though when Roman halts us. "Stop for a moment. We have more trouble."

I follow Roman's gaze to find a group of demons on horseback, and they're heading in our direction.

"Looks like we've got a fight on our hands," I mutter, wielding my axe a little tighter.

Roman looks to me, alarmed. "Absolutely not! We're not going to fight them. Keep calm, everyone. It's Cronus."

I'm confused by Roman's refusal to fight until I realize he's afraid. They all are.

As the demons approach us, I can see now that they are the Invaders, though from Roman's reaction, I had no doubt of that. None of them look particularly happy, and all are heavily armed. They stop a few feet in front of us and eye us suspiciously.

"Good evening, gentlemen," one of them says.

"Good evening, Cronus," Roman replies.

The demon, Cronus, seemingly the leader of this little group, gets down from his horse and moves closer to us. "Roman, I see you've been hunting again. My, my, it looks like you and your group had a marvelous hunt!"

"Yes, sir."

"Wonderful. We're starved. Aren't we?" Cronus glances behind him, and they all nod with greedy smiles.

When he turns around, he turns his gaze toward me. "Who are you?"

"The name's Angel."

"You're not from this world. How did you get here?"

"I uh…took a wrong turn at Pylea." I give the man a slight smile, but he does not seem amused.

"How long have you been here? I've never seen you before."

"Almost five months. I've been in the forest for most of that time. I got a little lost."

He continues to stare at me, still suspicious of me I'm sure. "What is your business with these men?"

"He's an old friend of mine," Roman answers. "He came for a visit. He'll be staying with me for a while."

Cronus grunts, then nods to his men. "Get the wolves."

The others dismount and walk over to us, stealing the dead animals without trouble. As they load up the carcasses, Cronus gets back on his horse and nods toward us. "Thank you for dinner, gentlemen. We should do this again sometime."

With that, he orders his horse to move and begins to ride away, his men following behind.

"Okay, what the hell just happened?" I ask, looking to Roman for answers.

"That's not the first time that's happened."

"And you just stood there and let them take our food?"

"We don't have a choice, Angel," Hornsby says.

"You _always_ have a choice! You can fight back!"

"Against Cronus?" Grayer scoffs. "No one crosses paths with Cronus unless they have a death wish!"

And here I had been so hopeful. Apparently I've got my work cut out for me here.

* * *

The candlelight illuminates Willow's face as she closes her eyes, deep in concentration. She chants in words I don't understand and reaches across the table for my hands. I place my hands in hers and close my eyes, thinking of the baby, thinking of Angel, thinking about where in the universe he could possibly be right now.

I want him to come home so bad, and I want this to work. I feel as if my need for him is so strong that my will alone could make this spell work. The universe has been against us so many times, but our love survived. This is just another obstacle for us to face.

Willow stops chanting, and I open my eyes just in time to see the candle between us extinguish on its own.

But looking around the shop, there's still nobody here but us. No Angel. Not even a feeling that he's nearby.

It didn't work.


	8. What's My Destiny?

**CHAPTER 8 - WHAT'S MY DESTINY?**

After a few more days, the men and I settle into a pattern and make regular trips to the forest for training. I can tell that the men are still hesitant to fight, but I know they are more than capable.

"Fighting is just like hunting," I tell them. "Only the Invaders are your prey. Think what you would do if they were an animal."

"I don't think my crossbow is a match for the Invaders," Walker says.

"Nonsense. I've seen my girlfriend kill a vampire nearly twice her size with one of those. Let's do something." I walk over to a nearby tree and use my axe to chip a line into the bark. "Imagine this tree is one of the Invaders," I tell him. "It's much larger than you, but I'm willing to bet that if you can hit a boris, you can hit that line."

"Well of course I can make that target. Almost anyone could."

"Prove it."

Walker raises his crossbow and sets his sights on the tree. Once he has the target in sight, he lets the arrow loose. It hits the target spot on.

"I'm not sure what that proves," Grayer says. "The boy can hit a target."

"What it proves is that a larger object is much easier to hit than a smaller one. Walker, where do you hit an animal when you make a shot?"

"Either the head or the heart. Sometimes the throat. That usually ensures a kill."

"And can you hit a moving target?"

"Well…sure."

"So if an Invader was coming after you, and the only means of defense you had was your crossbow, where would you hit him?"

"The head or heart."

"Exactly. So don't tell me a crossbow won't do any harm. Believe me, it can, even to an Invader."

* * *

Cordelia looks up from her desk as I walk into the office. "Oh my god! _Buffy_! Look at you and your cute little baby bump! You are _so_ L.A.!"

"Hi, Cordelia." I think there was a hello in there somewhere.

"Pregnant moms are totally in this year, did you know that? Just about every actress in Hollywood is suddenly having one. Of course, the stars all have personal trainers to help get them back in shape afterwards, not like regular women. To be honest, I don't know why any woman would really want to be pregnant. It totally ruins your figure. One minute you're glowing, and then as soon as that baby pops out, you're fat and have all these ugly stretch marks. About the only good thing that comes from it is the bigger boobs, but even then if you breastfeed, they leak all the time. It's totally disgusting."

"Gee, thanks, Cordelia. I guess I should have thought about that before I went and got myself knocked up."

"Hey, I'm just giving you a warning of what's to come. I know. I watched my Aunt Rena go from Pageant Queen to Soccer Mom. _And_ wearing 'mom jeans'! Not a pretty picture."

"Is that Buffy?" Doyle comes out of Angel's office carrying a box.

"Hey, Doyle."

He sits the box down on the floor and gives me a hug. "Hey! Glad you came. It's so good to see you."

"You too."

Doyle pulls away and gives me that pitiful look people always give me lately. "How you holdin' up?"

I shrug. "Well, you know. I'm dealing." Around the office, I notice there are boxes everywhere, and Cordelia is obviously clearing out her desk. "What's going on here?"

"The lease is up on this place," Doyle explains as he grabs a roll of packing tape.

"You said in your message you wanted me to come help you and Cordelia this weekend. You never said anything about packing up the office."

"I'm sorry. I thought when I asked if you wanted to go through some of Angel's things, it was implied."

"So what are you doing? Moving into another office?"

Cordelia places her packed box next to Doyle's and gives me a look. "No, Buffy. We're closing shop."

" _What_?! You can't shut down _Angel Investigations_! What about Angel?"

"Buffy, with no Angel, there _is_ no _Angel Investigations_ ," Cordelia says.

"How do you think he's going to feel when he comes back and finds you've shut down the office? He's going to think you've given up on him! Unless…unless you two have already given up on him."

I sink down on the couch, feeling angry, sad, and confused all at once.

"No, Buffy. That couldn't be further from the truth." Cordelia walks over to the couch and sits down beside me. "Doyle and I haven't given up on trying to bring Angel back. We want him to come home too."

"And if we can't bring Angel back, I have no doubt in my mind he's trying just as hard to get back here himself," Doyle adds. "The man's as stubborn as a mule."

"I'm sorry. I guess I just jumped to the wrong conclusion. But do you really have to close down _Angel Investigations_?"

"Quite honestly, we can't afford it anymore," Cordelia says. "We haven't had a client in weeks, not even a cheating spouse or missing pet case. And Doyle hasn't had a vision since Angel left."

"Is that true?" I ask Doyle.

He nods. "Afraid so. Wow, never thought I'd be sad to see the visions go away."

"But when Angel comes back, you'll have visions again, right? And you can start up again, can't you?"

Cordelia smiles. "I don't think so. Even if Angel were here, I doubt AI would last much longer."

"What do you mean?"

"Well isn't it obvious?" Cordelia says with laughter in her voice. "If Angel were here, I'm sure he'd rather play the role of full-time daddy rather than paranormal investigator."

I smile back at her. "Oh. Yeah, I guess so."

"He'd have to move out of the creepy mansion though. That poor kid of yours would have nightmares with all those gargoyles stationed out front."

"You ladies hungry at all?" Doyle asks. "The diner up the street has a really good lunch special."

"Starving." Cordelia stands up and grabs her purse from the desk. "Buffy, you coming?"

I shake my head. "No, that's okay. I stopped somewhere before coming here and got a bite to eat. I think I'm just going to go to the apartment and look through some things."

"There's some empty boxes in the office if you want to take anything," Cordelia says.

I give her a nod, watching as Cordelia and Doyle head out the door. Once they are gone, the office seems too quiet, a ticking clock on the desk the only sound I hear.

The elevator ride down to Angel's basement apartment is the loneliest elevator ride I've ever had. Memories of Angel haunt me here. One night in particular comes to mind. Me pressed against the wall, Angel kissing my neck, the elevator ride too long of a wait for the both of us…

It's dark in the apartment, and I fumble around in the darkness to turn on the lamp. The room, now flooded with light, looks exactly the same as the last time I saw it, albeit a bit dusty.

The books are still in order on the shelf. Weapons are stored neatly in the cabinet. I head to the kitchen and turn the light on in there, then open the refrigerator out of curiosity. There's nothing but a box of baking soda and a stick of butter that has probably gone bad.

The kitchen table is still wobbly, and I can't stop myself from grinning since I know the reason why.

Another memory. This place is full of them, and I didn't even come here all that often. Most of the time, Angel came to me, going back and forth from this place to the mansion.

I had intended to start sorting through Angel's things, but instead, I felt tired after my long drive. In the bedroom, the bed is made. It hasn't been slept in for months. Kicking off my shoes, I pull the covers down and climb into the bed. Eerily enough, it almost makes me feel closer to Angel. I smile as I think of how many hours we spent in this bed over Thanksgiving weekend.

Underneath the other pillow, my hand brushes against something that feels like a notebook. Upon further investigation, I realize it's actually Angel's sketch book. Opening the pad to the first page, there's a drawing of me sleeping. I'm still amazed at how Angel could capture exactly how I look on paper. I couldn't draw as good as that even if I tried.

There's a few more sketches of me sleeping, while others appear to be self-portraits.

My favorite one is the last sketch. It's one of us kissing, with the sun setting over the ocean in the background. I don't even realize I'm crying until a tear lands on the paper.

* * *

 _Angel looked up from his sketch pad as I came into the bedroom. "Feel better?"_

 _I nodded. "Yep. Nothing like a hot shower and washing off the demon goop to make a girl feel like a million bucks." I crawled onto the bed and rested my head on Angel's shoulder. "Whatcha drawing?"_

 _Angel showed me the sketch. It was a drawing of me sleeping._

" _Just putting some finishing touches on it," he explained. "I sketched it last night when you were sleeping."_

" _You're so good at that. You know…if you ever want me to pose for you, all you have to do is ask."_

 _Angel gave me a smile. "Oh yeah?"_

" _Sure. I could even pose for you like a French girl if you want."_

 _When Angel gave me a confused look, I just laughed. "It's a joke!"_

" _I don't get it."_

" _Sorry. I forget those pop culture references go over your head sometimes. It's from that movie Titantic," I explained. "Leo DiCaprio's character is an artist, and he draws these French girls nude."_

" _Oh." A slow smile spread across his face. "You want to pose nude for me?"_

 _I slapped Angel lightly on the arm. "No, I'm kidding! Besides, even if I was going to pose nude for you, it wouldn't be here in this man cave of yours. It's too cold to be down here with no clothes on." Just at the thought, I shivered, then pulled the fuzzy pink robe my mom had bought me for Christmas around me a little tighter._

" _You didn't seem to have a problem being without clothes last night," he teased._

" _That's different. I had your body heat to keep me warm."_

 _Angel set his sketch book aside and rolled over me. "Actually, if truth be told, you wouldn't have to pose nude for me at all." Angel reached for the belt on my robe and undid the knot. "I can see you naked anytime." He opened my robe and gazed down at me. "I have every inch of your body memorized."_

" _Is that so?"_

" _Mmm-hmm," he mumbled before leaning forward to place a kiss on my stomach._

 _Of course, my stomach picked that very moment to growl._

 _Angel looked up at me, laughing. "Your stomach just growled."_

" _We forgot dinner."_

" _Well, we need to fix that." He kissed me on the lips, then got out of bed and started to put on his shoes._

 _I sat up, retying my robe belt because I was cold again. "Where are you going?"_

" _I don't have anything for us to eat around here. How does Chinese take-out sound?"_

" _Good, but get it from that place we really liked, not that crappy place across the street."_

 _Angel scowled. "Don't worry, I have no desire to repeat that experience again." He finished putting on his shoes then grabbed his coat. "I'll be back in a little while."_

" _Get fortune cookies too."_

" _You got it," Angel said, kissing me once more before heading to the door. "Oh, and Buffy?"_

" _Yeah?"_

 _Angel pointed to his head. "Right here. Anytime I want to see you naked. All I have to do is close my eyes and picture it." Angel closed his eyes, another smile spreading across his face._

 _I reached for the small pillow on the bed and threw it at him. "Stop picturing me naked and go get me some food!"_

 _I could hear his laughter as he made his way to the elevator._

* * *

 _Every time the table rocked back and forth, Angel and I smiled at each other._

" _I should really get that fixed," Angel said._

" _No, don't. I kind of like it wobbly. I can't believe our second time was on top of a kitchen table."_

" _I'm sorry about that."_

" _Why are you apologizing?"_

" _Our second time shouldn't have been on top of a table. I should have taken you to the bedroom and made love to you properly."_

" _Really? Because I thought it was kind of hot the way you shoved everything off the table. Like you couldn't wait another second to have me. Just like in the movies. Very sexy. That's every girl's fantasy, you know."_

 _Angel laughed. "Well when you put it that way…"_

" _Hey, read your fortune," I said, pointing to the cookie in his hand._

 _Angel cracked open the cookie and took out the fortune._

" _What's it say?"_

"' _You are talented in many ways.' Hmm, that's not a bad one."_

" _No, you read it wrong."_

 _Angel looked at me in confusion. "What do you mean?"_

" _Don't you remember how I taught you to read them?"_

 _Angel's eyes lit up in realization. "Oh! Right. I forgot."_

" _Read it again."_

" _You are talented in many ways…in bed."_

" _Yes, you certainly are." I flashed Angel what I hoped was a seductive grin across the table._

" _I won't argue with that," Angel said, then tossed the other cookie toward me. "Okay, your turn."_

 _I quickly unwrapped it and cracked the cookie open, reading the fortune to myself before reading it aloud._

" _Well? What does it say?"_

 _I cleared my throat and begin. "A pleasant surprise awaits you…in bed." I looked up at Angel and gave him a curious glance. "A pleasant surprise, huh? Got something special planned for me tonight?"  
_

 _Angel grinned. "Well you know, I do have many talents…in bed."_

* * *

" _Buffy?"_

I hear a man's voice, and for a moment, I think…

"Angel?" I open my eyes and return back to reality.

 _Not Angel._

Doyle frowns. "Sorry, just me. You've been down here for a while. Thought I'd come down to check on you."

"I fell asleep, something I've been doing a lot of since I became pregnant." I sit up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "What time is it?"

"A little after three."

"Oh wow. I didn't think I'd sleep that long."

Doyle sits down at the edge of the bed, picking up the sketch book. "Whoa, what do we have here?"

"Angel's sketch book."

Doyle flips through it, admiring all of the drawings. "Wow! Wish I had me some talent like that!"

I feel a little foot kicking me, and I must have made a sound because Doyle looks up from the sketch book, giving me a concerned look. "You alright?"

"I'm fine. The baby's just pushing on my bladder is all." I get up from the bed and head in the direction of the bathroom. "Just another joy of pregnancy!"

Doyle smiles as I leave the room.

When I finish up, I find Doyle in the living room with a few boxes, packing up the books on the shelf. A sudden sadness overcomes me as I watch those dusty volumes land with a thud on top of each other. Angel never liked his books to be packed up. He always liked them displayed, proud of his collection.

"The guy's got enough books, doesn't he?" Doyle says when he sees me.

I run my fingers against the spines of the books on another shelf. "He loved to read. What are you going to do with these?"

"I was going to ask if you wanted to keep them."

"Are you sure?"

"You certainly need them more than I do. Take them."

"Okay."

I help Doyle pack the rest of the books, and then we head into the kitchen. There were a few utensils, plates, and silverware neither of us wanted to have.

"Give them to charity," I decide. "This is all easy to replace anyway."

Doyle nods, taping up the cardboard box full of kitchenware. He then places it on the rickety table, making it wobble.

"We should throw this out," Doyle says, rocking the table with his hand. "Damn thing hasn't been level for months."

"No, don't throw it out."

Doyle raises his eyebrows at me. "You want this thing?"

I give him a nod. "Yeah, I sort of do. Don't ask why."

Doyle gives me a look, and I don't know if suspects what broke this table or not. But then he shrugs and gives me a smile. "Alright. I'll see if I can strap it to the top of your jeep."

"So, what are you and Cordelia going to do now that you're not going to run _Angel Investigations_ anymore?"

Doyle places another box on the table for me to tape up. "Was thinking of getting back into teaching, actually. There's a third grade teacher at the school I used to work at about to go on maternity leave, and rumor has it that once she leaves, she's not going to want to come back. I think I'll be a shoo-in for her job. Or at least as a substitute for a while."

"Well that sounds nice. And Cordelia?"

Doyle smiles. "She's still dreaming of the big screen. Any Hollywood producer who doesn't want that pretty face for their movie is a fool!"

"Speak of the devil," I say as I see Cordelia coming out of the elevator.

"Okay, the office is packed up, so I thought you guys could use some help down here."

"We can take these to charity," Doyle says, placing another box on the table. "Just a bunch of kitchen stuff."

A shadow comes across Cordelia's face. "Angel liked to cook for us, even before he became human. I always thought that was so funny."

"I miss that too," I tell her.

We spend the next hour packing up the rest of Angel's things: clothes from the closet, items in the bathrooms, his stockpile of weapons. We donate or throw away anything that can be easily replaced, and I take Angel's clothes. I like to sleep in his shirts. Sometimes it's the only thing that I find comforting at night. Not to mention they are the only things that fit me these days.

As we head for the elevator one last time, Cordelia glances around at the apartment, looking empty with its bare shelves and clean cabinets. "This place looks so…sad now."

"Yeah," I agree. "It looks as sad as I feel."

* * *

Rain falls, making our training more difficult. But in a way, it's a good thing. We have to be prepared to fight in all kinds of conditions.

Hornsby and I spar together, and he's pretty good. Of course, I prefer Buffy as a sparring partner. Out of all of them, he and Roman seem to excel the most. Walker and Grayer, while not at the level of the others, are slowly making progress. Carter seems pretty skilled with his axe. Brutus seems to prefer his own brand of fighting, but his strength makes up for his lack of skill.

When the men all look tired and worn out, and soaking wet to boot, I decide to call it a day. Thinking about Buffy distracts me anyway.

"You alright?" Walker asks me, picking up on my mood. He's the most intuitive of the group.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just feeling a little homesick. Sparring reminds me of my girlfriend. We'd do this sort of thing all the time."

"I'm sorry about that. I can't imagine how it must feel to be away from the ones you love. I don't know how I'd manage if I didn't have my Alicia and our little girls to go home to. But if I may be selfish, I'm grateful that you're here. No one else could teach us the fighting skills that you excel in. With your help, we can defeat the Invaders, and then you'll be able to return home."

"I hope so. I really hope so."

* * *

After a trip to goodwill to donate the things we didn't wish to keep, we stop by a nearby Italian restaurant for dinner.

Towards the end of the meal, Cordelia and I step away to the ladies' room, and when we return to the table, Doyle gives us a smile.

"Ladies, dessert is served," he says, indicating the three chocolate cakes on the table.

"Doyle, I told you I didn't want any dessert!" Cordelia complains as she sits down. "I have an audition on Monday and the camera adds ten pounds!"

Doyle waves her complaint off. "Even if you gained ten pounds you'd still be beautiful." Doyle then glances across the table at me. "You should eat up too. You're eating for two, you know."

Doyle glances at the both of us, not taking a bite. "Oh come on! Am I the only one here having dessert?"

I pick up my fork and give Doyle a half-smile. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking about Angel. He always used to get the chocolate cake when we would eat here. Well, that or the tiramisu. He liked that too." I look up, seeing both Cordelia and Doyle giving me a pitiful look. "I'm sorry. I know you guys must be so tired of me going on and on about Angel."

"It's okay, Buffy," Cordelia says. "We miss Angel too."

"I just wish there was someone I could talk to, someone who could help me figure out what I need to do. I don't know how to live life without Angel."

Doyle studies me for a moment, deep in thought perhaps, then gives me a smile. "I know a guy that might be able to help you with that."

Cordelia smiles. "Doyle always 'knows a guy'."

Doyle turned to Cordelia, pointing his fork at her. "You know him too, Princess. Green skin, red horns, runs a karaoke bar?"

"Oh yeah! Lorne! Hey, we should go see him. It's been a while."

"Green skin and red horns?"

"He's a demon," Doyle says. "A good one," he quickly amends. "Runs a karaoke bar called _Caritas_. He reads destinies and people's auras. May not give you all the answers you're looking for but it's worth a shot, eh?"

"He runs a…demon karaoke bar?"

"Oh everyone's welcome," Cordelia says. "Not just demons. And there's a 'no violence' rule there."

"Like Willy's, huh?"

"Yeah, except Lorne's not a snitch and his outfits are a bit more flamboyant," Cordelia says with a laugh.

"Okay. Well whoever this 'Lorne' is, take me to him."

* * *

I half expect the joint to clear out when I walk into the bar. Usually at Willy's, that's how it goes. Demons don't want to have a drink with someone who might kill them later on that night.

But at _Caritas_ , no one even bats an eye at me. I'm almost a little offended. Maybe being pregnant has made me lose my edge. Either that or they just don't know or care who I am.

"Cordy! Doyle!"

From behind the bar, a giant green demon, Lorne presumably, walks around to say hello to us. Cordelia was right about the outfit. I've never seen that shade of hot pink on a male, demon or human, but he also has a genuine, warm smile, and it makes me feel at ease.

"Hi, Lorne," Cordelia says.

"How are ya?" Doyle asks.

"Doing well, can't complain. Long time, no see!"

"Sorry about that," Cordelia apologizes. "Doyle's been busy looking for a teaching job and I've sort of been busy with auditions. I've got one on Monday." Cordelia crosses her fingers.

"I wish you luck, cupcake!" Lorne glances in my direction, obviously seeing I'm with the group, and gives me a smile. "And who is this lovely friend of yours?"

"This is our friend Buffy," Cordelia answers. "I knew her back home in Sunnydale."

"Hi, nice to meet you, Lorne," I say, extending my hand to shake his large, scaly one.

Lorne smiles at me. "So this is Angel's 'Buffy'?"

"You knew Angel?"

"Yeah, sure, I knew him. Never could get the guy to sing though," he adds with a laugh.

"Doyle says that you read people?"

"It's what I do."

"Do you think you could do a reading for me?"

Lorne gives me a warm smile. "Sure, I can do a reading for you. But you'll have to sing for me first."

" _Sing_? Wait a second." I turn to Doyle. "You said he would read my aura. You never said anything about me having to _sing_!"

Doyle smiles at me sheepishly. "Sorry. Guess I forgot to mention that part."

I turn to Lorne. "I don't really have to sing, do I? Because I'm not much of singer…"

"Sorry, I can't do a reading if you don't sing for me. That's how it works."

On the stage, a short Asian man is belting out some '80s song in his heavily-accented English. "Shouldn't you be reading for him right now?"

Lorne glances at the man and waves him off. "Nah, he's a regular. He just sings karaoke for fun. So, what do you want to sing, doll face?"

I think for a moment, and only one song comes to mind. It's kind of embarrassing though. "You'll laugh."

"There's no judgment here at _Caritas_. Tell me what you want to sing and I'll make it happen. I have just about everything."

I take a deep breath, then tell him. "Do you have _Wind Beneath My Wings_?"

* * *

My palms are sweaty as I stand just offstage while Lorne walks into the spotlight and takes the mike. "Alright, folks, give it up for the musical stylings of Hiroshi!"

Hiroshi bows several times before stepping off the stage.

"Alright, we've got a newcomer at _Caritas_ tonight. She's from Sunnydale, California, and she said she would like to dedicate this song to the man she loves. Let's give a round of applause for Buffy!"

The few patrons in the bar clap their hands as I take the stage and the mike.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

The music starts to play, and I glance at the teleprompter, waiting for the words to appear on the screen, then sing…

* * *

We arrive home weary from training. Althea walks out of the kitchen when she hears us.

"There you are. I was beginning to get worried."

"Sorry, darling," Roman says, walking over to his wife and greeting her with a kiss. "Angel's a slave-driver." Roman winks at me.

"Well the children have already eaten," she explains. "But I can heat up a bowl of soup for you if you're hungry for dinner."

"That would be wonderful, darling. As soon as we get out of these soaking wet clothes."

"I'll second that," I add.

After changing into something drier, we head to the dining area. We offer to help in the kitchen, but Althea insists we sit down and rest.

"You two look a little worn for wear."

"Just working hard," I tell her.

"How's training going?" She glances at me before turning back to the pot on the stove.

"Not bad. I think these guys are finally getting the hang of it." I pat Roman on the back in a teasing manner.

"Angel has been most helpful. However, there's still progress to be made. We need to recruit more people."

"That may be difficult," Althea says as she puts two bowls on the table. "Everyone in the district is scared. If even one of the Watchmen get wind of a rebellion…" She leaves the sentence unfinished as she scoops some soup into our bowls.

"Then we'll just have to be very convincing," I tell her.

* * *

There's a lot of hooting and hollering toward the back of the bar when I finish my number. I realize it's Cordelia and Doyle. Doyle holds up his beer in salute.

"Way to go, Buffy!" he shouts out.

Lorne rushes to the stage, taking the mike from me. "Ah, yes! _Wind Beneath My Wings_ , a karaoke classic! Not a dry eye in the house! Alright, you folks enjoy some drinks and we'll take a little break while I go talk to Buffy."

I follow Lorne off the stage and we sit down at a table in the back, somewhat secluded from the rest of the bar.

"So? What'd you see?"

Lorne frowns, giving me a sympathetic look. "I see a lot of sadness surrounding you, and I see a lot of pain."

"That sounds about right."

"But you know what else I see?" A slow smile spreads across Lorne's face. "I see a light within you. It's small, and it's dim, the darkness within you trying to overwhelm it, but it's there, still shining." Lorne reaches across the table and takes my small hands into his large green ones. "Listen, doll face, you can't let that light within you go out."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you can't give up hope. You can't let the sadness and despair overwhelm you. You have to have faith that things will turn out alright in the end."

"Does that mean Angel will come home? Did you see him in my future?"

Lorne shakes his head. "Afraid it doesn't quite work like that. I can't read for anyone else. I can only see what's ahead for you. The way I see it, you're about to hit a fork in the road, sugar, and you've got a choice to make. You can take the dark road, and let the grief and sadness and depression bring you down, or you can take the road full of hope and faith and light, and keep the flame inside you going strong. I suggest you take the second path, especially with that little one of yours." He glances at my bump. "He's going to need his mother."

"You can tell it's a boy?"

Lorne nods and smiles. "I can, and I could read him too."

"But wait, you just said you couldn't read for anyone else other than me. And he didn't sing for you."

"True, I did just say that, didn't I?" Lorne laughs. "Well, here's the one exception. He's unborn, making him still a part of you, and you were doing the singing for the both of you."

"So what did you see about him?"

"He's going to need you to be there for him. Oh sure, he'll have plenty of people who love and care for him, but what he'll really need is his mother. And if you let that light go out, you can't be there for him. Simple as that."

"Thank you, Lorne. That wasn't exactly the reading I was expecting but it helps just the same."

"You're welcome, sugar. You know, I hope Angel comes back too. I think he's a real good guy. He took care of the problem I had in the bar several months back. That's how I met him."

"Yeah, I remember Angel mentioning something about a karaoke bar once."

"You know how I allow no violence here?"

"Yeah."

"Well one day, there was violence, so I gave Angel a call. I have to admit, I was a little skeptical when I saw that design on his business card."

"Cordelia picked that out."

"That must explain it. Didn't quite look like Angel's style. Anyway, Angel hooked me up with a trio of lovely ladies that cast a spell on this place. Now _no one_ fights at _Caritas_."

"Angel always liked to help people."

"Yeah, I sensed that about him, and he didn't even have to sing for me to know that."

"Well, thanks again for your help." I start to stand up, but Lorne places a hand on my arm.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"For what it's worth, I think Angel will come back."

"You do?"

"Oh yeah. You should have heard the way he talked about you. Any man who loves a woman that much? Well, I'd say he'd move heaven and earth just to get back home to you."

It makes me smile to hear Lorne say this, and my hopes buoy. I hope Lorne is right.

* * *

Later that evening, my jeep is packed and ready to go, and Doyle and Cordelia walk me to the car.

"You know, Buffy, you don't have to rush off now," Cordelia says. "You can sleep at my apartment if you want and leave in the morning."

"Thanks, but that's okay. I really better get back home. Since I became pregnant, my mom watches me like a hawk. She'll be expecting me in about two hours I'm sure."

"Are you sure you don't want that trunk of Angel's weapons?" Doyle asks.

"I'm sure. You keep them. You never know when you might need a good weapon. And besides, I've got plenty at home anyway."

Doyle nods and wraps his arms around me, giving me a hug. "Goodbye, Buffy."

"Bye, Doyle. Thanks for everything."

"Anytime."

Next to him, Cordelia gives me a smile and then hugs me as well. It's strange to think that we've actually grown closer since she moved away and that we may actually be becoming friends now.

"Bye, Buffy," she says softly.

"Bye, Cordelia."

Before Cordelia pulls away, the baby kicks me sharply, and Cordelia looks at me wide-eyed. "Oh my god, was that the baby kicking?"

I laugh. "Yeah, it was. Liam says goodbye too."

"Liam? It's a boy?"

I nod. "Yeah, it's a boy. And I've been calling him Liam. I haven't told anyone yet though, about the name I mean."

"I love the name," Doyle says with a grin. "It's a good strong Irish name!"

I give him a smile. "I knew you would approve. Well, I better…" I nod toward the jeep.

Once inside, Cordelia and Doyle stand at the window while I'll attempt to buckle my seatbelt over my belly.

"You still have my email address, right?" Cordelia asks.

"Yes, I do."

"Well keep in touch. Send us pictures of the baby, okay?"

"I will."

"And, Buffy?" Doyle says.

"Yeah?"

"If you need anything, anything at all, you can give us a call. Alright?"

"Thank you, Doyle."

I start the car and wait for them to step back onto the curb.

"See you guys."

They wave goodbye, and I maneuver out of the parking space, luckily managing not to hit the car parked next to me, and drive off.


	9. Labor Coach

**CHAPTER 9- LABOR COACH**

-October 2000-

I make room in my closet for Angel's clothes. His long dark shirts hang next to clothes too small for me to wear now. I leave everything that can't be put on a hanger in the boxes, but place them in my closet for safekeeping.

The rickety table from his apartment fits nicely in the corner of the basement, and makes for a good place to store Angel's boxes of books.

But a few days later, the basement floods from a burst pipe, and I decide to bring the boxes upstairs. The books are okay fortunately, saved by not being stored on the floor, but I'm not going to take any chances. I decide to store them in my closet along with the clothes.

One evening, I'm curious enough to look through them.

Reaching into the back of the closet, I drag out one of the boxes and sit on the floor, ripping the packing tape which held the lid closed. The musty smell of the old books hits me as I peer inside. I pick up one of the volumes and trace my finger along the spine.

In my mind, I can see Angel so clearly. Often he would lay on the bed, relaxed, yet an intense look of concentration on his face as he read, flipping the pages delicately so that the pages would not wrinkle. Sometimes I couldn't even get his attention unless I started nibbling on his ear. I asked him one time why he read so much about all the various demons in the world. He had smiled at me, then said he always liked to be prepared. He said you never knew what you might encounter next.

I wonder if he ever read about the dimension hoppers.

Getting an idea, I began to take all of the books out, searching for the one I had remembered seeing Doyle read. It had been a gray book, but that was all I knew. I didn't find it in the box I was searching, so I dragged out the other box of books.

It was there in that second box. Usually I hated research, but if there was some way to bring Angel back, I was going to find it. I read all about the dimension hoppers from the small passage in the book. They were definitely bad news, but I already knew that. What I didn't know is where they came from, and if I could only find out where that was from, then maybe, just maybe, I'd know where that portal took Angel.

Tossing the book aside, I nearly give up, but something keeps niggling at the back of my brain. There had to be something more about the dimension hoppers, or maybe a book on different dimensions. If I could just narrow the search down a little, it would make this process a whole lot easier.

The next night, and every night after that, I pick a book to read before bed. Or rather, peruse. I don't read it all, just enough to glean the information from it to know if it's important or not.

And finally, after weeks of researching, I find it: a book about worlds dimension hoppers had thought to have taken over. My hopes buoy and a plan begins to form in my mind. It was very possible that Angel was in one of those worlds.

* * *

"Oh good, you guys are all here."

I walk into the Magic Box, seeing the gang assembled around the table as Giles stands nearby, wiping his glasses. They're researching something, but I'm not sure what. I've been sort of out of the loop since Buffybot took over for me.

"Hey, Buffy," Willow says. "What's up?"

"This was one of Angel's books, and I think I've narrowed down a few dimensions Angel might be! I just need your help. We need to open a portal."

"Buff…" Xander starts.

"Look, I know I'm not exactly one for research, but when it's important. Giles, can you take a look at it?" I hold the book out to him, but Giles doesn't immediately answer, or take the book. And as the room grows eerily quiet, I see all eyes are on me. "Okay, what's with the silent treatment and weird looks?"

"Buffy, sit down," Giles says, pulling out a chair for me. "We've been meaning to talk to you."

I pull the chair out a little more to fit my ginormous pregnant stomach and glance at everyone, officially worried. "Oh god, what's wrong? Did something bad happen?"

"No, Buffy, nothing bad happened," Willow says. "It's just that we've been talking and…oh, Giles, I can't tell her."

I look to Giles, still worried despite Willow's reassurance. "Tell me what?"

"Buffy, we've had a discussion and we all agree. We think it's time for you to give up on the idea of bringing Angel home."

" _What?_ You can't be serious! Am I hearing you right?"

"Don't be mad, Buffy!" Willow says. "It's not that we don't want to help you, it's just that we've done pretty much everything we can do."

"So you're just going to give up? Just like that? Angel could be trapped in some hell dimension for all we know! If the tables were turned and it was me, you wouldn't be giving up this easily! Would you?"

No one speaks, and everyone just stares down at the table, not making eye-contact with me.

"Oh my god. None of you believe he's coming back, do you?"

"I don't believe it's possible to bring him back, Buffy," Giles says, his tone all serious.

"No, that's not what this is about. You all just don't care anymore! Even after everything Angel's done to help you! You just still can't forgive him for the time he was Angelus, can you?"

"Well I never met Angelus," Anya says. "But even I have to agree with them. I think it's time for you to give it up."

"What about you, Oz? You're awfully quiet over there. What do you have to say about all this?"

"I think you need to find a way to get some closure."

"So that's it? None of you are going to help me anymore?"

"Buffy, we're not saying any of this to hurt you," Giles says. "We're merely concerned about you. This idea of bringing Angel home is becoming an unhealthy obsession, and we all would like to see you move on and learn to live life without Angel and focus on other things, more important things. Like your son, and your slayer duties."

"But you can't not help me! Will, I can't do any spells without your help! And Giles, you're research guy! And Anya, you know more about the demon community than anyone! And after everything I've done for all of you? You don't want to help me? I don't understand!"

"It's simple to understand, Buff," Xander says. "Spells and research aren't going to bring Angel back, because he's not _coming back_. Look, I'm sorry to tell you, but it's more than likely that Angel is dead."

"Angel is _not_ _dead_!" I scream at him before bolting out of the shop.

"Why would you say that, Xander?" I hear Willow say as I slam the door behind me.

* * *

I ignore everyone for three whole days.

Willow called several times, but I refused to take her calls, and instead, watched my mom reluctantly tell her that I didn't feel up to talking now.

Xander stopped by once on his lunch break, but I slammed the door in his face.

Even Giles stopped by out of concern, but I didn't even go downstairs to see him.

Though everyone had been great in the beginning, a part of me always knew that they would eventually give up on Angel. But I couldn't. How could I? How could I just give up on bringing Angel home when I loved him so much, when I had his child growing inside of me?

I clutch one of my favorite pictures of Angel and cry in my pillow, wishing I could just fall asleep and wake up with everything being back to normal. I'm thinking of him when I hear a knock on the door. I ignore it. Mom usually barges in anyway.

"Buff?"

It's not Mom.

I look to the door, seeing Xander poking his head in the doorway as he lets himself in. "Your mom let me in."

I turn away from him, hugging my pillow. "I wish she didn't. Go away, Xander. I just want to be alone right now."

"No, not until you hear what I came to say."

He sits on the edge of my bed. I still don't look at him.

"I can be a really insensitive jerk sometimes."

"Ya think?"

"Listen, what I said back at the Magic Box the other day? I should haven't have said that. What I was trying to say just sort of came out wrong. But regardless, I should haven't said it. I didn't mean to hurt you, and I'm sorry."

I stare at a spot on my wall and feel tears brimming in my eyes.

"Buff? Please, say something."

I don't say anything, and instead, I start to cry.

"Hey." Xander comes around to the other side of the bed and reaches for me, pulling me to his shoulder as the tears stream down my face.

"I miss him so much, Xander," I say, my voice a little muffled as I sob against his shirt.

"I know. I know you do. We never meant to hurt you, Buffy. We know you don't want to give up on Angel. We just don't know how to help you anymore."

I pull away from his embrace, wiping my face with the back of my hand.

"Please don't be mad at us, Buffy. We love you, and we're just worried about you."

"I'll never give up on bringing Angel back. Is it wrong for me to believe that Angel is still alive? Is it so wrong to hope that one day, my son will know his father?"

"No, there's nothing wrong at all about that."

"But you still don't want to help me."

"Buff, I can't bring Angel back. Look, I'll be the first to admit, I'm not exactly the smartest member of the group. Willow and Giles are the brains, you know? And if they can't figure this out, then I sure as hell can't either. But I _do_ want to help you. If there's anything I actually could help you with, you know I would."

I stare at him for a moment, biting my lip. Even though I don't agree with them, I'm tired of being mad at my friends.

"Come back to the Magic Box, will you?" Xander asks, a smile tugging at his lips. "We miss you there."

"Xander?"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe there is something you could help me with."

"Sure, name it."

I hesitate for a moment, then ask him. "I need a labor coach."

I can see the panic in Xander's face for just a moment before he then looks at me in confusion. "I-I'm not exactly sure what a labor coach is."

On my nightstand, I look underneath some papers for the brochure I'd picked up earlier at the hospital and hand it to him. "The hospital has these birthing classes, and I sort of wanted to go. But the only problem is that I don't exactly have a partner. And I don't want to go if I have to sit around a bunch of happy couples excited about their baby when I'm by myself, pregnant and alone."

I feel the tears welling in my eyes again, and though I try to stop them, it's useless. There's no hiding your emotions when you're pregnant.

"Sure, Buff, I'll go with you."

I wipe the tear rolling down my cheek with the back of my hand. "Really? You'll go with me?"

"Yeah, of course. But, are you sure you don't want to ask Will to do this? I don't know if I'm cut out for this sort of thing."

"Will's done enough to help me already. And she has class Thursday evenings anyway and she's so busy with her coursework. I don't want to keep asking her to help me out with stuff."

"Well, I still don't know exactly what a labor coach is, but if you want me to do it, I'll do it. Or I'll try to anyway."

"Thank you, Xander." I throw my arms around him and hug him tight.

* * *

Xander and I arrive at the hospital a little early for the class, but already there are several couples there. The room is set up with some pillows in a circle on a carpeted floor, and Xander and I take a seat. I still feel a little out of place surrounded by all of these expecting couples, despite the fact that I'm not alone, but I try not to let it bother me.

"Hi, I'm Stacy!" the red-haired woman sitting beside us says. "And this is my husband Greg." She points to the man sitting behind her.

Apparently she's a talker.

"Hi. I'm Buffy. And this is Xander."

"There's quite a turnout here, huh? I didn't realize there were so many expectant mothers in Sunnydale." Stacy leans forward, as if she's about to tell me some big secret. "I think there's something in the water."

I don't respond. I don't really feel like talking.

But Stacy is persistent, like that annoying passenger on a plane that won't shut up when you just want to close your eyes and get some sleep.

"So when are you due?" she asks me.

"Sometime in January."

"We're due at the end of December, but we're hoping for a New Year's baby. Keep your fingers crossed."

I glance across the room, noting the posters of fetal development on the wall, and I wonder what stage my baby's at right now.

"Do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?"

I turn back to Stacy. "A boy."

"Us too! Greg and I have wanted this for so long! We've had the nursery set up for what, over a year?" She turns to Greg.

"About a year, yes," he says in agreement.

"We were beginning to worry it would never happen for us, but finally…" Stacy places both hands on the sides of her belly. "…little Phillip was conceived."

Oh god, spare me the details. Please.

"You two look a little young to be having a baby already. Are you high school sweethearts or something?"

"Um…"

"Actually, I'm not the father," Xander says, speaking up for the first time. "I'm just a friend. Here for moral support."

"Oh, I see. So you're a single mother then?"

Stacy takes my silence for a yes.

"Wow, that must be difficult. Raising a child all by yourself?" She looks behind her, practically nuzzling her husband's nose. "I don't know how I would do this without my Greg." She turns back to me, a curious look on her face. "So where's the father anyway?"

"That's really none of your damn business," I snap at her, my claws ready to come out.

Stacy stares at me for a moment with her jaw dropped, properly put in her place, then turns to the couple sitting on their other side. "Hi there, I'm Stacy!"

 _I have to get out of here._

I get up from the floor and walk out of the room, ignoring the glances from the other couples in the room and Xander calling after me.

Outside in the hallway, there's a row of chairs lined up against the wall, and I sit down in one of them. Xander follows me and sits down beside me.

He gives me a worried look. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I can't do this!" I don't mean for my voice to sound so whiny, but my emotions have been all over the place. I feel like all I do is cry lately.

Xander puts his hand over mine. "Hey, you don't have to do this. Women have been giving birth since the beginning of time. You don't need a class to tell you what to do."

I shake my head. "No, not the class. I can't do _this_!" I indicate my mammoth stomach and hope he gets the clue.

"Uh…Buff, I'm afraid to tell you this, but I think it's a little too late to make that decision."

"No, I don't mean _that_! I'm saying I can't do this without Angel. I don't know how to be a mom, let alone a single mom!"

"Yeah, that egg project in health class prepared us for nothing."

Xander smiles, and I know he's attempting to use humor to make me laugh, but I'm just too upset to find anything funny.

Xander then turns serious, holding on to my hand a little tighter. "Hey, I'm sure no new parent knows how to do this. Kids don't come with instruction manuals. But it's going to be okay. Angel may not be here, but I promise you you're not in this alone, no matter what that Stacy woman says. You know I'm here for you, right? And your mom, and Willow, Giles, Oz. Hey, even Anya might pitch in to babysit if you pay her enough. Listen, you're going to be an amazing mom. I mean, you save the world on what, a weekly basis? This kid is going to be the luckiest kid in the world to have you for a mother."

Xander finally gets a smile out of me, and I dab the tears away from my eyes with the tissue I carry around in my pocket. "I don't like Stacy and Greg. They're annoyingly happy together."

Xander laughs. "I don't like them too much either. What do you say we go back in there and _not_ sit beside them?"

I nod, and Xander helps me up from the chair. We go back to the classroom, and I notice another couple has already taken our spot so we don't have to sit beside them anyway.

"It's going to be okay," Xander says, reassuring me as he grips my hand a little tighter.

I don't know if I'll ever be okay, but maybe, just maybe I'll be able to get through this.

* * *

A/N: I hope I don't get a bunch of angry comments about Xander having such a big role in this chapter. Believe me, I know so many of you hate him. I even hate him sometimes (but not all the time). Yes, he can be a jerk. Yes, he can be annoying. And yes, he often times puts his foot into his mouth. But...he's still Buffy's friend. Despite his flaws, he's always been very protective and loyal to Buffy. I thought perhaps I'd at least have Xander do something that helps redeem himself. Especially his speech to Buffy at the end there. Buffy really needed to hear that.

Until 10...


	10. Thanksgiving

**CHAPTER 10 – THANKSGIVING**

-November 2000-

I always called it the Thanksgiving Miracle. Who would have known that the weekend after last Thanksgiving would have been the best weekend of my life? If someone had told me Angel would become human before that weekend, I would have told them they were crazy, but they would have been right.

I had so many plans on how I would spend this day, a day that I had planned to celebrate like an anniversary. I didn't want a big Thanksgiving like I tried to do last year. I would have been perfectly content to just spend some time alone with Angel.

Things, of course, didn't go how I planned.

Mom hangs up the phone and breezes into the kitchen. "That was your Aunt Arlene on the phone. She invited us for Thanksgiving again. I told her I would think about it. Why don't we go together?"

I look up from the cookie I'm attempting to decorate. "I don't really feel up to traveling. But you go. Have fun with your sister."

"Oh, honey, I'm not going to leave you here by yourself."

"Mom, I'll be fine. I was fine last year."

"That was different. You weren't…"

"Pregnant?"

"Maybe traveling's not such a good idea right now. You know what, I'll call Arlene later and tell her not to expect us this year. In fact, I think we should have our own little Thanksgiving here. And we could invite your friends too if you'd like."

"Willow hates Thanksgiving."

"Oh. That's…strange. Well, we could invite Giles."

"He's British. He seemed reluctant to participate last year. He doesn't get our American traditions."

"Well what about Xander?"

"Xander will come. He likes to eat. But, Mom, I really don't want to have a big dinner this year. Can't we just order a turkey dinner plate from somewhere?"

I can see the frown forming on her face. "Are you sure, Buffy? It might be nice to be around some friends, especially this time of year."

I stand up from the barstool and put down the container of sprinkles. "If it's all the same, Mom, I'd rather just be alone."

Not wanting to engage in anymore Thanksgiving conversation, I left and went to my bedroom.

* * *

Outside, the Astorian air feels crisp and smells like firewood burning. I've taken up jogging lately. It's not quite as exciting as the martial arts, but it's good cardio and keeps me in shape. Plus, it's something to do. Anything to take my mind off of how much I miss Buffy all the time.

I feel energized by the time I arrive back to the house. There's voices coming from the kitchen and something delicious is cooking.

"Something smells good," I say as I walk into the kitchen. I find Althea peeking into the oven with Andromeda and Serena.

"Angel, we're helping with the dinner!" Andromeda says.

"I get to stir!" Serena says proudly, holding up a large spoon.

"Must be some special meal if your mother lets you stay home from school and help prepare it."

Andromeda laughs. "We don't have school today, silly! It's Thanksgiving!"

It takes a moment for her words to register. _Thanksgiving?_

 _I've been human for a year._

Andromeda stares at me, giving me a confused look when I don't respond. "Don't you have Thanksgiving, Angel?"

"Yeah. I just didn't know you had that holiday here as well."

"We adopted it," Althea says, smiling at me. "I guess Roman forgot to tell you."

"Guilty," Roman says when he hears his name. "We've been so busy lately."

"Roman, will you go check on the firewood? I think we need some more."

"Sure." He kisses his wife and heads out the back door.

Althea turns back to her pot on the stove but continues to talk to me. "We liked the idea of having a day to be with friends and family, to think about all the things we're thankful for."

"Yeah, I was looking forward to that. I never really got to have a big Thanksgiving with family. It wasn't a holiday in the country I grew up in. And for the longest time, I had no family. But things changed for me when I met Buffy. This Thanksgiving would have really been special. I'm sure she was looking forward to it as much as I was."

Althea glances at me with sympathy in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Angel. I know you must miss everyone back at home."

"It's okay. If I can't spend this day with the people back at home, at least I get to spend it with you all."

"Here, Serena," Althea says, handing her daughter a small bowl. "Take this to the table. Be careful not to spill it."

"You think about your girlfriend a lot, don't you?" Andromeda asks me.

"Yeah. Almost every second of every day. I miss her a lot."

"Maybe Angel would like to help us with dinner?" Althea suggests. "Angel, do you cook?"

That gets a smile out of me. "Oh yeah, I can definitely cook. But first…" I look down at my sweaty shirt and pants. "I think I'll take a shower."

* * *

" _Oh my god! What happened?" Cordelia rushed towards us as Doyle and I helped Angel through the doorway._

" _I'm fine," Angel insisted as he moved to sit on the desk._

 _I glared at Angel. "You're not fine, Angel! You almost got killed!"_

" _What happened?" Cordelia asked again. "Was it that Mohra demon? Did you guys find it?"_

 _Doyle nodded. "It's dead, but it almost killed Angel first."_

" _I'll go get the first aid kit." Cordelia left to go retrieve it._

" _Please don't be mad at me, Buffy," Angel pleaded with me._

" _Why didn't you guys wake me up? I could have helped! I'm not the slayer for nothing, you know! Instead I had to find out from *Cordelia* where you went?"_

" _Here's the first aid kit." Cordelia placed it on the desk._

" _I tried to get Angel to bring you," Doyle said._

 _I rifled through the contents of the first aid kit, grabbing some antiseptic wipes and bandages. "Angel, why didn't you wake me? I was worried about you."_

" _Because, you looked so peaceful," Angel admitted. He then winced as the alcohol on the wipe made one of his cuts sting. "After the perfect day we've had, I didn't want it to end on a sour note. I just wanted to let you rest and not worry you about it."_

" _So you went up against that thing by yourself?"_

 _Angel shrugged. "I thought I could take it."_

" _Yeah, but you're human now!" Doyle said. "You don't have the strength like you had as a vampire."_

" _I know, but that doesn't mean I can't fight. I'm trained in several of the martial arts. I just need to brush up on my fighting skills."_

" _But, Angel," I said to him, placing my hands around his face. "You almost died tonight."_

" _Okay, so I have a lot of brushing up to do. But this was the first time I fought as a human in a couple hundred years, so the lack of strength threw me off for a moment. Besides, I couldn't let that thing roam free, could I?"_

 _I smiled at Angel. "You really are stubborn, you know that?"_

" _But you love me anyway."_

" _Just don't do anything stupid again, okay?"_

" _I promise."_

 _I brought Angel's face closer to mine, then placed a kiss on his lips._

" _Okay you two, if you're going to get groiny again, you can go back downstairs," Cordelia said._

 _We broke up from the kiss, and I shot Cordelia a look._

" _Why are there sticky notes everywhere?" Angel asked as he glanced around the office._

" _Oh, well I figured we'd have a little 'going out of business' sale," Cordelia explained. "You know, to compensate for the severance package you never set up for me."  
_

" _Going out of business sale?" Angel asked. "Who said we were going out of business?"_

 _Cordelia shrugged. "Well I assumed we were, what with you being human and all. And especially since you and Buffy are obviously back together."_

" _So wait, you're going to continue Angel Investigations?" I asked._

" _I don't know. I guess I hadn't really thought about what I'm going to do now." Angel then reached for my hand and gave me a smile. "I do know one thing though."_

" _What's that?"_

" _I'm never letting you go again. That's for sure."_

* * *

Despite telling my mom that I didn't want a big Thanksgiving, she invited my friends anyway. Even Willow was a good sport and came, going as far to even help my mother prepare the food. That, and to keep Xander away until it was ready. I think everyone thought if they surrounded me with people I love, it would make me forget how sad I always am.

I tried to put on a happy face, for their sake at least. I tried to smile whenever someone mentioned the baby. But in the end, I just couldn't take it anymore. It was like I was on the outside looking in. Everyone, even Giles, was getting into the spirit of Thanksgiving, laughing over mishaps in the kitchen and ooing and ahhing over all of the delicious smells.

What the hell did I have to be thankful for? The most important person in the world to me was gone. Deciding I'd had enough, I silently left the kitchen and stepped out on the back porch. No one even noticed I was gone.

* * *

"Is it done yet?" Myles asks impatiently as he peers into the oven through the glass.

"Almost," I tell him, though I have to admit, I'm about as impatient as he is.

"It smells good!" he says.

"Thank you for your help, Angel," Althea says as she walks into the kitchen. "Usually the only help I have is the girls."

"Angel says he likes to cook!" Myles tells her. "He likes to cook for his _girlfriend_." He says the last word in a teasing manner.

"You just wait," I tell him, ruffling his bright blue hair. "In a few years, you'll like girls too."

Myles scowls. "Eww, no way! The only girls I like are my sisters and I only like them because I have to!"

"I think it's time to check and see if this bird is ready. Want to help me, Myles?"

"Yeah!"

"Grab that meat thermometer from the counter."

As Myles retrieves the thermometer, I take out the turkey and sit it down on the stove.

"Can I?" Myles asks, holding the thermometer just over the turkey.

"Yeah, go ahead."

Myles inserts it into the meatiest part and I check the temperature.

"Is it ready?"

"Yep, I think so."

"Yes!"

As Althea and Andromeda gather the rest of the food from the kitchen, I grab the turkey. We don't have much food, as is the norm here in Astoria, but all of our guests have brought something from home so there's plenty to go around. I place the turkey at the head of the table which almost immediately brings a crowd to the table as everyone is starving.

The children fight over who gets to sit next to me with Myles and Serena getting the coveted seats on either side of me. Andromeda settles for sitting across from me with Walker's children. I glance at Althea, seeing the grin on her face as both Myles and Serena try to get my attention at the same time.

"You're popular," she says with a laugh.

"It would appear."

A tapping on a glass brings the talking to a halt as Roman stands at the head of the table.

"Today is a very special day. A day in which we spend time with family and friends, and a day to remind us of what we're thankful for. And though we've had some hardships, and will surely face many more to come, we have each other. May we always remember that when times get tough, the support we give each other can get us through anything."

"Here, here," Brutus says.

Roman holds the carving knife up and smiles. "Well, who's hungry?"

* * *

 _We were both exhausted when we came back downstairs. Angel undressed for bed, and I put on his oversized shirt again. As Angel sat down on the bed, he winced briefly, and I knew he was in pain._

" _Are you okay?"_

" _I'm fine. Just a little sore. I should be okay in the morning."_

 _Angel eased himself back under the covers, and I got into bed, curling up next to him, being mindful of the bruise forming on his shoulder._

" _I was so scared tonight, Angel."_

" _I know."_

" _Before when you were a vampire, I never worried about you dying. I mean, that's not true. I worried about you, of course, but you sort of had the immortality thing going for you. But now, now that you're human? It's a little more scary, and more of a possibility."_

 _Angel wrapped his arms around me a little tighter, then kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry I worried you."_

" _I just got you back. We've been apart for so long and…well just the thought of losing you all over again…"_

" _You won't lose me." Angel touched my chin, bringing my face up to look at his. "And I'm not going anywhere."_

" _Promise?"_

 _Angel moved closer to kiss me. "Promise," he whispered against my lips._

* * *

Outside, it's quiet. I sit down on the porch steps and look up at the stars. The sky is clear tonight and there are so many of them. When I was little, I used to make wishes on them. I still do sometimes, though none of them have ever come true.

I spot a movement from out of the corner of my eye. Out of the shadows, a familiar blonde head emerges. "Shouldn't you be inside eating a turkey or something?"

"Dinner hasn't started yet. I just came out here to get some air. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be watching the Buffybot?"

Spike sits down beside me. "I can only take the bot in small doses. I set her off on her own for a while. Don't worry, she always comes back home."

Home. The word hits me from out of nowhere. My emotions have been all over the place with Angel gone and the baby coming, and just that one little word is enough to undo me.

"Whoa. What did I say, Slayer?"

"Nothing, I just…" I sob, trying to compose myself. I cannot believe I am breaking down in front of Spike. "Home. I just want Angel to be home." I quickly wipe my tears with the back of my hand, but it's useless as I feel my eyes watering again.

"He'll come back," Spike tells me.

It feels weird to have Spike tell me it will be alright.

"He's stubborn you know," Spike continues. "Like a stubborn mule. I've known him for a long time, and he doesn't give up easy. Trust me, when he wants something, get out of his way. He makes it happen."

"I just wish that…oh god." A foot kicking me puts a temporary stop to the waterworks. "Oh wow."

"Are you…okay?"

"I just felt the baby kick is all. That was kind of a strong one."

"He'll be a football player, eh?"

"Football?"

"Oh right. You call it _soccer_ ," he says with an exaggerated tone of annoyance.

He manages to bring a slight smile out of me. "I don't know. Maybe."

"What were you saying before?"

"What do you mean?"

"You wish…?"

"Oh. It doesn't matter. It won't come true anyway."

"Maybe it will," Spike said as he rose to his feet. "Well, I better track down the bot. Poor Bingo, marzipan in his pie plate…"

Now I was laughing. "Oh my god. Is she _still_ saying that?"

"Every. Bloody. Time. It gets old really fast. Hurry up and pop that kid out, will ya?"

* * *

"Buffy, there are you!" Mom lights up when she sees me coming back in the kitchen. "We were just about to go looking for you."

"I just had to get some fresh air is all."

"Are you okay?"

I nod. "About as well as I can be anyway."

"Well come on, dinner's ready. Let's go eat. Before Xander helps himself to seconds."

"Oh god, we better get there fast."

* * *

 _Angel and I were tired the next morning, having not gotten much sleep the night before. It was already late when we got back to the apartment after the incident with the Mohra demon. Not to mention the countless times we woke up during the night, aching for each other, making up for lost time. We even started the morning by making love, being mindful of Angel's healing cuts and bruises._

 _Angel's lips hovered over mine, then moved to my neck, kissing my ticklish spot, kissing my scar. I couldn't believe we were about to go for another round when suddenly, Angel rolled off me and back to his side of the bed._

" _What's wrong?"_

 _Angel groaned, and I looked at him, seeing his hands over his face._

" _Angel?"_

 _He then finally looked at me. "Nothing. It's just…I'm human now."_

 _I laughed. "Yeah, and that's a problem why?"_

" _It's not a problem."_

" _Am I wearing you out then, tough guy?" I laughed again._

" _No, that's not it."_

" _So what is it?"_

" _Are you on a birth control pill?"_

" _Oh…right. Oops. I guess birth control was sort of the last thing on our minds."_

" _I've never had to think about it before until now." Angel moved closer to me, taking my hands into his. "It's not that I wouldn't want to someday have children with you. I mean, now that I'm human, I actually could give you that. But I know the timing's all wrong…"_

" _And we just got back together."_

" _And I wouldn't want to force you into something you maybe aren't ready for."_

" _Angel, if I got pregnant, yeah it would be bad timing, but it wouldn't exactly be the worst thing to happen to me. I mean, you'd be there helping me. You'd be willing to go out in the middle of the night to get my ice cream whenever I had a craving. Right?"_

 _Angel laughed. "Of course. I'd do anything for you."_

" _We'll just use condoms next time. But there's no point in running out to get them now. If I'm going to be pregnant, it's probably too late to stop it at this point. I mean, we've been having a lot of sex, you know."_

" _Do you really think you could be pregnant?"_

 _I shook my head. "No, I really doubt it."_

" _Okay. Hey, what time is it?"_

 _I glanced at the clock. "Almost eleven."_

" _Cordelia usually gets donuts every morning."_

" _You think there's any left?"_

" _There might be. Why don't we go upstairs and find out?"_

" _That sounds great. But first, there's something else I want to do."_

" _Yeah, me too." Angel rolled back over me. We laughed as we slipped back under the covers._

* * *

I'm feeling marginally better by the time I get into bed. Not about Angel, of course, but my hopes were restored. Maybe Angel wouldn't be home for our "anniversary", but he would be home. I just had to be patient. I had to keep believing that.

I turn off the lamp and sink down into the covers. My enormous belly sticks out like sore thumb. Sometimes it makes me feel fat, but I always forget about that whenever I feel Liam kicking inside of me, this little miracle that Angel and I made together.

* * *

A/N: Just so there's no confusion about the timing of things, I want to make it clear that the flashback is _not_ when Liam was conceived. That happened later. But it did get the conversation about kids started. ;)

Until 11!


	11. Christmas

**CHAPTER 11 - CHRISTMAS**

 _Buffy's cheeks glowed with happiness as we stepped out into the chilly December air, my arms laden with shopping bags from just about every shop on this street._

" _Can you take this one too?" Buffy asked, handing me yet another one._

" _If I had a third arm maybe," I joked, but managed to grab the bag anyway._

" _Thank you, honey."_

" _That's what boyfriends are for, right?"_

" _I've taught you so well," Buffy said with a smile._

" _So is there going to be anything left in the stores after we finish?"_

 _Buffy stopped when we came to the end of the sidewalk and smiled at me. "I know it's a lot, but I'm just so happy this Christmas. I want everyone to be as happy as we are."_

" _I don't know if that's possible."_

" _No?"_

 _I shook my head. "No, not a chance. There's no one in the world that could be as happy as us."_

 _Buffy laughed, and I leaned forward to kiss her._

 _People began crossing the sidewalk, and Buffy and I pulled away and hustled across the street before traffic began moving again._

" _Okay, I know I went a little overboard with the gifts, and yeah, it's going to put a major dent in my banking account, but it's Christmas. It's the season of giving."_

" _Well don't spend too much on me. In fact, you don't have to get anything for me at all. Having you alone is present enough."_

 _Buffy stopped in her tracks and stared at me, jaw dropped. "Oh no, that's not going to work! There's no way I'm buying all this for my family and friends and leaving out my boyfriend!"_

" _Okay, then just get me one present then. That'll be enough."_

 _Buffy was about to protest, but something over my shoulder seemed to distract her. "That woman over there. Something's wrong with her."_

 _As I turned around, I saw the woman standing over a stroller. She looked weak and disoriented, and as she began to fall to the ground, I dropped the shopping bags and caught her just before she hit the sidewalk._

 _Buffy rushed over to us. "Oh my god! Is she okay?"_

" _She unconscious. Call 911."_

 _While Buffy reached for the phone in her purse, I gently eased the woman down to the ground beside the stroller. The woman, probably just a little older than Buffy herself, began to awake. She stared at me for a moment, looking confused. "What happened?"_

" _You fainted. Are you alright?"_

" _I…I don't know. My baby." Her eyes roamed until they settled upon the stroller next to her._

 _I glanced into the stroller, seeing the sleeping bundle wrapped up in pink, fast asleep. "She's fine. I'm more concerned about you."_

" _The ambulance is coming," Buffy announced, kneeling down next to us. "Are you okay?"_

 _The woman slowly nodded. "I…I think so. But this has been happening a lot."_

 _We waited with the panicked woman, who seemed more concerned about her baby than anything, until the ambulance arrived a few minutes later. The noise from the sirens woke the baby up though, and she screamed and hollered._

" _A healthy set of lungs on that kid," Buffy said, holding her hands over her ears._

" _My baby…"_

 _I gave the woman a reassuring squeeze on her hand. "Don't worry. I've got your baby."_

 _As the paramedics went to work checking the woman's vitals, I scooped the screaming baby into my arms. I swayed her gently, and without even realizing it, I began to sing to her._

 _Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry!  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's an Irish lullaby. _

_And just like that, the baby fell back asleep._

 _Buffy sidled up next to me, a smile on her face. "Wow, I didn't know you knew how to do that," she whispered._

" _Yeah, me neither."_

 _Buffy looked down at the baby, and another smile spread across her face. "You must be a natural with children."_

 _Seeing the look on Buffy's face, a thought suddenly came to mind. I realized that one day, I could be holding a baby that was ours. There was nothing in the world stopping us from having a family of our own someday._

 _I couldn't wait for it._

* * *

It had started off as normal day. Normal for Astoria anyway. I hadn't really paid attention to how long I'd been in this world, though longer than I wanted to, that was for sure. Of course, Althea and Roman as well as their children had welcomed me into their home, but it made me long for the family I wanted to share with Buffy. I even missed Cordy and Doyle too.

Curious, I glance at the calendar, and I couldn't believe what day it was. "I can't believe it."

"Can't believe what?" Myles asks, looking up at me. Andromeda too had stopped reading to Serena and was staring at me.

"I just…didn't realize what day it was."

"Sunday?" Myles asks.

"No. I mean, yeah, it's Sunday. But it will be Christmas tomorrow."

"What's Christmas?" Andromeda asks.

"It's a holiday in my world. People bring trees into their houses and put all kinds of silly decorations and lights on them. They decorate the house too. And then everyone exchanges gifts. But mostly, it's about being with the ones you love."

"I'm sorry you can't be home. I know you miss it," Andromeda says.

Serena moves to sit next to me on the couch and rests her head on my arm.

"What else do you do on Christmas?" Myles asks.

"Well, different families do different things. Some like to gather around and sing Christmas songs. Some like to make cookies."

"I like cookies," Serena says softly.

I wrap my arm around the child, hugging her close. "Most people do. My girlfriend back at home, she loves Christmas."

"What other kinds of decorations do they have?" Andromeda asks.

"Lights. Lot of lights strung everywhere. And wreathes. The ornaments are all different. Some are colored glass balls. Some are in the shapes of objects. Some people even put candy canes on the leaves of the tree."

"You put _candy_ on a _tree_?" Myles asks, wide-eyed with the prospect of a candy tree.

"Yeah. Well, some people do."

"We can't have peppermint sticks anymore," Andromeda says. "We can't have any candy really."

"The bad guys took it away," Myles says.

"We had a little stash of it, and Mother would let us have a piece on special occasions. But that ran out."

"You know, I didn't have much in the way of candy either when I was your age."

Myles tilts his head in confusion. "Why not?"

"Well, for one, there really wasn't much candy around when I was a kid. And even if there was, we couldn't really afford it. Once in a while, we would get to have some honey though."

Andromeda smiles. "I like honey."

I feel a tug on my sleeve and look down to see Serena gazing up at me.

"Yes, Serena?"

She doesn't answer, but instead, walks across the room and takes the lid off of an antique tea cup. Apparently something had been hidden there, and she takes it and walks back over to me.

"What do you have there?"

Serena places a piece of red candy into the palm of my hand. "I hid it," she says proudly.

"Is this for me?"

Serena nods. "Now you can have some candy too."

"Thank you, Serena, but I want you to keep it. Save it for a day when you really need a piece of candy. And whenever I make the bad guys go away, there will be lots of candy again. I promise."

Serena throws her little arms around me, and before I know it, Andromeda and Myles are hugging me too.

* * *

In our living room, Mom has put up our Christmas tree. It's small and void of decorations, which makes it look sad. Next to getting presents, getting a tree was usually my favorite part of Christmas. And now, it's just another thing that makes me miss Angel even more.

* * *

" _There," I said, putting the final touches on Angel's Christmas tree. I insisted he had to have at least a little decoration at his apartment in L.A., even if it was just a small Charlie Brown tree. "Do you like it?"_

 _Angel gave me a smile and walked over to me. "It looks very…festive," he said, then kissed me._

" _You know, in another hour or so, it'll be Christmas Day. It's practically already Christmas."_

" _You want to open your present now, don't you?"_

" _Uh-huh."_

 _Angel laughed. "Alright, let's sit down."_

 _I placed a pillow from the couch on the floor and sat down by the tree. Angel joined me and placed a wrapped present into my lap._

" _Merry Christmas."_

" _Ooo, I wonder what it could be!" I gave the box a shake. "Hmm, lightweight, no sound. I bet it's something soft. Clothing?"_

" _Open it up and see."_

 _I tore into the delicately wrapped present and opened the box. Inside underneath several layers of tissue paper was a white cashmere sweater, the very one I had been ogling over at the mall last week and hinting not so subtly that it would be a great Christmas present for me._

" _Oh my god! You got the sweater!"_

" _You said that was what you wanted."_

 _I held the sweater against me and ran my hands against the soft material. "Oh, thank you! You're the best boyfriend ever. You know that?"_

 _Angel laughed again. "Here, I got you something else." Angel pulled out a smaller box from under the tree and handed it to me._

" _You got me a second present? But, Angel, we agreed on a one present limit!"_

" _I know, but I saw this while I was shopping and I had to get it for you too. And really, it's more of a present for me than it is for you."_

 _I raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what that statement could mean. "Okay." I tore off the wrapping paper and uncovered a box. Inside was more tissue paper, and underneath it all, a negligee. A very tiny negligee. I lifted it out of the box by the teeny tiny straps. "Oh my. This thing is practically see-though."_

 _Angel grinned. "That's the point."_

 _I laughed. "Okay, now I know why you didn't want to spend Christmas at my mother's."_

" _Yeah, can you imagine the look on Joyce's face if she saw me giving you that?"_

 _I held the negligee up to me and looked down at it. "Hey, do you think if I wear this tonight, Santa will put me on his naughty list?"_

" _Does that mean you like it?"_

" _I love it. But…I can't guarantee I'll wear it for very long."_

" _Well that's the fun part. Taking it off and seeing what's underneath."_

" _But this one's see-though! There's no surprises!"_

 _Angel laughed. "I know, but it'll still look sexy on you."_

 _I rolled my eyes. "Okay, open yours!" I put the negligee aside and handed Angel his present._

 _Angel delicately peeled the wrapping paper away, unlike me who usually tore into it. Finally, he uncovered what was underneath._

" _A cooking book."_

" _I thought you could use one."_

 _He smiled as he flipped through the book. "How did you know this is exactly what I wanted?"_

" _Well, it wasn't hard to figure out. You're always poking around in the kitchen, and you seem to know your way around it. Which is amazing really since you spent over two hundred years as a vampire and didn't eat human food at all. I thought you could, you know, try out some new recipes. You do like to eat."_

" _I love it. This is perfect."_

" _This is also more of a present for me than it is for you."_

" _Oh yeah?"  
_

" _Yeah. You cook the food, and I get to eat it."_

" _Well how about this? I'll cook us a meal from this book one night, and you can wear that sexy negligee."_

" _Ooo, dinner and dessert, huh?"_

" _Exactly," Angel whispered as he leaned forward to kiss me._

* * *

 _I'll Be Home For Christmas_ , arguably the most depressing song on this CD, plays in the background as I sit on the couch looking through a photo album.

"I found the Christmas decorations!" Mom announces, walking into the living room with a box full of ornaments and lights. "They were in the basement under a box of clothing for goodwill I forgot to take."

When I don't say anything, Mom puts the box down and sits down next to me, putting her arm around me like she always does when she knows I'm feeling sad. "Oh, honey, I know you miss Angel."

"I don't even want anything for Christmas this year. Except for him to come home of course."

"Well, you never know. Maybe there'll be a Christmas miracle."

I have my doubts, only because I don't want to get my hopes up.

"When was this picture taken?" Mom asks, pointing to one of the photos in the album.

"Last year. We went out for sushi. Angel had never had sushi before. He liked it."

Mom flipped the page in the album.

"That's us at the park. We had a picnic. It was a little chilly that day but the sun was shining bright. Angel loved to sit out in the sun, since you know, he couldn't before."

Mom flipped the page again.

"Angel didn't know I was taking that picture. I just liked to watch him read."

That was the last picture, and Mom closed the album. "Just hold on to these memories," she tells me. "I'm sure one day, you'll be able to fill this album with more. Do you want some hot cocoa?"

I nod. "With lots of marshmallows?"

"It wouldn't be hot cocoa without them."

Mom kisses me on the forehead, then heads to the kitchen. I open the photo album back up and flip to the sushi picture again.

"Come home for Christmas, Angel."

* * *

A tugging on my arm brings me out of a restless sleep. Cracking my eyes open, I find Serena's little blue head eye to eye with me. Andromeda and Myles stand behind her.

"Wake up, Angel!" Andromeda says.

"We have a surprise for you!" Myles adds.

Serena tugs on my arm again.

I can't help but smile at their excitement. "Alright, give me a few minutes."

Five minutes later, I make my way down the hall. The children are gathered in the living room, and when they see me, they all rush over and tug on my arm, pulling me into the room to show me their surprise.

"It's Christmas, Angel!" Andromeda says.

Over the window is a small bush, one I recognize from their backyard. Pink and blue lights decorate the bush-tree along with paper doll cutouts and a string of what looks like confetti of all different colors and sizes.

"We made a tree!" Myles says.

"Wow, it looks great! Where did you get the lights from?"

"Mom let us use them. We hang those lights outside during our festivals," Andromeda says. "And the decorations Myles and I made."

Serena makes a sound in frustration at her sister.

"Oh, and Serena helped too!"

"That's not all," Myles says, walking over to the tree and pointing underneath. "We have presents!"

Underneath the tree, three wrapped presents, one from each of them I presume. "You kids didn't have to go through all this trouble."

"But we wanted to, Angel!" Andromeda says, beaming at me.

"Open mine first!" Myles says as he picks up a small box wrapped in newspaper.

I sit down on the couch and take the box from him. "Wow, I wonder what this could be."

"You'll like it," Myles promises as I began to tear the paper.

Inside the box nestled among some more newspaper is a small object, and upon further inspection, I realize it's a pocket knife. "A pocket knife? Myles, where did you get this? Does this belong to your father?"

"No. Well, I asked Papa what to get you and he gave that to me. He said I could give it to you. Papa says that every man should have a good pocket knife. You never know when you're going to need it."

"Well that is very wise. Thank you very much, Myles."

"Okay, open mine next," Andromeda says, handing me the rectangular box.

It feels lightweight and fragile, and when I move away the layers of tissue paper, I find a frame nestled inside. A sketch of Buffy lies just beneath the glass.

"I thought a picture that beautiful deserved a frame. It's an old frame. I found it in the basement. I hope you don't mind that I tore that picture out of your sketch pad.

"I didn't even notice. Thank you, Andromeda. It's perfect. I'll put it right beside my bed."

"Yeah! And then you can see Buffy every day!"

Serena hands me her present next, and I can tell she wrapped it herself. The wrapping paper is loosely taped around what appears to be a stuffed animal. When I unwrap the gift, I realize I'm right.

"It's Fuzzy Bunny," Serena says.

I've seen Serena holding this stuffed bunny like a security blanket. The fact that she wants me to have it is surprising. "Serena, are you sure you want to give me Fuzzy Bunny?"

Serena nods. "Yeah, you can have him. When people are lonely, Fuzzy Bunny makes you feel not lonely anymore. He's a good friend."

The heart of this very young girl amazes me. "Tell you what. I'll borrow Fuzzy Bunny for a while. But if you ever miss him, you can have him back, okay?"

Serena nods. "Okay."

"You three are amazing."

"We wanted you to have a good Christmas," Andromeda explains.

And despite the constant ache in my heart, a smile spreads across my face.


	12. Birthday Surprise

**CHAPTER 12 - BIRTHDAY SURPRISE**

-January 19, 2001-

 _I feel his lips hovering over me, his breath hot on my face. He kisses me, lightly, and I open my eyes just a crack, seeing Angel smiling at me. The soft, morning light surrounds him._

" _Happy birthday," he says softly._

" _I never have happy birthdays."_

" _You will someday."_

 _I reach for Angel's hand, our fingers interlocking. "I wish you were here with me."_

" _I'm here now."_

" _Not really. When I wake up, you won't be here anymore."_

" _So stay asleep a little longer," he says, smiling._

 _With his other hand, Angel reaches for the ring around my neck, smiling at the sight of it. "You're wearing the ring I gave you."_

 _I look down at the garnet ring, the one Angel had given me for my last birthday, and hold it between my fingers. "I have to wear it around my neck. My fingers are too puffy since I became pregnant."_

" _That's okay. It's just closer to your heart now."_

" _The baby should be coming any day now."_

 _This brings another smile to Angel's face, and his hand moves to rest on my rounded stomach._

" _I wish you could be there to see him born."_

" _I know. You just tell him that I love him, and that I'll do everything I can to get back home to the both of you. I will someday. I promise."_

" _Could you just hold me for a little while? Until I wake up?"_

 _Angel nods and lays back on the bed with me, pulling me into his arms, and I rest my head on his shoulder..._

It's still dark when I open my eyes. A quick glance at the clock tells me it's shortly after three in the morning, technically already my birthday, and I want to go back to sleep, back to the dream I was having. But it's gone now.

I feel around in the dark for the chain on my nightstand, the one that holds my garnet ring, and slip it around my neck. I decide that if I wear it close to my heart, I can pretend Angel is with me.

A sharp pain in my back distracts me from my misery for a moment. I've been feeling the pain a lot lately, just another sign that it's almost time. It scares me sometimes, the thought of going through this alone. Looking at the empty side of my bed, I imagine what Angel would do. Probably hold me in his arms, rub the sore spot on my back, and tell me that it's okay.

But he's not here. I can pretend he is, but it's just never the same.

* * *

 _-January 19, 2000-_

 _The gang was planning on throwing me a birthday party tonight, but the guest of honor got sick with a bad cold, so I'll probably have to call it off._

 _I never did have good luck on my birthday._

 _The dorms were quiet about this time of day, with nearly everyone at class. Except me, of course, since I felt sick._

 _I grabbed a tissue from the box, blowing my nose for the hundredth time that afternoon, then threw it on the floor next to the other ones._

 _There was a knock at the door, and seconds later, Angel let himself in. I was so relieved to see him. "Angel."_

" _Hey. I'd say 'happy birthday' but I'm guessing it's not so much, huh?"_

" _Didn't I tell you something always happens on my birthday? I feel like I've been hit with a mack truck."_

" _I guess you really are sick."_

" _What was your first clue? The way I sounded all nasally on the phone or the pile of balled-up tissues on the floor?"_

" _Both." Angel started walking toward me, but I held up a hand, halting his movement._

" _No, don't come too close to me. I don't want to get you sick too."_

" _I don't care," Angel said, sitting down on the edge of my bed anyway, ignoring my request for distance. "I brought you something that might help you feel better."_

" _You did?"_

 _He held up a thermos and placed it on my nightstand. "It's soup. It's from your mom actually. She asked if I could bring it over to you."_

 _I reached out and touched the thermos. It was still warm. "Mom's soup. Mom always makes me soup when I don't feel good. Either that or PB & J."_

" _Do you feel like eating?"_

" _In a little while. I'm glad you're here. I was getting bored. Willow's still in class."_

" _Well, I know you don't feel good, but I brought you something else. Something for your birthday. I was going to give it to you tonight at your party but…"_

 _This made me smile. "No, give it to me now!"_

 _He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black, velvety box, and handed it to me. "Open it."_

 _I gave him an inquisitive look, silently wondering to myself if he actually went out and got an engagement ring for me, because the box was quite obviously one for a ring. If Angel was proposing, I wasn't going to say no, but it would be nice if I wasn't feeling so rotten right now._

 _Inside the box, there was definitely a ring, but it wasn't a diamond. Instead, it was a silver band with a red stone in the center. I ran my finger along the ring, unable to resist touching it. "Angel, it's beautiful."_

" _The stone is a garnet. It's your birthstone."_

 _I smiled at him. "You know my birthstone?"_

 _He nodded. "Let me put it on you."_

 _I handed him the box and held out my right hand. Angel slipped the ring on my third finger, then gave a smile. "Perfect fit."_

 _I held my hand up, admiring the ring. "It really is beautiful. I never really realized how beautiful a garnet is."_

" _They get overlooked a lot, but they are very beautiful. You want to know something else about garnets?"_

" _What's that?"_

" _Garnets are a symbol of protection, said to protect the wearer from nightmares and offer guidance through the darkness. It's also said to have healing properties, which you could definitely use right about now."_

" _I love it."_

" _Garnets are also a symbol of love."_

 _I gave him a skeptical look. "Are you making that last part up or is that really true?"_

 _Angel laughed. "I'm not making it up. It's the truth. You could also say it represents passion and…sexuality." He leaned down and kissed me on the lips._

 _I immediately pushed him away. "Angel, no! Are you crazy? You'll get sick if you kiss me! If you're not already…"_

" _So? We'll be sick together then."_

" _No, you can't be sick too. You have to take care of me when I'm sick."_

" _I'll always take care of you." He leaned forward to kiss me again but I pushed him away once more._

" _Not if you're sick! I can't believe you actually find me attractive right now."_

" _I always find you attractive."_

" _Well, I'm sorry if you're feeling horny, but I don't feel like doing it right now."_

 _Angel laughed. "I wasn't trying to seduce you. I'm just not going to let a little thing like a cold get in the way of me kissing my girlfriend on her birthday." He leaned forward once more and kissed me. I didn't push him away that time._

" _I probably just infected you with my all my germs," I said to him once he finally pulled away. "You know that, don't you?"_

 _Angel just smiled. "Want some of this soup now?"_

" _Yes, please."_

 _Angel produced a spoon out of his pocket, one I recognized from my mom's silverware set, and unscrewed the lid off the thermos. "This smells really good."_

" _It's probably my mom's homemade chicken soup."_

" _Can I have a taste?"_

" _Only if you sample before me."_

 _Angel takes a spoonful into his mouth, nodding in approval. "Mmm, that's good soup. That's really good soup." He took another sample._

" _Okay, but don't bogart it," I teased. "That's for me, remember? I'm the sick one here."_

" _Sorry. It's all yours." He dipped the spoon in the soup, then held it to my mouth._

" _Honey, I can feed myself," I said, laughing._

" _I know, but you're sick. Let me take care of you."_

" _Okay," I relented, and let Angel feed me soup._

* * *

With my due date looming near, I've taken off a semester from school. I've never had this much free time on my hands and it's been a rather strange experience. Apparently I've grown accustomed to juggling school, family, friends, love, and saving the world all at the same time.

Given all of the extra time I've had lately, I've become addicted to daytime television. On the screen now is Maury Povich, and it's paternity test day. I'm amazed at the number of paternity tests one woman needs to determine who her baby daddy is. I may have problems in my life, but at least I know who the father of my child is.

I hear the lock on the front door jiggle and seconds later, Mom comes in, hanging up her coat on the rack. "Hi, honey."

"Mom, what are you doing home so early?"

"I just thought I'd come home for lunch and spend time with the birthday girl." She walks into the living room and kisses me on the forehead. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks."

"Oh, looks like someone got flowers," she says, spotting the flowers from Dad on the coffee table. She nosily reads the card tucked into the vase. "I see your father remembered your birthday this year."

"Yeah, he took two minutes out of his busy schedule to tell his secretary to order me flowers."

"I'm sorry you and your father aren't close anymore. I feel like sometimes that's my fault. Ever since the divorce…"

"Mom, it's not your fault. If Dad wants to see me, he knows where I live. And he's got my number. He could pick up a phone."

"Well, I feel bad anyway."

"Quite honestly, I'm surprised he got me flowers at all. I think he's still disappointed in me." I rub my hand over my belly, thinking of the last conversation I'd had with my dad a few months ago. He didn't seem to take the whole idea of his daughter getting pregnant during her freshman year of college so well. He didn't like the fact that the father wasn't around either. Like he's one to talk.

"Honey, he's not disappointed in you. Are you hungry at all?"

I nod. "Sure, I could eat."

"Why don't I go into the kitchen and fix us up some sandwiches?"

"That sounds good."

Mom glances at the television before she leaves the room and frowns. "Buffy, what in the world are you watching?"

"Trash."

Mom shakes her head, then makes her way to the kitchen.

Not two minutes later, there's a knock at the door.

"Buffy, could you get that?" Mom calls out.

I'm comfortable on this couch, and the fact that Mom has asked me to answer the door annoys me a bit, but she's being so nice. I can't complain. I turn off the television, then slowly ease my pregnant-self off the couch and waddle to the door.

When I open it, all I see at first are balloons, then Xander's face behind them. "Happy birthday, Buff!"

"Oh my god, you guys!" The whole gang is on the doorstep…Xander, Willow, Anya, even Giles.

"We come bearing gifts!" Xander says. He hands me the balloons and heads into the house. The rest of the group follows.

"Happy birthday, honey!" Mom says. She comes out of the kitchen, holding a sheet cake in her hands.

"Mom, you were in on this too?"

She nods. "Guilty."

"You guys, I told you not to make a big deal out of my birthday. I was sort of hoping today could be…uneventful."

"Okay, we'll just take back the presents then…" Xander says.

"No! I changed my mind!" I grab the wrapped gift out of Willow's hand. "I love presents!"

Xander laughs. "The presents get her every time. Are you going to blow out your candle and make a wish while it's still your birthday?"

"Alright, but you guys don't have to sing 'Happy Birthday' to me." I turn around and blow out the candle shaped as the number '20' on the cake.

"What did you wish for?" Anya asks.

"There's only one thing I wish for these days."

"And what was it?" Anya asks again.

"She can't tell you, An," Xander says, "or it won't come true."

Anya ponders this for a moment. "Oh. Well that's kind of a silly superstition, but okay."

"Why don't we go into the dining room and have some of this cake?" Mom suggests, and we all follow her to the table.

After devouring nearly all of the cake, we head back into the living room, and everyone gathers around me as I sit before all of the unopened gifts on the coffee table.

"Oh wow, so many to choose from." I select the gift bag first, brimming with mounds of tissue paper. "I'll open this one first." On the gift bag, a tiny card is attached, and on the card is Giles' neat cursive handwriting. "Oh, this is from Giles."

He smiles at me as I tear into the tissue paper and pull out a book filled with blank pages. "A diary."

"Sometimes writing is a great stress reliever," Giles says.

I haven't kept a diary since high school, so the prospect of keeping up one again now that so much has changed in my life excites me. "I can't wait to write in it. Thank you, Giles."

"This one's from Oz," Willow says, handing me a small, wrapped gift. "The Dingoes have that gig in L.A. so he asked me to give it to you."

I examine the gift. "Hmm, well it looks like it could be a CD. And it's shaped like a CD. And Oz is in a band…" I finally tear off the wrapping paper, and it is, in fact, a CD. "Ooo, Oz and his band have a CD!"

"We're the first ones to get a copy of that," Willow says. "Well, us and Devon's girlfriend too I think."

"I love it. I'll be sure to thank Oz the next time I see him."

Mom takes the CD from me and examines the cover. "That Oz is a very talented young man."

As I reach for the next gift, I feel that pain in my back again. I must have groaned or something because Mom suddenly puts the CD down and gives me that worried "mom look".

"Honey, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just my back. I think it's the way the baby's positioned."

Mom still looks worried. "Buffy, are you sure it's just your back? It could be a sign you're going into labor soon. How long has this been going on?"

"Since last night. But the pain sort of comes and goes. I really think it's just the way the baby's positioned."

"Okay," Mom says, not convinced. "But if the pain gets worse—"

"Mom, I'm fine. Really. Next present?"

"Open mine next!" Xander says, handing me his gift.

"Now this I have no idea what it could be."

"You'll love it," Xander promises.

I tear into the paper and uncover a gruesome looking vampire and a few other creatures of the night. "Ooo, cheesy horror movies!"

"Some of them even have vampires in them!" Xander says. "I thought we'd all have a blast watching them and making fun of them and then, and you know, seeing how Hollywood gets it wrong."

I laugh. "Thanks, Xander. I love it."

"And now for a present you'll really love!" Anya says, reaching behind her to pick up the huge wrapped gift she brought.

"Ooo, the big present!" I take the box, surprised at how lightweight it feels, and greedily tear into the wrapping paper. Once I tear off the paper, I then have to open a box. And then, dig through several layers of tissue paper.

Finally, I uncover some sort of bag. "Hey, this looks like…"

"It's a diaper bag!" Anya says excitedly.

"An, you were supposed to get something for _Buffy_ , not the baby. That's what the baby shower was for."

"Well that bag is just as much a gift for the her as it is for the baby! She has to carry it! And besides, she said she had a hard time finding one she really liked and I have connections with suppliers. I found the one she wanted!"

"Xander, it's okay. Anya, I love this. I'm so totally taking back the other one I bought. So thank you, I've very glad you got it for me."

Anya looks at Xander, a smug look on her face. "See? I was right."

"Alright, open mine next," Mom says, handing me a small rectangular-shaped box.

I unwrap it and uncover a small box. When I remove the lid, I spot something very familiar inside.

"Hey, this looks like grandma's bracelet."

"That's because it is."

"You're giving me grandma's bracelet?"

Mom takes the bracelet out of the box and starts to fasten it on my wrist. "Someone gave this to my mother when she was pregnant with me. And when I had you, she gave it to me. And now, I'm giving it to you."

"It's beautiful," Willow says.

"Very old looking too," Anya says. "But in a good way," she quickly adds.

"It's just a little gift, you know, for yourself, especially at a time when everyone is focused on the baby."

I almost feel like I'll cry. Damn hormones. But I blink back the tears and put on a smile. "Thank you, Mom. I love it."

"Okay, the best for last! Open mine!" Willow hands me her gift, then stares at everyone else in the room. "Sorry, guys. As great as all your gifts are, I really think Buffy will like mine the most."

"Now I'm really intrigued." I tear into the box, savoring the satisfaction of ripping the wrapping paper. Once unwrapped, it looks suspiciously like a large shoe box. And before I even move away the tissue paper, I know exactly what's inside. "Willow, _you didn't_!"

"I did!"

I take one of them out of the box, and I can't believe I'm actually holding it!

"Now _those_ look like boots made for walking," Xander says.

"Oh my god! Willow, you're the best!" I glance at Giles across the room, and I can't help but say something. "Do you like them, Giles?"

Giles straightens his glasses. "They're not very practical for slaying," he says in his serious tone.

"But they're fashionable!"

"They're very stylish," Mom says, taking the other boot out of the box to get a closer look.

"I saw them at the mall a couple weeks ago when I was shopping for stuff for the baby. I saw these boots and I practically drooled over them."

"She really did. I was there," Willow says.

I turn to Willow. "Willow, these boots were expensive. You didn't have to get me these."

"But I wanted to, Buffy. You've had a rough year, and when I saw you look at those boots, that was the first time I'd seen you smile in months. So I had to get them."

"Thanks again, Willow. Thank you all. I love all my presents."

"You're welcome, Buff." Xander smiles at me.

"Well, I hate to cut the party short, but I need to get back to work," Mom announces as she stands up.

"So do I," Anya says, following my mom's lead. "With Giles and I both gone, there's no one there to run the store. And if the store's closed, we're not making money!"

"But we can stay!" Willow says, looping her arm around Xander's.

"Yeah, and maybe we can watch some cheesy horror movies, huh?" Xander waves one of the movies around.

"I'm so bored sitting around here. I'd love to!"

My mother walks Giles and Anya to the door, then turns around and looks at me. "Buffy, call me if that pains gets worse? Alright?"

"Okay, Mom."

"And, Buffy? Don't hesitate to go to the hospital if you think you're in labor."

"Yes, Mother."

Joyce looks over my shoulder to Xander and Willow. "Keep an eye on her, will you?"

"Don't worry, Joyce, we'll take care of her," Xander says.

Mom, with a relieved look on her face, puts her purse over her shoulder and kisses me on the forehead. "I'll see you later. Happy birthday."

"Bye, Mom."

I close the door, then waddle into the living room, because waddling is the best I can manage these days. "So, what movie are we watching?"

Xander held up the three movies. "Well, we have our choice of vampires, zombies, or evil leprechauns. Your choice."

"Hmm, tough decision. Let's watch the bad vampire movie first."

"Vampires it is!" Xander takes the movie out of case and pops it into the player.

I ease myself onto the couch beside Willow, but of course, as soon as I do, I remember something. "Oh crap."

Willow frowns. "What's wrong, Buffy?"

"I just sat down, and then I remembered that we need popcorn. And standing is sort of…hard at the moment." I place my hand over my ginormous belly.

Xander hands me the remote. "Don't worry, I'll get it. You're the birthday girl after all!"

"Thanks, Xander."

Xander nods, then heads to the kitchen.

"Hey, Xander?" Willow calls after him.

"Yeah?"

"Don't burn it this time!"

"I won't burn it this time!"

"And Xander?" I call out. "Make sure you stay and _listen_ for the slowing between the pops."

"I said I'm not going to burn it!"

Willow, noticing the ring around my neck, reaches out for it to examine it. "Hey, this looks familiar. Hey, is this—" Willow abruptly stops talking, but I already know what she was going to ask.

"Yeah, this is the ring Angel gave me for my last birthday. I wanted to wear it today, but ever since I became pregnant, my fingers have been too swollen. So I just wear it around my neck." I hold the ring between my fingers and gaze into the red stone in the center. "I miss him so much, Will."

I lean my head against Willow's shoulder, and she in turn, puts a comforting hand on my arm. "I know. I miss him for you too."

"It's just not fair." I rub my hand over my belly. "I'm having his baby. He should be here to see this. This is something we should be experiencing together. But I guess that's how it's always been for me and Angel. It's like the world has always been against our relationship. He's a vampire, I'm a slayer. We make love, he loses his soul. And then one day, he becomes human, which is nothing short of a miracle. And I foolishly believe Angel being human is like our reward or something, like the universe decided we struggled enough and was finally giving us a break. I should have known it wouldn't be that simple for us."

"I'm so sorry, Buffy. You know I'd bring Angel back if I could, don't you?"

I sit up straight and look at Willow through teary eyes. "I know you would, Will."

"It's just that finding Angel would be like trying to look for needle in a haystack. Actually, it'd be more like trying to find a single needle in a thousand haystacks."

I wipe my eyes, the tears blurring my vision. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For going on and on about Angel. I know you're tired of hearing this."

"Buffy, you can talk to me about Angel anytime. I don't mind being your sounding board. I'm your best friend. Besides, you listened to me go on and on about Oz when we broke up."

"Well I'm glad at least one of us had a happy ending. I'm glad that you and Oz are back together."

"Well it wasn't easy. You know, Buffy, I don't think love ever is easy. We all have our obstacles. You and Angel just seem to have more of them."

"Lucky me." I start the movie, letting the previews play as Xander finishes getting the popcorn. A few moments later, the smell of popcorn wafts into the living room.

"Hmm, I smell popcorn, and it doesn't smell burned." I look to Willow. "That's a good sign, don't you think?"

"I told you I wouldn't burn it." Xander walks into the living room with two bowls full of popcorn.

"Do I get a bowl all to myself?" I ask.

"You're the birthday girl. Of course you do." Xander hands me one of the bowls.

As Xander sits on the couch, he and Willow sharing the other bowl, I feel another sharp pain in my lower back. I must have made a sound, because Willow and Xander both look at me, a worried look in both of their eyes.

"Buffy, are you okay?" Willow asks.

"I'm fine," I say, rubbing my lower back. "I just…I just felt another pain in my back. It's no big deal, I promise."

"Are you sure?" Xander asks.

"I'm fine. Really. I've been feeling back pain for days. It's just another joyful perk of pregnancy. The pains are just a little stronger today, that's all."

* * *

I can't enjoy the movie, because every five minutes, Xander has to pause it to ask if I'm okay. The twinge I keep feeling in my back is getting worse, and it's worrying the hell out of Xander and Will.

"Buffy, are you sure you're not in labor?" Willow asks for about the fourteenth time.

"I don't think it's labor, guys. It's just back pain."

"Well you could be having back labor," Willow says. "You know? When the baby's head is on your spine? And you feel the contractions more in your back?"

I shake my head. I probably should have paid more attention in that childbirth class. Xander looks just as confused as I am.

"Sorry," Willow says. "I guess I got a little carried away reading at the bookstore."

"I think she should have been your labor coach," Xander says.

"You guys, that's so sweet you're worried about me, but really, I think I'm— _ahhh_ …" A sharp pain in my stomach has me gripping the edge of the couch, and Willow and Xander stare at me wide-eyed. "Okay, that was…something."

"Oh my god, you're in labor!" Willow stands up and starts to jump up and down. "You're having the baby! We need to get you to the hospital!"

"I'm on it!" Xander is already up and standing at the door, holding up the overnight bag I had packed weeks ago. "Let's get you to the hospital!"

I just continue to sit there on the couch, staring at both of them. "I'm having a baby? I'm really having a baby?"

A big smiles spreads across Xander's face. "And you thought your birthday was going to be uneventful!"


	13. The Gift Your Father Left Behind

**CHAPTER 13 – THE GIFT YOUR FATHER LEFT BEHIND**

"You guys, I really don't think I need to go to the hospital."

I'm sitting in the backseat of Xander's car, Willow riding shotgun. And I'm outnumbered two to one.

"Buff, I hate to break it to you, but when a woman starts having contractions that close together, it usually means she's in labor and it's time to go to the hospital." Xander then turns to Willow. "See, I did learn something from that class."

"But that's the thing. I don't think I'm labor anymore! I'm not even sure that _was_ a contraction. It could have been one of those fake ones, you know? Xander, turn the car around!"

Willow suddenly turns around in her seat, a giddy expression on her face. "Hey, Buffy! I just realized something! You and your baby might have the same birthday! Isn't that cool?"

"Cool? No, not cool! January 19th is a bad luck day to be born and I don't wish that on anyone, especially my child!"

"But you're not having bad luck today, Buffy! You're having a baby!"

"Correction: I _am_ having bad luck because I'm being forced to go to the hospital, a place that I very much despise, and oh, by the by, I'm not having contractions!"

"Well maybe we should just make sure," Willow says, her excitement obviously deflated now.

"You guys are overreacting like my mother. Look, I'm not in labor. So let's just turn the car back around, go back to the house, and finish the movie. Okay?"

"Tell you what, Buff," Xander says, glancing at me in the rearview mirror. "Let's just take you to the hospital, have the doctor check you out, and if the doctor says you're not in labor, we'll go back to the house and I'll give you twenty bucks. What do you say?"

I lean forward in the seat, as much as I can with my enormous belly, and place my chin on Xander's seat. "Sounds like a waste of time, gas, _and money."_

By the time Xander makes the turn toward the hospital, I'm ready to protest, thinking if he can't get me out of the car, I won't have to go in. But as soon as that thought crosses my mind, I feel another sharp pain accompanied by what I can only assume to be my water breaking. Either that, or I've just had a _really_ terrible accident in the car.

"Oh god."

"What's the matter?" Xander asks, glancing at me in the mirror again.

I look up, seeing Willow staring back at me, a concerned expression on her face.

"Okay, maybe you guys are right."

"Another contraction?" Xander asks.

"Yeah, and I think my water just broke all over the back seat of your car. Sorry about that."

Xander makes a sharp turn away from the parking lot and pulls up to the emergency entrance instead. He barely puts the car in park before he jumps out of it. "Hey! Got a pregnant lady having a baby here!" he shouts to some guys standing near the entrance.

Willow, meanwhile, is out of the car and opening my door. "Come on, Buffy."

Carefully, I ease my legs over the side of the seat, but for some reason, I just can't move.

Willow kneels down at my level with a concerned look on her face. "Buffy, it's going to be okay. Do you want me to call your mom?"

I nod yes, but in my heart, there's only one person I need here.

* * *

Once in the hospital, the nursing staff whisks me away to some exam room where they make me change into a flimsy hospital gown and slap a plastic bracelet on my wrist. I'm officially a patient now, and I'm officially going into labor.

The doctor, who is not my regular doctor but the one on call, examines me with a look of astonishment on his face. He's old, wrinkly, and looks like he should have retired about twenty years ago.

"You really didn't know you were in a labor, dear?"

I shake my head at him. "This is my first one and I…isn't it supposed to hurt way more than this?"

"Oh, it will," the doctor chuckles.

After the doctor checks me out, they send me to another room. And shortly after that, my mom arrives. She barges into the room with that 'panicked mom' look on her face, and I'm so glad to see her.

"Mom! My water broke in Xander's car!" is the first thing that comes out of my mouth.

Mom rushes to my side and kisses my forehead. "I know, Willow told me. I knew I shouldn't have gone back to work! Are you okay, sweetie?"

"I'm okay. But I'm scared though. Isn't that the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard? I've been up against way scarier things than this but the thought of giving birth absolutely terrifies me."

"It's normal to be a little nervous, Buffy, but it's going to be okay. I promise you. I've been through this before, I know."

"Mom, will you stay with me in the delivery room?"

"Of course, honey! I'll be right here by your side the whole time!"

"Oh god, here's comes another one." I grip the handrails of the bed as another contraction rolls over me.

Mom places her hand on my arm. "Just breathe through it, Buffy."

"The contractions are getting stronger."

"Sit up a little."

I sit up in the bed and Mom starts to knead her hands into my lower back.

"How does that feel?"

"Really good. Thanks, Mom."

"Listen, I know right now, you're nervous and scared, but the moment they place that beautiful baby into your arms, you won't even give this a second thought, and all of this pain will be worth it. I promise you."

"I can't wait to see him."

"I remember the moment the nurse placed you into my arms. I don't want to brag, but I do have to say, you were the cutest baby in that nursery."

"I hope he looks like Angel."

"I'm sure he will. He'll look like both of you."

The door opens again, and Willow and Xander walk in with Giles and Anya behind them. "Hey, there you are. I was wondering where you guys were."

"We called Giles and Anya," Willow explains, as if I didn't already figure that out.

"I can't believe it's finally time," Giles says with a smile on his face.

"Where have you been?" Anya asks Giles. "Haven't you noticed that she's about to pop?" Anya then turns to face me. "I never imagined a tiny thing like you could get so huge. It'll be nice when you're skinny again!"

"Yes, yes, I'm very huge now. Thanks for the reminder."

"How are you feeling?" Giles asks, more concerned about my pain level than my size.

"The contractions come and go but overall, I'm not really in that much pain."

A few hours later though, when everyone apparently leaves to go eat, or to get away from me, I'm not exactly sure, poor Xander was getting the brunt of my rage.

"Where's the doctor?" I yell as I grab him by the shirt collar.

"Okay, just calm down, Buff. I'm sure the doctor will be here soon. Why don't I go get you some ice chips while we wait?"

"NO! I don't want ice chips! I want drugs! And I want it NOW!"

"Look who I found!" Willow says, opening the door with a young-looking male doctor standing behind her.

"I heard somebody in here wanted an epidural. Now which one of you would that be?"

"Oh, it's me! It's me!" I raise my hand wildly. "I would looooove an epidural! Oh, Willow, thank you for bringing me this lovely doctor!"

I watch Willow give Xander a smug look. "See, Xander? It's easy. All you gotta do is whatever Buffy tells you to do."

* * *

Everyone returns to my room shortly afterward. I guess word got out that I was in a better mood since I got some pain relief. There aren't enough chairs for everyone to sit, so Willow sits on the edge of the bed, and Anya sits on an arm of the chair.

It's starting to get to me though. Not the pain. No, the pain is taken care of. The attention, however, is getting to be a little much. I love each and every one of these people in the room, but it's a little unnerving to have everyone standing around waiting for me to pop this baby out. And Anya's comments about everything from my weight to the entire labor process aren't really helping.

The nurse must have sensed my anxiety, because in the middle of a heated discussion on circumcising vs. not circumcising, the nurse takes one look at everyone in the room, puts two fingers in her mouth, and lets out a piercing whistle. The room falls silent, and everyone stares at her.

"Listen, there's too many people in this delivery room and soon enough, there's going to be one more. I need everyone who isn't going to be here for the delivery to leave now."

Giles nods at the woman. "Yes, of course."

Willow leans forward and gives me a hug. "Good luck, Buffy!"

"Thanks, Will."

"Yeah, she's going to need it," Anya says. "She's about to push something the size of a watermelon out of her hoo-ha."

"Thanks for the visual, Anya," I mutter.

"Well then, we'll get going," Giles says. He leans forward and kisses my forehead. "We'll see you soon."

I nod, then watch everyone except my mom and Xander pile out of the room.

"How about some ice chips, honey?" Mom asks me.

"Okay."

Mom smiles at me, then heads out of the room.

Xander reaches for my hand, and I turn to him, giving him a weak smile.

"You okay, Buff?"

"No, not really. But you're helping."

"You just wish it was someone else holding your hand."

I turn to stare at a painting on the wall, unable to look Xander in the eye as a tear falls down my cheek.

"Hey, are you crying?"

"Sorry, can't help it. I'm pregnant. I'm an emotional mess."

"Are you in any pain?"

"No, the epidural's working. I'm not feeling much of anything." I turn to look at Xander, seeing the concern in his eyes, and immediately feel guilty for yelling at him earlier. "I'm sorry I was so bitchy to you earlier. You're just being nice and I'm just being…"

"Buff, you're having a baby. Be as bitchy as you want, I can take it."

Xander manages to get a smile out of me.

* * *

As it turns out, the baby and I won't share the same birthday after all. Thirty-two minutes after midnight, I gave birth to a healthy, seven pound, six ounce baby boy.

It's hard to describe how I felt the moment the doctor placed him into my arms. I felt incredible joy and immense sadness all at the same time, as if my emotions were all rolled into one. Joy for the beautiful life Angel and I had created. Sadness for the fact that he wasn't here to celebrate it with me.

When I'm finally settled into a private room sometime later, after all of the excitement of the delivery, everyone is anxious to meet the newest member of our little group.

"He's beautiful, Buffy," Giles says, beaming down at me and the little bundle in my arms. His tiny face is the only thing visible, as he's wrapped from head to toe in a blue blanket and a cute little blue hat.

I smile back at him. "Thank you, Giles."

The nurse thought Giles was my father, and the doctor thought that Xander was the baby's father. It's funny, but even though not everyone in this room is a blood-relation, I still feel like every single one of them is family. I just wish there could be one more person here with us.

"I can't believe I'm a grandma," my mom says. "It makes me feel so old!"

"You want to hold him, _grandma_?" I tease her.

Mom nods of course, anxious to hold him, and I hand the baby over to her. In her arms, she sways him gently back and forth. "I'm your grandma. You don't even know what a grandma is yet, but that's what I am."

Willow smiles at my mother holding the baby, then turns to me. "So, Buffy, you haven't told us what you decided to name him yet. Have you picked out something?"

"Yes."

"Well? The suspense is killing us," Xander says when it takes me too long to respond.

"Liam. I named him after his father. 'Liam' was Angel's given name," I add when I see a few confused looks. "Liam Angel Summers."

Mom tears her eyes away from Liam for two seconds to smile at me. "That's a beautiful name, honey."

"I think it fits him," Willow says. "He looks like a Liam."

"I approve too," Anya says. "It's a good name."

When Liam starts to get squirmy in my mother's arms, she hands him back to me. "Well, sweetie, I think I'm going to head home."

"Home? So soon?"

"Well, it's late, and I'm going to let you two have some time to bond. Are you going to be okay here tonight?"

"I'll be fine."

"I'll walk you out, Joyce," Giles offers, standing up from his chair. "Congratulations, Buffy."

"Thanks, Giles. Goodnight."

Mom kisses my forehead, then kisses Liam. "I'll be back in the morning. I love you. I love you both."

"Love you, too."

"I can't believe one of us has one of these already," Xander says.

"So, Buffy, what's it feel like being a mom?" Willow asks.

"It feels very new. And wonderful."

"The real question is…how does she feel 'down there'?" Anya says. "How in the world did you push him out, Buffy? He weighs seven pounds!"

"With a lot of drugs," I answer honestly.

"Did they have to stitch you up? I bet that's going to hurt later."

"Can we not talk about that anymore?"

Anya shrugs. "Sorry. I was just curious."

"Hey, you guys? I love that you want to keep me company, but if you don't mind, I think I'd like some time alone with the baby for a while."

"Sure, Buffy," Willow says, standing up. "We'll let you rest." Willow leans toward the baby. "Bye, sweet Liam. See you tomorrow, okay?"

"Later, Buff," Xander says, kissing me on the cheek. "See you later, little man," he whispers to Liam, although he's staring up at me and is oblivious to him.

Anya moves closer to the bed, then leans over the baby and stares at him. "Well, I guess it could have been worse."

I give her a look, unsure what she means.

Anya notices my expression. "Well he could have been _ten pounds_!"

I nod. "Yes, it could have definitely been worse."

"Come on, An," Xander says, ushering her to the door. Willow gives me a little wave, then she follows Xander and Anya out the door.

Once alone in the room, Liam makes a little sound, and I smile at him. I think it's finally starting to sink in. _I'm a mother._ "Hi, Liam. Welcome to the world. I'm your mommy."

Liam continues to stare at me, and I wonder what he's thinking. Does he understand I'm his mother? I think on some instinctual level, maybe he does. He's so beautiful, and I can't help but see his father's face reflected right back at me. He does look like Angel.

"You look so much like your daddy. I know he's not here now, but I want you to know that he would be here if he could. He wouldn't have wanted to miss this for anything."

I touch Liam on his cheek, and smile as his face moves toward my hand.

"Your daddy _will_ come home. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but I promise you, I will never stop trying to find a way to bring him back home to us. And when he meets you, he'll love you just as much as I do."

My eyes start to water, and I kiss Liam on the forehead, inhaling the scent of newborn baby. It really does smell like heaven. His eyes close, then flutter back open again. He's sleepy, but he's trying to fight it.

"You know what you are, Liam? You're like the little gift your father left behind for me. And you know what? The day he left, he had been planning a surprise for me. He never got to give me the surprise he was planning, whatever it was. Instead, he gave me something even better, and he didn't even know it. He gave me you. He always was good with giving me gifts, and you're the best one of all."

Liam's eyes finally close, giving up the fight to stay awake and giving in to peaceful slumber. I kiss him again on his forehead.

I can't hold back my tears anymore.

* * *

I wake up sometime in the middle of the night, and it takes me a moment to realize I'm in the hospital and not at home.

I feel a presence with me. The room is dim, but I can see the faint outline of a man with dark hair sitting in the corner chair. And for a moment, I think…

"Angel?"

The moonlight shines through the window, and Xander moves his face into the light.

 _No, not Angel._

"No, sorry, Buff. It's just me."

"I guess I was still dreaming. I didn't know you were still here."

"The nurse, you know, the one who looks like my Aunt Gladys? She said I could stay. She even offered to bring me a cot but I told her the chair was just fine. Besides, it wasn't like I was planning on sleeping anyway."

"You've been keeping an eye on us?"

"Well, sure, someone has to. A hospital's a public place, you know. Vampires need no invitation. Not that I think anyone followed us here, but you can never be sure. I just wanted to make sure you and Liam were safe."

"Thank you, Xander."

"What are friends for?"

Liam starts to whimper in his tiny hospital bed.

"Could you bring the baby to me?"

Xander goes over to the bed and carefully picks up Liam, as if he's afraid he might drop him. "Hey there, little guy. I'm your Uncle Xander. We're going to have a lot of fun together, you and me. And when you get a little older, I'll take you camping in a tent, and we'll watch cartoons and go out for ice cream on the weekends. I'll show you how to build stuff. Maybe I'll even teach you how to ride a skateboard someday."

"Skateboarding? Over my dead body!" I've seen Xander on his skateboard before, and he's not very good at it.

Xander smiles at me. He's teasing me. I hope.

Xander places the baby in my arms. His whimpering has stopped, and his eyes are closed again. "False alarm I guess. I thought he was about start crying but it looks like he's already fallen back to sleep."

"Do you want me to put him back in the bed?"

"No. I want to hold him again anyway."

Xander pulls up a chair and sits beside me while I continue to stare at Liam, seeing his little baby face in the dim light. I think what I'm sure every new mother must think at some point, and that's the fact that my baby is way cuter than everyone else's.

"I can't believe I'm a mom. It's kind of weird when you think about it. This little person actually grew inside of me, and now he's here. And he's completely dependent on me to take care of him and keep him safe."

"You're going to be a great mom, Buff."

"I hope so. You know what I think, Xander?"

"What's that?"

"I think a real baby doesn't even compare to an egg. Not by a long shot."


	14. Mama Bear

**CHAPTER 14 - MAMA BEAR**

Xander is asleep in the recliner when I wake up in the morning. His clothes are rumpled and his hair is sticking up in places where it shouldn't, and I wish I could take a picture of him.

I get out of bed to check on Liam, but I find he too is asleep. I find myself just staring at him for several minutes, almost as if in disbelief that this little person actually grew inside me for nine months. Liam twitches in his sleep, which makes me smile. It's the little things that make me think of his father. Angel twitches in his sleep too.

Figuring the baby will be awake soon, I take the opportunity to go to the bathroom. In the mirror above the sink, I stare at my reflection, trying to see if there's anything visibly different about me, as if someone could look at me and actually tell that I was a mother now. But I look the same, only more tired. I do surprise myself when I see a smile though. It's hard to believe I could smile when I still miss Angel so much.

After freshening up, I step out of the bathroom and see that Xander is awake now. Or just barely awake rather. He smiles at me with tired eyes. "Good morning."

"Morning."

I walk over to Liam and stare at him again. I feel like I could watch him forever sometimes. He makes a little whimper but still appears to be asleep.

Xander walks over to us and stares at Liam too. "You okay?"

"Yeah." I decide to pick Liam up, not being able to resist not holding him any longer. "You know what's funny?"

"What's that?"

"If someone had told me two years ago that I'd have a baby now, I would have looked at them and laughed, maybe would have told them they were crazy for saying that. But now? I can't imagine _not_ having him. And I want to do nothing but love him and keep him safe."

"Well they do say having a baby changes everything."

"Whoever 'they' are, they're right." I take Liam over to the bed so that I can sit down and hold him. "Xander?"

Xander pulls up a chair to the bed and sits down. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for staying last night."

"No problem. I know you hate hospitals. I just didn't think you'd want to be here alone."

Liam whimpers again, and it's about this time that his eyelids start to flutter. "Oh, look. He's opening his eyes."

Liam's eyes slowly open. He seems content as he looks at me, his little mind working hard at trying to figure out his surroundings.

"Hi, baby boy. Good morning."

"You know you're talking baby talk, right?"

"Shut up, Xander. I can't help it. It just comes out. You were doing it too last night, you know."

"Was not."

"Oh, so you're going to deny it now?"

"I plead the fifth."

The lactation consultant comes to see me shortly after, and Xander quietly makes his exit, presumably to the cafeteria. When he returns later though, I realize he must have gone home. He's changed his clothes, and in his hand, he holds a paper bag from a fast food restaurant.

"Please tell me that's for me," I say as I pick at the rubbery eggs on my breakfast tray. "The only one who seems to be getting a good breakfast around this joint is Liam." I nod to the little bed, Liam fast asleep after I nursed him.

"Breakfast is served," Xander says, placing the paper bag before me.

"Thanks, Xander. I don't think I can stomach any more hospital food."

"I had to sneak it past the nurse outside. She kept giving me the evil eye."

"Here, hide the evidence." I take the biscuit out of the bag and crumble it up. I give it to Xander to throw away.

"Buffy Summers?" a nurse says, poking her head into the doorway, her eyes on the chart in front of her. I quickly stow my food away under the pillow.

Xander points to her. " _That's her,"_ he mouths.

The nurse looks up from her chart, staring at me, then at the baby. "I'm going to take your baby to the nursery now."

"What? Why? The nurse last night said he could stay here in the room with me."

"We just need to run some tests."

"Why do you need to run tests on him? He's just fine!"

"Because the state of California requires it, ma'am."

"Well can't you do the tests here?"

"No. I have to take him to the nursery."

"Well I'm going with you!" I start to get out of bed, but the nurse halts me with her arm.

"Ma'am, you just had a baby. Please rest. Besides, it'll only be just a few minutes."

"No! You're not going anywhere with my baby without me! How do I even know you're a real nurse who works here? I've never seen you before!"

"How about I go?" Xander suggests.

The nurse eyes him up and down. "You the father?"

"No. I'm…the baby's uncle."

"Please let him go with you!" I beg the nurse.

The nurse ponders this for a moment, then sighs. "Alright, fine."

"Thank you," I mouth to Xander.

He nods, then follows the nurse out of the room, Liam in tow.

I don't feel like eating now. I miss Liam already.

* * *

A short while later, the door opens. For a moment, I think it's the nurse bringing Liam back, but the appearance of several blue balloons tells me otherwise.

Willow pokes her head into the doorway. "Good morning!"

"Hey, Will."

Willow walks in, holding the balloons, and Oz follows her inside.

"Hey, Buffy," he says, giving me a smile. "Heard you became a mother last night."

"Yeah, I did. Seven pounds, six ounces, all boy."

"Where is the little guy?" Willow asks, looking around.

"The nurse took him away to run some tests. I made her take Xander with her."

Willow and Oz each pull up a chair to the bed and sit down.

"So, how are you feeling?" Willow asks me.

"Physically? I'm fine. Emotionally? Happy, sad, overwhelmed, nervous, unsure how I'm going to do this…"

"You'll be fine," Oz says with a nod. "You'll be a great mom."

"You really think so?"

"Of course, Buffy!" Willow says. "You'll be an amazing mother!"

"When do you get to go home?" Oz asks.

"Soon I hope. I'm hoping when Mom comes later they'll just let me go home with her."

Outside in the hallway, a baby's crying. It sounds like Liam, and a few seconds later, the nurse returns, wheeling him into the room with Xander following behind.

"See, he's back in one piece, just like I promised." The nurse gives me a look before leaving the room.

Liam's still crying loudly, and I jump out of bed to go over to him. "What did she do to him? He looks traumatized!"

"She poked and prodded him with needles," Xander says. "He didn't like that too much."

"And he _just_ fell asleep!" I scoop Liam into my arms, holding him close to me as I kiss his little head. "Oh, Liam, I'm so sorry you had to go with that mean ole nurse."

I bounce Liam gently in my arms, and his crying finally subsides.

"See, look at that," Oz says. "You're a natural. He's already stopped crying."

"You should have seen Buffy with the nurse. She went all 'mama bear' on her."

"You don't think I was being totally unreasonable, do you?"

"Nah. She was rude anyway."

"She's lucky I didn't bring out my fists."

* * *

Althea puts a plate of food on the table and joins Roman and I for lunch.

"How's the progress going at Miller's Store?" she asks.

Roman nods. "Very well. I imagine by next week we'll be finished with the job. If the snow doesn't hold us back, that is. Then we'll move on to rebuilding some of the homes."

"And, Angel? How's the training going?"

"Good, but I think it's important to start training a few more men. We've got a great group, but I'll need an army."

The sound of children outside distract Althea from our conversation. She glances at the clock and frowns. "It's not time for the children to be home from school." As Althea walks to the door, her three children walk in.

"Mother!"

"Children, you should be in school now. Why are you home so early?"

"The schoolhouse lost electricity," Andromeda explains. "Teacher sent us home. It was too cold."

"And Teacher didn't have any firewood to make a fire," Myles adds.

Serena holds her gloved hands up.

"Alright then. Well go sit by the fire in the living room and warm up, then come into the kitchen for some lunch. Maybe the school will be reopen tomorrow."

The children shuffle into the living room, and Althea joins us back into the kitchen.

"That's a little odd," she says. "Why would the schoolhouse lose electricity? You don't think…"

Althea doesn't need to finish her question. We all suspect the Invaders have something to do with it.

* * *

Anticipating a cold night and the possibility of losing power, Roman and I gather extra firewood as well as firewood for some of the other villagers.

We pass one of Roman's neighbors, an elderly man everyone affectionately calls Old Man Hogan, as he takes his afternoon walk.

"How are you on firewood, Hogan?" Roman asks him.

"I'm fine. Give that wood to some of these other families. Heard the schoolhouse lost power."

"Yes, afraid so," he replies.

"Maybe we should deliver some of this firewood to the schoolhouse?" I suggest.

Roman nods. "Good idea. See you later, Hogan."

When we arrive at the schoolhouse, we find the teacher, a young woman with pink hair and skin waiting outside in an obvious panic. Roman stops the horses and calls out to her. "Ms. Appleby, is everything alright?"

"Oh, Mr. Roman, Mr. Angel! I'm glad to see you both! Someone was supposed to come out to look at the power problem, but that was two hours ago. Do either of you know anything about circuit breakers?"

"We could take a look at it," I tell her. "Where's the power box?"

Ms. Appleby leads us back inside the schoolhouse and around back. Roman and I examine the electric panel, but everything seems to be in order.

"This is what I suspected," Roman says. "It doesn't appear there's a problem with the breaker."

"Which means the power to the school has been shut off."

"Shut off?" Ms. Appleby stares at us. "Why…that's impossible. The school board pays for the electric bill and I highly doubt they would miss a payment. Especially in the dead of winter."

"We don't think the problem is with the electric bill," I tell her, and her eyes widen with understanding.

"Why would the Invaders cut off power to the schoolhouse? These are children. They're innocent."

Roman shrugs. "I don't have an answer for that. Perhaps the same reason they have decided to limit our food supply. Angel and I will leave adequate firewood so that you may have school in the morning. In the meantime, you should make preparations at home in the event they shut off all electricity. Do you have firewood?"

"No. I would be so grateful. Thank you. But do you really think they would do that?"

"I wouldn't put it past them," Roman answers.

* * *

In the hospital lobby, the orderly makes me sit in a wheelchair as I wait for my ride. In my arms, Liam sleeps, and I still can't get over how amazing it is that he's actually mine. I keep waiting for someone to stop me, tell me there's been some kind of mistake. But no, no mistake. I'm actually a mother now.

"Oh my goodness, what a beautiful baby!" A nurse I've never seen before leans over me to take a look at Liam.

"Thank you."

"Oh he's so precious! What's his name?"

"Liam."

"Oh how cute! Are you going home today?"

"Yeah, just waiting for my ride. Oh, there he is."

The sliding glass doors open and Xander walks in. The nurse takes one more look at Liam and then heads back to her station.

"Hey, your mom's got the car pulled up. Ready to go? Or do you want to stay here a little longer?"

"Get us both out of here!"

While Xander lets the orderly know we're ready to go, an oddly dressed man stumbles into the hospital. When he gets closer, I realize he's actually a monk, and he makes a beeline toward me whenever he spots me.

"The key! The key! You must protect the key!"

The man grabs the arm of my wheelchair, and I move to the other side, hoping to keep Liam as far away from him as possible.

"We gave it to you to protect! You must always…keep the key…safe."

Before the man passes out, the orderly rushes over and pulls the man away from me. Seconds later, he does actually pass out, and they load him up on a gurney and take him away.

"Is Liam okay?" Xander asks.

I look down at Liam, who was unaware of the drama that just unfolded. "He's fine. What the heck was that all about?"

"Nothing I'm sure. He's probably just a few fries short of a happy meal."

"Weird. Can we go now?"

* * *

At home, Liam sleeps in his bassinet, totally oblivious to the five pairs of eyes ogling over him.

"He doesn't really do much, does he?" Oz asks me.

A grin is plastered to my face as I stare at my son, unable to tear my eyes away from him. "No. This is pretty much it."

"Well he poops a lot too," Xander adds. "And he's always hungry when he's awake."

"Hey, just like you, Xander," Anya remarks.

"Kid after my own heart," he says with a laugh.

"He's so cute, Buffy!" Willow says. "He's like a cute little old man." She then looks up, seeing us all suddenly staring at her. "Well you know, they're both bald!"

Dawn walks over to us and wedges herself between me and Willow. "He still looks like a cone-head to me."

I elbow my sister sharply and glare at her. "Dawn, stop calling him that!"

"Hey, she's right," Anya says. "His head _does_ look like a cone."

Dawn looks up at me, a smug smile on her face. "See? I'm not the only one who can see it."

"My baby has a perfectly normal-shaped head!"

"Actually, it is kind of squished a little," Willow says. "But don't worry! That's normal. It's from being pushed through the birth canal. It should round itself out soon enough. I think it's kind of cute actually."

"No, I think it'll stay that way," Dawn says. "He has to have something weird about him. Like mother, like son, he's a freak of nature."

"Don't you have some homework to do?" I ask her.

"Fine. I don't want to be around you guys anyway. You all smell like baby vomit." Dawn walks away and storms up the stairs.

"Ignore my sister. She's being more annoying than usual lately. I think she's just jealous she's not the baby of the house anymore."

"I don't smell like baby vomit!" Anya insists. "Do I?"

"No, I don't smell baby vomit," Willow says as she sticks her head into the bassinet. "All I smell is that sweet baby smell."

"What is that smell, anyway?" Xander asks, poking his head into the bassinet next to Willow.

"Heaven," I say with a smile.

* * *

Two days after the schoolhouse lost power, the entire village loses power. Althea brings out several oil lamps and candles, which reminds me of my days back in Ireland, and goes about lighting up the dark house.

I feel a gentle tug on my shirt and look to see Serena sitting beside me. The child looks scared, so I gather her into my arms and place her on my lap. "I know the dark is scary, but it's alright. This is how it used to be when I was your age."

"In the dark?"

"Yeah, in the dark. I didn't grow up with electricity."

Andromeda looks up at me from the floor, the light from the fire reflecting off her bright pink hair. "You had no electricity?"

"Yeah, but we were used to it. Just as long as we have plenty of oil and firewood to stay warm, we'll be just fine."

"And quilts," Althea says as she opens up the trunk in the living room and pulls out several quilts. "It'll be bitter cold tonight. We might just need these."

Althea was right. Later as I settled into bed, the freezing temperatures made me shiver. I should have been used to it, all the days I spent in cold Ireland and as a vampire, but it's hard to go back to living that way. Especially after living in California for so long.

It's nights like these that I miss Buffy the most. I miss the feel of her warm body next to mine, keeping each other warm with our body heat. I wonder what she's doing right now.

* * *

I gently rock Liam in the chair as his little head rests on my shoulders. He's asleep now, and I probably should put him in the bassinet, but I don't want to let him go. I just want to enjoy this moment for a little longer. I love the way he curls up against me, like he instinctively knows that I'm the one that's going to protect him.

Across the room, the moonlight illuminates Angel's picture on my dresser, which only makes me miss him more. I wish he was here right now. Then everything in my life would be perfect for once.

* * *

A/N: I know, I brought Dawn into the story. You're going to hate me now, right? Because she's probably the most hated character on the show after Riley, am I right? I guess I'm in the minority. I always liked her, though yes, she can be whiny and annoying. But I'm a little sister too so maybe I could relate to her. :) But it'll be a while before I bring Glory into the story. I'm doing things different than how they were on the show.

Also, if updates are sparse for the next couple of weeks, it's because I'm in the middle of moving right now. So my days are pretty much filled with putting stuff into boxes, cleaning, moving stuff, unpacking, and being stressed out in general because moving is a pain. Hopefully when I get settled into my new place, I'll be able to update more often.

Thanks for reading. :)


	15. Piece of My Heart

**CHAPTER 15 – PIECE OF MY HEART**

 _March 25, 2001_

 _Angel,_

 _I had a dream about you last night._

 _It was two in the morning, and there you were, standing in front of my open window. You were still a vampire, which should have been my first clue that this was a dream, but for some reason, the thought didn't register. And in your arms, you held our son._

 _At first, you didn't see me. I just watched you for a moment, watching you watch Liam. He's a very fussy baby, but in your arms, he was calm._

 _Finally you looked up, realizing I was awake, and you smiled at me. And then you said, "I'm home, Buffy."_

 _I woke up to Liam's whimpering soon after, and realized I had only been dreaming._

* * *

Liam isn't happy.

He doesn't care for laying down on a colorful blanket with a mobile of dancing lights and music above his head. I pick him up off the floor and walk him around the living room for a while. Liam likes to be held. I think it makes him feel safe. Truth be told, holding him makes me feel better too.

After several minutes of pacing, Liam's screaming finally calms down to a whimper, and I, exhausted, sit down on the couch.

I hold Liam in front of me, standing him up on his curled feet, and stare at him. He truly is a beautiful baby, and I don't say that just because I'm his mother. I see so much of his father in him.

I kiss him on his forehead and make silly faces at him, but at the moment, he seems more interested in his hand, shoving his little fist into his mouth. I notice the front of his onesie is soaked. He's been slobbering all over it.

"Are you finally calm enough to eat now?"

Liam stares at me, continuing to suck on his fist.

I decide he is, and grab the nursing pillow beside me. I adjust the pillow underneath Liam and while holding him, unbutton my shirt with one hand and undo the snap on my bra. It's taken me two months, but I think I've finally gotten the hang of this nursing business.

Liam latches on, and he suddenly seems very content, and I smile, forgetting for a second how sad I always am.

"Oh gross," Dawn mutters as she walks into the living room. "Do you have to do that _here_?"

"This is me feeding my son. If it grosses you out, you can leave the room."

"I just don't know why you have to do that in front of everyone and not upstairs in your bedroom behind a closed door."

"I was in the living room _by myself_ until you barged in!"

Dawn rolls her eyes. "Whatever," she says, then heads upstairs.

I look back down at Liam, seeing him still happily suckling away. "Just ignore your Auntie Dawn," I whisper. "She just doesn't get it. Maybe one day when she becomes a mother, she'll understand."

* * *

On Saturday afternoon, I check the mail and find a card from Cordelia. I find this a little unusual, since Cordelia's not exactly the card-type person, and usually if she has something to tell me, she just calls.

I shrug and gather the rest of the mail and head back inside. The card keeps tugging at my attention though, so I sit down on the couch and tear it open.

 _Buffy,_

 _Thanks for the pictures of Liam. He's such an adorable baby! I can see a lot of Angel in him._

 _By the way, I found these pictures I forgot I had. Thought you'd like to have them._

 _Take care,_

 _Cordelia_

Inside the envelope, I find the pictures Cordelia mentioned in her note. I pull them out and look at them one by one. Angel and I in Santa Monica, the giant ferris wheel serving as a backdrop. Another one of Angel and I walking along the beach at sunset, holding hands. Another one of us kissing. A group shot of me, Angel, Cordelia, and Doyle.

A tear starts to sting my eye, and I wipe it away, struggling to gain my composure. I cannot break down like this every time I think of Angel. I have to stop being so emotional, but I don't know if I can.

There's a shuffling noise near the staircase, and I turn to see Dawn standing in the doorway, staring at me. My sister and I have done nothing but fight for weeks. Well, not that us fighting is anything new, but ever since I brought Liam home, things have been more intense. So she surprises me when she sits next to me by the couch, looking at me like she's concerned.

"Hey. Are you okay, Buffy?"

I don't say anything, the answer to her question already obvious, and instead, hand her the photographs. "Cordelia sent me these."

Dawn looks through the pictures. "When did you guys go to the pier?"

"Thanksgiving weekend. You know, after Angel and I finally managed to drag ourselves out of bed and put some clothes on."

Dawn raises an eyebrow at me, and I realize what I just said.

"I probably shouldn't have said that. Sorry. Highly inappropriate conversation to be having with my little sister."

Dawn rolls her eyes. "Buffy, I'm not nine years old. I know you guys had sex, otherwise how would Liam be here?"

"Right. I guess you really are growing up."

"Duh."

Dawn turns back to the photograph in her hand, staring at the one with the four of us.

"Some stranger offered to take that picture for us. He thought we were tourists. We had such a blast that day. And Angel rode the ferris wheel for the first time. He loved it. He was like a kid and wanted to ride it again." I laugh at the memory, surprised I could laugh when I feel so sad.

Dawn hands the photos back to me and I browse through them again, pausing at the one of us holding hands, staring at each other like some image from a movie. I hadn't even known Cordelia snapped that picture.

"That's a really good picture," Dawn says. "Who took that one?"

"Cordelia. We went walking on the beach after we left the pier. And Doyle's arms were all laden with stuffed animals he had won, and Cordelia was taking pictures of everything. And Angel and I were just…enjoying the sun setting over the water."

"I know you miss him, Buffy."

I nod, putting the pictures back into the envelope. "Every day. I feel like when Angel left, a piece of my heart broke off." I look at Dawn with my teary eyes, seeing that same look of sisterly concern on her face. "And until Angel comes back, my heart will never be whole again."

Now I really start to cry, and Dawn wraps her arms around me, hugging and holding on to me for a while as I lean on her shoulder and sob. It's only the sound of a familiar whimper though that pulls my attention back to the present. Across the room, I can see Liam squirming in his playpen, awake from his nap apparently. Seconds later, he's screaming at the top of his lungs.

"I'll get him," Dawn says, standing up before I even have a chance to.

She walks across the room and reaches for Liam. "Come here you little cone-head." Dawn's nickname for Liam has stuck, even though his head has rounded out now. I don't get upset about it anymore since she now calls him that out of affection rather than insult.

Dawn paces across the living room a few times, bouncing Liam in her arms like she's seen me and our mom do a dozen times. After several minutes, Liam finally calms down.

"Okay, I got him to stop crying. Now what do I do with him?" Dawn stares at me, hopelessly confused at what to do with him next.

I wipe the tears away and hold out my arms. "Bring him here."

Dawn places him into my arms, then returns to her place on the couch. In my arms, Liam slowly begins to drift off to sleep again, and Dawn nosily picks up the card from Cordelia and takes a peek.

I kiss Liam on his head, inhaling his sweet baby scent, and Dawn leans against my shoulder. "You know what?" she says. "He really does favor Angel."

* * *

I wait until Willow goes to class before heading to the dorms. I think Tara will be there, but I'm not sure. I'm hoping at least.

On the second floor, I find room 214, Willow and Tara's dorm, and knock on the door. A few moments later, Tara answers.

"Oh, hey, Buffy."

"Hey, Tara."

"Oh…Willow's not here right now. She just left for class."

"I know. I was actually coming to see you. Do you have a few minutes?"

Tara nods. "Yeah, sure. Come on in. Oh wait, you're not allergic to cats, are you?"

"No. Why?"

"Okay, good. Come in."

Tara ushers me into the room. Behind the door, a black and white kitten is playing with a shoelace, and Tara scoops the kitten into her arms. "This is Miss Kitty Fantastico. She followed me home yesterday."

"Aww, she's adorable." I reach out and give the little kitty a scratch under her chin, who purrs in response. "I didn't think students were allowed to keep animals in the dorms."

"Oh, we're not. I'm sure I'd get in trouble if anyone found out about her."

"Don't worry, I won't say anything."

Tara places the kitten on her bed and sits down at her desk. "So what brings you by?"

I sit down on the bed, and Miss Kitty rubs her head against my hand, obviously wanting me to pet her some more. "Well, I was sort of hoping you could help me with a spell."

"Sure, I'd be glad to help. But um…I have to ask. Why did you come to me instead of Willow? Not that I mind helping you! I just figured you'd go to her first."

"I already have gone to Willow. She's helped me about as much as she can, but I can't ask her to do this for me again."

"Oh, well if Willow couldn't do it, then I'm sure I couldn't either! She's way more advanced than me!"

"Yeah, but sometimes it helps having another set of eyes, you know? Plus, I'm starting to think Willow doesn't believe Angel will ever come back, which I'm sure doesn't exactly help."

"Oh, so this is about trying to bring your boyfriend home?"

"Yeah. I guess Will told you all about it, huh?"

"Yeah, she mentioned it. But, Buffy, I don't know what else I could do. If Willow's exhausted every option…"

"I just want you to look. Maybe you could find something Willow may have overlooked. I'm not ready to give up on Angel. If he never comes back, I want to at least be able to tell my son that I tried everything I could to bring his father back home. Please, Tara, can you help me?"

"Sure, of course I will. But you understand I can't make any guarantees, right?"

"I understand. If you could just see if you could find something, I would really appreciate it."

"Tell you what…give me a few days to study this, and maybe by the end of the week I'll have something for you."

"Thank you so much, Tara."

"Sure, anytime."

I gather my purse, give the kitty one last scratch, and stand up. "Well, I have to go. Liam is down for his nap right now. He'll probably be waking up soon and he'll be hungry again."

"Okay. I'll give you a call when I have something."

"That would be great. And Tara?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you maybe not mention any of this to Willow? I don't want things to be awkward between us."

"No problem. My lips are sealed."

* * *

Liam sucks on his pacifier as he sleeps in my arms. It had taken ten minutes of him screaming his lungs out for me to finally figure out what he wanted. A pacifier. Thank god for it.

Tara should be here any moment, and I contemplate whether or not I have time to put Liam to bed before she gets here when there's a knock at the door. Too late I guess. I stand up from my spot on the couch, being careful not to jostle Liam awake again, and carry him over to the door to answer it.

Tara stands on the other side, and she gives me a little wave. "Hey, Buffy."

"Hey, Tara. Come in."

She walks in and her gaze immediately shifts to Liam. "Aww, how precious. He's getting cuter by the minute, Buffy. He's so adorable."

"Thank you."

Tara glances around the room. "Is your mom around?"

"Actually, no. You couldn't have picked a better time to come over. Mom's in San Francisco this weekend. Some art thing for her work. And my little sister is spending the night with a friend. We have the place to ourselves."

"Okay, good. I just wanted to make sure we wouldn't be interrupted. And also, sometimes witchcraft makes parents a little uncomfortable."

"Yes, my mom's definitely one of those types. She's still adjusting to the fact that I'm a slayer. Hey, do you mind if I take a few minutes to put Liam in his crib? I was hoping to have him down before you got here, but he was being fussy earlier. I _just_ got him to sleep."

"Oh sure, I don't mind at all. In fact, take your time. And while you go do that, I'll set things up."

"Okay, great."

I go upstairs and put Liam to bed, relieved that he doesn't wake up again, and return downstairs a few minutes later. Tara's in the dining room lighting some candles on the table. A colorful scarf serves as a table cover, and I see several small stones in the middle.

Tara glances at me when she hears me come in. "I'm just about ready."

"Do you need me to do anything?"

Tara shakes her head. "No, I'm almost done. Just have a seat right there if you would."

I sit down, and Tara takes the chair across the table.

"So, how does this spell work exactly?"

"First of all, Buffy, I need to be honest with you, because I don't want you to get your hopes up. This spell isn't going to bring Angel back."

"I don't understand. You seemed so excited about it on the phone. I thought—"

"Let me rephrase what I was going to say. I can't bring Angel back _right now_ , and the reason is because we don't really know where he is."

"So this is some kind of locator spell?"

"Kind of. You know what a séance is, right?"

"Yeah. Is this what this is?"

"Sort of. It's similar. This spell is going to open up a channel of communication, but instead of communicating with the dead, it's going to communicate with the living."

"You mean…I might be able to talk to Angel?"

Tara nods. "Yes, that's exactly what I mean."

"Oh my god."

"You see, if we can communicate with Angel, he can give us a clue as to where he is, and if we know where he is, it'll be much easier to try to bring him home."

"Tara, this is amazing. How does this work? What do I need to do?"

"Well first, we must hold hands." Tara reaches across the table and takes hold of my hands "Next, I want you to think of Angel. Really concentrate on him and focus on trying to communicate with him. I'll do the rest."

"So how will he talk to us? Will we hear his voice or will it just be in my mind?"

"You won't hear his voice. You see these little stones here in the middle of our circle?"

"Yeah."

"If the spell works correctly, these stones will be arranged to spell out a message. So whatever we ask him, his answer is going to be short. So, are you ready?"

Buffy nodded. "I'm ready."

"Close your eyes. It's easier to concentrate that way."

I close my eyes and think of Angel as Tara begins speaking in Latin.

I think of Angel disappearing into the portal, the look on his face as it swallowed him whole. I wonder where he is now. Is he hurt? Is he okay? Is he missing me as much as I am missing him? Is he fighting to get back to me?

"Angel?" Tara says, gripping my hands a little tighter. "If you can hear us, we're trying to find you. Please give us a clue as to where you are now."

I open my eyes and stare at the stones between us. "Nothing's happened."

"Angel?" Tara repeats. "If you can hear us, please give us some sort of sign. Please tell us where you are."

We wait for another moment, but still, the stones do not move.

"Why aren't they moving? Does this take a long time?" I ask.

"They should have already moved."

"But they didn't. So what does that mean?"

"It means one of two things. Either the spell didn't work, or Angel's unable to make contact with us."

"Unable to make contact?" I can see in her eyes what that really means. It means that Angel's dead, but Tara doesn't say it.

"I probably just did the spell wrong. Or maybe this spell just isn't meant to communicate between dimensions. I'm sorry, Buffy."

"No, it's okay. You tried. I really appreciate you helping me."

Tara begins to gather her things, and I help her.

"We can try it again later if you want," she tells me.

"No, that's okay. I'll just look for another option."

"Okay, just let me know if I can help."

"I will. Thank you, Tara."

Tara gathers the last of her things and heads to the door. I see her out.

"Goodnight," she says.

"Goodnight." I stand in the doorway, make sure she gets to her car safely, and close the door behind me. I then sink down to the floor. I can't hold back my tears anymore.

I had been so sure this would work, and now, I'm not sure of anything at all.


	16. Fear

**CHAPTER 16 – FEAR**

A piercing siren pulls me out of a restless sleep. I've never heard the siren go off before, but I know exactly what it means: dragon sighting.

I hear Roman and Althea running through the house as I leave the bedroom. Althea ushers Myles and Andromeda into the basement panic room, holding a flashlight to guide them. I head there myself as Roman carries a crying Serena in his arms. Once we're all accounted for, Roman hands Serena over to her mother and barricades the door.

Once inside, Althea huddles together with her three children. The girls are crying. Myles tries to be brave, though I can see the fear in his eyes.

"We'll be safe here," Roman says. "This room is fireproof."

I sit down next to Althea and the children, trying to think of a way to calm them. "Hey, it'll be okay. You know, I once went toe to toe with one of those things."

Myles stares at me incredulously. "You did?"

"Yeah."

"Were you scared?" he asks.

"Terrified. I ran away from him. He chased me all the way to the river. Good thing too because my pants were on fire."

Andromeda's sobs subside, and she looks at me with the same, fearful look as her brother. "My friend Sandy…her house was burned last time. What if the dragon burns everything down?"

"That would be very sad. But you know what? It would be even more sad if anything happened to you, or any of us. As long as we have each other, we can get through it."

Andromeda nods and wipes the tears away from her eyes.

"I hate dragons," Myles says. "I wish they'd go away."

"Me too," Andromeda says.

"So how long should we expect to be down here?" I ask Roman.

"Depends," Roman answers, crouching down beside us. "If the dragon flies back to the woods, it may be just a matter of minutes. But if the dragon sticks around for a while, we could be down here for several hours. We just have to wait for the all clear from authorities."

Fortunately, our wait is not too long. After ten minutes, the siren stops, alerting us that the threat of the dragon has passed. Unfortunately, the children's fear has not.

"What if the dragon comes back?" Andromeda asks.

"Can't we just sleep in the panic room where it's safe?" Myles asks.

Serena doesn't speak, but seems very reluctant to go back to her room.

Althea ushers the children toward their bedrooms. "Now, children, I know you're still scared, but we can't let fear rule our lives. Back to bed now, come on. They'll turn on the siren again if the dragon comes back."

The children reluctantly say their goodnights and head back to their rooms.

"I hate doing that," Althea says to me. "But if this is going to be their life from now on, they're going to have to get used to it. We can't let fear paralyze us."

"No, we can't."

"Speaking of fear," Roman says, "I'm going to check and see what the situation is outside."

"Be careful, Roman," Althea says as Roman heads outside.

"You know, that was the first dragon alert I've been through. Which is a little surprising. I kind of figured they would happen more often."

"They appear to be more dormant in the colder months. But as soon as the weather starts to warm, I'm sure they'll be more of a threat. And I'm afraid they'll only become more frequent as time passes."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I imagine they're breeding. And as the population grows, I fear so will the attacks."

"Then we need to find a way to put a stop to that."

A frantic pounding on the door interrupts us, and Althea races over to see who it is. Outside, a group of men are standing on the doorstep.

"Bring him in!" Althea shouts to them as they carry one of their own inside.

"What's wrong with him?" I ask.

"He's badly burned," says one of the men. "He was on watch when the dragon surprised him."

Althea nods to the table. "Lay him on the table. Where was he burned?"

The man groans as one of the other men raises his torn shirt and pants leg, showing Althea the extent of the injury.

"Shouldn't we take him to the hospital?"

Althea looks up at me. "I am the hospital. Grab me that kit over there!"

She points to a bag on the shelf. I hand it to her and she immediately zips it open, pulling out various bandages, gauze, and an assortment of ointments. "What's this man's name?" she asks one of the men.

"Spencer."

"Mr. Spencer, it's going to be alright. You have two serious burns but we're going to take care of you."

"Mother? What's going on?"

Althea glances briefly at Andromeda who is standing outside the kitchen. "Andromeda, get back to bed!"

"No, I want to help!"

Althea relents and points to the shelf. "Grab that basin. Fill it with cold water. Now!"

Andromeda nods and hurriedly attends to the task.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Fetch me a spoon." She holds up a bottle of red liquid medicine. "He's going to want to be asleep for this."

* * *

I give my bed up for the night as the wounded man recovers. By mid-morning, he's still sleeping, though it's a restless sleep as he moans every now and then.

"Is he going to be alright?"

Althea watches the man from the doorway. "I think so, but it will take his flesh wounds a while to heal."

"It looked like his injuries were pretty serious."

"Yes, they were, but we have plants and herbs you do not have in your world that do remarkable things for burn wounds."

"Did you always use herbs, or did you use magic to heal before?"

"I've always used the herbs. As wonderful as magic is, it doesn't mix with medicine, as they do not in your world either."

The front door opens and Roman enters with a man I've never seen before, though he looks very similar to Roman.

"Conan." Althea rushes over to the man and pulls him into her embrace. "It's so wonderful to see you! We've been so worried about you!"

"I know. I apologize about that, but the Invaders have cut off all means of communication. I suppose you did not get my letters as well, have you?"

Althea shakes her head. "No, not at all."

"I figured as much."

Roman motions me over to introduce us. "Angel, this is my cousin Conan. He lives in another one of the districts. Conan, this is the man I told you about."

"It's a pleasure meeting you," Conan says to me, extending his hand to shake mine.

"Likewise."

"How about some coffee for everyone?" Althea doesn't wait for an answer and heads into the kitchen.

"Why don't we sit down?" Roman suggests. "It's been a long time, cousin. I want to hear how you have been."

"Not well, Roman," he says as the three of us sit down. "I had to leave when it was dark and walk for a very long time to get here. If they find out I left, I will surely be punished."

"Then you shouldn't have taken the risk of being here at all!" Roman says.

"I know, cousin, but I had to see how you and the family were doing, and to warn you."

"Warn us about what?" I ask.

"The Invaders, of course."

"What have they done?" Roman asks.

"They've put us to work, every one of us. Even the children and elderly. Essie too." Conan glances in my direction. "That's my wife."

"Doing what kind of work?" I ask him.

"All kinds of slave labor, but mostly working the crops. Or servant work. My poor Essie has been sent away to work as a maid for one of those filthy beasts. And the school has long since been shut down."

Roman frowns. "I don't like the sound of this."

"What has the Invader presence been like here?" Conan asks.

"Getting worse," Roman answers. "The electricity has been shut off for months."

"And they ration the food supplies," I add. "But at least they leave us alone for the most part. The children are still in school."

Conan shakes his head. "They won't be for long. I have a feeling things will get worse for us all."

Althea returns to the living room with a tray full of steaming mugs. She places the tray on the table and hands us each a cup.

"Darling, Conan has been telling us of what the conditions are back in his district."

"How is it?"

"We're slaves, and they've captured Essie."

"They've got Essie?"

Conan nods. "Please, you have to help. I've tried, but failed to rescue her. I fear for her safety. Angel, can you help?"

"Don't worry, we'll get her back."

* * *

Conan, weary after his journey, rests while I pull Roman aside.

"Roman, this is a bigger problem than I thought."

"Yes, the situation is quite serious. I fear my cousin is right. If things in his district are like he describes, then it's only a matter of time before things become like that here."

"We can't let that happen."

"But we're not ready to fight them, Angel. People are scared. We're unprepared."

"Then we go to plan B. We go into hiding."

"I don't understand."

"Think, Roman. Is there anywhere in Astoria where people can hide?"

"The forest is too dangerous. I will not bring my wife and children there."

"No, I agree. But there must be some place. Roman, if we can't get people out of Astoria and away from the Invaders, then we need a good hiding place."

"I know of one." Althea stands in the doorway, having overheard our conversation. "We can hide in the Mountain District."

"Is that the district that was destroyed?"

"Althea, there's nothing there," Roman says. "Most of the place is level from the fires."

"On the contrary. You forget that the Mountain District has an extensive underground system. They used to mine for crystals there."

"Are any Invaders there?" I ask.

Roman shakes his head. "Not likely."

"Althea, what's this underground system like? Would it be big enough to accommodate a large group of people?"

"Oh yes, I'm quite certain. It spans the entire district and more."

"That's perfect then. I think that'll work."

"I have a concern," Roman says.

"What's that?"

"I believe it's a good idea, but I'm uncertain how we'll get people there without bringing attention to the Watchmen."

"Good point. Well, we'll start small then. We'll scout out the place first and make sure everything is safe and to set things up. Then we'll send families there a few at the time. After dark, of course."

"Not everyone will want to go," Althea says. "Though they're terrified of the Invaders, the thought of what may happen to them if they're caught terrifies them more."

"Well then, we'll just have to make sure none of us are caught."

* * *

Conan joins our hunting group that night. As soon as night falls, we slip out of the house. When we meet up with the others, we head to the Mountain District on foot.

Walker, who seems hesitant, keeps glancing over his shoulder. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" he asks me.

"The way I see it, it's the only choice we have."

"Shh," Hornsby warns. "Keep your voices down. You never know who might be watching us."

"Hornby's right," Roman says. "We mustn't drawn attention to ourselves."

We continue the rest of the way in silence, only whispering if a strange noise alerts us. Fortunately, the only creatures out tonight appear to be the animals.

The Mountain District is a good hike away. It would have been faster on horseback, but taking the horses would have been too suspicious. Finally about an hour or so, we make it there.

From the top of the hill where we stand, I can see down into the valley below. The full moon above illuminates the extent of the destruction. The entire village lays in a heap of rubble, as if a tornado blew through here. Most of the remains of the houses are charred.

Conan steps forward, his jaw dropped. "I've seen a neighborhood destroyed like this, but never a whole village."

"Most of the destruction you see here is from the invaders," Roman tells him. "Not just the work of the dragons."

"This is terrible. I'm amazed anyone got out alive."

"Only a few," Carter says.

"Well, Angel?" Grayer asks me, as if looking for direction on what to do next. "What do you suggest we do here?"

"The underground tunnels. Where are they?"

"I can show you to them," says Brutus as he steps forward. "A buddy of mine used to work there."

I nod at Brutus. "Lead the way."

We all fall in line, following Brutus as he leads us to the tunnels.

As we walk, Grayer sidles up next to me. "Angel, I don't mean to question your reason, but what makes you think we could possibly be safe here? Look what happened to the others here before us."

"I understand your fear, but I'm guessing the attack on them was a surprise. Correct?"

"It happened in the middle of night," Brutus says, overhearing our conversation. "Most of the people were sleeping."

"We have an advantage," I tell the men. "We'll be on guard all the time. And if your families are underground, they have a better chance of staying safe."

Flashlights become necessary when we arrive at the tunnel entrance. It reminds me of the sewers back at home, though without the smells of course. Instead, it smells earthy here, and a bit dusty from the dirt.

"What exactly are we looking for?" Carter asks me.

"If we're going to hide here, and possibly _live_ here for a while, we need to make sure this place is safe. And we need to make sure we can find some adequate living space."

"That shouldn't be a problem," Brutus tells me. "There's hundreds of bunkers down here."

"Bunkers?"

"Yeah. The guys who used to work down here set up living quarters. Once you're in the tunnel, it's a long walk out. Some of the men would take weekly shifts."

"Well that's perfect then. It makes me wonder why the people who lived here didn't hide down here before."

"Oh, these tunnels haven't been used in a couple years," Brutus says. "I'm sure if they knew they were going to be attacked, this is the first place they would go."

"What about the entrances?" Walker asks. "Is there just this one?"

"No, there's more than one. And that could be a problem."

"More entry points to protect," I say, finishing his thought.

Brutus nods. "Exactly."

"Looks like we're coming up on a fork," Roman says, pointing his flashlight up ahead.

"Why don't we split up?" I suggest. "We'll cover more ground that way."

The men nod, and we all agree to meet back at the fork. While Roman, Conan, Hornsby, and Grayer take the west tunnel, Brutus, Carter, Walker, and I take the east tunnel.

My flashlight begins to flicker, signaling the battery dying. Carter, always prepared for anything, reaches into his sack and pulls out a spare.

"Thanks," I say as I take the flashlight. "We'll need to do something about the lighting here."

"There's lighting down here," Brutus says. "We just need to restore the power. Until then, we're stuck with these."

"Alright, so do any of you know how to restore power?"

"Actually, yes," Carter says. "I used to work for the power company. I can help."

"Why don't we cross that bridge when we get there?" Walker says. "We need to make sure this place is going to be safe. I don't know about you, but there's no way I'm bringing Alicia and the girls here if there's even the slightest hint of danger."

"They're not going to be much safer where they are," Brutus says.

"But they'll most likely be safer here," I tell Walker. "That's what our goal is…to keep everyone safe."

"What about the transport then?" Walker asks. "That's what I'm most worried about. How are they going to get here without the Invaders noticing? Do you think they won't notice an entire family on foot loaded down with supplies?"

In the beam of my flashlight, I see the scared look on his face. Out in the field, Walker is always confident with his crossbow at his side. But the largest thing he's ever gone up against was a wolf. When it comes to going up against the Invaders, he's terrified.

"Walker, look, I know you're afraid for your family, but we're going to do everything we can to keep them safe. You just have to trust me. I've been up against a lot of evil in my life, and if I've learned anything, it's that you can't let fear rule your life. Being afraid gives them power, and you can't let them win. It's time to stop letting them control your life and start doing something about it."

Walker is quiet for a moment, my words sinking in, and then he gives me an appreciative nod. "You're right, Angel. It's just…my family is all I have. If anything were to happen to them…"

"Walker, I can't promise you nothing will happen, but I can promise you I'll do everything I can to make sure they get here without incident. You have my word."

"Look up ahead," Brutus says, interrupting our conversation. "I think these were the living quarters."

Just off the main tunnel to the left is another tunnel. We follow it to find that it leads to some stairs to a lower level below. To my surprise, the underground chambers are more expansive than I could imagine.

Underneath where we had just been walking lies a long hallway lined with doors. I peer into the first one, finding an old dresser, a beat up nightstand, and a set of bunk beds in the corner. It reminds me a little of Buffy's dorm room, only smaller.

"This must be it," I tell the men as they follow me into the room, illuminating the room with their flashlights.

"There's more," Brutus says, pointing out to the hallway.

We find rooms just like the first one behind each door, except for one door towards the end of the hallway which is a much larger room, apparently some sort of meeting room.

"What went on in this room?" I ask Brutus.

"I think they may have taken meals here," he says.

"Are there enough rooms to accommodate everyone?" Walker asks.

Brutus shrugs. "I'm not sure."

"We'll see what the others have found," I tell the men. "And if there's not, well, we'll be living in very tight quarters."

"What about…facilities?" Carter asks.

"I think I saw them back the other way," Walker says, pointing behind us. When we walk back up the stairs, we see a few smaller doors. I step inside the small bathrooms and I nod in approval. "Indoor plumbing. That's a major plus."

Carter steps in and turns on the faucet, but the tap is dried out. "We'll have to turn the water back on too, but yes, most definitely a plus."

"How long is it going to take to get everything back and running?" Brutus asks, his question directed to me.

"It depends on how fast we can work. We need to make sure the power and water are up and running. Not to mention getting the rooms ready."

"So we're going to have to come back tomorrow night?" Walker asks.

I nod. "Probably so, until this place is ready. And I don't think we'll have time once it's daylight. Too risky."

"We should probably meet back with the others," Carter says, pointing to his watch.

"Alright, let's head back and see what the others have found."

* * *

Back at the fork, we find Roman, Conan, Hornsby, and Grayer waiting for us.

"Did you guys find anything interesting?" I ask them.

Roman nods. "We hit the jackpot. Lots of tools and items left behind from the miners. Some of them make excellent weapons."

"What did you find?" Hornsby asks, his question directed to me.

"We hit the jackpot too."

* * *

On our way back, the moonlight makes our journey more difficult. The Invaders could be anywhere and could easily spot us. Therefore, we try to stick to walking near the trees whenever possible.

Roman sidles up next to me and speaks in a hushed tone. "Angel, my cousin is very worried about his wife. He wants to know when we'll be able to rescue her."

I glance at Conan, seeing him trudge on with a distant look on his face. I try to imagine myself in his place, wondering how I would feel if it were Buffy. "Tell him not to worry. We'll get his Essie back. But it's not going to do us much good if we rescue Essie and then have no place to hide her."

"Don't you think they're going to know where we are?" Grayer asks, apparently having overheard our conversation. "I mean, if we're not at home, then it's not going to take them too long to figure out where we're hiding!"

"Well do you have a better plan, Grayer?"

The older man grows silent.

"Look, I'm not saying we can hide our location forever. That would be impossible."

"So how are we supposed to keep everyone safe?" Walker asks.

I turn toward the men and smile. "You are. I've been training you for months."

"But we're not ready!" Walker says.

"No, you're ready. You just need a little practice."

"Shh!" Roman says, holding up a hand to silence us. He nods toward the field where a few lights have appeared in the distance.

Carter reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pair of binoculars. "It's the Watchmen. They're coming this way."

We're out in the open field now with no hiding places in sight. And judging from the pace of their horses, I'm fairly certain we've already been spotted.

I give Roman a look, silently telling him to be ready. We've discussed this situation beforehand and were prepared for it to happen.

"I'll do the talking," I tell the men.

As I expected, the Invaders bring their horses to a stop a few feet away from us. There's only three of them, which works in our favor. They're outnumbered.

"Gentlemen," one of them says, moving his horse a little closer. "What are you doing all the way out here?"

"We're coming home from a hunt," I tell him.

The Invader scrutinizes me for a few seconds before glancing around at the others. "And where are your kills?"

I shrug. "We struck out."

The demon speaking to me looks at the other men and gets off his horse. He moves closer to me, all the while never taking his eyes off me. "You're quite a ways from home to do a little hunting."

"We'd thought we'd scout out a new hunting ground." I glance over his shoulder, seeing the other two dismount. I have a feeling we're about to have some trouble. Moments later, they draw out their weapons. Yep, definitely about to have some trouble.

The demon keeps his eyes on me, his face moving closer to mine. "You're lying. Now tell me what you and your group are really doing out here."

I shrug again, then grin at him. "Just…you know, taking a stroll. We got lost." Behind him, I notice Roman taking position behind the other two. With all the commotion, they didn't realize he had moved away.

The demon, now seething, draws his knife from out of his holster. "You tell me what you're doing out here, or I'll slit your throat."

Now I laugh. "I'd like to see you try." I throw my fist into his face, knocking him off balance enough for me to hit him again, loosening the grip on his knife. Easy enough. Of course, this just makes him angry, and he begins to fight back.

As we go at it, I notice the other men joining in. They all have their weapons, which I insisted they bring. Now I'm glad I did. I just hope they can remember all I've taught them.

Being quick on my feet, I spot the Invader's knife on the ground and pick it up before he can recover. Now I have the upper hand. "Rule number one: Don't lose your weapon to your enemy."

He slams his fist into my jaw. I stumble back, shaking it off and lunge toward him with the knife in hand. I slam it into his heart, years of experience of killing vampires, and watch as he falls backward.

The clink of swords tells me that the other men are still fighting off the other two. Instead of lending a hand, I watch them. If they're in trouble, I'll jump in of course, but sometimes it's better to let them do it themselves.

Carter swings his axe toward one of the demons, managing to hit him in the middle of the head. He moves back when the blood splatters. The demon, without a doubt, is as good as dead. He falls to the ground a few feet away from the one I killed.

Meanwhile, the lone Invader goes toe to toe with Roman and Hornsby. Roman eventually ends the fight when the blade of the sword slices through his neck.

The men all breathe a sigh of relief with the danger has passed. I look around at them, seeing most of them still somewhat dazed that we had gone up against them…and won.

"Good practice, everyone. Now just a few thousand more to go and we'll win this war. And look what we got? Free horses."


	17. Relocation

**CHAPTER 17 – RELOCATION**

" _Can I help you, sir?"_

 _I looked up from the showcase and smiled at the old man. "I'm looking for an engagement ring."_

 _The old man smiled. "Well we certainly have a wide selection of those. Do you see one you like?"_

" _Yeah. That silver Claddagh ring, the one at the end. The one with the diamond heart."_

" _Oh yes, that's a beautiful ring." The man took his key out and went about unlocking the glass case. He took the ring out and handed it to me for a closer look. "It's a very…unique ring. Must be a really special girl."_

" _Yes, she is." Looking at the ring, I could already see it on Buffy's finger. "She's very special."_

* * *

-April, 2001-

I stand at the window, keeping guard while the others are busy gathering their belongings. I don't have much to take with me though. I reach into my pocket and pull out the ring box to take a peek at the Claddaugh ring. I definitely don't want to leave this behind. When I get back to Buffy, I'm going to put it on her finger. I smile as I think of that moment to come someday, then put it back into my pocket for safekeeping and resume keeping watch.

The underground bunkers are finally ready. Over the past couple of weeks, the men and I have been transferring supplies to our camp in an effort to make the relocation easier. Now, we have to relocate the people, which will be far more riskier. Working in our favor though is the new moon, so at least we'll have more cover.

Towards the back of the house, I hear Althea rushing to get the children ready. She orders them to dress in several layers so they will have less to carry on the trip.

"Mother, I'm hot," Myles complains as Althea puts one more shirt over his head.

"I know you're uncomfortable, but this is the best way to carry your clothing."

"It's cool outside," I tell Myles. "You'll be fine. The sooner we get there, the sooner you can take them off."

Myles nods. "Okay."

"Now get your shoes on," Althea tells him and ushers Myles back to his bedroom.

Andromeda exits her own room, loaded down with a duffel bag. She too is dressed in layers, but this doesn't seem to bother her. Instead, I sense something else is on her mind.

"Angel?"

"Yeah?"

"How long will we be underground?"

I shake my head. "It's hard to say. I hope not for long."

"I don't know what to take. If I leave something here, it may not be here when I get back, and that makes me sad. But if I take too many things with me, it'll make traveling much more difficult."

I kneel down to her level. "I know. It's a hard decision to make not knowing what to take or what to leave. But do you know what the most important thing of all is?"

She shakes her head. "No. What's that?"

"You. You're what's most important. The things in this house…it's just stuff. All of this can be replaced. But a person can't be replaced. Do you understand?"

Andromeda nods. "Yes, I think so. Like when Sandy lost her house to the dragon fire, she seemed more concerned about her family than about the possessions she had lost."

"Exactly."

"It's still hard to decide what to take and leave though."

"Then limit yourself to three things. Not including anything you would need out of necessity. What would you bring if you could only take three things with you?"

Andromeda ponders this for a moment. "I'd take my journal, because I love to write. I'd take my favorite book to read when I'm bored. And I'd bring this necklace, because it belonged to my grandmother." Andromeda touches the chain around her neck.

"I think those are all good things to bring."

"What about you, Angel? What three things are you going to bring?"

"Well, I'll bring Buffy's picture, because I never go anywhere without having that."

Andromeda smiles. "Of course. I bet you're bringing your sketchpad too, aren't you?"

"Yes, I'm going to bring that as well. I'll need something to do when I'm bored too."

"And what else will you take?"

"This." I reach into my pocket, pulling out the ring box again. I open the box and show Andromeda the ring inside.

"Oh my, what a beautiful ring." Andromeda takes the box and looks at the ring a little closer. "Is this for Buffy?"

"Yes. That's the engagement ring I was going to give her."

"What do the hands and the crown mean?"

"It's called a Claddagh ring. The hands on the ring, they represent friendship. The crown represents loyalty. And the heart, well obviously, love."

Andromeda hands the ring back to me. "It's a very beautiful ring. I'm sure when you go home and give it to Buffy, she'll love it."

"I think so too."

* * *

"Now children, it's a long walk, but I don't want to hear any complaining," Althea tells the children just before we walk out the door. "We must be quiet so that no one hears us."

"Yes, Mother," Andromeda says.

"What about the horses?" Myles asks. "Aren't we taking the wagon?"

"Too risky," I tell him. "We'll get the horses later."

"What about Cousin Conan?" Myles asks. "Isn't he coming with us?"

"Conan's helping other families tonight," Roman tells his son, then turns to me. "Angel, we should probably split up. Our little group is a bit too large and I'm afraid we'll raise suspicion."

"You're right. Why don't you and Althea take Serena? I'll take Myles and Andromeda. But we better get a move on. We won't have a lot of time."

Roman nods. "Very well. We'll go first." Roman scoops a bundled up Serena into his arms. "Follow us after twenty minutes."

"Will do. And Roman? Stay vigilant."

He nods again and heads out into the night.

* * *

It's a long walk for the children. I can tell Andromeda's feet hurt, but she's not complaining. Myles slows down after a while, his short legs just not long enough to keep up.

"Come here," I tell the boy, picking him up. I half expect him to argue that he's a big boy and doesn't need to be picked up, but instead, the boy seems grateful that he can give his legs a rest.

"How much longer?" he asks me.

"About another fifteen, maybe twenty minutes."

"I can't imagine you and Papa made this trip every night," Andromeda says. "You must be so tired of walking."

"Actually, I'm used to it. You build up endurance after a while."

Up ahead, I spot a light, which makes me halt my movement. I grab Andromeda's arm, holding her back.

"Angel, what is it?"

"Shh. Be very quiet."

A wave a panic moves over her face.

"Don't be afraid," I whisper to her. I set Myles down on his feet. "You two, get behind that bush. Be as quiet and still as you can."

The children do as I tell them, and I crouch behind the bush as well. In normal circumstances, I would confront the Invaders. I do have my weapons in the event I need them, but I don't want the children to witness me killing someone if I can avoid it. Even if it is their enemy. They've already experienced enough violence, and I don't want to add to it.

The light moves closer, though it's hard to make out their features. I know it's the Invaders on their nightly patrols. Hopefully the trees and bushes will provide adequate camouflage.

As they move closer, I can see they are all on horseback and can hear the sound of their gallop.

"Shh," I warn the children, hoping and praying that they remain still.

The horses pass just ten feet in front of us. Three of them in fact. None of the Invaders have spotted us though, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"That was close," Andromeda whispers, her voice shaky.

"Let's stay here until they are out of sight."

We wait for a few minutes until I decide it's safe, then bring the children out from their hiding places.

"That was scary," Myles says.

"I know."

"Will they come back?" Andromeda asks.

"Probably not, but we can't be sure. We'll have to keep our eyes peeled. You two did a great job. Come on, we better get moving."

Within twenty minutes, we finally arrive. I'm relieved to see Roman waiting for me at the entrance, knowing that he and Althea and Serena got here safely. Walker and his family have already arrived as well.

The children, who had for the most part been very nervous during the walk here, now seem eager to explore their temporary home. Alicia offers to take Andromeda and Myles along with her two girls to their new living quarters.

"Did you have any close calls with the Invaders?" I ask Walker, who I know had been very worried about the journey here.

"Surprisingly, no. It was almost too easy."

"We didn't encounter any either," Roman says.

"We did."

Roman's eyes widen with alarm.

"Don't worry, we weren't spotted. They rode right past us on their horses while we hid in the bushes."

"Thank you for keeping my children safe. I'm grateful you were with them."

"Are we the first ones here?" I ask them.

"Conan arrived here safely," Roman replies. "Along with Old Man Hogan and Ms. Appleby."

"There's Grayer," Walker says, pointing up ahead. Grayer escorts a young family and an elderly couple.

"Just so you know, the Invaders are out there," Grayer says as he approaches us. "Had a close call, but they didn't see us."

"What direction were they headed?" I ask him.

"South. Don't think they were headed anywhere near here."

"Good."

"They'll find us eventually," Grayer says as he heads toward the tunnels. "Not like there's anywhere else we could go."

Walker turns to face me, his eyes wide. "Angel, what happens when they do find us?"

"You do what I've been preparing you for. You fight."

* * *

It's a long night as we wait for the others. The trips must be spaced out so as not to arouse suspicion. Brutus and Carter arrive within the hour, both bringing friends and family. Later, Hornsby arrives with his wife and a few neighbors.

"I thought you were bringing the Bennett family as well," Roman says, his question directed to Hornsby.

Hornsby shakes his head. "They won't go. Changed their minds last minute. I tried to convince them, but they're too afraid."

Roman sighs. "Well, that was inevitable."

"Perhaps they'll change their minds," says Delia, Hornsby's wife.

"I hope so, but they'll be taking more of a risk if they leave later," I tell her. "Once the Invaders find out half of the village is missing, they'll send in more guards. Escape won't be impossible, but it will be difficult."

* * *

Once the families get settled in, a few men volunteer to stay guard at the entrances, insisting that myself and the other men get some rest. If there's any trouble, someone will alert us.

The danger though, for the most part, is over. At least for now. Come morning when the Invaders realize there are several villagers missing, it's only a matter of time before they find us. Grayer was right about that, but at least from here, we have the upper hand. The higher elevations make seeing the enemy approach a lot easier.

Exhausted after seeing that everyone is settled, I go to my own bunker, turn off the light, and crash into bed.

* * *

Morning comes, and with it, more work remains. Each tunnel entrance is fortified with steel doors that must have a code entered to unlock them, which will provide much needed security. Carter, who is very good with his hands, came up with the idea. In the weeks prior to the relocation, Carter also made sure there was proper ventilation, as well as water and electricity.

"Is it finished?" I ask him as Carter installs the lock box.

"Almost, but I've got the other entrances to work on as well."

Brutus comes around the corner and looks to us both. "The south entrance door is complete. Grayer and Hornsby are guarding the entrance until we can get a lock on it."

"I'll work on it now," Carter says, putting his tools in his box. "Angel, this one is ready. Try it out."

I step to the box and punch in the code we agreed on before. Each entrance has a different code, which makes it a bit more complicated, but for security measures, it needs to be done this way. But Carter has programmed codes that are at least easy to memorize.

The lock clicks and the door slowly moves open. It remains open for a few moments, then like an elevator door, slides closed.

"What do you think?" Carter asks me. "Will this work?"

I nod. "It's perfect."


	18. Rescue

**CHAPTER 18 – RESCUE**

Althea frowns as she sees Roman and the other men gather up their gear. "Oh, Roman, I have such a bad feeling about this."

Roman tries to comfort his wife, but I understand her reason for being uneasy. Tonight, we leave to rescue Conan's wife. Essie is being kept by a key Invader in the Garden District. Rescuing her will not be easy, but I have confidence we can pull it off.

Across the room, Conan paces, anxious to get on with this. I put myself in his shoes and wonder how he's been holding up for so long. Had it been Buffy that were being held, I don't think I would have been as patient.

I fight back the wave of sadness that always hits me in the gut whenever I think of her. I can't let thoughts of Buffy get in the way of tonight's mission, so I push those thoughts aside and grab my weapon. If I can't be with Buffy tonight, then maybe I can at least reunite another couple.

"Are we ready?" Conan asks, and I nod.

"Let's go," I say to the men. I turn to leave the tunnels and the men dutifully fall in line behind me.

At the entrance, Walker and Carter stand guard. Hornsby is also on guard, though at the north entrance. It's too risky to leave at night without someone on active guard duty, and it puts Roman more at ease to know his family will be protected.

"Don't let your guard down," I tell them as we head out.

"We won't," Walker says.

"From here, we have a good vantage point," Carter adds. "We'll see if the enemy approaches."

"Alright, we're headed out."

"Angel?" Walker says, halting my movement.

"Yeah?"

"Stay safe out there."

"I always do."

* * *

"You're going the wrong way, Angel," Grayer complains as I lead the men back toward their old village.

"We're taking a detour."

"'Detour'? The district is in the other direction!"

Conan sidles up to me with an uneasy look about him. "Grayer's right. This actually isn't the most efficient way to get to the Garden District."

"I know that. But we have to make a stop first. We need transportation."

"You can't be serious!" Grayer says.

"Dead serious," I say to him, giving him a warning glare. He seems determined to question every decision I make.

"It'll be easier on horseback," Roman explains.

"And riskier," Grayer mutters.

"But faster," I tell him. "Listen, we don't know what kind of shape Essie will be in when we find her. She may not have the strength for a long walk. And we need to get back our horses anyway.

Brutus, who has remained silent for most of the trip, speaks up. "Are the horses going to be in condition to travel?"

"Don't worry about the horses," Roman tells him. "I've made arrangements with those who decided to remain behind to care for them. They'll be fine."

"Now if we could only be certain we'll be fine too," Grayer says.

Stepping in front of him, I toss my axe to the ground and grab Grayer by the shirt collar, surprising the older man. "Do you want to be in charge of this? Do you think you could do this better?"

Grayer holds up his arms in surrender. "Sorry, Angel."

I back off, embarrassed that I let my temper get the best of me. "I'm just under a lot of pressure right now, and I could do without the commentary."

"I guess I'll keep my mouth shut," he says, finally having gotten the message.

"Look, I didn't want it to have to come to this, but we have to be realistic. Roman says the heart of the Garden District is quite a distance away. We need to cover a lot of ground in a short amount of time." I pick up my axe from the ground, dusting the dirt from the blade with my hand. "So let's go. We've got some horses to get."

* * *

I expect the village to be crawling with more of the Watchmen, but I'm unprepared at just _how many_ there are. There are guards on every corner while several more patrol the streets.

Peering from behind the bushes, the men and I watch.

"They should have left when it was quieter," Roman mutters.

Conan glances at me, worried. "Now what, Angel?"

I look at him and smile. "I'm going to create a diversion."

Grayer opens his mouth to protest I'm sure, but immediately closes it and doesn't say anything at all.

"Relax, I'll be fine. I'm going to create a diversion, and while I have them occupied, you all get the horses. Make sure one of you get one for me."

"I have a better idea," Roman says. "Why don't you let me assist you with that diversion? It'll be easier to fight them off if you have a partner." As he says this, he slips his sword from out of the holster he carries it in.

Roman is undoubtedly the best fighter of the group, so I decide to take my chances. "Alright. You three," I look to the others. "When you get the horses, take them to the creek. Roman and I will meet you there once it's safe."

The men nod, then watch as Roman and I make our way toward the village.

"Any ideas on how we're going to do this?" Roman asks me.

"Not a clue, but I know how to improvise."

* * *

Roman and I watch the guards patrol for a while. Some march up and down the streets, keeping an eye on anything suspicious, while others have posts.

"Look at that," I tell Roman, pointing to two of them. "They're about to change guard."

"How do you figure?"

"The one on the left looks weary and tired from standing all night. The one on the right looks raring to go."

"If they are in fact changing shifts, then now would be an opportune time to strike."

I smile at Roman. "My thoughts exactly. Come on, let's surprise them. You take the tired one on the left. I'll take the other."

With the guards distracted by the shift change, Roman and I surprise them from behind and begin attacking.

I bury the blade of my axe into the Invader's head, causing him to immediately fall dead to the ground, while Roman swings his sword at a perfect angle, neatly beheading him.

Of course, killing these guards was too easy. The commotion we make alerts other guards on patrol in the area that there is trouble, and Roman and I brace ourselves as a slew of them charge our way.

Many of them are armed with swords, like Roman's, but their weapons are no match for my axe. I systematically take each one of them down, knocking their weapons to the ground before giving them the same fate as the first guard.

Roman, meanwhile, seems to be holding his own, though there are too many for him to fight alone. Jumping to his defense, I cut off the arm of one of the Invaders. He immediately recoils, and is unprepared for the next swing of my axe as I then put him out of his misery.

After what seems like several minutes of fighting more of them off, Roman and I look at each other to catch our breath, then look to the ground below us. Everyone on the ground is either dead, or dying.

Seeing no more guards in the vicinity, I nod to Roman. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

The others arrive at the creek shortly after we do, each having a horse for themselves as well as one each for Roman and myself.

"What happened to the guards?" Brutus asks.

"We took care of them," I answer.

Grayer turns his head toward me, and for a moment, it almost looks as if he's trying to smile. "Well, guess I was wrong about you. I'm impressed."

* * *

We stay off the roads and instead, ride the horses through the woods where the trees provide adequate coverage. The dirt roads aren't heavily traveled at night, but knowing the Invaders, we aren't taking our chances.

"How much further to your district?" I ask Conan who leads the way.

"By foot, it would take several hours. By horse, only half that."

We arrive to Conan's village sometime just after midnight. We tie the horses off at a good distance away near the creek that runs through this area, then get on foot to walk the rest of the way.

Conan, who leads the way, halts his movement and moves to stand behind a tree. "There are guards here too."

Following Conan's gaze, I spot the trio of guards standing at the end of the road. Not to mention several more guards nearby. It's going to take a little more than the element of surprise to kill these demons.

"Look at their weapons," I whisper to Roman, nodding towards the axes in their hands.

"Much better than the paltry knives the other guards had," he whispers back.

"Conan, where is Essie being held?" I ask him.

"A farmhouse on the south end of the district," he says. "We can get there without cutting through the village, but it'll take longer."

"Let's concentrate on freeing Essie then," I tell the men. "We'll worry about fighting later. Lead the way, Conan."

Conan nods, then leads us back towards the woods. Once we're a good distance away, we head south and stay on the outskirts of the village. We continue that way until the trees eventually give way to a field.

"We have to cross this field," Conan says. "And the farmhouse is just beyond those trees."

He points to the trees across the field.

"Why can't we just go around?" Grayer says from the back.

"Because there's a high voltage electric fence," Conan replies.

I look to the men. "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I don't feel like getting electrocuted today. Come on, let's go."

"Wait, not yet," Conan says. "There's a guard that patrols this field every twenty minutes. I know this because of all of the times I tried to get to Essie myself. I don't know when he last patrolled here, but he'll be back."

"Is it just one guard?" I ask him.

Conan nods. "Yes, just the one."

"I'm not afraid of one guard. One guard we can fight off."

"But there's more at the farmhouse."

"That's okay," I say with a grin. "I like a challenge. Let's all keep our eyes peeled. If we run across the guard, we'll handle him."

Conan seems reluctant to follow my lead, but eventually concedes and leads us to the field.

"These strawberries?" Brutus asks, picking a berry from one of the bushes and popping it into his mouth.

"This is not the time for eating, Brutus," Grayer grumbles.

"I'm hungry."

"Shh," Roman warns. "Be quiet. The wind will carry your voices."

We continue the rest of the way in silence. I constantly scan the field, looking for sign of a guard. And just when I think we've gotten lucky…

"Halt your movement."

Just ahead of us, a guard emerges from the trees at the edge of the field. The moonlight reflects off the deep ridge in his forehead as he steps closer to us.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? A couple of escapees, eh?" He eyes Conan for a moment and grins. "Conan, what a pleasure to see you again. We were wondering where you had gone off to. You haven't reported for duty in weeks. Poor Essie, for it is she who had to pay the consequences…"

Conan lunges at the guard, but the guard is strong and pushes him off until he stumbles back and falls on the ground.

"You leave my Essie alone!" he shouts, scrambling to get back on his feet.

I, in turn, use this opportunity to slug the guard with my axe. He staggers back for just a moment, but quickly regains his balance and comes back at me. I discover rather quickly that he's a lot stronger than the guards back in Roman's district and packs a pretty powerful punch, but I don't let this deter me. I wasn't lying when I said I enjoyed a challenge.

Before I can aim my axe at him again, the guard grabs my arm in an attempt to stop my movement. I'm not too worried though, because I see Brutus over the guard's shoulder and have an idea what he's about to do. Suddenly, he grabs the guard, pulling him off and punching him in the face when he turns around. Brutus easily knocks the man down, and I slam my axe into his forehead, just to make sure he's really good and dead.

"Good job, Brutus," I tell him, patting him on the back.

He shrugs his shoulders. "Just dumb luck," he says.

"No, I don't think so. You're a good fighter."

He smiles, though I can see he still prefers to be modest.

"Alright, come on, let's go. That guard was nothing. But I'm sure that's not the last guard we'll see tonight."

* * *

After crossing the field and a small wooded area, a house comes into view. The windows are darkened, telling me that either the occupants are sleeping or not in the house at all. It's a regular two story farm house from what I can tell, but according to Conan, one of the most powerful Invaders in this district lives here.

"That's where her room is," Conan whispers, pointing to a darkened window on the side of the house. "I know because one time I got past the guard and tried to rescue her. I couldn't get to her though. I failed her."

"Hey, you didn't fail her," I tell him. "You can't get her on your own, so you had to get help. But don't worry. We'll get her tonight."

"Is there electricity here?" Grayer asks.

Conan nods. "There was when I left. Why should that matter?"

"It could matter a great deal if the place has an alarm."

I nod. "Grayer's right. If there's an alarm, we need to disable it."

"I doubt there is," Roman says. "Why bother with an alarm system when you have guards?"

"True, but a system creates an extra sense of security," Grayer says.

"Alright, listen," I tell the men. "Let's get closer to the house. Let's fan out and search the surroundings for anything that's going to make this more difficult."

We split up and search the area thoroughly. Grayer and Brutus check out the back of the house while Roman, Conan, and myself check the front. None of us talk. Being this close to the house, our voices will surely carry.

After a thorough inspection of the house, we meet back by the field.

"We couldn't find any sign of an alarm," I tell Grayer and Brutus when they arrive.

"Same here," Grayer says, "though there are definitely guards."

"We saw them through the window. There was a light on in one of the rooms on the other side of the house."

"They didn't see you, did they?" Roman asks, concerned.

Brutus shakes his head. "No, they seemed to be too busy playing a game of cards to notice our presence."

"Okay, well that may work in our favor," I tell the men. "If the guards are distracted, we may be able to get Essie out without any complications."

"We need a ladder to get to her room," Conan says. "I know there's one around here because I tried to use it last time."

"We could use a ladder, sure, but we don't need one to get to Essie's room," I tell Conan.

Conan stares at me for a moment with a confused expression on his face. "But how will we get to her, Angel?"

I smile. "Easy. We're going to break in."

* * *

On the other side of the house, away from the guards, I find a small window, though still big enough for a man to squeeze through.

"This probably leads into a bathroom," I tell them as I inspect it a little closer. Reaching into my pocket, I pull out my pocket knife. "I knew this would come in handy." Placing the knife at the top of the screen covering the window, I slowly make a straight cut down the side.

"What about the glass?" Grayer asks.

"Shh," Roman warns. "Whisper only."

"Okay, what about the glass?" Grayer asks, whispering this time.

"I can pry it open. Brutus, hand me your crowbar."

Brutus hands me the crowbar in his hand, and I use it to jimmy the window open. Then I look back at the men and smile. "We're in."

The window, which seems to be stubborn, doesn't seem to want to go up all the way, so Brutus helps me pry it open a little more.

"Doesn't appear to be opened much," Roman says.

"Yeah, it's pretty stuck," I say. "I think that's all it will budge."

"I don't think I'm going to fit through there," Brutus says.

Judging from the size of the window hole and Brutus, I'd say he's right. "That's alright. We need someone to keep guard outside anyway."

"Okay. What should I do?" Brutus asks.

"Keep an eye on the premises. If anyone shows up at the house, you need to take care of them. Think you can handle that?"

Brutus nods, gripping his crowbar tightly.

"Good." I look to the others. "Alright, let's go."

One by one, Conan, Roman, Grayer, and myself hoist ourselves up and through the window. Taking a look at our surroundings, I realize it's not a bathroom, but a laundry room, which is even better. Less traffic. Not many would do laundry at this hour.

Outside the door is a hallway, and I lead the men down it. From somewhere on the other side of the house, I hear the voices of the guards carry over to us. From all indications, it seems they are still involved in their game of cards.

At the foot of the staircase, I motion for Grayer and Roman to stay downstairs. Too many people going up a stairway will surely arouse suspicion, and we need someone to stay guard. Then, nodding toward the staircase, Conan leads the way.

We creep up the stairs, and I pray that no creaky spots will give us away. We make it without incident, and Conan, having obviously studied this house for a while, seems to know where he is going so I follow him.

There are several rooms upstairs and all doors are closed. Conan makes his way over to one of the doors. "Essie," he mouths and points to it.

I nod and hold my weapon up in the event that it isn't Essie behind that door.

Conan tries to open the door, realizes that the door is locked, and then unlocks it. The lock, of course, is on the wrong side of the door, but if holding someone prisoner, it makes a lot of sense.

The room is dim, but my eyes are more accustomed to the dark and adjust quicker. There's a twin bed against the wall. A figure who appears to have long, light-colored hair is sleeping on it. For a very brief moment, it almost looks like Buffy.

Conan rushes over to the bed and gently shakes the woman awake. It's obviously Essie, and the woman, upon seeing Conan sitting at her side, sits up and throws her arms around him. I'm surprised to see that Essie is human, not Astorian. And with her blonde hair, she reminds me even more of Buffy.

Conan whispers to her softly and Essie nods. She quietly gets out of bed, reaches for a pair of shoes on the floor, and quickly slips them on.

Essie glances briefly at me, but there's no time for introductions. We have to be quiet and get the hell out of here.

We reach the doorway at the same time another door swings open. I try to back up and shove Conan and Essie back into the room, but we're too late. The Invader has already spotted us and is yelling for the guards.

"Run! Take Essie!" I order Conan, who wastes no time running down the staircase.

With axe in hand, I charge for the Invader. I'm beginning to think I have this fight in the bag when the other doors open, revealing more guards. Of course this place would have more than two.

Mortally wounding the head Invader, I concentrate my efforts on the guards. They're armed too, but I don't think their weapons are any match for mine. I am, however, aware that I am a little outnumbered.

Downstairs, I hear a ruckus, and I hope Grayer and Roman are able to hold their own against the two guards downstairs.

A sudden sting on my arm distracts me for a moment. One of them has gotten me with the blade of their sword. I turn around, swinging my axe as I do and beheading the demon who injured me. My arm is going to hurt like hell later, but I can't feel it now. Too much adrenaline pumping through my system.

I take care of the other guards and rush downstairs to assist Grayer and Roman. They're still fighting them off. Luckily, they don't see me. Using the element of surprise, I bury my axe in one of the guard's backs. The other guard, distracted by my arrival, doesn't see the blade of Grayer's knife digging into his neck. Grayer must have severed an artery, for blood begins squirting from the wound and the guard falls to the floor.

"Time to get out of here," I tell the men.

* * *

We don't stop moving until we're in the clear. At the creek, the horses are still waiting for us, and I decide this is a good place for a rest break.

Conan and Essie remain inseparable. Now that I can see Essie up close, her face doesn't look anything like Buffy at all. But from behind with her long, flowing blonde hair, she could probably pass for her double.

"Angel, I can't thank you enough," Conan says to me as he stands in front of me, his hand holding Essie's.

I give the man a smile. "You've already thanked me, Conan. Probably a dozen times at least."

Conan laughs. "That's why I said I can't thank you enough."

"I haven't had the chance to thank you," Essie says. She takes a seat next to the log I'm sitting on and Conan joins her. "I've been in that house for so long. It's so nice to be outside in fresh air for a change."

"Essie, dear, I haven't introduced you yet. This is Angel."

Essie extends her hand to shake mine. "It's very nice to meet you, Angel. You have no idea how thrilled I was to see Conan and the cavalry arrive," she says with a laugh.

"Well you're most certainly welcome."

"I bet you're surprised to see another human in this world," she says.

"I was beginning to think I was the only one."

"I followed Conan back here." Essie wraps her arm around Conan and leans her head against his shoulder. The gesture reminds me so much of Buffy, but I try to push away those thoughts of sadness.

"It's true," Conan says, continuing their story. "I went to your world one day on a mission. Essie was in danger, and I saved her life."

"And stole my heart in the process," she finishes, cozying up to Conan a little closer. "That must seem so strange to you. Two beings from different worlds finding love."

I smile at her, thinking of how different Buffy and I were when we first met. "Actually, not so strange at all."

"So how did you end up here?" Essie asks.

"Not voluntarily like you. The Invaders came to my world. Fortunately it was only a few so they were easy to fight off, but unfortunately, I got sucked into their portal."

"And ended up here," Essie finishes.

"Yeah."

"That must be so awful for you. I bet you miss your family."

"No family, but a girlfriend. And a few close friends as well."

"I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. I was separated from Conan for only a few months and that was torture enough. This must be so much harder for you."

"It is, but it won't last forever. I'll make it home."

Conan smiles. "There was a time when I was worried I'd never see Essie again. But if Essie and I can be reunited, I'm sure you will be reunited with those you love as well."

"I intend on it."

It wasn't until we were well on our way again that I realized something.

I've been in Astoria for one year now.


	19. One Year Ago

**CHAPTER 19 - ONE YEAR AGO…**

 _Since I became human and Buffy and I could finally be together, in every sense of the word, I'd noticed something about her._

 _A good slay was like foreplay to her._

 _It never failed that after we'd make an extremely difficult kill, she'd insist we get back to my place. Immediately. Sometimes I couldn't even close the door before she was all over me, clawing at the buttons on my shirt, ripping them off if they gave her struggle._

 _We stumbled in the darkness toward the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothing in our wake, so that by the time we collapsed on the bed, the only thing keeping us apart were the few seconds I took to open my nightstand drawer to grab a condom._

 _Buffy rolled over to my side, half on top of me. "Hurry, Angel," she whispered before she nipped at my ear._

 _I couldn't find what I was looking for, and it was then that I realized…_

" _Damn it."_

" _What's wrong?"_

" _I forgot to go to the drugstore."_

" _You mean you don't have any…?"_

" _No. And everything's closed at this hour."_

" _It's okay. We just won't use them tonight."_

" _Buffy…"_

" _No, it'll be okay. We probably don't even need one."_

" _Are you sure?"_

" _Yeah, it'll be fine. Besides, we've done it without condoms before. Don't you remember Thanksgiving weekend?" She moved to straddle me, her lips hovering just over mine, and any lingering concerns I may have had went straight out the window…_

* * *

Liam wiggles his arms as I finish fastening his diaper. With his belly exposed, I give him a little tickle and Liam makes his cute little baby laugh.

"I still can't believe you're mine sometimes. How did something so beautiful come from me?"

Liam just stares at me, then puts a couple of fingers into his mouth. I pull down his tiny shirt and scoop him up into my arms, then give his squishy cheek a kiss.

"I know why. It's because you're not just a part of me. You're a part of your daddy too. You've got the best of both of us."

I walk Liam over to the window and gaze outside. Spring has come. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. Across the street, a neighbor is mowing his grass. Another neighbor tends to the colorful blooms in her garden. And the sky? Not a cloud in it. Just stretches of blue as far as the eye can see.

It seems odd to feel sad on such a beautiful day like this.

I look at Liam, who seems entranced by the beauty outside. "You know what, Liam? I think it's time for me to do something that's long overdue."

* * *

 _I turned down the bed and smoothed out the wrinkles in the sheets. Briefly, I considered sprinkling rose petals on the bed like they do in the movies, but decided against it. Too messy._

 _Besides, Buffy and I didn't need any help when it came to the two of us in bed together._

 _Opening the nightstand drawer, I reached for the small ring box and took out the Claddagh ring nestled inside. I couldn't wait to see it on Buffy's finger._

 _Smells from the kitchen drifted to the bedroom, and I remembered dinner. I placed the ring in my pocket and went to the table, making sure everything was in place._

 _The table was set with fine china. The candles were lit. I even had a bottle of sparkling cider chilling. I'd considered a bottle of wine, but then saw Joyce's disapproving glare in my mind and thought better of it._

 _Buffy and I didn't really need alcohol either._

 _My phone rang, and I smiled, picturing Buffy on the other end, anxious to find out what I had planned for tonight._

" _Your timing is perfect. I was just about to call you to tell you to come over."_

" _Sorry, mate, it's not Buffy," Doyle said in his thick Irish brogue._

" _Doyle?"_

" _Look, I'm really sorry to ruin your evening with your girl, but you need to get back to L.A. Tonight."_

" _Why? What's wrong?"_

" _I had a vision, and it was bad. I'll give you the details when you get here."_

 _Damn._

* * *

Angel's mansion has a few more cobwebs since the last time I saw it when Liam and I arrive. I give the place a onceover, noting that nothing has been disturbed, which is good. It means no vampires or demons have taken up residence here. Willow had done a protection spell on this place a long time ago, and I'm glad to see it's still holding up.

I wheel Liam's stroller toward the back bedroom, and my heart catches in my throat. _So many memories._

There are sheets over everything, keeping the dust at bay, and I take them off, being careful not to kick up too much dust. Underneath everything, I find a dresser, a nightstand, a bed.

The bed calls to me, and I sit down and sprawl out on it, grabbing one of the pillows and holding it close to me. I long for the scent of Angel though I know it's already faded.

I think about everything. All the times we'd crash here. All the times we made love in this very bed. We probably even conceived Liam here.

I have a good long cry, and when I'm finally cried out, I reach for a tissue in Liam's diaper bag.

 _Liam_.

He's awake now, looking up to me with what I think is confusion. I blow my nose and stuff the tissue in my pocket, then scoop Liam out of his stroller.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like that, baby. It's just that being here makes me miss your daddy so much."

Liam gazes around the room, curious of his surroundings, and I scoop him up, deciding to give him a tour.

"This is where your daddy used to live, you know that?" I walk Liam around the bedroom and gaze at all of the familiar things. Angel's bookshelf, with only a few volumes. His dresser with a few clothes inside. The bed.

"Well, this is the bedroom. Your daddy liked to read a lot, so he always had his books near. Most of his books he kept at his apartment, but he kept a few here as well." I run my finger across the spines of the few books there, then come across a very familiar one. "Oh my god."

I take the book off the shelf and smile. " _Sonnets from the Portuguese._ I've been looking all over for this. Forgot I left it here. One time your daddy had a bad cold and he was sick in bed. I read this to him. He gave this book to me for my birthday one year."

I put the book on the bed next to my purse. I definitely don't want to lose this book again.

I step out into the main living area and stare up at the high ceiling. "This is where you daddy would teach me how to do tai chi. Or sometimes we would spar here. And other times, if it was cold, we would just sit in front of the fire."

Liam turns his head away and looks in the other direction. I follow his gaze and head into the kitchen. "Now this was one of your daddy's favorite rooms. Well, except for the bedroom, of course. He loved to cook, which was really funny considering he went over two hundred years without human food. Even when he was a vampire, he cooked, at least that's what Cordelia tells me. I guess maybe he liked the smells of all the food. And when he was human again, he could finally taste all of those wonderful aromas. I loved it when your daddy cooked for me. I even bought him a cookbook for Christmas."

I take Liam back into the living room and then wind up back into the bedroom. "It's time to pack up all of these things though, don't you think? I mean, it's not like he's coming back here."

Liam stares at me. He gives his pacifier a suckle.

"Oh, don't worry. I've not given up on him. I just don't think he'll ever live here in this mansion again. No, when your daddy comes back home, we'll live together. Just the three of us. Maybe we'll rent one of those cute houses on Sunset Street. And it'll have a nice fenced-in backyard where you can play. And your daddy and I will build you a swing set, one of those wooden ones with a slide attached to it. And your daddy and I will sit on the porch and watch you play. It'll happen one day, I'm sure of it."

I kiss Liam on his cheek and watch as his little eyes start to flutter. "You're getting sleepy again, aren't you, baby boy?" I place Liam back into his stroller and cover him with his little blue blanket. "There, all cozy. Why don't you take a nice long nap. Mommy's got a lot of work to do, okay?"

Miraculously, Liam closes his eyes. I know in moments, he will be asleep. I kiss him once more on the cheek, then stand back and stare around the room, my hands on my hips. "So, now the question remains…where do I start?"

* * *

 _At the stoplight, I took out my cell phone and dialed Buffy's number. She answered on the first ring._

" _Are you still at the Magic Box?"_

" _Yeah. Why?"_

" _Step outside for a minute." The light turned green, and I made the turn onto Maple Street. I pulled into the parking space next to Giles' sporty little number just as Buffy came out of the shop._

 _Her face lit up when she saw me, happy to see me. I hated that I was about to spoil our plans._

 _Buffy walked over to driver's side of the car, leaning forward to kiss me. "Hi! I didn't know you were picking me up! I thought you were going to call."_

" _Change in plans."_

 _The smile on her face faded. She knew something was up. "No. Angel, please don't tell me you're going back to L.A. tonight."_

" _I'm sorry. Doyle wouldn't have called me if it wasn't important. Look, I have to go. I just wanted to say goodbye before I left."_

" _No, you're not going to say goodbye. I'm going with you."_

" _Buffy, it could be dangerous."_

" _If it's dangerous, then I'm definitely going. You'll need my help."_

 _I weighed the options of fighting with her to stay or to let her tag along. Buffy was as stubborn as I was, and if she wanted to go, she wouldn't take no for an answer._

 _I nodded to the passenger seat. "Alright. Get in."_

 _Buffy went to the other side of the car and got in. I backed out of the space as she put her seatbelt on._

" _I'm sorry about this. I'll have to give you your surprise another night."_

" _That's okay. So did Doyle say what was wrong?"_

" _No, only that whatever it was, it was bad."_

* * *

 _Angel was a different person in L.A. In Sunnydale, he was more reserved, the kind of person who hid in the shadows and worked behind the scenes. But here in L.A., he was a leader. He took charge of the situation and everyone looked to him for instruction on what to do. It was a side of Angel I had never seen before, and it was sexy as hell._

 _I followed Angel up the steps and watched as he burst through the door. "What do we got?" he barked at Doyle as he headed to the weapons cabinet without preamble._

 _Doyle stood up, a book in hand, and gave a smile of relief. "Oh good, you're here, and you brought Buffy. Inter-dimensional demons. In layman's terms…dimension hoppers."_

" _What do they look like?" I asked, and Doyle showed me the picture in his book. "An inter-dimensional demon looks like a Klingon?"_

" _Yeah, and they're mean as hell!"_

" _And apparently quite strong," Cordelia added._

" _If we don't act fast, they'll take over our world!"_

 _Angel selected an axe from the cabinet, and following his lead, I grabbed a weapon of my own. Stakes weren't going to cut it this time._

" _How do we kill them?" I asked Doyle._

" _Normal way. But be careful of their foreheads. They're pointy and sharp."_

" _Where are they?" Angel asked._

" _They were down by the docks in my vision," Doyle replied._

 _Angel nodded to the door. "Let's go."_

* * *

 _On the drive over, Doyle had briefed us on the dimension hoppers. They were a species of demon that systematically invaded world after world, caring nothing about the people they hurt and only about how much power they obtained._

 _Buffy glanced at me nervously as we pulled up to the docks._

" _Seems quiet," she said. "A little too quiet."_

" _Then let's check it out."_

 _We got out of the car and looked around for a while, though none of us saw any sign of a demon._

" _Doyle, are you sure these are the right docks?" Cordelia complained._

" _I'm sure of it, Princess. I remember seeing that boat in my vision. This is the place."_

 _Cordelia threw her hands up. "Then we must be late! They're probably already gone." She then turned around and stared at me. "You took too long to get here!"_

" _Uh, guys?"_

 _I looked to Buffy, seeing her gaze fixed on something in the distance._

" _What is it?" I asked her._

" _We're not late. We're right on time."_

 _Just beyond the boat from Doyle's vision, a circle of light appeared. It hovered over the ground for a few seconds and gradually grew bigger._

" _That's the portal!" Doyle said. "The one from my vision!"_

 _Beside me, Buffy held up her weapon. "Let's kick some Klingon ass."_

 _The portal grew larger, and finally, a group of demons piled out of the portal. They moved fast, so it was hard to get a head count, but I figured there were at least seven._

" _That's them!" Doyle shouted._

 _Right away, we could tell they had not come on friendly terms. The dimension hoppers charged toward us, eager for a fight._

 _I went toe to toe with the largest one. He had a ridged forehead and an angry glare to boot. Not to mention a powerful right hook. I shook off the hit like it was nothing and charged toward him again. This time, I got the upper hand, sending him spiraling to the ground when I hit him._

 _Buffy fought alongside me, slicing one of the demon's head off with a clear cut through the neck. Doyle, though he hated it, let his demon out to give him the strength to fight. And even Cordelia was swinging at one with a weapon._

 _Though they had us outnumbered, they had clearly seen it was a losing battle for them. Another portal suddenly appeared, and one by one, the demons began jumping off the dock and through the portal to escape._

 _I swung my axe at the demon I was fighting, now back up and ready for more. The blade of my axe hit his torso, giving him a large, bloody gash. The demon though, was strong, and somehow managed to knock the axe out of my hand. It sailed through the air before falling, ironically, into the portal. The demon stared at me with yellow, angry eyes. He flung his fist towards me, but I dodged his move, then managed to land a blow to his jaw._

 _Suddenly, the demon jumped off the dock and into the portal, knocking me down and taking me with him._

" _Angel!"_

 _As I fell backwards, I heard Buffy frantically calling for me. I grabbed the pylon, fighting with all of my might not to be sucked into the portal._

" _Angel! Grab my hand!"_

 _Straining against the force of the portal, I reached for Buffy, but my hand was just shy of her grasp. I held on tight to the pole, but my hold was quickly slipping. The vortex sucked me further down, and I could feeling the walls closing in._

" _Angel!" Buffy leaned over the dock, and through the swirling lights of the portal, I saw tears streaming down her face._

" _Buffy!"_

 _Finally, I lost grip of the dock, and the portal sucked me in._

 _Buffy's scream was the last thing I heard._

* * *

I slam the trunk lid closed. The back is filled with several of Angel's things: old clothes, paintings, and a few other items. Everyone else probably thinks I should get rid of it all, but I know Angel will appreciate me holding on to the things he felt were important.

Back inside the mansion, I give the front room a onceover, remembering all the times we sparred here, all the quiet evenings by the fire, all the times we made love…

It seems sad to say goodbye to this place. I feel a lot like I did when we packed up Angel's apartment. The place just seemed so…empty now. Of course, some of the furniture remained, but I think Angel would be okay with me leaving it there.

In the bedroom, Liam has just woken up. He doesn't cry, but rather, an odd sense of calm had come over him. I know this will not last for long. He'll be screaming for me to nurse him very shortly. But for now, he still seems curious about his surroundings.

"Well, this is it, Liam. It's time to say goodbye to this place. I don't think we'll be coming back here, so get a good look at it."

I stroll Liam out of the bedroom and through the front room, taking one last look myself, then turn to leave the mansion for good.


	20. Underground

**CHAPTER 20 - UNDERGROUND**

-May 2001-

It's amazing how people adapt to change when faced with an uncertain future. It had taken a lot of coaxing to get many of the Astorians to relocate to the Mountain District. While all of them fear the Invaders, the fear of the unknown if often greater. Not everyone came. Too afraid of being caught was the reason, knowing that death would be certain if the Invaders knew. But to many, death was already certain if they stayed.

We did everything we could to ensure a safe move to the underground bunkers, and though there were a few close calls, everyone made it here safely. In fact, the people that have moved here seem almost…happier, or at least coping with the circumstances a little better.

Each family gets their own bunker, though the common areas must be shared. To the children, moving here seems like an adventure. Some of the older children, like Andromeda, are more fearful because they understand the situation a little better. But to the younger ones, the underground chambers offer plenty of new and unusual places to explore.

I stay in the bunker next door to Roman and Althea at the children's insistence. There's plenty of room for me to have my own bunker. In fact, we've got several rooms available. We just need the families to actually be brave enough to come.

"Hey, Angel," says a man in greeting as we pass in the hallway. Everyone seems to know me by now, the instigator of all this. I don't mind though. It reminds of me L.A. when Doyle and Cordy always expected me to make the plans at how to defeat the next evil that had come to the city.

I miss them a lot. Maybe not much as Buffy, but I do miss them too.

I make my way to one of the common areas and see a group of men waiting for me. I see some new faces in my training sessions, which I hold three times a day. Many of the men were reluctant for me to train them how to fight, fearful of going up against the Invaders. When I pointed out that it would be more fearful to not know how to defend themselves if the Invaders attacked them, many of them changed their tune. Not to mention the fact that they all had families to protect.

* * *

We've been living in the underground bunkers for a few weeks now. In that time, there have been no incidents with the Invaders, and that concerns me. Too quiet. They have to know by now where we are. It's not as if there are that many places to hide in Astoria, save the forest which everyone knows is far too dangerous.

I was just thinking about this when I see a panicked Walker run down the hallway towards me. "Angel! Come quick!"

Without any hesitation on my part, I take off after Walker. I'm not sure what I'll find when I leave the tunnels, only that I know somehow, the Invaders are involved.

Outside and down the path a ways, there's a barn where we've been keeping the horses. Walker leads me to it. Inside, I find Hornsby and Carter standing over five downed horses.

"What the hell happened?" I ask the men, though I'm pretty sure I have a good idea already.

"Watch your step," Hornsby warns me. "There could be more spiders."

"Spiders?"

"Hundreds of them. Carter sprayed some pesticide but there could be more."

"The horses are covered in bite marks," Carter says.

I step closer to look at Bucky, the horse that I had been riding. His eyes are wide open, though with that glazed look so I know that he can't see me anymore. Several places on his face are covered with swollen, pus-filled sacs.

Looking down, something catches my eye. In the hay, I spot one lone black spider crawling along. I step down on it with my boot and crush it dead. "Is this the same kind of spider that almost killed me?"

Carter nods. "Yes."

"Just one spider was enough to almost take me down."

Behind me, Walker moves closer and takes a look at the dead spider in the hay. "I didn't think they had these spiders around here. I thought they were only in the forested areas."

"These spiders aren't usually around here," Hornsby says. "I mean, it's not impossible, but for there to be so many…"

"This isn't an accident," I tell the men. "This has the Invaders written all over it."

* * *

Later in the commons area, Andromeda weeps over the loss of the horses, but especially Bucky. Bucky was her favorite as well.

"He was such a good horse!" she cries as her mother wraps a comforting arm around her. "Every time I went out to feed him apple slices, he would make that little whinny sound!"

Althea smoothes her daughter's long pink hair and hugs her tighter. "Yes, he was a very good horse."

Andromeda looks up and catches my gaze. "Do you think he suffered any?"

He probably did, but I'm not about to tell her that. The girl is upset enough. "No. He probably just went to sleep and never woke up."

The girl wipes her eyes and nose with a handkerchief. "I hope he didn't suffer. What an absolutely dreadful way to die. Those poor horses…"

Andromeda turns to her mother and cries into her shoulder.

"I knew it was a bad idea to bring the horses here," Grayer says from the corner of the room. "If you'd just left well enough alone, they'd be fine back at home."

"You don't know that for sure, Grayer."

"Of course I do! A neighbor was taking care of mine! And now my horse is dead because you convinced me to bring him along! We should have never went back for them. Would have saved them from the misery!"

Andromeda looks at Grayer. "But Angel said they didn't suffer."

"Of course they suffered, kid!" Grayer says. "They were all probably ravished with fever before they succumbed to their injuries."

Upon hearing this, Andromeda bursts into fresh tears, and I glare at Grayer. "Why would say that to a child?"

"Quit your bullshitting, Angel. You know it's the truth. You yourself almost died from one of those spiders. You mean to tell me you didn't suffer?"

"That's enough," Althea says as she moves to stand. "I suggest you watch your language, Mr. Grayer. There's a child present. Come on, Andromeda."

Althea leaves the room with Andromeda in tow.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're not very tactful?" I ask the older man.

"All the time," Grayer responds. "But you know good and well those horses suffered a painful death."

"I also know that a young girl was upset over losing her family horse. No reason to rub salt in the wound."

"Kids got to grow up sometime. Can't shelter them forever. These are war times we're living in. Speaking of which, when are you going to do something about that?"

Grayer, without waiting for me to respond, stands to his feet and shuffles out of the room.

I'd be the first to admit that this was taking a lot longer than I thought it would, but for the first time, I'm starting to feel like a failure.

 _Oh, come on. Don't think that. I don't think you're a failure._

Over at the table, Buffy sits, smiling at me. I know she's not really there. I know she's just in my mind. Then just as quickly as she appeared, her image fades. No, never there at all. But in my mind, I can hear her words so clearly.

I stand up and leave the room, intent on figuring out a way to get rid of the Invaders and get home to Buffy.

* * *

I decide to stand guard that night. If anything else is going to happen, I have a feeling it's going to happen tonight. The Invaders have already sent a message with our horses. Now it's time for their next move.

Roman stands guard with me. Every few minutes, he pulls out his binoculars and scans the horizon. I think he suspects too that something is going to happen.

"I can't believe they managed to get to the horses," he finally says after a period of silence.

"Using the spiders was a clever move," I tell him. "Anything else would have caused a ruckus and alerted us."

Roman nods. "They want us to know they're watching us, even if we can't see them."

Reaching for my own pair of binoculars, I peer through them and look down the hill. It's a cloudy night, which doesn't work much in our favor.

On the other hand, it may not work in the Invader's favor either. A spot of firelight catches my attention, and upon further inspection, I realize it must be light from a torch.

"We have company," I tell Roman, who immediately looks towards the south.

"And looks like there's more than one of them."

"Go alert the others. And quick."

Roman is immediately on his feet and running to get the other men.

One of the Invaders gets off his horse, and I recognize him as Cronus, the Invader we encountered that day after leaving the woods.

With my axe at the ready, I stand to my feet, determined to not let him or his men pass. "So, you found us."

"Hiding in the tunnels. How clever. Taking the coward's way out."

"I'm not a coward. Just keeping the people safe and away from the likes of you."

"I knew you were trouble," he says, staring at me.

"And I knew you were evil," I reply back. "What you did to those defenseless animals…"

"Was necessary."

Cronus nods to his other men, who quickly dismount from their horses. They're a lot bigger than some of the other dimension hoppers I've encountered, which leads me to think that Cronus is a bit more important than the rest of them. Only the man in charge would have guards like that.

"We can do this one of two ways. Either you let us have access to the tunnels and you'll all do as we say, or we'll kill you and everyone on the spot."

I let out a laugh. "Like I'd let you get near them. You left out the third option. I could kick your ass and you could leave us the hell alone."

Cronus does not look amused. "Then we'll do this the hard way."

"I always like a challenge," I say as I charge toward Cronus, wielding my axe toward him.

Cronus is quick on his feet and dodges my move. Meanwhile, I hear a shuffling behind me and realize his guards are breathing down my neck. They grab me, and my axe falls to the ground. It would be easy to get overwhelmed, but I stay calm and fight them off. I punch one, then another. I take a blow to the face myself, but I shake it off and continue fighting.

I see a few more Invaders charging toward me, and I realize that a few of the guards had been hanging back.

Well, damn.

One of the guards manages to pick me up, and somehow or another, I get tossed to the ground. Cronus stands over me then, his wiry beard reflected in the firelight of his torch. "I warned you."

A sword comes down at me fast, but thankfully my reflexes kick in and I roll out of the way.

Just when I'm starting to wonder what's keeping Roman and the others, they arrive, weapons in tow. For a moment, they take in the scene, and I can see the hesitation on their faces. Not one of them had wanted to go up against Cronus before.

Finally, Roman leads the charge and jumps into the fray. The others follow suit.

With their timely distraction, I grab my axe from where I dropped it and run forward, taking one of Cronus's men by surprise as I slam the blade of my axe into his back. He goes down, moans in pain, and I slam the blade into him again, effectively putting him out of his misery.

"Anyone else?"

Cronus, the coward that he is, mounts back on his horse. His men, following Cronus's lead, begin to retreat.

"You've made a grave error," Cronus says with a threatening voice. "And unfortunately for you and your friends, your fellow Astorians will pay the price."

With that ominous warning left hanging in the air, Cronus grabs his horse's reins and takes off. His men follow, along with the one horse that belonged to the now dead Invader.

Roman sidles up next to me and watches as the Invaders head back down the hill. "They gave up pretty quickly."

"No, they didn't give up. They'll be back. I'm going to walk around, make sure they're really gone. Someone take care of that one." I motion toward the dead guard laying on the ground in a pool of blood. Brutus, without word, grabs the dead guard and carries him away.

* * *

After our encounter with Cronus, I call a meeting with a few of the men the next morning. While Grayer and Brutus are keeping watch, the others and I gather into the common area underground.

I sit at the head of the table and watch as everyone in the room stops their conversation and looks to me.

"Okay, let's get to work," I tell them. "What happened last night with Cronus and his men, we can expect that to happen again. And next time, it may not be just a few Invaders coming to cause us trouble. They could bring an army next time. So we have to step up our game, be a little more vigilant. First thing I propose is that we have more people guarding the tunnels, and that includes not only entrances but patrolling the area as well."

"Do you really think we're ready for all of that?" Walker asks hesitantly.

"Of course you are. All of you are." I scan the room to see a few men from my training sessions. I feel they're more than capable of fighting against the Invaders if they had to. The only thing that seems to be holding them back is their fear.

"Now, on to more pressing matters. The only way we're going to win this war is through bloodshed, and I know that makes a lot of you uncomfortable, but eliminating the enemy is the only way to guarantee our freedom. Is everyone with me?"

I see a few men respond with a silent nods, and since no one has spoken up, I assume we're all in agreement.

"How do you propose we go about that?" asks one of the men in the back.

"Well, for one, we have plenty of weapons to go around. Some of you already have a weapon of choice. For those of you who don't, I suggest you find what works for you. Some people are more comfortable with a sword. Me personally, I prefer an axe. Whatever it is, get comfortable using it, because you're going to be using it a lot."

I see Roman and Hornbsy nodding, while several of the new faces seem a little alarmed.

"Don't worry if you don't know how to use a weapon. I know how to use all of them, and that's what I intend to teach you. Now, I know that our army is small, but I suspect that we'll recruit others later. There are people out there, your fellow Astorians, that are suffering under the tyranny of these demons. People can only take so much, and I imagine that if pushed enough, they'll fight back."

"Not everyone will feel that way, Angel," Conan says. "In my district, most of the people have accepted their fate. They're too fearful of what happened here in this district. Too many lives lost."

"I understand. And you're right. Not everyone will want to fight. But some will, and I think we owe it to them to help them out. When someone's in trouble, you help them out, right?"

The men all nod again.

"Right. So this is what I propose. Recently we rescued a young woman, Conan's wife, from where she was being held captive. But there are a lot of others to be rescued. I suggest we form groups and go into these other districts. We'll kill as many Invaders as we can and hopefully rescue a few people in the process."

In the back, the same man that had spoken up before raises his hand again. "I have another question. Why can't we just storm the castle and take out Cronus himself? End this thing once and for all?"

A few murmurs in agreement with this are heard in the back.

"Sure, we could do that. Anyone know where Cronus is?"

The men don't respond. No one knows where Cronus is staying. He's well known, but he stays out of sight most of the time.

"Look, we don't know where Cronus is, and for now, simply killing Cronus won't end things. Not yet anyway. If Cronus dies, someone will simply take his place. I suggest in this case, we work from the bottom up. If we take out the lackeys, then there's no one in line to take Cronus's place. Does that make sense?"

Another man in the back raises his hand. "Angel, what about the Crystal? If we could just get the Crystal back and restore it, we would have our magic back and we'd be able to end this thing. We know how to fight with magic."

"Not to mention you'd get to go back home," says another man.

"You're right. But I want you to understand that getting the Crystal back won't be a simple task. For starters, anyone know where it is?"

I see the men shake their heads. Roman then speaks up.

"All we know is that it's in the Invaders' possession."

"How about we do this then? We'll form another group and have their main task be to locate the Crystal. Do I have any volunteers for this group?"

Almost all hands in the back go up.

"You're still going to have to fight. And up against the likes of Cronus and his guards most likely."

Some of the hands go back down.

"Okay, we'll work out the details of who wants to do what later. In the meantime, does anyone have any questions? Concerns? Any more ideas?"

The group is silent, so I continue to talk. "Then are we all in agreement that we're going to fight for our freedom and rid Astoria of the Invaders?"

To this, everyone responds enthusiastically.


	21. The Baby Whisperer

**CHAPTER 21 -THE BABY WHISPERER**

-June 2001-

I slam my cell phone shut, cutting off the automated voice on my voicemail.

This is so typical of my father. I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe this would actually be a nice weekend, when in the back of my mind, I knew something like this would happen.

I keep hearing my father's message, filled with his fake apologies and broken promises.

 _Hi, sweetheart, it's Daddy. I hate to do this to you last minute but something's come up at work and I've got to go out of town, so don't make the drive down here this morning. We'll get together some other weekend. Kiss Liam for me. Bye, sweetheart._

I'm so mad at myself for driving all the way here and not realizing I had missed his call.

I sit down on the bench and glance at Liam in his stroller. He's content, happily sucking on his pacifier, unaware of the pain and heartache that comes with being an adult.

"I'm sorry, Liam. It looks like you're not going to see your grandpa today after all. But I guess it's time you learned. The only thing reliable about Hank Summers is the fact that he's unreliable."

"Buffy? Is that you?"

I turn my head toward the familiar Irish brogue and smile in spite of how miserable I feel right now. "Doyle! Hey! What are you doing here?"

Doyle laughs as I stand up and give him a hug. "I could ask you the same. I didn't know you'd be in town today!"

"Neither did I until I got a call from my dad yesterday. I was supposed to spend the weekend with him. But apparently he had a last-minute business trip and changed his mind. I guess he'd rather work than spend time with his daughter and grandson, who he's barely even seen."

"I'm sorry."

I shrug. "That's okay. I'm used to it."

Liam suddenly makes a sound of distress, and seeing that the pacifier has fallen out of his mouth, I quickly put it back in place, averting crisis.

"Oh wow, look at the little lad! He looks nothing like the pictures you sent! He's changed so much!"

"I know, he grows so fast. Do you want to hold him? Everyone likes to hold him."

Doyle nods, and I pick the baby up, handing him over. We sit on the bench, and Doyle bounces Liam gently on his knee.

"One of these days I'll convince Cordy to have one of these with me." He winks at me.

I must have given him a surprised look, because he then laughs.

"You and Cordelia are together?"

"We've been living together for a few months now. What can I say? She finally couldn't resist me Irish charm."

Liam starts to get squirmy in Doyle's arms, and Doyle looks down at him, uncertain of what to do. "I think the wee one wants his mum back."

I take Liam into my arms and rub his back, which seems to pacify him at the moment.

"He looks just like Angel," Doyle remarks.

"Yes, he does."

"I know you miss him."

"I think of Angel every day. I hate that he's missing out on all of this."

"He'll come back. You can't give up hope."

I smile at Doyle, his words reassuring. "I haven't. Seems like you and Cordelia are about the only ones that believe he'll come back. Everyone else has given up. But I have to believe he'll return. For Liam's sake at least. You know?"

Doyle nods. "I understand."

"Hey, what time is it?"

Doyle glances at his watch. "A little after ten."

I stand up and place Liam back into his stroller. "I guess I should head back to Sunnydale. If I leave now, I'll be back in time for lunch. So much for spending the weekend with my dad."

"You can't leave now. You just got here. Why don't you stay with me and Cordy?"

"Oh, I wouldn't want to impose…"

"Nonsense! You're our friend! Unless you don't want to visit with us…"

"No, I'd love to visit."

Doyle smiles. "Good, then it's settled! I'll catch a ride with you. I walked here. Where's your car?"

* * *

The short drive to the apartment put Liam to sleep, and I gently take him out of the car, being careful not to wake him.

"You know what's crazy? As many times as I've come to L.A. for a visit, I've never actually been inside Cordelia's apartment before. I've only seen the outside."

"Well that's because you and Angel were always so wrapped up with yourselves in his love shack together. Wait, shack doesn't seem right. Maybe basement is more like it. Oh geez, I shouldn't have said that about Angel. Now I'm going to make you get all weepy-eyed."

"No, it's okay, Doyle. You don't have to feel like you're walking on eggshells with me. I like talking about Angel."

"Can I help carry something?" Doyle asks.

I hand him the diaper bag and nod toward the apartment. "Lead the way."

We walk up the sidewalk and Doyle opens the door. "Cordy, look who I ran into!"

I follow Doyle into the apartment and see Cordelia on the couch with a magazine.

"Oh my god, Buffy!" She tosses her magazine aside and walks over and gives me a quick hug. "Hey, it's good to see you."

"Hi, Cordelia."

"And oh my god, you brought the baby with you!" Cordelia leans down to get a look at Liam. "Aww! Hi, Liam! Look at you, you handsome little baby boy! Oh my god, he looks _just_ like Angel."

"I think so too."

"So what are you doing here?"

"Well, I came down to visit my father, but something came up at the last minute and he had to bail on me. And then I happened to run into Doyle."

"And seeing as how she had nowhere else to go, I invited her over."

"Well, please, make yourself at home."

I glance around the room, feeling a little envious of her digs. "I love your apartment."

"Yeah, isn't it great?"

"I helped her find it," Doyle says.

We head into the living room, and I place Liam's carrier on the coffee table and sit down on the couch. Liam, fortunately, is still sleeping.

"Oh, gosh, he's so cute!" Cordelia says, leaning over him again as she sits down next to me. "Look how tiny his fingers are! Doyle, did you see this?"

He gives her a smile. "I saw him." As Doyle sits the diaper bag on the table, a stuffed animal falls out the side pocket. Before anyone can pick it up, the toy suddenly levitates off the floor and goes right back in the bag.

"Okay, am I going crazy or did anyone else see that stuffed animal magically go back into the bag?"

"Oh, that's just Dennis," Cordelia says.

"Right. Your ghostly roommate. I forgot."

"He likes to be helpful. Thanks, Dennis."

"Helpful?" Doyle scoffs. "Yeah, he was _real helpful_ last night when he hid me bottle of Jameson!"

"Doyle, you were drunk off your ass and you know it. The last thing you needed was more alcohol. Dennis was just looking out for you."

"I was celebrating the end of the school year! And you can't celebrate without a drink!" Doyle turns to me. "Oh, and I wasn't drunk by the way. I can hold me liquor!"

Cordelia shakes her head no, and when Doyle glances at her, she smiles at him.

"Wow, so you really fit that stereotype about Irish men and alcohol, don't you?" I ask, teasing Doyle. "I bet St. Patrick's Day is your favorite holiday too."

"Damn straight!" Doyle laughs. "And if a man who claims he's Irish doesn't like whiskey, than he's not really Irish in my book! Speaking of liquid refreshment, would you like something to drink? Water? Soda? Guinness?"

"Doyle, she doesn't want a Guinness at ten-thirty in the morning!"

Doyle gives Cordelia a smile. "Well you can't drink all day if you don't start in the mornin'!"

"Water is fine, thank you."

Doyle smiles. "Coming right up."

"Bring me a glass too, honey?" Cordelia asks.

Doyle nods and heads for the kitchen.

"Should I be concerned about his drinking?" Cordelia asks me, but she smiles as she asks this.

I shrug. "Maybe."

"So, how are you holding up?"

"About as well as I can I suppose. It's still hard not having Angel around. It doesn't get easier like everyone says. I just keep thinking of how much he's missing. Liam has all of these milestones coming up, and he changes so much day to day. I wish Angel could be here to see it."

"Do you like being a mom?"

I can't help but smile. "Yeah, I really do. It's funny, because I never pictured myself as being a twenty-year-old mother. To be honest, the thought of having kids used to scare me a little. I could barely take care of a pet let alone a child. Liam was certainly a surprise, but the moment I saw him…actually, no, before that. The moment I saw that plus sign on the pregnancy test, I knew he would be the most important person in the world to me, and I'd do anything to keep him safe."

Doyle comes back into the living room with two glasses of water.

"For you," he says, offering me the glass.

"Thank you." I take a sip, then start to put it on the end table. "Oh, do you have a…" Before I can finish what I was saying, Dennis pushes a coaster under my glass. "Oh wow, he read my mind. Thanks, Dennis."

"See, Doyle? I told you he was helpful!"

Doyle just rolls his eyes and leaves the room.

"So are you back to slaying yet?" Cordelia asks.

"Yeah, but it's hard." I reach out and touch the soft, fuzzy fabric of Liam's baby blanket. "Every night I put Liam to sleep, and then I have to leave him. I hate leaving him. It used to be easier. Before, I only had to think about myself. But now I have Liam to think about. This little tiny person that totally depends on me for everything. I think things would be easier if Angel were around. Still hard, but easier. That way I'd know if something happened to me, he'd at least still have his father."

"I'm sorry. I can't imagine how hard that must be."

"Thanks. So…you and Doyle, huh?" I ask, changing the subject.

Cordelia's face turns red as a smile forms on her face. "Yeah, me and Doyle."

"I was surprised when Doyle told me you two were together. I mean, I'm glad for you. You look very happy."

"Oh, believe me, no one was more surprised about me and Doyle than myself," Cordelia says with a laugh. "You know, it was Angel who brought us together. If it hadn't been for Angel, we would have never met. Well, I suppose we could have met, but I don't know if we'd be together if we'd met under different circumstances."

"So how did it happen?"

"I think it was all those nights we spent together researching and trying to find a way to bring Angel back home. We sort of bonded. And then this one night, he kissed me, and I knew. I knew exactly how I felt about him. You know how they say when you're looking for love and you suddenly realize it's been in front of you the whole time?"

"Yeah."

"That's exactly how it was for me with Doyle. I mean, I liked him before. I thought he was a nice guy and good-looking, and of course he has that sexy Irish accent, but I didn't really see him that way, you know? I guess I just didn't think he was my type. But when he kissed me? I suddenly saw him in a whole new light. It's kind of funny how a kiss can tell you how your heart feels when you don't even know it yet. Like, I used to have this crush on Wesley, right?"

"I remember."

"I was sooo attracted to him. Infatuated is probably a better word. And then when we kissed, the whole experience was so, I don't know…awkward. There was just no chemistry between us whatsoever and we both knew it right then. But with Doyle? It wasn't like that at all. It was like…fireworks or something. That sounds so cliché, doesn't it? And when I found out he'd had a crush on me since day one and had finally got the nerve to do something about it? Well, he had me then. We've been together ever since."

"My ears are burning," Doyle says as he walks back into the living room. "You must be talking about me."

Cordelia smiles as Doyle sits down in the chair. "I was just telling Buffy how we got together."

"She couldn't resist me anymore," Doyle says with a wink. "She tried, but I wore her down."

Doyle leans forward and gives Cordelia a quick kiss on the lips.

I look away, feeling like I'm intruding on a private moment, and a sadness overcomes me.

"Sorry about the PDA," Cordelia says.

"No, don't apologize. I'm happy for you guys. Really. It's just seeing you happy together, seeing everyone lately happy together, it just makes me sad."

"I'm sorry, Buffy," Cordelia apologizes again.

"I'm starting to run out of options, but I can't give up on trying to find a way to bring Angel home. I just…I just want some answers. I just—"

 _Answers._ I knew exactly where I could get some answers.

I smile, despite the fact that two seconds ago, I felt like I could cry. "I just had an idea. Oh my god! I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner!"

"Think of what?" Doyle asks.

"You have a connection with the Powers, right?" I ask him.

"Hey, yeah! The PTB!" Cordelia says. "You want answers! They know everything!"

Doyle shakes his head. "Sorry, Buffy, but that's not an option. Besides, I don't have any sort of connection with the Powers anymore since I stopped having the visions."

"But what about the Oracles? You could still take me to see them, right?"

"Oh no! I'm not taking you to see the Oracles!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's dangerous, that's why not! If something happened to you, Angel would never forgive me. He'd come back just to _kill_ me!"

"Doyle, I have to try it!"

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"Doyle, please. I'm begging you. Take me to see the Oracles. If it's my only option to find out what happened to Angel, I have to take it."

"Alright, fine! I'll take you to see the Oracles. You're about as stubborn as Angel, you know that?"

"Thank you."

"Yeah, we'll see if you feel like thanking me later if something bad happens. We probably shouldn't take the little one though."

"Oh, I could watch him," Cordelia offers to my surprise.

"Really?"

"Sure. He's just sleeping right now, and you guys won't be that long, right?"

"This shouldn't take too long," Doyle says.

"He'll probably sleep for at least another hour."

"And if he wakes up?"

"If he wakes up, check to see if he still has his pacifier. He gets fussy if he loses that."

"Okay."

"And if that's not what he wants, he might be hungry. You can try giving him a bottle."

"Pacifier, bottle. Got it."

"Do we have anything valuable around here?" Doyle asks.

"Why?" Cordelia asks.

"Because she'll have to offer the Oracles a gift in exchange for information. And it better be something good."

"Why don't you check the trunk in the closet?" Cordelia says. "The one with Angel's weapons? I think some of them were ancient."

"That's perfect! I know just the thing!" Doyle walks to the bedroom and returns a few moments later with an antique axe. He wields it in his hand, examining the blade closely. "I think this ought to do it."

* * *

"Well, here we are. The Gateway for Lost Souls." Doyle points to a sign on the wall. "That's what the inscription says."

"The Gateway for Lost Souls…is under the post office?"

Doyle laughs. "You know that's exactly what Angel said?"

"So how does this work?"

"Well, I put the herbs in the urn, do the incantation, and then a door filled with bright light will appear. Now listen, when you see the Oracles, you get in, ask your question, and get out. The Oracles don't always take too kindly to being summoned and if you catch them on a bad day, don't say I didn't warn you."

"You're not going in there with me?"

"Can't. I'm not a warrior."

"Okay, let's do this."

I watch Doyle as he places the herbs in the urn. "We beseech access to the knowing ones." He then digs a lighter out of his pocket and lights the urn, filling it with flames.

Suddenly, the marble wall opens up, and inside, a bright light appears.

"Alright, you're in." Doyle nods to the door, and I take a deep breath before stepping into the unknown.

Past the entryway, I see a strange place with white marble walls and long, cylinder columns. And then, I see two glittery figures, a male and female. The Oracles.

"Well, if it isn't the very slayer herself," the woman says.

"Hello, warrior," says the man. "What have you brought us?"

I hold up the axe, suddenly feeling nervous. "It's a Byzantine axe."

The axe flies out of my hand and into the man's, who examines it closely. "Such power. This axe has killed much evil. This will do."

"What brings you here, young warrior?" the woman asks.

"I want to know where Angel is."

"He is…where he is needed," she replies.

"He's needed _here_."

"This is an issue of love. This does not concern us," the male replies in his monotone voice.

"This isn't just about love. He has a young son who needs his father. There's nowhere he's needed more than here."

"On the contrary," says the female. "Your son will be fine, for he has many people who love and care for him already. But your lover is needed elsewhere, not in your world."

"His mission in your world is complete."

"Mission? I don't understand."

"To help you become a better slayer, of course," the female says, as if I should already know this.

"And to serve for our cause," adds the male.

"We're done now." The female Oracle starts to turn away.

"Wait! You have to tell me! Is Angel coming back?"

The female stares at me for a moment, then replies. "If it is meant to be, then he will return."

I want to ask more, demand they tell me more, but before I can get out the words, I'm thrown out of the room…literally. Doyle breaks my fall.

"Whoa! Sorry, Doyle!"

"Wow, quick like last time!" Doyle laughs. "Did it work? Did you talk to the Oracles?"

"Yeah, for all the good it did." I stand up and brush the dirt off my pants.

"Well? What'd they say?"

I storm out of the underground chamber, Doyle on my heels. "That Angel's ' _needed elsewhere'_! What a crock! He's not needed elsewhere! He's needed here!"

"Did they say where he was?"

"No. They couldn't have been more vague if they tried."

"Well did they say anything else?"

We're above ground now, and I lean against the wall of the post office, fighting back the tears I feel stinging my eyes. "When I asked if he was coming back, all they would tell me was that if it was meant to be, he would return. You were right, Doyle. This was a mistake. Seeing the Oracles didn't make me feel better at all."

I turn to walk down the sidewalk, and Doyle catches up to me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Hey, wait just a moment. You're missing something pretty important, you know?"

I wipe my cheek with the back of my hand. "What's that?"

"If they said Angel was 'needed elsewhere', then that means he's still alive."

I give Doyle a smile. "I already knew that though. I feel it in my heart. If he was gone, really gone, I think I would know."

"Well now everyone else can know too. And if Angel's alive, I'd be willing to bet he's looking just as hard as you are to find a way back home. He'll sure be in for a surprise when he returns! Congratulations, you have a son!"

"Can we go now?"

* * *

Cordelia is filing her nails and watching some movie on cable when we return. She mutes the TV when she sees us.

"Hey, that was quick. Did you see the Oracles?"

I sit down on the couch next to her and Liam, who's still sleeping in the carrier. "Yeah, I saw them."

"And?"

"They didn't give her the answers she was looking for," Doyle says.

"So what did they say?"

Liam's pacifier starts to fall out, and I place it back in his mouth. "They said Angel was needed somewhere else."

"Well did they say if he was coming back?"

"Only if it was meant to be."

"What kind of non-answer is that?"

"The Oracles are usually pretty vague," Doyle says. "Are you girls hungry?"

"I could eat something," Cordelia says, and I nod in agreement.

"Alright. I'll go fix us up something then." Doyle heads to the kitchen.

"Did Liam sleep the whole time?"

"Yeah, not a peep out of him. He's a pretty easygoing baby."

"Sometimes. When he's cranky though, it's another story. I can't imagine someone needing Angel more than we do."

"I think Angel would be a really good father. He's so protective of those he loves, you know?"

"Yeah, he'd be so good with Liam. The last Christmas we had together, actually it was right before Christmas, Angel and I were walking downtown shopping. Well, _I_ was shopping. Angel was holding my bags. Anyway, there was this young mother in front of us pushing her little baby along in a stroller. Her baby was probably about Liam's age. And all of a sudden, this woman fainted, and Angel was there just in time to break her fall."

"Angel always did like to be the hero," Cordelia says affectionately.

"We stayed with her until the ambulance arrived. And she ended up being okay. But while we were waiting, she was so worried about her baby. She said her baby didn't have anyone else but her. I didn't really understand that at the time, but now that I'm a mother, I get it. How scary would it be if something happened to me and I didn't have anyone to take care of my baby? And luckily I have my family and friends. But still…he needs his father.

"And when the ambulance arrived, the baby woke up and started to get fussy from all the noise. And before I knew what he was doing, Angel picked her up and starting singing to her."

"Angel was _singing_? Wow, I bet Lorne would have loved to see that!"

I laugh. "Yeah. He was singing some Irish lullaby I think. Too ra loo something…I can't remember how it went. But that fussy baby just went right back to sleep. I couldn't believe it. And every time I have trouble getting Liam to sleep, I think of that baby and how Angel just scooped her up in his arms and made her fall right back asleep. I don't know how he did it. He was a natural at it I guess."

* * *

Cordelia and Doyle insist I stay the night, which I agree to. I had intended to stay in L.A. overnight anyway. Plus, I was too tired to drive all the way back to Sunnydale.

Doyle brings Liam's portable crib inside and helps me set it up in front of the couch.

"Why are you putting the baby's bed there?" Cordelia asks.

Doyle shrugs. "This is as good of a place as any."

"Doyle, Buffy's our guest! Set the crib up in the bedroom. Buffy, you can have our bed."

"Oh, no. I couldn't do that. I've really imposed enough!"

"You're not imposing! And we'll change the sheets, don't worry," Cordelia says with a laugh. "Please, take our room. We'll sleep on the couch."

I raise an eyebrow. "Both of you?"

A slow smile spreads across Doyle's face. "Sure. Princess can sleep on top of me."

Cordelia jabs Doyle with her elbow playfully. "On second thought. _I'll_ take the couch. _You_ can have the floor. I need my space!"

"No, you guys, that's really nice of you to offer, but I've slept in worse places than a couch. Trust me, I'll be just fine. It's Liam I'm worried about. He gets cranky when his routine is disrupted."

And sure enough, a half hour later, Liam is wailing at the top of his lungs, unable to fall asleep and unable to console himself. I stick the pacifier in his mouth for the umpteenth time, but he just keeps spitting it out, too upset to suckle.

Dennis lifts Liam's bottle off the table and offers it to me.

"Thanks, Dennis," I say as I take the bottle. "I don't think he wants this though but we'll give it a try." I stick the bottle close to Liam's mouth, but he shakes his head and keeps his mouth shut, refusing it altogether.

"Well, so much for that."

Dennis then picks up a rattle lying beside Liam and gives it a shake. Liam continues to wail and doesn't even give the toy a glance.

"Okay, baby boy, come on." I pick Liam up, swaying him gently back and forth in a desperate attempt to make him stop crying. "What's it going to take for you to stop crying?"

"Can't get him to sleep?" Cordelia asks, walking into the room.

"No. I'm really sorry about this."

"Don't apologize. He's a baby. Babies cry. I take it he didn't want his pacifier?"

"Nope."

"Bottle?"

"Doesn't want that either."

"Diaper?"

"Just changed him. I've tried just about everything. I think he's just not used to sleeping somewhere else."

"Want me to try?"

"Please!" I happily hand him over to Cordelia.

If possible, Liam cries even louder, and Cordelia quickly hands him back over to me.

"Sorry, I tried!"

I pace the small living room back and forth, kissing Liam on his head. "Sorry, baby. I don't know what else to do. I don't know any Irish lullabies like your father. I'm starting to wish I did."

"Hey, Doyle's Irish! I bet he would know!"

"Know what?" Doyle asks as he walks into the living room with a beer in his hand. I could use a beer too right now to be honest.

"Do you know that Irish lullaby?" Cordelia asks. "Too ra loo something or other?"

"Sure. Me mum would sing it to me when I was child. Why?"

I continue to bounce Liam in my arms, hoping the movement will calm him down. "Maybe you could, you know, sing it?"

Doyle shakes his head vehemently. "Oh no, I haven't had enough alcohol for that!"

"Oh, come on, Doyle. If I can sing in front of a crowd at _Caritas_ , you can sing to a baby!"

"I don't think the kid wants to hear me sing. Might do more harm than good!"

"Oh please, I don't believe that," Cordelia says, flashing a smile at him. "You have that sexy Irish brogue working for you. Everything out of your mouth is beautiful."

A huge grin spreads across Doyle's face. "Well in that case, give me the wee one!"

Doyle puts down his beer and I hand Liam over to him, still in full-wail mode. Doyle makes little shushing noises which are useless. And then, he began to sing:

 _Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry!  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's an Irish lullaby. _

Amazingly, Liam's wailing had been reduced to a whimper, and he stares up at Doyle wide-eyed.

"Oh my god. Sing it again! I think it's working!"

Doyle sings the verse again, and Cordelia and I join in. Liam, however, keeps his eyes focused on Doyle, his soft, lilting voice apparently very soothing to him. And finally, after several repeated verses, his eyes close, and Liam falls asleep.

"…that's an Irish lullaby," Doyle finishes.

Cordelia turns to Doyle, smiling, and whispers, "Oh my god. _Doyle!_ You're like the baby whisperer!"

I can't help but smile too, mostly because I'm relieved the crying has finally stopped. "Doyle, that's amazing. How did you do that?"

Doyle smiles. "It's me Irish charm."

"You do know that I'm calling you every time I can't get him to stop crying from now on, don't you?"

Doyle laughs in response.

* * *

I had planned on hitting the road around three, but if having a baby has taught me anything, it's that my time is no longer my time. Everything revolves around Liam's schedule these days. By the time I leave Cordelia's apartment, it's closer to five.

As I head out of town, I spot _Caritas_ down the road while I'm stuck in traffic. Finally, the traffic creeps up a bit, and on a whim, I decide to pull into the parking lot. I suddenly have an idea. Besides, it's best to wait this rush hour traffic out anyway.

There's only one car in the parking lot, but the neon sign says the bar is clearly open. I pull into a space by the door, grab Liam from the backseat, and head inside.

Up on the stage, Lorne is fiddling around with some karaoke equipment. He doesn't see me right away.

I clear my throat. "Lorne?"

Lorne turns at the sound of my voice, then smiles when he sees me. "Buffy! So good to see you, sweetheart!" He then rushes over to me and half-hugs me. "How have you been, doll?"

"Okay."

Lorne then peers down at Liam in his carrier. "And this must be the little bundle of joy!"

"This is Liam."

"Well hello there, little Angelcakes!" Lorne says in a high pitched voice.

Liam, groggy but awake, stares at Lorne with wide-eyes. He seems intrigued by Lorne's green skin.

Lorne looks up at me with a worried expression on his face. "You don't think I'm scaring him, do you?"

"No, he's not scared. He's just never seen anyone quite like you. He looks just like him, doesn't he?"

"I'll say. Angel can't deny this one, that's for sure. He's beautiful."

"Thank you."

"Well, this is a lovely surprise seeing you two."

"I was in town. Actually, I was on my way home. But I thought I'd stop by first and say hello."

"I'm glad you did! Well come on, sit, sit! Take a load off. Can I get you something to drink?"

I place Liam and his car seat on the bar and sit down. "Maybe a ginger ale?"

"One ginger ale, coming right up!" Lorne moves behind the bar and grabs a glass from the counter.

I glance around the bar, noticing only one other patron in the bar. Some demon of unknown origin is quietly nursing a scotch in a dark corner. "So is business…okay?"

"Oh yeah, things are going well. It's just early." Lorne places my glass of ginger ale in front of me. "This is my quiet time. It'll pick up after eight. I like to open around five though. You know the saying about drinking at five and all."

I take a sip of my drink and look at Liam, who has finally given up the fight and has closed his eyes.

"Oh, looks like the little guy is tuckered out," Lorne says.

"Yeah, he's had quite a weekend. I was going to see my dad, but my plans changed, so I hung out with Doyle and Cordelia instead."

"So, how have you been?" Lorne asks.

"I'm fine. You already asked me."

"No, I mean, how have you _really_ been? Have you been taking any of my advice?"

"I'm trying, but it's been hard. Although I have decided something."

"What's that?"

"No matter what anyone says or thinks, I will never give up on the thought that one day, Angel will come back to us. I just have to believe that in my heart, and I do think it's true. If the situation were reversed and it was me stuck in another dimension, I know I wouldn't stop trying to find a way home."

"That's the spirit. Think positive. Negative thoughts will only bring you down."

"You know what's funny? Even though a lot of times I feel sad, I feel happy sometimes too." I look towards Liam, who is still sleeping. "How can I be happy and sad all at the same time?"

"It's hard not to smile when you look at that kid," Lorne says.

"He's so perfect. If it weren't for Liam, I don't know how I would get up in the morning."

I turn to look back at Lorne and see him smiling at me. "Motherhood is very becoming on you."

I smile back. "Thank you."

"So what did you and the lovebirds do this weekend? Anything exciting?"

"We watched a few movies. It's hard to do much of anything with a baby. Although Doyle did take me to see the Oracles."

"The Oracles?"

"They're these beings that are all-knowing and live out of time. Only warriors can summon them."

"And what did these Oracles have to say?"

"Well, they're pretty vague, but basically they told me Angel was where he was needed. I can only assume that means he's in a world that's in trouble, and that he's been sent there to help. And he does like to help people."

Lorne smiles. "Yes, he certainly does."

"Lorne, do you think you could help me with something?"

"Sure. What do you need? You want to sing for me? I just got some new songs!"

"Oh, no, I don't need a reading. I was wondering if you could help me with something else."

"Well whatever it is, I'll try. What can I do for you?"

"Cordelia told me you were from some other world, but I can't remember what the name of it was."

"Pylea."

"Right, Pylea. So how would you get to Pylea?"

Lorne shakes his head. "No, no, honey, you don't want to go to Pylea. Trust me. First of all, they treat humans there like cattle. And worst of all, there's no music. Can you imagine a world without music? It's dreadful. Don't go there."

I laugh. "No, I didn't mean I wanted to go there."

"Oh. Then why'd you ask?"

"I just meant that in order to get to Pylea, you would have to travel through a portal."

"Right."

"Well Angel's in some world out there, some world like Pylea or probably worse. If I could just find out where he is and get to him, I could help him with whatever trouble is going on there, whatever it is that it preventing him from coming home. And then we could go home together and be with our son."

"So what do you need me to help you with?"

"Lorne, I need you to help me understand how to open a portal."

"I'm sorry, doll, but I'm afraid I can't help you with that."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't have the first clue as to how to open a portal."

"But didn't you get here through a portal?"

"I did, but it wasn't one I opened myself. I just sort of…stumbled across it."

"Oh," I say, my voice deflated.

"I'm sorry, honey, but I don't know much about magic and opening portals. It just happened."

"That's okay. I was just hoping if you knew how, maybe that would help me get to Angel."

"Listen, this is what I can tell you. You should be very careful about opening portals to other worlds. You never know what you're going to find on the other side. There are thousands of dimensions out there, and not all of them are good ones. I hear a lot of stories about other worlds from my customers. A lot of them said good riddance to them, just like I did with Pylea. Just so be careful, sweetheart."

"That's what scares me, Lorne. Angel is in one of those worlds."


	22. Induced Happiness

**A/N:** Two weeks ago, this chapter did not exist, which is the reason for the lack in updates. Sorry about that. I realized that at this point, I really needed a chapter like this because waiting for Buffy and Angel to get back together is sooo hard! And also, I needed to address some stuff from the last chapter which I failed to do when I originally wrote this draft. So hopefully this chapter fixes that.

Hope you enjoy. I don't want to say it's smutty, because I don't think it is and that sounds so vulgar anyway. But maybe it's a little…steamy? In any case, these scenes are not my best stuff to write, but I try!

 **CHAPTER 22 – INDUCED HAPPINESS**

Despite Lorne's concern about opening a door into the unknown, I can't get the idea of opening up a portal out of my mind. Wherever Angel is, he needs help, otherwise he would have been here by now. And I'm determined to find him. Leaving Liam in my mother's capable hands, I go to the magic shop the next morning for a little research.

Anya quietly goes about getting the shop open while I sit at the table buried in several books. Giles isn't here, which is a relief actually. He'd probably have an opinion about what I'm researching, and I'm not in the mood to hear it.

The bell on the door jingles, and Willow and Tara walk in. They don't see me at first, but when they do, they seem surprised.

"Hey, Buffy. What are you doing here so early?" Willow asks.

"Research."

Willow's eyes widen. "Is there something we should be concerned about? Is there a new big bad in town?"

Tara, always the intuitive one, nudges Willow. "I don't think that's what she's researching, Willow."

Willow gives me a sympathetic look, then joins me at the table. "Buffy, I know you want to bring Angel home, and trust me, I want to see him home too. But we've exhausted every spell that's out there. It would be easier if we knew what dimension he was in, but we don't. It just pains me to see you torture yourself like this."

"What if it was Oz? What if Oz was lost in some hell dimension? Do you think it'd be easy for you to just let it go?"

Willow looks down, embarrassed maybe, then shakes her head. "No, I guess not."

"So you see, Will? I can't give up. I won't. And anyway, I'm not exactly searching for a way to bring him home. At least not this time. I'm trying to find a way to go to him."

Tara picks up one of the books I've been reading through. "You're trying to open a portal? Buffy, that's dangerous. You really shouldn't try to do this if you don't know what you're doing."

Willow's eyes widen in alarm. "Buffy, no! Tara's right. You really shouldn't mess with trying to open a portal. It's a Pandora's box waiting to happen."

"You two are just as bad as Giles."

"Well Giles is right!" Willow says.

"He needs help, Will. He needs help, otherwise he would have been home by now."

Willow and Tara exchange glances, and I know what they're thinking. Deep down, they think the same thing Xander thinks. They're thinking that if Angel were alive, nothing would stop him from coming back home to me, and that he would have been here by now.

"Listen, I have some new information. About Angel."

"What kind of information?" Tara asks.

"He's alive. That much I know."

"Buffy…" Willow starts.

"No, listen. I know for a fact that he's still alive, and he's out there. When I went to L.A. this weekend, I went to see the Oracles. The same ones Angel went to see after he became human."

Willow seems curious now. "What did they say?"

"They said Angel was where he was needed. Will, that has to mean that he's out there helping someone in trouble. You know how Angel is. He's always trying to do good in the world to make up for every bad thing he ever did. And the Powers know this. They sent him where he could help. And I want to help him. I want to help him so he can be done with his mission and come home."

Willow is about to say something, but my phone chirps and interrupts her. It's a text from my mom. "I got to go," I tell them as I stand up and gather my books. "Liam's being fussy and won't nap. He's probably hungry."

Willow places a hand over mine, and I stop for a moment.

"Buffy, just promise me you won't do anything you don't understand. As much as I love magic, Giles is right. It can be dangerous sometimes."

Willow stares at me with wide, worried eyes. "Okay, fine. I won't do anything I don't understand," I tell them. But I don't promise I'll stop trying to find a way to bring Angel home, or find a way to him.

* * *

Despite my resolve to understand portal magic better, my research has come to a standstill. Partly because I don't understand half of what I'm reading and partly because Liam takes up all of my time. I really don't know how I would get up in the morning if I didn't have Liam. He's my whole world and the one piece of Angel I have left. People are wrong when they say the pain will lessen with time. It doesn't lessen. It still hurts. And some nights, I still cry because I miss him much.

I'm thinking of all this as I watch Liam play on the floor. He can sit now if I support him, and he's already anxious to try crawling. Before long, it will be hard to keep up with him. I hate that his father is missing this.

Liam suddenly passes gas with a loud toot, which finally brings me out of my bad mood because it's impossible not to laugh when a baby lets one rip like that. Liam turns to look at me when I laugh, then gives me a huge smile. I smile back at him and kiss his pudgy cheek.

"Thanks baby. Mommy needed that."

There's a knock on the door, and since Mom's at work and Dawn isn't even awake yet, it's up to me to see who it is.

"Let's go see who's at the door." I scoop Liam up and go to answer it. Liam, who is always thrilled when we have company, waves his arms and legs around wildly when he sees Willow and Tara. He wants to go to Willow, and looking at the smile on Willow's face, the feeling is mutual, so I hand him over.

"Hi, Liam! Oh you keep getting so cute!" Willow gushes as she cuddles Liam to her chest.

"He's growing fast too," Tara says.

The four of us play with Liam for a while until he begins to get tuckered out. I excuse myself to go put him down for his nap, and when I return to the living room, I see Willow and Tara discussing something in hushed tones.

"Okay, you're not going to give me another lecture, are you?" I ask.

"Actually, Buffy, we wanted to talk to you about something else," Willow says.

"Okay." I sit down in the chair.

"Buffy, Tara and I have been talking, and we feel terrible that there's nothing we can do to bring Angel home."

"That's not your fault."

"But still, I hate feeling helpless. And so I gave it some thought, and Tara and I came up with something. If we can't bring Angel back home, then we can give you the next best thing."

I shake my head. "I don't understand."

Willow reaches for her bag on the table and pulls out a bottle of red, syrupy liquid.

"Cough medicine?" I ask, because that's what it looks like.

"It's a dream serum. And it tastes much sweeter than cough syrup."

Willow hands it to me, and I uncap the bottle and take a whiff of the liquid. It's smells like candy. "So this is something to help me sleep better?"

"Well, there is a light sedative in it, yes, but it's so much more than that."

"It invokes very pleasant dreams," Tara explains. "Very pleasant, vivid dreams. So vivid you can literally feel them."

"So I would…dream of Angel?"

"You would dream about anything you wanted to dream about," Willow says. "This is what you do. Right before bed, you take two teaspoons of it. Then as you begin to relax, think of the person, or thing, or whatever it may be, that would make you the most happy. When you drift off to sleep, you'll have the most amazing dream."

"Have you two tried it?"

Willow nods. "Yes, we tried it. We had to make sure it worked."

"What did you dream about?"

Willow smiles. "I dreamt about Oz proposing to me in a crowd full of his jealous groupies."

"Cool. What about you, Tara?"

Tara seems reluctant to share. "Something…personal. But I can assure you, it definitely works."

"She has a crush on someone but won't tell me who it is," Willow says in a low voice. "I bet that's what she dreamt about. Is it that girl with the dark curly hair from your psychology class?"

Tara turns beet red. "Willow…I told you. The person I like doesn't swing my way."

Sensing Tara wants a change in the subject, I clear my throat. "Tara, I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me. I was just curious. Some dreams are very private though, and I understand that. But the thing is…I already dream of Angel. And then when I wake up, I feel sad that he's not there. Maybe even sadder because I realize I was only dreaming. It's a disappointing way to wake up some mornings."

Willow places her hand over mine. "Buffy, I can't promise you that you won't miss Angel, but this serum is actually supposed to make you feel pretty happy. Maybe almost drugged. Induced happiness for sure, but happiness all the same."

"Well, I guess I could give it a try."

"You might be tempted to use it all the time," Willow warns. "But you really shouldn't. It really is sort of like a drug. So just, you know, use it on those nights when you really wish you could feel closer to Angel."

Except that's every night, but I don't tell Willow that. Instead, I smile. "Thank you. Both of you. I'll try it tonight."

* * *

After putting Liam down for bed, I get ready for bed myself. When I finally climb underneath the covers, I'm exhausted. I reach for the dream serum on my nightstand, take two teaspoons full of the sugary syrup as instructed, and close my eyes.

I awaken sometime later to the feel of someone holding my hand. I open my eyes, and there in the soft glow of the night light is a man. Angel? I turn on the lamp beside my bed, and when I turn back around, I see Angel sitting on the side of my bed. He's smiling at me. I can hardly believe it.

"Angel?"

He nods. "I'm home, Buffy."

"Oh my god. Is it really you?"

"It's really me."

I can't stand the distance between us anymore, even if it is only inches. I throw myself into his arms. If I hold him tight enough, I can keep him here forever. We stay like this for a few moments, just holding each other.

"Angel, I've missed you so much!" I don't realize I'm sobbing until my tears soak through his shirt. He holds me in his arms while I cry.

Angel disengages from the embrace, but still holds me close. Then he touches my chin and brings my lips to his and we kiss. It's one of those kisses that goes on for a long time, and we pull away only when we both realize the need for air.

He smiles. "I've missed that. I'm so sorry I was away for so long, Buffy. People were in trouble and I couldn't leave them behind without helping them."

"I know. I saw the Oracles. They told me you were where you were needed. I assumed that meant you were sent there for a reason."

"I'm just so sorry I couldn't be here sooner. But I'm here now. And I've missed you terribly."

Over his shoulder, I see my window wide open, and can't help but smile at him. "Did you come through the window?"

"Yeah. For old time's sake, and plus I didn't want to wake up your mother and sister."

"They're not here. Mom has an overnight art thing and Dawnie's spending the night with a friend."

At this, Angel grins. "So we're…alone?"

"Well…"

At just that moment, Liam makes a sound, announcing his presence. Angel turns his head toward the crib, which he apparently hadn't noticed until now. He looks back at me, confused. "There's a baby here."

"Yes, there is." I smile back at him. I've been waiting for this moment to come for so long. "There's something I need to tell you."

"You mean…" Angel doesn't finish his sentence, but I can see his mind is working out what this means.

I nod. "Yes. We have a son, Angel."

A big smile spreads across his face. "We have a son?"

I nod again. "Come on. Come meet him."

I climb out of bed and walk the short distance to the crib. Liam looks up at me, quiet now that he sees I'm here. I scoop Liam up and present him to Angel. "Angel, this is your son Liam. And Liam, this is your daddy."

Angel carefully takes the baby into his arms, a grin still plastered to his face. "Liam. You named him after me."

I nod. "Liam Angel. It seemed fitting."

"Hi, Liam. I'm so glad to meet you. You sure are a surprise." Liam stares at his father, transfixed by his deep voice. Angel looks at me and smiles. "His fingers are so tiny."

I move closer to Angel and lean against him as I watch our son in his arms. "He looks just like his daddy."

"He has your nose though. That's definitely your nose."

Liam starts to get squirmy, and Angel seems at a loss at what to do. "He seems like he's getting unhappy."

"Sometimes he wakes up during the night. He's just tired, and maybe a little hungry. Usually if I nurse him he goes right back to sleep. Bring him to the bed."

Angel follows me to the bed while I open up my shirt. Once I'm settled, I hold out my arms. "Hand him here." Angel gently places the baby into my arms. Liam, needing no instruction, latches on and begins to suckle. Angel sits next to us and watches.

"I can't believe you're a mother."

I smile at him. "It's been an adjustment."

"You're so beautiful. You're a natural. I always knew someday you'd make a wonderful mother."

"Just didn't think it would be so soon, huh?" I smile.

Angel shakes his head. "No, this is certainly a surprise. But I'm not complaining."

"Pretty big adjustment for you too, _Daddy_."

"Yeah. For the longest time, I never thought I'd have children. And suddenly I'm a father." Angel smiles. "I like saying that. I'm a father."

Liam begins to suckle loudly, and I readjust him so that he has a better position. When I look back to Angel, he's staring at my chest, and I have an idea of what he's thinking. "I know, they've gotten huge."

Angel leans forward and whispers. "Is it wrong that I'm a little jealous of him right now?"

I laugh and shove Angel lightly on the arm. "You're terrible!"

"I'm kidding!" he laughs. "Maybe."

I give him a smile. "Don't worry. You'll get your turn later. On second thought…probably not a good idea since I'm…"

"Breastfeeding," Angel finishes.

"Yeah."

"That's okay. I can think of plenty of other things to do to you."

He gives me that lopsided grin of his, and I know he intends to stay true to his word. "Can't wait."

A few minutes later, Liam drifts off to sleep again. I look up at Angel. "Can you hand me that pacifier on the nightstand?"

Angel reaches for the paci and hands it to me. I give it to Liam, who readily accepts it. "This helps him sleep," I explain to Angel. "You want to hold him again?"

Angel nods, and I place the baby into his arms. He smiles at Liam, who sucks the pacifier in his sleep. "He's so beautiful, Buffy."

I lean against his arm and look down at Liam. "Yeah, I'd say we made a good-looking baby."

"It's amazing to think that we actually created a life together, that our love actually…made him."

I lean forward and kiss him on the mouth, then pull back and smile at him.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this by yourself."

"I had help, but we did miss you."

"I'm here now, and if I can help it, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"You know, Liam will probably sleep for a while. And I've really… _really_ missed being with you." I give Angel a look, letting him know what's on my mind. I see the same look reflected back at me.

He leans forward and kisses me softly, then pulls away to stand up. I watch as he gently places Liam back into his crib. I turn off the lamp just as Angel joins me on the bed again.

He presses me down into the mattress as he covers my mouth with his. I tear at the buttons on his shirt, eager to feel his skin against mine. Somehow, we manage to get undressed and underneath the covers in record time.

As promised, Angel lavishes my body with attention. He starts at my neck, then leaves a trail of kisses all the way down my body. His hands follow, touching me everywhere his lips have touched. But I'm getting impatient and wish he'd skip ahead to the good part. Angel must sense my restlessness because he suddenly raises his head and smiles at me. Then he slowly moves over me to join our bodies, and we begin to make love.

I touch his face as he hovers over me and feel so much love between us. A heat pools in the core of my belly and spreads all the way down to my toes as Angel continues to move in me. The heat continues to build until I feel like I'm on the edge. I bite my lip to keep from screaming out.

"Just let it go," he whispers to me.

As I cry out, Angel covers my mouth with his, muffling my sounds, which I'm grateful for since I don't want to wake up Liam.

Impossible as it seems, I immediately feel the heat building inside me once again as Angel quickens his pace. I haven't even recovered from the last wave, but I already feel myself going over the edge again. We come together, and then Angel collapses over me with a satisfied groan. After a few seconds, he rolls over to his side of the bed and rolls me with him.

We're both too exhausted for words after, and I can't even move because my body feels liquefied like jelly. Sleeping has always been so hard for me since Angel has been gone, but I can sleep tonight. I lay my head on his warm chest and feel his arm around me, holding me tight. He kisses my forehead just before I drift off to sleep.

* * *

Angel is not there when I awake. I know it was just a dream, and I wait for the sadness I always feel to settle upon me. It doesn't. Instead I feel happy and sort of drugged, like I'm high and floating on a cloud. The dream felt real and wonderful. I even still feel tingly all over from Angel's touch. I'm tempted to have another spoonful of the dream serum but remember Willow's warning not to overindulge. And anyway, Liam is waking up.

I get out of bed and walk over to the crib. Liam is wiggling his legs, completely undoing the careful swaddling I had done when I put him to bed. His eyes are open and he wants to play.

"Don't you know it's sleeping time, baby boy?" I scoop him up and grab a spare paci from the table. He takes it and seems content for the moment though not sleepy at all.

I kiss him on the forehead and carry him over to the rocker. The dream of Angel still lingers on my mind, and I can't wait for the day when he finally gets to meet his son.

"You'll meet your daddy someday, Liam. I just know it," I whisper to him, then kiss his little forehead again.

* * *

 **A/N:** Hope you all enjoyed the chapter. I do apologize for the lack of updates and appreciate your patience with me as I try to get this story done.

Also, I wanted to let all of my readers know that I will be participating in the IWRY marathon again this year, so look for a bonus story from me sometime in November. It's a oneshot, but it's a really long oneshot, and I think you all will enjoy it! I'll post it here whenever it's posted on the IWRY site. :)


	23. The Ancient One

**CHAPTER 23 – THE ANCIENT ONE**

We're on our way to the Sea District. We've got to start the fight somewhere, and that seems just as good of a place as any. We've not heard much about how things are going in that district, and that concerns us all.

Without our horses, the trek across Astoria is considerably longer. Brutus and Walker are used to the long hours of walking, but I can tell the new guys, Graham and Neville, need a breather.

"How about we take a five-minute rest break?" I say as I put my bag down near the river.

Graham and Neville seem relieved and both go about refilling their water bottles.

Brutus ambles over to the rock I'm sitting on and takes a seat beside me. "At this rate, we'll get to the Sea District by next year," he whispers.

I glance at the men as they take large gulps of water. "Maybe longer than that."

"Maybe we could get a horse," Walker suggests, overhearing our conversation.

"From where?"

Walker shrugs. "I don't know. If we came across a stray one, perhaps? Never mind, terrible idea."

"No, it's not. Horses would certainly make this trip easier. But for now, we have to do without."

Walker nods, then goes about filling up his own water bottle.

"Well, you know, there is a bright side to all of this," Brutus says to me.

"Oh yeah?"

"At least Grayer's not in our group."

I laugh. "That is one unhappy man. I wonder how Roman is faring with him."

After five minutes or so, we're back on the trail. I keep an eye out for edible plants along the way. Fortunately here by the river, the supplies are endless.

"So, what's the Sea District like?" I ask no one in particular.

"The landscape is like nothing else," Walker says. "So peaceful, relaxing. I used to take Alicia and the girls there for vacation all the time. Before…well, you know. Before the Invaders arrived."

"It's probably not so peaceful now," Neville says, speaking up.

None of us know what to expect when we get there, though the only thing we're really certain of is that it couldn't escape the Invaders' influence.

* * *

The afternoon sun beats down on us as we make our way through the wooded area. Fortunately, the trees provide some much needed shade. Walker tells me it's not much longer to go, though it feels like it's been taking forever.

Up ahead, a movement catches my eye. Someone is running towards us, but I can see right away that it's not an Invader. His green skin gives him away.

He's a young man, probably in his mid or late twenties. He stops in front of us and pauses for a brief moment to catch his breath. "I need help! Please!"

"What's wrong?" I ask him.

"My grandfather! He tripped and fell down an abandoned well! I can't get him out by myself!"

"Don't worry, we'll help. Take us to him."

The young man, who I learn is named Yang, leads us off the dirt path we had been following and into the wooded area.

"We were on our way to the river to gather fish for the villagers," Yang explains. "But we thought we were being followed by the Invaders, so we went a different way. I guess we're not familiar with this part of the woods. The well came out of nowhere. It's just a hole in the ground with no covering or anything."

"Is your grandfather hurt bad?" I ask him.

"He's sore. But I think other than a few bruises, he's alright. He's conscious."

"That's a good sign."

About two hundred yards from the path, we come across an overgrown patch of weeds. In the midst of it all, a giant, gaping hole is in the ground.

"There is it," Yang says, then rushes over to the well. "Grandfather! I found some men that can help!"

Peering over the hole, I see an old man huddled at the bottom. It's not too far of a drop, but it's still a steep fall. "Are you alright?" I call out to him.

The elderly man looks up, the light reflecting on his long, white beard. "Very sore," he replies. "But otherwise, I'm okay."

"Brutus, give me that rope in your bag."

Brutus nods, then begins to fish out the rope. He hands it to me, and I tie it to a nearby tree.

"Do you think it's long enough?" Walker asks.

"I hope so."

Together, we unravel the rope and lead it to the hole.

Yang watches this with concern. "I don't think my grandfather will be strong enough to climb out himself."

As I lower the rope into the hole, I can see that it's not long enough. Perhaps it would be if the man were able to stand, but judging from his position, I'm not sure he can.

"Can you reach the rope at all?"

The old man tries, but I can see that moving around is difficult for him.

"My grandfather walks with a cane. I don't think he'll be able to do this."

I nod. "I think you're right." Looking down, I watch as the old man still struggles. "Don't worry, we'll get you out. I'm going to try something else."

I yank the rope back up and untie it from the tree. I then tie it around me and look toward the men. "I'm going in. But I'm going to need you all to help pull us out."

"We've got your covered, Angel," Brutus says.

Once I feel the rope is secure enough, I move to the edge of the hole. "Alright, I'm ready. Lower me in?"

Brutus nods and grabs the rope. The others follow suit, each grabbing a piece of the rope, then carefully begin to lower me into the hole.

It's a tight space, but I still have room to maneuver. When my feet hit the ground, I move carefully as to not step on the old man.

"Are you sure you're alright?" I ask him again.

"I have seen better days, but I am still above sod," he says with a smile.

I smile back at him. "Well let's get you out of this hole. I'm going to see if I can carry you out. Is that alright?"

The man nods. "That is fine."

Taking the man's hand, I gently pull him to his feet and hoist him over my shoulder.

"Alright!" I call up to the others. "Pull us up!"

It's slow going at first, but finally, I feel us being lifted out of the well. As the men pull us out, I hold on to the rope with one hand while digging my boot into the well wall for foothold.

Finally, after a very long couple of minutes, we reach the top. Yang rushes to his grandfather's aid, helping pull him to his feet, while Brutus helps pull me out the rest of the way.

Yang guides his grandfather to a nearby log to sit. "Grandfather, are you sure you're okay?"

The man nods. "I'm fine, Yang. Very bruised, I'm sure, but nothing feels broken."

"That's a relief." Yang then looks up to us. "Thank you, all of you, for your help. I don't know what I would have done if I had not encountered you."

I nod. "You're welcome."

Brutus steps forward and inspects the elderly man a little closer. "The Ancient One?" He then turns to Yang. "You didn't tell us your grandfather is the Ancient One."

Yang shrugs. "He's just Grandfather to me."

I turn to Walker in confusion. "The Ancient One?" I whisper.

"He's a very respected man in our world," Walker replies. "He's a seer."

"I echo my grandson's sentiments," says the Ancient One. "I thank you all for your help. Especially you," he says, smiling at me.

"I'm pleased to meet your acquaintance," I tell him, extending my hand to shake. "I'm Angel."

The Ancient One grins. "Yes, I know exactly who you are. You are the warrior from another world who will be our salvation. I prophesized your arrival. What I didn't anticipate was that you would rescue me personally!" The Ancient One laughs. "I shall watch my step next time!"

* * *

Night falls, and the men and I decide to put up camp for the evening. Yang and his grandfather join us, for the old man is too sore to travel. We all gather around a campfire as Yang prepares us a dinner of fish.

"These were meant for our village," the Ancient One says. "However, we will feast tonight. And tomorrow is another day. We will feed the village then."

"I take it the Invaders ration your food as well?" I ask.

The Ancient One nods. "In the heart of the district, yes, food is rationed. But where our village is, we fend for ourselves. Fortunately the river and ocean are nearby. My grandson and I venture out here every chance we get so as to provide food for our friends and neighbors."

Neville is caught staring at the old man's cane, and the Ancient One takes notice. "I know what you must be thinking. Why is an old man such as myself trekking out here to the river every day to fish? Well, it's a pleasure. I refuse to allow anyone, especially the children, suffer from an empty stomach."

"We hunt back at home to feed our village as well," Walker says as he begins to dig in to the plate Yang had just handed to him.

"Which district are you from?" Yang asks.

"The Forest District originally, though…" Walker glances at me. "We've since…relocated."

"We've been hiding out in the tunnels in the mountains," I tell Yang. "Half of the village anyway. We couldn't convince everyone to come."

Yang stares at me, looking impressed. "How did you manage that?"

"Very carefully. Unfortunately the Invaders know where we are now, but we've put in safeguards so that the families will be well protected."

"That is very courageous of you," the Ancient One says.

"Come back with us," Brutus says. "We can keep you safe."

The Ancient One smiles. "Thank you, but I must decline. Until all of the people in my district are safe and sound, I do not feel comfortable leaving."

"What if they were all safe?" I ask him. "There's more than enough room for everyone."

The Ancient One smiles again. "You must have a plan."

I nod, then hold up my axe. The light from the fire reflects on the shiny blade. "It may take a while, but if I have to take out every single one of them, then that's what I'm going to do."

* * *

With our stomachs full, most of the men decide to call it a night and roll out their sleeping bags. Someone has to keep watch though, so I volunteer for the first shift. I'm used to staying up anyway.

The fire begins to die, so I throw another limb on it to get it roaring again. It's the beginning of summer, but the night air still has a bit of a chill. Plus, it wards off the bugs which is also a plus.

Reaching into my pocket, I pull out my wallet. The Velcro is ragged from repeated openings, but as long as it can still hold Buffy's picture, I'm going to keep it. I carefully take out Buffy's photograph and stare at her for a good long moment.

It's times like these, in the quiet of the night, that I miss her the most.

* * *

 _I threw another log onto the fire and watched as it roared to life. When I turned around, I saw Buffy smiling at me from the couch. She was wrapped up to her neck in a blanket._

" _Does that feel better?"_

 _Buffy nodded. "Yes, much. But maybe you should come over here and keep me warm with your body heat too."_

" _Now that I finally have body heat to give, right?" I said with a laugh as I joined her on the couch. She offers me half of the blanket and together, we cozy up next to each other in front of the fire._

" _I love that you have body heat now," she said as she rested her head on my shoulder. "You're so warm."_

" _That's funny, because I used to think the same thing about you. You know…before."_

 _Underneath the blanket, Buffy touched my leg with her ice cold foot which made me jump. Buffy just laughed. "But not anymore, right?"_

" _You're freezing!"_

" _Told you."_

" _I may have another way of keeping you warm."_

 _Buffy smiled at me. "Oh yeah? Does this way of keeping me warm involve you taking off your shirt?"_

" _Yes."_

" _Does it involve me taking off mine as well?"_

" _Uh-huh. It involves you taking off everything in fact."_

" _Are you sure that'll keep me warm? Sounds a little backwards."_

" _Oh trust me," I said as I touched her chin and tilted her face up to mine. "You'll be burning up."_

* * *

"She must mean a great deal to you. You've been staring at that picture for quite a while."

I look up and see the Ancient One standing beside me. "Yes, she does mean a great deal to me."

The old man sits on the log next to me and inspects the photograph a little closer. "Someone you love back at home?"

I nod. "She's the only girl I've ever loved. I wanted to marry her."

"I sense sadness in your voice. You didn't marry?"

"No. I ended up here before I had a chance. It's not that I don't mind helping you and your people. But I just miss her so much."

"May I?" The Ancient One holds out his palm, indicating he would like to take the photograph. I hand it to him and watch as the old man closes his eyes for a moment. I want to ask what he's doing, but I'm afraid I'll break his concentration.

Finally after a very long minute, he opens his eyes and hands the photograph back to me.

"I can feel her energy," he says. "She gave this photograph to you."

"Yes, she did. A really long time ago."

"Loving her has not been easy, for the two of you have had many obstacles to face."

I nod. "We've had our ups and downs, yes. That's very perceptive of you."

"Not perception. Intuition. I sense these things."

"Can you tell me anything else?" I ask, my curiosity piqued.

The Ancient One nods. "Yes. I can sense her love for you, as well as your love for her. It's a very rare kind of love, one that is true and pure."

"Do you think I'll ever see her again?"

The Ancient One smiles. "Without a doubt in my mind. True love is one that can survive many obstacles, no matter how difficult the circumstances. I have a feeling that when you return home, she will be waiting for you with open arms."

"I sure hope so."

Yang then walks over to us. "Grandfather, you should get to bed. It's late."

"I'll sleep when I die," the old man says with a laugh.

"He's right though," I tell him. "Some rest might do you some good. I'm sure you need to get an early start tomorrow."

The Ancient One laughs. "The warrior twists my arm! Alright, I relent. I shall go to bed."

Before he gets to his feet, the ground momentarily shakes and is accompanied by loud, thundering footsteps. The three of us look up in alarm. We all know what this means. Only a dragon could make a sound like that.

Seconds later, our campsite becomes a flurry of activity. The men who had just settled in for bed are wide-awake now, and we all quickly gather our belongings.

Yang slings his own bag onto his back, then picks his grandfather up to carry him.

"Up ahead there's a small cave!" Yang shouts to us. "We can seek shelter! We're headed there now!"

Neville and Graham are quick on Yang's heels, while Walker, Brutus, and myself gather the last of our things.

The footsteps of the dragon are closer, and Brutus looks up in alarm. "I'm getting the hell out of here!" With that, he follows the others into the woods.

Walker and I are the last to leave the area. As we run through the woods, the sound of the dragon getting closer by the moment, I pause for a moment and feel the wallet in my shirt pocket.

With my free hand, I yank it open. Just as I feared, Buffy's picture is not inside. In my haste, I had forgotten it! And I knew exactly where I had left it…right on top of the log. I curse myself for putting it down. Torn between wanting to get the hell out of there and away from the dragon or go back to get Buffy's picture, I hesitate for a moment.

"Angel, come on!" Walker yells when he notices I've stopped running.

"You go!" I yell back at him. "I'll be right behind you!"

Walker stands there, shaking his head at me.

"GO!"

With that, Walker nods and runs off.

I run all the way back to the campsite. Spotting the log with Buffy's picture atop it, I grab it and shove it into my pocket. It's at that very moment that I feel a hot gust of air on my face. Glancing sideways, I spot the snout of the dragon mere inches from me.

"Not this again," I mutter as I back away slowly, fearing any sudden movement will cause the dragon to retaliate. "Nice dragon. Not hungry dragon. Nor angry. Just a nice, fire-breathing dragon."

The dragon watches me, never taking its eyes away from me. If I don't create a diversion, and soon, I'm as good as dead.

 _You have to come back to me_.

"I'll come back to you, Buffy. I've battled much worse than this, haven't I?" Spotting a rock on the ground, I carefully bend down to pick it up. It's a large rock, though small enough to hold with one hand. I have no idea if this will work, but I'm praying it will.

Suddenly, I throw the rock some distance away and hit the tree I was aiming for. The dragon turns his head at the sound, and I hightail it out of there, well aware that I only have mere seconds for escape. It'll have to be enough though.

With adrenaline pumping through me, I weave my way through the forest with my heavy backpack bouncing behind me. I realize that running toward the cave will only lead the dragon to the others, so I change direction and run the other way. Near me, a bush engulfs into flame. I don't have to look back to know that the dragon is right behind me. Maybe it was a little crazy of me to go back and get Buffy's picture, but I can't imagine how I would go on if I had lost it.

The dragon has to weave itself through a mass of large trees, which works in my favor. I'm smaller and I can get through them much easier. Finally I spot what appears to be a wall of trees and underbrush. I dive in, knowing the dragon cannot follow me here, and I scare off the small critters and rodents as I make my way through the brush.

Suddenly, the brush ignites into flame. The dragon is trying to smoke me out, and it's working. Outside, he's waiting for me, and I take off running again. The dragon puffs, and a fireball lands on the ground near me, charring the ground. Thankfully, it missed me.

I'm not so lucky the next time.

Looking down, I see my upper arm on fire. Dropping to the ground, I start to roll to put out the fire. I know without even looking that my shirt is charred.

The dragon squawks behind me. I get up and get moving again.

Up ahead is what appears to be a very large ditch. Having no choice, I jump in and take cover, hoping the dragon will lose sight of me and fly off somewhere.

Above me, I hear the wings of the giant beast flapping, and sparing a glance up, I watch as the dragon flies away.

I breathe a sigh of relief. Once again, I managed to escape a dragon. It's only then that I realize my upper arm is burning like hell.

* * *

" _Feeling warmer?" I asked Buffy as we lay wrapped up in the blanket in front of the fire after making love._

" _Mmm-hmm," she mumbled as she buried her face into my shoulder._

" _See, I promised you that you would." I said, then gave her forehead a light kiss. "It feels so good to have you in my arms." I tightened my hold around her._

 _Buffy's arm rested over my stomach, and if possible, she nuzzled even closer to me. "It feels so good being in your arms."_

 _She looked up at me, and not being able to resist, I kissed her again._

 _We lay there in silence for a while, and Buffy began to trace circles around my chest with her finger. "If someone had told me a few weeks ago that we'd be together like this, I would have told them they were crazy."_

" _Me too."_

 _She looked up at me again and smiled. "We did it, Angel. Every single obstacle that has been in our way and kept us apart, we got through it. And we came out stronger in the end."_

" _Yeah, we did."_

 _Something in the tone of my voice or the expression on my face must have alerted Buffy that something was bothering me. "What? What is it?"_

" _I don't know. Do you ever think…me becoming human. Do you ever think it was too easy? You know? One second I was a vampire. The next, I was finally human. Almost seems too easy."_

" _Yeah, but I'm not complaining."_

" _No, neither am I. I just…I don't know. I guess I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop."_

 _Buffy placed her finger over my lips. "Shh, don't talk like that. There's nothing that could keep us apart anymore. Except maybe for death itself. And I don't know about you, but I intend to live for a very long time."_

 _I smiled at her. "So do I," I whispered as I bent down to kiss her lips again._

* * *

"Ahh," I wince as Walker puts some sort of ointment on my arm.

"Sorry," Walker says. "But you need to get this ointment on that burn. It'll do wonders. Trust me."

I spare a glance at the burn wound on my arm. "That looks really bad."

"I've seen worse. Angel, what were you thinking going back there?"

"I know, it was stupid." In my hand, I stare down at Buffy's picture illuminated by the light of the fire. "But I had to save her picture. This is the only way I get to see her now, and somehow, I just don't know how I could go on if I couldn't see her every day. Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing if our situations were reversed."

Walker puts the lid on the jar of ointment and sits down next to me. "You're right. I carry around a picture of Alicia in my wallet too. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't be with her."

Yang and the Ancient One emerge from the other side of the woods. I hadn't even realized they were gone. "Where have you two been?"

"Grandfather believes that dragon is a female. He thinks she's protecting her eggs."

"Eggs? Well that's never a good sign," I say. "Althea was right. They're breeding."

"I didn't know dragons were even in these woods," Walker says. "I know they're in the forest, but I wouldn't expect to find them here."

"The dragons are here too," the Ancient One says. "And before long, they will be everywhere in Astoria, even in our own backyards. However, there are not too many in the woods just yet, which leads me to believe a female has made a nest here."

"We need to find those eggs," I tell the men. "If that is in fact a dragon protecting her offspring, then we need to destroy them."

"I agree," says the Ancient One. "When it is light, I will be able to see if there are any dragon tracks nearby. If so, they will lead us to her nest."

"Won't it also lead us to the dragon?" Walker asks. I can sense the fear in his voice.

"I think it's time to stop playing defense," I tell them, a plan hatching in my mind. "This time, we'll surprise _her_."

* * *

When morning comes, we set about tracking down the dragon. It doesn't take long for the Ancient One to find tracks.

"There's a meadow about a hundred yards from here. I believe that is where we will find the dragon," he says.

"What's your plan, Angel?" Brutus asks.

"When do dragons normally attack?" I ask Brutus.

He shrugs. "Night most of the time. Sometimes late afternoon."

"So when do they sleep?"

Brutus smiles. "Probably in the morning."

"Exactly. If we're quiet and the dragon is sleeping, then we have an extra advantage."

"But how exactly are we going to take down the dragon?" Walker asks.

"With your help, Walker."

Walker looks stunned. "With…my help? Wh-what do you need me to do?"

"Relax, it's something you know how to do very well. We'll need your crossbow."

Walker takes the crossbow from his bag and hands it to me. "How is a crossbow going to kill a dragon?"

"Simple," I say as I dig out a book of matches from my pocket. "We're going to fight fire with fire."

* * *

Up ahead, as predicted, we find the dragon. She is in fact, sleeping, and I try not to get too excited that our plan is going smoothly for now.

We don't talk, for it's too much of a risk to wake up the sleeping giant. Carefully, I go to work at making a torch of one of the arrows.

Standing next to me, Walker is ready. We're only going to have one shot at this, and I know that makes Walker nervous. I, however, have complete confidence in him.

Finally, the arrow is ready, and I hand it to Walker. He loads it into his crossbow and prepares his shot.

Walker glances at me, and I can see the nervous fear in his eyes. If he doesn't make this shot, we might be in some serious trouble. But I nod at him and smile, telling him with my eyes that I have every confidence in him that he will make this shot.

Turning his attention back to the dragon, Walker raises the crossbow again, sets his aim on the dragon, and fires the arrow.

A ball of fire hits the sleeping dragon square between her eyes. The dragon makes a terrible noise and moves about in a wild, erratic manner. Her entire head is now engulfed in flames.

Walker moves back, his eyes fixed on the dragon.

"You did it, Walker," I say to him, patting him on the back.

"Yeah. I…I did, didn't I? I…I killed a _dragon_."

"She's not dead yet," Brutus says.

"Oh, she will be," I tell him. "Just watch."

Sure enough, after several minutes of howling and screaming, the dragon finally succumbs to her injuries and falls the ground with a loud, thundering thud.

* * *

After the dragon is killed, Brutus and I set about chopping its charred remains. If for no other reason than to make sure it's really dead.

It is.

Nearby, Yang and the Ancient One emerge from the bushes. In Yang's hands are two very large eggs.

"Grandfather was right," he says. "These are dragon eggs. We must destroy them."

"Put them on the ground," I tell Yang, who sits them down beside me. "Oh, and you might want to step back. This could get messy."

Yang nods and he and his grandfather move out of the way.

I then raise my axe over my head and slam it onto the eggs. Sure enough, it's a gooey mess which splatters all over me, but I'll take the mess over another dragon encounter any day.


	24. The Sea District

**CHAPTER 24 – THE SEA DISTRICT**

Yang and his grandfather go back to the river to resume their fishing, while the other men and I pack up to leave our temporary camp. The cave Yang had told us about was indeed a good shelter, but unfortunately too small for seven men. Luckily for us, the dragon problem had been taken care of.

"Angel?"

I look up to see Graham standing behind me. The man had been quiet for most of the trip, hanging close to his buddy Neville most of the time. He looks pale right about now. "What is it?"

"I'm just…concerned about our mission."

"Concerned…how?"

"I just don't know if we can do it."

"Graham, you're not giving up on me now, are you? Think about your family back at home. You have a wife and family, don't you?"

Graham nods.

"They're counting on you, and we've come too far to give up now."

"I know. But I just don't know what we can do. How can a small group of men take on an army?"

"The same way you eat an elephant."

Graham looks at me, confused.

"One bite at a time."

"And how can one man kill a dragon?" Walker says as he walks over to us, having overheard the last bit of our conversation. "With a fire arrow." A smile is still plastered on his face. I've never seen Walker have more confidence in his ability than he does at this very moment.

"Prime example right there," I say to Graham and point to Walker. "If one man can kill a dragon, then surely a small group of men could kill an army."

"The army is like a hundred dragons," Graham says.

"Well then we'll just have to get creative, just like we did with killing the dragon. Wait a second." I can't help the smile on my face, and Walker looks at me.

"I know that look. You've got an idea."

"Just a musing. Got any extra crossbow arrows with you?"

"Yes, I have extra. Why?"

"I was just thinking. It's a great weapon to use for an ambush."

* * *

Later that afternoon, the men and I finally arrive to the Sea District, where Yang and his grandfather graciously offer us room to stay at their house. It's small, and a step above a ramshackle cabin, but we're not complaining.

As we cross the yard to the house, I look around cautiously. There are no Invaders in sight. In fact, the only thing I can see are long stretches of sea grass and ocean. "Where is everyone?"

"Grandfather and I live in the rural section of the district," Yang explains. "The Invader presence is more pronounced in the center of the district. Everyone out here tends to be forgotten, which is a blessing and a curse. Our villagers are terribly hungry. We moved out here when things became worse, and to be closer to those who are more in need."

"Where exactly are they?" Brutus asks.

"Half a mile that way," Yang asks, pointing down the beach.

"Please, make yourselves at home," the Ancient One says as he opens the door and invites us into his home.

The inside looks better than the outside, albeit small, but it's cozy.

"How about I prepare us some tea?" the Ancient One asks.

"Allow me, Grandfather. You've had a long walk. You need to rest."

"And you need to get the fish to our neighbors."

"I will. But first, please rest."

The Ancient One relents, sitting down in the wingback chair in the living room. The rest of us make ourselves comfortable. "My grandson. He always looks out for me."

"Well you've always looked out for me," Yang says. "I'll get everyone some tea." With that, Yang disappears into the kitchen.

"I've taken care of Yang ever since he was a small boy. His parents passed away when he was young and I stepped in to raise him. We're all each other has. And now I'm afraid I don't have many years left in me. I hate to leave my grandson alone in the world that Astoria has now become."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," I tell him. "So, tell me, how bad is it here? I know you and Yang talked a little about what life is like here and how the villagers often go hungry. But I sense you haven't told us everything."

"No, I haven't. You see, as Yang has mentioned, those of us out here in the rural areas are cut off from the rest of the district. While life is difficult for those who live closer to town, they at least get a ration of food. We, however, do not. Fortunately there is plenty of fish to go around."

"What's life like for the people who live in town?" Walker asks.

"They're put to work. Mostly on the fishing boats. They work our villagers to the bone only to feed the stomachs of our enemies. Yang and I were able to escape along with a few others. We sensed things would get worse, and we tried to convince others to come with us. But the people were scared. They did not want to lose their lives. Though now, in a sense, they have lost their lives. They can no longer live as freely as they did before. They are slaves. It is terrible."

"We can relate to that."

"Yes, I imagine you can. Unfortunately we could not convince as many to relocate as you have done."

"Do you have electricity in this district?" Brutus asks. "We lost ours before we left."

"Intermittent," the Ancient One replies. "Power outages are frequent. I do not know why. Tell me, Angel. What do you need from us? Yang and I will do everything we can to help."

"Well, for starters, offering us a place to stay is a huge help. But I do need something else from you."

"Name it."

"I'm not familiar with this district, and only Walker and Brutus have any knowledge of the layout of the area. Do you have a map?"

"I do. Look on that bookshelf." The Ancient One points to a bookshelf in the corner of the room.

Brutus, who is the closest, stands up to look on the shelf.

"It's in that blue folder."

Brutus nods and grabs the folder, then hands it to me.

Inside, I find a map not just of the Sea District, but of all the districts as well as the surrounding uninhabited areas of Astoria. "Can I keep these? We may need them all."

"Yes, of course. Take them. I have no need for them anyway."

Spreading the map of the Sea District on the coffee table, the men and I gather around it.

"This is where we are," the Ancient One says, pointing to a spot on the map.

I run my finger along the center of the map. "And this, I take it, is where town is."

The Ancient One nods. "Yes."

While the Ancient One points out a few more locations on the map, Yang comes back into the room with a tray of tea.

"Here you all are."

The Ancient One takes the tea Yang offers him. "Thank you, Yang."

Yang sets the tray down on the end table. "If you'll all excuse me, I have a fish delivery to make."

"So, Angel, what's the plan?" Walker asks me.

"I'm thinking we ambush them."

"Ambush them?" Neville asks, his expression wary.

"Yes, we ambush them. Tonight. A surprise attack is our best defense."

"If you're going to attack the Invaders, may I make a suggestion?" says the Ancient One.

I nod. "Of course."

"There are several powerful Invaders in this area, but you should go after Moros first."

"Moros?"

The Ancient One takes a sip of his tea before answering. "Moros is one of the most feared Invaders in this region. He is the one in charge of the loading docks and the people who are forced to work there. If a worker does not work fast enough, or if their work is not to his satisfaction, the worker suffers. Of course, I say worker, but what I really mean is slave."

"Suffers how?" Walker asks.

The Ancient One looks to Walker. "Denied food rations most of the time. Forced to work in terrible weather conditions other times. But if Moros continues to be dissatisfied with them, he doesn't hesitate to kill them."

Walker shakes his head. "That's terrible."

The Ancient One nods. "Yes. Unfortunately, it is what our world has come to. I feel fortunate enough that Yang and I escaped, but I feel guilt for leaving the rest behind, for I know they are suffering more than we are."

"Well we're not just here to kill the Invaders," I tell him. "We're here to save your people too. If we bring them here, do you feel they'll be safe?"

"Yes, much safer than in town."

"Okay, then that's what we'll do. Now, tell me where to find Moros."

* * *

Before leaving, I needed one more thing. And luckily, the Ancient one had exactly what I was looking for.

"Occasionally Yang goes hunting," he says as he hands me a crossbow.

The other men, besides Walker, feel more comfortable using other weapons. But I can use a crossbow if needed, and it's one of the few weapons we can fire from a distance. And if we're planning to ambush the Invaders, a little distance might come in handy.

"We'll need more arrows as well," Walker says.

The Ancient One looks back into the closet and pulls out a box and hands it to me. "There should be enough in there."

"Thank you. I can't promise we'll return any of this."

"How about you defeat the enemy, and we'll call it even?"

I nod. "Done."

* * *

As soon as night falls, the men and I head toward town. We walk near the cliffs by the shore for cover, and so far, we've encountered no one.

I've given Neville, who seems to be adept at reading maps, the responsibility of leading us to where we need to go.

"This way," he says, pointing west.

Neville leads us down a sandy path until we come upon some wooden stairs.

"This must lead up to the boardwalk," Walker says. "I think I remember this place."

"It does lead to the boardwalk," Neville says, pointing to the map.

"Which means we need to start looking for Moros," I tell the men.

The Ancient One gave us a thorough description of Moros, and added that when we saw Moros, we would recognize him. I keep my eye out for a big, burly invader with long dark hair and a matching beard.

We reach the boardwalk, which is deserted, though we're all on high-alert that someone could spot us.

"It's so strange seeing no tourists here," Walker says. "When I took the girls here before, this place was packed."

Up ahead, I see amusement park rides that have long since been abandoned. "That's just wrong. Not only do they make the adults suffer, but the children have to suffer too."

Walker nods. "When the girls found out I was coming to the Sea District, they asked if they could come with me. Lilith wants to ride the carousel again. I don't think they realize that the Invaders are everywhere."

Sidling up to Neville, I take a peek at the map. "How much longer until we get to the docks?"

"Not far. A mile? Maybe a mile and a half?"

We walk in silence as we get closer to the docks. In the distance, we see some Astorians loading up crates and boxes onto a ship. Nearby, Invaders watch them, presumably keeping guard.

"There are so many of them," Walker whispers.

"So what do we do?" Neville asks, turning to me for direction.

"We're going to ambush them, but we're not going to go about this all willy-nilly. The last thing we want is to hurt innocent people."

The men nod in agreement.

Surveying the surroundings, I spot a building near the docks that seems to be dark and unoccupied. Looking up at it, the roof, I decide, makes the perfect spot for us.

I nod toward the building. "Come on. We'll go to the roof. We need some place high up where we can get a better angle."

We take the long way to the building, hoping to avoid detection from the Invaders. Fortunately, they seemed to be focused on the workers and don't notice us.

The building, I realize, appears to be a warehouse. The smell of fish is overwhelming, but it looks empty which works in our favor.

"How do we get to the roof?" Walker whispers to me.

I don't answer his question right away. Instead, the men follow me around the perimeter of the building. A ladder leading up to a fire escape is in the back.

"That's how we get on the roof," I tell Walker, pointing to the ladder.

Once I get to the top, I take a look toward the docks. "This is perfect. I knew this would be a good angle."

Walker looks to me as he grabs a handful of arrows for his crossbow. "Do you think we'll be able to get a shot from here?"

"You tell me."

Walker looks over the edge and smiles. "Oh yeah, I've shot deer from farther distances than here."

"So now what?" Brutus asks.

"Hand me both of those night vision goggles." Brutus looks in his bag and hands them to me. I give one of them to Walker, then I put on the other one. Though we have ample street light, this helps us see in the dark from a distance.

"Where did you get those from?" Graham asks.

"Carter found them in the tunnels. Unfortunately we only have the two."

"Why do I need them?" Walker asks. "Surely one of the others would have more benefit from them."

"Walker, you're our best shot with a crossbow, even better than me. You'll need it the most. Alright, here's the plan. Gather around." We form a huddle on the rooftop and the men look at me expectantly. "Before we attack, we need to recon, which means we need to see what's going on. That includes where the guards are posted, where the civilians are located, and any guard shift changes. Once we have a good idea on where the Invaders are, they'll be easy to kill."

"Easy?" Neville asks hesitantly.

"Okay, maybe not easy, but not impossible. Walker and I will take down the majority of them. But I want the rest of you on the ground."

Neville's eyes widen. "Isn't that dangerous?"

"Everything about this is dangerous. Now listen and stop interrupting. I want you three, Neville, Graham, and Brutus to take charge in locating the Astorians. Once they realize the guards are down, they'll want to get away. I need to you take charge and lead them back to the village. Can you handle that?"

Brutus nods. "We can handle that."

"Good. But keep your weapons close. Walker and I can't get them all. If you see an Invader, don't hesitate to take him down, but try not to bring attention to yourself. Wait until Walker and I bring a few of them down before you make your move."

"You can count on us, Angel," Brutus says, then leads the men off the roof. I trust Brutus will not let me down.

"Now what, Angel?" Walker asks.

"Now we wait for our shot."

* * *

The night vision goggles help tremendously. With so many people on the docks, it's easy to confuse who may be a civilian and who is an Invader, but with the night vision, it's easier to distinguish.

"How are we going to get a clear shot?" Walker asks.

"Wait until they finish unloading this boat. They'll probably spread out a little after that.

We waited for a while, and I hoped Brutus and the others were staying well-hidden. The last thing we needed was for someone to spot one of us. Being on the offensive was better than being on the defensive.

Finally, the crowd began to thin out as the Astorians moved away from the boats towards the warehouses.

I give Walker the cue, and together, we raise our crossbows.

"I've got the one at 3 o'clock," I tell Walker.

"And I'll take the one at 9 o'clock."

From the roof, Walker and I take our shots. I have a clear shot of a guard near the docks. He goes down. Walker also manages to bring his guard down.

Quickly, we reload our crossbows. The other guards don't realize their comrades have fallen, and this gives us a few precious seconds to continue our ambush.

"You take guards on the left," I tell Walker. "I'll get the ones on the right."

Walker nods and together, we fire again.

It doesn't take long for the remaining guards, as well as the Astorians, to figure out that something is happening. The Astorians seemed torn between wanting to flee and staying put. In a few moments, pandemonium is going to strike. I hope Brutus, Graham, and Neville are ready.

"We need to get down on the ground," I tell Walker, who quickly follows my lead to the ladder. While the rooftop made a great place for a surprise attack, it won't take the rest of the guards long to figure out where the arrows were coming from, and we don't want to be trapped on the roof.

Once back on the ground, Walker follows me down an alley and we take cover behind a large dumpster. Nearby, I can hear the footsteps of several guards. From there, we continue our battle. Not all arrows hit their targets, but some do, and we manage to take down a few of them.

"Angel, I'm out of arrows," Walker whispers to me after a few minutes of fighting.

"Here, take this one. It's my last one." I hand the arrow to Walker.

"What about you?"

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I have a backup plan." I reach for my trusty axe in my sling.

Up ahead, a large, burly Invader with long dark hair, and an equally long beard, emerges from one of the ships. He matches the description given to me, and I know without a doubt that it's Moros.

Moros begins yelling at the wounded guards, but they're too weak to come to his defense. Grabbing my axe, I get up from my hiding spot.

"Angel, where are you going?" Walker asks.

"To kill Moros. You go help the others get those people to safety!"

"You're going to go up against Moros by yourself?"

"I'll be fine. Go get those people."

Walker nods, though I can tell he's hesitant to leave me, then heads off in the opposite direction.

I tighten the grip on my axe as I charge toward the burly and fierce-looking Invader. His eyes widen when he spots me, and he immediately pulls out his sword.

No match for my axe.

"You Moros?" I ask him, though I know good and well he is.

"Who wants to know?" he snarls.

"I'm your worst nightmare," I tell him, thinking of how proud Buffy would be that her punning habit has rubbed off on me a little.

I raise my axe in preparation for attack. Moros too raises his sword. He strikes first, aiming to slice my side, but I dodge the move and slam my axe down. He's quick though, and I miss him.

Moros strikes at me again with his sword, and I stop the blade with my axe. My aim is to disarm him first. It'll be easier to fight if he doesn't have a weapon. I then bring my axe up and the blade of the axe hits Moros in the wrist. Seconds later, his sword slips out of his hand.

Despite his injury and obvious pain, Moros reaches for the fallen weapon with his other hand, but I'm fast and grab it before he can. I toss it behind me, out of his reach, and swing my axe at him again. Moros dodges. I swing again, and once again, he dodges.

Determined to not let this son of a bitch get away, I muster all the strength I have to slam the axe at him one more time. My blade connects with his shoulder, and he cries out from the sudden pain. Good. Now he'll be an easy kill. Distracted from his injury, I swing the blade of the axe at his ridged face. Blood splatters as he falls to the ground. Once on the ground, he stares back at me with glassy eyes, and I know that he is dead. Not a pretty sight, but one I'm glad to see.

"One more down. A hundred more to go," I mutter.

I retrieve Moros's sword from the ground as I leave the docks. It never hurts to have another weapon in our arsenal.

* * *

Back at the village, Yang and the Ancient One, along with several more of the villagers, tend to the newcomers by providing them with food and shelter. I try to help, but fear I'm in the way, so I take a walk to clear my head.

I head to the beach where the smell of the salty sea air and the waves crashing upon the shore relaxes me. I collapse on the sand, exhausted, and stare up at the starry sky as I listen to the ocean.

Keeping busy keeps my mind occupied. But now that I finally have a moment to breathe, my thoughts return to Buffy. Sometimes I wish she were here, fighting alongside me. With her help, I know I could get this job done much quicker. But then, I feel guilty for thinking that. I wouldn't want Buffy here in this dangerous place. I just want to go home to her. And I feel guilty for thinking that too.

Up in the sky, the stars are bright. I see more of them in the sky than I do at home. Too much light pollution at home. But here, I feel as if I can see every star in the sky. I scan the heavens for my favorite constellations. It's nice to see something familiar in a world that is far from home.

And once again, I am reminded of how much I miss Buffy.

* * *

" _Where are we going?" I asked Buffy as we walked on the beach._

" _You'll see," was her vague reply._

 _It was April, and the ocean breeze left a nip in the evening air, but it was deserted. And Buffy wanted to show me a special place._

 _After walking for what seemed like at least a mile, we came upon a secluded area surrounded by cliffs, which gave some semblance of privacy._

" _This is it," Buffy said with a smile. "What do you think?"_

" _I like it."_

 _A while later, we had a blanket spread out and a fire going, and Buffy decided to show me how to make s'mores._

" _Now you put a layer of chocolate on the graham cracker, then you put the marshmallows on top."_

" _Easier said than done," I said with a laugh as I fiddled with the gooey mess. It wasn't as perfect as Buffy's. "It looks…a little uneven."_

" _That's okay," she said with a little laugh. "It'll taste just the same. Now top it off with another graham cracker and make it like a little graham cracker sandwich."_

 _I did as Buffy instructed and pressed the graham cracker against the marshmallow._

" _There you go!" Buffy said. "Your first s'more! Try it."_

" _Well it does look good."_

 _Buffy watched as I took a bite, then smiled in satisfaction when I moaned._

" _Good?"_

" _Oh yeah," I mumbled with a mouthful of graham cracker._

 _We each finished off our s'mores, and afterwards, we did what we usually ended up doing when we were alone. Buffy made herself comfortable in my lap and began to unbutton my shirt._

" _I don't know if we should do this here," I said._

" _Why?" Buffy continued to undo my buttons._

" _Isn't this sort of a public place?"_

 _Buffy momentarily stopped fiddling with my shirt buttons and looked around the beach. "I don't see anyone. Do you?"_

 _She had me there._

" _Don't you want to make love on the beach?"_

 _I answered Buffy by kissing her, and she laughed just before we began a serious make-out session._

" _Wait…" I gently pushed Buffy away so that I could get a word in. "I didn't bring any protection."_

 _Buffy grinned. "I did." She then proceeded to reach into her bag and pulled out a handful of condoms, which she then scattered on the blanket._

" _I guess we're going to be here a while, huh?"_

" _Shh, no more talking," she ordered as she held a condom in front of me. "Now, take off your clothes, put this on…" She gave me a wanton grin. "And let me be on top first."_

" _Yes ma'am."_

 _Two hours and a few condoms later, Buffy and I were wrapped up in a blanket. I needed a breather, and Buffy relented, though she was still raring to go. She forgets I'm not superhuman anymore. I'm just human now._

" _Look at those stars," Buffy whispered, gazing up at the sky. It was a clear night with dozens of stars dotting the sky._

" _There's the constellation Leo," I told her as I pointed above us._

" _I don't see it."_

" _See those bright stars that sort of form like a box? And see the stars coming from the top right like a hook? Look for the stars that look like a backwards question mark."_

 _Buffy squinted and tried to make out what I was describing. "Oh yeah, I do see that. What's that supposed to be? A duck?"_

" _No, a lion," I said with a laugh._

" _What else is there?"_

" _Hmm, let's see. I scanned the sky, looking for another familiar constellation. "You see those three stars in a row?"_

" _Yeah."_

" _That's the belt of Orion the hunter. See how it sort of looks like a person?" I pointed out a few more stars to help her see it better._

" _I still can't see it. I see the three stars in a row though."_

" _If I had a book of constellations maybe I could show you. It's easier to find them when you know what the outline looks like."_

" _How do you know all this? The only constellation I can ever pick out is the big dipper!"_

" _Well when you live over 200 years, you have a lot of time to learn different things. Plus, back in the day, we didn't have GPS devices to help us find the way. Sometimes we had to rely on the sky to find out where we were."_

 _I turned away from the sky and looked at Buffy, who was looking right back at me. She gave me a smile, then nuzzled closer to me under the blanket. She had her arm draped across me, and I felt her hand brush my side. Then my hip. Then my thigh. Then somewhere else…_

 _Buffy looked up at me expectantly with a smile. "Have you had enough time to recharge yet?"_

 _I laughed. "You're going to kill me."_

" _Well that certainly would be a fun way to go," she said with a laugh as she climbed on top of me again._

* * *

"Angel?"

I open my eyes and see Walker standing over me.

"Were you sleeping?"

I sit up and shake my head. "No, just resting my eyes. And…thinking."

"Mind if I join you?"

I tell him it's fine and Walker sits on the sand next to me.

"We did good work tonight, didn't we?" Walker asks.

I nod. "Yeah. Those people are safe. We did good."

"Makes me feel like maybe we can win this war."

I give Walker a smile. I don't want to tell him that I think the war is far from over.

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed. The flashback is my favorite part in particular. :)

Also, I wanted to let my readers know that in case you missed it, my new story has been posted! But it's pretty long, so if you're a slow reader like me, you might want to wait until you have a good stretch of time to read it. Enjoy!


	25. The Sea District, pt 2

**CHAPTER 25 – SEA DISTRICT, PT. 2**

Our work in the Sea District is far from over. Yang tells us of a heavily-guarded apartment building that houses many families. All residents are put to work. The men work in the nearby fish factory. The women are forced to make clothing, quilts, and things of a similar nature. Even the children aren't spared as they are forced to sit in booths for hours on end and peddle goods.

Yang, who knows this city well, has accompanied us this time. We follow him as we make our way to the downtown section of the city the following night. We keep behind buildings and use the alleys to stay out of sight from the constant presence of the Invader guards.

Tonight, we're looking for Lord Ares, another feared Invader. Like Moros, he is a head Invader. Unlike Moros, he prefers to stay out of sight in his penthouse while ordering his minions to do his bidding. Though the few unlucky ones that have been dragged up to the top floor to see him have walked away fearing for their lives…if they came out at all. I liken him to some sort of dreaded mob boss.

Yang stops and nods ahead. "That's it."

In the middle of what appears to be a commercial district is a tall building. And it's five stories high.

"That's a lot of people," I say to him.

Yang nods. "Yes. About twenty apartments."

"And a lot of guards too," Walker whispers behind me.

"Only inside," I tell Walker. "I only see two at the door."

"How are we supposed to free everyone in there?" Brutus asks. It's a logical question, one that I'm pondering myself. But I have an idea.

"First, we need to get inside, find out who the major players are. If we can take care of them, then getting everyone else out will be a lot easier."

"And what's your plan for getting past the guards?" Neville asks me.

"I'm all for attacking, but if we make a commotion, then likely more guards will come, so we'll have to be smart about this."

"I may have an idea," Yang says as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a cloth and a small bottle of an unidentified liquid.

"What is that?" Brutus asks.

"It's a herbal potion that my grandfather prepared. It doesn't kill, but it does render a person unconscious for a while. It'll buy us some time. Or at least, incapacitate them enough so that killing them will be easier."

Yang hands the items to me, and I smile at him. "Yang, you've been holding out on us."

"I wish I had more, but the herbs to make this concoction are scarce."

Graham, who had been quiet up until this point, tapped on my shoulder. "Angel, one of the guards at the door is leaving his post."

"He's probably making his rounds," Yang says.

"Well now's our chance," I tell the men. "Only one guard at the door."

"So are you going to go kill him?" Neville asks me.

I turn around and smile at Neville. "No. I think you will."

Neville's eyes widen in a surprise. "What? But, Angel, I can't possibly…"

"Don't worry. I'll be your backup."

"What about the other one?" Walker asks.

"I think you can take care of that one, Walker."

Walker gives me the same surprised look as Neville had moments before.

"Come on, Walker. You were pretty badass last night. And don't forget you killed a dragon. That means you can kill anything now. And if the guard comes back and sees his buddy is dead, he'll sound the alarm. Then we'll have a much bigger problem."

Walker reaches for his crossbow. "Okay, I'll do it."

"Good, because that's what I trained you for. Now go follow that guard and take Brutus and Graham with you. And when you're done, I'll need you three to keep guard. Can you handle that?"

Walker nods and takes off, followed by the two other men. Once they're gone, Neville looks at me nervously. "How am I supposed to do this?"

"We're going to sneak up on him and you're going to use Yang's potion to render him unconscious." As I talk, I pour a small amount of liquid onto the cloth. "Then you're going to slit his throat with your knife. Got it?"

Neville seems relieved that he won't have to kill a conscious Invader, and he nods. "Yes, I understand."

"Good. Take this." I hand him the soaked cloth.

"What can I do to help?" Yang asks me.

"Stay close and watch our backs. Now let's go. And remember to be quiet."

The guard stands at the bottom of the building steps with his back facing us, but there's a risk he'll turn around and spot us. If that's the case and Neville panics, I'll fight him and take care of him with my axe. But I want Neville to be able to do this by himself. They'll never gain any confidence in their fighting abilities if they never have a chance to fight.

When we're closer to the guard, Neville glances at me. He's nervous, but I just nod to him and give him an encouraging smile. He can do this. I'm sure of it.

Yang and I stay back while Neville makes his move. For someone who was so nervous about taking on an Invader, Neville impresses me with his skills. The guard, unsuspecting, collapses onto the sidewalk the moment he inhales the chloroform-like herbal potion.

By this time, Yang and I move closer, and Neville glances at me again.

"Go on," I tell him. "This man is one of many who has made you and your people live in fear. End him."

Neville nods, reaches for his knife, and rams the blade into the Invader's jugular.

Though he seems a bit weary from the sight of so much blood, I see a smile on his face.

I pat Neville on the back. "Nice work. Now, let's get inside."

* * *

Inside, there's a foul, musty smell in the entryway. The floors are dirty and unkempt, and the paint is peeling from the walls.

"This used to be a really nice apartment building," Yang whispers to me as we walk down the dimly lit hallway.

The place had definitely seen better days, and I was willing to bet the Invaders' presence here was the cause of its dirty and decrepit condition.

We suddenly hear footsteps, and the three of us hide behind a wall near what appears to be the laundry room. The footsteps sound heavy, and when I peer from behind the wall to take a look, I see another Invader guard down the hallway. And he's heading straight toward us. Fortunately, he didn't spot me, so we have some time.

Yang and Neville look at me with a question in their eyes, and I nod. Yes, another guard. I expected there would be more. I motion for Neville and Yang to be quiet as I reach for my axe. This guard is all mine.

The guard's footsteps are louder now. Any minute he will pass by. I'm ready. When the guard finally moves into sight, I bury the blade of my axe into his back, taking him completely by surprise. Some guard. He falls to the floor with a loud thud. He groans, still alive, and I bury the axe into his neck. Now he's quiet.

Yang blanches at the sight, his bright green skin turning a shade lighter, and then turns away. I guess I'm used to the bloodshed. I forget that others are not. "Sorry," I apologize to him. "I know it's messy."

Neville, who looks a little green around the gills too, shakes his head. "Don't apologize. I'm glad he's dead."

"Yes, he's just one of many who have hurt our people," Yang adds.

There's a loud gasp across the hall, and we suddenly realize that one of the apartment doors is wide open. Standing in the doorway is a green-skinned elderly woman with gray hair pulled back in a bun. She straightens her glasses, which had evidently slipped down to her nose, and then stares at the three of us and the dead guard on the floor.

"It's alright, ma'am," Yang says, then rushes to her side. "We're here to help you."

"I heard a sound. I thought someone was in pain. I am glad it was him." The woman then spits on the dead Invader, surprising all of us with her spunk.

I step closer to the woman. "He won't bother you anymore. You're safe now."

The woman shakes her head. "No, not safe. Not until they're all gone." The woman looks to her right, then to her left. "You had better come inside before the others come."

She moves back into her apartment, and the three of us follow her inside.

"I'm Suki," she tells us. "And who are you?"

"I'm Angel. And this here is Yang and Neville."

"Yang? The Ancient One's grandson?"

Yang nods. "Yes, ma'am."

The old woman smiles. "You don't remember me. I used to watch you when you were very small. How is your grandfather?"

"He is well, but very worried about everyone still here. He's living in the village near the coast with a group of other people. It's relatively safe there. Please let us take you with us."

"I'll gladly go, but I can't leave my neighbors and friends behind."

"They won't be left behind," I tell her. "Our goal is to rescue everyone in this building. How well do you know your neighbors?"

"I know them all. They're all very dear to me."

"Can you make some phone calls for us then? Alert everyone to pack up a few essential belongings, and you do the same. As soon as we clear this building of the rest of the Invaders, we'll take you and your neighbors away from here."

The woman narrows her eyes at me. "That sounds too easy. Can you really do that?"

I nod. "I promise."

* * *

The second floor of the building seems just as dismal as the first. Same dirty floors. Same peeling walls. Somewhere inside one of the apartments, a baby is wailing.

I keep my eyes open for one of the guards making patrols, but instead, I see one of the apartment doors open. A green-skinned Astorian stands before us and steps out into the hallway.

"Yang," he says.

Yang stares at the man for a second, seemingly surprised. "Kwan?"

"Yang. It is good to see you."

"I didn't know you were here. I thought you and your wife were still in the Garden District."

"We were, but things were not good there, so we moved back. Unfortunately, things are not much better here either."

"Angel, Neville, this is a good friend of mine. Kwan."

I extend my hand to his. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise. I'd like to help you. Ms. Suki called and mentioned you were here. If you're going to kill the rest of the Invaders, I can help."

"We could use all the help we can get," I tell him.

"Then may I suggest you start at the penthouse?"

"That's where we were heading."

Kwan grins and pulls out a butcher knife.

* * *

Kwan, who knows this building inside and out, leads us through a maze of stairwells and hallways. He points out areas to avoid, areas where known guards are posted.

"The top floor is heavily guarded," Kwan tells us as we huddle in the stairwells. "It's where all of the Invader guards have taken up residence. And of course, Lord Ares. It will be difficult to hide."

"Is the layout of the top floor similar to the others?" I ask him.

Kwan nods. "Yes."

"So there's a stairwell at each side of the building, correct?"

"Yes."

"And where on the top floor is Lord Ares?"

"If I had to guess, it would be west side of the building. He would be in the nicest apartment, and the one that faces the river would be the nicest. The other apartment is occupied by guards. Off-duty probably."

I take a moment to think about strategy, and to me, it makes sense that we split up. "Alright, here's the plan. We'll split up. Why don't you and Yang take the east stairwell, while Neville and I take the west."

"Won't their be guards posted at each entrance?" Neville asks.

I look to Kwan. "Will there be guards?"

Kwan nods. "Yes."

"Yang, Kwan, do you think you can handle taking out a guard by yourselves?"

Kwan holds up his knife. "I've been waiting for an opportunity to slit one of their throats."

I smile. I like Kwan.

"We can handle it, Angel," Yang replies.

"Okay, good. What we need to do then is to take out the guards patrolling the stairwells and hallways. Then we'll make our way into the penthouse."

Once I feel Yang and Kwan are ready, we go our separate ways. It's quiet in the dimly lit stairwell, so Neville and I walk slowly up the stairs and try not to make any noise.

At the landing, there's a door leading out into the hallway. The door conveniently has a small rectangular window on the side. I motion for Neville to move back as I crept forward and take a peak. Sure enough, standing against the wall is a guard.

Neville looks at me with questioning eyes, and I nod.

"What now?" he whispers.

I hold up my axe. "I'll go first."

The guard appears to be at attention, but I know he must be bored. He can't possibly be expecting any kind of trouble at this moment. That will work in our favor. But what will give us away is the door. Once we open it, I'm sure it'll make noise. We'll just have to be quick.

"Come on," I tell Neville as I slowly open the door. To my surprise, it doesn't give us away at first. It's only when Neville bumps into the door handle that the guard realizes he has company.

"Who goes there?" the guard demands.

"The name's Angel," I tell the guard as I hold up my axe and take a swing at the guard. He dodges my move and holds up his sword.

Neville, to my surprise, swiftly moves behind him and holds up his knife. When the guard momentarily looks to see who is behind him, I take the opportunity to slam the axe into his neck, knocking him to the ground. I hit him again to end his misery.

Beside me, Neville kicks him. "Just wanted to make sure he wasn't getting up."

I bend down and take the guard's sword. I hand it to Neville. "Here, take this. A souvenir."

"What now?" he asks.

"Let's find the others."

We meet up with Kwan and Yang just a few moments later, who had successfully taken down the other guard. Yang looks a little pale again, but Kwan looks victorious. I hope we can recruit Kwan to come with us. He's already proven himself an excellent fighter.

"We need to get rid of the rest of the guards," I tell the men, then look to Kwan. "You say this is the apartment they stay in?" I ask, nodding to one of the doors.

Kwan nods. "The guards use this apartment in shifts, so if we're lucky, they should all be asleep.

"Then killing them now should be easy. Let's go."

The men follow me to the door and I reach for the doorknob, but of course, it's locked.

"What now?" Neville whispers.

If I still had my vampire strength, the locked door wouldn't be a problem for me. But since I'm human now, I have to resort to other means to get through locked doors. I feel around in my pocket until I come across the bobby pin I keep there.

"Where'd you get that from?" Neville asks.

"A twelve-year-old girl gave it to me. Thank you, Andromeda." I kneel down and go to work at picking the lock. It wasn't a skill I thought I'd ever need to learn, but since I became human, it's come in handy a few times. Like now, for instance.

After a few moments of messing with the lock, it clicks open. I look up to Neville, Yang, and Kwan. "We're in."

Kwan holds up his knife, eager for more bloodshed.

The apartment is dark, just as I suspected, though a little moonlight illuminates the living room. I do a quick scan to make sure there are no other guards lurking in this area, but all I see are closed bedroom doors.

"How many guards you think are here?" Neville asks.

"There are three bedrooms, so at least three," Kwan replies.

I survey the dark apartment and get a feel for where the bedrooms are. "Okay, Kwan, Yang, you take the one down the hall. Neville, take the room next to it. I'll take the one here on the right. And be quiet."

This should be a simple job, as long as the guards keep sleeping. But any little sound could possibly wake them up. Slowly, I make my way to the first bedroom. I'm hoping the bedroom door isn't locked, and I'm relieved to find that the door opens when I turn the knob.

Inside the bedroom, I hear loud snoring. Unfortunately, it's too dark in here, and I can't see him anywhere. In my life as a vampire, my night sight was keen, but as a human, I'm in the dark. My hearing's not half bad though, even as a human, and I feel around until I make my way to the edge of the bed.

My eyes finally adjust to the darkness, and from the light coming into the window, I see the faint outline of the guard. He's sprawled out on his back and still snoring. My lucky day. I raise my axe and prepare to put an end to his heavy breathing. The human side of me almost feels guilt for killing someone so unsuspecting like this. But he's not human, and he is one of the many who have tortured the Astorinan people.

I slam my axe down. The snoring stops. And the warrior in me doesn't feel any guilt at all.

* * *

Kwan, Yang, and Neville were successful in taking out the other sleeping guards. Now that we're all on a high, we make our way into the penthouse, home of the feared Lord Ares.

Inside, the penthouse is dark and quiet, with a few dim lamps along the side of the wall that offer a little light.

"He's probably sleeping," Kwan whispers. "The bedroom would be towards the back."

We quietly search the penthouse, making sure it's clear of any guards. No sign of them. Good news for us.

"Neville, you stay at the door."

"Why?" he asks me.

"Just in case we need backup, or if we have company. You can do this, Neville," I remind him when I see his nervous expression. I turn back to Yang and Kwan. "Alright, let's go find this Lord Ares and show him who's boss."

Behind the closed bedroom door, we hear voices. One is a deep, male voice. The other is clearly female. And it sounds as if the two behind the door are having a good time. I nod to the others, then reach for the doorknob. It's locked of course, but the door lock is cheap and easily breakable. I back up, kick the door open, and charge in with my axe held high.

I'm surprised to see not two, but three people in the bed. Two females, the first female Invaders I've seen since. In the middle of the bed is a big, burly Invader who must be none other than Lord Ares. He stares at me with a snarl on his face, obviously upset that we've ruined his threesome.

"Sorry to…interrupt," I say with a smug grin, though I'm not sorry at all.

"Guards!" Lord Ares yells.

"Guards aren't coming." I motion to Yang and Kwan. "Get the women!"

Yang and Kwan immediately go on opposite sides of the bed and grab the women.

Lord Ares, now fuming, jumps up from his bed and grabs a knife from his nightstand.

I laugh. "Nice weapon, but mine is bigger." I swing my axe at him, but he's good at dodging me. Suddenly, he jumps on the bed. At the same moment, I feel someone give my shin a good kick. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the female Invader Yang is holding attempting to kick me again.

"Keep her back, Yang!"

This, however, causes me a moment of distraction, and Lord Ares tackles me to the ground. I feel the slice of his knife in my side. When I try to move my arm, I realize Lord Ares is holding me down. The son of a bitch is a lot stronger than he looks.

Suddenly, Yang's foot makes contact with the Invader's head, and he collapses unconscious on top of me. I wiggle out from underneath him, grab my axe, and finish the job I came to do.

When I finally have a moment to catch my bearings, I look around the room and see the two females are one the floor.

"Are they dead?"

"No, I just knocked her out," Yang says, holding up his herbal concoction.

"Speak for yourself," Kwan says, holding up his bloody butcher knife.

* * *

Afterwards, we meet up with Walker, Graham, and Brutus outside.

"We took the other guard out," Brutus says.

"Good. The building here is clear. We just need to get these people away before any of the other guards in the area get wind that this place is unguarded."

While Brutus and Walker keep watch, the others and I split up to evacuate the apartment dwellers. Once everyone is on the first floor, I send small groups out and have the others lead the way. Groups that are too big will cause suspicion. Fortunately, the rest of the street seems quiet, so we have some time.

I'm surprised to see every one of them ready to go at a mere moment's notice, but Kwan tells me everyone here has packed an emergency bag on the off chance they would be able to escape. Tonight, they'll get that opportunity.

* * *

 _A few weeks later…_

The past few weeks have been a blur. It seems as if all we've been doing is fighting. Sometimes, I wonder if our efforts have even put a dent in the Invader population. But then, I see the number of people we have rescued, and I know that we have done some good here.

"Angel, you going to get something to eat?"

I turn around, seeing Walker standing in front of me with a plate of fish in his hand. The wind from the ocean breeze picks up his blue hair, and he squints at me in the sunlight.

"Yeah, just wanted to make sure everyone else got something to eat first."

"No need to worry about that. There's plenty to eat."

I follow Walker back to the picnic table where Yang and his grandfather, as well as a few other villagers, are serving food. The villagers had decided to have a celebration after our small victory against the Invaders. In the last few weeks, we've managed to kill several other head invaders and many more of their guards are now dead. And though there is still a lot of work to be done, things are quiet in the Sea District for now.

When the Ancient One sees me, a smile spreads across his face. "Ah, the great Warrior. Here he is. Our salvation!"

Applause breaks out among the small group nearby.

I try to be modest, but the Ancient One won't allow me to be.

"Angel, I am aware that the war is not over, but peace has been restored in our district, and you and your men are responsible for that. Look over there."

I look to where the Ancient One is pointing. In the distance, children are laughing and playing on the beach. Every few seconds, one of their squeals of excitement pierces the air.

"You see those children? That is the first time I have heard children laughing in months. You did that, Angel. You helped bring joy back into their lives."

I can't help but smile at that. Some of those very children had been forced to sit in booths all day and sell goods. That isn't what children are supposed to do. They should be able to play and laugh. Finally, they can be what they are…children.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" I ask the Ancient One and Yang as we prepare to leave. "There's plenty of room in the underground bunkers for both of you and the other villagers."

The Ancient One shakes his head. "No, but thank you. We will stay here for the time being. It is peaceful for now. And this is home to us, so we shall stay for as long as we can."

I nod. "Understand. You know where to find us if you need us. And if you change your mind, you're always welcome."

The Ancient One nods. "We will keep that in mind."

I look around at the other men, seeing everyone has packed up their gear and is ready to go. "Well, I guess this is goodbye then."

I extend my hand and the Ancient One shakes it. "Stay safe in your journey back to the district."

"And thank you for helping our people," Yang adds.

I shake Yang's hand as well. "You're welcome. I just hope things stay quiet. I know our work is far from over yet."

A smile spreads across the Ancient One's face. "I have every confidence in you, Warrior, that you will help us win this war."

I smile back at him, and I pray that he's right.

* * *

The sun has already set as we make our way back home. We've been traveling for hours now, and I know the men are weary after our extended stay in the Sea District. I'm disappointed we couldn't get the villagers to come with us, but I feel okay about leaving them in the Ancient One's hands.

On the flip side, I feel great about what we have accomplished. Seven lead Invaders are dead, as well as dozens of guards. Still not enough to win the war, but I think it's safe to say we've won the battle.

"Someone's up ahead," Brutus says as we near a wooded area near the creek.

In the distance, I spot a campfire where Brutus points and grab my binoculars out of my pocket to see who it is. I'm relieved to see that it's just Roman and his group. I need some serious down time after all of the fighting we've been doing these past few weeks. Or has it been months? I can't even remember.

"It's okay. It's just Roman and his group."

Roman, who evidently spotted us too, meets us halfway. "Angel! You all are a sight for sore eyes!"

"You as well," I say to him. "We were on our way back."

"We were too. We've set up camp near the creek for the night."

A breather sounds good to us all, so we unload and set up camp too.

"Conan's making fish. There's plenty for us all," Roman says. "Would you all like some?"

I exchange glances with Walker and Brutus.

"Have you already eaten?" Roman asks when it takes us too long to respond.

"If you don't mind, Roman," Walker says as he gets out his crossbow, "I think I'm going to find us a boris to eat. I think we're all a little tired of eating fish. That's all they have in the Sea District."

Roman laughs.

* * *

Walker does in fact, find a boris in the woods. We feast on a meal of boris and a few wild plants Brutus and myself gathered.

"So, how's it going with the newcomers?" Roman asks as he sits down next to me. He finishes the last bite on his plate and sets it aside.

"Neville and Graham are holding up well. They were both a little hesitant at first, but I think they'll be seasoned pros before long. How were things in the Garden District?"

"Bad. Worse, actually. Now that it's warmer weather, the crops are in full swing."

"It looks like you made some progress though." I nod toward the new faces sitting by the campfire.

"We rescued them from an Invader attack and brought them back with us. They want to help us fight."

"Good. We'll need all the help we can get."

* * *

During the night, I awake to a familiar sound.

Moments later, Grayer's frantic voice wakes everyone up.

"Dragon attack! Dragon attack!"

Several of the men begin to gather up their belongings, though Walker and I have a better plan in mind. He's already armed with his crossbow and I grab the one the Ancient One gave to me.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Grayer complains when he sees us just standing there. "Get your ass moving! Are you crazy?"

"Don't worry. Walker and I have got this. Get the others to safety. We'll catch up."

Grayer shakes his head, then turns and gathers the others away from the camp.

Quickly, Walker and I assembly our flame arrows with the help of the campfire.

"Ready for this?" I ask Walker.

He nods, grinning ear to ear. It's been weeks, but I'm glad to see he's still on his dragon-killing high.

Not far from where we stand, the tall pine trees begin to shake. We hear the thundering echo of dragon footsteps too, but for some reason, something feels a little off.

"I think there's two of them," Walker says.

His smile fades, and I fear his confidence is starting to wane. So I give him a smile and wink at him.

"Good thing there's two of us then."


	26. Back to School

**A/N:** Because a few people have asked me about the Initiative storyline and when that's going to happen, let me clear up a little confusion. It's actually already happened, I just didn't write about it.

The whole thing with the Initiative happened sometime between Angel's disappearance and Chapter 1, which was four months later. I didn't feel like it was necessary for the story to include any of those events, nor did I really want to since that wasn't exactly my favorite storyline. This story jumps around a lot in time anyway, so just assume it already happened. :)

Now that the confusion is cleared up, on to the story…

 **CHAPTER 26 - BACK TO SCHOOL**

-August, 2001-

"Oh campus bookstore, how I've missed you!" Willow says as we walk into the store.

Willow races over to the first aisle. "With your pens and pencils all lined up neatly, your composition notebooks in neat little stacks!" She inhales deeply. "And oh, the smell of all those new books!"

Willow casts a sheepish, sideways glance at me. "You must think I'm crazy."

I smile at her. "No, I don't think that, Will. I love how you geek out over school."

Willow laughs in a giddy, childlike way, like a kid in candy store. "I really do!"

"Well since you know this place in and out, want to help me find my books?"

"Sure, of course! Let me see your class list."

I hand her the list, and Willow frowns. "Oh no…"

"What? What's wrong?"

"These are the same classes I took last semester. I knew I should have saved my books!"

"That's okay, Will. I have Almond and Lambert. I think they're both using different textbooks this year anyway."

Willow helps me find my two measly textbooks, while she has an armful of books.

"Is the bookstore going to have any books after you leave?" I ask jokingly. "Do you any help carrying those, Will?"

"Um…yeah, that'd be great!"

She places the stack of books in my hand, the weight of the books nothing to me.

Willow examines her list again. "Okay, let's see, I now need the book for my advanced chemistry class."

"Advanced chemistry…fun." I'm sure my sarcasm is showing.

"I'm so excited I finally get to take classes for my major!"

Willow finds the rest of her books, and we leave the bookstore. In the parking lot, a horn toots, and Oz's van is parked by the curb.

"Oh, that's Oz. I gotta run."

I carefully hand Willow her books back.

"Thanks. Oz is going to help me move my stuff this afternoon."

"Hey, how's your mom taking the news that you're moving into your boyfriend's apartment this semester?"

Willow laughs as she walks toward the van. "Not very well. See ya, Buffy."

"Bye."

I turn around to walk to my own car, which is parked on the _other_ side of campus. Of course. But when I start to move, I bump into someone.

One of my books slips out of my hand, landing right on the guy's foot. I realize seconds later that it's Riley.

"Oh god, Riley, I'm so sorry!"

Riley just laughs, reaching down to pick up the fallen book. "What is it with you and the dropping books on people?"

"Sorry."

"I'm just teasing. Wow, it's good to see you, Buffy."

"Yeah, you too. I feel like I haven't seen you in ages. Where've you been lately?"

"I've been in Iowa for most of the summer, spending time with family, things like that."

"Oh."

"You have books. So does this mean you're coming back to school?"

"Yeah, I am. I promised my mom I would. Just part-time for now though. I signed up for a couple of night classes. It's just easier that way. Then I can stay home with Liam during the day."

"How is your little boy?"

"Crawling all over and into everything. I have to watch him like a hawk. He tried to eat my deodorant yesterday."

Riley laughs. "It sounds like you have your hands full."

"He certainly keeps me on my toes, that's for sure."

The look on Riley's face turns serious. "So how are you holding up?"

"Some days are okay. Liam occupies most of my time. He's a great distraction. So what are you doing hanging around the campus bookstore? Are you going to be a T.A. again?"

"Yeah, I discovered I actually really enjoy it. Just for a little extra spending money though, and only part time."

"Psychology?"

"Yeah. Professor Callahan is a lot different Walsh."

"Thank god for that."

"Yeah. But he's pretty cool."

"Well that's good."

"Oh hey, the coffee shop is giving away free coffee today 2-4. I think they're trying to get the freshmen hooked on caffeine already. Do you want to go grab a cup?"

"Oh, no thanks. As tempting as free coffee sounds, I think I really just want to go home and spend the rest of the day with my little boy."

"Sure, I understand."

"Plus I managed to convince Dawn to babysit, which she only agreed to do if she didn't have to change any dirty diapers." I glance down at my watch. "I've got about fifteen minutes before all hell breaks loose."

Riley laughs. "Understand. You better go rescue your sister."

"Yeah, or she'll never babysit for me again. I'll see you around, Riley."

"See you later. Wait, Buffy."

I turn around. "Yeah?"

"Uh, you know what, never mind."

"No, what were you going to ask me?"

"I uh…I was just going to say if you need any help studying or whatever, I'm a great tutor. But you probably don't need any help."

I shrug. "I don't know. I might. Maybe when I get into my psychology coursework, I'll take you up on that offer. Right now I'm just catching up from last semester."

"So you _do_ like psychology."

I gave him a smile. "Yeah, I think I do. I think I'll even major in it."

* * *

Back at home, I can hear Liam wailing before I even open the door. Dawn spots me the moment I walk in, a look of relief on her face.

"Oh thank god you're back!"

I barely have time to toss my keys and books onto the table before Dawn shoves Liam into my arms.

"I am never, _ever_ , babysitting again! This is the _last time_!"

I bounce Liam on my hip and make little shushing noises at him. "What's wrong with him?"

Dawn laughs hysterically. "The hell if I know! He won't eat, he won't sleep, and I'm not going anywhere _near_ that diaper of his! All I know is that he's _your_ problem now!" Dawn brushes past us and heads up the stairs, leaving me still trying to comfort a cranky baby.

* * *

"He's teething," Mom says later as she walks Mr. Cranky Pants around the living room.

"How do you know?"

"Oh, I know. You were like this at around the same age. Dawn too. Plus his gums are swollen. Here, take him. I have something that'll help."

Mom places Liam back into my arms and goes into the kitchen. I follow her, watching as she opens the refrigerator.

"So what do you got?" I ask her. "Some kind of home remedy?"

"Even better." Mom pulls out a teething ring. "I put this in here the other day. I thought we'd be needing this soon."

"Oh my god, you're a lifesaver." I take the teething ring and give it to Liam, who takes it and happily begins to gnaw on the chilled toy.

"Yep, definitely teething."

"Wow, how did you know?"

Mom shrugs. "Just experience from being a mom." Mom leans forward to kiss Liam's cheek, then kisses me on the cheek too. "Try a warm bath tonight as well. That'll calm him down too."

* * *

I forgot how much college homework sucks.

The readings are always twice as much, and the tests are always twice as hard. And I'm only taking two classes!

My eyes start to cross as I toss the book aside, tired of reading about biology, which I don't understand why I have to take anyway. Deciding I need a distraction, I pick up the phone to call Angel, only realizing halfway with the phone to my ear that I can't call him anymore. The fact that I've just done this must prove how tired and stressed out I am.

I put the phone back on the end table and watch Liam instead. He's sitting on the blanket in front of me, alternating between a chew toy and his pacifier. If he could put both in his mouth, he probably would.

"Angel, I can't believe you're missing this."

Spotting our collection of VHS tapes on the shelf behind Liam, I suddenly get an idea. I get up and grab the one I'm looking for, then pop it into the player. Moments later, Angel's on the screen.

* * *

 _Angel and I stepped out of the elevator, seeing Doyle in front of a video camera and Cordelia holding up cue cards for him._

 _"'If you need help, then look no further. Angel Investigations is the best! Our rats are low—"_

" _Our 'rates'!" Cordelia snapped._

" _It says 'rats'! 'Our rates are low, but our standards are high. When the chips are down, and you're at the end of your rope, you need someone that you can count on. And that's what you'll find here…someone that will go all the way, no matter what. So don't lose hope. Come on over to our office and you'll see that there's still heroes in this world.' Is that it? Am I done?"_

 _Cordelia turned off the camera. "I don't know. I'm not getting every man, I'm getting…weasel. We don't want weasel."  
_

 _"I don't know. I think people will be pouring in as soon as they hear about our low rats," Doyle said._

 _Cordelia put down the cue cards and glanced in our direction, noticing our presence. "Oh, look who finally came up for air."_

" _What are you guys doing?" Angel asked._

" _Well someone's got to drum up some business around here," Cordelia said, glaring at Angel. "And since you wouldn't do my 'dark avenger' idea, I'm having to go with plan B. Wait…you *are* still planning on running AI, right? Please don't tell me I wasted all morning on this! Do you know how long it took to make these cue cards?"_

" _I don't have any intention of shutting down AI just yet. I just don't know how things are going to change around here. Besides, the lease on this office is still good until the end of September." He then turned to look at me and reached for my hand. "What would you think about that? If I stayed here in L.A. for while? Would you be okay with that? I don't want to make this decision by myself."_

" _Come on, Cordy. Let's leave the lovebirds to themselves. I'll treat you to lunch and we'll finish this video later."_

" _So?" Angel asked once we had the place to ourselves. "What do you think I should do?"_

" _I think you should stay. You should continue Angel Investigations."_

" _Really?"_

" _Yeah. I mean, just because you're human now doesn't mean you have to stop helping people. You could do your thing here until your lease runs out, and I could finish up this semester and next, and we'll have the whole summer to be together."_

" _I love the sound of that."_

" _And besides, L.A. and Sunnydale aren't that far apart. We could see each other every weekend. One weekend I could come visit you, and maybe the next, you could come see me. And we'll talk on the phone every day." I glanced at the video camera, still set up on the tripod, and had an idea. "And…we could even make videos of ourselves."_

 _Angel raised an eyebrow. "You want to make…videos of ourselves?"_

 _I smacked Angel on his arm. "No, not *those* kinds of videos! Get your mind out of the gutter!"_

 _Angel laughed as I walked over to the camera, figuring out where the record button was. "What I meant was that we could make videos for each other. You know, so during the week, we could still see each other. In fact, I think we should make one now."_

" _I don't know," Angel hesitated. "I'm not really one for getting in front of the camera."_

" _Oh come on," I said as I walked around and sat in his lap in front of the camera, the red button showing that it was, indeed, recording. "I want to record this."_

 _I cleared my throat, wrapped my arms around Angel, and smiled at the camera. "Today is Saturday, November 27_ _th_ _, 1999, and this is the happiest day of my entire life because I finally get to be with the man I love. And nothing, or no one, will ever tear us apart or stand between us ever again."_

 _I turned and smiled at Angel, seeing him smiling back at me, and we kissed. The kiss went on for a moment or so, until it got a little too heavy and Angel blocked the camera with his hand. He reached over and turned the camera off as I laughed in the background._

* * *

As I turn off the television, Liam pulls himself up to my knees. He happily sucks on his pacifier and stares up at me. He's been doing this a lot lately, often times pulling himself up to the couch or a chair and standing on his wobbly legs for a few seconds until he falls down. Mom says he'll probably be an early walker. I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

"Well hey there, standing man." I reach forward and scoop Liam up into my arms. "Are you going walk for me soon?"

Liam makes some little noise muffled by the sound of his pacifier in response.

"Oh goodness, you're getting to be such a big boy." I pull Liam close to me, kissing his cheek, then letting his head rest on my shoulder as I rub his back. "Just don't grow up too fast, okay? Your daddy's missing it all."

* * *

A/N: I feel like this chapter is all over the place, but that's because I had a bunch of random scenes I needed to fit together to create a whole chapter. Some chapters are like this. I tend to write stories out of order, and sometimes I get scenes that I don't want to lose and have to find a place to fit them. Hope you enjoyed this random chapter anyway. :)


	27. Retaliation - pt 1

**A/N:** Hey everyone, I did not mean for a month to pass by without updating, but with the holidays, family visiting, and my chronic migraines flaring up, I just needed a break! I know you all understand. I don't know when the next chapter will be posted because I'm still working on it, but I will try to get my muse fired up to finish it! Thanks for your patience! And happy new year! :)

 **CHAPTER 27 – RETALIATION - pt. 1  
**

"The problem is that the Garden District is so vast," Roman explains as we discuss strategy for another mission. "It's larger than any of the other districts due to acres of farmland, and therefore, the people are spread out."

"So it's been harder to find them."

Roman nods. "Exactly. I think on our next journey, we'll need to focus on the more populated areas of the district."

"Which are probably more guarded," I say.

"Perhaps. I think we should head out soon. With the fall harvest, there should be a lot of activity."

"I'd advise against that, cousin."

Roman and I look up to see Conan standing in the doorway.

"I strongly feel you should postpone your expedition."

"Why do you say that, Conan?" Roman asks.

Conan walks into the room and joins us at the table. "I believe the weather is about to take a turn for the worse. A winter storm is on the way."

"But it's early in the season for a snowfall," Roman says.

"Early, yes, but not impossible. You know it's happened a few times before. Remember that bad winter about ten years ago?"

"How sure are you about this?" I ask Conan.

"Well, no weather forecast is 100% accurate, but I know a lot about Astoria's weather patterns, and my gut tells me we have a winter storm coming our way. Please, consider postponing your expedition, at least for a few days until we know for sure."

"A winter storm would seriously hamper our efforts," I say, looking at Roman.

"I suppose it couldn't hurt to wait a few days to see what the weather does," Roman agrees.

"In the meantime, cousin, may I suggest we begin stockpiling enough to food and necessities for everyone?"

Roman nods. "You are right, Conan. We should start now."

"Let's get a group together for a hunt," I tell the men.

* * *

"You're going to postpone the mission all because your cousin has a ' _feeling_ '?" Grayer complains to Roman as we tromp through the woods on a hunting excursion.

Roman stops walking and turns around to look Grayer in the eyes. "No one questioned the Ancient One when he predicted Angel's arrival."

"That's different. The Ancient One is a seer. Your cousin is not."

"You know, they have these people in my world that study and predict the weather all of the time," I say to break the tension. "We call them meteorologists."

"And let me guess…they're right _every time_ ," Grayer says with a sarcastic tone.

"No, they're not always right. In fact, sometimes, they're surprised. But that's not the point. The point is that Conan has picked up signs that a winter storm is coming. It's best we be prepared lest we all starve. Agree?"

Grayer rolls his eyes. "Fine," he mutters. "I just hope we're not out here wasting our time."

"We're not wasting our time," I tell him. "We're feeding hungry people. Our efforts out here are never wasted."

"Guys, quiet," Walker says, holding up his hand. "I think I just spotted a herd of deer up ahead."

Being quiet is not exactly easy considering the ground is covered with dry leaves, but I'm glad to have something else to focus on other than Grayer's perpetual bad mood. One deer will feed many. More than one deer will feed a lot more. The four of us move in for a closer look as quietly as possible, and sure enough, we see a small group of deer.

I reach for the crossbow I'm carrying and load it with an arrow. Walker is already aiming his to shoot. Next to me, I spot Grayer concentrating on the herd with a tight grip on his knife, poised to throw it at the herd any moment.

"We should aim for them at the same time or they'll all spook and run off," Walker whispers.

"I know the drill kid," Grayer says. "We've done this quite a few times before."

Walker rolls his eyes in response.

Sensing the men need a little direction, I jump in. "Look, let's make this easy. Walker, you take the one on the left. I'll take the one in the center. Grayer, you think your knife can hit the one on the right?"

"As long as he doesn't move, yeah, it'll be a piece of cake." Grayer gives me a look as if I have insulted him in some way, then looks to Roman. "What's the matter, Roman? Are you feeling left out because you didn't bring a throwing weapon?"

Roman just smiles. "We'll see how glorious you feel when we encounter a wolf and all you've got is your puny knife."

"Guys, how about a little less bickering before these deer run off?"

Roman nods. "Apologies, Angel. Please, let's get this deer hunt over with so we can hurry back home."

The deer, fortunately, are still grazing in the meadow. I nod at Walker, who nods back, and on the count of three we make our move.

The three deer fall to the ground. The villagers will eat good tonight, and for many more nights too.

* * *

 _The ground was covered with a light dusting of snow, but the roads were clear at least. I drove slowly around the winding road, not wanting an accident to ruin the weekend I had planned for Buffy and myself._

 _She sat next to me and fiddled with the heat knobs again. She was always cold. I had some ideas in mind to warm her up though._

" _Are we almost there?" Buffy asked, like an impatient child on a road trip._

" _I think so. It should be just a few more miles up ahead."_

" _So how do you know about this cabin?"_

" _Doyle knows a guy. I guess it belongs to him and he owed Doyle a favor. I think he uses it for hunting and fishing. It's pretty isolated."_

" _So in other words…we can be as loud as we want?"_

 _I glanced at Buffy and smiled at her. "Yeah, we can be loud. Well, you're the one that makes all the noise. Me not so much."_

 _Buffy moved her hand to touch behind my neck, gently massaging it. "That sounds like a challenge to me. I'm going to make you howl."_

 _I laughed._

 _She leaned forward and kissed the side of my neck._

" _We're never going to make it to the cabin if you keep doing that."_

 _Buffy laughed softly. Her breath tickled my ear. "What if I don't want to wait?"_

" _You're just going to have to tough it out," I teased her, though the waiting was difficult for me as well._

 _Up ahead, I saw some movement near the bushes alongside the road. I eased down on the brake and brought the car to a stop._

" _Why are we stopping? Did you change your mind?" Buffy leaned forward to kiss my neck again._

" _No. Look up."_

 _A small deer, probably a fawn, emerged from the bushes. The animal gingerly stepped on the pavement with its hooved toes. Behind the fawn, a doe appeared. She followed the younger deer and skipped ahead, then stopped in the middle of the road. She looked at my vehicle just a few feet away, and it didn't faze her at all._

" _Maybe you should honk the horn to get them moving," Buffy suggested._

 _I tried that, but the deer continued to stare at my car, unmoving. I looked to Buffy. "We may be here a while."_

"Good thing you didn't hit them. That would not have been pretty."

"Yeah, no kidding. Can you imagine the damage they would have done to my car?"

Buffy smiled at me. "I was referring to there being deer guts everywhere, but yeah, your car would be sad sight too."

I shrugged. "Well at least we'd get a meal out of it."

Buffy hit me lightly on the arm. "You're horrible," she teased.

"What? You've never had venison before?"

 _Buffy cocked an eyebrow at me. "No. Have you?"_

" _Back in my Ireland days, but not very often. If you were poor, meat was scarce. But it wasn't bad if I remember."_

 _Buffy grimaced. "If you say so."_

" _Maybe we should go out for it sometime. This time, you'll be the one trying something new."_

" _Only if I was starving and stranded in the woods and had nothing else to eat would I eat a deer."_

 _Behind us, a car tooted on its horn, and I realized the deer finally crossed the road._

" _You know, I've had deer blood before too," I said with a laugh, if only to get a rise out of Buffy._

* * *

It's cloudy the next afternoon as Walker and I are on watch. From the west, I can see dark clouds starting to roll in, and every now and then, a gust of wind makes the tree branches shake. Beside me, I see Walker wrap his thin coat over him a little tighter.

"You think Conan's right?" Walker asks. "About the weather?"

"It's very possible, yes."

"Well maybe it'll be a blessing in disguise."

I look at Walker, unsure of what he means. "Why do you say that?"

"Because if a blizzard is coming, it'll at least keep the Invaders at bay."

"Maybe."

Now Walker looks at me, confused. "You don't think so?"

"I think we should never let our guard down when it comes to the Invaders."

"You think they're planning an attack on us?"

Walker looks nervous, and I almost hate to break it to him. "Of course they're planning an attack. You don't think they'll retaliate against us after the damage we did to them in the Sea District? No, they're coming after us for sure. Which is why we need to be extra vigilant. But you're right, maybe the winter storm is a blessing."

"How come?"

"It keeps us here to defend the home base."

Walker nods, then resumes his scanning of the horizon with his binoculars. I've got my sights on the clouds. As I look at the endless gray sky, I feel something cold and wet hit my cheek. From the corner of my eye, I spot a white flake floating in the air. Then another. And another.

Walker puts his binoculars down and looks at the snow falling. "Well, I guess Conan was right."

"Yep, Conan was right."

"Grayer's going to eat crow," Walker says with a laugh.

* * *

 _Buffy and I watched the snow falling outside from the comfort of the couch. We were huddled underneath a blanket with the fire and hot chocolate keeping us warm._

" _Does it snow in Ireland, or is it always cloudy and rainy?" Buffy asked me._

" _Yeah, it snows there, but maybe not as much as the rest of Europe. Ireland's weather is pretty mild most of the year."_

" _Maybe one day you could take me there," Buffy said. Underneath the blanket, she snuggled up against me a little closer._

" _I'd love to take you to Ireland. It's beautiful there."_

" _It's beautiful here too." Buffy looked up and smiled at me. "Thank you for taking me here."_

" _Happy Valentine's Day," I said, though technically, it was a few days away._

" _Happy Valentine's Day," she said back, then moved forward to kiss me. I tasted chocolate on her lips._

* * *

The snow, light at first, picks up by later that afternoon. By evening, it's coming down hard. The wind has picked up too, howling and blowing snow every which way. It continues for days, and we have to work around the clock just to keep a path cleared so we're not snowed-in.

While the adults huddle together, the children are restless. Myles begs his father relentlessly to let him go outside to play in the snow. We do let the children out occasionally. They need sunlight and fresh air, and nobody enjoys being cooped-up in the tunnels day in and day out. But the fear that the Invaders will strike makes Roman wary to let his children out.

"Maybe when it stops snowing, son," Roman tells him.

Myles turns to me. "Is it still snowing, Angel?"

He knows I just came from outside. I stare at Myles' pleading blue eyes, and don't know what to say. Roman gives me a warning look, but it's nearly impossible to say no to a face like that. Behind him, little Serena is anxiously awaiting my answer too. "It's uh…off and on. Maybe you better wait until you father says it's okay to go."

The children now turn their pleading eyes to their father.

"Please, father?" Myles asks.

Roman sighs, then finally relents. "Alright, but only for ten minutes. Get your coats."

Myles and Serena cheer, then race down the hallway to their bunker.

Roman looks up at me. "This has been hard on the children."

I nod. "What was an adventure for them at first has now become being cooped up all the time."

"Exactly. It's hard to not allow them to have a little fun."

The children are back, bundled up in record time with coats, hats, and gloves.

I feel a tug on my pants, and look down to see Serena staring at me with her big blue eyes. "Are you coming too, Angel?"

I give the girl a smile. "Sure, I'll come. Sounds like fun."

* * *

We take the children to a sheltered area with a lot of mountainous rock for cover.

"I'm going to build a snowman!" Myles says and grabs a handful of snow.

"I'm making footprints," Serena says as she runs over fresh patches of snow. She takes a tumble a few moments later, but laughs as she wallows in the slush.

I can't help but smile as I watch the children having fun.

* * *

 _Outside our isolated cabin, the snow had covered the ground in a thick blanket._

" _Oh it's so beautiful," Buffy said as she stepped outside. Her boots made impressions in the snow as she took a few steps._

" _You know what this makes me think of?" I asked her._

 _Buffy turned to me and smiled. "I know. It makes me think about that day too." Buffy moved closer and placed her gloved hands onto my shoulders. "I'm so glad it snowed that day. When I think about how close I came to losing you. If you had gone, we would have missed our chance to be together."_

" _I'm glad we didn't."_

" _I guess some higher power up there is fighting for us to be together."_

 _I wrapped my arms around her and pressed her closer to me, then kissed her. When we finally came up for air, I saw a glint of excitement in Buffy's eyes._

" _Come on!" she said as she grabbed my hand and led me to a fresh patch of snow. "Let's build a snowman!"_

" _I don't really know how."_

 _Buffy looked at me, surprised. "What? You mean in all of your days in Ireland, you never built a snowman?"_

" _Back then, snow was more of an inconvenience. Plus, we didn't always get enough. I guess you'll have to show me how."_

 _Buffy frowned. "I don't know how either. I grew up in southern California, remember?" Her smile then returned, and she reached down and grabbed a handful of snow. "I guess we could give it the old college try though. How hard could it be?"_

 _Our snowman, if you could call it a snowman, turned out to be a lump of snow with two sticks for arms and rocks for the facial features. We never could get the snow perfectly rounded._

" _Well, it sort of resembles a snowman," I said._

" _No, it resembles a sack of potatoes."_

 _Buffy caught my gaze and laughed._

" _Although, despite my lack of experience with snow, I have discovered that there's something I'm very good at."_

" _What's that?" I asked her._

" _Making snowballs!" Buffy shouted before hurling one at me. It hit me on the shoulder, and was quickly followed by another one that hit me in the face._

 _I wiped the cold snow off my cheek and pretended to be angry. "You're going to pay for that, you know."_

 _Buffy ran off with me chasing after her. I grabbed fistful of snow and threw it at her back. She ducked behind a bush and popped up seconds later. She threw more snowballs in my general direction before taking off again._

 _I reached for another handful of snow and circled around the other way, meeting her head-on. My snowball landed on the side of her face, and Buffy took off running again._

 _We continued that way for a while, playing like kids on a holiday from school. Finally, I managed to catch up with her and scooped her up from behind. Buffy alternated between laughing and screaming. Then somehow, I lost my footing, and we both tumbled to the snow-covered ground. I tickled her and made her laugh some more. We moved around the snow for a while as she tried to get me back. Eventually, we both needed to catch our breath, and I smiled at her as she lay beneath me._

 _Buffy reached up to touch my face. Her gloves were wet with snow, and she smiled at me. "I like this side of you."_

" _What side of me?"_

" _The side of you that's carefree and playful. The side that's not so serious all the time. I didn't get to see that side of you very often when you were a vampire."_

" _I thought you said my serious side was sexy."_

" _Oh, it is. But I like this playful side of you too."_

 _I leaned down and kissed her, and then we begin to have what Buffy liked to call a serious make-out session right there in the snow._

" _Angel?" she said after a while, interrupting our moment._

" _Yeah?"_

" _I'm cold again."_

" _Oh. Then maybe I better take you inside and warm you up."_

 _Buffy smiled. "Yes, I think you'd better."_

 _I stood up and helped Buffy to her feet. Then when she wasn't expecting it, I scooped her up into my arms, which made her laugh._

 _I carried her back inside the cabin._

* * *

By the time winter officially arrived, it had already had Astoria in its grip for weeks. The temperature barely made it above freezing most days. And even when the snow did have a chance to melt, it wouldn't last for long before another blast would cover the ground again. And not just snow, but freezing rain too. According to Conan, it was one of the worst winters Astoria had ever experienced.

The weather kept us from fighting, while the risk of hypothermia forced us to take shorter guard shifts. Food was beginning to become scarce. And since we were all keeping such closer quarters, a cold virus began to make its rounds.

"Here, breathe some steam." Althea places a steaming bowl of water on the table in front of me in an attempt to alleviate my nasal congestion.

"Thanks, Althea." She nods, then moves on to her next patient. I lean over the bowl and cover my head with a towel to help keep the steam in.

"Althea? I need your help."

I recognize Alicia's voice, who sounds panicked. I remove the towel from my head and look up.

"What's the matter, Alicia?" Althea asks in a calm voice.

"It's Walker and the girls. Walker's been sick to his stomach ever since last night and the girls have been vomiting since early this morning."

I exchange a look with Althea and can almost read her mind. It's just what we need…a stomach virus making the rounds too.

* * *

I wake up hours before dawn. My congestion is better, but something else is wrong. The contents of my stomach swim around until I feel it coming up. Luckily, I make it to the trashcan in time. When I finally feel that I'm not going to lose it again, I carefully stand up and make my way down the hallway for some of Althea's ginger tea. Looks like the bug has me now.

Later, Roman gives me a concerned look as I meet him for our morning guard shift. "You okay?"

I ease myself into a sitting position and wince, careful not to jostle the meager contents of my stomach this morning. "I've been up since two in the morning with the trash bucket by my bed."

"You too, huh?"

I nod. "It's easing off some. It could be the virus, but I can't be certain it wasn't something I had at dinner. What about you?"

"Same. Nauseas all night, but it's easing off. Can't say that about everybody though. Althea says it's getting worse."

"Guess these things just have to run their course, huh?"

Roman nods, then grabs his binoculars to scan the horizon.

I don't mention it to Roman, but I really hope today is not the day the Invaders decide to retaliate. I'm feeling too weak to fight.

It's going to be a long day.

* * *

Over the next few days, the stomach virus continues to spreads. I'm still feeling a little sick myself, but others are definitely in worse shape.

Althea, who feels bad herself, looks worn out from taking care of everybody else.

"Can I help you with something?" I offer.

Althea smiles at me. "Thank you, but I've done all I can do. Sometimes these viruses have to simply run their course. How are you feeling?"

"Not as bad as these guys." I glance at the man on the cot who suddenly rolls over to vomit in a bucket. "Althea, why don't you sit down? You look exhausted."

"I am." Althea takes my suggestion and sits down at a nearby table. "I just don't understand."

"Don't understand what?"

"I've been so diligent about washing my hands and keeping these areas clean. I'm used to being around sick people. I know all of the precautions. So how did I manage to get this bug too?"

"It's a strong virus and we're living in close quarters. Everyone it seems has been feeling ill."

Althea nods. "That's what really concerns me. All at once, it seems everyone has come down with this strange bug. Some not as bad as others, but I'm very worried about the ones that are in worse shape."

"You are?"

"Yes. They should have gotten better by now. They're losing fluids at an alarming rate, and it seems as if the more water I give them, the worse—"

Althea trails off and becomes very quiet, as if lost in thought. She looks worried.

"Althea? What is it?"

"Just a minute." Althea rushes to the kitchen area and returns with a small plant in her hand. It's an herb of some variety, and its once green and vibrant leaves are now wilted and brown.

"It needs water," I tell her.

Althea shakes her head. "It's had water. It wasn't like this yesterday."

I'm not sure where she's going with this, but from the look on her face, I can tell the news isn't good. "Althea? What is it?"

Althea looks up from the plant and stares at me. "I think I know why everyone is feeling ill. It's the water. Our water supply has been tainted."

"Do you mean the Invaders…?" I don't finish my question. I don't have to.

Althea nods. "I think so."

"How sure are you that it's the water?"

"Well, these are the signs of water poisoning, and everyone has been feeling ill. Some more than others though. Angel, you store bottles of water in your bunker, right?"

"Yes, water from the spring."

"So do we. But not everyone here does that, and that would explain why some are sicker. They've been drinking the contaminated water."

"And I started feeling sick after dinner, after I drank from the tainted supply."

"We need to stop further consumption of it, before this situation gets anymore out of hand."

"Althea, how bad could this get?"

Althea looks to the sick lying in cots, then turns back to me. "If their immune systems are weak and they're exposed to it for prolonged periods of time, then this situation could very well be fatal."


	28. Retaliation - pt 2

**CHAPTER 28 – RETALIATION, PT 2**

The commons room is only half full when I call a meeting, which is no surprise considering half the population is sick. The rest of us aren't feeling great either, but we're upright at least.

Once everyone who I think is coming has arrived, I call for attention. The room becomes silent, and everyone faces me.

"First of all, I feel I owe everyone here an apology. Protecting our water supply wasn't something that occurred to me. Our food and water supplies are necessities, and it's also our vulnerability. If we don't have adequate supplies, then we can't survive."

"But, Angel, you couldn't have known they would do this," Roman says.

"I didn't know they would do it, but it should have occurred to me that it was a possibility. Poisoning an enemy's water supply is an old wartime tactic. And an effective one too. We're a threat, so therefore, they're trying to eliminate us. And if it hadn't been for Althea, we may have figured it out too late. And it could still be too late. There's an elderly man that's very sick in one of the bunkers. And some of the children are still very weak too. From now on, we need to be extra vigilant when it comes to the Invaders. They'll try anything to defeat us."

"So what do we do now?" Walker asks.

"I say we poison _their_ water supply!" Grayer says. A few people in the back mumble in agreement.

"No, we're not doing that," I tell him firmly.

"Turnabout is fair play, Angel!" Grayer scoffs.

"Listen, we're _not_ poisoning anyone's water supply. We do that, and we put innocent people at risk."

"Not to mention the food supply," Roman adds. "Water is vital to the Garden District. Most of Astoria's food supply comes from there. We cannot afford to put the lives of our own people or our crops in danger."

"Well we can't just sit on our asses and do nothing!" Grayer says.

The commons room becomes loud with several people talking at once. It takes me giving out a shrill whistle to get everyone's attention again.

"Alright, listen. We have two things we need to do. Our first priority is to get drinkable water to everyone and get everyone feeling better again. Can we agree that's the most pressing need at the moment?"

Everyone agrees.

"Okay, our second priority is to fight back. We know the majority of the Invaders are in the Garden District, but the weather has hindered our efforts to go there. Well the snow has finally stopped, so we're not as Grayer so eloquently put it going to 'sit on our asses and do nothing'. So, who wants to volunteer to help fight?"

I stare Grayer down, and the older man raises his hand.

* * *

The frigid air bites at our small group as we head north to a fresh water supply. Unless they've poisoned the spring, which we doubt they have since it must supply their own water as well, we should be able to get everyone fresh, clean water.

"Damn, it's cold," Grayer complains, stating the obvious.

We're all dressed in several layers to keep our body temperatures warm in the freezing temperatures. It's hard to fight the temptation to sit down and rest, but we must keep moving.

"We're almost there," Roman says.

When we finally arrive, the spring looks like a skating rink as the freezing temperatures have turned everything to ice. We've come prepared though. One by one, we all begin to chip away at the ice.

Well, no one said this would be easy.

* * *

" _Angel!"_

 _At the sound of her shouting, I ran out of the bathroom with no shirt on and my fly half-zipped to see what was the matter. "What's wrong?"_

 _Buffy, who was on the floor next to the open closet, turned around and smiled. "Nothing. Look what I found! And they're my size!" She held up a pair of women's ice skates. Now I understood her excitement._

" _There's a pond not far from here, and it's frozen over."_

" _I know! I remember seeing it yesterday."_

 _As I went to my bag to grab a shirt, she rummaged around in the closet again. A few moments later, she pulled out another pair of ice skates. They were a man's pair. "Look! This is perfect!"_

 _I shook my head. "They're probably not my size."_

 _Buffy smiled. "Actually, they're *exactly* your size! What are the odds of that?"_

 _I smiled back. "That's quite a coincidence."_

" _Wow, I haven't been ice skating in forever. The last time I went ice skating was…our botched date night. Remember?"_

" _I remember."_

" _Well, you owe me a second date."_

 _I laughed. "Yeah, I guess I do."_

 _I was sure the next hour would be spent with Buffy skating gracefully on the ice and me trying not to fall on my ass, but I couldn't wait._

* * *

A team has been assembled for the next mission to the Garden District. Conan knows the area better than anyone since it is his home district, so he will come. Roman, Grayer, and Hornsby will also accompany me. Once we get there, we'll take refuge in an abandoned barn the men are familiar with from their last journey. Their "safe house" as they call it. From there, we'll strategize our revenge.

The five of us trudge through the snow in a wooded area. On my feet are a new pair of boots, or rather, a gently-used pair. My old ones had become so worn that I was unable to wear them anymore. The old man who became very sick from the water poisoning gave them to me, claiming I needed them more than he did at the moment. Lucky for me we wear the same shoe size.

I think about that man as we continue on our way, hoping he gets better. At the same time, I keep blaming myself for letting the Invaders get one on us. The Astorians look up to me as if I'm some sort of hero that will save them all, but I don't deserve that title. I feel as if I keep failing them.

In addition to the piles of snow, we have fog to contend with. An advantage for us as it keeps us hidden, as well as a disadvantage because we can't see who might be lurking. The sky offers no help either as the clouds have kept the sun hidden for days.

"We should be getting there soon, right?" Grayer asks. He sounds impatient, but for once, I have to agree with him. I want to be there already too.

"Shortly," Conan says.

"What's that up ahead?" Roman asks.

I look to where he points. It looks like a light up ahead, and high up, but we can't make out anything in the fog.

"Perhaps they have installed flood lights," Hornsby suggests.

I shrug. "Possibly. We'll know once we get closer."

"Can't see anything in this damn fog," Grayer complains. "Hey, Conan, how come you didn't predict _this_ happening?"

Conan shoots Grayer an angry look. "The fog came on suddenly."

Grayer rolls his eyes.

"Guys, can we focus here? I'm not in the mood for another argument."

"Sorry, Angel," Conan says.

"Listen, let's keep our voices down. We never know who might be waiting up ahead."

After a few minutes, the mysterious light comes into focus, along with a strange humming sound. I have a sinking feeling of what it is.

"It's an electric fence," Roman says as if reading my mind.

The fence is tall, and the light we saw from a distance is located at the top, indicating that the fence is on.

"This wasn't here before," Conan tells us.

"They're trying to keep us out," Roman says.

I smile. "I'd like to see them try."

The ground is too frozen for us to dig a hole underneath, and there are no trees nearby to aid us in climbing over to the other side. Therefore, our only option is to follow the fence and see where it leads. There has to be an opening somewhere.

* * *

A few miles later, we find the fence's opening. It's a large gate, and it's guarded…heavily. Apparently only a few select are allowed entry. Somehow, I don't think our presence will be welcomed.

"What's the plan, Angel?" Grayer asks.

"Yeah, how will we get past all of those guards?" Hornsby asks.

"Simple. I'm going to cause a commotion to distract them. While that's going on, you guys are going to slip in unnoticed."

"What about you?" Roman asks.

"Don't worry about me. Look, get in, and get to the safe house like we discussed. I'll catch up to you later."

"Will you be able to find it?" Conan asks, concerned.

"Just south of the river near the woods, right?"

Conan nods. "Yes. You'll need to cross the bridge to get to it. It's not far from the barn."

"I'll find it. Everybody clear on the plan?"

The men nod.

"Okay. Lay low until you get your chance. I'll see you soon."

Armed with my trusty axe, I brazenly march forward in full view of the guards. "Hey!" I shout. "You the bastards that thought it funny to poison our water?"

The two guards at the gate immediately descend upon me. They're both armed with fairly large swords, and once closer, they each take a swipe at me. I dodge their moves and swing the axe forward to clip one of them on the shoulder.

I hear more guards in the vicinity which distracts me for a split second, causing the other guard to nick me on the arm. I turn around and swing the axe at my opponent. The blade connects with his neck and comes back bloody. I then manage to knock the other guard down to the ground. He's down, but not out.

At this time, five to seven more guards are charging toward me. I'm starting to wonder if I made a mistake and bit off more than I can chew when I feel a sting to my neck. I think for a moment that one of the guards hit me with an arrow, but shrug off the pain and slam my axe down on another guard. He too falls to the ground.

Suddenly, the remaining guards swarm me. For some reason, I start to feel dizzy, and my vision blurs. Then the darkness envelopes me…

* * *

When I regain consciousness, I find myself on a cold cement floor behind bars. Evidently, I'm in jail. I rub my neck where I still feel a sting. Something knocked me out.

"Thought you'd never wake up," a voice to my right says. "Those tranquilizer darts are a bitch, aren't they?"

I turn to see an old man. His blue skin is faded and wrinkled, and he's completely hairless save for the white beard on his face. He sits in the opposite corner huddled underneath a threadbare blanket. It's chilly in this cell, but at least it's out of the elements.

"Nice to have some company finally," he says. "Though I'm sorry you're here. I'm Hans."

"Angel."

"What'd they get you for?"

I shrug. "Trespassing? Why are you here?"

Hans shrugs. "Oh, isn't it obvious? I'm old, and I'm feeble. I have a bad hip and my knees give out, and I can't take two steps without needing to rest and catch my breath. I'm no use to them. They can't make an old man a slave."

"They locked you up for being helpless?"

He nods. "I suppose they could have just killed me, but some sick, twisted Invader thought it would be better to starve me. Sometimes I wish for death. Then this would all be over with."

"Don't think that. This will be over with. I won't rest until this thing is over."

I start to move closer to the old man, but Hans holds his hands up to stop me.

"No, don't get too close," Hans warns before a coughing fit seizes him. When the old man can finally speak, he gives me a pitiful look.

"You're sick?"

Hans nods. "Very, and it's contagious. Please, keep your distance. I wouldn't want to be the one to get the great warrior sick, now would I?"

"You…know who I am?"

The man starts hacking again, then nods. "Of course. There's not too many humans here. Heard you and some others caused quite a ruckus in the Sea District."

"We killed several head Invaders, yes. Now maybe if we can find Cronus, we can start to end this thing."

"Oh, you won't find Cronus here in this district."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Positive."

"Where is he?"

He shrugs. "That, I don't know, but I know he's not here."

"How can you be so certain?"

"Because I hear things." He nods towards the bars. "I hear the guards talk. They don't care what they say in front of me. I'm just an old man who's going to die soon anyway."

"Hans, listen to me. You have to tell me what you know. It could be important."

"Sure, I'll tell you—" he stops mid-sentence to cough again, then gives me an apologetic look. "Sorry, I can't help it."

"That's okay. Go on with what you were saying."

"I'll tell you what I know. When Cronus comes for a visit, the guards are all in a tizzy because no one wants to be on his bad side. You get what I'm saying? Like a teenage child rushing to clean the house after a party before his parents walk in the door. That's how I know he isn't here."

"Tell me what else you've heard."

"Oh, different things, little snippets of conversations here and there. But none of it makes much sense."

"Just tell me. I'll make sense of it later."

"They keep talking about a compound, and something about fertilizing."

"Fertilizing? The crops?"

"Maybe, but it was odd the way they were talking about it. Didn't make much sense."

"Tell me what you heard."

Hans shrugs. "I don't remember exactly. I just remember it didn't make much sense at the time. They kept going on about the eggs. I guess they could have been referring to the hen houses. And if that's the case, then they sure do like to eat a lot of chicken."

"Go back to what you said earlier. You said something about a compound?"

"Yeah, some place they go back and forth to."

"Where?"

"I don't know. Could be anywhere. I haven't seen the outside of this cell in months. What's it like out there?"

I shake my head. "Not much better than it is in here."

* * *

I'm shivering when I wake up the next morning. Hans mentioned last night that the guards do provide prisoners with a ration of coffee, which I eagerly anticipate. I don't care if it's mostly water. Anything hot will do at the moment. Once I get the chill off, I can think of how to get us out of this hellhole.

"Hans?" I whisper to the old man.

He appears to be sleeping and doesn't answer.

"Hans?" I call a little louder.

The old man doesn't stir. I slept very little during the night, and not once did I hear the man's hacking cough.

"Hans?" I move closer to the old man, then gingerly give him a shake.

But Hans doesn't open his eyes. When I reach to feel for his pulse, I feel nothing.

"Damn," I mutter. Not only has an innocent man died, but I've lost my only inside source for information.

* * *

In an effort to keep warm, since the coffee doesn't appear to be forthcoming, I pace my cell and move around to get my blood circulating. As I do, I spot something just outside my cell. I hope it's what I think it is. I move closer to the bars and see that it is…my axe. One of the guards had hung it on the wall. How stupid of them, but fortunate for me. I'd be crushed if I had lost that weapon.

I think for a while, and a few minutes later, the beginnings of an escape plan come to mind. I move closer to the bars and grab hold. "GUARD! HEY! GUARD!"

After a few minutes of yelling and otherwise creating a ruckus, one of the younger guards slowly makes his way to my holding cell.

"What?" he barks.

"We have a problem. A big one."

The guard gives me a look, as if to say that I'd better have a good reason for disturbing him. "What?"

I nod over to Hans. "The man over there. He's dead."

"Then I suppose he's not causing any problems, now is he?" The guard starts to walk away.

"WAIT! He is causing a problem!"

The guard stops and turns to look at me, then he smiles. "If the smell of rotting flesh bothers you, then that's your problem."

"No, listen to me. That man was very sick. He had the fever."

"Too bad for him."

"Too bad for you, for all of us, if you keep him in here."

The guard seems intrigued. "What do you mean?"

"Don't you know how contagious the fever is? Look, you may think the fact that he's dead isn't a problem, but that's where you're wrong. If you leave this man to rot here, then everyone here will be at risk for catching his illness. It's airborne, you see. Leaving his corpse here will kill us all within a matter of days if he's not buried immediately. Trust me, I'm friends with a healer. I know a lot about the diseases in this world. Now you don't want to be responsible for an outbreak of the fever, now do you?"

The guard hesitates for a moment, then calls out for another one of the guards.

Seconds later, an older guard appears. "What is it?" he asks.

"Help me get this man out. He's died from the fever. If we don't get dispose of him, we risk all of us getting terribly ill."

"I'll get him," he replies. "You keep an eye on him." The guard points to me.

The younger guard nods as the older one begins to unlock the cell door. I stand back as the older guard comes inside and goes over to Hans.

"Be careful not to touch any bodily fluids," I warn him.

The guard barely glances at me, then hauls Hans over his shoulder. Meanwhile, the younger guard stands at the door with his sword at the ready.

My chance is now. While the guard is holding Hans, his hands are full. Perfect opportunity to attack. I grab the guard's head from behind and snap his neck. The guard, and poor Hans, both fall to the ground.

The younger guard looks alarmed, and I use his surprise to my advantage. He never saw my fist coming. I push him out the door, then make my way through. The guard charges forward with his sword, but I turn around and kick him back. Lucky for me, he stumbles back into the cell. I kick him again until he's down, then slam the cell door shut before he can stand up. The key is still in the lock, so I lock it and pocket the key.

"GUARDS!" he yells, but no one comes.

I casually take my axe off the wall and smile at him. "Now you know how it feels."

* * *

I make it out of the building without incident, but I know soon enough, I'll have them on my trail again. The footprints I leave in the snow will lead them straight to me, which I don't need or want right now. So in an effort to throw them off, I walk in circles and double back to make it harder for them to know which direction I'm going. Now, if only I knew what direction I was going…

I focus on trying to find the safe house. As a general rule, I'm pretty good with finding my way in unfamiliar areas, but the perpetual cloudy winter Astorian skies is making it extremely difficult. I don't even know where the sun is in relation to the sky, and without that, I have no idea if I'm going north or south. And of course, I don't have the compass with me. Roman has it, but we hadn't counted on us being separated. Sure could use it right about now.

As I trudge through the snow, I decide to focus on finding the river. I'm in a large wooded area on the outskirts of the district, so the river must be somewhere around here. If I can find the river, I can find my way to the safe house.

My plans, however, are derailed when I feel a raindrop hit me in the nose. I hope it stays to just a misty sprinkle, but a few minutes later, it's a steady downpour. It's not that I mind the rain, but out here in these temperatures, being wet and cold is a dangerous combination. I scramble for cover underneath a rock ledge that I'm fortunate to come across.

I'm going to have to wait it out.

* * *

I must have dozed off, because when I open my eyes, I'm surprised to see that it's gotten much darker. And not only that, but I'm shivering. But at least the rain has finally stopped.

The urge to stay here and rest longer is overwhelming, but I have to get moving. Despite the fact that I'm freezing cold and haven't had anything to eat in over twenty-four hours, I muster up the strength to start walking again.

The temperature has dropped, and the rain that has settled upon the snow has formed to ice. It crunches under my boot with every step. I'm sure the temperature will plummet even more tonight, making it crucial I find the safe house before then.

With a sigh, I keep on moving.

* * *

Sometime later, whether it was minutes or hours, I don't know, I finally stumble upon the river. All I need to do is follow it, and I will be able to find my way.

There's a problem though. I'm fairly certain that I need to be on the other side. There's a bridge to cross it somewhere, but I don't know if I've long since passed it, or if it's coming up. I think the bridge is further downstream, so I decide to follow the river. And finally, after a very long and cold journey, I spot the bridge. I'm relieved I went in the right direction. At least my instincts aren't completely dead.

I start to walk over the bridge, but my foot slips underneath. I grab the rail to keep from falling. I look down at the bridge under my feet. "Great. Iced-over."

I was never elegant on the ice, as Buffy can attest when we went ice-skating, but I manage to use the handrails for support. It doesn't help that the bridge is one of those rope-type ones. They're hard to cross on a good day.

Something doesn't seem right up ahead though. When I get closer to the other side, I realize what it is. Some of the boards that make up the bridge are missing. I can still cross, but it will be tricky. I can't help but wonder if it was deliberate, though I'm sure it's possible the weather could have been a factor too.

Gingerly, I step on one board, extend my leg as far as I can, then make it to the next board. So far, so good. The next step, however, looks a little harder. Once again, I grip the handrails and take a step forward. All seems good until I hear a cracking sound below me.

Suddenly, the boards collapse under my weight, and I feel myself falling. The icy water hits me like a thousand needles prickling my skin. The cold takes my breath away as I struggle to keep my head above water. It's hard to swim with the current taking me downstream, but I _have_ to get out of here.

The current slams me against a rock, but I can hardly think about the pain in my shoulder. All I can think about is how damn _cold_ I am. Using the rock as a step, I hoist myself up, then somehow muster the energy to climb ashore.

Once on the bank, I collapse in the snow.

* * *

 _Buffy was warming her hands by the fire when I came inside with firewood._

 _"God, I'm freezing!" Buffy said. "Feel my hands." Buffy snatched off her gloves and placed her hands on my cheek, almost making me jump._

 _"God, you're freezing!"_

" _I told you!"_

" _Maybe I should throw another log on." I set the firewood down and threw another one into the fire, making it roar to life._

" _Maybe we should go back to bed," Buffy said as she gave me a look._

" _Oh yeah?"_

" _Yeah, it has a nice electric blanket, don't you think?" Buffy crossed the room and began stripping off her clothes._

 _I started to take off my clothes and joined her. "Oh yeah, it's pretty nice. But I don't think we'll need it."_

" _Oh?" Buffy, who was now down to her underwear, climbed under the covers and gave me a smile._

" _No, we won't need it." I threw my shirt onto the floor and shoved my jeans down._

" _I don't know…it's pretty cold in this bed."_

" _Not for long," I said as I slipped underneath the covers with her. "We'll generate our own heat."_

* * *

When I open my eyes again, I'm sure I'm hallucinating. Buffy is standing over me.

"Buffy?"

Maybe it's not a hallucination. Maybe she's here for me. How is that possible?

" _What are you doing_?" she asks.

She sounds angry, and I'm confused at why. "What?"

" _Get up! Why are you just sitting there? You're going to freeze to death!"_

"I'm just resting...for a moment." My eyes start to close again. I can't help it.

 _"Angel, get up! You can't rest! You'll fall asleep and get hypothermia!"_

I open my eyes. Buffy kneels down and gets in my face. " _Angel, don't you get what I'm saying? You'll die out here!"_

I close my eyes for a split second, and when I open them again, Buffy is gone. So I was hallucinating, but I'm glad for it. Buffy, hallucination or not, reminds me that I can't ever give up. If I die, I'm never going to see her again. I have to live so that I can see this through, end this war, and finally go home.

With a renewed strength, I get up to my feet and take slow, painful steps forward. My feet are numb, as well as my hands and nose, but I have to keep moving.

* * *

Up ahead, I think I see a barn, but my vision is blurry and my mind is fuzzy. I'm not shivering anymore, which is a really bad sign. But maybe, just maybe, if I can make it to that barn up ahead, then maybe I can get warm. I really hope it's the safe house.

The closer I get, the further the barn seems to me, and my strength is running out. A weakness I've never felt before overcomes me, and I collapse to the ground. I can no longer carry the weight of my own body.

The snow is cold on my cheek, but I don't have the energy to move. My eyelids are heavy, and I close them. I'm just going to rest for a moment. Just a moment, and then I'll get going again.

* * *

When I wake up, I'm covered in warm blankets, and Althea and Roman are hovering over me. They both looked relieved, and I know for the second time, I have been saved from the brink of death.

I glance around at my surroundings and realize that I'm back in the bunkers. In my bunker specifically. I don't even remember being rescued.

"You gave us quite the scare, Angel," Althea says.

"I'm sorry about that," I mumble. My voice is weak, hoarse.

"I'll go get you something hot to drink," Althea offers.

Roman moves his chair closer. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I almost froze to death."

"We found you just in time."

"What happened?"

"We waited at the safe house, but when it looked like you were not going to return to us, we decided to go look for you. We were fearful the Invaders were holding you captive."

"They were, but I got away."

"We found you not far from the safe house. You were almost there, but you were half-frozen to death."

"I fell in the river when crossing the bridge."

"We suspected. Your clothing was soaked. We immediately took you back to the safe house. We were afraid you would die of hypothermia. When we got you there, we took off your wet clothes and covered you with blankets near the fire. You slept the whole time, and we were quite worried. At that point, we decided to abandon the mission and go home."

"So how…how did I get here?"

"You don't remember?"

I shake my head weakly.

"We took a risk. Hornsby and Conan left the safe house and stole a couple of horses and a wagon. We loaded you up in it, covered you with blankets, and sat with you to keep you warm. Then we got out of there."

"But the bridge…"

"Yes, it was too dangerous to cross, but there's a sturdier bridge further downstream."

"But how did you get past the gate?"

Roman smiles. "We took out a few guards."

I smile back at him. "Good job."

Althea returns with a mug of something hot. Tea, coffee, I don't care what, just as long as it's hot. "Thank you." The mug's warmness feels nice again my hands, and I take a sip of the hot liquid.

"What happened out there?" Althea asks.

I tell Roman and Althea everything, about how I got captured, Hans, how I escaped, and finally, how I got myself into trouble.

"You're very lucky to be alive."

"So, what now, Angel?" Roman asks. "When you recuperate, should we head back to the district?"

I shake my head. "No, that would be a waste of time. I'm rethinking my strategy here." I look at Roman. "We need to find Cronus. And find this compound Hans mentioned. And maybe when we do, we can start to end this thing."

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks again for being so patient with me while I slowly get this story finished! :) The next chapter is already done, so I promise you won't have to wait another month for an update. After that, there are a few more chapters that need some revision, so we'll have to see about those.

I was going to make this another fighting/battle chapter, but decided that I really didn't want to do that again, so I changed things up. Angel can't win every battle, and in this case, the battle didn't even get off the ground. But there are some hints of things to come later in the story. Hope you like it.

Until 29!


	29. Birthday Boy

**CHAPTER 29 – BIRTHDAY BOY**

 _January 20, 2002_

 _Dear Journal,_

 _Everyone thinks I'm insane, but I don't care._

 _So what if I follow Liam around with a video camera nearly every day? And yes, me and the guy at the hour photo place are on a first name basis now._

 _But I don't want to miss a moment, not a single second of our son's life, and I don't want you to miss it either._

 _Our little boy is one year old today. I wish you could be here to see it._

* * *

"Is this really necessary?" Dawn complains as she walks into the dining room with a handful of balloons for Liam's party. "The kid is one! He's not even going to remember this!"

"He's only going to have his first birthday once," I say, taking the balloons and tying them to the chair. "I want this day to be special."

"I'm surprised you didn't invite Bobo the Clown," Dawn mutters as she leaves the room.

"Well she thought about it, but he was booked," Xander jokes.

"I think it's really nice, Buffy," Willow says, placing Liam in his high chair. "I mean, look at him. He's happy. I think he's knows something special is going on today."

"Thanks, Will."

"Uh, Buffy?" Giles asks, standing in the doorway with a handful of wrapped presents. "Where did you want these?"

"Living room is fine. Put them on the coffee table."

"I have cake for the birthday boy." Mom walks into the room with a large white sheet cake in her hands. She places it in the middle of the table.

I move to get a closer look at it. Elmo's face is painted on with frosting, and underneath, it says "Happy Birthday, Liam!"

"Mom, it's perfect! Thanks for picking it up!"

"You're welcome. Anything for my grandson. I think it looks rather good myself. So, are we about ready to get this first birthday party started?"

"Yep, almost. Where's my video camera? I wanted to film this."

"I think it's in the living room," Xander says. "I'll go get it."

Xander returns with the video camera, and a few minutes later, we're all gathered around the table.

"Is it recording?" I ask Xander.

"It is now," Xander says, aiming the camera towards Liam.

"Good. I want to make sure we get him smearing birthday cake all over his face." I light the single candle on Liam's cake, and we all sing "Happy Birthday" to him.

After the song, I help Liam blow out his candle, and I make a wish for him.

 _I wish his father would come home soon._

* * *

 _Angel smiled at me from across the table as I reached for the dessert menu. There was a picture of a tiramisu on the front cover, and it looked too good to resist. I perused through the menu, though my mind was already made up. "Do you want dessert?"_

" _Why don't we skip dessert and go straight to the other kind of dessert?" Angel said with a mischievous grin on his face._

" _As tempting as that sounds, you really don't want to pass up dessert here. It's to die for."_

 _The waiter arrived at our table at that moment to clear our table off. "Would you like any dessert, or are you ready for the check?" he asked us._

 _I smiled at Angel, then turned back to the waiter. "Yes, we will definitely be having dessert. It's his birthday. We're celebrating."_

 _Angel gave me a confused look, but stayed silent._

" _Oh, then happy birthday! Pick out any dessert you like. No charge."_

 _Angel then gave the waiter a confused look. "Really? I can have any dessert for free?"_

 _I nudged Angel under the table with my foot. "Of course, because it's your birthday!"_

" _What would you like to have?" the waiter asked._

 _Angel picked up the menu and scanned the dessert items. "Hmm, it all looks so good. I do like chocolate cake, but I've never tried the tiramisu before." Angel looked at me. "What do you think I should get?"_

" _You're a chocoholic, so go with the cake. But I'll order the tiramisu and let you have a bite. Then you'll have a little bit of both."_

 _Angel nodded and handed the dessert menu back to the waiter. "That sounds good. Let's do that."_

 _The waiter smiled. "Alright, I'll be back in a few minutes."_

 _Once the waiter was out of earshot, Angel leaned toward me and whispered. "Why did you tell him it's my birthday?"_

" _Because I knew if I did, you'd get your dessert for free. When I lived in L.A. we went to this restaurant a lot. If you were a kid, they'd also give you a balloon."_

" _They're not going to…sing to me, are they?" Angel looked slightly panicked._

 _I laughed. "No, they won't."_

 _Angel breathed a sigh of relief. "Good."_

" _We'll have to come back in July for your actual birthday. Hopefully we won't get the same waiter. But you can't beat free desert."_

" _No, you can't."_

" _Speaking of birth dates…what year were you born again? As a human, I mean."_

" _1727."_

 _I did the math in my head. "Hmm, so that would make you…"_

 _Angel grinned at me across the table._

" _Wow, you're really kind of old," I teased._

" _Thanks."_

 _A few minutes later, the waiter returned with our desserts. "Enjoy, and happy birthday again!"_

" _Thank you."_

 _I started to laugh._

" _What's funny?"_

" _Nothing. I was just thinking how funny it would be if he asked you how old you were."_

" _Yeah, that might be hard to explain." Angel looked down at the chocolate cake before him. "This looks really good."_

" _Well dig in, birthday boy!"_

 _Angel grabbed his fork and broke off the corner of the cake. When he put the piece in his mouth, he moaned and his eyes glazed over. If he was standing, I bet his knees would have buckled._

" _Good, huh?"_

 _Angel had no words. He just nodded, put another piece in his mouth, and moaned again._

" _Well if you like that, have a bite of this. This place makes the best tiramisu on the west coast."_

" _That has coffee in it, right?"_

" _Yeah."_

 _Angel took a break from his chocolate and speared a small bite of my dessert. He had the same reaction as the cake, then helped himself to one more bite._

" _You like, huh?"_

" _Oh yeah," he mumbled with a mouth full. "We're going to be eating here again."_

* * *

Toys, tissue paper, and gift bags are scattered all over the living room floor. Liam, with a red bow in his hand, cruises his way around the coffee table. It figures that with all of the new toys he got today, he'd rather play with a bow.

"He's still not walking on his own yet?" Anya asks me as she pops a pretzel into her mouth.

"No, not yet. And we were so sure he'd be an early walker. He can pull himself up and walk just fine as long as he has something to hold on to, but he's just nervous to take that first step I guess."

"Well he doesn't need to walk," Xander says. "All he needs to do is point and someone will bring him what he wants."

At that moment, Liam points to the bowl of pretzels on the coffee table. Anya notices and pushes the bowl closer to him. "Here, baby!"

I grab the bowl before Liam can shove his hand into it. "No, no, not until he has a few more teeth."

"Liam has another present," Willow says as she brings me another gift. "This one's from me."

"Liam, come see what Auntie Willow has bought for you."

Liam ignores me.

I unwrap the gift for him, since he can't do it himself, and open the box to reveal a Tickle Me Elmo. "Will, thank you! I love it!"

Willow smiles. "I figured with the Sesame Street birthday theme, it would be appropriate."

"And Elmo is Liam's favorite character."

Mom hands me a pair of scissors, which I use to free Elmo from his plastic bindings. Then, I give Elmo a test tickle. The little monster begins to roar with laughter, which makes me laugh too. "This is really cute. I sort of want one too."

"Uh, Buffy?" Willow says. "Look."

I look up, and Liam, who seems intrigued by Elmo's laughter, is slowly making his way towards me.

"Liam! You're walking!"

Liam, unaware of this milestone that he has just accomplished, only seems to have one goal in mind: getting hold of Elmo. I hold Elmo up and get him to shake and laugh again. Liam keeps walking. When he finally reaches me, he take Elmo and a big grin spreads across his face.

"Baby, you just walked all by yourself!"

I gather Liam into my arms and shower him with hugs and kisses. Liam only seems interested in Elmo. I look up at Xander, who has been in charge of the video camera. "Please, _please_ tell me you got that on video."

Xander holds up the video camera and smiles. "I got it all on video."

* * *

 _The bedroom was dark, which made finding my clothes a little difficult. My pants and underwear had been located, but my bra was MIA. I turned the nightlight on and scanned the room. I finally spotted my bra just underneath the bed. Lord knows how it ended up there._

 _Just as I was snapping it back on, I turned to see Angel staring at me from the bed with sleepy eyes. "Where are you going?"_

" _You know." I reached for my shirt on the floor and began to put it on._

" _You weren't going to leave without saying goodbye, were you?"_

" _Of course not." I moved back over to the bed and kissed him._

" _You have to go now?"_

" _I have to drive back to Sunnydale. I have class in the morning. This is new. Have we switched places? Usually it's me not wanting to go and you pushing me out the door."_

" _I know, but it's a special day."_

" _It is?"_

" _It's my birthday."_

 _I laughed. "It is not."_

" _Well, no, but that's not what the waiter at Antonio's thinks." Angel glanced at his digital clock. "And it's a quarter till midnight, so it's still my birthday. And I didn't get my birthday present."_

" _You got chocolate cake and sex."_

" _Well, yeah. But I still want…more."_

" _Naughty boy," I whispered as I bent down to kiss him again. "I like you having the separation anxiety. It's cute."_

" _I know you need to go. I just miss you when you're gone. That's all. Our weekends together just aren't enough. They go by too fast."_

" _Well, technically, it's still the weekend. For fifteen more minutes at least."_

" _Yeah…"_

" _So I guess I could be coaxed into staying a little bit longer."_

 _A huge grin spread across Angel's face. "Oh yeah?"_

 _I smiled back at him and moved the covers aside. "We'll end your 'birthday' on a happy note. How does that sound?"_

* * *

After the guests have gone and the party is over, I take Liam upstairs to our room for some quiet time. The party, though exciting, has thrown us both off our routine and Liam needs some calm before he has a meltdown.

Over on the nightstand, I've got one more present for the birthday boy. Liam grabs the small wrapped gift and studies the patterns on the paper.

"You want to open it?"

Liam bites the paper, making me laugh. "I'll take that as a yes."

I carry Liam to the bed and sit him down. When I start to rip into the paper, Liam helps and grabs a fistful of it. I let him tear a piece off before unveiling the surprise inside.

The gift is a framed portrait of Angel and myself that I had snagged out of one of my photo albums.

"See this picture, Liam? That's me and your daddy."

Liam, intrigued by the picture because it's something new, grabs hold of the frame.

"Do you see mama?"

Liam touches the glass over my face, leaving his smudgy little fingerprints behind. I don't mind though. He can touch this picture as much as he wants.

I move my hand over Angel's face. And there's daddy."

Liam pats the glass, then gives me a smile.

"This is for you, Liam. I know you've never met your daddy before, but I promise you I won't give up on trying to find a way to bring him home. He's going to be so excited to meet you someday."

Liam takes the frame again and stares at it. He smiles again, then waves the frame around happily. I kiss him and hold him close.

"Someday Liam. Someday daddy will come home."

* * *

" _Okay, I really need to go," I moaned as I glanced at the clock. It was already half past midnight, and somehow, Angel had talked me into taking off all my clothes again. Funny how that always happens._

 _When I tried to move away, Angel held me down. "I can't sleep without you."_

 _I turned to look at him and smiled. "I know. It's hard for me too."_

" _What time is your class tomorrow?"_

" _Ten."_

" _So leave early in the morning. I'll set my alarm. You'll have time to make it."_

" _How early? I'm not a morning person."_

" _But you'll get a good night's sleep."_

 _I weighed my options. I could drive back tonight, crash in my bed, and try to sleep before dragging myself to class. Or sleep here with Angel where I was already quite comfortable._

" _Well?"_

" _Okay, you talked me into it." I rested my head back on his shoulder. "But, Angel?"_

" _Yeah."_

" _I really need to sleep this time. No more sex tonight. I'm exhausted."_

 _Angel laughed._


	30. The Hardest Job in the World

**CHAPTER 30 - THE HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD**

 _April 28, 2002_

 _Dear Journal,_

 _Two years. It's been two years, Angel! Why aren't you back? I keep telling myself to not lose hope. I think if you were truly gone, I would feel it. We always had this sort of uncanny connection, you know? Like how if you were standing behind me, I'd feel this little twinge in my spine and just know you were there. So no, I don't think you're truly gone. I think that wherever you are, you're still trying to come back to me. I just never thought it would take this long._

 _I guess I'm one to talk though. Maybe you're wondering why I haven't been able to come to you. Believe me, I've tried. I've tried so many times. And I will keep trying to find a way to bring you home. I want you to see your son. He's growing and changing every day, and I hate that you're not here to see it. I just hope that you're someplace safe. If I knew you were in a hell dimension, languishing away in some sort of demon prison, and that I couldn't get you back, I don't know how I would live with myself._

* * *

The bitter cold from Astoria's brutal winter finally loses its grip, and gradually, spring returns. After the cold had kept so many of us cooped up, the men are eager to emerge and resume our war.

Hornsby heads a group that resumes its search for Astoria's Crystal. Despite previous efforts, it has still not been located. With the Crystal gone and dismantled, there is no magic in this world.

And no going home for me.

Meanwhile, I head up a group to search for Cronus, and specifically, the mysterious compound I learned about from Hans, the prisoner in the Garden District. Grayer, thorn in my side, has objections as usual.

"This is a waste of time," he grumbles. "You talk about this compound as if it's some huge castle, and there's no building like that in Astoria!"

I shoot Grayer a look. "I don't know what it looks like, or how big it is. But it's not a waste of our time. Wherever this place is, we're going to find Cronus."

Since Hans seemed convinced Cronus wasn't in the Garden District, our next thought is that perhaps he's taken up residence in either the Forest or the Sea Districts.

We head to the Forest District first, which we know houses a few large lumber factories. We're not prepared for what we find though.

* * *

Liam, after digging around in my mom's back garden, toddles over to me with something in his hand.

"What do you have, baby?"

Liam thrusts a handful of crushed wildflowers into my palm.

"Aww, thank you, baby." I pull Liam to me and kiss his cheek. "You're so sweet."

"Hey, does Auntie Willow get flowers too?" Willow asks.

Liam looks to her, then runs off back to the bushes.

Willow laughs, watching Liam from the across the yard. "I can't believe how fast he's growing! It feels like just yesterday he was a newborn."

It's funny Willow says this, because I had been thinking the exact same thought. I can't believe how fast my baby is growing up.

And Angel's missing it all.

Willow must have saw me wipe at my eyes, because she's looking at me with a concerned look on her face. "Hey, you okay, Buffy?"

I nod and try to hold on to my composure. "It's been two years today, Will. Two years since Angel has been gone."

"Oh, Buffy, I'm so sorry. I should have realized what today was."

"Every day, Liam changes. Every day he does something different or he learns something new, and Angel is missing it all. I know you don't think Angel will come back, but I have to hope for my little boy's sake that Liam will one day get to meet his father."

By this time, Liam returns with more flowers, which he drops into Willow's lap.

"Thank you, Liam! These are beautiful flowers."

Liam moves over to my side and stares at me with his big brown eyes. "Up," he says.

I scoop Liam up into my lap, and his hand touches my cheek. He sees the tear rolling down it.

"Yeah, baby, Mommy's crying. I'm feeling sad. But I bet a hug might make me feel better. Can I have a hug?"

Liam wraps his little arms around my neck. I hold on to him tightly, rocking him back and forth. Liam doesn't complain. He still loves to be cuddled. I kiss his cheek again and breathe him in. He smells like warm sun and grass, and I could hold him all day like this.

I just wish Angel could be here to hold him too.

* * *

The Forest District is like a ghost town.

One dilapidated-looking cottage has its door wide open, as if its occupants left in a hurry. Next to it are the charred remains of another house. The dragons have had free reign here.

"Where are the people who stayed behind here?" Brutus asks, voicing the question on all of our minds aloud.

But none of us have the answer.

* * *

"If the Invaders have left the district, then maybe we can all go back home," Grayer suggests when we continue our journey.

"That's a dumb idea," Brutus says before I can say anything.

"Don't tell me you don't want to go home, Brutus," Grayer says.

"We don't know what happened to the people back at home," Roman says. "For all we know, the Invaders have captured them. Or maybe they met an untimely demise. The threat of the dragons still remains."

"But the Invaders aren't here, are they?" Grayer persists. "And I'm tired of living in the damn bunkers!"

"We all want to go home," I interject before this conversation turns into an argument. "But moving back here will just put us right back where we started…out in the open and unprotected. There's no going home until the war is over."

Grayer sighs, but mumbles a reluctant agreement.

I feel his pain though. I'm homesick too.

* * *

It takes a few extra days to arrive to the Sea District due to several downed trees and branches from recent storms blocking our paths. Some of the roads are in bad shape too. The Astorians take pride in how their land looks, but the Invaders don't care and leave it in disarray.

"More dragons are breeding," Roman says, pointing to a section of woods that are charred.

I nod. "We need to extra vigilant then."

Beyond the trees up ahead, some sort of structure begins to come into focus. I have a sinking feeling of what it is. "I think we have a problem."

"What is it, Angel?" Roman asks.

I point up ahead. Now that some of the trees are out of way, we have a much clearer view.

"Damn," Brutus mutters.

A fifty-foot electrified fence surrounds the heart of the Sea District.

* * *

I'm struggling with Liam's car seat when Riley pulls into the driveway.

"Hey," he says, getting out of his car. "Need some help?"

"Please!"

Riley walks over to my car and inspects what I've done, then goes to work at getting it strapped in.

"You'd think after a year I'd finally figure these things out, but I still have a hard time with them. I hardly ever take it out of the car, but Mom used it the other day to take Liam for his checkup, and I wanted to take him to the park today because the weather's so nice. But now I have to put the car seat _back_ in my car and how did you get that strapped in so easily?"

Riley stands up and smiles at me. "I have a lot of nieces and nephews back at home. I guess I'm used to these things."

"Oh. Well, thanks."

"No problem."

"So um…what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I just came by to drop off that study guide you forgot to get." Riley pulls out a folded sheet of paper from his pocket.

"Study guide?"

"For your psychology class?"

"Oh my god. The final is Monday, isn't it?"

Riley nods. "Afraid so."

"Oh my god! I haven't even studied for it yet! I'm going to fail!"

"You'll do fine. But I could help you study if you want," Riley offers.

"Really?"

"Yeah, sure."

"That would be great!"

"Well, I'm pretty much free all day today, but I know you have plans with your little boy right now."

I smile. "Yeah. Big outing at the park. I promised him I'd take him."

"Okay, so maybe tonight? Would that be okay?"

"Studying on a Saturday night. Woohoo! Sorry. That would be great."

Riley smiles. "Good. Okay, great."

Riley continues to stand there, making no effort to go back to his car, and the moment starts to feel a little weird. "Um…was there something else?"

"Yeah, actually, there was. I uh…I came here for another reason, not just to drop off your study guide. I uh…I wanted to ask you something."

"Okay. What is it?"

"Look, I've thought about asking you this a million times, and there's just never been a good time to ask. And then I thought to myself, if I keep waiting for the right moment to ask you, I'm never going to get around to it. So I'm just going to ask you now. Would you like to go out to dinner with me sometime?"

"You mean…like a date?"

"Yeah. A date."

"Oh, Riley, I uh…"

"That's okay. You don't have to say yes. I understand if you're not ready to date yet."

I'm relieved that he said it and not me. "I'm sorry, Riley. I just…I can't. I love Angel. I'll always love him, and it just wouldn't be fair to you. You understand?"

"It's okay. I understand. It was a long shot anyway."

"Look, you're a nice guy. If we met under different circumstances….maybe."

Riley shifts on his feet nervously. I hate that now our friendship is going to feel all awkward.

"We can still be friends, right?" I ask.

Riley nods. "Yes, of course. I'll see you tonight for that study session. Seven okay?"

"Yeah, seven's fine."

Riley smiles. "Alright. See you then."

He gets in his car and drives away, leaving me dreading seven o'clock.

* * *

"He asked you out?" Willow asks me later at the park when I tell her about Riley stopping by earlier.

"Yeah, he asked me out." I pick Liam up and place him into the swing, then get it started for him.

"Well I can't say I'm surprised."

I look at Willow, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well come on, Buffy, isn't it kind of obvious? The guy's had a crush on you ever since freshman year."

" _What_?"

"Don't tell me you didn't know! You had to know!"

"I had no idea," I say, shaking my head.

"So, what did you say?"

"What do you think I said? I turned him down."

"You turned him down? Buffy! Why?"

"Willow, I can't date Riley! Or anyone else for that matter."

"Why not? He's nice, he's attractive. He's good with Liam. And most importantly…he knows about your secret life. What else do you need? He's perfect."

I'm quiet for a moment. Deep down inside, I know the real reason why. "He's not Angel."

Willow places her hand on mine. "Buffy, I'm not saying you should forget Angel or stop loving him. But Angel wouldn't want for you to go through life being alone and miserable."

"I'm not alone. I have Liam. Hi, sweetie!" I give Liam an extra big push and make him laugh.

"Buffy, you know what I mean. Angel would want you to move on and find someone else. You can't put your life on hold and wait for Angel forever. As much as I hate to say this, I don't think he's coming back. It's been two years, Buff. Don't you think it's time for you to move on?"

"I don't want to move on, Willow."

"Alright, look, if you're not ready to date again, that's fine. But how will you know you're not ready unless you try it? You should at least keep an open mind. Why don't you just go out on one date with him? If you have fun, then great. And if you don't have a good time, then you don't have to do it again, and you can still be friends. When's Riley coming over to help you study?"

"Tonight."

"Okay then. So why don't you think about it, and when he comes over tonight, maybe you can tell him you've changed your mind."

"Maybe," I say.

But I already know that I won't.

Angel is coming back, no matter what anyone else thinks. And no matter how long it takes, I _will_ wait for him.

* * *

Before I even have a chance to knock, the Ancient One opens his door.

"I guess you were expecting us?" I ask him.

The Ancient One smiles at us. "Indeed I was. Come in, please."

The elder man moves aside and allows our group to enter.

"Please, have a seat and make yourselves at home."

"Is Yang here too?" I ask as I sit down on the couch.

"My grandson is delivering food and supplies to the villagers. We have a lot more mouths to feed, but we do what we can. Would anyone like some tea?"

After our long journey, we gratefully accept. A short while later, we are all settled in the living room. The Ancient One takes his seat in the wingback chair and places his tea on the table beside him.

"So, great warrior, what brings you to our side of Astoria?"

"We're searching for Cronus."

"Ahh, yes, the elusive Invader, but perhaps the one most feared."

"I spent some time in the Garden District. While I was there, I was captured. But it turned out to be a fortunate occurrence. The other captive there was an elderly man who gave me some information on what he heard."

The Ancient One sits up a little straighter. "I'm intrigued. Please, go on."

"He mentioned a compound where he thinks Cronus may be spending the majority of his time. Problem is, we have no idea where this so-called compound could be."

"The Garden District, perhaps?" the Ancient One suggests.

"Possibly, but Hans was convinced Cronus wasn't in the district. Though that's not to say that he wasn't mistaken. We were hoping maybe we would find him here."

The Ancient One nods and takes a sip of his tea. His brow is furrowed as if he is deep in thought. Finally, he sits the tea cup down and looks up at me. "I'm afraid I no longer know much of what goes on in my old district, and not just from being out here in this remote area."

"We saw the fence," Roman says, speaking up.

"Yes," the Ancient One replies. "It went up fairly quickly, not long after you left. They want to keep us out, or keep the remaining people in the district in."

"Do you think it's possible Cronus has his compound beyond that fence?"

The Ancient One shrugs. "It's possible, but I do not know. I wish I would have a vision and could tell you more. Unfortunately, I'm just as much in the dark as you are at the moment."

"So, what now, Angel?" Brutus asks, looking to me.

"I guess we need to keep searching," I tell him.

* * *

The study session with Riley is awkward now that his feelings for me are out in the open. I can barely concentrate as I remember how jealous Angel used to get. Wonder how he'd feel if he saw me here, sitting on the couch next to him.

"Buffy, does that make sense?"

I snap out of my reverie and turn to him. "What?"

"I was asking you if that makes sense."

"Oh, yeah. I get it."

"You seem a little…distracted."

"Well, I'm a mom. I'm always feeling distracted." I glance at the clock, realizing the time. "In fact, I should probably get Liam ready for bed."

"I can wait if you want and we can pick up where we left off."

"No, because then I'm going to go patrol."

"You want some company?"

"No thanks. Go on home. You've done enough for a Saturday night. I'll do fine on the test, don't worry."

Riley seems to get the hint and stands up. "Well, alright then. I guess I'll see you in class on Monday."

"Yeah. Thanks for helping me study."

"You're welcome. Anytime."

I see Riley to the door, say goodnight, and breathe a sigh of relief when I finally close the door behind him.

* * *

"Alright, Liam, what'll it be tonight? Scooby Doo or Spiderman?" I hold the two sets of pajamas out for Liam to decide.

Liam grabs hold of the Spiderman pajamas and squeals, nearly giddy with excitement. Though I think honestly it's just the color red he loves.

"Okay, Spiderman it is." I put away Scooby for another night and help Liam into his pajama pants. As I do, I notice his pants are getting shorter, which means I'm going to have to make yet another trip to the children's consignment store. Liam outgrows his clothes almost has soon as I buy them these days.

The pajama top, thankfully, still fits. And it has snap buttons which is a plus. I struggle enough with getting a shirt over his head in the mornings.

Once Liam is dressed, I put him on my bed. He burrows his head into the pillows, which always makes me want to tickle him. So I do, and Liam's peals of laughter fill the room. Then, we began our nightly ritual: Three bedtime stories.

The first story is one about farm animals. Liam laughs when I make the animal noises.

"Gordo!" Liam says, pointing to the picture in the book when we get to the pig.

"Yeah, it's a pig just like Mr. Gordo!"

" _Gordo_!" Liam insists.

"Okay, you're right, I guess it _is_ Mr. Gordo. I had no idea he was in this book! Wonder if he'll get a movie deal next. He could give Babe a run for his money."

The joke, of course, goes right over Liam's head. So I make piggy noises instead, and he rolls with laughter.

Like clockwork, Liam falls asleep in the middle of the third story, and I put the book aside to read again tomorrow.

Now comes the hard part.

I kiss Liam and place him in his crib. "Goodnight, sweet Liam."

After watching him for a couple of minutes to make sure he's really asleep, I tiptoe to the closet and reach up on the shelf, pulling out a stake. I keep my weapons on the shelf so that Liam doesn't get into them. A few moments later, I turn off the light, tell Mom I'm gone, and I'm out the door.

I now understand why there were very few slayers who were mothers. Of course, many died young, so that's part of the problem. But I think the real reason is that it's hard to leave your child behind, especially if you can't be positive you'll come back. Unexpected things happen in life. A slayer never leaves for a patrol planning to die.

But sometimes you do die.

And sometimes you get sucked into a portal to another dimension.

But I don't intend to die tonight, or get lost in another world. I have a lot to live for. My little boy needs me.

And when Angel returns, I plan to be around for it.


	31. The Key, pt 1

**A/N:** In case you missed the title of this chapter, Glory will finally make her appearance in the story. Because everything was just so long when I finished writing it, I've broken up the Key chapters into several parts. There are some things about the Glory storyline that I changed up a bit. Other things I kept the same. Some dialogue was borrowed from the show to keep up with what was happening, though I've altered most of the scenes to include Liam.

And now, on to the story…

 **CHAPTER 31 - THE KEY, PT 1**

The past couple of nights, patrol has been pretty easy as things have been relatively quiet. This worries me. It's usually when it's quiet that something big is about to happen. And it's May. Yep, just about time for the ole hellmouth to start acting up.

There's several abandoned factories downtown, and I decide to patrol there to see what's up. It's seedy places like these where vampires and other big bads usually hang around, planning the next evil in Sunnydale.

Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the small flashlight I keep handy and start exploring one of them. I can't explain it, but I get a sense that something about this place is a little…off. This feeling of mine is confirmed when I come across a large, gaping hole in the wall, along with a twisted steel door that had been ripped off.

"Great," I mutter under my breath. Only someone with incredible strength could have done this.

I walk through the gaping hole and down a darkened hallway. My slayer sense is tingling right now. I know I'm getting warm.

Before I reach the end of the hallway, I hear voices. One is clearly a female voice. The other voice doesn't sound human. I turn my flashlight off and move closer, then peek around the corner to see what's going on.

Several candles, as well as light from the streetlamp outside illuminate the large open space. And by the window, I see the woman. She's tall and blonde, wearing her curly hair down and red high heels, which match her short red dress. The outfit, however, seems a bit out of place for an abandoned factory.

The woman paces back and forth, and she doesn't look too happy.

"It's been over a year! Over a year on this wild goose chase and I still haven't found my key!"

"Not to worry, Glorificus. We will find your key."

The voice comes from a demon, which I recognize as a Lei-Ach demon. I've never encountered one before, but I remember coming across their picture in a book one time. They're much uglier in person.

"Yeah, well you better try a little harder!" The woman grabs a chair and throws it against the wall.

"We know it's in Sunnydale now," says another Lei-Ach demon. "It's under the slayer's protection."

I shake my head, wondering if I heard the demon right. This is news to me.

The woman, Glorificus, walks over to the demon and leans down so that she's at eye level with him. "Then why don't you get off your ass and go find me the slayer! I've wasted enough time thanks to those monks! I don't need to waste anymore!"

I move forward and step into the light. "Well, looks like this is your lucky day. You want me? Here I am."

At the sound of my intrusion, she immediately whips around and stares at me, looking me up and down. Then she smiles. "Well, well, it _is_ my lucky day. Just who I wanted to see."

"Who the hell are you, and what do you want from me?"

"I'm Glory, and you must be Buffy. I have to say, I thought you'd be a lot bigger. Are you really as strong as they say you are?"

"Want to find out?"

Glory laughs. "Relax. I just want something from you, and then I'll be on my merry way."

"And that would be…?"

"Oh don't play dumb with me, little girl!" she snaps. "You know exactly what I want." She steps closer, close enough to smell the perfume on her. "I want my key!"

"Your…key?"

"Yes, my key! It belongs to me and I want it back! So kindly give it to me!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I don't anything about a…"

 _The key! The key! You must protect the key!_

The memory of the monk at the hospital comes back to me. Couldn't be they're talking about the same thing…could they?

"I don't know what you're talking about," I tell her.

The expression on Glory's face turns to one of rage, and before I can react, Glory is _picking me up_ and throwing me across the room. I land against a cement wall with my back taking the brunt of the impact.

"Now you _listen_ to me, you little slayer! I want my key! And I want it now!"

I may be down, but I'm not out. And I'm certainly not backing down from a grown woman who is acting like a petulant child. Standing to my feet, I charge toward her.

We begin to fight, and I realize she's a lot stronger than I thought. Fortunately I'm strong too, and I knock her down to the ground after busting her lip wide open.

Glory looks up at me, her legs sprawled in a very unladylike manner with her short dress, and wipes the smear of blood from her lip. "Wow, I guess you slayers _are_ strong. Not strong enough though."

She's back on her feet in an instant and charging for me again. I attempt to hit her again, but Glory suddenly wraps her hands around my neck and begins to choke me.

"YOU GIVE ME MY KEY! OR I'LL KILL YOU!"

Frantically, I gasp for air as I try to pry her fingers away from my neck with no luck.

"Glorifucus! You must stop!" I hear one of the Lei-achs saying to her. "You cannot kill the slayer!"

I can't believe a demon is actually coming to my aid.

"Why not?" Glory asks, staring at me as she continues to choke me.

"Because we need the slayer to lead us to the key!"

Glory frowns. "Oh. Right."

With that, Glory lets me go. I fall to the ground and try to catch my breath.

"Don't think I'm letting you off that easy," she says. "I want my key, and you'll bring it to me. And if you don't, prepare to suffer the consequences."

Deciding not to pursue further fight with this woman, considering as how I almost had another brush with death, I rise to my feet and get the hell out of there.

* * *

The next morning, I meet with the group at the magic shop and relay the details of my encounter with the bitch named Glory.

"Are you ready for the story to get even weirder? I should have seen this coming."

The line on Giles' forehead deepens. "Did you have a dream about this encounter?"

"No, but something weird did happen. Xander, you remember that encounter we had with the monk at the hospital? The one who we thought was a little off his rocker?"

"Yeah, how could I forget him?"

"I don't think he was so crazy after all."

Giles straightens his glasses. "I'm sorry, let's go back to this monk. When was this?"

"Giles, I never told you about this, because at the time, it seemed so insignificant. But now looking back…"

"Tell me."

"It was the day I brought Liam home from the hospital. I was in the lobby waiting for my mom and Xander. All of sudden, this monk stumbles into the lobby. He saw me right away and ran over to me, going on and on about some key that I had to keep safe."

"What else did the monk say?"

"Nothing. He passed out then. Now that I think about it, I think he was bleeding. He was in really bad shape. I just chalked it up to some monk who went a little bit off the deep end. But now this Glory chick is going on about a key too."

Giles stands up and begins to pace the length of the shop. "This is very odd indeed."

"Giles, what do you think it means? What the heck is this key that everyone is talking about?"

Giles stops his pacing and frowns. "I'm not sure yet."

"You don't think it has anything to do with Liam, do you?"

"Probably not. The timing could just be coincidental."

"I have an idea," Willow says as she pulls her laptop out of her bag. "Maybe we should start with the monk. I say we find out who he is."

"Buffy, have you seen this monk anywhere else?"

"No, just that one time. I don't expect to find him alive. Like I said, he looked to be in pretty bad shape at the hospital."

Without a name for the monk, it seemed as if we'd hit a dead end, but minutes later, Willow and her mad hacker skills had managed to pull up some information.

"What does it say?" Giles asks.

"Actually, he's not dead."

"Well that's good! Maybe I should pay this monk a visit."

Willow looks up from her laptop and frowns. "Well, you can, but I don't know how much good it'll do you."

"Why? Where is he?"

"He's in a mental hospital."

* * *

Taking my chances, I decide to pay the monk a visit. Willow tags along as we make the thirty minute drive to the mental hospital just outside of town.

"I really hope this monk will give me answers."

"I hope so too, Buffy. Oh, there it is."

Willow points up ahead to a white building coming into view. I make the turn and circle around the parking lot a few times before a spot opens up.

"Sure seem to be a lot of people here," Willow says.

"Maybe it's visiting day. Come on, let's go."

The lobby inside is a bit chaotic when Willow and I arrive. In front of us, two orderlies take away a babbling man as his family waves goodbye. It takes me a while to make it to the front desk as the lobby is jam-packed with people.

"Can I help you?" asks the lady behind the counter, who seems none too thrilled to have two more people to deal with.

"Hi, we were hoping we could visit a patient here?"

"Patient's name?"

"Alfred Novak."

The receptionist punches a few keys on her keyboard, then frowns slightly before looking back at us. "I'm sorry, that patient is not allowed visitors."

"Please! You have to let me see him! It's very important!"

"Are you family?"

"No, but it's very important that I talk to him."

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I can't allow you to see him."

Okay, this calls for a little improvising.

I lean closer against the counter and put on my best fake tears act. "Please, you have to let me see him. My little boy is very sick."

From the corner of my eye, I see Willow give me a look. She's wondering where I'm going with this.

The woman behind the counter looks up at me, sympathetic, but confused.

"He has leukemia," I continue. "He needs a bone marrow transplant, and a family member is his best shot for a donor match. I'm adopted and I don't know who my biological parents are. But I believe Mr. Novak has some information that can help me. Please, you have to let me see him. Just for a few minutes! It's a matter of life or death!"

The woman stares at me for a moment, apparently weighting her options. "I don't know how much help Mr. Novak will be to you, but…" She reaches for a clipboard and hands it through the window. "I'll allow you to see him. You and your friend need to sign in here."

"Thank you." I hastily sign the clipboard, feeling relieved that she bought my fabricated story. Although truth be told, it very well could be a matter of life or death.

After Willow signs in and we hand the clipboard back to her, she gives us two visitor tags. "Mr. Novak is in room 317. Wear the visitor tags at all times once you pass beyond this point and return them before you leave."

Willow and I clip on our visitor badges. The receptionist nods to the door, indicating we can go, then turns to help the next person in line.

"Where'd that come from?" Willow asks as soon as we pass through the double doors.

"I'm home a lot during the day. I've been watching a lot of soap operas."

* * *

We take the elevator up to the third floor and a nurse shows us to Novak's room.

"He can talk right?" I ask her. "I mean, he's not like a vegetable, is he?"

The nurse shakes her head. "Yes, he can talk, and no, he's not bedridden. Although I must warn you that he doesn't always make a lot of sense, and he gets easily agitated."

"How long has he been like this?" Willow asks.

"About a year and half. Well, here we are." The nurse stops in front of a door and opens it, allowing us in. "Mr. Novak, I have some visitors for you."

In the room, a man in a blue hospital robe paces the length of the small room.

"Call me if you need me," the nurse says before leaving.

"Is that the monk?" Willow asks, whispering.

"Yeah. That's definitely him." Carefully, I approach the man. "Mr. Novak, do you remember me?"

He stops his frantic pacing and slowly turns around to look at me. When he sees me, his eyes widen, and he rushes over to me in a panic and grabs my shoulders. "Slayer! The key! You must protect the key!"

"I know! But I don't know what the key is! I need your help!"

The monk loosens his grip on my shoulders and begins to mumble. "The key. You have to keep the key safe."

"But we don't know what the key is," Willow says.

He begins to pace again.

"Mr. Novak, I need you to help me." I step in front of the monk, halting his movement and reach for his arm. "Mr. Novak, I need you to focus. Where is the key?"

"The key. You have it. You have the key."

"No, I don't have it."

"You have it. We made it for you."

The monk begins his pacing again, mumbling something about the key over and over.

I shoot Willow an exasperated look. "What now?"

"I have an idea." Reaching into her bag, Willow pulls out a blue crystal. She moves closer to the monk and places it into his palm. "Mr. Novak, my name is Willow. I'm Buffy's friend. And we need your help."

The monk stares at the crystal, mesmerized by it as if he were a child.

"What is that?" I ask her.

"It's just to calm him down and help him concentrate," she says. "Mr. Novak, why don't you sit down?"

Willow leads him over to the chair in the corner of the room. Like an obedient child, he follows her order.

Willow takes the seat beside him. "Now Mr. Novak, we need your help. We can't find the key. Can you help us?"

The monk nods.

"Good. Now, can you tell us what it looks like?"

"The key. We gave it to you." The monk looks up at me. "You have to keep it safe."

"I know, and I will, but I need to know where you put it. I may have it, but I don't know where it is."

"I gave the key to you. You have to keep her safe!"

"Keep _who_ safe?"

"The key! The key!" the monk insists.

"I don't think you're going to get anywhere with him, Buffy," Willow says as she shakes her head.

"Willow, I can't give up. I'm so close! I have to find out what the key is before Glory finds it."

At the mention of Glory's name, the monk shoots up from his chair and begins shouting hysterically.

"GLORY IS EVIL! GLORY IS EVIL!"

The nurse and two orderlies rush into the room at the sound of Novak's outburst.

"KEEP THE KEY AWAY FROM GLORY! YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE KEY AWAY FROM GLORY!"

"I think you need to go now!" the nurse shouts at us as the orderlies fight to restrain Novak.

"KEEP THE KEY SAFE! KEEP THE KEY SAFE!"

Another hospital staffer rushes into the room. He ushers us out of the room and slams the door behind us. From inside the room, Novak still screams.

I glance at Willow, who stares at the closed door with a stunned expression on her face. "Well, I guess that was a dead end."

"Yeah, and he has my crystal too."


	32. The Key, pt 2

**CHAPTER 32 – THE KEY, PT 2**

In the kitchen the next morning, I find Dawn pouring cereal into four separate bowls. Liam sits in his highchair, intrigued with what Dawn is doing, while eating scattered Cheerios from his tray. Meanwhile, Mom is at the stove preparing a real breakfast.

"Dawn, how many bowls of cereal are you going to have?"

"Oh these aren't for eating. I'm just looking for the toy for Liam."

I pick up the box to see what sort of prize is inside. It looks like some sort of spinning top toy with a character from one of Liam's favorite cartoons. "Okay, it looks safe. He can play with it. But Auntie Dawn is going to put _all_ of this cereal back in the box once she finds it."

Mom glances at me and grins. "I couldn't be more prouder of you. My daughter talks like a mother now."

I smile back at her. "Well you rub off on me."

"Dawn, listen to your sister."

"I'm going to put it back! Jeez!"

I roll my eyes at her as I grab some milk from the fridge.

"Oh, here it is!" Dawn says as the toy falls into the cereal bowl. Dawn quickly unwraps the toy and hands it to Liam. Liam takes it and stares at it, but seems confused at what to do with it.

"Here, let me show you," Dawn says, taking the toy back. "You got to spin it. See? Watch." Dawn spins the toy around on Liam's tray. He cheers in delight and grabs it mid-spin.

"Okay, eggs are ready," Mom says as she turns around, holding two plates. She wavers a little, and something about the look on face doesn't sit right with me.

"Mom, are you okay?"

"I don't know. I just feel a little dizzy all of a sudden."

"Mom, you should sit down!" Dawn says, hopping up to take the plates from her.

"Let me get you some water," I say to her as I jump up to get a glass.

Mom takes a seat at the barstool. I hold out the glass of water for her, but Mom just stares at Dawn with a confused expression on her face. "Who…who are you?"

Before anyone can react, Mom falls off the chair and onto the floor. Dawn drops the plates of eggs, sending eggs and broken ceramic flying. Liam begins to wail.

"Mom!" I kneel down on the floor beside of her, willing her to open her eyes, but she's unconscious.

"Oh my god, what's wrong with her?" Dawn yells. "She was okay five seconds ago!"

"Go call 911, Dawn! Hurry!"

Dawn nods and rushes out of the room.

"Mom?"

But she still doesn't respond.

* * *

In the hospital's waiting room, Liam rests his head in my lap. I can tell from the way his breathing has evened out that he is finally asleep. I run my fingers through his dark, silky hair, trying to calm myself down. Beside me, Dawn sits, uncharacteristically quiet for a change. She's worried about Mom too.

The double doors opens and Giles runs in. When he sees me, he rushes over to us.

"Buffy, I got here as soon as could. How's your mother?"

"She's okay now. They don't know why she collapsed though. They're still running tests. It could be a while."

"Has Joyce ever fainted before?"

"No, I don't think so. She's usually very healthy."

Liam shifts slightly, but doesn't wake up. Giles glances down at him. "Do you want me to take Liam home? I could watch over him until you get back."

"Thanks, but that's okay. He just fell asleep actually, and if I move, he might wake up. And I need him to be quiet right now so I can think. Giles, I'm so worried. What if it's something serious?"

"Let's not jump to conclusions. It could have been just a dizzy spell or low blood sugar."

"She was fine this morning," Dawn says, almost in a whisper. "And all of a sudden, she wasn't. She wasn't even herself. For a moment, it was like she didn't even recognize me."

Giles frowns. "What do you mean?"

"She looked at me and said, 'Who are you'?"

"She was probably just confused, Dawnie. Kind of like how you are when you first wake up."

"I just hope she's okay."

"Me too."

* * *

The wait is long. Dawn is getting restless, but refuses to go anywhere until she sees Mom. Not that I blame her. I'm anxious to see her myself.

Reaching into my purse, I fish out a handful of quarters and hand them to Dawn. "Dawn, why don't you go find a vending machine? You must be starving since you didn't have breakfast."

"I'm not hungry."

"Well go get something anyway."

Dawn relents and takes the change, then goes off in search of a vending machine.

Once she's out of earshot, Giles looks to me with a concerned expression. "So, I take it that the meeting with the monk didn't yield any helpful information?"

"It was a bust. I don't know what happened to that monk, but when I mentioned Glory, he went berserk."

"What did he say?"

"That she was evil, which we already suspected, and that I had to protect the key, but he couldn't give me any clue as to what that is. He just kept repeating the same things over and over. Although, maybe the meeting wasn't a complete bust. I still don't know what the key is, but he said they 'made it for me'. Whatever that means. It's like he and monk buddies gave me a key to keep safe, only I have no clue what that is."

"Well, I suppose we'll just have to keep researching. In the meantime though, I'll see what I can find out about Glory."

"How? You've exhausted all of your books."

Giles sighs, then turns to look at me. "I contacted the Council."

"You _what_?"

"Buffy, I don't know what or who she is. If the Council can help, we should let them."

I shrug. "You're right. But I still don't like those guys."

"Likewise."

Dawn, with a handful of chips and chocolate bars, comes around the corner and drops them all in the chair. "I got something for you too."

"Thanks, Dawnie."

"What were you two talking about?" Dawn asks as she tears the wrapper of a Snickers bar with her teeth.

"Nothing important."

"Was it about Mom?"

"No, Dawn."

"What it about Slayer stuff?"

"Dawn."

"I just want to know! You never tell me stuff!"

"Because you don't need to know. Just sit down and eat your Snickers."

Dawn, sullen-looking now, sits down in her seat and takes an angry bite out of her chocolate.

"Giles, you don't have to stay. I know you're busy and need to get back to the shop. Besides, Willow will be here as soon as she finishes up with her final exam."

"I'm not busy at all. There's nothing more important that I need to do than to make sure you three are alright. Besides, Anya was glad to watch over the shop for me."

"What are you doing here, little girl?"

I look over to see a scruffy looking man suddenly standing over my sister.

"Hey, that's my sister!"

The man ignores me, but still continues to stare at Dawn. "I know you. Curds and whey. I know what you are. You…don't…belong…here."

At the risk of waking Liam, I move him aside to get up to stand between the strange man and my sister. I expect to find him reeking of alcohol, but am surprised when I don't detect any on his breath. "I think you need to go."

"Sorry about that, miss," says one of two orderlies coming to my aid. "He got away from us. Come on, Henry, time to go upstairs now."

"You okay, Dawnie?"

Dawn nods. "What's wrong with that guy?"

"He's just a little mentally unstable is all. Seems to be a lot of that lately."

"Mom!" Dawn hops out of her chair and runs over to hug her.

"Mom, are you okay?" I ask as I move closer to hug her too.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry to put you girls through this."

"What did the doctor say?"

"To get plenty of rest. They'll know more later. But for now, I'm done with all my tests, so you can take this pincushion home."

"That sounds like a great idea," I say to her.

* * *

At home, Mom is settled on the couch with a cup of tea. Willow, Dawn, Liam, and myself all fuss over her, trying to make her as comfortable as possible.

"Liam, give this to Grandma," I tell Liam as I hand him the remote. Liam walks over to Mom and hands it to her.

"Thank you, Liam!" Mom leans over and kisses Liam's cheek.

"Here, Mom," Dawn says as she wraps Mom up in a blanket.

"Thank you, Dawn."

"Are you feeling better?" she asks.

"Yes, I'm feeling much better already!"

"Mom, can we get you anything else?" I ask her.

Mom thinks for a moment and then shakes her head. "No, I think I've got everything I could possibly need."

"What abouta crossword?" Willow asks. "It'll keep the boredom at bay."

"Oh, no thanks, Willow."

"I like chicken fingers with mustard when I'm sick," Dawn says.

"I know you do, sweetie. I can make us some later."

"Oh no, you're sitting right here on this couch today!" I tell her.

"I feel silly lying here like a lump!"

"You could make a game out of it. A very quiet game, about being a lump."

Liam laughs, though I think he just finds the word 'lump' funny.

"I feel fine. Honestly. I appreciate all of the concern, but really, don't worry about me. I'm sure it's nothing serious."

* * *

After putting Liam down for the night, I go down the hall to check on Mom. Her door is open and Dawn is sitting on the bed, reading a story to her aloud. They have this two-person book club thing that I've never been a part of, and it makes me a little jealous sometimes.

"Hey, Buffy," Mom says when she sees me, interrupting Dawn.

"Hey. I just put Liam down for the night and I thought I'd check on you before I went to patrol. Are you okay?"

"Other than a little headache, I'm fine. Dawn's just reading the next chapter of our book. The text hurts my eyes."

"I'm sorry. Well is there anything you need before I go?"

Mom stares at me for a moment and nods. "Actually, Buffy, I need to talk to you. To both of you," she adds, looking at Dawn.

"Did you hear back from the doctor about your tests?" Dawn asks.

"Actually, the doctor talked to me before I left the hospital. I just didn't want to say anything to you earlier to worry you."

"Well now I'm worried!" Dawn says.

"Me too," I say.

Mom pats the space beside her on the bed. "Come here, sit down."

I go around to the other side of the bed and sit down. Actually, I half recline on all of the pillows Mom keeps on her bed, and for a moment, it feels like old times when I was little and would snuggle up against her in bed. Except that this time, I'm worried as hell. "Mom, what's wrong?"

Dawn looks at Mom with an alarmed expression on her face. "Is it something bad?"

Mom sits up a little and motions for Dawn to come a little closer, which she does. "Listen girls, I didn't want to say anything earlier at the hospital. But you're going to have to know eventually, so I should probably go ahead and tell you now. The good news is that they found out why I fainted. The bad news is…it's a tumor in my brain."

"A _what_?"

"A _tumor_?" Dawn asks, her voice sounding just as shocked as mine. "Is that cancer?"

"They don't know yet," Mom says.

I don't know how she can speak so calmly. If the situation were reversed, I'd be panicking right about now.

"They have to do a biopsy first," Mom continues. "Most likely, it's a benign tumor, which would be good, but we still have to prepare for the worse. In any case, I'll need surgery to remove it. Depending on the results of the biopsy will determine what course of treatment I may or may not need after that."

"Oh, Mom!" Dawn throws herself into Mom's arms, and I can hear her sobbing into her shoulder.

"When do you do the biopsy?"

"The doctor wants me to do it soon."

"Will you have to stay overnight at the hospital?" Dawn asks as she moves away from Mom, wiping the tear stains from her cheeks.

"Yes, but just overnight for observation afterward. Then when the doctor gets the results from that, they'll schedule the surgery. Listen girls, I know this is very upsetting to hear, but I'm going to need your help around here.

"Don't worry, Mom," I tell her. "We can help out with anything you need."

"Good, I'm counting on you both. Dawn, I'm going to need you to help your sister with the chores. Can you do that?"

Dawn nods. "Of course."

"And Buffy?" She looks to me. "I'm going to need your help with the bigger stuff. Grocery shopping, bills, things like that. You know where I keep my checkbook, right?"

"Yes, and don't worry. I'll take care of it."

"Come here, girls." Mom holds her arms open and Dawn and I both lean forward to hug her. "I'm so glad I have you two. I don't know what I do without either of you." She kisses Dawn on the cheek, then me.

"Don't worry too much right now. We'll know more later this week. Let's cross that bridge when we get to it."

Not worry? Not happening.

* * *

Patrol is hard tonight. With my thoughts on my mother, I find it a little hard to stay focused. The vampire I'm fighting takes advantage of this and hooks his right fist into my face, knocking me off my balance enough to make me fall back.

I stare up at the big, burly vampire who's grinning at me like a child that found a new toy to play with.

"Not so tough, are you little slayer?"

Reaching for the stake I had dropped on the ground, I'm ready for the vamp when he comes at me again. He knows I'm aiming for his chest, so he blocks my move. Therefore, I kick him in the groin with my knee while still lying on the ground. It gives me time enough to wiggle away from his grasp and get back on my feet.

The vampire, now furious at me, charges at me again. This time, I manage to kick him back, now knocking him off balance. With that small window, I bury the stake into his chest and watch him turn to dust.

I breathe a sigh of relief. I'm tired and exhausted from fighting. I think I'm ready to go home. Unfortunately my evening isn't over yet. When I turn around, I see Glory standing just a few feet away from me.

"Nice moves. He almost had you there, but I see you recover quick."

When I start to move, Glory quickly moves in front of me. "You haven't brought me my key yet."

"Because I told you, I don't have it."

"You're lying to me. If you didn't want me to have it, that's exactly what you would say. But I know that those monks left it in your protection. So don't try to lie to me and say you don't have it."

"You're right. They did give it to me. But unfortunately, I don't have it anymore. So sorry, I can't help you."

"You liar!" Glory attempts to hit me in the face, but I sidestep her fist and stab her in the shoulder with my stake. I know she's not a vampire, but it's the only weapon I have on me and I'm going to use it.

Glory looks down at her shoulder, then at me. She grabs the stake from my hand, snaps it into two, and tosses it to the ground. "Well now you've done it," she says to me.

Apparently, my actions have royally pissed her off.

Before I know it, we're engaged in an all-out brawl. Glory comes back and knocks me to the ground. We roll around a few times, each trying to get the upper hand. Glory has an exceptionally tight grip on me, making it hard for me to wiggle free. When one of her long strands of hair brushes against my hand, I yank on it, pulling her head back and manage to get free from her grip.

Standing up, I punch her in the face. She in turn, gets on her feet and grabs my arms. Picking me up, she slams me against a tree repeatedly until I feel the bark start to tear into my shirt.

"This is not over, Slayer!" she hisses at me.

Finally, she loosens her vise grip on me and shoves me aside.

"You haven't seen the last of me!" she warns as she takes off.

* * *

After my encounter with Glory, all I want to do is go home, kiss my little boy, and go to bed. Finally after what seems like an extremely long walk home, my house comes into view.

Liam's not in my room when I make it upstairs. This is not alarming. Liam often wakes up when I'm gone and my mom or sister have to tend to him. I'm hoping Dawn picked up the slack since Mom isn't feeling well.

I find him in Dawn's room. He's cuddled up next to my sister with his new Elmo pajamas peeking out from underneath her flowery comforter. He's fast asleep and clutching Mr. Gordo tightly, who looks a little worse for wear since Liam laid claim to him.

I kneel down beside him and kiss Liam goodnight on the forehead. He twitches, but doesn't awake. I don't want to risk moving him, and he and my sister look so comfy anyway.

"Goodnight, baby," I whisper, almost wishing I could get a picture of this moment.

On my way out the door, I hear Dawn stir, and she gazes up at me with sleepy eyes.

"Buffy?"

"I'm sorry, Dawnie." I keep my voice low as to not wake Liam. "I didn't mean to wake you. I was just checking on Liam."

"He woke up. Laying down with him was the only way I could get him back to sleep."

"Do you mind him sleeping in here with you? I don't want to pick him up and wake him."

"No, I don't mind."

"Thanks, Dawnie. If he wakes up again, just bring him to my room."

"Okay."

"Goodnight." I'm about to leave when Dawn whispers my name again.

"Yeah?"

"I'm really worried about Mom. Do you think she's going to be okay?"

I sit down on her bed and shrug. "I don't know. I hope so. Mom doesn't seem to be too worried right now, so maybe we shouldn't either."

"Easier said than done."

"I know. Listen, let's not worry until we have to. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Dawn nods. "Okay."

I lean down and hug my sister, and Dawn, surprisingly, doesn't object and hugs me back. Sisterly affection like this is rare for us, since we fight all the time, but Mom's hospital scare today sort of put things in prospective.

"'Night, Dawnie."

"Goodnight, Buffy."


	33. The Key, pt 3

**CHAPTER 33 - THE KEY PT 3**

 _Sesame Street_ keeps Liam occupied while I prepare a hot breakfast for Mom. I'm actually quite proud of myself. French toast, eggs, bacon, and I didn't even burn anything.

I set the plate along with a glass of orange juice and rose in a vase for decoration on the tray. When I turn my back for one moment to put the orange juice back in the fridge, I hear Dawn's footsteps.

"Dawn, touch nothing!"

"Who died and made you the Iron Chef?" She ignores my request and begins to fiddle with the rose.

"Look, Mom's sick and I made her a nice non-instant breakfast for once. And I don't need you…"

Dawn knocks over the vase onto the tray. "Oops!"

"…doing that."

Behind Dawn, Mom enters the kitchen in her bathrobe, seemingly in a good mood despite the grim news she got from the doctor yesterday. "Oh! Check out the "Pamper Mom" platter. You two did all this?"

"Oh, Buffy helped."

I shoot daggers at Dawn. "I did more than 'help'! I _made_ it!"

"Well it's a very lovely gesture."

"We knew you were feeling less-than-great so…"

"Well I'm feeling much better this morning. The headache from last night has seemed to die down to a dull roar. They come and go."

"Mom, how long have you been having these headaches?"

Mom frowns. "For a while I suppose. I just didn't think it was anything serious until I fainted. Listen, I know you're concerned, but don't be. I'm still the mom. Which means I get to worry about you two. Which is a good thing because you're a vampire slayer. And you…" Mom pulls Dawn into her lap. "you're my little punkin' belly!"

Dawn's cheeks turn red. "Oh, Mom! That's like my kid name!"

"So I can't be retro?"

Liam, having just realized Mom was up, runs into the kitchen to greet her.

Dawn gets off of Mom's lap and Mom replaces her with Liam. "Now this guy is my little stud muffin!" Mom showers Liam with kisses to his cheek, making him laugh.

"Did you ever have any names for me?" I ask her.

Mom pauses for a moment and thinks. "No…I think you were always just Buffy."

"I got some names for ya…" Dawn says, grinning wickedly.

"Mom, you should eat your breakfast before it gets cold," I remind her. "Why don't you go settle down on the couch and I'll bring it to you?"

Mom smiles at me. "Well, breakfast in the living room sounds like a fine idea. Thank you, girls."

Dawn sticks her tongue out at me when Mom isn't looking, having gotten away with getting half of the credit for my hard work.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't need us to stay a little longer?" I ask Mom for probably the tenth time. It just doesn't feel right to leave her here, a place that I despise, even if it is only for a routine procedure.

"Girls, I will be fine," Mom said, reiterating what she has said before. "It's just a routine test and they're only keeping me overnight for observation. I'll be ready to come home in the morning. I'll be fine."

Liam reaches out for his grandmother, wanting to go into her arms. I place him on the bed next to her. Mom wraps her arms around him and cuddles him close.

"I have a feeling I will be better very soon," she tells us, then gives Liam a kiss on his forehead.

"Okay, I guess we better go. Liam, give Grandma a hug goodbye."

Liam hugs my mother and she kisses him again.

"Goodbye, sweet Liam. I'll see you in the morning."

Scooping Liam into my arms, I watch as Dawn and my mother hug goodbye. Dawn has always had a special relationship with Mom. I guess with her being the baby and all. But Dawn holds back the tears and tries to put on a brave face.

"See you in the morning," she says in a small voice.

"Don't you read ahead now," Mom says, referring to their book.

"I won't, but you better hurry up and get well so we can finish it."

Mom nods. "I'll do my best. Buffy?"

"Yeah."

"You're in charge. You'll come pick me up in the morning?"

"Of course. Bye, Mom." I lean forward, hugging her with one arm while I hold Liam in the other. "And good luck."

"I don't need luck. I'll be just fine."

I pray she's right.

* * *

When we get home after dropping Mom off, I'm exhausted. The constant worrying about her has taken a toll on me. But for Liam and Dawn's sake, I try not to let it show.

"Liam, wanna watch cartoons?" Dawn asks. I sometimes think she uses Liam as an excuse because she still likes to watch cartoons herself.

Liam walks over to the couch where Dawn is looking underneath the cushions.

"Soon as I find the remote," she says.

There's a knock on the door, followed by the doorbell ringing.

Dawn stands on the couch and peeks out the window. "I don't know who that is."

I peek out the window next to Dawn.

Glory.

"I know her, and we're not letting her in."

The doorbell rings a few more times, and the sound of the loud chime echoes throughout the living room.

"Buffy, I know you're home. I saw you looking through the window. Now let me in!"

"Dawn, take Liam please. Go upstairs. I'll deal with her."

"Buffy! Let me in or I'll bust this door open!"

Glory doesn't wait for me to open the door and instead, kicks the door open and barges into the living room.

Liam, frightened by the noise, begins to cry.

"Dawn, upstairs! _Now_!"

Dawn doesn't hesitate and picks up Liam. I wait until they're out of sight before I turn back to Glory.

"Get the hell out of my house."

"Sure, I'll gladly leave you alone…once I have my key. Now where is it?"

"Oh god, _this_ again? Look, lady, I don't know where your stupid key is!"

"Yes you do. I know you have it." Glory starts to walk around the living room. "So, this is where the Slayer lives. Personally, I need more space, but this is good for you. It's so…quaint."

Glory runs her finger along a dusty shelf before picking up a picture of Liam. "Oh, so cute. I can't even stand it."

"What part of 'Get the hell out of my house' did you not understand?"

Glory continues to search the living room, picking up random knickknacks and inspecting them. "Oh I'm not going anywhere. Not until we've had a chance talk. Now, about my key. Where is it?"

"Well it seems like you're capable of busting doors open without needing a key at all. Why don't you just do that?"

Glory marches over to me, pointing at me. "Don't be smart with me! It's not that kind of key. It doesn't open a door. At least…not that kind of door."

I shrug. "Well I'm at a lost. You're going to have to help me out here. What does it look like?"

"I don't know what it looks like. It's in a different form now."

"Okay. Then why don't you tell me what this key opens? Maybe I can help you find it?"

Glory takes her attention away from the candle she just picked up off the mantle and stares at me. "I think you're lying. You don't want to help me. You're just saying what I want to hear so that I'll leave. And then when you do give me the key, you'll think you'll fool me by giving me something else, then hide the real key when I leave. No, don't think you want to help."

"But I do want you to leave. And you're wrong about the key. It's not here. Do you really think I would keep it here, the most _obvious_ place?"

My question seems to pique her interest. "You've hidden it. See, I knew you were bluffing."

Glory turns her attention back to the objects on the mantle. While her back is turned, I reach for the fireplace poker.

As soon as my hand touches the poker, Glory is suddenly right behind me.

"Buffy." She takes the poker away from me. "If I wanted to fight, you could tell by the being dead already." Glory moves away from the fireplace and makes herself at home in the armchair. "So play nice, little girl."

"What do you want?"

Glory rolls her eyes. "How many times do I have to say it? I want my damn key! Why else do you think I'd come here? See, I think you know where it is. And that's a good thing."

"I'm glad you think so."

"Well, it's the only thing keeping you alive. Now, you'll tell me where it is."

A movement near the staircase catches my eye. I realize seconds later that it's Dawn. I should have known she wouldn't stay in her room. Of course she'd come down to eavesdrop. I'd motion for her to go back upstairs, but I don't want to alert Glory of her presence.

"Do you really think I'd just give it to you after going through such great lengths to hide it?"

Dawn moves down another step, but she steps on the one that creaks, causing Glory to snatch her head back and stare at her. "Kid!"

Dawn attempts to go back up the steps, but Glory stands up and faces her down. "Come here a sec."

"Leave her out of this," I warn Glory.

Dawn remains frozen on the step.

"Kid, I'm not asking twice! Come _here_!"

Dawn seems hesitant but steps closer.

"This is between you and me."

Glory glares at me. "No. This is between me and my key. You just happen to be the thing in the way."

Dawn moves closer until she's standing right in front of her. I feel confident Glory will not harm me, but Dawn is another story.

"And you are just the darlin'-est thing I ever did see in my life!" Glory says to Dawn in a babyish tone. "What's your name, honey?"

"Dawn," she replies in a small, shaky voice.

"Dawn? Did you know your sister took my key? And she won't give it back! I bet you know where she put it, don't you?"

"She doesn't know anything."

Dawn looks at me, a hint of annoyance on her face. "I know some stuff."

"I bet she takes your stuff all the time without asking, doesn't she? Where's my key, Dawn?"

"Go upstairs, Dawn."

"You're always talking about stuff I'm not supposed to hear! I'm going to figure it out, you know!"

Dawn turns away and storms back up the stairs.

Glory looks at me, a grin on her face. "Ooh, I like her. She's sassy. And I'll kill her. And I'll kill your mother, and I'll kill your precious little boy. I'll kill all of your little friends…and I'll make you watch when I do. Just give me the key. You either have it or you know where to find it."

Glory turns around, and I'm grateful to see that she looks to be heading toward the door. "Obviously, this is a one-time-only deal. Next time we meet, someone you love dies. You know you can't take me. You know you can't stop me."

She drops the poker in her hand on the floor and turns to leave, and I breathe a sigh of relief. That was close.

Too close.

Behind me, I hear Dawn tiptoeing back down the stairs. "Is it okay for us to come down now?"

Looking behind me, I see Dawn holding Liam on the stairs.

"Yeah, she's gone. What were you thinking, Dawn? I told you to go upstairs and stay upstairs!"

"I wanted to know what was happening!"

"Yeah, well next time, don't!" I take Liam from her, who still has tear stains on his cheeks. I kiss them away and hug him tight.

"Who was that lady?" Dawn asks.

"No one you need to be concerned about."

"See? You never tell me anything!"

Dawn storms upstairs and moments later, I hear her bedroom door slam.

I sigh, then glance over my shoulder. The door is smashed and lying on the floor. Liam stares at the open doorway wide-eyed. "Yeah, guess we need to get that fixed before Grandma comes home, huh?"

* * *

Spike arrives while Xander is fixing the door. He takes one look at the door and then looks at me. "What the bloody hell happened?"

"I need you stay here with Dawn and Liam," I say to him, ignoring his question.

"Let me guess…Glory?"

I nod. Even though I haven't told Spike much about what's going on, not a lot gets past him. "Look, can you stay here with them? I need to go see Giles."

"Where's Joyce?"

"She's at the hospital."

"What? Is she okay?"

"She's having a procedure done. She's fine. Can you stay or not? You're the only one strong enough to protect them."

Spike nods. "Sure, I'd be happy to babysit Niblet and Little Peaches. Do I get paid?"

I roll my eyes and dig into my pocket for some cash. "Here, but that's all I have on me."

Spike shrugs and puts the twenty in his pocket. "This'll do."

"Xander, when you get done with that door…"

"I'll meet you there."

"Hey, where are you going?" Dawn asks as she sees me pick up my keys.

"I'm going to talk to Giles. Spike is going to stay here with you and Liam for a while."

"And I've got dibs on the telly," Spike says, making himself at home on the couch. "Where's the bloody remote?"

"Can I go with you, Buffy?"

"Well I'll try not to be offended, Niblet," Spike mutters.

"No, you're staying here with Spike."

"You're going to talk to Giles about slayer stuff, aren't you?"

"None of your concern."

"Why do you always do that? Why can't you just tell me what you guys talk about? I know something's going on."

"Dawn, I don't have time for this."

On the floor, Liam is occupied playing with his little people. I kiss him on his forehead. "Mommy's got to go, Liam. I'll be back to kiss you goodnight, alright?"

Liam continues to play, barely noticing I'm leaving.

"Dawn, make sure Liam gets his bath and help him get ready for bed."

Dawn glares at me.

"Please."

Dawn rolls her eyes. "Fine."

"Oh, and Spike?"

Spike, who had apparently found the remote, glances back at me. "What?"

"Thanks for watching them."

* * *

At the Magic Box, I relay the Glory incident with the gang and we hit the books again, hoping to uncover something we may have missed before about Glory. It's hard to concentrate though because I'm worried about my mom, worried about Liam, worried about Dawn, and all of my friends, but I have to stay focused. Glory is dangerous, and the sooner we stop her, the better.

"I just don't understand. I don't have her key! In fact, I have exactly three keys!" I reach into my pocket, grabbing my key ring. "Look, here's my house key, my car key, and the key to the Magic Box. I don't have any extra keys lying around!"

"Maybe this 'key' isn't exactly a key," Tara suggests. "I mean, it's a key in the literal sense that it must open _something_ , but maybe it doesn't look like an actual key."

"I think Tara is right," Giles says. "It could be any object. But whatever it is, it opens something."

"Well I can honestly say that I haven't acquired any strange objects in the past year and a half. Unless you count any of Liam's talking toys."

Giles stands up from the table and ponders aloud. "Perhaps you do have this key but don't realize it. Glory seems convinced that you do. As does the monk who claims he made it for you."

"Hey, guys?" Willow walks over to the table with an open book in her hand. "I think I might finally have a solution to this problem."

"That's why we call Willow the brains of the group," Xander says.

"What's your solution?" I ask her.

A slow grin spreads across Willow's face. "Why…magic of course!"

* * *

Later that night after Spike leaves and Liam is sleeping, I gather my supplies and head down to the basement for some privacy. The ritual requires meditation and deep concentration, which I know won't be easy if I have to be upstairs with Dawn.

Reaching into the bag, I pull out the magic powder and instructions from Willow.

"'Pour conjuring powder around you in a circle on the floor.' Okay." Follow the instructions, I sprinkle the powder, then bring out the incense and light it. Then as I sit crossed-leg in the circle, I close my eyes and begin to mediate.

I was just beginning to feel "in the zone" when a knock on the door breaks my concentration.

"Buffy? What are you doing?"

"Go away, Dawn!"

She opens the door anyway, and I see a sliver of yellow light along with Dawn's head poking through the door.

"Are you doing magick?"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes you are! You're such a liar! I can smell your stinky incense. Can I watch?"

"No, Dawn! I need you to stay upstairs and keep an eye on Liam."

"Liam's sleeping!"

"Just go, Dawn!"

"Fine!"

Dawn closes the door with unnecessary force and seconds later, I hear her stomp off somewhere upstairs. Even in the basement, I can't seem to get a little peace and quiet. I hate to be so short with her, but the spell won't work if she keeps interrupting me.

Eventually though, I regain my focus and begin to meditate again.

* * *

I'm not exactly sure how long I had been mediating, but I get the sense that it's been a while. My eyes suddenly snap open and I stand up, vaguely aware of what I am doing. My mind feels a bit foggy and my legs are a little crampy due to the way I had been sitting, but I shrug it off and head up the basement stairs.

I need to focus. I need to find out what the key is.

When I step into the kitchen, everything looks slightly altered. The room is darker, almost grainy, but I press on and take in my surroundings.

In the living room, my eyes focus on a photograph of my mother, Dawn, and myself. Dawn's image, however, flickers in and out. One second she's in the photograph, and the next second, she's not. Weird.

Confused, I grab another portrait of Dawn, this one with her and Liam. The same thing happens. Her image slowly fades before reappearing.

"What is going on?"

I put the picture down and head upstairs, immediately heading to Dawn's room. I'm sure now that the key has something to do with Dawn. Maybe it's Dawn who has the key and not me.

Peering inside the room, I'm surprised by what I see. It doesn't look like Dawn's room at all. In the corner of the room is Liam's child-sized yellow and blue table. A beanbag chair is in the other corner with Mr. Gordo on the floor beside it. In the center of the room, there's a crib, and Liam's sleeping in it.

In my mind, I hear my mom's voice, sounding distant as if in a dream.

" _I think this room will set up rather nicely for a nursery. What do you think?"_

"This isn't Liam's room. It never was."

Almost the second the words come out of my mouth, the room changes back to that of a teenage girl's. Dawn's room. I blink my eyes, and once again, the room changes, just like the photographs downstairs. The image changes, and Dawn's room reappears.

"Buffy? What are you doing?"

Dawn's voice seems distant as I turn around, seeing her standing in the hallway.

"Who said you could come into my room?"

As I stare at Dawn, I notice that she too is fading in and out. It's almost as if Dawn isn't supposed to be here. And then, the realization comes to me as I recall the monk's words that I forgotten.

 _You have the key._

 _We made it for you_.

 _You have to keep_ _ **her**_ _safe._

Dawn doesn't have the key. She _is_ the key. "Oh my god. It's you."

"You were expecting someone else?"

Quickly regaining focus, I try not to look so shocked. "Sorry. You just startled me is all."

"Well just so you know, I _have_ been keeping an eye on Liam. And he's still sleeping. I just went downstairs to get a glass of milk. I'm allowed to do that, right?"

"I just…came to say goodnight. And I'm sorry about earlier."

"When Mom comes home, I'm telling her you were doing magick in the house. You know how much she hates that!"

"Dawn, I…"

"Just leave me alone."

Dawn moves past me and goes into her room, closing the door in my face seconds later.


	34. The Key, pt 4

**CHAPTER 34 - THE KEY PT 4**

I give Giles a call almost immediately. He picks up the phone on the first ring.

"Did Willow's spell work?" he asks me.

"Yeah, it worked. And I know what the key is."

"Well? Don't leave me in suspense, Buffy. What is it?"

I pick up Dawn's photograph, the image steady now that the spell has worn off. "Maybe you better come over. I need to talk to you."

* * *

Giles arrives ten minutes later.

We sit out in the darkened living room and I tell Giles about the spell…and what I discovered. Once he hears everything, he sits back in his seat, reaching for the cloth in his pocket and furiously begins to wipe his glasses. "I don't know what to say."

"Yeah, tell me about it." I look up toward the stairs, hearing the faint sound of Dawn's music upstairs.

"And she has no idea?"

"No. She thinks she's my kid sister."

"Are you going to tell her?"

"How can I, Giles? She'd freak, and that's the last thing we need." Standing up, I walk over to the shelf and pick up a photograph of Dawn taken a few years ago. "I just know that I have to protect her."

Giles stands up from his chair and moves behind me. "Perhaps we should consider sending her away?"

"Where?"

"What about your father's?"

"No, not going to work. He's in Spain right now. We barely hear from him at all."

"I'm sorry."

"When he and Mom told us they were getting divorced, I remember she stayed in her room and cried for like a week. Except she didn't. She wasn't there. But it feels like she was."

"It's quiet evident all of our memories have been altered to make us believe Dawn was here all along."

I place the picture back on the shelf and turn around to face Giles. "Those monks sent her to me, Giles. They need me to take care of her. And...I want to. Maybe she's not really my sister, and yet, she is. You know? I love her like family."

"Do we tell the others?"

"No, not if we don't have to. I think it's safer for everyone if they don't know. If Glory questions them about her key, they can answer honestly. And I'll just tell Willow her spell didn't work."

Giles nods, agreeing with me. "What about your mother?"

"My mother's a different story. It doesn't feel right to keep this from her. And for some reason, I feel like she already knows something is off. Like right before she fainted, for a second she didn't recognize Dawn. I guess it could have been the tumor, but I'm not sure now. If she does sense something about Dawn isn't right, then sooner or later, Dawn's going to pick up on that."

"Then I guess there's only one solution."

"Right. Kill Glory, and fast. And then everything else, I'll just deal with it later."

* * *

I hate to bombard Mom with news this heavy as soon as she gets home, but once she's settled, I tell her everything.

Mom stares at me, unwilling or unable to comprehend what I am saying. "You mean she's not supposed to be here? But I don't understand. I remember the nurse placing her into my arms after she was born. Buffy, I remember that so clearly!"

"I know. I remember things too. But they're not real memories. She never existed until about a year and a half ago. At least, not in human form I guess. I suppose technically she's a lot older than that."

Mom sits back in her chair, and I can see her mind is working out this scenario. "So these monks changed her into what she is now?"

"Yes."

"For protection?"

"Yes. She's in danger."

"From what?"

"Not what. Who. Her name is Glory, and she's looking for her."

"What did you say she was?"

"A key."

"To what?"

"I'm not sure yet, but I'm sure it's nothing good."

"And what happens to Dawn if Glory finds out she's this...key she's looking for?"

"We're not going to let that happen. _I'm_ not going to let that happen."

"You'll keep her safe?"

"Of course. That's why she was sent to me. So I could protect her."

"I understand what you're saying, but to me, Dawn will always be my baby girl. I don't care if she's biological or not. I love her, and no one is going to take that away from me."

"Don't worry, Mom. I'll keep her safe. She's as much my sister as she is your daughter."

* * *

I decide that the best way to kill Glory is to take her by surprise. Dressed in black and armed with a battle axe, I take off for the factory.

When I arrive, I'm careful not to make any noise. At the last minute, I'm worried that maybe Glory won't be there, but then I hear her voice. Creeping closer to the door, I sit down on the floor and watch.

Glory paces back and forth, conversing with her two minions. Probably about me and her key.

"That damn slayer. I know she has my key!"

Yep, I was right. Glory and her one track mind can think of one thing and one thing only.

"Why haven't you found anything yet?"

"Glorificus, we are trying."

"Well you need to try a little harder! I'm really tired of being stuck here. But with my key, I can go anywhere I want!"

"Anywhere?" a Lei-ach asks.

"Yes, anywhere! With the key, I'll have a dimensional portal to all universes! And do you know what that means?"

The demon grins. "We could bring chaos and destruction here to earth!"

"Yeah, this place may not be so bad after all once I get my key. But I still want to go home."

"We'll find your key, Glorificus."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," I mutter under my breath. I decide now is the time to make my move. With her back to me, I stand up and slowly make my way over to her. Glory seems distracted, as do her minions, which works in my favor.

Holding the axe up high, I envision slamming it down on her head and cracking her skull wide open. I don't think she's human, but I know she's definitely evil.

Suddenly, Glory turns around, as if she knew I was there all along. "Nice try, Slayer. But you can't sneak up on me. I have eyes in the back of my head."

I begin to wonder if she really in fact does.

"Let me guess. You don't have my key. You just came here to kill me."

"Yeah, that about sums it up."

Glory moves forward, and I decide not to waste any time. Before she can react, I take my axe and slam it down over her shoulder, missing her head by a mere few inches. I think I still got her pretty good though, because she halts her attack on me and stares down at the gaping, bloody wound.

"You nicked me. That hurt." But from the expression on her face, it doesn't appear to bother her all that much.

I prepare to aim my axe at her again, this time hoping to get her head instead, but Glory grabs hold of my axe in mid-swing. Grabbing my weapon, she rips the blade from the handle and tosses them both aside.

"Oh please, you're going to have to do better than that. You know, you're really starting to annoy me. Like a mosquito. Maybe I should just kill anyway. Who knows? Maybe it'll be easier to find my key without you around to keep it safe."

"Not if I kill you first."

Glory laughs. "With what? Your axe is lying in pieces on the floor."

Glory has a point, so I improvise. Grabbing one of the candles, I set about lighting Glory's hair on fire. It ignites quickly, and I move back from the heat of the flame.

"Bet you wish you hadn't used all that hair spray this morning, huh?"

One of the Lei-achs rushes to Glory's aid, throwing a blanket over her to squelch the flames. After a few moments of Glory screaming and raging, she throws the blanket on the ground and stares at me, wide-eyed, with her scorched hair hanging behind her. The smell of burnt hair is overwhelming.

"You are seriously going to PAY for that!" She looks to the two Lei-achs standing beside her. "Well don't just stand there! Get her!"

Both demons charge at me. I fight them off, punching one, then the other. I run to grab the blade of my axe from the floor and even though I don't have a handle, I find I can still use it as a shield.

Using the sharp edge of the blade, I cut into one of the Lei-achs, grimacing as the bloody sore on his face oozes out with more blood. These things are disgusting.

The other demon surprises me from behind, causing me to drop the axe blade. The demon grabs my arms, but I elbow him and break free. Then more fighting ensues.

In the midst of all this, I catch Glory out of the corner of my eyes. She looks raving mad with her hair all wild and burnt and her eyes wide with rage. She suddenly screams, causing the whole building to shake and the glass in the windows to shatter.

Dust and debris begin to rain down on me, and looking up, I realize part of the ceiling is caving in. Realizing I better get out while the getting's good, I make a beeline toward the entrance just as the sound of a pylon comes crashing down.

* * *

Giles looks up when I walk into the shop the next morning.

"I know what the key opens."

Giles straightens his glasses and walks over to me. "You do?"

"It's a dimensional portal to all universes. Do you want to tell me how dangerous that is?"

He frowns. "It's incredibly dangerous. We have evil in this world, but some dimensions are far worse. Demon dimensions. Hell dimensions. And once that door is open, it's nearly impossible to shut back."

"So it's virtually a Pandora's box."

"Precisely. Could you imagine if the door to a hell dimension was open and all the havoc it would cause here?"

"Yeah, Giles, I have a pretty good idea with all of my research on the dimension hoppers."

Giles pauses for a moment, then looks at me apologetically. "I'm sorry, Buffy. Of course this would remind of you Angel."

"It's okay. I understand."

"You also understand that Dawn needs to be kept safe at all times."

I nod. "I've already had Will and Tara do a protection spell on the house."

"How did you come across this information about the key?" Giles asks as he moves to grab a book from his shelf.

"From Glory herself. She didn't know I was listening. I surprised her at the factory last night. I tried to take her down but…"

"You were unsuccessful."

"I sliced her with a battle axe and she acted like it was paper cut! Then she broke it by the way. Any word from the Council yet?"

"Not yet, but I did call for an update. They said they would get back to me later today. I'm hopeful they were able to find something about her."

"She's going to be a hard kill. I know it, Giles. She's a lot stronger than she looks."

* * *

Later that evening, Giles calls a meeting at the shop. The Council was in fact able to come through with information on Glory, and none too soon.

"Well don't keep us in suspense, G," Xander says. "What did you find out?"

Giles straightens his glasses and consults the papers in his hand. "Well, it would appear we were wrong about Glory. She's not a demon."

"Well I know she can't be human, so what is she?" I ask.

Giles takes a deep breath, and I can see he's just itching to take off his glasses and clean them. "She's a god."

It takes a moment for that little tidbit of information to sink in. "Oh," is all I can manage to say.

"I'm going to say that she's a hell god," Oz says.

"That actually would be very appropriate," Giles says.

"A _god_?" Xander says, his jaw still hanging open. "We're going up against a god. An actual mightier-than-thou god."

"Well, you know what they say," Willow says, "The bigger they are—"

"The faster they stomp you into nothing," Anya finishes.

"She's right. I've thrown everything I've got at her and she just shrugs it off."

"Then we have to find something heavier to throw," Willow suggests.

"That might pose some difficulty," Giles continues. "From what the Council's been able to discover from the book of Tarnis and other sources, Glory and two of her fellow hell gods ruled over one of the more seriously unpleasant demon dimensions."

"Okay, so, we know where Glory's from. What do we know about her? You know, she's tough, yeah, but, but no bolts of lightning, no blasts of fire, shouldn't a god be able to do that kind of stuff?"

Giles nods as he pours himself a cup of tea. "Usually yes, Buffy, but being in human form must be severely limiting her powers. All we have to worry about right now is she's immortal, invulnerable, and insane."

"A crazy hell god?" Xander scoffs. "The fun just keeps on leaving."

"Well you have to a crazy to be a hell god," Oz says. "It's sort of a requirement."

"Um, yes," Giles says. "From what I've been able to gather, her living in this world is affecting her mental state as well. She's only being able to keep her mind intact by extracting energy from us. Well, from, from the human brain."

"She's a brain-sucker?" Tara asks, horrified.

Giles leans over to read his book on the table. "It says she 'absorbs the energies that bind the human mind into a cohesive whole." Once drained, all that's left behind is, uh—"

"Crazy people," I finish for him.

"Precisely," Giles says.

"Well, that would certainly explain the influx of mental patients at the hospital," Willow says.

"And Sunnydale in general," I add.

"Yeah, at least the vampires just kill you," Oz says.

I rise to my feet, itching to punch something, mainly Glory. "We have to find a way to stop her, Giles."

"Tara and I can work on some tactical spells," Willow says.

"And I can do research," Anya adds. "I know _way_ more about demon dimensions than Giles does." She glances at Giles frowning at her. "Well I do!"

From across the table, Xander leans forward. "This is great long-term plan-y stuff, but what about this key thingy Glory's looking for?"

I exchange a look with Giles, who is calmly taking a sip of his tea.

"Yeah, I mean, shouldn't we be trying to find it before she does?" Tara asks.

"I don't think that's what we should be worrying about right now," I say.

"They've got a point," Willow says. "Whatever Glory's planning on opening with the key, I'm guessing it won't be filled with candy and flowers."

"So where should we start looking?" Xander asks. "Do we know where it used to be kept? Who saw it last?"

"We did. Giles and me. We…we know where it is."

Xander stares at me, stunned. "You _what?"_

Willow stares at me too with the same expression on her face. "I thought you told me that spell didn't work. You knew, and you didn't tell us?"

Giles sits down at the table. "There were…reasons."

"Look, if Glory knew that you guys knew where it was…" I join them at the table and glance at Giles for encouragement. "I just didn't want to put you guys in that kind of danger."

"As opposed to the other kind we're always in?" Xander says, sounding annoyed.

"You should have said something," Willow says.

Oz says nothing, but nods, in agreement with Willow apparently.

"Will, there….okay, you're right." I look to Giles again. "I think it's time we told them."

"Are you sure?"

I nod. "If they're going be risking their lives, they deserve to know."

"Know what?" Xander asks.

I take a deep breath as I look around the table, seeing all eyes on me. "There's something that you need to know…about Dawn."

* * *

"It just doesn't make any sense," Willow says. "How can Dawn not really be…Dawn?"

"Yeah, we've all seen her sort of…grow up," Xander says, "I remember when you all first moved here, she was like this scrawny kid too little for her age."

"Then like overnight, she shot up like a weed!" Willow says, laughing.

"So what are we going to do?" Xander asks.

"Keep Dawn safe."

"But what about…telling her?" Tara asks. "Does Dawn know?"

"No! And she can't know. I don't think she can handle this sort of news. It's sort of…heavy. And despite that we're not really…well, to me, she _is_ my sister. And I need to protect her. Telling her will only make the situation worse. There's no reason for Dawn to know right now. If there comes a time when she does need to know, I'll tell her. But for right now, I need you guys not to say anything to her. Please."

"So we're supposed to act normal?" Anya asks. "We're just supposed to pretend that we've known her all this time?"

"You have known her all this time. You just don't remember her not being here. Please guys, I don't think Dawn needs to know this yet. It's very important that you act like you normally do around her. I don't want her to sense that something isn't right."

"So what about Glory? What are we going to do about her?" Xander asks.

"We protect Dawn from her until I find a way to kill her."

"But she's a…god."

I look at Xander. "I know. But I'll figure out a way. I always do."

Just then, the bell on the door jingles, and Dawn walks in.

"Dawn! What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd get out of the house and let Mom get some rest."

"Who's watching Liam?"

"Mom is. Relax though, he's taking a nap right beside her."

"Mom let you leave the house?"

Dawn is quiet for a moment. "No, she was sleeping. I left her a note. What's the big deal?"

"Dawn, Mom needs to rest, and if Liam wakes up, she's going to get anything but rest!"

"No, that's not it. You just don't want me listening in on your secret Scooby meetings! Why can't I ever be included? I'm good at researching! Right, Xander?"

She smiles at Xander and takes the empty seat beside him.

He smiles back at her. "Of course! You'll be a full-fledged Scooby member in no time!" Xander begins to tickle her, making Dawn shriek with laugher. Xander always knows how to get my sister to smile.

"Did you get into the sugar again?" Dawn asks him through a fit of giggles.

"You make a very pretty little girl!" Anya says. I shoot her a glare, silently telling her to not spill the beans, but she's not paying attention to me.

Xander jumps up from his seat. "Anya, you want to help me with that thing?"

Anya stands up and laughs. "Okay, yeah! I need to go help Xander with his thing!"

"Okay, they're acting more weird than usual," Dawn says as she turns back to the rest of the group at the table. She stares at Willow and Tara for a moment, and they in turn, smile at her.

"So can I help you guys research?" Dawn reaches for the notes on the table and scans them for a brief moment. "Who's Glory? Is that the woman who came to our house?"

"I'll take that," I say to her, snatching the paper from her hand.

"Hey!"

"Dawn, if I wanted your help, I would have asked you for it."

"Well maybe I can help with something else! Willow, Tara? Do you need any help with any spells? I'm really good at collecting stuff."

Willow shakes her hand. "Sorry, Dawn, but this is kind of heavy stuff."

"Yeah, and we wouldn't want you to get hurt," Tara adds.

"Dawn, I think it's time for you to go home. You should keep an eye on Mom in case she needs anything. You know the doctor wants her to take it easy."

Dawn sighs heavily and stands up. "Fine, I can tell when I'm not wanted."

She reaches for her purse and storms out of the shop.

"Why are little sisters so difficult?"

Oz shrugs.

"If only one of you had a little sister, we'd sure have a lot to talk about."

* * *

After researching for several hours and coming up empty-handed, the gang and I call it a night. I decide a patrol is in order. Spike has been tagging along lately, but he's oddly absent tonight. Not that I'm complaining or anything. I take a moment to enjoy the silence and head to the cemetery to find something to beat my frustrations out on.

My cell phone, however, interrupts my concentration and I reach into my pocket to answer it. It's Mom calling. "Mom, everything okay?"

"Buffy, do you know where your sister is?"

"You mean she's not there with you?"

"No. I woke up from my nap and I saw the note that she had left, but I figured she would be home by now."

"She should have been. We were really busy today and I told Dawn to go back home and keep an eye on you and Liam. And that was hours ago! You mean she never went back home at all?"

"If she did, I didn't see her. Like I said, I was sleeping."

"Okay, I'm on my way there."

* * *

By the time I get home, I've already rallied up the gang.

"Okay, let's split up. You three." I point to Xander, Anya, and Oz. "You check the Bronze. Giles, you check the carousel and the park. She likes to go there a lot. And Willow, Tara, and I will check the cemeteries and magic shop."

"What about Spike?" Willow asks.

"He's not answering his phone. Goes straight to voicemail. I haven't seen him tonight either, but if anyone finds him, tell him to keep an eye out. Let's all meet back at the magic shop in a half hour."

"We're on it," Xander says as he and Anya walk out the door.

"Buffy, please find her," Mom says, a worried expression on her face.

"Don't worry, Mom. This isn't the first time I've had to bring Dawn back home. I'll find her."


	35. The Key, pt 5 (conclusion)

**CHAPTER 35 – THE KEY, PT 5 (conclusion)**

A search through the cemeteries doesn't yield any results. When we reach the Magic Box, I peer inside the darkened shop. "Someone's in there. I see a light inside. Like a flashlight or something."

Willow and Tara peer through the window.

"I can't tell who it is," Willow says.

Grabbing the key from my pocket, I open the door and turn on the switch by the wall, flooding the room with light. Dawn and Spike are sitting on the floor around a pile of books. They've obviously been researching, and I immediately recognize the brown leather of Giles' diary lying open in Dawn's lap.

"Dawn, what are you doing here? I've been looking all over for you! And you!" I turn to Spike, glaring at him. "You could have picked up the phone and told me where Dawn was! You had to know I would have been worried about her! Didn't you get my message?"

"Don't be mad at Spike!" Dawn yells, standing up and throwing the book on the floor. "He was just helping me, which is more than I can say for you!"

Spike stands up and moves closer to me. "Don't be mad, Slayer. I was just keeping an eye out for little bit."

"You had no right to keep this from me!" Dawn yells, picking up the diary she had thrown down on the floor and opening up to the page she had left off. She looks at me, and I can see the trail of tears rolling down her cheeks. "How could you not tell me this, Buffy?"

"I was protecting you."

"By lying to me? You didn't think I had a right to know what I really am? I'm not even real! I'm nothing! I'm just a thing that monks made so Glory couldn't find me!"

"You _are_ real, Dawnie!"

"Don't call me that! You're not really my sister!"

"I _am_ your sister!"

"Only because you're forced to be! I'm out of here!"

"No, Dawn!" Willow moves in front of Dawn to halt her escape. "You can't run off on your own. It's dangerous!"

"Glory is still out there," Tara says.

Dawn doesn't make any attempt to escape, but instead, slowly turns around and fixes her gaze on me. From the look on her face, I can tell she's angry at me. "Well maybe my _sister_ should have told me that! How can I know what to be afraid of if she never _talks_ to me?"

"Dawn, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I was doing what I thought was best. Look, we need to get you home."

"Oh right, so that you can keep me locked up and safe from Glory! Don't want her to find out I'm the key, do we?"

"Too late."

A chill runs up my spine as I recognize the female voice from behind me. When I turn around, I see Glory standing in the back of the shop. She must have slipped in from the back.

She saunters into the room with a smug grin on her face, her eyes on Dawn the whole time. "I knew it would be a good idea to follow you, Slayer. I knew that eventually, you'd lead me right to it. Or in this case…her. Interesting…the key is a person. I don't know why I didn't think of that."

Glory makes her way over to Dawn, but before she can reach her, I move in front of her, blocking her path. "You stay away from my sister."

"She's not your anything. She's _mine_."

Balling my hand up in a fist, I deck Glory in the jaw, though not enough to knock her off balance. I punch her again, but this time, she anticipates my move and ducks. The fight is on now.

From the corner of my eye, I see Spike running over to assist when Glory slams me against the shelf, knocking down various glass jars to the floor. She manages to get a kick in as well, but Spike pulls her off of me.

Pinning her arms to her sides, Spike holds Glory still while I punch her repeatedly in the face.

"I thought you said this skank was tough," Spike says.

No sooner than Spike says this, Glory breaks free from his hold, grabs his arms, and flips him over, throwing him against the wall. Before he can recover, Glory picks up Spike again and throws him across the counter, knocking down a display of charms. Spike lands somewhere behind the counter and doesn't come back up.

Dawn pokes her head up from underneath the table. "Spike!"

I charge toward Glory and hit her again. I notice Willow and Tara off to the side quietly chanting as they each hold a small leather pouch. I can only hope they're whipping up some sort of protection spell. I don't know how much longer I can go toe to toe with Glory.

No, I can't think like that. I _have_ to kill her.

Just then, with impeccable timing, I hear the doorbell jingle and Giles walks in, armed with a crossbow. He aims it at Glory, but I'm in the way. I aim to kick her again, only to have her grab my foot to look at it.

"Hey, those are really nice shoes."

When Glory pushes me away, I do a flip and kick her in the face on the way down.

"Giles, now!"

I quickly move out of the way as Giles fires the crossbow. The arrow simply bounces off her stomach, and Glory looks amused. "Oh please, like that's going to do anything."

Behind Glory, I see Dawn holding a spear she had probably found in the training room.

"Dawn, no!"

I'm too late, as Dawn hits her over the head.

"Hey!" Glory snaps her neck around and grabs Dawn, then snatches the weapon out of her hand. "Don't annoy me you little brat! Or else everyone you love is going to die!"

"You get away from my sister!" I charge toward Glory again in an effort to free Dawn from her grasp. Dawn beats me to it though, stomping on Glory's heeled foot, distracting her enough to make her lose grip and let her go.

Glory turns around, the spear still in her hand aimed at Dawn. "You know what. I think I will kill you. I don't need you to be alive in order to get my key. All I need is your blood."

I throw myself in front of the spear, feeling it hit me in the shoulder and knocking me to the ground.

Dawn crawls over to me. "Buffy!"

"Get back, Dawn!"

"Nice catch," Glory says, mocking us. "Is that the best you can do? 'Cause I got to tell you. I'm not so impressed."

I sit up and pull the spear out of my shoulder. No vital organs damaged. I'll live. But it still hurts like hell.

Glory saunters over to Willow and Tara, still chanting in the corner. When she gets closer, Willow throws a handful of magic dust which covers her hair and clothing.

Glory looks down at her red dress, then glares at her. "Look what you did to my dress, you little—"

Willow claps her hands. " _Discede_!"

Suddenly, Glory vanishes into a cloud of dust. Willow falls to the floor seconds later.

"Willow!" Tara shouts, reaching over to try to break her fall.

"Will, what did you do to her?"

"Teleportation spell," she answers as she touches her nose, wiping the blood away from it. "Still working out the kinks."

"Where did you send her?"

Willow shrugs at me. "Don't know. That's one of the kinks."

Giles moves closer, and I recognize the disapproving look on his face. I'm surprised for once to see him not giving that look to me. "That was an incredibly dangerous spell for an adept at your level."

Willow, a little dazed, sits up and nods. "Yep. Won't be trying that one again soon."

Behind the counter, Spike groans. He sits up, rubs his head. "Bloody hell," I hear him mumble.

"Spike, are you okay?" Dawn asks.

"He's fine," I tell her. "The question is…are _you_ alright?"

Dawn turns around and stares at me. "Why do you care?"

"Because I love you. You're my sister."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are! In every way that counts, you are my sister!"

Dawn doesn't say anything. She just stands there and wipes her tears with the back of her hand.

"Come on, I'm taking you home. Mom's freaking out right about now."

"Whatever," she mutters as she heads out the door.

I look back to the group and shrug. "Sorry, but I better go with her. Will, work out that kink, okay?"

Willow nods. "I'll try. Or…not," she says when Giles gives her a stern look.

* * *

Back at home, Mom waits by the door. I can see she's been pacing, and it angers me that Dawn has worried our mother like this.

Mom, however, doesn't seem upset. Instead of yelling, she runs to Dawn, holding her against her chest and hugging her until Dawn tells her she needs to breathe.

"Honey, do you need anything?" Mom asks Dawn.

She shakes her head. "No thanks. I think I just want to go to bed."

"Alright. Goodnight, Dawn."

"Goodnight," she says, not sparing me a glance as she passes me on the way up the stairs.

Once out of earshot, Mom stares at me, a questioning look in her eyes. "Buffy, what's wrong with your sister?"

"She knows."

* * *

Mom goes upstairs a few minutes later, and when I head upstairs myself, I see Dawn's door is open. Inside, my mother is sitting on the edge of her bed with Dawn. I don't want to intrude, but at the time, I can't leave things the way they are. My little sister is hurting, and I don't want things to be this way.

I stand at the door for a few minutes. Dawn spots me, but looks away and turns to our mother. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Mom looks to me, and I can see from the expression on her face that she doesn't quite know what to say to her.

"We were going to," I say as I walk into the room, sitting down on Dawn's other side. "It just…" Dawn glares at me, and I know she's in no mood to hear anything I have to say.

"We thought it would be better to wait until you were older," Mom says.

"How old am I now?"

"You're sixteen, sweetheart, you know that."

"No. The monks. When did…when did they…?"

"Almost a year and a half ago," I tell her.

"I've been here for over a _year_? And you're just figuring this out now?"

"The monks did a good job of hiding you. It took Glory a while to find you."

"So you're telling me I've only been alive for a year and a half? You're telling me I'm as old as Liam?!"

"Honey, you've been alive a lot longer than that to us," Mom says, placing her arms around her shoulders.

"You don't know that! You don't know anything. I'm, I'm just a key, right? Everything about me is made up."

"Dawn, Mom and I know what we feel. I know I care about you. I know that I worry about you—"

"You worry about me because you have to. I'm your job. Protect the key, right?"

"I worry about you because you're my sister! Listen, it doesn't matter where you came from, or how you got here. You are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't. And I was so worried about you tonight."

"I was scared for you too. Is your shoulder okay?"

Mom frowns. "What's wrong with your shoulder?"

I look down at the wound, the blood already dry on my dark clothing. Honestly I had forgotten all about it. I guess I had other things on my mind. "It's nothing. Just a little cut, and it's already healing. No big."

"Well, I think we should all get some shut-eye," Mom announces. "I think we've all had a rough day. We'll talk more in the morning. And Buffy, put some antiseptic on that wound, alright?"

I nod. "I will."

"Are you going to be okay?" Mom asks, hugging Dawn's shoulders.

"I just want to go to sleep," she replies.

"Alright. Get some rest." She kisses Dawn on the forehead. "I do hope you know how much I love you, no matter what way you came into our lives. You're always going to be my special little punkin' belly."

"The same goes for me too, Dawn. Although you're not a little punkin' belly to me. You're just my little sister that I love to fight with. But please don't be mad at me. I wouldn't work so hard at keeping you safe if I didn't love you."

"I'm tired now, Buffy."

Even though Dawn seems to not be as angry as she was before, I still sense that I need to tread carefully when it comes to her. It's going to take Dawn a while to adjust to all of this.

* * *

The next morning, I bring Liam downstairs to find Mom in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Mom, you should let me help you with that."

Mom smiles at me. "I'm fine, Buffy. You have your hands full enough with this one. Good morning, Liam!"

Liam waves his arms excitedly and practically jumps out of my arms. Mom takes him and puts him in his high chair. "I even have Liam's breakfast ready too."

"Thanks, Mom." I'm looking around at what kinds of food Mom has prepared this morning when I soon realize the kitchen is quiet, and Dawn is absent. "Shouldn't Dawn be up by now?"

Mom puts a bib on Liam and begins to feed him. "I told her she didn't have to go to school today. She's been through enough lately."

"Yeah. I really didn't mean for all of this to blow up last night. I really wish Dawn hadn't found out like that. I would have told her…when she was ready to hear it."

"Well, you know your sister. She gets an idea in her mind and she can't let it go. She's a lot like you sometimes."

The phone rings, and Mom puts down Liam's spoon. Every time the phone has rung this past week, Mom rushes to get it, hoping it will be her doctor. I take over feeding Liam and strain to hear her voice from the other room, trying to figure out who Mom is talking to on the other end.

She walks back into the kitchen a few minutes later with a smile.

"Good news?" I ask hopefully.

"Great news!"

"It's not cancer?"

Mom shakes her head. "Not cancer."

I hand Liam his spoon to let him feed himself and run to hug Mom. We stay like that for several moments. I feel like I might cry from relief.

"So what now?"

"Well, I'll still need surgery to remove the tumor. It should be a relatively easy surgery given its position. And they have a cancellation this Friday."

"You're having surgery _Friday? This Friday_?"

"I know it's soon, but I'm ready to be over with this."

"Me too." I hug Mom again until we hear someone come into the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Dawn asks from the doorway, sleep still in her eyes.

"Mom doesn't have cancer!"

Dawn's eyes brighten. "You don't?"

Mom smiles back. "Nope, I'm completely cancer-free!"

"That's great news!"

Dawn rushes to hug Mom, and I'm glad to finally see a smile crack from my sister.

"Mama!" Liam calls out.

When I look at him, he's raising his little arms out to me. He wants to do a family hug. I scoop him out of his chair, then together, the three of us embrace Mom again.

* * *

Liam runs into Mom's hospital room and immediately attempts to climb onto the bed. It's too high for him though, so I give him a lift.

"Isn't this a nice surprise!" Mom says as Liam snuggles into her arms.

"Surprise, what are you talking about? You had to know we would come visit you!"

"We thought we'd keep you company," Dawn says, pulling up one of the chairs beside Mom's bed.

"Well I'm glad you did. I've had about enough of television!" Mom picks up the remote and turns the TV off.

As I take the other chair beside Mom's bed, a hospital staffer wheels a food cart into her room.

Mom looks at us and smiles. "Not to mention other things."

She winks at us, and I laugh, remembering the hospital food from my stint here.

When Mom removes the cover from the food, Dawn scowls at the tray. "Ugh. I don't know which looks worse. Hospital food…or cafeteria."

"Hospital," I say. "Always worse."

"The red jello looks good at least," Dawn says.

"Here, you have it," Mom says, handing her the small bowl of jello.

"Mom, I can't take this. You need to eat up. You can't eat anything after eight o'clock, right?"

"I know, but I don't like wiggly food. It'll just go to waste anyway."

With that, Dawn happily takes the bowl and spoon Mom offers to her and begins to dig in.

We stay and chat with Mom while she eats, all of us trying to keep the conversation light and not talking about her surgery tomorrow. Liam becomes fascinated with the remote-controlled bed, which helps take our minds off of things for a while.

"Hey, Dawn," Mom says, pointing to the cabinet. "Get my purse out of the cabinet for me, will you?"

Dawn gets up and retrieves Mom's purse. "Here you go."

Mom digs through it, pulling out a change purse full of quarters which she then hands to Dawn. "Here, why don't you go find a vending machine and get you a little something to eat."

"And take Liam with you, please," I say as I scoop him up and onto the floor. "I think he's getting a little restless."

"Okay. Do you want anything, Mom?"

Mom shakes her head. "No thanks, sweetie. I can't eat anything else for tonight."

"Oh, right. Okay, come on, Liam. Let's go find the vending machine and get us a snack." Dawn takes Liam's hand. "We'll be back soon," she says as they leave the room.

When Dawn leaves, Mom motions for me to come a little closer, so I scoot my chair up to the bed.

"Buffy, I didn't want to say this in front of Dawn, because I don't want to scare her."

"With a sentence like that, you're starting to scare _me_. Is something wrong?"

"Other than the obvious? No. But I wanted to talk to you. I'm having surgery tomorrow, and in the event that something goes wrong—"

"Mom, don't talk like that. You're going to be fine."

"I'm sure I will, but there's always that chance. Listen, Buffy, this is important. If something goes wrong, I don't want to be a vegetable. Okay? I don't want to be hooked up to tubes and machines keeping me alive. If there's no possible way of me recovering, then you have to let me go."

"Mom…"

"Buffy, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but we have to talk about it. We have to be prepared for something like this. Now listen, the funeral…"

"Do we have to talk about this?"

"Yes, we do. No wake, alright? I don't like them. Potlucks are depressing enough. A graveside service will be enough. Alright?"

I can't find the words to respond, because honestly, I don't want to think about my mother dying.

"Buffy?"

"Yes, okay. But you're going to be fine. We're not going to need to worry about that for a long time."

"I hope."

* * *

An idea's been brewing in my mind for the last couple of days, a possible way to take out Glory. I'm not sure if it'll work, but at this point, anything is worth a shot. I'll need some help though to pull it off.

After Liam is tucked into bed and sleeping, I call a meeting at my house to discuss the particulars of my plan. Giles doesn't come, intent on doing more research on his end. Anya doesn't come either, but only because she doesn't want to.

"So, Buff, what's the plan?" Xander asks.

"The plan is to take down Glory. And there's something I want to try. I'm not sure if it'll work, and if that's the case, I need a backup plan." I glance at Willow.

"Magic?" she asks.

"I know it's asking a lot, but this is serious."

"I'd be glad to help, Buffy. Any way I can."

"What about me?" Xander asks. "What can I do?"

"Provide a distraction maybe? If you think you can."

"I'm the king of diversions. I'll come up with something."

"Good. We need to take Glory by surprise. And also, she has a few demons working for her."

"Maybe we should get Spike involved," Willow suggests. "Couldn't hurt."

"I was planning on it. I'll talk to him later."

"Question," Oz says. "How exactly do you intend to 'take Glory down'. Giles seems to think there's not a way to kill her."

"And he may be right, but I can't accept that right now. Vampires are immortal, but even they can still die. And Glory, as tough as she is, is actually in a weakened state. If we want to kill her, it's got to be soon."

"So what do you plan to do?" Xander asks.

"Remember the Judge?"

"How could we forget?" Xander says.

"He was a tough kill, but with the right weapon, it wasn't impossible."

"The rocket launcher?" Xander asks.

"Do you think it'll work?" I ask him.

Xander shrugs. "I don't know, Buff. Worth a shot. Did you talk to Giles about it?"

"Yeah, and he's going to research it. Thing is, I don't have time to sit around and research. I need to kill her, and fast. It seems like every time I turn around, there's always something else I have to deal with. And I don't have time for it. I'm so tired of dealing with her. She's in my face all the time. I just wish I could get rid of her."

Behind me, I hear some shuffling on the staircase. Turning around, I see Dawn standing in the living room. "I guess I know now how you really feel about me! You never want to include me with anything and now I know why! I'm sorry I'm such a damn inconvenience to you!"

"Dawn!"

"Leave me alone!" With that, Dawn runs up the stairs. Her bedroom door slams shut seconds later.

"Dawn! Great, she thinks I was talking about her."

"Want me to go talk to her?" Xander offers.

"No, I will. Maybe I'll just let her cool down first. When Dawn gets in these moods, it's nearly impossible to get through to her. Besides, we have more pressing matters to deal with at the moment. So, Will, about that spell. Have you been able to work out the kinks yet?"

Willow glances at Tara and then nods. "Sort of. I've been studying on it. I think I can do it again, only better next time."

"Willow, I don't know…" Tara says. "Giles says it's too dangerous. And I think so too."

"And I agree with them," Oz says. "I don't want you putting yourself at risk."

"The worst that could happen would be that I'd be drained for a little while."

"Glory would be gone at least," Xander says.

"Okay, so let's go over the plan I have in mind…"

* * *

I hear Dawn's music upstairs, which is typical. She always has her music playing whenever she's closed up in her room, and especially when she's sulking and doesn't want to talk to anyone.

I walk over to the door and knock softly, but loud enough so she can hear me over her stereo. "Dawn? Can I come in?"

No response. She's choosing to ignore me. Of course.

"Dawn, please, I want to talk. I know you're upset, but you misunderstood what you heard."

When she still doesn't respond, I decide to go in. "Okay, I'm coming in, and if this door is locked, you know I can just bust it open with my slayer strength."

The door, however, isn't locked, so I walk inside. I turn down the music and look to the bed. I expect to see Dawn roll over and tell me to go away, but Dawn's not in her bed. I look around, quickly realizing that Dawn isn't in her room at all, and the window is wide open.

"Damn it!"

I race back downstairs where the rest of the group waits for me.

"Dawn's gone!"

Willow's eyes widen. "Oh no. You don't think…"

"No, I don't think Glory came for her. It's more likely she snuck out. Nothing in her room was disturbed and her window was wide open."

"Dawn can't be out there!" Xander says. "It's too dangerous with Glory looking for her!"

"I know. That's why we need to find her. And fast. Xander, I need someone to stay with Liam. Can you please?"

"Of course."

Before any of us make it to the door, Spike bursts through it. He looks like he rushed over here, and if he could breathe, he'd be out of breath right now.

"Dawn! Glory has her!"

" _What?_ No! Where are they?!"

"At some abandoned factory! When I saw Dawn, I tried to save her, but that bitch kicked my ass."

My heart literally pounds in my chest as my mind goes to the worst case scenario. But I can't think about that right now. I push those thoughts aside and spring into action. "Okay, looks like we're doing this tonight, and we need to act fast. Xander, call Giles. Tell him what's going on. Will, can we get the Buffybot running on short notice?"

"Yeah, sure. I always keep the battery fully charged just in case. She's at the shop."

"Good. We need to stop by the shop anyway for supplies. And then Spike, you need to take us to that factory. And hurry. We've got no time to waste!"

* * *

After a quick stop to the Magic Box, Spike leads us to the factory. I nod for the group to go ahead, letting Buffybot take my place as I cut around to the other side. I just pray we can find Dawn before it's too late.

Meanwhile, I've got a hell god to destroy. Underneath my arm, I grip the rocket launcher tightly. It's time to bring out the bring guns. Like Spike, I was tired of her kicking my ass too. If this thing could destroy the Judge, surely it could destroy Glory too.

I just hope I'm right.

From my vantage point, I see the gang scoping out the place.

Willow and Tara are reciting a protection spell while Spike and Oz sniff out the joint, looking for any sign of my sister. I can't imagine where she could possibly be…and then I see it.

Fifty feet above me, an unstable looking tower stands. This wasn't here before. I'm almost sure of it. I wonder what on earth could possibly be the significance of that, and then I know. There's something at the top of the tower. No, not something.

 _Someone._ Dawn.

I hold my rocket launcher up, ready to kill this bitch if she hurts my sister. But I just need to find her. Or rather, Buffybot needs to find her. Please, for once in your life, come through for me you stupid bot.

Up ahead, I see the bot move closer to the tower, and I follow her, making sure to stay as hidden as I possibly can.

Finally, as if on cue, a mass of blonde hair appears. Glory, wearing her signature red dress and heels, appears before the bot.

They exchange words, though I can't hear what they're saying. As she and Glory begin to fight, I move closer.

I know I don't have long. It's only a matter of time before Glory realizes it's not really me. Almost as soon as that thought crosses my mind, Glory takes a swing at the bot, kicking her head clean off.

" _What?!_ I've been fighting a robot? Where's that stupid little slayer?"

"Looking for me?"

Glory turns her head in my direction just as I release the rocket, aimed straight for her face. Glory barely has time to react before a fiery ball engulfs her, not unlike the judge.

And just like that, Glory is gone, disintegrated into a thousand pieces, which hopefully I don't have to scramble to pick up like last time.

"Well hell, if I had known killing her would be that easy, I would have done this a long time ago."

"Buffy!"

Dawn's voice carries over as I gaze up, seeing the tower looming above me. Spike is halfway up the railing, but I need to be there for my sister.

I shove the rocket launcher at Oz for safekeeping and start to climb up the railing myself.

"Get back!" Spike yells when he sees me behind him. "This thing isn't stable!"

But I ignore Spike's comment and make my way higher, adrenaline pushing me forward. If I'm not there to save Dawn, I may never get through to her.

Spike reaches the platform just before I do. When I finally reach the top, I see Dawn tied to a post, decked out in some sort of black dress that I've never seen before. Spike is already working on untying her.

"Dawn!"

Dawn turns her head in my direction, the relief evident in her eyes as she sees me run to her. "Buffy!"

Spike unties the last of the ropes, and with Dawn finally free, I pull my little sister into my arms. "Are you alright?"

"I'm bleeding!"

I look at her, but don't see a scratch on her. "Where?"

"From her legs," Spike says.

"Don't let my blood touch the ground! It'll open a portal!" Dawn yells.

Spike scoops her up into his arms and carries her farther back. Blood is dripping down her legs, covering her bare feet. I grab my sweater and put it over her.

"Where's Glory?" Dawn asks me.

"She's dead."

"Are you sure?"

I nod. "Yeah, quite sure. I took her out with my rocket launcher."

Spike grins. "Oh was that what that sound was?"

"Yeah, it's over now."

"Good," Dawn says in a soft voice. "I'm glad she's gone. Thanks for saving me, Buffy. And you too, Spike. I'm sorry I ran off. I know it was stupid."

"Why did you run off, niblet?" Spike asks.

"Because, I heard Buffy talking about me. She said I was annoying and she just wanted to get rid of me. That she didn't want to deal with me anymore."

"Dawn, I wasn't talking about _you_! I was talking about _Glory_!"

"Oh. You were?"

"Of course I was! I don't want to get rid of you! You may be annoying and a pain in my butt, but you're my sister, and I love you. I'm always going to save you, Dawn."

"I love you too, Buffy. And you're a pain in my butt too sometimes."

I laugh. "Come on, we need to get you out of here."

Spike checks the wounds on Dawn's legs. The bleeding appears to have stopped, and my sweater has sufficiently wiped off the rest of the blood. I don't know what would have happened if Dawn's blood had managed to touch the ground, and I'm glad I won't find out. Dawn seemed pretty terrified about it, and with Glory involved, I know it wouldn't have been anything good.

The movement from the three of us standing makes the wobbly platform sway. I look at Spike, fearing what may happen next.

"I warned you it was unstable."

"You don't think it will collapse, do you?" I ask him.

"I heard it was built by a bunch of crazy people. Of course it'll collapse! We just need to move very slowly."

"Agreed. Dawn, can you get down okay?"

She looks at me and nods, though she seems hesitant. "Yeah, I think so."

"You two go down on that side and I'll go down the other," Spike says. "Maybe it'll balance out the weight and be less shaky."

We begin our slow descent down the tower. Would have been nice had the crazy people who built this thing built some steps while they were at it, but no, we have to do this the hard way. As we make our way down, I keep an eye on Dawn above me. This way in case she falls, I can catch her.

Halfway down the tower, there's a creaking sound, which doesn't sound good.

Dawn glances down at me, her eyes fearful. "Buffy?"

"Just keeping moving Dawn. Slow, okay?"

Dawn turns back to the railing and focuses back on going down.

Looking across the tower, I see that Spike has made better time than us. I've been going slower because of Dawn, and she hasn't been moving very fast.

The creaking sound happens again, more like a screech this time. Dawn looks at me in panic. "Buffy, what was that?"

Before I can answer, Dawn loses her footing and slips.

"Dawn!"

Dawn's okay, but hanging on, desperately trying to find her footing again. I climb back up to her and help her steady herself.

"Be careful."

"Sorry."

Our movement has made the tower more shaky, and looking down at the ground, we still have a long way to go. If we can just make it to the bottom…

Suddenly, one of the platforms up ahead falls down and comes sailing down, narrowly missing our heads.

"Buffy!"

"Just keep moving, Dawn. Slowly!"

"I'm scared."

"Don't worry, you'll be fine."

More of the platform begins to fall, and one of the metal pieces manages to hit my shoulder.

"Ow!"

"Buffy! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just keep moving."

My shoulder is throbbing through, and I know I'm going to have an ugly bruise there when all of this is over.

As we get closer to the ground, I let Dawn go ahead of me, wanting her to get off this tower and fast as the structure has become far more unstable. On the ground, I see Giles is now here. He and Oz wait near Willow and Tara, a good safe distance away from the tower. Spike stands right next to me though.

Once Dawn is finally safe and sound, Spike carries her away from the danger, and I breathe a sigh of relief as I make my own way down.

"Be careful, Buffy," Giles warns me.

Finally, my foot hits the ground. I'm relieved for only a second, and then I hear a crashing sound above me. Scrap pieces of metal rain on me as someone pushes me out of the way and onto the ground. Seconds later, the tower completely collapses.

A cloud of dust billows from the crash site. I cough a little and sit up, trying to get my bearings. Spike sits next to me, waving the dust out of his face.

"Thanks for the save. Close call."

"Yeah."

I look at the pile of rubble that was once the tower, finding it incredible that we all made it off that thing in time. Then I remember Dawn. I stand up, brushing dirt off my shirt as I run over to Dawn, putting my arms around her again.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Buffy!" she says to me. "When I saw that tower collapse…"

"I'm fine. We're all fine."

"Can we go home now?" she asks.

I nod. "Yes. Please."

* * *

Back at home, Xander opens the door when he hears us on the porch.

"You found her? Thank god." He pulls Dawn in for a tight hug. "Don't scare us like that again, okay?"

"Okay," Dawn says, her voice muffled by Xander's shoulder.

"And not only did we find Dawn," Willow adds, "but Buffy killed a hell god as well!"

"The rocket launcher worked?"

"Yep," I reply, smiling ear to ear. "It worked!"

Xander grins. "Score for the good guys! Too bad we didn't think of that sooner!"

"If you guys don't mind, I think I'm going to go to bed," Dawn says.

"Dawn, I can help you with those cuts on your legs."

"That's okay. I got it. Goodnight."

As Dawn makes her way up the stairs, Xander looks at me questioningly. "She got hurt?"

"She'll be okay."

"Well, we should probably go," Willow says, nodding at Oz and Tara. "It's late."

"Okay, goodnight. Thanks for your help."

Oz nods and he, Willow, and Tara head out the door.

When it's just me and Xander, I sink on the couch, exhausted after the night I've had.

"You okay?"

I look at Xander and give him a half-hearted smile. "I guess. Tonight was just…intense. If something had happened to Dawn, I would have never forgiven myself. I'm just so glad she's okay. Did Liam sleep the whole time?"

"No. He woke up once and I played with him for a while, but he's back asleep now. Oh, and by the way, your mom called."

"You didn't tell her…"

"No, of course not. I just said that you took Dawn out for ice cream and that I was watching Liam. I didn't want to say anything to worry her."

"Good, thank you. She's got enough to deal with. Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she said she's doing fine. She just wanted to check on you. She said the doctors are going to let her go home the day after tomorrow."

"That's real good. I'm so glad she's going to be okay."

"It would take a lot to bring Joyce Summers down. Well, I should go. Anya's waiting for me."

"Of course, go. Thank you, Xander."

"Anytime."

I walk him to the door and say goodnight. Once I close the door behind him, I set about turning off the lights downstairs and decide to get ready for bed myself.

When I check in on Dawn, she's already in bed. I close her door back and go to my own room.

Liam, still out like a light, doesn't awaken when I get into bed.

Apparently the only one in the house who can't get to sleep is me.

* * *

 _Dear Journal,_

 _Dawn hasn't come out of her room for most of the day following the incident with Glory. She's in one of her moods, and I can only assume she's still adjusting to the fact that she's really a key. I can't believe how close I came to losing my sister. Maybe technically, she's not biologically related to me, but she's my sister all the same, and I don't know what I would do if I lost her._

 _I decided to give her space, let her be moody, and took Liam to the hospital to see his grandmother. She lit up whenever Liam ran into her room, and it was so good to see her in good spirits for once. Mom says the doctors are finally letting her come home tomorrow. She asked about Dawn, of course, but I just told her she wasn't feeling well and left it at that. I'll tell her what happened later. For now, she's content to know that we're all safe._

* * *

Later that night, I forego patrolling, deciding to take off a night after everything we went through last night.

I get Liam ready for bed, but apparently he has no intentions of going to sleep. So I do the only thing that might possibly work…read him a book.

Liam pays attention for about half of the story before he becomes fascinated with my shoulder.

I look down at my shoulder where Liam is touching and see the dark purple bruise that I knew would appear. "Yeah, Mommy has a boo-boo. But it'll heal."

Liam presses his open mouth over my bruise, making me laugh.

"Are you kissing it to make it better?" I run my fingers through his soft, dark hair. "Thanks, baby."

There's a knock on the door, and a few seconds later, Dawn pokes her head into the room. "I saw your light on. I can't sleep."

Liam squeals in delight at the sight of Dawn and flaps his arms excitedly. "Auntie!"

"I think he wants you to join us," I tell her.

Dawn takes a few tentative steps forward before sitting on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry I've been so moody today. I just…I just needed some time alone."

"That's okay."

"And I just wanted to say thanks again."

"For what, Dawn? Saving your life?"

"I don't know why you'd want to. I mean, let's be honest. Ninety percent of the time, we can't stand each other. We fight all the time. Basically I'm just this annoying little brat you got stuck with. And I'm not even really your—"

"Dawn, for the last time, you _are_ my little sister, okay? And I don't care how you came to be here. And I don't care that we fight all the time. You're family to me, alright? And sisters fight. I love you no matter what, and of course I'd want to save you. Besides, it was my fault I let Glory get that close to you. I should have done a better job protecting you."

"I snuck out of the house. You couldn't have stopped me."

"Hmm, I wonder who you learned that from," I say to her, smiling, and Dawn smiles back. We've both become experts at sneaking out of the house. Mom's totally oblivious.

Liam pats the page in the book, his interest in the story renewed.

"Can I sleep in here tonight?" Dawn asks.

I nod. "Sure." I remember the last time we shared a bed together. Dawn was seven and kicked me so much during the night that I swore I'd never let her sleep with me again. But that doesn't seem so important anymore.

Dawn snuggles under the covers and Liam sits on my lap.

By the time I'm finished with the story, I'm tired, Liam is yawning, and Dawn is already fast asleep.

* * *

A/N: Hey everyone, hope you enjoyed my version of these events. Obviously I changed some things from the show, and I definitely wasn't going to kill Buffy off! I had originally intended all of this to be three chapters, but discovered it was WAY longer than I thought it was and had to split it up into five.

Now that the Key chapters are done, I will be taking a short posting break in order to get the next couple of chapters ready. In the meantime, I have some exciting news! I've been nominated for a TON of fanfic awards! Voting starts today so if you have a moment please vote for my stories! Link and details in my profile.

Thanks everyone! :)


	36. The Valley of Dragons

**a/n:** Apologies for the long wait. I had some extreme writer's block on this chapter and literally had to step away from it for a while to regain my focus. I'm still iffy about how it turned out, but it's mostly filler anyway. Hopefully after this I can get somewhat back on track. Enjoy.

 **CHAPTER 36 – THE VALLEY OF DRAGONS**

 ** _SUMMER - 2002_**

I turn on the light and walk into my quiet, lonely bunker. Home sweet home. Not my true home, of course. That would be with Buffy. I stare at the sketched pictures of her on my wall and smile. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like if she were here with me. It would make this experience easier for sure.

I sit on the cot and kick my shoes off. I'm tired and exhausted after our latest trip. I intend to take a quick nap, but my mind won't shut off, keeping me awake. I keep hearing Grayer complaining.

" _Complete waste of time."_

Maybe he's right. Maybe we spent weeks searching Astoria for a non-existent compound. Maybe Cronus was there in the Garden or Sea Districts all along, hiding out somewhere and laughing at us.

I reach for my wallet and pull out Buffy's picture. I stare at her beautiful face and wish I could ask her what to do. Buffy would know what to do. Meanwhile, I'm a complete failure.

A soft knock sounds on my door. I tuck the picture back into my wallet and set it aside. "Come in."

The door opens and Andromeda steps inside. I've been on the road for so long that her appearance stuns me for a moment. Suddenly she seems much taller, and her pink hair is a lot longer now. She's starting to look like a young woman.

"Hi, Angel."

"Hey. Long time, no see."

She walks over to me and gives me a hug. "I'm so glad you and Papa are back home. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. I know you just got back. I just wanted to say hey."

"You're not bothering me. You could never bother me."

"Where did you go?"

"Just about everywhere."

"Did you go see our district?"

"Yes, I did."

"What's it like there?" she asks in a small voice. "Is everything okay?"

I hesitate to tell her, but Andromeda can already see the truth in my eyes.

"It's bad, isn't it?"

"It's deserted. The people that stayed behind…there's no one there anymore."

"Are the houses still standing?"

"Most of them, yes."

"But not all of them?"

"No."

"Is our…?"

"Your house is fine. It's still standing."

Andromeda breathes a sigh of relief. "That's good at least. Where did everyone go?"

"Maybe the remaining people found a way to escape or hide somewhere else. I don't know." Or the Invaders took them away, or worse, but I don't say that.

Andromeda sits down on the side of the cot. "Angel, how much longer is this war going to last?"

"I wish I could tell you it's going to be over tomorrow, but I can't."

She nods. "I figured. But it's been so long."

"I know. And we're doing everything we can."

"Did you and Papa fight Invaders on your trip?"

"Yes, we encountered several. We always do. But for every Invader we see, there are many more we don't see."

Andromeda sighs. "Sure seems like there are a lot of them. I guess it would take a long time to fight all of them. Where are they all coming from?"

"They're spread out all over."

"And where are they keeping our Crystal?"

"We don't know, but we're looking for it."

"Maybe they're keeping it in the forest where the dragons are. That way we'll be too afraid to go after it."

I smile at the girl. "You may be on to something. I think you've just given me an idea."

Andromeda smiles back. "Happy to help. Well, I'll let you get some rest. I know you must be tired. I'm glad you made it home safely."

"Thanks, Andromeda. I'll see you later."

Andromeda leaves, and I lay down on my cot. I try once again to sleep, but my mind is still racing. Only now, I'm thinking of an idea. Where is the Crystal? And where is Cronus hiding? We haven't looked _everywhere_ in Astoria. Maybe the answer should have been obvious to me from the start.

* * *

Later that afternoon, I find Roman and Althea in the commons area. Althea is pouring him some tea, and when she sees me, she offers some to me as well.

"Thanks, Althea," I say as I join them at the table. "Roman, I wanted to run something by you."

"Sure, what is it, Angel?"

"I was just thinking of something. I can't believe it didn't occur to me before. When I came here to Astoria, it was through a portal. A portal that was in the middle of the forest."

Roman seems intrigued with what I'm saying. "Go on."

"At first, I thought the location of the portal was random, but what if that's where it originated?"

"It's a good theory," Roman says, "but the Invaders have always steered clear of the forest."

"Are you sure about that? It's true, I never encountered them when I was there, but the forest is huge. What's beyond the forest?"

Althea and Roman exchange glances before looking back at me. "We're not sure, Angel," Althea replies. "The forest has always been dangerous, even before the dragons."

"This is true," Roman says. "We've never ventured out there, except for hunting and medicinal purposes."

"Well someone had to venture out there. You told me yourself how vast the forest is."

"Our forefathers," says a voice from the back of the room. I turn around to see Old Man Hogan walking our way. He then pulls up a chair and joins us at the table.

"What do you know, Hogan?" I ask him.

"Many years ago, a group of explorers took it upon themselves to venture out in the forest and find out what lay beyond. Not all of them came back, but the ones who did told stories of the dangers they encountered. Wolves. Bears. Panthers. The usual dangers."

"Couldn't they have used magic to keep them safe?"

"Could have, but that was before our skills in magic were fully understood."

"Okay, so what did they find beyond the forest?"

"Nothing, really. Just another ocean and some mountains."

"And how long ago was this?"

Hogan shrugged. "Hundreds of years ago maybe."

"And no one since then has explored what's out there?"

"Like Althea and Roman say, the forest is dangerous."

"So no one thought to see what's out there? Even when you had your magic?"

Althea shrugs. "I suppose exploring the unknown wasn't really high on our priorities. Everything we needed was right here. Plus, I can't imagine us spread all out. Us Astorians like living in our close-knit communities."

I lean back in my chair and ponder the situation for a moment. Roman looks at me. "What are you thinking, Angel?"

"It seems that the more we fight, the bigger their army becomes. Where are they coming from? If there's no magic in this world anymore, then no one new should be coming. I'm thinking there are more Invaders than we originally thought, and I'm willing to bet their home base is somewhere beyond that forest."

"You could be right, Angel," Roman says. "That very well could be where we'll find Cronus, and the Crystal for that matter. Who knows where they're keeping that. But it would take months to travel that far of a distance."

"Approximately four months. I know. Because that's about how long it took me to reach civilization once I got here. Unless…" I smile, the beginnings of a plan starting to form in my head.

"Unless what?" Roman asks.

"Unless we travel by horse. The journey would still take a while, but it would shave off some of that time."

"We only have the one horse now," Roman says.

"I'm sure we could round up a few more. Risky, but worth it."

* * *

A week or so later, we borrowed another horse from a villager in the Sea District. I was hoping we'd find more, but was grateful for what we had. And two seemed enough for a recon mission, especially when the rest of the men were needed for security and hunting purposes. To my surprise, Walker volunteered to accompany me. I'd figured if anyone would come, it'd be someone who wasn't married with a family, but Walker was eager for the journey. So at dawn's light, the two of us set out into the forest.

By noon, we stop for a break. We were still in familiar territory, as our regular hunting expeditions often brought us here. I knew though that once we got deeper in the forest, things would become more dangerous.

Walker pulled a piece of jerky out of his bag and offered me some. "We still have a long way to go, don't we?"

I nod. "We're still making better time with the horses than we would on foot."

We don't rest for long, for we have a long journey ahead. After the horses get some water and Walker and I get some food in our stomachs, we're off again.

* * *

It's been weeks since Walker and I left. But even if I wasn't keeping track of the passing days, I'd know it from the facial hair I'm sporting.

After washing up, I reach into my bag for my razor and proceed to shave it off. I've had enough of it. From the corner of my eye, I can see Walker staring at me.

"How do you do that without a mirror?"

I shrug. "Years of experience I suppose."

It takes Walker a moment before understanding registers on his face. "Right, you were once a vampire, and vampires have no reflection."

I've gotten close to the people of Astoria, and several of them know about my past because I have told them. Though many of them do not believe I could ever have been anything but a good, honorable man. Walker, however, knows I do not lie.

"Why bother?" he asks after a moment. His own facial hair hasn't been shaved off since we left, and he doesn't seem particularly concerned about it.

I smile at him. "Because, if there's some miracle and I get to see Buffy today, she's going to expect to find me clean-shaven."

* * *

Late one afternoon, Walker and I decide to give the horses a breather since we've had them traveling since dawn. As the horses rest and drink some water from the river, Walker and I search our bags for something to eat. When we come up with nothing appealing, Walker grabs his crossbow and stalks off. He returns twenty minutes later with a wild jack rabbit.

I've got a campfire going already, and Walker and I begin the process of preparing lunch. I almost feel bad for the poor animal, but we have to do what we can for survival. And truth be told, it's not my first rabbit, and it's not half-bad either.

"How did you get so good at using a crossbow?" I ask Walker out of curiosity as we eat.

"Archery," he replies with a smile. "My father taught me the sport when I was young. It was something we both enjoyed."

A shadow crosses his face, and I know from experience that he's thinking of someone he has lost. "When did you lose him?"

"Soon after my youngest was born," he replies. "He was sick for a long time and heartbroken after my mother passed two years before that."

"I'm sorry. I know that had to be hard."

"It was, but it was also a relief that his suffering ended. I'm glad he got to see both his granddaughters, and that he's not here to witness what Astoria has become."

"It'll be good again," I say. "I won't leave here until it is. And not to mention that I can't leave anyway."

"You're stuck with us, pal," Walker says, a smile coming back to his face.

Out of habit, I reach for my wallet to take out Buffy's picture. I always reach for it when I'm feeling homesick. But when I slide the photo out of its pocket, it slips from my fingers.

Walker picks up the fallen picture and glances at it for a moment before handing it back to me.

"Thanks."

"She's a looker."

"She saved my life more times than I know. I don't know what I did to deserve her."

"You're a good man, Angel. You deserve to have love in your life."

"Yeah, well, I made some mistakes too, and I wasn't always such a good guy. But Buffy…well, she changed my life."

"Tell me about her. What's she like?"

I smile. "Stubborn."

"What woman isn't?" Walker laughs.

"She gave my life purpose. Before I met her, I didn't care if I lived or died. Then all I wanted to do was to keep her safe. Even though she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself and could even kick _my_ ass. I've never loved anyone like I love her."

"You'll see her again."

"I know. It's just hard. The waiting. You know?"

Walker nods. "Yeah."

"This must be hard for you too. You've been away from Alicia and your girls for so long."

"It is, but Alicia understands why I have to do this. We both want Astoria to be the wonderful place that it used to be. We have to restore Astoria to its former glory for the sake of our girls. They deserve to have a place where they can feel safe and where they can be free to be kids. You know?"

I nod. "I get it. At least you two get to have a reunion between trips, huh?"

Walker grins. "Oh yeah. We enjoy it. Though there's one small complaint about our reunions."

"Oh? What's that?"

"Those bunkers are too damn small and offer no privacy at all."

I laugh, but I sympathize for him.

* * *

Another morning comes. Walker and I leave the horses at our makeshift camp and set out to hunt some breakfast down. Armed with my axe, and Walker with his crossbow, we make our way through a dense area where boris tend to hide. We're so hungry though, we'll settle for just about any sort of meat.

"Don't know how you did this," Walker says as he follows me.

"You've been out on the road before," I remind him.

"Yeah, but having to hunt every single morning just for breakfast? Man, that's hell. At least when we take short journeys, we can pack a little food with us."

I laugh. "It's tough, I'll give you that. I managed to survive though."

There's some movement in the bushes up ahead. It's probably just a bird, but it's worthy enough to check out. I point it out to Walker and together, we go to investigate.

"Is it something we can kill?" Walker asks as he peers behind me.

I once again see some movement, then see a small bird jump from one branch to another. "No, just a bird." As I turn my head, something white and oval-shaped catches my eye. I look more closely, and my heart sinks. I know what this is. _Dragon egg._

No sooner after I spot the first one, I see a second and a third until finally, I spot at least a couple of dozen.

"Walker, be still," I whisper.

Walker gives me a worried expression. "What is it?"

I point to the overgrown brush and weeds. Walker's eyes widen. "There must be fifty of them."

"Or more, and there's probably a mama dragon somewhere."

I spot more eggs in another section of bush, and it is clear to me what this is: a dragon's nest. Or maybe more than one. Hell, a whole colony perhaps.

"What do we do?" Walker asks.

"It's morning. Wherever Mama Dragon is, she's probably sleeping. Now's our chance. Do you have your axe on you?"

"Yes, I brought it just in case," Walker says, exchanging his crossbow for a different weapon.

"Good. I think we have work to do. And we better do it fast."

Breakfast now forgotten, I take my axe and swing at one of the eggs. It quickly becomes a gooey mess. Then I smash another and another. Walker follows my lead.

Together for the next ten minutes or so, we clear a path and leave a trail of smashed dragons eggs in our wake. It feels as if the task is never-ending. As soon as we smash one egg, we find a dozen more in another location.

"Uh, Angel?"

The nervous tremble in Walker's voice alerts me. "What is it?"

"Come here. You should see this."

Walker is peering behind some bushes. I walk over to him to see what has him alarmed.

"There," he says, pointing.

I move a branch aside, and my heart sinks. Before us is a large valley, miles and miles across it seems. And in that valley are literally hundreds of dragons. It would seem that not only are they breeding at a rapid pace, but their numbers have drastically multiplied too.

It takes us both a moment to stop staring, for all we can seem to do is watch them. Most are sleeping, but the ones that are awake are quite obviously mating. No wonder we were seeing so many dragon eggs…

"Angel, I know we can kill one dragon, and I know that we can kill two. But this many?" Walker laughs, though not as if the situation is funny. "This is impossible. I don't think we even have enough weaponry to kill this many."

"We should probably get out of this area. I don't think it's safe here."

"I agree," Walker says, nodding eagerly.

We trackback and pass the gooey remains of the eggs we destroyed. I keep my eye out for any we missed, but we were thorough for the most part.

Behind me, Walker trips and falls to the ground.

"You okay, man?" I ask.

Walker nods as he picks himself up. "Yeah. Just tripped over a tree root."

I look to the ground at the tree root he tripped over, but something about it looks odd. It doesn't look like a tree root at all. It looks like a tail.

 _Oh god._

Looking up, I see an angry-looking dragon staring down at us. One of the mothers, I presume. She snorts, evidently pissed off that we disturbed her nest.

"Uh, Walker, that wasn't a tree root."

Walker's blue face turns pale. "It wasn't?"

I shake my head. "Don't look now, but I suggest we run."

The two of us take off running. Somewhere above us, I hear the wings of the dragon flapping in the air. The trees offer us some protection, as it's hard for her to see us. But I know just one puff of fire and things could quickly turn very bad for us.

We continue to run, propelled by adrenaline and the will to live. At some point, we outrun the dragon, and both stop under the shelter of a rock to catch our breaths.

"Man, I thought she was going to kill us," Walker says.

I peer out from the rock, surprised that the dragon seemed to give up on us so easily. It's then that I spot her. She's a good distance away, but she's sitting on her haunches and watching the forest.

"Do you see her?" Walker asks.

"Yeah. She knows we're hiding. I think she's waiting for us to come out."

Suddenly, a strange noise fills the air. I look at the dragon and realizing the noise is coming from her. It's almost as if she's calling out for help. Beyond the dragon, I see the tree branches sway. I know the wind isn't moving. It's a dragon moving those branches. And there's more than one coming.

I look to Walker. "Okay, here's the plan. We're going to _calmly_ walk back to our campsite. I feel that if we move slow, there's less of a chance they'll spot us. We only run if we need to. Got it?"

"Okay. Then what?"

"Then we quickly gather our gear, get the horses, and get the hell out of this area."

We make it back to camp without incident. Walker and I both hurriedly work together to gather our belongings. I almost start to think I overreacted and that the dragons are no longer a threat to our immediate safety.

I thought wrong.

Somewhere not far behind us, we both hear the footsteps of a dragon. Or dragons, rather. There are more than one of them.

Walker looks at me alarmed.

"We need to go. _Now_!"

Without haste, the two of us mount our horses and urge them to run as fast as their hooves can. This poses no difficulty, as the sounds of the dragons behind us have spooked the horses. Both of them take off at a hurried pace. When a nearby bush burst into flames, the horses run faster.

Eventually, the horses tire and stop. Luckily for us, we've outrun the dragons. We all take a moment to catch our breath.

* * *

"Do you think we lost them?" Walker asks as he casts a worried glance behind us.

"The horses seem to think so."

Both mares are visibly tired. We're not going anywhere for a while.

"That was a fun way to start the morning," Walker says sarcastically. "I guess now we're going to have to go around them."

"Actually, I don't think that's a possibility."

"Why not?"

"Because I remember that valley. I spent days there. It's huge. And the river cuts right through it."

"So you're suggesting we go through it?"

I shake my head. "No, that would be a suicide mission."

"So what option does that leave?"

"We're going to have to go back."

"But what about finding Cronus? Are we abandoning the mission?"

"No. If anything, I'm more convinced the Invaders have something to hide out here. But we can't get past those dragons."

"So...?"

"So we find a way to kill them. We need to go back for help."

"How will we do that?"

"I don't know. But we better find out a way. We can't leave that many dragons out there. Leaving one or two? That's fine. But leaving this many? They'll be all over Astoria at the rate they're breeding."

* * *

Carter and another man named Sullivan are on guard when Walker and I bring our horses up the hill. Both men seemed surprised to see us.

"You're back?" Carter says, half question, half statement.

I dismount from my horse and wipe the sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. "We had to cut out journey short. We ran into a problem."

"A big one," Walker says. "And multiply that by a thousand."

"Invaders?" Sullivan asks.

I shake my head. "No. Dragons. There must be a hundred or more of them in the forest valley."

"And they're breeding at an alarming rate," Walker adds. "We destroyed as many nests as we could find, but there are surely more."

"We need to be proactive and take care of this problem or it's going to get much worse."

"Maybe they'll stay in the forest," Sullivan says.

"No, they won't. With that many of them, they'll compete for resources and continue to spread out over Astoria. It's likely the only reason the majority of them are together now is that it appears to be mating season for them."

"So what should we do?" Carter asks me.

"I'm going to call a meeting, and that's what we're going to figure out."

* * *

"Can't we just get rid of them when we get our magic back?" voices one of the men at the meeting I call later that day.

"Yeah, it'll be a whole lot easier to get rid of them with magic than trying to kill them and endangering our lives," Grayer agrees.

"I'm sure it will," I say. "But I don't think we can afford to let the problem get any bigger. If we ignore them, they'll continue to breed. Soon enough, no part of Astoria will be safe."

"So how are we going to kill them?" Brutus asks. "It's one thing to kill one or two, but a hundred of them? Even if all of us were armed with crossbows, I don't think we have that many arrows."

"But we do have fire," Roman says. "What about a controlled burn?"

There's a murmur of agreement in the room as several like the idea.

"That's one of the options Walker and I discussed, and honestly, I think it's our best option. It'll take out several of them at once."

"But can't they just fly away?" Grayer says. "Look, Angel, I'm not saying it's a terrible idea, but those beasts have wings. What's to stop them from going?"

"We're not going to kill all of them. There's no way we could. And yes, I'm sure some will probably get away. But we do have a good chance of killing many of them if we act soon. It's evidently mating season, and they're otherwise occupied."

"But what if they fly away and take out their anger on us?" asks a man in the back.

"We have to be prepared for that possibility, which is why we need to be smart about this. So if anyone has any ideas on how to immobilize them, I'm open to suggestions."

"I may have an idea," Roman says.

"I'm listening."

"Somnus. It's a flowering herb in our world. Althea uses it as a sleep aid, and it's quite plentiful in the summer. And it's potent. Just a small amount will put a man to sleep for the night."

I smile, glad that the beginnings of a plan are taking shape. "That's very good to know. We're going to need to gather this herb on a large scale."

"But how can we be sure the dragons will ingest it?" Brutus asks.

I smile again. "The same way the Invaders tried to poison us. There's a lake in that valley. Looks as if the dragons were congregating around it. We'll dispense the herb in that lake because the dragons will drink from it."

* * *

It takes days of careful planning, but finally, we are ready.

The hardest part will be polluting the lake with the somnus. We decide to do this in the morning when the dragons are naturally least active. Sure enough, most are dozing, though there are still a few that seem to be otherwise occupied with each other.

A few of us dump the herbs in the lake without incident. When we return, several are eager to get started.

"Can't we start the burn now?" someone asks. "Most of them are already sleeping."

I shake my head. "No, I don't think it's a good idea. They may be sleeping, yes, which is what we want, but it's not a deep sleep. The second they sense danger to themselves, they'll bolt."

A few others agree with me, and so, we wait.

And wait.

And wait.

At high noon, a sheen of sweat lines my forehead. If I'm this thirsty and hot, surely the dragons must be as well. And finally, several of them rouse and head to the lake for a drink.

"About damn time," I hear Grayer mutter.

We wait longer, and many of the men I can tell are impatient. Hell, the waiting is grating on my nerves too. But if we don't do this right, we might as well not do it at all.

And if we can't put a dent in their population, they'll surely put a dent in ours. That's something I'm not willing to let happen.

I watch one dragon in particular as he lazily makes his way to the lake. He takes a drink, then returns to where he was before.

"I don't think it's working," another man grumbles.

"Just give it some time," Roman says.

I turn my gaze to another dragon. He takes slow steps, and his gait is unbalanced. "Look at that one," I point.

The dragon then stops and seems rooted in one spot. Suddenly, he wobbles. Seconds later, the great beast falls to the ground. His heavy body creates a thundering thud.

Soon after, more dragons seem to topple. The herbs are working.

"Let's go!" Roman says.

Together, we start the controlled burn. I myself don't know much about controlled burns, but many of the men here are from the Forest District, and they know exactly what they're doing.

It's not long before we have the dragons encircled in a fire. We wait with anticipation as the flames move closer.

* * *

I can't seem to do anything but watch.

The sound is deafening. Horrible squeals and howls of agony fill the air as the fire engulfs hundreds of dragons.

A number of them do fly off. It was inevitable. But many of the ones who got away are injured. I saw one fly away with his tail on fire.

This is not the last we've seen of the dragons, but a good number of them won't bother us anymore.

* * *

The valley is black and littered with the charred carcasses of the dragons who did not survive.

While some men stay behind to put out the fire, others head back.

Walker stands up when he sees me and gives me a questioning look. "Now what, Angel?"

I look to the sky. The sun is setting, but I can still feel its warmth baking my skin. And I already know it won't last. The summer is flying by, and too much time has already passed due to the dragon incident. By the time we make it to the other side of the forest, the season will have already changed. And after last winter, I'm not too keen on getting hypothermia again.

I look back at Walker, who is waiting for instruction. "I think our mission has been postponed."

"Good," Grayer says as he walks past us. "Maybe we need to focus on fighting the home fires rather than exploring Astoria."

"Ignore him," Walker says as Grayer walks off. "I don't think we've wasted our time. Hell, if anything, it's a good thing we ran into all of those dragons."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well just like you said. If we had left them here, who knows what would have happened? Come next spring, they could have been all over Astoria."

I nod. "At least there's a silver lining somewhere."

Walker grabs his gear and smiles at me. "Maybe hunting for food will be a lot easier now. Less dragons to dodge. Not to mention we might have more animals to hunt. The dragons were depleting our resources."

I turn back and glance at the dead dragons again. Hundreds of them perished. Still not all, but at least I feel that we accomplished something. We may not have defeated the Invaders yet, but we've killed a lot of the dragons they've brought to this world.


	37. Separation Anxiety

**a/n:** There's really not much to this chapter. It's mostly just a random selection of scenes I didn't want to delete. Some chapters will be this way.

I am happy to say though that I'm near completion of the outline of this story, which means hopefully updates will be much quicker! There are a few chapters and scenes I need to work on, but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel! My goal is to have this story completed sometime this summer.

Well, enough of me rambling. Since this is a short chapter, I'll aim to get the next one posted soon. Enjoy. :)

* * *

 **CHAPTER 37 - SEPARATION ANXIETY**

 ** _August 2002_**

 _Dear Journal,_

 _Back to school tomorrow. I dread it. And because of the classes I'm taking, I can no longer work around my mother's and sister's schedules. That means I have no choice but to put Liam in daycare. Liam's never been in a daycare before. He's always had family and close friends to babysit him. I don't know how he will handle it. Or me for that matter. I don't like to be away from him for even a moment. And now I have to go for hours and not see my baby boy? How can I possibly do this?_

 _Liam consumes every waking thought I have. When I'm away from him, I'm constantly worrying about him. Is he okay? Even though I know he's in good hands, I still worry about my baby. And now I have to let strangers take care of him._

 _Oh, I met the staff at the daycare, and they all seem like really nice ladies, but they don't know Liam like I do._

 _If only Angel were here, then maybe I wouldn't feel so bad._

 _Sometimes, I like to imagine how our life would be if Angel were around. Maybe he'd start up Angel Investigations again, only in Sunnydale this time. Or maybe he'd go with my idea of opening a martial arts studio. But no matter what he'd do, he'd take Liam with him. I could see them now in my mind: Angel showing his young son karate moves. Or Liam sprawled out on the floor with crayons, making marks in all of Angel's dusty old books while Angel tries to confer with a client._

 _But it's not going to happen. At least not right now. Maybe someday. I hope…_

* * *

Outside, a thunderstorm rages.

Liam, frightened by the noise, wakes up, clamoring for my attention. "Mama!"

I wrap my arm around him, and Liam cuddles closer to me, grabbing a fistful of my shirt and clutching it tight, holding on for dear life, while the thumb on his other hand goes straight into his mouth.

I kiss him on the forehead, whispering words of comfort into his ear. "Don't worry, Liam. You're safe."

Liam is a very clingy toddler. I suppose that's partly my fault. I don't much like him out of my sight either. He's this little miracle that Angel and I both created, and I want to keep him safe. Always.

Sometimes he'll point to Angel's picture, and he'll look up at me with that inquisitive look in his eye. "Daddy?" he'll ask me.

"Yes, that's your daddy."

"Where daddy?"

It's hard when Liam asks me questions like that. There's nothing I can say that will help him understand, but he senses his absence, and maybe, perhaps, is fearful that I will go too.

Which is why I dread today. I'm not so sure how well Liam will handle daycare. I'm not so sure how I will handle it myself for that matter.

* * *

Liam holds my hand tightly, gazing at the room with a wary look on his face. Inside the colorful room, other children his age are playing, but Liam doesn't want to join in.

I help Liam find his cubby and hang his little book bag and jacket onto the hooks.

"Put your blanket in there too, baby," I tell him, and Liam places one of his old baby blankets on the bottom shelf.

I stay with him for a while, and we sit on a red beanbag chair and read a few books together until I realize the time. I have just enough time to drive to campus, find a parking space, and make it to my first class without being late.

"Liam, Mommy has to go to class now."

The worrisome expression on his face returns. He senses I'm leaving. Liam grabs another book from the shelf and hands it to me. "Read."

I put the book back on the shelf, knowing I've got to stay firm. I can't give in. It'll only make this more difficult.

"No, sweetie, it's time for Mommy to go."

When I stand up, Liam gets up to follow me.

This is really, really hard.

I pick up Liam to give him a goodbye kiss. "I'll be back to pick you up this afternoon. I promise."

The moment I put Liam down, one of the teachers kneels down to distract Liam with a toy. Liam, however, stares at me with confusion. He doesn't understand why I'm walking to the door. And then, he begins to wail. The other adults in the room don't seem fazed by it. I guess they've seen this scene before.

Suddenly, I remember something I forgot, and I reach for my bag. "Liam, Mommy can't stay. But guess who can stay with you?" I pull Mr. Gordo out of my bag, and Liam's crying stops, momentarily comforted by something familiar. I'm so glad I remembered that little pig. I knew Mr. Gordo would come in handy, and perhaps save the day.

He takes the pig, holding him close to his chest.

"Tell you what, Liam. When I come to pick you up this afternoon, we'll go out for ice cream. Okay?"

I kiss Liam on his cheek, wet from the tears still rolling down, and look him in the eye. "It's goodbye only for now, Liam. Okay? I'll see you this afternoon."

Liam starts to wail again and grabs hold of my legs. The teacher gently picks him up and gives me a nod, telling me it's okay to go. He'll be just fine.

"Say goodbye, Liam," the teacher says, but Liam continues to cry, holding on to Mr. Gordo as if his life depended on it.

I wave goodbye to Liam, trying to ignore his pleas as he cries, and step out into the hallway.

" _Mama! Mama!_ " Liam cries over and over, and I stand outside the door, crying myself.

"First day?"

I quickly gain my composure, looking to the elderly woman, probably a grandmother, giving me an empathic look.

"How can you tell?"

"Just a hunch. Don't worry, sugar. He'll be just fine," the woman assures me. "By the time you get to your car, he'll already have forgotten how upset he was. It gets better."

I really hope she's right.

* * *

When I go to pick up Liam later that afternoon, I'm stunned at what I see. My Liam, the clingiest toddler in the world, is perfectly content building a structure out of cardboard blocks. I watch him unnoticed for a moment, seeing him place a red rectangular block on top of another with intent precision.

"Hi, Liam."

Liam looks up, his face brightening when he sees me. "Mama!" He gets up from his spot on the floor and runs toward me, but instead of hugging me, he grabs my hand, pulling me to the carpet area. Liam leads me to his block structure.

"Liam, that's amazing! You did that?"

Liam hands me a block, wanting me to play too.

"It's time to go home, Liam."

"No!" Liam sits down on the floor again, piling another cardboard block on top of his structure.

Unbelievable. He didn't want to stay here this morning, and now, he doesn't want to leave.

"Liam, do you want ice cream?"

This gets his attention. "Yeah!"

"Okay, well let's put the blocks up and we can go. You can play with them again tomorrow."

I start to put the blocks back on the shelf, and Liam follows my lead.

When the block center is finally put back together, Liam says his goodbyes and I help him gather his things from his cubby.

"Gordo!" Liam says, grabbing the stuffed pig from out of his cubby.

"That's right, don't want to leave him here."

Once his things are gathered and Mr. Gordo is ready to go, Liam takes my hand, letting me lead the way.


	38. Sick Day

**a/n:** There's really not much to this chapter either, though I did include a B/A flashback which I enjoyed. It's nothing sexy though so don't be disappointed.

Enjoy!

* * *

 **CHAPTER 38 - SICK DAY**

 ** _December 2002_**

I'm in class when my cell phone vibrates. When I see it's the daycare calling, I quietly get out of my seat and slip out the back door. It's one of those auditorium type classrooms and I'm in the last row, so no one really notices me.

Before I answer the phone, I'm already worried. The daycare would only call me if there was a problem.

A few moments later, I slip back into the classroom, gather my belongings, and hightail it out of there. But I'm not looking where I'm going apparently, because when I turn the corner, I bump into someone and drop all my books.

"Buffy?"

Of course. It's Riley. "Sorry, Riley. I'm sort of in a hurry."

I reach down to collect my books, and Riley kneels down to help. He doesn't make a joke about me dropping my books this time. "Is something wrong? You look a little worried."

"Liam's sick. I have to go pick him up at daycare."

Riley stands up and hands me the rest of my books. "I'm sorry. I hope he feels better."

"Thanks. It's probably just one of those stomach bugs that kids get all the time, you know? But they said he has a fever—god, I'm so stupid! I should have known he was sick when he was all quiet this morning! I should have realized he wasn't feeling good."

"Hey, don't blame yourself. He probably wasn't feeling as bad this morning."

"I gotta go."

"Of course."

"See you later." I grip my books tightly as to not drop them again and rush out of the building.

* * *

Liam's classroom is quiet, save for the sounds of children playing outside.

"Mama?" I hear Liam whimper.

I find him lying on the red beanbag chair, looking pitiful and pale. The teacher sitting on the floor beside him rubs his back, and when she sees me, looks relieved.

"Liam, your mama's here." I rush over to my little boy and gather him into my arms. Liam in turn, throws his arms around my neck as I scoop him up.

I kiss Liam's forehead, frowning at how warm it feels, and give the teacher a grateful look. "Thanks for calling me. If I had known he was sick, I wouldn't have brought him in today."

"Sometimes these things come on suddenly," the teacher says. "There's been a bug that's been going around. A few of the other children have been sick this week."

I look down at Liam, who seems happy at my arrival, but still looks pitiful. He rests his head on my shoulder as he sucks his thumb. "Ready to go home, Liam?"

Liam doesn't answer, so I know he must be feeling really bad.

"Bye, Liam. I hope you get to feeling better."

Liam glances at his teacher, then whimpers as he burrows his face into my neck.

* * *

On the way home, I drag Liam into the pharmacy and give my mom a call. There I am, standing in the middle of the medicine aisle juggling Liam, my purse, and my cell phone as I browse the complicated selection of different medicines.

Mom, as always, knows exactly which one to get. It's times like these I'm so grateful to have her around.

At the cash register, I give in and buy a candy bar for Liam. He doesn't feel like eating it now, which means he must really be sick, but I'll let him have it later when he's feeling better.

At home, I help Liam put on his pajamas, give him some medicine to bring down his fever, and tuck him into bed. I put a towel over the sheet just in case he gets sick. He's already thrown up once since we got home. Then I sit down on the bed next to him and place a cold cloth on his forehead as I try to get him to fall asleep.

* * *

 _I found Angel lying in bed. About a dozen tissues are piled up in a trash can by his nightstand._

 _He caught my cold._

" _I'm sick," he said, as if I didn't already know._

 _I walked over to him and sat down on the edge of his bed. "I told you not to kiss me!" I couldn't help the laughter in my voice. I warned him this would happen._

" _Yeah, I know. I should've listened to you. I haven't had a cold in over two hundred years. I forgot how bad they can be. I can't breathe, my head hurts, my throat's sore…"_

" _Aww, poor baby."_

" _Do I feel warm? I think I feel warm."_

 _I placed my hand over Angel's forehead. "Yeah, you do feel a little warm. You probably have a low-grade fever like I did."_

 _Angel groaned, from what, I wasn't sure. Pain? Misery? Probably both._

" _Well guess what? I'm done with all my classes for today, so that means I can stay here and take care of you."_

 _Angel looked up at me and smiled. "That would be great. I love you."_

 _He reached for me and tried to pull me down to him for a kiss, but I pulled away. "Uh-uh! No way! I'm still getting over my cold! I'm not about to get sick again!"_

" _But it's the same cold you gave me. You should have immunity to it."_

" _I'm not taking any chances. Besides, I have something that's better than sex."_

" _Doubtful."_

 _I unzipped the lunch bag I brought with me and took out a thermos. "I have Mom's soup."_

" _Joyce made me soup?"_

" _Yeah."_

" _But Joyce doesn't like me."_

" _What? Of course she likes you!"_

" _No, she doesn't like me. I'm the guy who took her oldest daughter's virginity, so therefore, she doesn't like me."_

" _You're crazy. She made you soup, didn't she? She doesn't make soup for people she hates."_

" _Well then she likes me but she doesn't approve of our relationship."_

" _Just eat the soup," I told him as I held out a spoonful for him, which he gladly accepted. "Good?"_

 _Angel frowned. "I can't taste it."_

" _Aww, because you're all stopped up."_

" _The best soup in the world and I can't even taste it."_

 _I couldn't help but laugh again. "That's the price you pay for kissing me when I was sick."_

* * *

When Liam was really little, sometimes the only way to get him to fall asleep was to hold him in the rocking chair Mom had bought at a yard sale for twenty dollars. Best twenty dollars ever spent.

We still have the chair, and it sits in the corner of my room. Dawn keeps telling me to get rid of it, but I know better. I still use it.

Liam, finally asleep after a restless afternoon, rests his little head against my chest with his thumb in his mouth as I rock us back and forth. I place my hand on his forehead to see if he's warm.

There's a soft knock on the door, and moments later, there's a sliver of yellow light in the doorway as Mom pokes her head into the bedroom. "I just thought I'd come in and check to see how Liam was feeling."

"I think his fever finally broke."

Mom walks over to us, placing a gentle hand on Liam's forehead. "That's good news."

"He's been sleeping for just a little while. Rocking him in this chair was about the only way I could get him to fall asleep. Just like when he was a baby."

Mom sits on the corner of my bed. "Did he eat anything?"

I nod. "Yeah, your soup. He managed to hold that down without throwing it up. In fact, I think that's when he started to feel a little better."

"I'm telling you, my soup is like a miracle. It'll cure whatever ails you."

"I think I'm still going to keep him home tomorrow, even if he's feeling well. Just in case, you know?"

"I think that's a good idea. Do you need me to take some time off work and watch him for you?"

"No, that's okay. I'll just get class notes from someone else."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

I kiss Liam on the forehead. He twitches in his sleep but doesn't wake up.

"I was so scared today when I saw the daycare was calling me. I knew it had to be something bad. I'm just glad it wasn't anything worse than this."

I look up at Mom, who's oddly, smiling. "What?"

"I'm just so proud of you, Buffy. Seeing you with Liam, seeing how good you are with him, it makes me feel like maybe I've done something right as a mother."

"Well I couldn't have done it without your help. Not every mother would let her knocked up teenage daughter move back home. We will eventually get our own place, I promise."

Mom stands up kisses me on the forehead. "Well for the record, I love having you here, and you and Liam can stay here for as long as you need to. I want you to finish school. You have to promise me that, Buffy. Your education is so important."

"I will. Thanks, Mom."

"I think I'm going to head to bed now."

"Yeah, me too. I'm just going to sit here for a few more minutes."

"Goodnight, honey."

"Goodnight."

Mom closes the door behind her, leaving Liam and I alone again. I brush his hair out of his face and watch as he happily sucks on his thumb, which he seems to prefer now over paci. Everyone keeps telling me to break him of this habit now but I don't have the heart to do that.

Liam twitches again and makes a little moan, but if he awoke, he apparently went right back to sleep. I stand up and carry him over to the bed, tucking him in on his side of the bed. I even lay Mr. Gordo next to him.

"You'll be better in the morning," I whisper to him as I kiss him goodnight.

* * *

Liam watches cartoons on the couch while I catch up on some of my reading for class. I've learned to tune out the sounds of the television. Oddly enough, I prefer a little background noise when I'm studying. My years of "studying" at the Bronze have served me well.

There's a knock on the door, and I place my highlighter in the book to mark my place and get up to answer the door. Riley's standing on the doorstep when I open it.

"Riley. Hey, come in."

"I'm sorry I didn't call first," he says as he walks through the door. "But I figured when you weren't in class you'd be here."

"I'm keeping Liam home for the day after how sick he was yesterday." I nod toward the living room, and Riley peeks in.

"So uh…are _you_ watching cartoons or is Liam?"

"Huh?"

He looks to the couch, and I follow his gaze to see Liam sound asleep.

"I didn't realize he was asleep. No wonder he was so quiet!"

I pick the remote from the coffee table and turn the television off, then wrap Liam up with his blanket, which was halfway falling off the couch.

Once he's tucked in, I head to the dining room and Riley follows.

"So, what brings you by?"

Riley hands me the folder in his hand. "I just thought I'd stop by and bring you the notes from Callahan's lecture today."

"You took notes for me?"

"Actually, no. Callahan asked me to make some copies for him, and while I had his notebook, I thought I'd just copy his lecture notes too."

"These are _Callahan's_ notes?"

Riley laughs. "Yeah. Might be some test answers there, I don't know. I could probably get in trouble, so don't tell anyone I did this for you."

"Oh my god, Riley. That's so nice of you. But you didn't have to do this for me. I could have just gotten the notes from that smart girl with glasses."

"It was no trouble. Besides, I don't want you to fall behind on your classes. I know it's got to be hard for you being a mother, going to school, and not to mention saving the world on a regular basis all at the same time. I just wanted to help."

"There's always a lot on my plate. I've sort of grown accustomed to it. But thank you. I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome. So uh, how is your little boy?"

"He's getting better. I think it was one of those twenty-four hour bugs kids get all the time, you know? He'll probably be well enough to go back to daycare tomorrow."

"That's good. I'm glad it wasn't something more serious. I was worried about the little guy. You looked so scared yesterday when you left class."

"Yeah, I'm glad it wasn't something more serious too."

"Well look, I should go. So will I see you in class Thursday?"

I walk Riley to the door. "Yeah, I'll be there. I'll see you later."

"Bye."

I close the door behind Riley, then lean against it and stare at the notes for a moment. I still sometimes feel awkward around Riley, knowing he has these feelings for me that I can't return. But once in a while, the awkwardness is totally worth it. _Callahan's notes._ "This is awesome."

"Mama?"

In the living room, Liam is awake and sitting up, looking around the room.

I put the notes aside and sit on the couch next to him. "Hey, sweetie, are you feeling better?"

Liam smiles when he sees me, the same smile he gets from his father, then reaches out for me. I scoop Liam into my arms and cuddle him.

"Well you look like you're feeling much better. That makes mama so happy, Liam."

"Happy," Liam says with his face buried into my shoulder.


	39. Sweet Ride

**CHAPTER 39 – SWEET RIDE**

 ** _Spring 2003_**

Deep in the forest, Roman, Carter, Walker, Grayer, and myself go on a hunting expedition. More people have arrived at our bunkers, either through our efforts to rescue them, or through their own means by escaping from the enslaved districts. And with more people arriving to the underground bunkers, there are more mouths to feed. Fortunately with the weather turning warm, there's plenty of game to find.

Up ahead, something red catches my eye. I stop and halt the men's movement.

"Is something wrong, Angel?" Roman asks.

"There's something up ahead. I'm not sure what it is."

Carter, always prepared, reaches into his pocket and hands me his binoculars.

"Thanks." I peer through the binoculars. Seconds later, a smile spreads across my face. It's a car. And from where I'm standing, it looks like a classic.

"What is it, Angel?" Walker asks.

"Nothing bad. Come on!"

I hand Carter back his binoculars and practically run toward it. The men, who all seem curious, follow behind.

When we reach the car, I can barely contain my excitement. "I can't believe it! Would you look at this!"

"Is that an automobile?" Walker asks.

"Yeah. A '69 Camaro to be exact." I run my hand along the exterior, unable to resist feeling the smooth paint job. "Not as nice as my GTX back at home, and I prefer black, but this…" I made a low whistle sound. "This is just as sweet of a ride."

"You know how to drive one of these things?" Roman asks me.

A smile spreads across my face. "Oh yeah, I can definitely drive." I shoot Roman a sideways glance. "You've been holding out on me, Roman. You didn't tell me you had automobiles in Astoria."

"We don't," he says. "We prefer our horse and carriages. Less complicated."

"Wonder how this got here then."

"Occasionally objects from other worlds end up here," Roman says. "And this is a section of forest we've frequented very little. It's probably been here for many years."

"I've seen these before," Carter says. "Not one that looked like this exactly, but similar. I've been to your world quite a few times. Do you believe it will run?"

I shrug. "Not sure, but there's only one way to find out."

"So we're going to try to drive this?" Walker asks me.

"I think we'd be crazy not to."

"I disagree with that," Grayer says. "In fact, I think you'd be a fool to try to drive that thing!"

"What do you mean?" Walker asks, looking to Grayer.

"You have any idea what kind of noise those things would make? We couldn't possibly sneak up on the enemy with an engine like that rumbling."

"He brings up a good point," Roman says.

I nod. "Okay, that's true. However, for getting around, it might not be such a bad idea. It'll certainly help us cover more ground, and faster. And we can always park it and walk if we need to."

Walker peers into the passenger side window as I open up the front door. "Want to hop in and see if this baby can move?" I ask Walker.

Walker smiles and opens the other door. I'm already inside and with my hands on the steering wheel when he sits down. It's an old car, but otherwise in decent condition. I run my hands around the steering wheel, feeling the power beneath my palms. "This is a nice car."

"How does it run?" Roman asks through the open window.

"Well, it runs on gasoline, and looks like the car has enough. We just need to start it with a key. Or I can hot-wire it. But a key would be easier." I reach up and feel behind the visor, hitting the jackpot when a key falls down into my lap. "Well would you look at that? If I were back at home, I'd buy a lottery ticket because this is my lucky day."

"Do you think this automobile belongs to someone?" Walker asks.

"Yeah, looks like it belongs to us now." I wink at Walker, then place the key into the ignition.

* * *

" _Okay, that movie reminded me of something we've seen before," Buffy said as she leaned against my shoulder._

" _That artistic movie we saw last year? The one you thought was supposed to be about food?"_

 _Buffy nodded. "Yep, that's the one."_

" _Well it was artistic. In a foreign movie sort of way."_

" _You mean how everyone was naked?"_

 _I laughed. "Yeah. Speaking of, that gives me an idea." I stopped walking long enough to kiss Buffy in the middle of the parking lot._

" _Maybe we should go over to your place," Buffy whispered against my lips._

" _Yeah, I think so. There's some things I want to do, very badly, to you." I kissed her again._

 _Buffy lightly pushed me back. "Okay, but first you have to drop me off at my dorm. I need to pick up some things."_

" _Why? It's not like you're going to be needing any clothes."_

 _Buffy laughed. "I know that. But after all of that soda and popcorn, I really need to brush my teeth!"_

" _Alright," I said as I placed my arm around Buffy and walked her over to my car. "I'll take you to your dorm so you can pick up your toothbrush. Why don't you leave one at my place?"_

" _I do have one at your place…in L.A. I don't have one for your place here. I need to get one."_

 _Once we reached the car, I opened the passenger door for her._

" _Hey, can I drive?" Buffy suddenly asked._

" _You…want to drive?"_

" _Yeah, why not? I've never drove your car before."_

" _Hmm."_

" _What? You're not like one of those people that won't let anyone but you drive their car, are you?"_

" _Do you even have your license?"_

" _Yeah. I got it over the summer. I would have told you, but we weren't really speaking then…"_

" _Right." I felt a wave a guilt wash over me. I hate being reminded of what a jerk I had been to Buffy. I decided to quickly change the subject. "I just didn't know you had your license. You always take the bus to see me in L.A."_

" _Well that's because I don't have a car right now. But Mom's getting a new car and says she'll give me the Jeep when she does. So, can I? I haven't been behind the wheel in a while. I could really use the practice."_

 _I hesitated for a moment. I had been reluctant for even Cordy to drive, but seeing the way Buffy was looking at me, I wasn't sure I could refuse._

" _Please," Buffy said as she leaned closer to me._

" _Alright, you can drive." I placed my keys into the palm of her hand._

" _Yes! This is going to be so much fun!"_

 _I climbed into the passenger seat and watched as Buffy went around to the driver's side. I hoped it would be fun, but I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me otherwise._

* * *

The car doesn't start.

"Well, that figures," I say as I take the key out.

Walker frowns. "Is it broken?"

"It's probably just the battery. Getting it to start was a long shot anyway."

"So it can be fixed?"

"Maybe. We'll figure something out. I'm going to pop the hood and take a look."

"This is a waste of time," Grayer complains. "Shouldn't we be out there finding deer to kill? We have hungry people to feed."

As much as I hate to admit it, Grayer has a point. I get out of the car and Walker follows suit.

"Alright, let's finish our hunt," I tell them men. "But we're coming back to this car when we get a chance. I'm not about to let this opportunity pass us by."

* * *

" _It's a little tiny ding!" Buffy insisted._

 _I stared at the "little tiny ding" in my car and furiously shook my head. "It's a major dent!"_

" _I'm sure it'll pop out!"_

" _You shouldn't have been driving so fast!" I ran my fingers over the dent. "This is car is a classic."_

" _I'm sorry! But I wasn't driving that fast! I was braking!"_

" _You slow down before you turn, not during."_

" _Well that trash can came out of nowhere!"_

" _The trash can was sitting still!"_

" _Well it was dark and I didn't see it until the last minute!"_

" _Because you were going so fast!"_

 _For a moment, both of us were silent, me silently fuming, and Buffy standing across from me with her arms crossed in defense._

" _Okay, look, let's just calm down," I say in what I hope isn't interpreted as an angry tone. "I'm not mad about the car."_

" _Could have fooled me."_

" _Do you even know how fast you were going?"_

" _No, officer! How fast was I going?"_

" _Okay, fine, if that's going to be your attitude, then you're not driving my car again. Give me my keys back!"_

" _Fine, Dad! I won't drive your precious car again!"_

 _Buffy threw the keys at me and stormed off toward campus._

" _I'm not your father!"_

" _You're old!" Buffy shot back, and continued on her way._

 _I tightened my fist around the keys and sighed heavily. Buffy and I have had our share of fights, but never had I thought it would be over a car._

* * *

The next day Walker, Carter, Brutus, and myself venture out into the forest. I ask specifically for Brutus to come with us because I have an idea, and I'll need his strength to pull it off. Times like this I sure do miss my vampire strength.

The Camaro still sits where we left it. I pop the hood and take a look. I have more than a rudimentary knowledge of what makes a car tick and from the looks of it, all this baby needs is a jump start. But of course, we're lacking in the jumper cable department. So plan B it is.

"Can you turn it on?" Walker asks.

"No guarantees, but I want to try something. I'll need your help. But first, we need to find a good hill."

The men look perplexed, but I ignore the question in their eyes as I glance around for a good spot. Lucky for us, there are a lot of hills here as we're so close to the mountains. Just west, I find exactly what I'm looking for.

"Over there. That's perfect."

"What do you need a hill for?" Walker asks.

"We're going to push this car down the hill. Actually, you're going to push it down and I'm going to attempt to start it up."

Walker looks at the hill, then looks at me. I can see from the expression on his face that he already doesn't like this idea. "But, Angel, that's sort of a steep hill. Won't that be kind of dangerous?"

"Risky, sure. But I've faced a lot more dangerous things than a hill. I think I can handle it."

"How is…pushing the car down the hill going to get it started?" Brutus asks.

"I've seen it work before. Look, you're going to push the car, and on the way down, I'll pop the clutch. That'll get it started. Now come on, let's get this car to the top of the hill."

The men nod, albeit a bit reluctantly, and together, we push the car across the forest into position.

"You sure about this, Angel?" Carter asks me. "I know vehicles are very common where you are, but we've gotten along fine without them."

"I'm sure of this, Carter. Listen, if anything, this is going to be a huge advantage for us."

"Good luck," Brutus says.

"Be careful, Angel," Walker says as I slip behind the wheel.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine." I reach behind the seat and fasten the belt. I'm grateful it works. I'll need it.

Walker gives me one last glance before stepping away. I lean out the window and glance towards the back. "Alright, listen, when I give the word, push the vehicle."

Brutus, Walker, and Carter move behind the car.

"Ready when you are," Brutus calls back.

I put the key in the ignition and place my hands around the wheel. This has to work. There's only a small part of me that fears this will not go as planned, but I'm feeling lucky. This will work. I know it will.

When I'm ready, I lean out the window. "Push!"

The Camaro rocks a bit before slowly moving forward. I hold on tight as I feel the vehicle tilt downhill. A second later, the Camaro picks up momentum and begins to roll down the hill. It's moving down the hill a lot faster than I had anticipated, but I'm not scared. I know this will work.

I say a silent prayer as I release the clutch. And finally, it happens. The Camaro starts up. I whoop to myself in excitement. I hadn't realized how much I missed being behind the wheel of a car.

I drive around in circles and wait for the men to catch up. I see them all running down the hill. When they reach the bottom, I brake and put the car in park.

Walker opens the passenger door. "You got it to work!"

"Yeah, so I did! We all did!"

"This is amazing!"

I nod toward the back. "Climb in."

Walker slips into the backseat, followed by Carter. Brutus takes the front passenger seat.

"But will it get us back is the question?" Brutus asks.

"Only one way to find out." I rev the engine a few times and feel grateful that the car still has some gasoline in it.

I shift the car into drive, keeping my foot on the brake. "Oh, one more thing. You might want to all fasten your seatbelts."

Once everyone is strapped in, I let my foot off the brake and head forward. The ride is a little bumpy at first, having to go over some uneven ground. But when we reach the dirt path, the ride is a bit more smoother.

"Wow. This thing can actually move," Carter says in amazement.

"Oh yeah, it does. I knew this car wouldn't disappoint me."

* * *

 _Buffy made it all the way back to her dorm room. I gave her, and myself, some time to cool down. Perhaps I overreacted a bit._

 _She opened the door when I knocked on it, but she didn't look amused._

" _Can I come in?"_

 _Buffy didn't say anything, but left the door open as she walked over to her bed, sitting down and hugging a pillow to her chest._

 _I stepped inside and quietly closed the door behind me, then moved to sit beside her on the bed. Buffy averted her gaze away from me, unable to look me in the face._

" _I'm sorry I yelled at you."_

 _Buffy finally met my gaze. "No, I'm sorry. I was the one who ruined your car."_

 _I laughed. "You didn't ruin my car. It's not that bad."_

" _Really? Because from your reaction, you'd think I'd totaled it."_

 _I reached for her hand, holding her gaze. "Buffy, I wasn't mad about the car. I mean, okay, I was a little upset, but that's not why I was really mad."_

" _Then why did you flip out?"_

" _Buffy, I love you, and I say this in the nicest way possible, but you're a terrible driver."_

 _This got a smile out of her. "I know. Willow won't even ride with me driving. She said once was enough."_

" _Thank god it was only a trash can you hit and not a tree."_

" _You mean you were…just worried about me?"_

" _Worried? Yeah, of course I was! I'd never forgive myself if something bad had happened to you."_

" _Don't blame yourself. I was the one who begged to drive it. And I know I'm a terrible driver. I just don't have a lot of experience. Mom wouldn't even let me get my license when I turned sixteen like everyone else. I guess she didn't think I was mature enough, or maybe she was still punishing me because I got into trouble at school. She said I could get it when I was eighteen. So that's what I did. I got it last summer."_

" _How did you even pass the driver's exam?"_

 _Buffy looked down at her lap. "I may have flirted with the instructor a little."_

 _I couldn't help the roar of laughter coming from me, and Buffy laughed a little too._

" _Okay, here's what we'll do. I'll teach you how to drive…safely. I can't always be the one to do the driving back and forth from here to L.A. And I want to make sure you'll be alright."_

" _You actually trust me behind the wheel of your car again?"_

" _Well…maybe we'll start out in the parking lot."_

" _Hey!" Buffy raised the pillow she had been holding and smacked my arm with it, but then she just laughed. "So, are we done fighting with each other?"_

 _I nodded. "Yeah. I don't want to fight with you, Buffy." I reached across the bed and held her hand, then give her one of my lopsided grins. "I just want to do dirty things to you. Like in that movie we just saw…"_

" _You…" Buffy closed the short distance between us and placed her lips inches from mine. "…read my mind." She kissed me while simultaneously undoing the top buttons of my shirt._

" _Wait." I pulled back to look at her. "We can't here. What about Willow?"_

" _Willow goes to her Wicca meetings Thursday nights. She won't be back for a while." The corner of her lip turned upward as she stared at me. "We have some time."_

* * *

It takes us half the time to make it back, if even that. Roman, with a smile on his face, ambles over to us and leans over my open window. "You got it moving! Look at that!"

"I couldn't have done it without these guys."

Turning to look ahead, I catch Grayer rolling his eyes as he heads back to the tunnels.

Walker follows my gaze. "Forget about him. He's just jealous he didn't find it first. So, when do we get to use this thing?"

"Well, it could probably use a little more repair work, but I would say soon."

"Just when I was getting used to walking everywhere," Walker says, smiling.

* * *

PS: Thank you, LOST, for giving me the idea of pushing a vehicle down a hill to get it jump-started. I don't know much about cars other than what Google and the Honda dealership tell me, so I'm not really sure if that would actually work, but Hurley seems to think so.

Also, I chose a '69 Camaro to be the vehicle Angel finds because apparently, that's the kind of car men drool over, and Angel seems to enjoy classic cars. I once drove a Camaro as a rental vehicle and didn't care for it much because it's not kind to short people, but if you ever want to attract random guys at a gas station, you should drive one of those.

Until 40!


	40. Beyond the Forest

**CHAPTER 40 - BEYOND THE FOREST**

It's time to finally find out what's beyond the forest.

I knew the Camaro would come in handy.

Carter and Walker volunteer to come with me. Walker wants to come because he's eager to finish what we started last year. And Carter comes because he's the only one other than myself who is somewhat familiar with automobiles. Should we have any problems with the Camaro, he's our guy. Though I'm hopeful she'll hold her own.

Since finding the Camaro in the forest, Carter has done some serious upgrades to it. He's also helped me find alternative fuel sources, which is a good thing since the gasoline will only last so long. About the only place we can possibly get gasoline is the Sea District, which is used for some of the fishing boats, and that of course is next to impossible.

At last, the three of us are ready to go. Carter climbs into the passenger seat while Walker gets situated in the back. I turn the key in the ignition and fire up the Camaro. Our road trip begins.

* * *

 _Cordelia poked her head in my office. "Angel, someone's here to see you."_

 _I glanced at the clock and groaned. "Cordy, just tell them we're closed. Tell whoever it is to come back tomorrow."_

" _I'm afraid she won't take no for an answer."_

" _Is it truly an emergency?"_

" _Of course it's an emergency," Buffy said as she strolled past Cordelia and sauntered into my office._

 _Cordelia smiled and walked out of the room._

" _Glad to see me?" Buffy asked as she walked over to my side of the desk and promptly straddled my lap._

" _Very," I said, then kissed her. "And here Cordelia had me thinking I had a client desperate to see me."_

" _No, I'm not a client, but I was pretty desperate to see you."_

" _Must have been for a mid-week visit. Don't you have class?"_

" _I'm playing hooky. Will said she'd take notes. She's an excellent note-taker."_

" _Well it's a nice surprise seeing you." I kissed her again._

 _After a moment or two of a steamy make-out session, Buffy pulled away. "Not here."_

" _Right. Downstairs to my apartment. Now."_

 _Buffy laughed. "No, not yet."_

" _Tease. You're killing me right now. You know that, don't you?"_

 _Buffy laughed again. "We'll get to that portion of the evening later. But for now, I thought we'd take a little road trip. I'm here to kidnap you."_

" _Kidnap me?"_

" _Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way."_

" _Oh, no resistance on my part, I assure you. You can take me anywhere you want."_

" _Good, I was hoping you would say that." Buffy hopped out of my lap and offered her hand. "Come on, let's go downstairs."_

" _Wait, I thought you just said we were going somewhere."_

" _We are, but you'll probably want to pack a small bag first. You know, toothbrush, razor, that sort of thing. You won't necessarily need any clothes." Buffy grinned at me._

* * *

Driving through the forest isn't anything like driving up the PCH. For one, I can't go as fast. And two, with no proper roads, I keep having to dodge rocks and trees. But I manage.

Walker and Carter remain silent for most of the trip. I glance in my rearview mirror and catch a glimpse of Walker, who almost appears carsick. The bumps and uneven ground doesn't help I'm sure.

"How about we take a short break?" I suggest. "Stretch our legs?"

Walker and Carter agree, and I park the Camaro in the shade of a tree.

"I don't think I've been this far in the forest before," Carter says. "It looks…pretty much the same."

"It looks the same," I say, "but when you look closer, you can spot differences. The trees here are more dense. And lighting has hit that tree over there at some point. And if you listen closely, you can hear the trickle of water. We're near the river. And speaking of the river…" I hold up my water bottle.

The three of us head towards the river to fill our water bottles, then sit down in the shade of a large tree for a breather.

"How did manage all of those months here by yourself?" Carter asks.

I shrug. "I don't know. Sometimes I still wonder how myself."

"Were the dragons bad?" Carter asks.

"You know, I actually only saw a dragon once, though I heard it couple of times before I knew what it was. The wolves were the worst to be honest. They'd come in packs at night. I kept my axe close to me when I slept."

The men and I continue to make idle chat, but a few minutes later, a sound alerts me that we might have trouble.

"What is it, Angel?" Walker asks, looking concerned.

"Shh." I listen for the sound again, and there it is: the sound of a tree branch breaking. Something, or someone, is close by.

I look to the tree where I heard the noise, and a spot of black catches my eye. Yellow eyes stare back at me. It's a panther.

The panther hops down from her perch and lands on a rock ledge underneath. Her eyes are still on us.

I had several encounters with these animals during my months in the forest. And just like the wolves, they are much bigger in this world...and faster.

"Angel, should we play dead?" Carter asks, his voice hesitant.

I shake my head. "No, you're thinking of bears. With panthers, you have to make them scared of you. And seeing as how she's looking at us like we're her next meal, we better act fast."

"Should we run?" Walker asks.

"No, because then she'll chase us. Trust me, I know. Just grab a weapon and prepare yourselves." I tighten the grip on my own weapon.

The panther lets out a growl as I raise my weapon. I know that walking away will only give her incentive to run, and she's itching for a chase.

"Angel..." Walker says with a tremble to his voice.

"Just trust me," I tell him. "Make her afraid of you and she won't attack. I promise."

I stare the panther down and hold my axe up higher. "WELL, ARE YOU GOING TO ATTACK OR WHAT?" I shout at the panther.

The panther suddenly jumps down from the ledge and slinks off into the forest.

Walker and Carter breathe a collective sigh of relief.

"That was close," Carter says.

"That was nothing," I say with a smile. "Try being chased by one of those big cats."

* * *

 _Outside, Buffy took my hand and led me to her Jeep._

" _Your mom must have gotten her new car, huh?"_

" _Yes, and now the Jeep is all mine. Now get in. I'm driving."_

" _You're driving?" I give her a look to let I know I'm just teasing her._

" _I drove here, didn't I?"_

" _Well, yes."_

 _Buffy laughed. "Relax. I promise I won't hit any garbage cans. Or cars for that matter. Unless they hit me which I can't make any promises for other drivers."_

" _You sure you don't want me to drive?"_

" _I'm a great driver. I had a really good teacher. Now get in. We're wasting time."_

" _Alright, alright." I threw my duffel into the back and climbed into the passenger seat. Buffy then got behind the wheel and started the engine._

" _Okay, let's hit the road," she said as she backed out of the parking space._

" _So, you've been very vague about where we're going. Aren't you going to give me any hints?"_

" _You'll just have to wait and see. Oh, and do me a favor?"_

" _Sure."_

" _Got your cell phone?"_

 _I reached into my pocket and pulled it out. "Yeah. You need me to make a call?"_

" _Nope." Buffy grinned at me. "I need you to turn it off."_

* * *

Our journey, at times, seems endless. The landscape never seems to change. The days run together with no variation. Only the weather at times brings a change to the monotony. Raining one day. Blistering hot the next. The A/C in the Camero is shot, forcing us to roll down the windows.

But we're making more progress than Walker and I ever did with the horses. And that gives us an advantage.

One afternoon, I spot a tree up ahead. It looks familiar, and when I get closer, I know for sure that I've seen it before. I slow the car down.

"Why are we stopping?" Walker asks.

"This is the place." I turn off the engine and unbuckle my seatbelt. When I get out of the car, Walker and Carter follow suit.

"What place is this?" Carter asks, confused.

"When I first came here to Astoria, it was through a portal. The portal was right over there." I point near a giant tree.

"How can you be sure it was the same place?" Walker asks. "Everything around here looks pretty much the same to me."

"I'm sure. You see that tree over there?"

The men nod.

"You see the way the roots look like they're coming out of the ground? I remember this tree. It was one of the first things I saw when morning came and I saw where the portal had sent me."

"So if the portal was here, what does that mean?" Carter asks.

"It means we're getting closer to finding out what's beyond the forest."

* * *

 _Two hours later after a drive through a deserted highway in the desert, we came up on a building. A hotel. Buffy slowed the car down and pulled in. Right away, she found an open parking space in the front._

" _A hotel? That's where we going?"_

" _I just wanted us to get away for the night."_

" _You know, there's lots of hotels in L.A." I smiled at her._

" _I know, but I just wanted to get away. Far away. Away from the hellmouth. Away from all of the interruptions. Away from all the things that go bump in the night." Buffy inched closer to me. "I just want to be with you tonight." Her lips pressed against mine._

 _I couldn't possibly argue with that._

" _Come on, let's go inside." Buffy abruptly turned away and opened up her door. I got out of the passenger side, and after grabbing our bags, we headed inside._

" _By the way, this is supposed to be a really nice hotel," Buffy whispered as two sliding glass doors moved, allowing us to enter. "There's a pool, a spa, room service, you name it."_

" _And how are the beds?" I asked her. That, in my opinion, was the only thing that mattered._

" _California king size and like sleeping on a cloud," she answered with a smile._

 _As I looked around the hotel, I immediately realized that Buffy didn't need to inform me of its amenities. It was obvious just from looking at the place that it was quite ritzy…and not cheap._

" _Buffy, this looks nice but…expensive."_

" _Well I couldn't have us staying in some hourly joint like our lovely Sunnydale Motel back at home, now could I?"_

" _Of course not. But I'm sure there are perfectly good ones at a better price than this. You don't have to take me to a five-star to impress me."_

" _Nope, we're staying here. Look, it's expensive, yes, but we'll just stay one night."_

" _And you can afford this?"_

" _Yes. My dad felt guilty for missing Christmas and my birthday, and Mom got on his case about not helping me out now that I'm in college, so he sent me some money. He told me to do something fun with it. So I am. Or rather, I'm planning to *do someone* with it." She laughed at her joke._

 _I smiled back at her. "Okay, if you're sure."_

" _I am." Buffy stood on her tiptoes and kissed me. "Now, let's go check in."_

* * *

We decide to leave the car where it is and head out on foot. If Grayer had been right about anything, it was that the Camaro did make some noise. And if we are about to approach enemy territory, we need to be careful.

About two miles away, we notice what appears to be a clearing up ahead along with an uphill climb.

"Angel, I feel this leads to nothing more than a cliff," Carter says. "Maybe we should head south."

"No, let's keep going. I want to see what's at the bottom of this drop-off."

I keep walking, with Carter and Walker trailing behind. The more we walk, the more difficult the climb is.

Finally, I reach the top and move some leaves and branches to get a better view. What I see stuns me. "Carter, Walker, hurry up!"

At my excitement, the men quicken their paces.

"Careful, it is a steep cliff," I warn them. "But look. Look what's down below."

Amid a backdrop of sea and high cliffs is a huge castle-like compound.

Both Walker and Carter seem surprised to see the structure there, as I'm sure they thought we'd turn up with nothing but forest and ocean. But there it is, my suspicions confirmed. The Invaders have set up camp on the other side of Astoria. And from the looks of it, they've been here for a while.

"Look over there," Walker says, pointing to a harbor where several boats are located.

"So that's why I never saw them in the forest. They're going around the island using boats."

"Probably explains why the Sea District has been so overrun with the Invaders," Walker suggests.

"What do we do now?" Carter asks.

I look at the men and grin. "I think we should get a closer look."

* * *

We backtrack our steps and find a path that leads down to the compound. I'm on high alert, unsure of what we'll find. We seem to make the journey without incident. That is, until Walker suddenly yells out.

I want to admonish him for being loud, but I can immediately tell that something is wrong. "What's the matter?"

"Something bit me." When he reaches around his neck, I see it: a tranquilizer dart. He yanks the dart out and stares at it. "What the hell?"

"We need to go. _Now_."

No sooner than we start to run, I feel a sting in my own neck. I keep running, but find myself slowing down. I remember this from before, and I know what's about to happen next. When I turn back to Walker and Carter, I see them lagging behind. Walker is sitting on the ground, and Carter is stumbling on his feet.

I feel my own feet start to grow heavy and have trouble walking myself. Just before I hit the ground, I see a watch tower camouflaged by trees. Bastards saw us the whole time. Unable to walk anymore, I collapse to the ground, and everything turns black.

* * *

When I regain consciousness, I realize that two Invaders have me by the arms and are half-propping, half-dragging me to the compound. Carter and Walker are with me as well, also being dragged in by a group of guards. I struggle against their tight hold, but whatever was in that tranquilizer made me weak, and I can't get away.

"Angel," Walker whispers, a terrified look on his face. "What do we do?"

"Don't worry," I whisper back, though I know my words are no comfort to him.

When we enter the compound, we pass a large foyer before stepping into a much larger room. This place feels like a castle to me, and even more so when I see Cronus sitting at the head of the room. He's in a chair, much like a throne, and he looks displeased to see us here.

"What do we have here?" he asks the guards.

"A couple of trespassers," one of them replies. "We found them in the woods nearby."

"Well, well, you finally found our home base," Cronus says. He stares at the three of us, but he zeros in on me. "I should have known you would be trouble. You're not from this world, and therefore, you're not like the others."

"Nice digs you've got here, Cronus," I say sarcastically. Seconds later, one of the guards slaps me across the face. My cheek stings, but I've had worse. Meanwhile, Walker and Carter look on with terrified, panicked looks.

"Take them downstairs," Cronus orders with a wave of his hand. "We'll execute them at sundown. I need to eat something first."

With that, the guards shuffle off with the three of us in tow and drag us towards a stairwell. I still try to shake them off, but whatever was in that tranquilizer is still coursing through my veins and making me weak.

The guards lead us down a hallway to a dark room. They shove us inside, then pin our hands behind our backs. Seconds later, I feel a rope cutting into my skin as they bound my hands together. I'm still too weak to fight back.

"Is this really necessary?"

The guards ignore my question. Once done, they push us to the floor against the wall.

"Enjoy your last few hours," one of them mutters.

By the time I turn around, they're already closing the door…and locking it.

* * *

The ropes bounding my wrists have rubbed my skin raw, but I still try to work out the knot to free myself. Despite everything that has happened, I don't feel coming here was a mistake. In fact, if anything, we hit pay dirt. Now we know where the Invaders have set up their base. Now maybe we can begin to turn this war around.

Walker and Carter, however, do not share my joy. Carter has been mostly silent, and Walker is on the brink of tears.

"Do you think it's sundown yet?" Walker asks.

"We still have some time," I tell him, though I know sundown must be getting closer. But I don't want to worry Walker and Carter with this news.

"What if I never see Alicia and the girls again? What if this is it? Alicia didn't want me to go this time. Said she had a bad feeling about it. But I volunteered anyway! And I've been away from the girls for so long…"

"Walker, it's okay. We're going to get out of this."

"How?"

"I don't know yet. Just let me think."

"There's an air vent," Carter suddenly says.

I follow Carter's eyes to an air vent in the ceiling. This room is small, so the ceiling is not too high. With one of us standing on the other's shoulders, I think we could reach it.

"Or maybe Angel can jimmy the lock," Walker says. "Don't you keep a bobby pin in your pocket?"

"Normally yes, but I left it in a pair of pants back at the bunkers. Except…" I laugh to myself, and Walker and Carter stare at me in confusion. "I know how we can get out of these ropes. I can't believe I forgot I had it."

"Had what?" Carter asks.

"Myles gave me pocket knife for Christmas."

"What's Christmas?" Walker asks.

"It's a holiday in my world. The children were trying to help me feel at home. Anyway, the point is, I have a pocket knife with me. Now if I could just get it out of my pocket."

"Which pocket is it in?" Carter asks.

"My left."

"Turn around," Carter says. "I'll see if I can get it."

I turn around, and Carter does the same until we're almost back to back. With his bound hands, Carter attempts to retrieve the knife from my pocket.

"Can you get it?" I ask him.

"I think so." Carter moves closer to me. It takes some effort on his part, but finally, he's able to slide the knife out of my pocket. "Got it!"

Carter immediately goes to work at cutting the ropes that bind his wrists. Once free, he cuts my rope and Walker's.

"Thank god," Walker says as he rubs his wrist.

"Thank Myles," I say with a smile. I slip the knife back into my pocket, then grab a handful of the ropes. "Let's take these. We might need them."

"Now how are we going to get out of here?" Walker asks.

"Carter, you think you can open that air vent?"

"I think so."

I hoist Carter up onto my shoulders so that he can reach the vent. I silently hope he hurries up, as my shoulders start to ache from the effort. It's times like this when I miss the strength I had as a vampire. Finally, Carter takes the vent cover off and hands it to Walker.

"Give me some of that rope," Carter says, and Walker hands it to him.

Moments later, I feel the weight lifted off my shoulders as Carter climbs up into the air shaft. When he's up, he drops the rope back down to us and tells us to climb up.

"You go first, Walker." I give Walker a hand, hoisting him up like I did Carter so that Walker can climb up with minimal effort. It's going to take both of them to pull me up using the rope.

"Okay, Angel," Carter calls from above. "We're ready."

I'm just putting my hands on the rope when I hear a sound from outside the door. Seconds later, I hear a voice.

 _Cronus._

I immediately start my ascent up the rope. Walker and Carter are both pulling on the rope.

"Hurry!" I say to them.

Just as I reach the top, the door opens and Cronus steps inside. I grab hold of something to pull me up, but Cronus and his guards start to pull me back.

Walker and Carter each grab an arm and start to pull me forward.

I yell out as a I feel a sting on my leg, which distinctly felt like a blade of some sort.

Finally, with the help of Walker and Carter, I pull my legs up. I pull the rope up as well. No need to make it easy for them to follow us.

"Move!" I shout, then Walker, Carter, and I crawl through the space with amazing speed. Adrenaline is a wonderful thing. Below us, I can hear the footsteps of many guards, and I know getting out now is going to be tricky.

We follow Carter as he leads us down the tunnels of the air shaft. We finally come upon another vent, which Carter peeks through. He nods, then pushes the vent cover open.

"It's a jump, but we can make it," Carter says.

"Check for guards," I tell Carter.

"I don't see anyone." Carter then slowly shifts himself and lowers himself down. He drops down seconds later. Walker then follows.

When it's my turn, I look down and smile. It's quite a big drop-off, but a well-placed couch is just underneath. I make the jump and land in the middle of the cushion.

By the time I'm on my feet, I see Carter is already prying open a window. One by one, we head out the window. I can hear the guards inside just as I land on my feet. Carter and Walker are already running towards the forest, and I'm right behind them.

* * *

The three of us make it to the Camaro without incident. All of us are struggling to catch our breath. Funny how I never thought about lungs when I was a vampire, but now I'm very aware of them.

"Did they follow us?" Carter asks.

I stare behind us, scanning the forest. "I think we shook them off."

"I knew I shouldn't have left my crossbow behind," Walker says, holding it up. "Note to self: always bring weapons."

I think of my axe in the trunk, and wish I had thought to bring it along as well. True, I could have taken some of them out with my fist, but there were too many and we were caught off guard. Then, I remember my weakness from the tranquilizer. "Wouldn't have mattered anyway. They would have taken our weapons away when we were unconscious."

"Can we go now?" Walker asks.

"Yeah," I say as I slip into the driver's seat. "Glad to."

* * *

 _A few minutes later, Buffy and I were making our way up the elevator clutching our overnight bags. When we reached our floor, Buffy pulled her key card out of her pocket and headed to our room at the end of the hall. The door made a beep, then opened for us and we stepped inside._

" _Oh good, it's just like the pictures," Buffy said as she placed her purse and bag on the dresser. She turned back to look at me and smiled. "What do you think?"_

 _The room was spacious, but I really only noticed one thing. I threw my bag down on the chair and headed for the bed. The mattress truly was like sitting on a cloud, and I reclined to get the full effect. "Oh yes, this will do."_

" _Don't fall asleep just yet." Buffy grinned at me._

" _Oh not a chance. I'm just looking forward to it."_

" _Well come check out the terrace first. I can't wait to see this view."_

 _I followed Buffy to the sliding glass doors leading to our own private balcony. Outside, the desert stretched for miles ahead of us. The moon was out, and above us, a million stars dotted the sky with the Milky Way taking center stage._

" _Beautiful, isn't it?" Buffy said._

" _Yes, very."_

 _Buffy moved closer to the railing and leaned on it. She shivered, then pulled her sweater a little closer._

" _You cold?"_

" _It's funny, but you never think of the desert as being chilly, but at night…"_

" _It's cool."_

" _Yeah." Buffy grinned at me again. "I guess I might need some warming up tonight."_

" _Might need to keep these balcony doors open then. You'll be burning up, I assure you." I leaned forward to kiss her, and Buffy responded in kind._

 _When we pulled away, Buffy stared up at me. "Thanks for letting me drag you away from your work."_

" _I'm a workaholic. I needed the break. And you're a great distraction."_

" _So are you, and I definitely needed that."_

" _Buffy, as I much as I love a spontaneous overnight trip with you, why are we really here? Tell me what happened."_

" _You know me so well."_

" _Tell me."_

 _Buffy's expression grew serious. "I had a close call."_

 _I reached for her hand. "What happened?"_

 _She leaned over the railing again and stared off in the distance. "Nothing out of the ordinary. Just vampires." She turned her head to stare at me. "Just your run of the mill, average vampires."_

" _Average or not, a vampire is still dangerous."_

 _Buffy nodded, then turned to stare back at the moonlit landscape. "I was by myself in the cemetery, and I was fighting a vampire. He wasn't too hard to take down, but that's where I messed up. I got arrogant. I was so wrapped up in my own victory that I didn't even hear the second vampire. He took me by surprise. And before I knew it, I was down on the ground, my stake was gone, and he was on top of me. And he was baring his fangs."_

 _Buffy paused for a moment. When she turned to look back at me, I saw tears welling in her eyes. "All I could think of in that moment was you. I was terrified I'd never see you again, terrified that I wasn't going to get out of there. I'd be just another slayer killed in the line of duty."_

 _I squeezed Buffy's hand. "Hey, you're okay now. You're here."_

" _All thanks to a pair of tomcats."_

" _Tomcats?"_

" _There were these two cats fighting. They were growling, hissing at each other. They didn't even sound like normal cats. They sounded like…I don't know, like possessed cats from a Stephen King movie or something. But thank god for them. The ruckus they were making distracted that vampire just long enough for me to get out of his grip. I found my stake on the ground, and before he could grab me again, I buried it in his chest."_

" _I'm glad you got out of there. I wish I could have been there to help."_

" _You do help, Angel. You're the best backup I have. But what we do, our line of work? It's dangerous. As much as I'd like for us to grow old and gray together, we have to face the possibility that it's not going to happen."_

 _I placed my finger under her chin and lifted her face up to mine. "Hey, not if I can help it. We finally have our chance to be together."_

" _I just want to feel close to you tonight, Angel. I need that."_

" _Well I think we can rectify that problem."_

 _With that, I scooped Buffy up into my arms, making her shriek with laughter, then carried her into the hotel room._

" _Now, let's try out this bed," I said with a grin._

* * *

Weeks later, we arrive back home. Hornsby and Conan greet us when we arrive.

"Did you find anything?" Hornsby asks.

"Oh yeah, you could say that alright," I tell him.

"There's a compound they've set up as their home base," Carter says.

"We even had a close call with them," Walker adds.

"Where's Roman? We need to call a meeting ASAP."

"Roman's inside," Conan says.

About an hour later, most of the adults, save for the ones on guard duty, are assembled in the common area. I tell the group about our discovery.

"So that's where Cronus has been hiding out, huh?" Brutus says. "Old coward. He hides out there and lets the others do his dirty work."

"I think he's just very powerful," I say. "I don't think we should underestimate him."

"I never underestimated him," Walker says, visibly shivering. "He's always made me feel very nervous."

"How many Invaders were there?" Roman asks me.

"I couldn't give you an exact number, but the compound is built like a castle. There has to be a lot more of them. And there were too many for us to fight which is why we hightailed it out of there."

"So what do we do now?" Grayer asks.

"I guess hit them where it hurts," I say. "We destroy the compound."

"And how do you expect us to do that?" Grayer asks.

I smile. "Well, I'm thinking that since this used to be a mining community, there should be some dynamite around here, right?"

The men nod their approval and seem thrilled about the plan, but Roman I see isn't smiling.

"Roman? What's on your mind?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Are you concerned because it's dangerous?"

"No, but that is also a concern. I don't think we should do any damage to the compound until we find the Crystal first. If this compound is as big as you say it is, then it's entirely possible that the Invaders are keeping our Crystal hidden there. I think we should explore it first."

"And it's heavily guarded," Walker says. "We were lucky we got out of there. They were going to kill us!"

"Okay, Roman's right," I say. "We're going to have to do more recon and find out what's going on there. I don't suppose any of you would like to storm the castle and kill them, would you?"

No one volunteers.

"Fighting a small group of them is one thing," one of the men in the back says. "Fighting a whole army is another!"

"We're not ready for that, Angel," another man says to me softly.

I try to hide my disappointment. I've been training these men to fight, and yet, they still lack confidence in their abilities. My work here is not done.


	41. Project 67

**CHAPTER 41 -PROJECT 67**

 ** _Summer, 2003_**

Giles is standing at the counter engrossed in the morning's paper and sipping his tea when Liam and I walk through the door. When Liam sees we are at the magic shop, he gets excited and runs over to investigate the items on the lower shelves. I'm not concerned. Anya has already put the fragile stuff up high and out of Liam's reach.

"Oh good, you're here," he says, not looking up from his paper.

"What's got your brow all furrowed?"

"There's an article in the paper. Two children are missing."

"Here? I grab the paper and scan the article. 'Two twin girls were abducted last night by a man wearing a Halloween costume'." There's a picture from the family's security camera of the man in question.

"What kind of costume is that?" I ask. "Is he supposed to be some sort of monster?"

"It's not a costume," Giles says, and then I understand.

"What is it?"

"It's a gremelian demon."

"Why would this thing take children?"

"That I'm not sure."

"Is it violent?"

"Yes, they can be."

"Those poor parents. They must be worried sick out of their minds." I look over to Liam, who is playing with some items on a display. If someone ever took him, I'd be out of my mind with worry, and I'd stop at nothing to get him back.

"I'll find them," I tell Giles.

Suddenly the items on the display crash down on the floor. Nothing fragile or heavy thank god. Liam looks at the mess in the floor and then at me.

"Uh oh!" he says.

* * *

I leave Liam with Giles and head over to Willy's. His bar is practically deserted at this time of day, and I avoid making eye contact with the seedy-looking demon types in the dark corners of the room. They're probably all working off a drunk anyway.

Willy's behind the bar wiping off the counter. When he sees me, he smiles nervously. "Hey there, Slayer. How's it going?"

"Relax, I'm not going to beat you up." I move closer. "Unless of course, you're unwilling to cooperate."

Willy scans the patrons in his bar, then looks at me. "What do you want to know?" he whispers.

"I want to know if you've seen this guy." I take out the picture from the paper and hand it over to Willy. "Has he been here?"

"Yeah, I've seen him."

"When?"

"Night before last."

"What's his story?"

"Now that, I don't know. He just came here, sat at the bar, had a drink, and then was on his merry way."

"Willy…" I warn.

Willy holds his hands up. "I swear, that's all know! We were really busy that night. I didn't have time to chat with everyone. But I did get the sense that he was from out of town. I don't think he's in Sunnydale anymore."

I can see that Willy is being sincere, so I back off. "Okay. Were any of your regulars here that night?"

"Yeah, I had a whole crowd. I had a drink special going on."

"Okay, then maybe I'll be back later when you're busier and ask around. You'll let me know if you see him again." I make sure my tone indicates I'm not asking him a question.

Willy nods. "Yeah, sure. I'll see you around."

Willy heads to the back, and I turn to leave when a familiar voice stops me.

"I saw your guy."

From the darkest corner of the bar, Spike emerges. I hadn't seen him there. He walks over and points to the picture I'm holding in my hand.

"You've seen this guy?" I hold up the picture so that he can get a better look.

Spike takes the picture, then shrugs and hands it back to me. "Well…maybe I've seen him."

"Spike, I don't have time for games. Have you seen him or not?"

"Yeah, I saw him. And I _might_ have some information about him." Spike gives me an expectant look.

I roll my eyes. "I'm not paying you! You either tell me what you know or I'll beat it out of you!"

Spike sighs. "Fine. It would just be nice if once in a while, I'd be paid for my services."

I cross my arms and tap my foot impatiently. "Spike, I'm waiting."

"Willy was right. This guy isn't in town anymore."

"Where do you think he went?"

"Not sure about that, but I do know he's from Los Angeles. Goes by the name of Charlie."

"How do you know all this?"

"I was here that night. I overheard his conversation with some of the other customers. He was trying to recruit some of them if you can believe that. Talking about a great money opportunity if they worked for his employer. Naturally with money involved, my interest was piqued."

"Who is his employer?"

Spike grinned. "It's really too bad Peaches isn't around. He'd be all over this case."

"What does that mean?"

"Charlie works for a law firm. Wolfram & Hart."

"Wolfram & Hart. Angel always said they were no good. What else do you know?"

"That's it. That's all I know about Charlie. There was a row between some of the other customers that caused a ruckus. Once everything settled down, Charlie was gone."

"Okay, I think I can track him down with that." I rush out of the bar and swing the door behind me.

"You're welcome, Slayer!" Spike yells out after me.

* * *

Willow's fingers fly across the keyboard as I stand over her shoulder. Her mad hacker skills still impress me.

"Can you get in?" I ask.

"Their firewall is pretty strong, but yeah, I can get in." She looks up and smiles at me, then turns back to the screen.

A few minutes, and a lot of pacing for me later, Willow's computer beeps.

"I'm in."

I rush to Willow's side and peer over her shoulder again. It takes her a few more minutes of searching to find what we're looking for. On the screen, a picture of two little twin girls appears on the screen.

"That's them!" I tell Willow. "But I don't understand. Why is Wolfram & Hart interested in them?"

Willow is quiet for a moment, reading the text on the screen. "I think I know why. These girls evidently have special abilities. Psychic abilities. I guess they're interested in them for that reason."

As Willow scrolls down the page, something makes her frown. I watch as she then does another search.

"What is it?"

"I have a feeling…" Willow types away, then brings up a list of several names under a project title called "Project 67". The twin sisters are among those names.

"Who are the rest of these people? Others with psychic abilities?"

Willow types one of the names into the search box, then pulls up a picture of a little boy. "Seems like they're interested in him too."

"Is that another missing child?"

"Could be. Let me do a google search."

Willow did a search on every one of the names listed in Wolfram & Hart's mysterious "Project 67" and came up with a hit on every single one. All of those names were of children, and they had all been abducted in the last few weeks. Most were from California, but a few were from Arizona, Nevada, and Utah.

"Well what about that demon guy, Charlie? How does he fit into all of this?"

Willow shrugs. "I don't know. Could just be the means of getting the children to them. Or maybe he's keeping guard of them."

"Find out where Charlie is."

Willow nods, then returns back to her searching of the law firm's database. "You know, for someone who is supposed to uphold the law, this law firm sure is dabbling into some illegal activities."

"Yeah, no wonder Angel didn't trust them. He shared with me a couple of cases he'd been working on in which the law firm had been involved. Looks like they're still up to no good."

* * *

Willow was unable to find any more information on Charlie, or the children for that matter. That left only one option. I was going to have to go there myself.

Cordelia answers the door when I knock.

"Hey, Buffy. I didn't think you'd be here so fast."

"Traffic was light."

Cordelia invites me in, and Dennis literally takes my bag and places it next to the couch.

"Helpful ghost."

Doyle comes out to the living room as I walk in. "Hey, Buffy. How are ya?"

"I'm good. I really appreciate you guys letting me stay here on such short notice."

"Well you said it was important, and we love to have you," Doyle says with a smile.

"So what's going on?" Cordelia asks.

"I'm trying to track down a demon connected to that shady law firm involved in some missing children cases."

"Oh yeah, Angel always was wary of those guys," Doyle says. "Where's the wee one today?"

"My mom and sister are watching him."

"That must be a nice break for you," Cordelia says.

I shrug. "Actually, I really miss him."

"Well what can we do to help?" Doyle asks. "Maybe if we hurry up and track this demon, you can get back to your little boy."

"As tempting as that sounds…this might be a little dangerous."

"And what we've experienced before wasn't dangerous?" Cordelia asks.

They're both staring at me, and I realize to my surprise that they really and truly want to help me. I give them a smile. "Okay, if you want, I guess I could use some help."

"Excellent!" Doyle says, pumping his fist in the air. "Just like old times!"

Except Angel isn't here, but I leave that unsaid.

* * *

Cordelia, Doyle, and I walk into the Law Offices of Wolfram & Hart without incident. Sometimes, the best cover is to act like you belong there, and no one is the wiser. Breaking into the file room, however, will be a little more trickier.

"If I'm not mistaken, it's the third floor," Doyle says.

"We should take the stairs," I say. "Less traffic."

Doyle and Cordelia agree, and the three of us make our way to the stairwell. No one is looking, so we head inside.

Once on the third floor, we see an arrow pointing to the files and archives room and head down the hallway. It seems to be quiet on the floor, though when we hear approaching footsteps, we all duck behind a wall until the coast is clear. Surely breaking into this area couldn't be this easy.

When we reach the records area, there's a young guy sitting at a desk. A door that clearly reads "Files and Archives" is behind him.

"We need to find a way past him," I whisper.

"Maybe he'll take a break soon?" Doyle says hopefully.

Cordelia turns around and grins at us. "Leave the suit to me. I've got an idea."

"What are you going to do?" Doyle asks.

"I'm going to lure him away from his desk. Stay here until he's gone."

"How are you going to do that?"

Cordelia smiles. "I'm an actress. It's my specialty."

Before we can question her more, Cordelia walks over to him.

"Excuse me?"

The suit looks up in surprise. "Yes, can I help you?"

"I am _so_ lost! My friend is here meeting with her lawyer, and they're like taking, _forever_! And so I had to go use the little girls' room, but I couldn't find one, so I went to a different floor. And then I finally found it, but now I don't even remember how to get back to the waiting area!"

"Oh, well that's no problem. Just go down this hallway, take a left, and you'll see the elevator. You want to go back down to the first floor."

"Oh no, I can't do that! You see, I don't like small spaces, especially elevators!"

"That's okay. There's a stairwell right next to it. You can take that way."

"I'm sorry, but I didn't come that way. I came some other way. I'm such a ditz when it comes to directions! Do you think you could walk me down?"

The guy seems to hesitate. "I'm not really supposed to leave the desk…"

" _Please?_ " Cordelia asks nicely. "It won't take long! This building is just so big and I don't have a clue where I am!"

The guy smiles, then stands up. "Okay, sure. I'd hate for you to get lost again."

"Oh thank you! I _really_ appreciate it!"

"Sure." The suit walks around his desk and guides Cordelia down the hall.

"So are you like, a lawyer?"

"Actually, I'm a file clerk, but I am going to law school."

"Really? Where?"

"UCLA."

"Get out! That's where I go to school!"

"I knew she could do it!" Doyle says proudly once the two are out of sight.

"Come on, we don't have much time."

The door to the files room is locked. Not much of a problem for me though. I yank on the handle until the lock pops, then Doyle and I slip inside.

"You search for Project 67, and I'll search for Charlie," I tell Doyle.

He nods, and together, we hurriedly begin searching the file cabinets. I don't have much luck finding anything "Charlie" related under C, so I walk over to the computer terminal and do a search from there.

"Found something," Doyle says. He has a file folder in his hand. "Project 67." He places the file on the table and I quickly flip through the pages. I see Charlie's name mentioned, but no other information. Nor is there any information on where the children are being held.

"Look here," Doyle says. "There's a number by his name. That's got to mean something."

"Maybe it's an employee number," I say, the thought suddenly occurring to me. "I'm looking in the wrong place. I need to find where the employee files are."

Together, Doyle and I search the rows of cabinets until finally, I spot one that looks promising. Finally, filed right under "C", is the name Charlie. There's a photo ID of him inside, and it's definitely him. Beside the picture, there's a home address. I have a hunch this is where we'll find those kids.

"Found it."

"You think we've got what we need?" Doyle asks.

"Let's hope so. Now let's get the hell out of here."

Doyle heads to the door first, opens it, then closes it again. "We're too late. The suit is back."

"Then we'll just have to wait for an opportunity to sneak out."

We wait for a few minutes and watch as the clerk types into the computer. His desk phone rings, and he answers it.

"Wolfram & Hart, this is Eric."

He begins to type something into his computer while he chats with the other person on the line. I nod to Doyle. "I think this is our chance."

Quietly, we slip out of the room and tiptoe past Eric's desk. He continues his conversation on the phone. Once we reach the stairwell, we make a run for it.

* * *

Cordelia is waiting for us in the lobby. "Took you guys long enough. Did you find it?"

"We found something," I tell her.

"Sorry I couldn't distract him for longer."

"You did a fantastic job, Princess!"

Cordelia shrugs, but smiles. "I suppose I was a little convincing. I did get his number." Cordelia holds up a slip of paper with a phone number scribbled on it. "Poor guy thinks I'm going to call him."

Doyle snatches the paper, balls it up, and throws it in a nearby trashcan. "Fat chance of that happening. You're taken."

"Come on, let's hurry out of here before someone becomes suspicious," I remind them, and Doyle and Cordelia follow me to the exit.

* * *

It's dark when we head out.

The address we found leads to an inconspicuous house in a quiet neighborhood. Looking at it, you wouldn't suspect that a dozen kids were inside being held against their wills, which is probably the very reason this house was chosen.

Of course, not that we have confirmation the children are here, but I have a hunch.

"So what's the plan?" Doyle asks me.

"First, let's get a closer look and see what we're dealing with, then I'll let you know."

The shades are drawn in the front windows, making it impossible to see the inside. I suggest we head around back to see if we can get a better look.

The backyard is fenced in, and locked I presume. I attempt to open the gate just in case. Nope. Locked.

The fence is high, but not too high that I can't get over it.

"Wait here," I tell Doyle and Cordelia, then I jump and hoist myself over the fence.

The yard is dark and quiet, which works in my favor. There's a small window with no curtain which I assume is a laundry room.

As I make my way over to the window, an outside light comes on. Motion detectors. Damn.

A light turns on inside, and seconds later, I hear someone unlocking the back door. I scramble for cover behind a trash can and watch a man peer outside.

From inside, I hear a woman's voice. "Is someone outside?"

"I don't think so," replies the man. "Probably that damn cat again."

The man closes the door and the light inside goes out. I start to wonder if maybe we have the wrong house, but then I see movement from a bedroom window. A curtain is moved aside. Staring out the window are two twin girls.

The same girls from the newspaper.

When I'm sure the man won't come back, I creep over to the window. It's open except for a screen.

The girls see me, and both put a finger over their lips.

"Don't worry," I whisper. "I came here to rescue you."

"Don't wake up the monster," one of the girls tells me. She points to somewhere behind her. In the light of a night light, I see the demon who snatched them in the first place.

"I'll be back, ok?"

The girls nod, and I head back to the gate to get Cordelia and Doyle.

* * *

We let Cordelia knock on the door while Doyle and I take position out of sight. Doyle is reluctantly wearing his demon face, but we need his strength at the moment.

"No one's answering," Cordelia whispers.

"They're home. Be persistent."

Cordelia knocks again. "Hello? Is anyone home?"

After a few seconds of waiting, we finally hear footsteps walking to the door. The gruff looking man I saw earlier opens the door.

"What do you want?" he demands.

"Oh I'm so glad someone's home! I saw your car in the driveway and thought I'd find someone. My car needs a jump start and I don't know a thing about how to do that. And I tried calling my boyfriend but my phone is totally dead! Do you think you could help me?"

"Sorry, I don't have jumper cables."

The man starts to close the door, but Cordelia sticks her foot in the door. "Oh that's no problem! I have them! I just need help with doing it."

"I said I can't help you."

"Well can I just use your phone then? Please! It'll only take a minute and then I'll be out of your hair. I promise! You don't even have to let me come in. You can just let me borrow your cell right here."

I watch as the man hesitates, then nods. "Hold on."

He walks away from the door but leaves it slightly ajar. I nod to Doyle. When the man comes out again, Doyle jumps the guy and I barge in.

A surprised woman is standing in the kitchen. She screams when she sees Doyle's spiked face. I grab hold of her arms and hold them behind her back. At the same time, Doyle is tying the man to a chair.

"Where are the kids?" I demand.

No one answers.

"I asked you a question. Where are the kids?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" says the woman. ""Charlie!"

From one of the bedrooms, the demon emerges.

"Cordelia! Get the kids!"

Cordelia runs off toward the bedroom while I have my hands full with fighting Charlie.

From the corner of my eye, I see the woman charge at me with a frying pan. Unlucky for her, my reflexes are fast. I punch her and knock her unconscious, then turn my attention back to Charlie.

Doyle, who has finished tying the man up to a kitchen chair, grabs the woman and gives her the same treatment.

Up close, the demon looks gruesome with his yellow, scaly skin and his dark, beady eyes. The way his ears are shaped make him resemble some sort of gremlin.

"You really shouldn't have taken those kids."

"And you should have stayed out of it," he retorts as he charges for me.

I manage to dodge him and we fight again. As we crash into the table, a glass overturns and a few other objects roll off. I kick Charlie back and send him into metal shelf. The shelf shakes with the impact and the boxes of food sitting on it fall to the floor.

I step on something and take a moment to see what it was. The stupid frying pan. When I turn back, I see Charlie's fist heading for my face. And then I see nothing but black.

* * *

"Buffy? Buffy, you alright?"

When I open my eyes, I see Doyle hovering over me.

"You okay?" Doyle asks again.

"My head hurts but I'll live."

"Now you know how I feel," shouts the woman across the room. She's come to now and is still tied to the chair. I ignore her comment and turn back to Doyle. "Charlie?"

"He took off. I would have gone after him but I was still tying up that one." Doyle points to the woman.

"The kids?"

"They're fine. All twelve of them. Cordy is waiting with them outside. The police are on their way."

"Good," I say as I get to my feet and look at the man and woman tied up. "You'll have a lot of explaining to do."

* * *

From a distance, we watch the street filled with blue and red lights from the patrol cars. The cops are done talking to us and have taken the suspects into custody. Now we just wait and watch a few joyful reunions as the children are reunited with their parents.

"I don't know what I'd ever do if someone took Liam from me."

"You'd go after them with your fist probably," Doyle says, then smiles.

I smile back at him. "Definitely. Well, I guess our work here is done."

"Angel would be so proud of us!" Cordelia says.

"I think this calls for a celebration!" Doyle says. "Drinks at Caritas?"

Cordelia and I respond with a resounding _yes_.

* * *

From the bar, I watch Cordelia and Doyle perform a duet of _I've Had the Time of My Life_ from _Dirty Dancing._ Lorne bobs his head to the music as he watches them too, then a big smile spreads across his face.

"You just saw something, didn't you?"

Lorne turns to me and smiles. "Maybe."

"Oh come on, just tell me. I'm going to find out anyway."

Lorne leans across the bar to whisper to me. "Doyle just decided he's going to pop the question to Cordy."

"Oh my god!"

"Shh! Don't say anything. It'll ruin the surprise."

"Don't worry, my lips are sealed."

On the stage, Cordelia sings to Doyle as opposed to the crowd, and Doyle looks like he's the happiest man on earth. I'm happy for them. I truly am.

When their number is over, the crowd applauds, and I watch as they return to their seats next to me at the bar.

"Wow, you two were smokin' out there!" I tell them.

"Yeah, I could feel the heat from here," Lorne adds.

"She's the one who's smokin'," Doyle says as he looks at Cordelia. "I'm just along for the ride. Lorne, be a good man and refill my glass, will ya?"

"Sure thing." Lorne goes about refilling Doyle's drink, then turns to me. "So, are you going to sing tonight, sweetie?" Lorne asks me.

"Not without more alcohol."

"In that case, here you go, sugar." Lorne places another shot glass of tequila in front of me.

I shrug and pick up the shot glass. "Okay." I down the tequila shot, then move to stand up.

Cordelia points a finger at me. "Buffy, no sad, sappy love songs! Tonight's about having fun!"

"Lorne, how about some Whitney Houston? _I Believe in You and Me_?"

Cordelia rolls her eyes. " _Sappy_!"

"Okay, what about Mariah Carey? _My All_?"

" _Oh my god!_ Sad and sappy!"

"Lorne, she won't let me sing anything!"

Lorne smiles. "Oh come on, Cordy, give her a break. Let her sing what she wants. And I think those are both great choices. Which one do you want sing, cupcake?"

"You know what? I can't hit those high notes anyway. I have another song in mind." I glance at Cordelia. "And I can't promise it won't be sappy. Do you have any Celine Dion?"

Lorne smiles big. "Honey, I live for Celine Dion!"

Cordelia rolls her eyes at me. "If you sing _My Heart Will Go On_ , I might have to slap you."

"She's kidding," Doyle says. "You can sing whatever you want." Doyle winks at me.

I glare at Cordelia. "I wasn't going to sing that. I was thinking about _Because You Loved Me_."

" _Sappy_!" Cordelia mocks, though I know she's just teasing me.

"I told you I couldn't promise it wouldn't be."

"Perfect choice!" Lorne says. "I'll go get it cued up for you."

* * *

Cordelia and Doyle invite me to stay another night, but I politely decline. I've made the drive from L.A. to Sunnydale so many times I'm used to it. And plus, I'm missing Liam like crazy.

Before I leave, I surprise myself by making the turn that leads to the docks. I don't know what possesses me to come here. Maybe a part of me hopes that by returning, I'll get some clue as to how to bring Angel back home.

The docks are deserted at this time of night. I haven't been back here since the night I lost Angel. I suppose I didn't want to come here because it would have been painful, and it is.

I walk over to the spot where Angel fell into the portal and look at the dark water below. It's quiet here with only the sound of the water lapping against the support beam.

I sit down and dangle my legs over the edge. I stare at the spot where there was once a large, swirling portal.

 _Angel!_

I wince at the sound of my own screams in my head from that night as if I was back in that moment.

"Nice night. Isn't it, Slayer?"

My spine tingles. I have company, and it's not anyone friendly.

I turn around just long enough to get a glimpse of the vampire's face before his large boot kicks me. The force of the blow is so strong that I nearly go overboard, but I somehow regain my balance and get to my feet.

I recognize the vampire as one I fought last week. He's memorable because I gouged one of his eyes out with my stake after killing his girlfriend. He got away and I was too tired to bother chasing after him. But apparently, he's been chasing me.

I reach for the stake in my back pocket. "Well, if it isn't Cyclops. Are you stalking me?"

"You killed my Esmeralda!"

"So is that why you're here? You're here to avenge her death? Funny how last week, you ran off like a dog with his tail between his legs. Are you done licking your wounds and ready to fight me now?"

My comments seem to enrage him further and he charges at me. I duck and move out of the way.

I have the clear advantage considering he's blind in one eye, so I throw a punch on his blind side. The vampire stumbles back but doesn't fall.

We go around a few times exchanging blows. I've managed to dodge every one, which only frustrates the vampire more. Despite his monocular vision, he's fast and I can't find my opening to end this fight.

Cyclops charges for me again. I raise my stake and drive it through his chest, only to realize I missed his heart by millimeters. Damn vamp moved at the last second. He laughs at me and yanks the stake out. He tosses it aside. I hear it land on be dock somewhere. The I feel him kick me. Hard. And I feel myself fall back.

The cold water shocks me as I feel myself go under.

I'm good at fighting vampires, but not underwater. The not breathing thing clearly gives him the advantage. Just as I suspect, Cyclops jumps in after me. Not only does he move fast, but clearly he's a good swimmer too.

I fight my way to the surface and punch him, but just when I think I have a handle on it, he shoves me under again. I try to move my legs to kick, but I can't kick him as easily as I can on land.

I start to panic. _I'm going to drown_. I'm going to die and Liam will be without a mother and a father.

I think of his sweet little face. I think of my mother and my sister and my friends. I think of Angel.

 _NO_. I can't die. I won't. I need to be there for Liam. I need to be here for Angel when he comes home.

I will NOT die tonight.

A sudden burst of adrenaline courses through me as I somehow manage to get my head above the water again. I headbutt the vampire and yank my arm free from his hold. My fingernail aims for his good eye. It doesn't buy me much time, but it's enough to get away.

"You bitch!" the vampire yells after me as I doggy paddle back to the dock.

I reach the dock, pull myself up enough to grab my stake, and turn around just in time to bury the wood into his chest. This time, I hit the heart. Cyclops explodes, leaving a flurry of ashes on the water's surface.

I take a moment to catch my breath, then hoist myself up to the dock.

Shivering, I make my way to my car. Once inside, I turn the heat on full blast and feel relieved that I have dry clothes in my bag.

After shedding my wet clothes in exchange for the dry ones, I put the key into the ignition and start up the jeep. Enough of this. I'm going home.

Home to Liam.


	42. In an Instant, Pt 1

**a/n:** This is a sad chapter, so be warned. Some minor dialogue was borrowed from the show.

 **CHAPTER 42 – IN AN INSTANT, PT 1**

 ** _Fall, 2003_**

When I get home from class, I see flowers on the table. And of course, being nosy, I grab the card to see who they're from.

"'Had a great time. Can't wait to see you again. Love, Brian.'"

I hadn't met Brian yet, but this was the second time he sent my mother flowers. I was already starting to like him.

"Hey, flower-getting lady! Want me to pick up Dawn from school?"

The house seems oddly quiet, and when Mom doesn't answer, I start to wonder if she's even here. "Mom?"

I glance down the hallway and peek into the kitchen, but she's not there. She's probably upstairs, but when I turn to head to the stairs, I see her on the couch.

"Mom? Are you sleeping?" Mom doesn't sleep during the day, which worries me. But as I move closer to the couch, I notice her eyes are wide open, and a chill runs down my spine.

* * *

Amid the sound of the paramedics in the background, I hear Giles running up the porch steps. He finds me sitting on the floor next to the stairs. He kneels down and places his hand on my shoulder. "Buffy. I'm here."

I stare at the wall, fixed on a spot of dirt near the baseboard. "I threw up on the floor."

"That's alright."

"I found her. I came home and she was on the couch. She wasn't responsive."

Giles glances in the direction of the living room, gasping at the sight of my mother on the floor, the paramedics still over her. "I don't understand. I thought her tumor…"

"They won't know until they do an autopsy."

In the back of my mind, I feel as if I'm forgetting something. I try to put my finger on what it is. And then I remember.

"Oh god. Dawn. I have to tell her. I need to pick her up from school."

"Why don't I drive you? I don't think you're in any condition to drive right now."

"Oh god, and Liam! Giles, he can't see me like this!"

"Why don't I call Xander and have him pick him up from daycare?"

"Okay. But, Giles, tell Xander not to say anything to Liam. Not yet."

Giles nods and begins to make the call.

* * *

Giles waits in the car as I go into the school. This is something I need to do alone, though I'm not sure how exactly I'm going to do it.

The halls of the new high school look much different than before, and I easily get lost. I walk down one hallway, then another as the maze leads me around in a confusing circle.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" asks a male voice.

I turn around to see a tall man with dark skin and a warm smile. "My sister. I need to sign her out. There's been a family emergency."

"Let me show you to the office."

I follow the man to the office, which had been in a place so obvious I can't believe I had overlooked it. But then again, I can't really concentrate on anything at the moment. He stops at the secretary's desk and talks to the woman sitting there. "Miranda, this young lady needs to pick up her sister. There's been a family emergency. What's your sister's name?"

"Dawn. Dawn Summers."

"Summers? Oh, then you must be Buffy."

"How did you…?"

He smiles at me. "Your reputation precedes you. Miranda, will you please escort Ms. Summers to Dawn's classroom?"

"Yes, Principal Wood."

"It was nice meeting you, Ms. Summers. I'm not sure what's going on but I hope everything's alright."

I don't say anything in response and watch him go back to his office, because I know that nothing will ever be alright again.

The secretary, Miranda, escorts me to a room down the hall and hurries back to the office, leaving me standing there at the door with a room full of high school students staring at me.

"Buffy, what are you doing here?" Dawn asks.

"Dawn, we need to go."

I glance at the teacher who seems a little confused. "I'm sorry, but I need to sign my sister out."

She nods and tells Dawn she's excused.

"I'll wait for you in the hall."

Moments later, Dawn steps out of the classroom with her bag. She takes one look at me and knows something isn't right. "What's wrong?"

"It's Mom."

Her eyes widen. "Is she sick again? Is she at the hospital? I thought that tumor scare was over!"

"No, it's not that."

"So what's wrong with her?"

"I'm not sure."

"I don't understand."

"When I came home for lunch, I found Mom unresponsive on the couch."

"But she's going to be okay though, right? _Right_?"

I can't even get out the words, but shaking my head is enough of an answer for Dawn.

Dawn drops her bag to the floor and her hands fly to her face. "No, that can't be true. You said yourself you didn't know what was wrong with her! Wait until the doctors examine her!"

"Dawn, Mom's gone."

"No, you're lying! You're lying and Mom's going to be just fine! You'll see! She's going to be okay!"

Dawn crumples to the floor sobbing. I sit down on the floor next to her and put my arms around her, trying to comfort her though I know that just like me, she's inconsolable.

* * *

Willow, Oz, and Tara are waiting for us at the hospital when we arrive. They all stand up when they see us, and Willow comes over to hug me.

"Buffy, I'm so sorry."

"Thanks, Will."

"We'll do anything to help. We can help you with the arrangements if you like."

"No wake. She didn't want a wake. She said that potlucks are depressing enough."

A tear rolls down Dawn's cheek as she looks at me. "When did Mom say that?"

"Before her operation. We had a talk about what she would have wanted…in case."

"Mom never said anything to me about that."

"She probably just didn't want to upset you, Dawn," Oz says.

Dawn starts to cry, and Tara pulls my little sister into her arms.

"I'll see if I can find out what's going on," Giles says, then leaves the waiting area.

"Is he going to find the doctor?" Dawn asks me. "Will they tell us what happened to Mom?"

"Yeah. But I think we'll have to wait a while."

"Where's Liam?" Willow asks.

"He's with Xander and Anya. Liam doesn't know yet. I didn't want to bring him here. He's not going to understand what's going on. I don't even understand it myself."

* * *

We wait for hours in the waiting room.

Oz and Willow help Dawn go find a vending machine, and Giles looks for the doctor again.

Tara sits down in the chair beside me. "Buffy, I know there's nothing I can say to ease your pain, but I know what you're going through. I lost my mother too."

"Was it sudden?"

"No. Actually, yes, it was sudden. It's always sudden. If you ever want someone to talk to, I'm here."

"Thank you, Tara," I say as I give her a hug.

Giles comes back shortly with news that the doctor is on his way to give me an update. And just as the rest of the group arrives back from the vending machine, I hear someone talking to me.

"Ms. Summers?"

Standing over me is a doctor I recognize from my mom's time in the hospital, though his name escapes me now. "Yes?"

"I've examined your mother's body."

"Can we see her now?" Dawn asks.

"No, Dawnie, not now. Please, doctor, what happened to our mom?"

"Your mother had an aneurysm. It's a sudden hemorrhaging from a ruptured arterial vessel. It was located near where the tumor was removed.

"Shouldn't you have been able to detect that before?"

"Sometimes these things are undetectable. Joyce was aware of the possibility of a rupture. I'm quite certain this was very sudden. She may have felt a little nauseas, and probably passed out as it happened."

"Was she…in pain?"

"I doubt there was much pain."

I sit back down on the couch, unable to stand anymore. "I should have gotten home sooner."

"Ms. Summers, even if someone had been by her side, there probably wouldn't have been much anyone could have done. I'm terribly sorry for your loss."

"Are you sure…that there wasn't a lot of pain?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Thank you, doctor," Giles says. "What needs to be done now?"

"Well, there will be some forms, and decisions to make."

"Why don't you let me handle those?" Giles offers.

I nod. "Please."

"Ms. Summers, you'll need to sign a couple of release forms."

"I'll figure out which ones you need to see," Giles says. "I'll be back." He pats my arm before following the doctor.

* * *

Oz, Willow, and Tara offer to stay with Dawn at the house while Giles takes me to pick up Liam.

I follow Giles down the hallway to Xander and Anya's apartment. My thoughts are such a jumble right now that I almost walk past the door.

I take a deep breath, and Giles looks at me, concerned.

"Are you alright, Buffy?"

"I don't know if I can do this, Giles. How do I tell my little boy that he's never going to see his grandmother again?"

"Would you like for me to talk to him?"

"No. No, thank you. I think this really needs to come from me."

Giles nods, and I turn around and knock on Xander and Anya's door. A few moments later, the door opens and Xander appears. He looks like hell, so I can only imagine how bad I must look.

"Hey, Buff," he says softly as he pulls me into his arms.

"Hey."

"I'm so sorry. I can't believe this has happened."

"Thank you." I pull away from his embrace and look up at him, willing myself not to cry. "And thank you for taking care of Liam."

Behind Xander, I see Anya come out the kitchen with Liam on her heels. He lights up when he sees me.

"Mama!"

"Hey, baby."

Liam runs to me, throwing himself into my arms. I hug him tight, maybe a little too tight since Liam begins to squirm. When I let him go, he stares at me, and then smile on his face falls.

"Mama sad?"

Liam can always tell when I'm sad, even if I try to hide it. "Yeah, it's a really bad day." I stand up and take Liam's hand, walking him over to the living room. "Come here for a moment, Liam. I have to talk to you." I sit down on the couch and pull Liam close and glance at Giles for encouragement.

"Liam, do you remember Mr. Henry? That old man that used to live down the street? And he would always sing and act really silly?"

"Yeah."

"Do you remember how he got really sick and we talked about him going to heaven?"

"He's gone."

"Right. Well, Liam, your Grandma got really sick too." I feel a lump forming in my throat. I don't know how to do this. "Liam, your grandma is gone now."

"She's sick at the hospital?"

"No, Liam, we can't go see her at the hospital. She went to heaven."

"When's Grandma coming home?"

"Liam…Grandma's not coming back. Remember when we talked about heaven? Once you come to heaven, you can't come back."

"Can we go see her?"

"No, Liam, we can't go see her. I mean, one day we will when we go to heaven, but it's not our time to go."

Liam frowns, his little mind trying to understand. But how can Liam understand when I don't understand it myself?

"Where's your book bag, Liam?"

He points to the kitchen. "On the table."

"Bring it here, okay? We've got to go home. It's late."

"I'll go help him," Anya offers, then takes Liam's hand. "Come on, Liam. We'll get your books and toys together and I'll wrap up some of those cookies for you too."

Once Liam leaves the room, I start to break down. Xander sits down next to me and places his arm around me. I rest my head on his shoulder, wishing for the hundredth time that this was not really happening.

I wipe a tear that's trailing down my cheek. "That could have gone better."

"You did fine, Buffy," Giles says.

"I don't think Liam understands."

"Just give him a little time," Xander says.

"Xander, thank you again for picking him up. I had no idea we'd be at the hospital for so long."

"Is there anything that I could do for you?"

Before I have a chance to answer, Liam runs out with his bag over his shoulder and a Ziploc baggie in his hand. "Mama, cookies!"

"Those look good. What do you say to Auntie Anya?"

"Thank you," Liam says in his small, childlike voice.

"You're welcome, Liam!" Anya says.

"Let's put the cookies in your book bag. You can have them when we get home. We'll just make sure you brush your teeth real good tonight."

Liam begins to unzip his bag and puts the bag of cookies inside.

"Xander, there is something you could do for me."

"Anything. Name it."

"The couch. I…I just want it gone. Every time I look at it, I see…just get rid of it, please. Get another one. I don't care what kind. I just want the couch gone."

Xander nods. "You got it, Buff. I'll take care of it in the morning."

Liam tugs on my shirt. "Mama, you spill juice on the couch?"

"No. We…we just need a new one." I can't bring myself to tell Liam the real reason why I want to get rid of it. "Come on, it's time to go."

Xander hugs me again, and when I pull away, Anya hugs me too.

"I don't know what to say to people in these situations," she whispers to me.

"You don't have to say anything, Anya. Just you being here is enough. Thanks for looking out for Liam."

"You're welcome. He can come over anytime and hang out with us."

"Come on, Liam." I take Liam's hand and see the confusion come over his face again.

"Is Grandma home?"

I take a deep breath, willing myself to not cry again, then answer him. "No, sweetie. I'm afraid not. She's already gone."

* * *

Dawn, Willow, and Tara are all sitting at the bottom of the stairs when we get home. Dawn's eyes are puffy since she's been crying all day, and Willow and Tara look about the same. Standing nearby, Oz gives me a sympathetic look.

Dawn stands up and moves closer to us. "Buffy, have you told…?"

"Yeah," I whisper back. "I told him."

Dawn then kneels down and wraps her arms around Liam, who still seems really confused about what's going on. He does, however, understand that we're all very sad, and that in turn makes him sad too.

"Buffy, do you want us to stay a while?" Willow asks.

"No, you guys don't have to stay. But I really appreciate you guys being there for us."

Willow nods. "Okay then. We'll be back in the morning."

Willow, Oz, and Tara say their goodnights and head outside. I close the door behind them, then turn back to see Liam and Dawn both staring at me. The thought hits me from out of nowhere. I'm the one in charge now, and I don't think I'm ready for it.

"I'll stay with you girls tonight," Giles says.

"No, Giles, you don't have to do that."

"No, Giles, stay!" Dawn flings herself into Giles arms and starts to sob again.

"Mama?" Liam says, tugging on my shirt. "Why did Grandma go away?"

Kneeling down to his level, I pull Liam into my arms. "I don't know, Liam. I don't know." Hugging him tightly, I glance over his shoulder and see Dawn struggling to keep her composure.

"Dawn, will you help Liam get ready for bed please? I have to take care of some things."

Dawn, seemingly glad to have something else on her mind, nods and offers her hand. "Sure. Come on, Liam."

I watch my sister and son head up the stairs then stand up and turn to Giles. "Are you sure you don't mind staying?"

"Not at all. Why don't you go get some rest?"

"No, I can't sleep. Not yet. I just…I need to keep busy. If I keep busy…I just need some time to myself for a while."

Giles nods, understanding. "Of course. I won't be far if you need me. Why don't I go upstairs and see if Dawn needs any help?"

I nod. "Thank you, Giles."

* * *

In the kitchen, I find a sink full of dirty dishes that won't fit in the dishwasher because it's too full. This strikes me as odd, because Mom always kept a clean kitchen. She wouldn't have let it get this bad.

And then I remember. She didn't get to because she got sick.

I grab the wash bin and turn the hot water on full blast with more force than necessary, then squirt a huge dollop of dish detergent into the basin. Once it fills up with soapy water, I scrub every one of the plates until they're so clean I can see my reflection in them. Then I wash them all over again.

I want to make the pain go away, just like all of the dirt on the dishes. But the dirt is gone, and the pain remains. The plate in my hand, now squeaky clean, is dripping wet. I reach to put it in the dish strainer, but it slips out of my hand, falling to the floor and breaking the ceramic in a dozen pieces. The broken plate is the final straw, and the last of my composure is lost.


	43. In an Instant, Pt 2

**a/n:** Part 2 of the sad chapter. Looking back at this chapter that I wrote a long time ago, I don't know why I made Xander a jerk in one of the scenes. Then I realized, oh yeah, he is sometimes a bit of a jerk on the show. So yeah, that's his character. But in my stories, I always make him apologize. Okay, on to the chapter.

 **CHAPTER 43 – IN AN INSTANT, PT 2**

It's been a week since my mother's funeral. I've finally gotten past the point where I feel like I'm going to cry every second of the day, but now I'm just depressed. The house has never felt so empty. Dawn spends all of her time in her room, if she's even home at all. Liam's been withdrawn and very prone to the occasional temper tantrum. And as for me, I wander around from room to room, feeling like something's missing until I realize it is. _Mom's missing._

In the living room, I pick up a photo album and sit down on the couch to look through it. Liam, who is on the floor with some paper and crayons, tosses his crayons aside and walks over to me. He silently climbs up onto the couch, leans against me, and puts his thumb in his mouth. I thought he was finally starting to outgrow his thumb-sucking habit, but he's recently picked it back up again. I learned in one of my classes that it's a self-soothing mechanism. I just hope he grows out of it by the time he starts school, but I'm not going to force him to stop. His grandmother just died. If sucking his thumb making him feel marginally better, I'm going to let him do it.

Liam takes his thumb out of his mouth and points to a picture in the album. "That's me," he says.

I smile. "That's right. That is you. You were just a tiny baby then." The picture is one of my favorites. My mother is holding him.

"Grandma's in heaven," Liam says softly.

"That's right, baby, and we miss her very much."

I still don't think Liam has an understanding of what or where heaven is, but he's aware his grandmother is not here anymore.

I turn the page and come to a picture of Angel. "There's your daddy," I say and point to the picture.

"Daddy's in heaven."

"No sweetie, Daddy's not in heaven. Daddy's far away in another world helping people. He's on a very important mission."

Liam looks at me with confusion in his eyes. He's still too little to understand. All he knows is that  
they're not here.

"Daddy's in heaven," he repeats.

I look at Liam, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. He needs a haircut. "No, Liam, Daddy's not in the same place as Grandma. I know it's confusing."

"Xander told him that," Dawn says as she walks into the room.

"What?"

"I heard Xander tell him that. It was the day of the funeral. He said his grandmother was with his daddy in heaven now. I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be pissed."

After dropping off that bomb, Dawn heads upstairs.

"Liam, Uncle Xander was wrong. People are going to tell us that he's never coming back, even people who love us, but you can't believe that, alright? We have to believe that Daddy will come back home to us one day. Okay?"

"Daddy come back?"

"Yeah, Daddy will come home one day." I hug Liam, and hope and pray that he does. "Come on, let's go get some breakfast. Do you think you could eat?"

Liam nods.

"What do you want?"

"Pancakes."

I kiss Liam on his forehead. "Okay. I'll make us some pancakes."

* * *

"I'm going to school now," Dawn announces as she pokes her head into the kitchen.

I look up from the pancakes I'm attempting not to burn. "This early?"

Dawn shrugs. "I want to hang out with my friends before class."

"But you haven't had breakfast yet."

"I'm not hungry!" she yells. The front door slams seconds later.

Dawn not eating is just as well. I don't feel like eating much either and besides, I've only made enough for Liam so far. Scooping the pancakes up, I put them on a plate and put it on the table.

"Liam, come eat your breakfast."

Liam sits at the table but doesn't immediately dig in like he normally does.

"Eat up, okay?"

Liam stares at the pancakes for a moment before poking it with his fork. "Chocolate chips?"

"I'm sorry, Liam, but we don't have any more chocolate chips."

"Grandma makes it with chocolate chips!" Liam pushes the plate away.

I push the plate back towards him. "These taste just as good. I promise. Here, put some syrup on them." I pick up the syrup bottle, but Liam still stares at his plate.

"I want chocolate chips!"

"Liam, eat your pancakes. We'll have chocolate chips next time."

"NO! I WANT GRANDMA'S PANCAKES!"

Liam knocks the plate off the table and runs to the living room. Moments later, I hear him crying from the living room. The pancakes, now dirty, still sit on the floor, I pick them up along with the plate and throw it all in the trash.

In the living room, Liam's still crying. He lies face down on our new couch, his face in a cushion that's now soaked with his tears. I sit down on the couch next to him and rub his back like I used to do when he was a baby. After a few minutes, he sits up and lets me pull him into my lap. His sobs sound like little hiccups.

"I know you miss Grandma. I miss her too. I miss her every moment of every day. Believe me, I know exactly how you feel."

Liam lays his head against my chest and his wet cheek makes my shirt damp. I reach out and brush his hair back, then kiss his cheek. "Why don't we go out for breakfast? You can have anything you want from the menu. You want to do that?"

"Okay," Liam says in a soft voice.

* * *

I stop by the Magic Box later that night where our little group has grown accustomed to hanging out. At the cash register, Anya counts out the day's earnings as Xander and Willow have a quiet conversation. Giles, meanwhile, appears to be straightening up the shelves.

They all stare at me when I walk in, a surprised look on each of their faces. I haven't been here in over a week.

"Hey, Buffy," Willow says, smiling brightly.

"It's good to see you out and about, Buffy," Giles says warmly.

"I just came to talk to Xander." He looks at me in confusion as I make my way over to him. "What did you say to Liam?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't do that, Xander. Don't play dumb with me. What did you say to Liam about Angel the day of the funeral?"

"I told him what I believe is the truth."

"What did you _say_ to him, Xander?"

"Fine, you want to know what I said? I'll tell you. Liam was asking me questions, questions about when his grandmother was going to come home. I explained to him in the most delicate way that I could that his grandmother was not coming back. But of course, Liam doesn't understand that. He thinks that if his father is going to come home, then his grandmother should be able to come home too."

"That's a completely different situation."

"Not really, Buff. The way I see it, the earlier he accepts that neither his father or his grandmother are coming back, the better, otherwise the kid is going to have a warped sense of death."

" _Angel's not dead!_ The Oracles said so!"

"Then why isn't he here, Buff? He's had plenty of time, over three years in fact, to come back. And he's still a no-show. Doesn't that tell you something? We've been beating on this dead horse for too long. You need to accept that Angel is not coming back, and so does Liam."

"You had no right to tell him that! He's young and he's upset and confused at why his grandmother is no longer around! He doesn't need you making him even more upset and confused about his father!"

"Look, I'm sorry if I upset Liam, but I am not sorry for telling him the truth!"

"It's not the truth!"

About this time, Giles walks over to me, and I collapse into his arms, sobbing into his tweed jacket.

"Buff…"

"Xander, I think you've said enough for now," Giles warns him.

* * *

Giles drives me home, but when we pull into the driveway. It takes me a moment to unbuckle my seatbelt. Looking at this house on 1630 Revello Drive, you wouldn't think anything had changed at all. The house looks the same on the outside, but I know that everything is different now.

"Buffy? Are you going to be alright?"

I wipe the tear stinging my eye and nod. "I'll be okay. I just don't want Liam to see me like this. I'm supposed to be strong, and if he sees me like this…I don't know how to do this."

"Nobody does."

The light is on in the living room, and I see Liam peeking out the window. "Oh, I've been spotted. I better go. Thanks for the ride home."

"Anytime."

I say goodnight to Giles and head up the porch. Liam greets me at the door. He hugs my legs as I walk in.

"Mama!"

I kneel down to his level and pull him tight to me. "I said I'd be right back. I wasn't gone too long, was I?"

Dawn appears with the cordless phone in her hand. "I'll be in my room," she says by way of greeting, then heads upstairs.

Liam picks a book off from the floor. "Read?"

"Sure, baby."

* * *

The next morning, I'm watching Liam draw with his crayons at the coffee table when I hear Dawn run down the steps. She pokes her head into the living room. In her hand, she has her overnight bag.

"I'm going to Janet's," she announces. "I'll be back tomorrow. I'm spending the night."

"Since when?"

"Since she called me and invited me over."

"And you didn't think to run this by me first?"

"I didn't think you'd care."

"Dawn, I need you to watch Liam tonight when I go out for patrol."

Dawn shrugs. "Get Willow or Xander to watch him."

"No, Mama!" Liam suddenly wails. I realize I've said the forbidden word: patrol. Liam knows what it means. It means I'll be gone.

"Sweetie, Mama has to go out."

"No, Mama!" Liam gets up from the floor and climbs into my lap, wrapping his little arms around my neck.

The front door slams, and Dawn had already left.

"No patrol, Mama!"

Looking at Liam, I see that scared little boy who didn't want me to leave him at daycare. Part of me wants to rip off the band-aid. The other part of me can't stand to make to him suffer anymore. He's already loss so much.

"Okay, no patrol. I'll stay home tonight. But I have to go out tomorrow."

Liam throws himself into my arms, hugging me as if he never wants to let go. I rub his back and kiss his cheek. "It's okay. I won't go tonight."

A knock on the door interrupts our moment though, and for a moment, we both stare at the door.

"I wonder who that could be." I stand up, putting Liam down, and he follows me to the door. When I open it, I find Xander waiting on the doorstep.

"Uncle Xander!" Liam waves his arms excitedly.

"Hey, buddy." He then looks up and gives me a timid look. "Hey, Buff."

"Hey."

"Can I come in? I was hoping we could talk."

I nod, then I move aside from the door, allowing him to come inside.

Xander kneels down at Liam's level and gives him a big smile. "I brought a little something for you." He produces a small bag of chocolate chip cookies.

"Cookies!" Liam takes the bag enthusiastically.

"Now you have to ask your mom first before you can have any."

Liam looks up at me with begging eyes and hands me the bag to open. "Mama, open!"

"I suppose you can have some cookies." I hand the cookies back to him. "What do you say to Uncle Xander?"

"Thank you," he mumbles, his mouth already full with cookie.

"Liam, why don't you go take your picture and put it on the refrigerator?" I hand Liam the paper on the coffee table. He grabs it and eagerly runs off to the kitchen.

"So, how are you holding up?" Xander asks as we make our way into the living room.

"I'm okay, I guess. As okay as I can be anyway." I sit down on the couch and Xander takes the seat beside me.

"I brought something for you too." Xander reaches into his pocket and takes out a lollipop. "It's a peace offering. It's a blow pop, your favorite."

"Is it cherry?"

"Of course it's cherry."

He holds the candy out, and I accept it. "Thanks, Xander."

"Look, I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have said what I did and I didn't mean to make you upset. I know you're going through a hard time, and the last thing you need is me being a jackass. I'm sorry, Buffy. I just hope you can accept my apology."

I don't respond immediately and let Xander sweat it out for a moment. "Okay," I finally say. "Apology accepted, but under one condition."

"What's that?"

"I'll never give up on Angel, Xander. No matter how hard you or anyone else tries to convince me he's gone, I won't accept that. I'll wait for him as long as I have to. And if I want to tell Liam his father is coming home, that's my business because I'm his mother. Got it? So for now, when it comes to Angel, I need for you to back off, okay? We're just going to have to agree to disagree."

Xander is quiet for a moment, then nods. "Okay, I will officially back off."

"Thank you."

"So, how's Dawn doing? I passed her outside. She seemed to be in a mood."

"Oh, she's been like that. She thinks that just because Mom is gone that now she can do whatever the hell she wants. She doesn't seem to understand that I'm the one in charge now."

"Want me to talk to her?"

"Yeah, maybe you could talk to her. She seems to listen better to you than she does to me."

Liam trots back into the living room, still clutching his bag of cookies. He climbs back into my lap and bites another cookie.

"I'll talk to her. Well listen, I hate to run, but I got to get to work before my lunch break is over."

"On a Saturday?"

"No rest for construction workers. Liam, you remember to brush your teeth. Okay?"

"I'm gonna brush my teeth!" Liam gives him a wide grin with cookie crumbs all over his face.

"Good." Xander ruffles his hair as he stands up. "Buff, I really am sorry for what I said."

"You're forgiven. You know I can't stay mad at you forever."

"I'll see you, Buff."

* * *

My professor is in the middle of a Freud discussion when my cell phone rings. In my rush to get to class, I had forgotten to put it on silent. I try to ignore the angry glares in my direction as I silence the phone and step outside to take the call. It's Sunnydale High, which means something is up with Dawn.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Miranda at Sunnydale High. Is this Buffy Summers?"

"Yes. What's wrong with Dawn?

"Nothing, but we need you to come pick your sister up."

"Why?"

"She's been suspended."

* * *

The clock on the wall in the principal's office ticks loudly as Dawn and I sit in the two chairs in front of the desk.

"I cannot believe I had to be dragged out of class for _this."_

"Oh like you're one to talk ' _Ms. I burned down my high school gym and was expelled'_."

"That was a completely different—"

The door shuts behind us, interrupting my retort, and Principal Wood walks around the desk. "Ms. Summers, thank you for coming."

"Please, call me Buffy."

"Okay. Dawn, why don't you tell your sister why we're here?"

Dawn doesn't reply, and instead, sits there with a sullen look on her face.

"Dawn, I don't have time to waste." I realize my tone is the same one I use on Liam sometimes, which is appropriate since Dawn is acting like a child right now.

"I got upset, okay? I lost my temper. Big deal."

"Yes, it is a big deal," the principal says as he looks at Dawn.

"What did you do, Dawn? Did you get in a fight?"

Dawn makes a snorting sound. "Do I look like I've been in a fight?"

"Dawn said some words to her teacher today."

"What did you say, Dawnie?" When Dawn doesn't answer, I look to the principal. "What did she say?"

"I'd rather not repeat what was said, but regardless, her language was inappropriate. And we have zero tolerance for students talking back to their teachers. Isn't that right, Dawn?"

Dawn nods. "Yes, sir."

"Alright. So what's going to happen is that you're going to be suspended for three days. And when you come back to school on Monday, I'm going to see a better attitude from you. Do you understand?"

Dawn nods again.

"I can't hear you."

"Yes, sir."

I watch this scene unfold, amazed. Principal Wood is serious. I wish I could get Dawn to respect me like that.

"Good," Principal Wood says. "I suggest you take your books home. I don't want you to fall behind in your classes."

"Oh don't worry, I'll make sure of that. Right, Dawnie?"

"Whatever."

"Dawn, get your things and go wait out in the car. I want to talk to your principal for a minute."

"Fine, I'm ready to go anyway."

Dawn grabs her bag and walks out of the room. Even though I can't see her face, I'm certain she's rolling her eyes at me.

"Principal Wood, I'm very sorry for my sister's behavior. Ever since our mother…she's been like this. And I know that's not an excuse for her behavior, but—"

"Ms. Sum—Buffy, you don't need to explain Dawn's behavior. I understand what she's going through and I know she's under a lot of stress. And high school is hard, as I'm sure you well know."

"I just hate that her senior year has got off to such a rocky start. I don't want anything to jeopardize her chances of getting into college."

"Look, I think Dawn's a good kid, but she's experienced a big loss. You both have. It's going to take some time for Dawn to adjust. But I think she'll be okay. And you will too."

"It's been really hard. How do you adjust to something like that?"

"I know it's difficult. And I understand your father has been out of the picture leaving you in charge. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to have to suddenly take on the role as parent."

"Oh, I already know. I have a little boy. He's two and half. It's just that now…"

"You have your hands full?"

"Exactly. It's been hard, I won't lie. I can't even concentrate on my own classes, so I can only imagine how Dawn must feel."

"UC Sunnydale?"

"Yeah. I graduate in May. If I can make it through these last two semesters that is."

"What are you majoring in?"

"Psychology. Isn't that ironic? I should probably know the kinds of things to say to Dawn in this sort of situation. God knows we've covered all sorts of subjects in my classes. But I don't know what to say to Dawn to help her. I don't even think she listens to me."

"Oh, I don't know about that. I think you have more of an effect on her than you realize. She looks up to you."

"Have you seen me and my sister? We get along like cats and dogs."

"She's a teenage girl. It's completely normal for her to rebel. But I wouldn't dismiss the influence you have on her. In fact, I think we could use someone like you around here."

"What do you mean?"

"We've been looking for someone who can talk to the students. We have this community outreach program, and the money we could pay…well, it wouldn't be much. It would only be just a couple of days of week. If you're interested, I think you might be perfect for it. And we could work around your class schedule."

"Are you asking me to be a counselor?"

"Well, not exactly. We have a guidance counselor, but I think the kids might open up to someone a little closer to their age. You could be like a mentor to them. What do you think?"

"I think I'm a little…surprised. Why me?"

"Why not you? I think you could inspire them, and the students could relate to you. Some of them even have files thicker than yours."

"You've readmy file?"

"Yeah, it's quite a page turner. You have kind of a checkered past."

"More like a plaid. Kind of a clan tartan of badness, really. But there were factors."

"Yes, I'm quite aware of what goes on here."

"I don't think you know the half of it."

"Oh believe me, I know a lot. And especially about you, and not just your thick file. My mother was a slayer too."

"You…know?"

"Why do you think I took this job? This place is a hot spot for activity. I like to help when I can."

"So you don't work in an office fifteen feet above the hellmouth because you enjoy educational administration?"

He laughs. "No, I enjoy the work too. So what do you say? You interested? You could help me keep an eye on this place. It might even give you a chance to keep an eye on your sister too. You'd be amazed at how well-behaved students are when their parents take more of an initiative to be involved. Or…sisters too."

I think about it briefly and make a decision. "Okay, I'm in."

"Great. Why don't I call you next week and we'll go over the details and you can let me know what your schedule looks like?"

"Okay. Thank you so much, Principal Wood. I like you better than Snyder already."

"Please, call me Robin."

* * *

Dawn shoots an annoyed look at me when I get back to the car.

"What took you so long? Were you talking about me?"

"Principal Wood just got offered me a job."

"A job? _Here_?"

"Yeah."

"Doing _what_?"

"I don't know. Like a peer mentor I guess."

"Oh you have got to be kidding me! You said no, right?"

"No, I want to do it."

"Oh this is _great_! You mean to tell me that not only do I have to deal with you at home, but I have to deal with you at _school_ too?"

"It's only for a couple days a week. And we need the money."

"Great," Dawn mutters, turning to stare out the window.

"Oh, and by the way, when we get home, you're totally grounded."

"Well this day just keeps getting better and better."


	44. Another Thanksgiving

**a/n:** Sorry for the wait. I've been so busy lately and I just got back from vacation so I haven't had much time to look at this. I'm going to try to get back on track soon. Thanks for your patience and I'm amazed there are actually people still reading this story. I promise the end will be worth the wait.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 44 – ANOTHER THANKSGIVING**

 _ **November, 2003**_

Robin peeks into my cubicle as I'm organizing my files. "Slow day, huh?"

"Just a little, but a great time for organizing."

"It'll pick up next week. The holidays always bring a little…drama."

"This is true."

Robin crosses his arms and leans against the wall of the cube. "So, how are you liking the job? Are you going stay after graduation?"

I've been at this job for about a month now, and I'm surprised to find that I really enjoy it. "I like it. I like it a lot."

"Well I think you've been doing great. The kids seem to like you."

"Thanks. Oh, and you were right. There are students that have thicker files than mine."

Robin laughs. "So, any big Thanksgiving plans?"

"No, not particularly. Dawn's spending the night with a friend. It'll be just me and Liam. But it's no big deal. I'm not really a big fan of Thanksgiving anymore."

I'm sure a shadow must fall on my face, because Robin suddenly looks pained, as if he has realized he has stuck his foot in his mouth. "I'm sorry. That was probably insensitive of me. This Thanksgiving must be hard for your family."

He doesn't say why, but I know what he's implying. _Because our mother isn't here this year._

"Yeah, there's that. But even before then, I didn't like Thanksgiving."

Robin looks confused. "Are you a vegetarian?"

I laugh, and Robin looks pleased to have gotten a smile out of me. "No, I love turkey. The food is always great. It's just the memories associated with it."

Robin sits on the edge of my desk. "You want to talk about it?"

"Isn't that my line?" I tease.

Robin smiles. "I'm a good listener. But you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to talk about it."

"Thanksgiving was once very happy for me. I always enjoyed it. But one year was really special."

Robin doesn't say anything. He waits for me to continue.

"Technically is wasn't actually Thanksgiving Day. It was the weekend after. My boyfriend Angel and I…well, we reunited. We were very happy."

"I'm sensing a 'but'."

"But things didn't last."

"He left you?" Robin asks.

"No. Yes. Well, not exactly." I look at Robin, and decide to tell him what I've never told anyone outside of my circle of friends. Robin can handle it. He lives on the hellmouth. He's seen strange things happen. "He helped me fight. And one day we were fighting these demons, and he got sucked into a portal. That was three years ago. I haven't seen him since."

"Buffy…I'm, I'm sorry." He ponders something for a moment, then opens his mouth to ask. "Is he Liam's father?"

I nod. "Yeah. I never got to tell Angel I was pregnant. I didn't even know I was when he left. So you see, Thanksgiving was sort of like, going to be an anniversary for us. But we never even made it that far. And now the holiday…well, it just makes me sad."

"Perhaps you might like a distraction."

"A distraction?"

"I'm new in town, so I invited several of the teachers who didn't have any other plans for a little Thanksgiving get together. You're welcome to come too. And you can bring Liam of course. I can't promise the food will be any good, but I can promise there will be alcohol."

"Educators drink?"

Robin laughs. "We work at a high school on a hellmouth. Do we need a better reason than that?"

I smile back. "Point taken. I should introduce you to my friend Doyle."

"So, what do you say? Will you come?"

"That's very nice of you to offer, but I'm sorry. I have to decline."

"Are you sure?"

"I know everyone wants to make sure I'm not alone, but sometimes you're just not up for company. You know?"

Robin nods. "I understand."

"But thank you anyway."

"Well, if you change your mind, my offer still stands."

"Thanks."

"Why don't you go home. It's dead here anyway."

"A lot of things are dead here," I reply.

* * *

I've just put Liam down for the night, and now the house is quiet. In the living room, I pick up Liam's hand-traced turkey he made in daycare and smile. I know one day, I'm going to look at this and be amazed at how small his hand once was. This is definitely a keeper, so I pick it up and bring it the kitchen. I find a place for it on the fridge next to some of Liam's other artwork.

A small part of me feels guilty for not giving Liam the traditional Thanksgiving this year, but he's still little and probably won't remember anyway. Besides, all he wanted to eat tonight was chicken nuggets.

Along with Liam's artwork, there's a shopping list, some takeout menus, and some photographs stuck to the fridge with a dozen mismatched magnets. I stare at the photographs tacked to the fridge. There's one of Liam, one of me and Liam, and one of me with Dawn and our mother. I run my finger over my mother's smiling face. "I miss you, Mom."

Looking up, I see one of my favorite pictures…me and Angel. "I miss you too, Angel," I say as I touch his face.

 _I'm so happy, Angel. I hope I'm always this happy._

 _Who says you won't be? We're together, and I'm not going anywhere this time._

I feel a tear sting my eye as a memory of Angel and I surfaces. I quickly wipe it away with my finger. I don't want to cry.

"I haven't given up, Angel. I promise I'll never stop trying to bring you back home." I touch Angel's picture one more time, as if I could reach into the picture and touch his face, then turn away to walk toward the phone. I dial a number, and Cordelia picks up on the third ring.

"Hi, Cordelia. It's Buffy."

"Hey, Buffy. How are you? Scratch that…stupid question." Cordelia knows what Thanksgiving means to me. "So what's going on?"

"I was thinking maybe I could come down this weekend. That is, if you and Doyle don't have any plans. It's been a while since we've had a research party. What do you say?"

"Oh, Buffy, I'm sorry, but we can't. Doyle's exhausted. He's got a really tough group of kids this year and he's told me repeatedly that he wants to do nothing but drink and decompress this weekend."

"Guess there's a lot of that going around," I remark, thinking of Robin. Cordelia must have not heard me because she continues on.

"And I don't have time to get together this weekend because…well, I hadn't had a chance to tell you yet, but I got a part in a movie!"

"You did? That's great! Tell me about it!"

"Well, it's just a small part in a little movie. No major actors or anything. Just a bunch of C-list celebrities and has-beens. And I wouldn't have even gotten the role except for the fact that the girl they originally wanted came down with mono at the last minute, so then the part went to me! YAY!"

"Sucks for the girl with mono, but yay for you!"

"I know, right! But anyway, this has all sort of happened really fast. And I've got like a ton of lines to memorize. I'm sure they'll end up cutting half my scenes once all is said and done, but at least I nabbed the role!"

"That's great news, Cordelia. I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks. This acting business is taking a lot longer than I thought it would. But who knows…maybe this could be my big break!"

"So they've got you working over Thanksgiving weekend?"

"Ugh, I know. The producer is real jackass and he's got a deadline. He wants to wrap this thing up before Christmas."

"Well good luck. 'Break a leg' as they say."

"Thanks. Listen, I'm sorry I can't help you this weekend. Once this movie is over, I promise we'll get together."

"Okay, that's fine. We'll do that."

Cordelia must detect a somber tone in my voice. "Buffy, you know Doyle and I haven't given up on trying to bring Angel back. It's just that it's been so long and life…goes on. We've been so wrapped up in other things lately."

"I know."

"But that doesn't mean I don't want to see him come back home. And that doesn't mean I don't think we'll ever see him again. I hope you know that, Buffy."

"I do, and thanks for saying that."

In the background, I hear Doyle's voice. I can't make out what he's saying, but he's either really drunk, really amorous, or both possibly.

"Listen, I got to go, Buffy. We'll get together. I'll call you, okay?"

"Okay. Bye. And congrats again."

As Cordelia hangs up the phone, I hear Doyle's voice again and Cordelia laughing. At least someone is having a good Thanksgiving.

I hang up the phone, then seconds later, pick it up again. I dial another number, and he answers on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Robin. It's Buffy."

"Buffy, hey. I hate to tell you this, but you missed the fun. However I do have plenty of leftovers which you are more than welcome to. Please, I don't know what I'm going to do with all of this food," he adds with a laugh.

"That sounds good, but I was actually calling about something else. I was uh…I was hoping you'd be up for helping me with something."

"Sure, what do you need?"

"You know what, never mind. I don't want to trouble you with this. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

"Buffy, you're not bothering me at all. Just tell me what you need. If I can help, I'd be glad to."

"Okay. Well…do you enjoy researching?"

Robin laughs on the other end. "Buffy, I was raised by my mother's watcher and I'm an educator. What do you think?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"So what is it you're researching? Vampire? Demon?"

"A demon. A species of demon actually. I had my friend Anya order me some books I hope will be helpful, but I haven't had a chance to look through them yet. And I've been working at this for so long…sometimes just a fresh pair of eyes can see something I missed."

"Well I'm free in the morning tomorrow. I could come over around nine if that works for you."

"That's perfect."

"Great, I'll see you then."

"Thanks. Oh, and Robin?"

"Yeah?"

"Bring those leftovers."

* * *

Right at nine o'clock, the doorbell rings.

"Door!" Liam shouts as he runs to the door. I'm glad he doesn't know how to open them yet.

I undo the lock and open the door. Robin is standing on the porch holding a big box. "Hey, Robin, come on in."

"Hi, Buffy."

"Liam, do you remember Mr. Robin?"

Liam suddenly turns shy. Robin puts the box down on the floor and kneels down to his level. "I certainly remember you. And I brought you a little something." He pulls out of his pocket a small car, which Liam happily takes.

"Wow, that's a cool car, Liam! What do you tell Mr. Robin?"

"Thank you."

Robin smiles. "You're welcome."

"Liam, Mr. Robin and I have some work to do, so why don't you go to the living room and watch some cartoons, okay?"

"Yeah!" Liam cheers as he runs over to the couch.

"He's a cute kid," Robin tells me.

"Thanks. So, how many leftovers did you bring?" I ask, eying the huge box Robin brought.

Robin laughs. "It doesn't fill the whole box, I assure you."

"Come sit it down on table."

I lead Robin into the dining room and he places the box on the table. "It's actually two boxes," he tells me as he begins to unload it. "Leftover turkey, yams, cornbread, and more are all here." He pulls out a box from within the box containing all of the leftovers.

I take the lid off one of the casserole dishes and get a waft of food smell. "Looks good. Smells good too. What else you got in there?"

At the bottom of the other box, Robin then pulls out a stack of small leather-bound books. I recognize what they are immediately. Giles had the same kind of books. "Watcher diaries?" I pick up one and flip through it.

"Yes. These are all of the diaries Bernard left behind. I thought if anyone could use them, it would be you."

"Yes, I could. Thanks a lot."

"Mommy! I can't find cartoons!"

"I better go help. Let me go get Liam set up with one of his movies. That'll keep him occupied longer because there's no commercials. Can you put the food in the fridge?"

"Sure, no problem."

"Mommy!"

"Coming, Liam!"

Five minutes later, Liam is settled on the couch with a movie, and Robin and I are sitting at the table with several books spread before us.

"So, tell me what we're researching," Robin starts.

I dig through the stack of books and open to the page I'd bookmarked earlier. "These guys. Dimension hoppers."

I show Robin the sketch in the book. He takes the book to get a closer look.

"Ever heard of them?"

"Actually, yes, I have. I'm very familiar with them."

This is surprising. Even Giles didn't know much about them when we had first started researching them. "What do you know about them?"

"I know they're dangerous, and greedy. Sort of the conquistadors of the demon world if you will. But you probably already knew all of that."

"Yeah."

"Why the interest in this demon species? Should I be…concerned?"

"Oh, no. It's not a current threat or anything. I saw these demons three and a half years ago."

Robin takes this information in, then his eyes widen. "These are the demons you and Angel were fighting when he disappeared into the portal."

"Yes. I'm so scared for him, Robin. Whatever world he's in, these demons are there too."

"Buffy, what exactly are you hoping to find out about them?"

I shrug. "Anything that helps, I suppose. My main goal is to find Angel and to bring him home. For that to happen, I need a portal. And the only clue I have about his whereabouts is these demons."

"Well I can tell you this. Whatever world these demons came from…it's not their own."

"I know they move around a lot, but are you sure about that?"

Robin nods. "It's believed that whatever world they originated from, it was destroyed. So they have no permanent home. Instead, they make whatever world they invade their own."

I put my palms to my cheeks and sigh. Somehow hearing this makes me even more desperate to find Angel. He _is_ in a hell world. "He was sent there. To help."

"Pardon?"

"These Oracles I spoke to. All they would tell me was that Angel was somewhere he was needed. Wherever he is, he's probably fighting these demons off. But for three years? We took care of these demons on the docks in three minutes."

"Yes, but where he is, there's probably hundreds, maybe thousands of them."

I'm silent for a while as I think about what Robin has just said. I think I knew this all along, but somehow hearing it just makes it more believable. My Angel is lost in a hell world with hundreds of these demons. Maybe the reason he can't come home is because for some reason, these demons have prevented him from doing so. It may be up to me. I need to bring him back home.

"Alright," Robin says, tearing me away from my thoughts. "I guess we should get cracking." He reaches across the table for a book and opens it.

"You said you were familiar with them. I get the sense you know a lot more about them. Have you ever seen them before?"

"Only pictures. They kind of look like…"

"...the Klingons from Star Trek," we say in unison.

Robin laughs. "Yeah, like those guys. They've been to our world more than once."

"They have? When?"

"When I was fourteen, Bernard and I lived in Beverly Hills. It wasn't the hellmouth, but it was close enough. And even though Bernard had left the Council years ago, he still had contacts and friends there. Someone was always calling upon his expertise on something. He was sort of a…renowned watcher in their circle."

"Yeah, even Giles had heard of him."

"One day, some watcher in Cleveland asked if his slayer could stay with us while she tracked down a group of demons in our area. That wasn't unusual. Given that we had our share of supernatural activity, our house was sort of a rotating door for slayers from all over. And the only reason I remember this girl is because I had a major crush on her."

I smile, trying to picture fourteen-year-old Robin crushing after a girl probably two years his senior.

"Tia Campbell," Robin says with a smile. "She wasn't the easiest girl to get along with. In fact, I'm pretty sure she didn't like me at all. But I was fourteen and I was hormonal. That didn't stop me from liking her."

I laugh.

"Anyway, the group of demons she had been tracking had been these guys. I remember Bernard and I sitting around the table and researching them into the early hours of the morning. Tia, of course, had no part in that. She said her job was to fight, not to research."

"And what did you find out about them?"

"Nothing useful, other than the fact that they constantly invade different worlds."

"I guess Tia must have taken care of them."

"Yes, she did. A week later, she was back in Cleveland. I never heard from her again. Obviously she…well, you know."

"One slayer dies, another one is born."

We're quiet for a moment, then I take Robin's lead and select one of my books. I bookmark any pages of interest, have Robin reread the passages to see if I missed anything. Nothing jumps out at me. Just the same story, only a different book.

Sometime later, Liam walks over to us at the table. Movies sometimes make Liam tired, and he rubs his eyes as he moves to climb into my lap.

"Is your movie already over, baby?"

Liam nods. "I'm hungry."

I glance at the clock on the wall, realizing the time. "Oh wow, it is almost lunch time. Robin brought us over some turkey. How about I make us some sandwiches?"

"Okay."

"Robin, I could make you a sandwich too. It's the least I could do for your help today."

"No thanks necessary. I forgot how much I enjoy researching. I'm just sorry I couldn't help more. Portals and magic just really aren't my forte. But give me a book about creatures of the night and I'm your guy."

"That's okay. I appreciate your help anyway. So, should I fix you a plate?"

Robin starts to stand. "I'd love to, but I can't. I've got a few errands I need to take care of this afternoon. Besides, I've got plenty more leftovers at home." He laughs at this. "I appreciate you taking some of it. I'd hate all that good food to go to waste."

"Oh it definitely won't go to waste here. And if we can't finish it, I'll just call my friend Xander. He's a bottomless pit and will eat anything."

Robin laughs again.

I put Liam down and stand to my feet. "Well thanks for coming over. Liam, say goodbye to Mr. Robin."

"Bye," Liam says with a wave.

"See you later, Liam." Robin then looks up at me. "And I guess I'll see you on Monday."

"Bright and early," I say as I walk him to the door. "And Robin? Thanks again. It really means a lot that you were willing to help me."

"You're welcome. I enjoyed it. Take care."

"Bye."

I linger at the door for a moment and watch as Robin walks to his car. Dawn passes him as she makes her way to the porch. I wave at Robin, then open the door for Dawnie.

"Why was Principal Wood here?" She looks panicked, like she's just been busted doing something bad.

"Don't worry, you're not in trouble."

Dawn visibly relaxes. "Oh, okay. But what was he doing here? Were you talking about me?"

"To be honest, Dawn, your name never came up."

Liam tugs my shirt. "Mommy, can we eat now?"

"Yes, we'll go eat now. You can help me make lunch."

I take Liam's hand and we walk into the kitchen. Dawn follows me.

"So what was he doing here?"

"I asked him to come over."

"Why? Wait, you and Principal Wood aren't…" She leaves the question unfinished, though I have a pretty good idea at what she's asking.

"Together? No, of course not. I asked Robin to help me with a…project."

"What project?"

"He was helping me with some research, alright?"

"Researching what?"

Something about the expression on my face must give it away, and Dawn nods in understanding. "You were researching another way to bring home Angel."

"Liam, go to the bathroom and wash your hands, okay?"

Liam does as he's told, and I turn back to the task of making sandwiches.

"Did you find anything useful?" Dawn asks.

"Not really."

Dawn moves closer to me. "I'm sorry, Buffy."

"Yeah, well, it was a long shot anyway. Want a turkey sandwich?" I ask her, quickly changing the subject.

"Sure," she says, then reaches into the cabinet to pull out a plate for herself.


	45. Another Christmas

**A/N:** This chapter wasn't originally part of my story. I was sort of hoping to quietly ignore the whole Spike/Robin situation. But the more I thought about it, I realized if I didn't address the issue, people would call me out on it. So, here it is.

 **CHAPTER 45 - ANOTHER CHRISTMAS**

It's hard to believe that another Christmas is almost here. Neither Dawn or I say it, but I know we both feel our mother's absence.

While I untangle the lights, Dawn unpacks the Christmas ornaments. Liam is thrilled and has already started putting the decorations on the tree. I better hurry with the lights before all the decorations end up at the bottom.

A knock on the door interrupts our fun. After I untangle myself from the lights, I go to answer it.

It's Spike.

"What do you want? I'm kind of busy right now."

Spike ignores my question and invites himself in. He glances at our tree then turns back to me. "Sorry, you'll have to deck the halls later. We've got trouble."

"Where?"

"Where else? The hellmouth of course."

"Vampire or demon?"

"Demon. A group of them actually."

I look to the living room where my son and sister are still decorating the tree. Liam has put an ornament on my sister's head, and Dawn is bobbing her head, making Liam laugh.

"Can't you take care of it? I was sort of hoping for a drama-free evening."

"Well sure, if you trust me to handle a group of demons preparing to open the hellmouth."

Of course. I can never get a relaxing evening.

"What are they? Do you know?"

Spike pulls out a familiar looking book from his coat pocket and opens it to a dog-eared page.

"Did you steal that book from the magic shop?"

"I borrowed it. Do you want to know what the demon is or not?"

"Fine. What is it?"

Spike hands me the book. I skim the passage and sigh. By this point, Dawn is looking at me with concern.

"Do you have to…?" She leaves her question unfinished.

I nod. "Yeah. I'm sorry. You and Liam will have to finish the tree without me. But leave the star for me, okay?"

"Okay," Dawn says, and I'm glad she's being agreeable for once.

"Liam, Mommy has to go for a while, but I'll be back, okay?"

I worry as I kiss Liam goodbye that he'll get upset, but he's so interested in the box of ornaments that he practically ignores me.

I grab my jacket from the hook and take one more look at them. Liam and Dawn are already back to their little game. I wish I could play too, but duty calls. My life as a slayer.

* * *

We find a busted window when we arrive at the school. We crawl through the window and step into the chemistry lab. A sense of deja vu comes over me. Yeah, it's like high school all over again.

Spike picks up the demons' scent and we head down the hallway.

Spike walks to a door, which should be locked but clearly isn't, and opens it. The door leads to the basement, and as a matter of fact, right below Robin's office. Yep, the hellmouth alright.

It's there that we find the demons in question. Spike and I glance at each other, then get to work.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the school is littered with the bodies of the scar-faced demons. A few got away, but they won't be coming back. But just in case, I decide to do a final sweep of the area.

When I turn the corner, I run into someone. I realize seconds later that it's Robin.

"Oh, Robin. You're here. I was going to call you."

"The school's alarm went off. I got a call. What's going on?"

"Just your typical Friday night hellmouth action. Some scar-face demons broke in. It's been taken care of. Except for the broken window in the chemistry lab. Might want to get that fixed."

"Scar-face demon?" Robin asks me in confusion.

"Oh, that's not what they're really called. I can't remember the correct term. But they're dead now."

"I'll clear out the bodies," Spike says from somewhere behind me. I glance behind me to see him carrying one of the dead demons out the door.

"Oh my god. It's him."

I turn back to Robin. "You know Spike?"

"Buffy, what are you doing with him? Please tell me you're not friends."

I can't help but laugh. "I wouldn't exactly call him a friend. More like someone I tolerate."

"Buffy, he's dangerous. We need to get out of here."

Robin takes my arm and leads me to his office where he then barricades the door with a chair.

"That's not going to keep him out."

"I can't believe I've been looking for him and all his time I never thought to ask you!"

"Robin, what's going on?"

It's dark in Robin's office, but I can tell that he looks alarmed, panicked even. I've never seen him like this before.

"Do you know how dangerous that vampire is? What the hell are you doing?"

Now he seems angry, kind of like Giles scolding me when I was a teenager.

"He's not that dangerous. At least, not anymore."

"A vampire is always dangerous, but especially that one."

"You don't have to tell me what kind of vampire Spike is. Trust me, I know. The two of us have had our share of encounters. But Spike is different now. He can't hurt humans anymore. He has a chip in his brain. It gives him a jolt if he does."

This news seems to give him pause. "A chip?"

"Yeah. Put in by the military actually. They were doing all sorts of tests on vamps and demons. It's a long story. But the point is he can't hurt humans anymore, so instead, he takes his rage out on other creatures of the night. He uh...he helps me sometimes."

"Still, you shouldn't underestimate him. It's not safe to associate with him."

"Robin, where is this coming from? You said you were looking for him, but why?"

"Because, he's the vampire who killed my mother."

* * *

Robin tells me everything. He tells me how he witnessed his mother fighting Spike, and her eventual death by his hand. He tells me about being raised by his mother's watcher, which I already knew. But I never suspected that the vampire who killed his mother could be Spike.

"I've been tracking him for years," Robin says. "I knew he was in Sunnydale years ago, then left. I then tracked him to South America, then lost him. Then I heard he had returned to Sunnydale. It was at that time the job came available, which wasn't a coincidence to me. It was fate."

"Robin, I'm so sorry about your mother. I had no idea about…" Spike's role in it, I mentally add.

Robin leans forward and looks at me with a serious expression on his face. "Buffy, you have to kill him."

* * *

I don't run into Spike on the way home. I'm glad I don't, because if I had seen him, I might have killed him.

After losing my own mother, my emotions are running high. I could not fathom keeping Spike alive had he killed my own mother. I try to put myself in Robin's shoes. I don't blame him one bit for his feelings toward Spike.

But a nagging thought in the back of my mind keeps bothering me. How can I kill someone who helped save my sister's life? How can I kill someone who has helped me in the field numerous times? Spike has even been a valuable source of intel, my eyes and ears to the underworld.

Has Spike truly changed? Or is he using me like Robin thinks, biding his time until he finds my weakness? Gaining my trust so that he can take me down?

If he had a soul, like Angel, I might be more accepting of him. But he doesn't. I can't trust him.

And yet, for some strange reason, I do.

* * *

The tree is decorated when I get home. The ornaments are evenly distributed and I see Dawn has managed to untangle the lights. The only thing missing is the star, which Liam picks up when he sees me.

"Here, Mommy!" Liam runs to me and hands me the star.

"Thank you, baby. The tree looks great!"

"It does now once I got the burned out bulbs replaced," Dawn replies.

"Put it on, Mommy!"

At Liam's insistence, I place the star on top of the tree. We ooh and ahh over it, and Liam squeals in delight. I'm glad he can be happy again.

"So is everything alright?" Dawn asks, referring to my outing.

"Yeah, everything's fine," I lie.

Dawn gives me a look like she doesn't believe me, but she doesn't question me further.

* * *

Spike is banging on his television in a poor attempt to get a reception when I enter his crypt.

He glances at me briefly. "You ever hear of knocking?"

"You need to leave town."

Spike stares at me with a look of confusion on his face. "And why would I do that?"

"Because if you don't leave Sunnydale in twenty-four hours, I'm going to kill you."

This seems to get his attention. "What did I do to piss you off?"

"It's not what you did to me. It's what you did to a friend of mine."

Spike laughs. "I didn't hurt any of your little Scooby friends. I can't hurt anyone. Don't you remember the chip in my brain?" He points to his head.

"I'm not talking about something recent. Does the name Nikki Wood ring any bells?"

At the mention of her, Spike actually has the nerve to grin. "Ahh, Nikki Wood. I haven't thought about her in a long time."

"You sound proud of killing her."

"She was a slayer. I'm a vampire."

"She was also the mother of a friend of mine."

Spike shrugs. "Small world."

"No, not a small world. He's been tracking you. And last night at the school, he finally found you."

"Oh yeah, that guy you work with. Isn't he the principal?"

"Doesn't matter who he is. What matters is that you're going to pack up your crypt and you're going to leave town. If you don't, I'll have no choice but to kill you. Do we have an understanding?"

"You know, did you ever think of how Nikki's death affected you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Think about it. If I hadn't killed Nikki, she may have lived longer. Maybe you wouldn't have been called a slayer. Maybe it would have been someone else. You would have never met Angel, never had Liam."

I stop to think about that for a moment. Spike, in his own, twisted way, is right. Events that happened in the past have in some way, shaped my future. But I then come to my senses. "Still, that doesn't change the fact that what you did was wrong. Leave town, Spike. I don't want to be forced to kill you."

With that, I head to the door. "Twenty-four hours," I call out, then leave.

* * *

The next day, I stop by Spike's crypt with my stake in hand. I don't believe he will be gone, and the thought of having to kill him makes me oddly nervous. I've killed vampires before. And it's not exactly like I like him or anything. I guess in some way, he's another connection to Angel that I don't want to lose.

I take a deep breath and enter the crypt. When I see that all of Spike's belongings are cleared out, I breathe a sigh of relief.

* * *

I dread Monday morning. Right away, Robin calls me into his office. He shuts the door behind us, and I feel like I'm in high school all over again.

"Well? Is it done?" he asks.

"He's gone."

"So he's dead?"

Of course Robin would need confirmation. It must take me too long to answer, because Robin looks anxious.

"Buffy, is he dead?"

I take a deep breath. "No."

"You just said he was gone!" Robin's eyes seem to be bulging out of his sockets. I don't think I've ever seen him this angry before.

"I told him to leave town. I told him I would kill him if he stayed."

Robin's confusion and anger is evident. "Why the hell would you do that?"

"Look, I'm not approving of what Spike has done in the past, and if I were in your shoes, I'd want him dead too. But I'm the wrong person to ask to do this."

"I don't understand, Buffy. He's a vampire. You're a slayer."

"That's because you see things in black and white. I see the world in shades of gray. Look, you weren't here when Spike helped me save my sister. You weren't there when he helped keep my family safe. Even when I was pregnant and couldn't patrol, he helped keep Sunnydale safe. So you see, as crazy as it sounds, there's a small part of him I believe is good."

Robin lets out an exasperated breath. "Buffy, it's all an act. Can't you see that? Okay, I get he has a chip in his brain, but that doesn't mean he can't find another way to hurt you. He's a vampire. There should be no question that he is evil."

His comment strikes a chord in me. "You're wrong. Not all vampires are evil."

"Buffy, you're a slayer. You of all people should know how dangerous vampires are. Spike is-"

"I wasn't talking about Spike. I was talking about Angel."

I can see Robin trying to wrap his mind around that statement. He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it.

"You're wondering how a vampire could father a child."

"I'm wondering about a lot of things at the moment."

"Angel isn't a vampire anymore. His blood mixed with that of a Mohra demon which has regenerating properties."

"Enough to turn him human?"

I nod. "Yeah, we were pretty surprised too. Who knew we had stumbled upon the cure for vampirism?"

"But wait, if he was a vampire, why hadn't you killed him before?"

"Oh, I did kill him once. Angel and I have a very...complicated past. But if you're wondering why I thought he was good, it was because he had a soul."

"Vampires don't have souls."

"Angel did. He killed a gypsy girl who was a favorite among her clan. The elders punished him with a soul. After that, Angel didn't like killing humans. He felt guilt for every person he killed. So you see, it's not black and white. Angel had done some very bad things, but he did a lot of good too."

"Angel. Why does that name sound familiar?"

"You probably know him as Angelus."

" _Angelus?_ Angel is _Angelus_?"

Robin seems genuinely shocked.

"So you've heard of him."

"I was raised by a watcher. Of course I've heard of him."

"Look, Robin, if Spike becomes a problem, I will kill him. You have my word on that. But don't tell me how to do my job. I'll decide when and if he's a threat."

"I can't say I agree with you or trust your judgement."

"Then we'll have to agree to disagree."

Robin nods. "I guess so."

"Am I...fired?"

Robin smiles, the first smile I've seen from him this morning. "No, of course not. Look, I'm sorry I went all 'watcher' on you. It's a habit hard to break when you grew up with one."

"It's ok. And for what it's worth, I'm really sorry about your mother. I'm sorry I can't help you carry out your vengeance."

"Buffy, just promise me one thing. Please be careful, and watch your back."

"I always do."

* * *

The phone rings on Christmas Eve. At first, I assume it will be my Aunt Arlene, who had been making a point to call us during the holidays since Mom passed. But when I pick up the phone, it's Robin.

"Robin, what's up?"

"It's the school alarm. It's gone off again. I think we might have more trouble."

Of course we would, and it's Christmas Eve.

But I take a deep breath and put on a grin as if I'm happy to have my evening disrupted...again. "Okay, be there in five."

Dawn walks into the room with a glass of milk and a plate of chocolate chip cookies for "Santa". She sees me hang up the phone and the annoyed expression on my face. "What's wrong?"

"That was Robin. Something is up at the school. I have to go check it out."

"But it's Christmas Eve."

"I know, but evil doesn't wait for a convenient time."

I look to the couch where my little boy sleeps. He insisted on staying downstairs so he could catch Santa. I knew he wouldn't last. "Can you do me a favor? Will you put Liam's presents under the tree for me?"

"Sure. Here, have a cookie before you go. I have to make Liam think Santa ate them."

I take a cookie, then lean down to kiss Liam. I want nothing more than to stay here with him, but once again, duty calls.

* * *

This time, the demons, or whoever broke into the school, broke the door to get in. Robin and I quickly survey the damage, knowing whoever did this is incredibly strong, then head inside.

On a hunch, I head to the doors leading to the basement. Sure enough, this door has been unlocked too.

I glance at Robin. "Maybe you should leave this to me. It is sort of my job."

Robin shakes his head and holds up the axe he brought. "No, I'm not letting you go down there by yourself. Don't worry, I can handle my own. Grew up with a watcher, remember?"

I shrug. "Alright, suit yourself. But if it gets too dangerous for you, don't hesitate to get out of there."

Robin nods, and together, we head down the stairs to the basement.

The lighting down here is terrible, though the basement doesn't have a huge need for natural light. Probably one thing that attracts all things hellmouth to it. It's like a sewer, dark and smelly.

We head down a hallway, then stop when we hear the sounds of chanting. I peer around the wall to get a look, and then I see them. The demons from last week are back, at least the ones that survived that is. I was wrong in my assumption that they wouldn't return. They're back to finish what they started...and that's bad news. If the hellmouth is opened, and if the hellbeast is unleashed, this could be very bad news. It's what Giles always warned me about. I belatedly wish I had called Giles and given him an update. Too late now.

Giving Robin a look, I let him know without words that a surprise attack is in order. He holds up his axe in response.

I turn around and prepare myself, but before I can move forward, someone grabs me from behind. I see a scaly hand wrap around me as a dingy-looking cloth is pressed against my nose. And then, I see nothing at all...

* * *

When I wake up, my head feels fuzzy. My legs and neck are cramped, and I soon realize why. I'm sitting on the floor in a very small janitor's closet. The smell of cleaning solutions and chemicals is overwhelming.

Across from me, Robin sits. He's awake. "You okay?" he asks.

"What happened?" I ask, trying to recall how we ended up here.

"I think it was chloroform," Robin answers. "They got me too."

Suddenly, the gravity of the situation hits me. We're trapped here for a reason. The demons want us out of their way so they can resume their plans.

"Damn it, they must have known I would show up. They were waiting for me. Robin, we have to get out of here! We have to stop them!"

I stand up and bang my elbow on a shelf, but I can't let the pain bother me. I frantically push on the door to no avail.

"I've tried that already."

I ignore Robin and continue trying to push the door open.

"It's padlocked," Robin says. "I know it is, because I ordered it to be. The chemicals in this closet are hazardous."

"I can break through a padlock." I try to push the door open again. "Maybe." The door, however, will not budge. "It's like they have it barricaded or something!"

I eventually give up on the door, then look around to see if I can find any tools that would be of use. When I see nothing but spray bottles and cleaning supplies, I look for another way out. "Look, up there. A vent. I bet I can squeeze through it. Give me a lift."

Robin stands up and helps me onto his shoulders. I tug at the vent cover, but it's nailed in. "I need a screwdriver or something."

Robin puts me down, and we both start to look for something we could use.

"I don't think we're going to find anything," Robin says.

"How can you be so calm?" I ask. "Do you not realize how dangerous this situation is? We got to get out there and stop them!"

"Oh, believe me, I may look calm on the surface, but on the inside, I'm freaking out as much as you are. We won't accomplish anything by getting hysterical though."

I roll my eyes. "You really do sound like a watcher." On a whim, I grab a broom and begin banging on the cover in an effort to knock it down. I stop when it doesn't appear to be having much affect. It's then that I spot the metal hook the broom was hanging on. I pry it out of the wall.

"What are you doing?"

"Give me another lift. I'm going to see if I can get this vent open."

Robin lifts me up again. I attempt several times to get the cover off, but the hook is too fat and won't squeeze through. If I had a flathead screwdriver, this would be easier. Or if Robin still had his axe. I look around on the floor for it.

As if reading my mind, Robin replies, "I don't have the axe anymore."

I throw the hook on the floor. "This isn't working."

Robin puts me down, and now, I'm beyond panicking. I sink down onto the floor. I'm shutting down. This is it. This is how I'm going to die, and I'm going to leave all of my family and friends to deal with the fallout that will be created once the hellmouth opens.

And I didn't even get a chance to say a proper goodbye to my little boy.

Right there, I start to cry.

Robin seems concerned. "Hey, we'll get out of this."

"Quit trying to be optimistic. You and I both know we're pretty much screwed. Damn it, I should have called Giles. Maybe Dawn will. My cell phone!"

I reach into my pocket, but realize in my haste to leave that I forgot it.

"I don't have mine either," Robin replies. "Left it in the car for all the good that does us."

Outside the door, the chanting has become louder. They've been at it for a while, and I hope that maybe their plan will fail. But no, demons hellbent on opening the hellmouth won't give up that easily.

Suddenly, the chanting appears to have stopped. Instead, we hear lots of chaos and a loud crash every few seconds.

Robin gazes at the door. "What the hell is going on out there?"

"It's probably the hellbeast. It's ugly, and has like three heads. At least we're safe in here for the moment."

It continues to be noisy out there for quite a while. When I don't hear howling, I wonder if maybe I was wrong about the hellbeast. All I know is that something is happening outside the door, and it's going to be a mess.

Abruptly, the noises outside stop. Robin and I stare at each other, wondering what happened. At this time, I hear the sounds of something hitting the door. It almost sounds like an axe. Seconds later, a large clinking sound is heard, like the sound of a padlock falling to the ground.

Robin and I brace ourselves for an attack, but when the door opens, I don't see a demon at all. Instead, it's Spike.

I'm almost too shocked to speak. "Spike?"

Spike nods. "You're welcome, Slayer." He tosses the axe on the ground, and Robin and I make our way out of the janitor closet.

I glance around the basement at the carnage. Dead demons are scattered everywhere. There's no sign of the hellbeast, which is a relief. But the large crack in the floor means it was pretty damn close.

"Spike, what are you doing here? I told you to leave town."

Spike grins. "Aren't you glad I stayed after all?"

I have to admit that I am grateful. But I don't like the position this has put me in. I glance behind me at Robin.

"I did leave the crypt though," Spike continues. "Needed new digs anyway. Thought this would be a good place. And as a bonus, I could keep an eye on things. I had a feeling those guys would be back."

"You saved us." Robin steps forward, a look of astonishment on his face.

Spike shrugs. "I don't want to see the hellbeast either." Spike then turns to me. "Well, I guess this is it."

"What?"

He reaches into his pocket and hands me a wooden stake. "You're going to kill me now, right? Or maybe the Princi-PAL would like to do the honors?"

"I'm not going to kill you, Spike," I say. "You saved my life tonight, which means Liam gets to have his mother for another day. He's already lost so much. As far as I'm concerned, you can stay. But…" I glance at Robin. "I don't know how Robin feels about that."

"So what's it going to be?" Spike says, holding the stake out to Robin. "Are you going to avenge your mother's death now?"

Robin waits a beat, then responds. "I don't understand. You saved us."

"Yes, we've established that. You should be bloody grateful. Now, are we doing to do this or what?"

Robin shakes his head. "I don't think violence is the answer. What I really want is for my mother to be alive. And killing you isn't going to change that. And if I'm honest with myself, it's not going to make me feel much better."

"So you're...not going to kill me?" Spike looks confused. "Because you know I can't bloody fight you back. Now's your chance."

"Buffy tried to convince me that you were willing to help our side, but I refused to believe it. But now, seeing what you did for us tonight…"

Robin sits down on a crate. He looks confused. I can relate. He's seeing the world in shades of gray now, just like me.

Robin stands up and walks over to Spike. "We will never be friends. And I will never forgive you for cutting my mother's life short."

"Okay," Spike responds.

"If you truly intend to keep Sunnydale safe, then I won't hurt you. But listen closely. If I ever find out that you've found a way to hurt someone I care about, the deal is off, and I will come after you."

"Fair enough."

"I've had enough of this night. I'm going home."

With that, Robin turns around and leaves the room.

"Wasn't expecting that," Spike says.

"Yeah, me neither." I want to go after Robin, but something tells me he needs to go home and process all this, and it is a lot of process. "Tell me something, Spike. Did you really save us out of the goodness of your heart, or is this all some elaborate plan to keep your enemies closer? What's to say you won't come after me if you ever get that chip out?"

Spike shrugs. "I guess you're like family to me. But don't go saying I have a heart. I have a reputation to keep."

Spike walks over to the corner of the room where I see his old TV is set up. "Reception is terrible here," he comments.

"You're just going to sit there and watch television while all of these dead bodies are everywhere?"

"I'll get them later. It's time for my show. Why don't you go home to your little boy? Isn't Santa coming or something?"

"Yeah, I think I will. Thanks for the save tonight."

Spike doesn't reply. He's too busy trying to get a picture on his television. So I leave and go home.

* * *

A/N: So there it is. I've officially addressed the Spike/Robin issue! If I had more time, I would have made this chapter better, but I just don't have a lot of time and I really want to finish this story soon! I actually wrote the majority of this chapter on my phone while on my breaks at work because it was the only time I could squeeze in some writing time.

Since I'm ready to finish this story and I'm sure everyone is eager to get to the end too, I will try from here on out to make daily updates. Most of the story is finished now. If for some reason I miss an update, it's either because I'm too busy/sick/tired to get on the computer or maybe the next chapter just needs a little more work.

Until 46!


	46. The Wedding

**CHAPTER 46 - THE WEDDING**

 ** _January, 2004_**

Liam fidgets as I tie his bowtie.

"Hold still, Liam, I'm almost done." I finish tying the bow and straighten it, then move back to admire my work. "There, all done. Oh, look at you. You look so handsome in your tuxedo!"

"Or as I like to call it, monkey suit," Xander jokes.

"You pretty too, Mommy."

I personally think I couldn't look any more hideous dressed from head to toe in this gaudy shade of green, but I take the compliment anyway. "Thanks, baby. Now, do you remember what you're supposed to do?"

Liam nods. "Uh-huh. Walk down the aisle and don't fall!"

"Right, just like we practiced last night."

"Mommy, I gotta go potty."

" _Now?_ You have to go _now_?"

Liam nods and begins to do the pee-pee dance.

Dawn pokes her head into the doorway. "Hey, is the groom almost ready? It's show time in ten minutes."

"Not quite," Xander says, holding out his bowtie to me. "I need help with mine too."

"Dawn, can you take Liam to the bathroom please? He's got to go potty now."

"Sure," Dawn says, offering her hand. "Come on, Liam."

"Liam, don't you dare spill anything on that tuxedo!" I call after them. I turn back to Xander and shake my head. "I _knew_ I should have made him go to bathroom before he got dressed." I take the tie and start to help Xander put it on. "So, are you ready?"

"I think Liam has the easy job. I'm the one who actually has to recite vows."

I give him a reassuring smile. "You'll do fine." I finish tying the bowtie and stand back to look at my work. "There you go. Perfect. You know, I have to say, out of all of us, I didn't think you would be the first one to get married. My bet was on Will and Oz. I guess I was wrong."

"Do you think I'm making a mistake?"

"What do you mean?"

"Getting married. I mean, what the hell am I doing? I'm twenty-three years old. Who gets married that young?"

"Well, if you want to get technical about it, Anya's way older than you. By a couple of centuries at least."

"What if after we get married, we turn into one of those married couples that can't stand to be around each other?"

"Xander, do you love Anya?"

"Of course I love her."

"And I know for a fact that she's crazy about you. You know, she spent centuries punishing men and you're the first one she actually decided to marry. That's got to count for something."

"I don't know what she sees in me."

"She sees you're a good guy. Xander, you're really lucky. I hope you know that. To be able to spend your life with someone you love? I'd give almost anything to have what you and Anya have right now."

"I'm talking crazy, aren't I?"

"That's just your fear talking. It's perfectly normal to have some anxiety when you're faced with a change in your life. I know I have. Being a slayer, being a mother. But you'll be fine. And soon enough, you won't be able to picture _not_ being married to her."

"Thanks, Buff. I knew that, but I guess I just needed to hear someone say it."

"You're welcome. So, no more cold feet?"

"No, no cold feet."

"Good. Hey, where's Oz? He's your best man. Shouldn't he be the one giving you this pep talk?"

"He ran to my apartment to get something I forgot."

"What did you forget?"

Xander smiles at me sheepishly. "Only the most important thing of all. The rings."

* * *

Xander and Anya actually did it. They got married.

I'm still sort of surprised that Xander was the first one of us to tie the knot, though he confessed it was because of my mother's death that he proposed to Anya in the first place. Life, he said, was too short, and he'd rather not waste any more time. He wasn't about to let Anya go, especially since it had been the longest relationship he'd ever had.

At the reception later, a fast-paced song plays on the speakers, and Xander dances wildly across the floor in front of me. I can't help but laugh at him and his goofy antics. Anya soon joins in, dancing just as wildly next to her new husband. I think they're perfect for each other.

Tara walks over to my table and pulls out the chair beside me. "I don't want to hurt Anya's feelings, but this dress is probably the most hideous thing I've ever worn."

I laugh because I couldn't agree with her more. "I don't think I've ever seen a bridesmaid's gown that wasn't hideous to be honest."

"The sad thing is that this dress would probably be halfway decent if it weren't so shiny and green. I mean, really, why _green_?"

"Because green reminds Anya of money."

"Oh. Well that makes sense. Anya does love money."

"That's also the reason why she's having her wedding in late January."

Tara stares at me with a confused expression. "How is that?"

"Because the wedding vendors charge less this time of year."

Tara laughs. "Now I understand. I thought a January wedding was sort of odd."

"Mommy!" Liam runs over to me with Dawn right behind him. He looks excited. "Can I have some more cake?"

"I told him he'd better ask you because I didn't want to face your wrath," Dawn says. "And there is still plenty left."

I look into Liam's pleading brown eyes and smile. "Okay, you can have more cake. You're already on a sugar high. One more piece of cake won't make much of a difference."

"Yay!" Liam cheers as he runs over to the cake table with Dawn trailing behind.

I turn to Tara and smile. "I'm so going to pay for this later. He'll be bouncing off the walls."

Tara laughs.

A slow song starts up, and everyone on the floor suddenly pairs off into couples, with Xander and Anya in the middle. I watch them for a moment, feeling a pang of sadness.

"Are you okay?"

I look at Tara and give her a half-hearted smile. "Not really. I mean, I'm happy for Xander and Anya." I glance at them on the floor again. Anya rests her head on Xander's shoulder. "Weddings just make me sad though."

"Because of Angel?"

I give her a nod. "You know, I used to fantasize about Angel and I getting married. I'd spend the day getting my hair and nails done, and then I'd put on this beautiful Vera Wang gown that I saw in a magazine once. Maybe we'd get married in that big Catholic church downtown, because Angel was Catholic in his former life. Plus it's a beautiful church. And then we would go somewhere tropical for our honeymoon. Some place warm where the sun always shines, and we would just lay in the sand and watch the waves and the sun move across the sky. But I guess that's all just wishful thinking, right? I mean, it's not like I could afford a Vera Wang gown anyway."

Tara places her hand over mine, giving me a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I wish I could have brought Angel back for you. I feel bad that I couldn't."

"It's okay, Tara. You tried."

"Buffy?"

I look up, seeing Riley standing at my table. "Hey, Riley."

"Hey. I was, uh, just wondering. Do you want to dance?"

I give Tara a worried glance, but she just smiles at on. "Go on," she urges.

I look back up at Riley, shaking my head. "I'm sorry, Riley. I just…I'm just not feeling up to dancing right now." I glance away from Riley, fiddling with some of the reception decorations on the table.

"Oh. Well, that's okay. I understand."

I glance back at him. "Thank you."

"Tara, what about you? Would you like to dance?"

Tara shrugs her shoulders. "Okay, sure."

Tara stands up and Riley leads her to the dance floor. And once again, I'm alone.

* * *

A short while later, the music comes to an end, and Anya steps onstage. She takes the mike, and someone taps a glass with their spoon to get everyone's attention.

"Alright, all you single ladies!" Anya waves her bouquet around. "In two minutes, I'm going to throw this thing, and you all know what that means!"

I start to get up, planning to slip away and to be inconspicuous about it, but before I can move, Willow grabs my hand. "Come on, Buffy!" she urges, trying to pull me to my feet. "We're single ladies!"

I shake my head. "No, I don't want to participate."

"But, Buffy! You have to! It's a wedding tradition! Come on!"

"No, please, I really don't want to. Besides, it's not like I'm planning on getting married anytime soon. You go ahead though. If anyone's going to be getting married soon, it's you."

A smile spreads across Willow's face. "You really think so?"

I nod. "I really think so. Oz would be crazy not to propose to you in the very near future."

Willow squeals in delight, giddy with just the thought of it. "I really hope you're right! Are you sure you don't want to participate?"

"I'm sure. I'll just watch, okay? I've got my fingers crossed for you." I hold up both hands, fingers crossed on each.

Willow squeals again. "Thanks! I'll take all the luck I can get!"

I smile at Willow's excitement as I watch her make her way to the dance floor. She joins my sister, Tara, and a few of Anya's friends who I've never met before standing by the stage.

"Alright, ladies!" Anya says, waving her bouquet around again. "Are you all ready?"

Several of the women hold up their arms, ready to catch it. Willow practically jumps up and down.

A drumroll sounds as Anya turns around, waving the bouquet in the air. She teases everyone for a moment, keeping the crowd in suspense as to when she's going to throw it. Finally, Anya tosses it backwards. The bouquet glides through the air, sailing past all the women ready to catch it, and lands with a thud on my table.

 _Oh my god._

The crowd goes silent for a moment, and I feel my face grow hot as everyone's eyes stare at me. Liam, thank god for him, finally breaks the silence as he runs over to me, icing smeared on his cheek, and jumps in my lap with his arms wrapping around my neck.

"Mommy! You got it!"

I glance around nervously, wondering if anyone's still staring at me, and reach to touch the bouquet. "Yeah, apparently so."

Willow bounces over to my table, and I'm surprised to see that she doesn't look disappointed at all. "Wow, Buffy! Looks like you participated after all!"

"I shouldn't be the one to have this," I say, shaking my head and pushing the bouquet towards Willow. "You should have it."

But Willow shakes her head in refusal. "No, looks like you were meant to have it. I guess you'll be the next to get married!"

I smile nervously at Willow. I kind of doubt that.

* * *

Outside the reception hall is a small foyer. I sit on the couch with the bouquet and rub my fingers over the soft flower petals. After all of the excitement, I need a breather.

"There you are. I was looking for you."

I look up to see Riley standing in the doorway.

"Riley, hey." I put the flowers down and walk over to him. "Listen, I'm sorry I didn't dance with you earlier. That was probably rude of me. It's just…things like this are hard for me. I love seeing my friends happy and in love, but it makes me sad sometimes. I hate to admit it, but I'm jealous."

"Buffy, you don't have to apologize or explain anything to me. I understand. If anything, maybe I should apologize."

"For what?"

"For making things awkward between us. Ever since I told you how I feel about you, things have been different."

"Yeah, I know. Riley, can we maybe sit down for a moment? I have to tell you something."

I sit back down on the couch and Riley sits down next to me. He doesn't want to make eye contact, as if he's nervous, so I place my hand on his arm. "Riley, I think you're a great guy."

"Just not great enough to go out with, huh?" He cracks a smile, as if he's joking, but I can see in his eyes that my rejection still hurts him.

"No, I wouldn't say that. You want to know the truth?"

Riley looks at me, waiting for my answer.

"I did have a little crush on you when we first met."

This brings a smile to his face. "You did?"

I nod. "Yes."

"How come you never said anything?"

I shrug. "I don't know. Maybe the same reason you never said anything to me. But I guess it's kind of irrelevant now. And this is probably the part you don't want to hear, but if I hadn't gotten back together with Angel, I think there could have been something between us."

"You're right. I didn't want to hear that."

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. But I can't be with you. I'm in love with someone else, and as long as I believe that Angel will return to me, I can't open my heart to anyone else. It just wouldn't be fair to you. I don't want you to feel like you're second best. You deserve to be first. I'm just not that girl."

"Thank you for telling me that. And for what it's worth, I hope Angel does come home to you. If nothing else, I just want you to be happy again."

"I will someday. And you'll be too. Riley, there is this amazing girl somewhere out there, and when you find her, she's going to make you the happiest man alive. Just you wait. I know it. She's out there."

Riley cracks another small smile. "Well, maybe I'll find her in South America."

"South America?" I laugh. "I don't think you'll have to go that far."

"No. I mean that I'm going to South America."

"Oh. That's sort of…sudden. When are you going?"

"I leave in the morning."

"Oh. Well that's really sudden."

"I wasn't even going to come to the wedding. I'm not even done packing. But I changed my mind. I knew you'd be here. And it'd be rude not to say goodbye to everyone."

"Something tells me this trip to South America isn't exactly for pleasure."

"No. I took an assignment. I just needed, I don't know, a change of scenery. I'm sort of stuck in a rut. I need to do something new."

"Can you tell me what kind of assignment?"

Riley shook his head. "Sorry, but that information is classified. You know how the military is."

"Right. I understand. Well how long will this assignment last?"

"I don't know."

"Will you come back to Sunnydale?"

"I don't know that either. Honestly, I don't know where life's going to take me next."

"Will you at least have email when you're out in the middle of the Amazon rainforest?"

Riley laughs. "Probably not, but I'll keep in touch when I can. Just don't be too alarmed if there are long stretches between replies."

"Okay."

Riley glances at his watch and stands up. "Well, I should probably go. These wedding receptions usually last forever, and I got to get home to packing."

"So I guess this is goodbye?"

"Yeah, I guess so." He looks out at the reception hall and smiles. I follow his gaze and spot Liam on the dance floor with Xander. "Do me a favor? Send me pictures of the little guy."

I laugh. "I promise."

"Goodbye, Buffy. I'm glad we had a chance to talk."

"Bye, Riley." I inch closer and pull him into a hug. "Good luck in South America."

We pull away, and he smiles at me. "Thanks."

"So…Peru? Brazil? Chile?"

"I can't say."

I shrug. "Worth a shot."

"Well, take care."

I nod, then watch as Riley turns to walk away. "Riley, wait."

He turns around and stares at me expectantly.

"Can our goodbye wait maybe five more minutes? I was just wondering if you wanted that dance now?"

Riley smiles. "I'd love that."

* * *

After seeing off the bride and groom, a few of us stayed behind to help clean up.

Liam, tuckered out from all of the excitement, is asleep on the cushioned bench against the wall. Clem sits next to him, keeping an eye on him.

"Thanks for watching him, Clem," I say as I head over there, ready to call it a night.

"Oh, it was no trouble at all. He's been sleeping the whole time. He's a very well-behaved little tyke."

I laugh softly. "When he wants to be." I pick Liam up, trying not to wake him but his little eyes crack open anyway.

"Mommy?" he asks with a sleepy, confused look on his face.

"It's time to go sweetie."

Liam throws his arms around my neck and puts his head on my shoulder, too tired to argue as he falls back asleep.

"Well, I better go," I say to Clem. "My sister is waiting for me in the car. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I turn to walk away, but Clem suddenly calls me back.

"You forgot something."

I turn around, seeing Clem holding up the bouquet of flowers. "That's okay. I don't want them. Besides, it's not like I'm getting married anytime soon anyway. Not unless Angel comes home."

Clem walks over to me, still holding out the flowers. "Oh, come on, take them anyway! You were meant to have them. They did land right in front of you. And anyway, no one can predict the future, not unless they're psychic of course. Life can change in an instant. You never know what might happen in a few weeks or months from now. Maybe your Angel will be home sooner than you think."

I hesitate, but Clem keeps pushing the flowers toward me. "Take the flowers. For good luck, at least."

I smile, then finally accept the flowers. "Okay, for good luck. I'll take all the good luck I can get."

"There you go, that's the spirit!"

"I really better get going. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Buffy."

As I walk away, with Liam sound asleep again in my arms, I can't help but hope that maybe, just maybe, that it was destiny the flowers landed right at my table. If I am truly going to be the next bride, could it mean that Angel will be home soon?


	47. The Flu Setback

**CHAPTER 47 – THE FLU SETBACK  
**

 _February, 2004_

Walker stifles a yawn as he and I keep watch for the night. It's sometime after two in the morning, and pitch black. And cold. But at least a million stars are in the sky, and it's a beautiful sight. I point out the stars I recognize.

"I wish I knew the constellations," Walker says wistfully. "Guess I never had time to learn."

"I know most of them, but the night sky looks different here. Like the stars are in different places." Which reminds me once again of how very far away from home I am.

Walker yawns again, this time loudly.

"Why don't you go to bed? I can handle things until Roman and Hornsby take over."

"No, I'll be fine," Walker insists. "Just keep talking. If I see action, trust me, I'll wake up fast."

In the distance, a spot of light catches my eye. I reach for my binoculars at the same time Walker does. He must have seen it too.

I hold up the binoculars and look through the lens, seeing someone on horseback headed our way. The light comes from a torch. "I think you're about to wake up."

My first thought, as always, was that our visitor was an Invader. But as he drew closer, I could tell he was Astorian.

"He looks familiar," Walker says.

"It's Kwan."

Kwan's horse picks up speed and within a few moments, he is dismounting.

"Kwan," I greet him as I extend my hand. He shakes it, then gives a slight nod.

"Hello, Angel. Walker."

"I'm a little surprised to see you here," I say to him. "What brings you by?"

"I come with an urgent message for you from the Ancient One."

Walkers eyes widen. "Must be pretty important."

Kwan nods at him, then turns his attention back to me. "The Ancient One had a vision. He knows where the Invaders are keeping the Crystal."

 _The Crystal,_ every Astorians' source of magic , and my ticket _home_.

"Where?" I ask him.

"Somewhere in the caverns."

"The caverns?"

"It's north of here," Walker says. "Close to the forest."

"How big are these caverns?" I ask either of the men.

"They're quite expansive," Kwan answers. "The Ancient One could not pinpoint an exact location of the Crystal, but he said you would be able to find it with that information."

"Well then I say lets gather up some men and go look for it!" Walker says, the enthusiasm obvious in his voice.

"The Crystal is heavily guarded," Kwan says, and I see Walker's smile fade.

"How many guards?"

"More than a few."

"Did the Ancient One say anything else?" Walker asked.

"Yes. Be careful. I must go now."

I nod. "Thank you, Kwan. Stay safe out there."

Kwan nods, mounts his horse again, and is gone as quickly as he came.

"Now what, Angel?"

I turn to Walker and smile. "Now, we get that Crystal back into your hands."

* * *

The next evening, I have called for a meeting. Earlier in the day, myself and several other men drew up plans for our attack of the Invaders and the retrieval of the Crystal. It's not going to be an easy job, but if we all work together, I have every confidence it can be accomplished.

Now, the men and I are assembled in the common area. The room is packed, and those that do not have a seat are forced to sit on the floor or stand. Looking at every one of their faces, I can see the anxiety in their expressions. I have been training most of these men for years now. The time has come for us to strike back against the Invaders. I think they're ready, but I'm not sure all of them have that same confidence.

"Alright, listen up," I shout to be overheard over the din of several conversations going on at once. A hush falls over the group, and everyone's eyes are on me, waiting for instruction on what to do.

"We need a large group as the cavern is large and there are many Invaders. We also need men who are willing to fight. I know not all of you are. And if you'd rather stay home and defend the tunnels, that's fine too. But understand this war is not going to be over until we fight back. So, who wants to go fight?"

About twenty of the men raise their hand in a crowd of about fifty.

"Okay, we're going to have to do better than that. Roman, where are my notes?"

Roman hands me a clipboard full of papers. Since I've started training, I've been keeping notes on where each of men's strengths lie. Some are skilled at using a knife. Others have become quite proficient at using a sword. A few are pretty good shots with a crossbow. And others, like myself, prefer an axe. We'll need all of these weapons, and I like the men to use the weapon they feel most comfortable using.

After a quick consult of my notes, I come across my weapons tally sheet. "Okay, first things first. Element of surprise. That's what we need. And in my experience, usually that involves a weapon shot from a distance. Namely a crossbow. Walker, everyone knows you're our best shot. I hope that means you'll come join us."

"I don't know, I was kind of thinking of sitting this one out," he says in a sarcastic tone, then holds his hands up. "Kidding! Of course I'll come."

I smile at home. "Good. Was hoping you'd say that. Now where's…" I look at my notes. "Daulton? You're a good shot too. I want you to come with us."

I'm greeted with silence as several men look around the room. Then one of the men sitting in the back raises his hand. "He's not here. He didn't feel good."

"Well let's hope he feels better in the morning. Now, where's Sullivan?"

"He didn't feel good either," says another one of the men.

"Is anyone else sick?"

It's quiet for a moment, then someone replies. "Well I feel a little warm at the moment, but it could just be all the bodies in the room."

"Okay look, I know you're all nervous and feeling a lot of anxiety, and that's understandable. But I have confidence in every one of you."

A man in the front raises his hand. "But, Angel, we're just not as brave as you."

"Listen, being brave isn't the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear and finding a way through it. I've been afraid in battle sometimes, I won't lie. But you have to look at the big picture. What are you fighting for? Are you fighting for the safety of someone you love? Are you fighting so that others can have a better life? These demons have taken over your world and have taken away your freedom. They've killed, worked you as slaves, and have made you live in fear. Are you going to continue letting them control your lives, or are you going to stand up and do something about it?"

The man, who claims not to be brave, stands up and smiles. "I would be honored to come fight the Invaders with you."

The man beside him stands up. "I would too."

Several more of the men in the room stand up. "So would I," several of them say in unison.

I smile back at them. "Alright, that's more like it. Now, let's go over the plan."

* * *

A pounding on the door wakes me up before dawn. When I sit up, I realize it's not my door, but Roman and Althea's.

"Althea!" a woman shouts.

The voice sounds like Alicia, and when I open the door and peer out into the hallway, I see her standing outside. Althea comes to the door moments after I do and stares at her in alarm.

"Alicia? Whatever is the matter?"

"It's Walker and the girls! Something's wrong!"

Alicia, who is hysterical at this point, jumps when I gently touch her shoulder. "Alicia, tell us what happened so we can help."

"I-I don't know," she says, her voice lowered this time. "They all have a fever. I've never seen Walker like this. And the girls! They can't be consoled!"

"Let me gather some supplies and I'll be right there," Althea says, and hurries back into her room to get what she needs.

Alicia turns to look at me. "I'm sorry, Angel, but Walker won't be able to help you today."

* * *

"Walker's better with a crossbow than anyone else," Roman tells me as he and I discuss the change in plans without Walker. "Do you really think we can proceed with the plan without him?"

"Roman, we don't have a choice. Look, there's plenty of other men that are decent shots with a crossbow, including myself. We're just going to have to go on without him."

"We're not going to have Carter or Neville either," Brutus announces as he walks into the room.

"They're sick _too_?" I ask, stunned.

Brutus nods.

"We have a lot of people sick," Althea says as she walks over to us, having overheard our conversation.

"What is it?" Roman asks his wife. "It's not a poisoning again, is it?"

"No, it's a flu virus, and it's rapidly spreading. I'm afraid you'll have to postpone your attack plans. I need help."

"What do you need?" I ask.

"For starters, I need a few men to go out into the forest and collect some herbs. I'm running low on supplies. Too many people are sick."

"How many people are we talking about?" Roman asks.

Althea shrugs. "Eight? Nine? There will be more I'm sure with everyone living in such close quarters."

I glance at Roman. "I guess those men were really sick last night. And here I thought it was just nerves."

* * *

By the next morning, the tables and chairs in the common area are removed, and in its place, cots are moved in. It's easier for Althea and the others to care for the sick if they're all in one central location.

Althea, looking weary, walks away from one patient with a basin of water.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I ask her.

She nods. "This water is room temperature. Could you fill this up with cold water? And if we have any, ice would be good too."

I take the bin from her. "You got it."

"Thank you."

When I return with a basin full of ice water, Althea takes it from me and sits down with another patient. She takes a clean washcloth, dips it into the cold water, and places it over the man's forehead.

Alicia walks over to Althea and places her hand over hers. "Let me, Althea. You've been running yourself ragged trying to take care of everyone. Rest for a while. Delia and I can handle things while you take a break."

I can see Althea is reluctant to leave, but she agrees, and we step out of the room.

"Are you okay?" I ask her.

She gives me a weak smile. "I'm fine. Physically anyway. Thank you for asking."

"How bad is it?"

"Five new patients, and that was just this morning."

"Do you need more herbs?"

"I'm fine for now. You and Roman brought back plenty. Though at this rate, I may need more by the end of the week."

"Are they getting any better?"

Althea shakes her head. "The herbs help bring down their fever, but unfortunately, the illness just has to run its course. It could be at least two weeks before this is all over."

Down the hallway, I spot a familiar pink head walking toward us. I nod toward her and Althea looks behind her shoulder.

"Andromeda! I told you to stay away from this area! Sick people are here! Go back to your room this instant!"

Andromeda ignores her mother's request and keeps walking to us. She's pale, and a bad feeling settles over me.

"Mother, I don't feel good."

Althea, anger forgotten, places her hand over her daughter's forehead. "Oh no. You're burning up. Are you feeling any other symptoms?"

"I hurt all over," she says weakly.

"Okay, we need to get you into a bed. And you need to stay away from your brother and sister."

"I think Myles might be sick too. He hasn't gotten out of bed yet."

"Oh dear. Okay, stay here for a just a moment." Althea slips back into the common room.

In the hallway, Andromeda stares up at me. "Angel?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think I can stand much longer."

I steady Andromeda on her feet just in the nick of time, then lead her to a chair to sit down. She then leans on my arm, her eyelids half-closed, as I wrap an arm around her.

Shortly after, Althea comes back with Alicia behind her.

"Andromeda, Alicia's going to get you into a bed while I go check on your brother and sister. I'll be back. Will you be alright?"

Andromeda nods weakly. "Yes, Mother."

The girl slowly moves to her feet, and I pass her off to Alicia who leads her into the sick room.

Althea begins to head down the hall and I catch up with her. "I'll go with you."

When we arrive, the room is quiet, save for the sounds of Serena quietly playing with her toys in the corner of the room. On the opposite wall, Myles is still in bed. He's sleeping, but it looks like a restless sleep.

Althea sits on his bed and gently wakes up her son. He makes a little groan, and Althea places her hand on his forehead. When she does, she gives me a grim look. Myles is sick too.

Serena, who has stopped her play, watches us silently.

"Serena, are you feeling sick?" I ask the girl as I kneel down beside her.

The girl shakes her head no, and I feel her forehead. "She's fine. No fever."

Althea breathes a sigh of relief. "Thank god. I'll take her to stay with Ms. Appleby. I need to get Myles to the sick room."

"I'll take him."

"Thank you. I'll get Serena settled and meet you back there."

Myles moans when I lift his small form off the bed. He opens his eyes briefly, then closes them again, too weak to stay awake.

* * *

I keep Myles and Andromeda company while I wait for their mother to return. Myles still sleeps. Andromeda is awake, and she stares at me with fear in her eyes.

"Angel? Am I going to die?"

"What? No, of course not. It's just the flu. You'll be fine."

"But people can die from the flu, right?"

"It happens sometimes, yes, but you're young and healthy. You'll be just fine."

Andromeda doesn't seem convinced and turns on her side. "Where's Mother?"

"Here, I'm right here." Althea sits down next to us and reaches for a cold washcloth. She dabs Andromeda's forehead with it.

"I feel so bad, Mother," Andromeda says.

"I know. Your body is fighting off the infection. The best thing for you to do is to get some sleep. I'll get you some sleeping syrup."

Andromeda nods, then shifts again on her cot as if trying to find a comfortable position in her state of misery.

Althea glances at me as she prepares the syrup. "Thank you for sitting with the children, Angel."

"Is Serena okay?"

"She's fine. A little scared perhaps. She doesn't understand what's going on."

"Is there anything else I can do?"

"You've done plenty. You should leave this area. I don't want you to get sick too."

"But what about you?"

"I deal with sick people all the time. I've gotten really good at avoiding illness. Wash your hands immediately."

"Let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you, Angel."

* * *

Later that afternoon, I meet with Roman, Hornsby, and Graham. Brutus would have joined us, but he too is now sick.

"So what's the plan now, Angel?" Roman asks.

"I guess we have no other choice. We're going to have to postpone our attack. With limited man-power, it'll be next to impossible to retrieve the Crystal."

"I agree," Roman says, and Hornsby and Graham nod in approval.

"It'll give us more time to plan though," I tell the men. In our excitement, I feel I may have rushed the men to attack. But this does call for a well laid-out plan. I have to look for the silver lining somewhere.

* * *

The next morning, I wake up with a throbbing headache. I realize seconds later that my whole body is aching. I attempt to get up, but I'm too weak to move. Looks like I'm sick now. And I'm too tired to do anything but sleep.

When I wake up, I hear knocking on my door and Roman's voice on the other side. I'm not sure how long I've slept, but it must have been a while for Roman to come looking for me. I'm too weak to answer him, but fortunately, Roman invites himself in.

"You're sick," he says the moment he takes a look at me.

I look at him and nod weakly. Too tired to talk.

"I suspected something was not right when I didn't see you this morning. Can you get up?"

"Too…weak," I manage to get out.

I doze off to sleep again, but I'm awoken moments later by Roman and Hornsby helping me get out of bed. Somehow, I find the strength to walk the length of the hallway to the common area. They lead me to an available cot, and Althea rushes over to see what's the matter.

Looks like I'm her newest patient.

* * *

I'm afraid I could die, and that terrifies me. Now I understand Andromeda's fear. This illness takes so much out of you. How could you not fear death in this state? But what I fear most, I think, isn't really death. It's not being able to see Buffy one last time before I go.

"You're not going to die."

It's the most beautiful voice in the world. I can't believe my eyes, but Buffy is sitting next to me on the bed. I reach for her hand.

"Buffy. You're…you're here. How did you get here?"

"Angel, you need to rest." Buffy wets a washcloth in a nearby basin and places it on my forehead.

"I can't rest. You're here. I'm so glad you're here. But I can't go home now. I have to help Astoria. But now that you're here, you can help me. I'm so glad you're here."

"He's feverish," Buffy says. But then, Buffy's face transforms to Althea's.

"Althea?"

"Yes, Angel."

"Buffy?"

Althea shakes her head no. She wasn't here. It was all in my imagination.

"Sleep, Angel," Althea says. "You're very sick. You need to conserve your strength."

I close my eyes again and drift back under.

* * *

The next week and half pass by in a blur. When I'm awake, all I want to do is sleep. And after so many hours of sleep, all I want to do is to wake up and feel better. Sometimes I dream of Buffy, then wake up confused and disoriented. I know it's wishful thinking to hope she could be here with me. The doors to Astoria are all closed, and no one can get in or out.

I feel a presence near me and open my eyes. Andromeda sits on the edge of my cot, apparently watching me sleep.

"Hey."

"Hi, Angel. I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"

"It's okay. I'm tired of sleeping anyway." I stare at the girl, noticing her cheeks have color again. "You look like you're feeling much better."

"I am. How are you feeling?"

"I'm on the mend. Just tired."

Andromeda nods. "It's awful, isn't it? I don't think I've ever felt that sick before in my life."

"Me neither. What day is it?"

"Friday."

I'm surprised that so much time has passed and I haven't left this room. I glance around and see a few other cots occupied but several unoccupied as well. People must be getting better, which is a good thing.

"Well, I'll let you get back to sleep. Unless there's anything I can get for you," Andromeda says.

"Thank you, but I'm fine. I'll probably just…sleep some more."

And maybe dream of Buffy. At least that's the one benefit of sleeping so much. I often dream of her. It's the only way I get to see her.


	48. The Search

**CHAPTER 48 - THE SEARCH**

 _March, 2004_

The flu set us back a month. It took a while for everyone to fully recover and gather back their strength, myself included.

I learned that while I was sick, Roman, Hornsby, and a few others organized groups to continue with their training. And now that everyone is feeling better again, it's time to continue our plan to find and retrieve the Crystal.

It won't be easy, however. And not just the fighting. Brutus says we'll need some horses and a wagon to bring the Crystal back, an obvious fact that we had all overlooked before. Brutus, Carter, and Hornsby leave to go borrow the horse from the Sea District. We only have the one again.

They return sometime in the middle of the night with the extra horse and a wagon someone had filched from the Garden District a while back before things got too bad there.

"Good job, everyone," I tell the men as they secure the horses. We'll let them rest, then set out first thing tomorrow.

* * *

"Good morning," Buffy whispers as she begins to nuzzle my neck.

I open my eyes, seeing the most beautiful sight in the world. But I know it's a dream. We're in a bed, and I sleep on a cot these days. But still, I hope to stay asleep long enough so that I can be with her just a little bit longer.

"Big day, huh?" she asks.

"We're going to find the Crystal, and then the Astorians will have their magic back. They'll be able to send the Invaders away. And then…"

"Then you'll come home."

I nod. "Then I'll come home." I lean forward, covering her mouth with mine. Then wake up.

 _Damn._ Why are the good dreams always so brief?

It's morning, though it's hard to tell from my bunker. Being underground, you never can tell if it's night or day. But my watch says it's morning, and it's time to get to ready.

About an hour later, the men who are coming with me assemble out front by the tunnel entrances. All in all, we have about twenty to twenty-five men in our group. If the Ancient One said the caverns were heavily guarded, we'll need a lot of manpower.

I let Roman lead the way, as he is more familiar with where the caverns are located. In order to get to the caverns, we actually must trek through the forest first. By setting out early in the morning, we limit our exposure to dragons, wolves, and the likes. Though we still bring our weapons. And if the caverns are as heavily guarded as the Ancient One indicated, we'll need them.

The terrain is uneven. It's rocky in some parts and smooth in others. We take frequent rest breaks, if not for us, than at least for the horses. We'll need them on our way back for sure.

After what seems like an endless journey, Roman slows down. Up ahead are some small, flimsy-looking trees. Roman puts a finger up, indicating everyone be quiet, and then motions for me to come take a look. I watch as Roman walks over to the trees and peers down below. I do the same, seeing that just beyond the trees is a small drop-off. It wouldn't be a huge fall, but still high enough to do some damage. Roman taps me on the shoulder and points to the left. There, I spot what looks like a cave entrance. And standing just outside the entrance, three Invader guards.

The best way to take these guys out, I know, is with a crossbow. I look behind me and point to Walker, who nods in understanding. I seek out Daulton and point to him too.

I take out my own crossbow and silently hope this is going to go well. If we can all take out the guards silently and simultaneously, we'll be able to get in without arousing too much attention.

I indicate with hand motions which guard I want Walker and Daulton to take out. I set my eyes on the one to the right.

"Do you see any others?" I whisper to Roman, who has kept his eyes on the three guards.

"Just those three," he whispers back.

"Ready?" I ask Walker.

He nods.

I turn to Daulton. "Ready?"

He looks nervous, but nods as well.

"Okay, on the count of three, we fire. Got it?"

They nod again, and I set my sights on the guard I plan to take out. "One…two…three."

I launch my arrow toward the guard. Seconds later, the arrow lodges into the side of his head and he drops to the ground. I quickly look to the other guards, also seeing them on the ground.

"Good job," I tell the men.

"I've never killed an Invader before," Daulton says, a smile on his face.

"Feels good, doesn't it?"

"Let's hurry," Roman says. "These guards are gone, but more may come."

"Okay, we'll need a few men to stay guard and watch the horses. Any volunteers?"

Several of the less experienced men raise their hands.

"Keep in mind you'll need to be prepared to kill an Invader either way."

Some of the hands drop down.

"Alright, how about you three?" I point to three of them.

"What do we do if one of the Invaders sees us?" one of the men asks, though his name I unfortunately can't remember.

"What's your weapon of choice?" I ask him.

The man pulls out a sword.

"Then you use that sword to kill him, just like I trained you."

The man visibly swallows, though he nods in understanding.

"Okay, let's go," I tell Roman. "And how do we get down there?" I hope there's an easier way.

"There's a path that leads downhill about a half mile that way." Roman points to the left and begins to head in that direction. We follow him.

When we arrive at the cavern entrance, the guards we killed are still lying there. Though to make sure, I inspect each one of them. The last thing we need is a half-alive guard tipping off someone else the direction we went. To my relief, they're all dead. I smile when I see Walker's arrow lodged between one of the guard's eyes. Perfect shot.

The inside of the cavern reminds me of the tunnels, though the ground beneath our feet is sloping downward. We walk this way for a while, and just when I'm beginning to wonder if this is really a cavern, the tunnel gives away to a huge open space underground. Stalactites hang from the roof of the cavern. Jagged rocks seem to jut out everywhere along the walls and the ground. On the walls, many torches illuminate the space. And in the middle of it all, about twenty Invaders.

I motion for everyone to stay back as Roman and I observe what's going on. Fortunately a well-placed rock hides us. At first, it's unclear what's going on, but they're obviously working on something.

"Females," Roman whispers, pointing to a group of Invaders sitting on a rock.

And that's when I notice it. They're not just sitting there. They're _laying_ _eggs_.

 _Eggs. Fertilization._ Now what Hans said makes sense.

"I guess we now know why this place is heavily guarded," I whisper.

* * *

"They're procreating," I whisper to men. I've known quite a few demons that reproduced this way, though it surprises me this species of demon does since it appears they have intercourse in the same manner as humans. Or maybe it doesn't surprise me. Their population needs to be large in order for them to survive and keep on the way they have. Well, no matter. I know what we need to do now. And now that we've found the eggs, we're going to start to stop this progress.

I suggest we go in with guns blazing. An ambush is probably are best method considering there are so many of them here and therefore, hard to pluck off just one at a time without someone getting suspicious.

I see some of the men shift on their feet. They're nervous. I expected this. For some of them, this is their first time in battle.

"Look, we're almost there. We're here to get your Crystal back. Don't give up on me now. We're doing this for Astoria."

"For Astoria!" the men echo back in a whisper.

"Alright, let's do it."

I start running with my axe held high. I'm itching for a fight. I slam the blade into the first Invader I see and knock her to my feet, then move on to the next. Every time I take down an enemy, I see myself getting closer and closer to Buffy. That thought propels me on as I take down another one.

I glance around, seeing a few men struggle, and assist when I can. We have the advantage though. The Invaders were unprepared for our presence, and the surprise attack is working.

Beside me, Roman neatly beheads an Invader, then pauses for a moment to wipe a bead of sweat off his face.

"Nice, Roman."

He smiles, then moves on to the next.

Brutus grabs an Invader and pushes him against the wall of the cavern. He slams his head a few times against the rock, and the Invader falls to the ground.

"I think he's dead," he says to me.

I slam my axe down on his banged head, leaving a bloody, gory mess in its wake. "Just to make sure," I tell him, smiling.

"Angel! Duck!" Walker yells.

I don't know why I'm ducking, but anytime someone tells you to duck, you do it. Seconds later, an arrow whizzes over my head and hits its target: a female Invader who was attempting to slither away with a cache of eggs.

I move on to another Invader, who is currently putting up an aggressive fight with two of the inexperienced men. I hit the Invader in his back with my axe. He falls to the ground, though he's obviously still alive.

"Finish him off," I order the men, then move on to find something else to kill.

But there are no more Invaders. At least alive anyway. As I look around, all I see are dead figures on the ground and the Astorians standing over them, looking triumphant.

"We did it everyone," Roman says, and the men begin to cheer.

I sidle up to Walker, who still clutches his crossbow with an arrow already loaded and ready to fire. "Anymore escape attempts?"

"They tried, but they failed. Daulton and I stopped them in their tracks."

"Good work. Both of you." I smile at Daulton who looks proud. "It's important we make sure none of those eggs get out."

"Speaking of eggs," Brutus says, indicating all of the eggs that are left behind. "Looks like we got our work cut out for us."

It's true. There are many eggs here. I estimate at least fifty, but I can't be sure. "Well, you know what they say, Brutus? Many hands make light work. Everyone, pick up your weapon and destroy them all."

The Astorians go to work, and I head over to the fallen female, still clutching her eggs in death. With satisfaction, I slam my axe down on one of the eggs.

* * *

After destroying all of the eggs, we continue with our search for the Crystal, all the while being prepared for another battle. There could be more Invaders.

There are several passages through the caverns, so we take the first path and head through another tunnel. This one takes us even lower underground. It's a little darker down here, as there are not as many torches to help light the way. Some of the men take those torches from the wall as makeshift flashlights.

Up ahead, the light returns. Though it's not the yellow glow I'm expecting. It's a pink glow. Is it? Could it be?

It must be, for several of the Astorians begin to run past me, obviously excited about something. I in turn run to catch up with them.

When I finally turn the corner, the pink glow is immense. And in the middle of the room, there it is…a big, pink crystal.


	49. The Crystal

**CHAPTER 49 – THE CRYSTAL**

The Crystal is big, but not so big that we can't move it. Up close, it's beautiful. There seems to be a light almost emanating from it. I run my hand across the pink quartz and see the light from our torches reflected back.

I can't help the smile on my face. This crystal means that Astoria will have magic again. And if there's magic, that means I get to go home. But when I look at the men, I'm confused by their reaction. None of them are smiling anymore.

"What's the matter? This is the Crystal you've been looking for, right?"

Roman nods. "Yes, and…no."

"What does that mean?"

"This isn't all of the Crystal," Walker says.

"Okay, you mean it's…broken?" I look at the crystal, but it all seems intact to me.

"No, not broken," Roman answers. "Just dismantled. The Crystal is not actually one crystal, but three different crystals that fit together. One blue, one pink, and one green. The colors represent our people. By themselves, they're like any other crystal, but when they're placed together, they have extraordinary power. That power gives Astoria magic."

"And that's how it's deactivated? By taking the three crystals apart?"

Roman nods.

"Well, okay then. If one piece of the Crystal is here, then that has to mean the other pieces are nearby. Right?"

The men nod, their optimism seemingly renewed.

"At least we have one part of the Crystal," Walker says. "That's more than we had before."

"We should get it out of here," Brutus says.

"Okay, here's what we'll do. We'll split up. We need a group that can help search for the other parts of the Crystal, and we need another group to move this one."

* * *

It takes several men to lift the pink crystal, but they do it all in good cheer and head back out the way we came.

I choose the group that searches. My tracking skills are good, having tracked more than a few demons and vampires in my lifetime. I suggest to the men that we keep on in the direction we're going. The path doesn't stop. Further past where the pink crystal sat, there is another opening. We head down the path.

Thirty minutes later, we reach a dead end.

"I thought for sure it would have been here," I say, though I try not to sound too disappointed. I have to remain optimistic.

"There are other passages," Roman reminds me. "Let's trek back and check out the other areas."

When we return to the main cavern entrance, we see three additional tunnels. Moving past the dead bodies and eggs, which are now a gooey mess, we decide to explore the first tunnel we see.

The passage is very similar to the first one, though the lighting is better. We walk for what feels like forever but in actuality is probably only about fifteen minutes.

Once again, we get lucky. This time, a green glow greets us at the end of the tunnel. The Astorians, and myself, cheer as we lift the green crystal from its perch. This tunnel dead ends, so we can't explore anymore of it. All we can do is carry the crystal back to the main entrance.

Brutus and a few more men come back after unloading the pink crystal and are relieved to see we found the second one. After a quick handoff, we return to find the third crystal: the blue one. And according to Roman, the most powerful one.

There are two remaining paths to explore in the cavern. The crystal could be in either of these.

"Should we split up?" Walker suggests.

"Yes, I think that's a good idea," I say. "Half to the left, half to the right."

After we divide our group amongst ourselves, I head to the right passage. The joy of finding the two other crystals is palpable in the air. I can almost see the end of this war in sight. And I see Buffy. I start to daydream, thinking of the moment when I can finally see her again.

Maybe I'll surprise her on patrol.

Maybe I'll knock on her door and see her standing on the other side.

Maybe I'll spot her outside the magic shop, standing in the sunshine, and I'll surprise her with a kiss.

I could even send her a note telling her to be at the Santa Monica pier at a certain time, and surprise her just the way I did before. Yeah. No, scratch that. I wouldn't want to wait that long to see her. I've waited long enough.

I'm so lost in my thoughts that when I see Walker and his group in front of us, it doesn't immediately occur to me what's going on. I assume that maybe they found the crystal, and they are coming to let us know. But then, I know. Walker's group has not found the remaining crystal.

The path, I realize, is a semi-circle, and our split groups have just crossed paths.

* * *

We search every nook and cranny of the cavern…again. Maybe there was a path we overlooked. It was dark in some places. It could be easy to do. Or perhaps there was a false wall somewhere, and there's a hidden passage in another place.

But after an hour of searching for the third crystal, searching every corner of the cavern and leaving no rock unturned, we come up empty.

I want to keep searching, if not this cavern, then the area. There has to be more caves and caverns for the Invaders to hide a crystal.

But Brutus shakes his head. "We can't search anymore today, Angel." He points to the sky, where I notice several dark clouds are moving in.

"I'm not afraid of a little rain," I say. Several more of the Astorians agree with me.

"Yeah, but these horses are," Brutus says. "Or rather, not the rain, but the thunder and lightning. I think that's a pretty bad electrical storm coming our way. It's dangerous for us too."

I realize Brutus is right. We need to get home, and we've done all we can do for today. So with reluctance, we all head home. The failure to find the blue crystal overshadows our joy of finding the others. Without the third crystal, there is no magic.

And there is still no going home for me.

* * *

It's been a week since we've destroyed a demon breeding operation, killed several Invaders, and retrieved two of the three missing Astorian crystals. There is ample space in the tunnels for us to store the crystals for safekeeping. They are too precious to leave out in the open.

I run my hand across the smooth pink quartz and watch as the pink and green colors from the crystals mix against the wall.

"Beautiful, aren't they?" Roman says, coming up behind me.

"Yes. Any news?" But I can see from Roman's expression that the answer is no.

"Brutus just got back and informed me that all of the smaller caverns in the area had been searched. There's no sign of our missing crystal."

"Damn. I was hoping. The Ancient One said…"

"Well, the Ancient One was right about these. And it's possible the blue crystal was there before, but the Invaders could have moved it. Though for what reason, I'm not sure."

"And you're sure these two don't have power without the other?"

Roman places his hand on the pink crystal. "I feel a strong energy, yes, but magic? No. I'm sorry, Angel."

"I'm sorry too. We'll find that blue crystal."

"ANGEL! ANGEL!" shouts a voice behind me. I turn to see Neville running toward me, panic-stricken and gasping for breath.

"What's the matter?"

"Invaders! It's an attack!"

"Sound the alarm!" I yell at Neville as Roman and I take off running.

As we reach the main entrance, we grab our weapons and head outside where Carter stands guard. He's looking at something through his binoculars. Carter glances at me and hands the binoculars to me.

"Up ahead," he says. "They're coming fast!"

I look to the horizon and see an army of Invaders on horseback heading our way. It was inevitable that this would happen someday. We've all prepared for it many times. Now it's time to put our preparation into action.

Soon after, the tunnel doors open and a large group prepared for a fight exits. I turn to face the men, then give them a last minute pep-talk before sending them out into battle.

"We're ready, Angel," Roman says, holding his sword in front of him.

I glance around at the other men who also hold their weapons high. Adrenaline is high all around, and Roman is right: they are ready.

The hooves of the Invaders' horses can be heard barreling our way, and there is no more time left. The time to fight is now.

Several of them jump off their horses and charge for us. They're all brandishing long swords as they've come prepared for a battle. I'd like to see their sword go up against my axe.

I swing at one of the Invaders who runs at me, then swing at the second one behind him. They keep coming, one after another, and I wonder how the other men are faring.

I spot Roman in the midst of a sword fight with one. And I see Brutus throwing one of them against a jagged rock. They look like they're holding their own, so I turn my attention to one of the Invaders who is attacking one of the more inexperienced fighters, and he looks like he's struggling. I'm determined to not let any of these men die today. My axe slams into the Invader's back, and the Astorian thanks me before moving on to his next opponent.

A fireball moves past me, and I see that Walker is perched on a rock high above. I see that he's using the same strategy we use to kill the dragons, and that works for me. Next to him, Daulton holds his crossbow high, ready to take aim as well.

And then I feel it. I don't know what it is. A shift in the air. Intuition. Something in my gut that tells me something is about to happen, but I don't know what. Seconds after this strange feeling, I spot another fireball sailing across the air. But it isn't coming from our side.

The Invaders are attacking _us_ with fire now.

It's coming from all directions. One sails past me overhead, and I duck just in time. To my left, I hear one of our men scream out. He's hit. _Damn._

Chaos reigns as more men are injured while those who are uninjured are panicking. I spot a few running away to save themselves.

"Don't give up!" I shout.

Perhaps my voice gives them confidence, for there's a sudden surge of energy from our side. I fight off another Invader with my axe while catching glimpses of the Astorians fighting with all their might. That's all any of us can do, after all.

"Angel, your left!" shouts someone behind me.

I look to my left, spotting an Invader trying to surprise attack me. I swing my weapon at him, though he's quick and dodges my attack. Before I can swing my weapon again, a fiery arrow lands between his eyes, and the Invader falls to the ground.

I glance behind me, seeing Daulton wielding his crossbow. It was Daulton who had warned…and saved me.

"Thanks, man!" I shout before turning my attention to yet _another_ Invader. I'm getting worried that we're outnumbered, but it's only a matter of time before one of us gives up. And it's _not_ going to be us.

Another fireball sails past me. It misses, but I feel the heat on my arm. Seconds later, it hits one of our guys. It's Daulton again.

The arrow appeared to have grazed his arm, and it doesn't look like a serious injury. But the impact, however, is enough to make him lose focus. I watch as an Invader closes in on him, sword raised.

"Daulton! Look out!" I yell, but I'm too far away, and I'm too late.

The sword slashes his neck and knocks him to the ground. The Invader then moves on, as if nothing had happened.

With my axe raised, I charge at the Invader and clip him on the neck, just where Daulton was hit. Maybe that will give him a taste of his own medicine, I figure. The Invader falls to the ground, and I bury the blade of my axe into his face. I squint my eyes as the blood spatters onto me.

They're not all dead though. Some of them are injured like our men, and I watch them slink off in defeat. Though I can't celebrate at the moment. Looking around, our army has had a serious setback as well.

In front of me, a huge black horse whizzes past. I recognize the rider. Cronus.

"This isn't over, Angel!" Cronus yells. I charge at him and his horse, but his horse and the rest of his men are already retreating.

I hear someone cheering that we won the battle, but did we? I look around, seeing several bodies, both Invaders _and_ Astorians.

"These people are hurt!" I yell, springing several of them into action.

"I'll fetch Althea!" Roman shouts as he heads back into the tunnels.

I run to check on Daulton and am surprised to see he is still alive. It's a slight movement of his hand, but that's enough. I kneel down to his side. "Hang in there, Daulton."

I rip my shirt off and apply it to his bleeding wound. But I know it's futile. He's already lost too much blood. He's not going to make it.

Daulton is unable to speak, but I watch his eyes stare at me. He seems to be pleading for help, or mercy. Or maybe perhaps just understanding of why this all happened.

"Hang in there," I tell him again. "We'll get this bleeding stopped," I say, though more to calm him than anything else.

Daulton's head rolls to the side, and I watch as the life literally leaves his face. His eyes remain open, but they are glazed over now. I reach over and brush my hand across his face, closing his eyes for him. He's gone now.

* * *

The commons area has been transformed into a trauma center. Myself along with the other men carry the injured to the cots so that Althea can examine them. Some have severe burns. Others are bleeding profusely. A few have some smaller cuts or other minor injuries, and those men wait while Althea attends to the more serious.

I feel helpless as I watch the scene before me. Althea attends to one of the critically injured men who howls in pain. I cannot remember his name, which shames me. This man has a name and deserves to be known by it. But I cannot remember.

Finally, the wailing stops. I assume Althea has administered something to make him sleep, but then see her covering him completely with a blanket. He did not make it.

I leave the commons area, unable to do anything else to help. All of the injured men have been brought here. Or rather, all of the ones that were still alive.

Outside, Brutus gives me a somber expression as he moves toward Daulton. We cannot leave the bodies here out in the open. We will at some point give them a proper burial. Without a word, I pick up Daulton's legs while Brutus carries him by the arms.

As we move him to another location, I stare at Daulton's face, peaceful now. I silently apologize to him.

This is all my fault.

* * *

It's morning, but I don't want to get up. I don't want to leave this room. I want to hide away and be a recluse. If I had some alcohol, I'd be keen to drown my sorrows.

But I can't stay here in my room. Today I have to get up and help bury the men who I let down in battle. Men who would be alive today had it not been for my failure to save them.

I move to a sitting position and throw my legs over the side of the cot. I take a swig of the warm water in the glass on my nightstand and drink it all. I need to get moving, but my feet seem unwilling to cooperate.

In my mind, a hand touches my shoulder. I close my eyes, imagining Buffy massaging my shoulders. She then moves to sit beside me on the bed.

I open my eyes and stare at the empty space, imagining Buffy were there.

"It's not your fault," she says.

"How can it not be my fault?"

"Because the Invaders killed those men, not _you_."

I turn away, staring at the wall. "Might as well been though. I trained them. Maybe I didn't train them well enough. They weren't ready. It's been almost four years I've been here and I should have done them better."

"Angel…"

Her hand brushes my cheek, and she turns my face to stare at her again. "I know you always blamed yourself for the people who were killed when you were a vampire. And you never believed me when I told you were not responsible."

"But I was."

"You weren't. That wasn't you. And this wasn't your fault either. You can't believe you're responsible for those men's deaths. The Invaders have been killing these people even before you arrived here. This is on them, not you."

In my mind, I see a flash of Daulton's face as the Invader's sword buried into his flesh. I see him on the ground, the life literally leaving his face before my eyes. I should have been faster. If I had been faster, he would still be alive.

On the nightstand, I pick up the empty glass sitting there and throw it against the wall. It shatters into several pieces. When I turn back to where Buffy was sitting, she's gone.

A few moments later, there's a soft knock on my door. Althea lets herself in. "Angel? I heard a crash."

"Sorry," I say as she looks at the glass on the floor.

Althea crosses the small distance to my cot and sits down beside me. "Angel, we're all upset about what happened, but there was nothing you could have done."

"If I had been faster on the field. If I had trained them better…"

"You can't keep torturing yourself with the 'what ifs'. You know, I used to blame myself too."

I look at her, confused at where she is going with this. "For what?"

Althea shrugs. "For not being good enough. For not treating a person with the right medicine. For not being quick enough to administer treatment. Any number of things. But eventually, I realized that blaming myself was only defeating me. Some things are not in our control. Sometimes you can do everything you can do to save a person, but it is still not enough."

"I just wish…" I leave my thought unfinished. Althea knows what I wish.

"I know," she answers, then places her hand over mine. "Can I tell you something?"

I nod. "Of course."

"Someone once said that we weren't going to defeat the Invaders if we didn't fight."

I smile. "I think I might have said that."

"So come on," she says, standing to her feet. "Let's go bury the men that fought so bravely, then continue their fight. We wouldn't want those men to have died for nothing, right?"

I nod. She's right. So I stand up and follow her out the door.


	50. College

**a/n:** This is another one of those chapters that maybe I didn't need to include, but I couldn't seem to delete it either. Sorry, it's short.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 50 - COLLEGE**

"I want to go to Berkeley!" Dawn says defiantly.

"You're going to UC Sunnydale, and that's final!"

Dawn and I are arguing. Maybe I'm being a little unfair. Okay, a lot unfair. But I don't want Dawn to be a five hour drive away. I want her to stay here so I can keep an eye on her.

"If Mom were still alive, she'd let me go to Berkeley," Dawn mutters.

"Well Mom's not here! And I'm the adult now, I make the decisions, and I'm saying no!"

"You can't tell me what to do! It's _my_ life! And besides, I'm almost eighteen! Once I'm an adult, I can do whatever the hell I want!"

"I don't want you moving to Berkeley! It's too far away!"

"Well maybe I _want_ to be far away! You know, it's bad enough that you work at my school and watch my every move! And now you want me to stay here so you can do the same thing! I'm so tired of you controlling me!"

"Fine! Go to Berkeley! But if you do, don't expect me to help you spring for a plane ticket when you want to come home!"

"I HATE YOU!" Dawn shouts, then storms upstairs. Her bedroom door slams a few seconds later.

Still fuming over our argument, I storm into the kitchen and start scrubbing the dishes furiously.

Seconds later, I step on one of Liam's Lego blocks and yelp in pain. I'm about to scold Liam for leaving his toys on the floor again when I realize he's not in the kitchen anymore.

"Liam?"

No response.

I walk to the dining room, then peek in the living room, but Liam's not there either. He couldn't have gone upstairs. I would have seen him walk past.

I go back to the kitchen and look behind the counter. "Liam, are you hiding?"

I'm about to check the basement when I suddenly realize the back door is cracked open, and I race out to the back porch in a panic, afraid of what I might see. "Liam!"

"What, Mommy?"

I breathe a sigh of relief. Liam is sitting on the porch and playing with the stray cat that's been hanging around here.

"Inside! _Now!"_ I order, pointing to the house.

Liam quietly stands up and walks back inside. I follow him and close the door a little too loudly behind me, but I'm angry.

"How many times have I told you to stay inside when it's dark?"

"I'm sorry."

"What were you doing out there?"

"The cat was outside and I wanted to play with him."

"What have I told you about going outside at night? Huh?"

"Not to," Liam says softly.

"Don't you _ever_ go outside by yourself when it's dark again! Do you hear me? It's dangerous!"

Liam stares at me, and moments later, his chin starts to quiver. I made him cry.

I've never yelled at him like that before. What the hell is wrong with me? I immediately regret raising my tone and pull him into my arms, hugging him tightly. "I'm so sorry, baby," I say. "I didn't mean to yell at you." I start to cry too.

"I'm sorry," Liam says, his words muffled against my shoulder.

I pull away and hold Liam by the shoulders. "Liam, it's very dangerous outside at night. You know that."

"Because of vampires?" he asks softly.

"Yes, because of vampires. I'm sorry I yelled at you, baby, but I can't lose you too. Don't ever scare me like that again, okay? You're only to go outside if an adult is with you. You understand? Promise me, Liam."

"I promise, Mommy."

I hug him again, maybe a little too tightly this time. "I just don't know what I would do if I lost you too," I whisper against his neck.

* * *

When I make it upstairs later, I find that Dawn has her door closed and her music playing. I want to talk to her and tell her I'm sorry for being so unreasonable about her college choice, but I'm sure she's still angry and I don't want another argument. Best to talk to her in the morning when tempers aren't so hot.

I help Liam get ready for bed. When I tuck him in I read as many stories as he wants me to. I still feel guilty for snapping at him. Liam, however, seems to have forgotten about the whole incident and gives me hugs and cuddles, so I know he's not upset anymore.

Now if only I could stop dwelling on it.

* * *

"Okay."

I look up from the French toast I'm attempting to make and see Dawn standing in the doorway.

"Okay, what?" I haven't seen her since our fight last night, and I'm not particularly in the mood for another shouting match.

"I'll go to UC Sunnydale," Dawn replies. "But under one condition."

"Okay, what's the condition?"

"I stay in the dorms."

"Dawn, there's no reason for you to stay in the dorms. If you schedule your classes in the morning, you'll be done in the afternoon. I could pick you up."

"No, I want to stay in the dorms. I want to be a freshman on campus and have a roommate and make new friends. I don't want to be a commuter. Plus, Mom let you stay in the dorms, so why can't I?"

She has a point there, and it's hard for me to argue that. "I'm sorry, Dawn."

"Sorry you're not going to let me stay in the dorms, or sorry because you realize I'm right?"

"Come here, sit down for a minute."

I sit on one of the bar stools at the island, and Dawn sits down beside me.

"Ever since Mom died, it's been hard. I feel like everyone I love ends up going away. Dad barely calls or visits anymore. Angel was taken away from me. I feel like now that you're going to college, I'm losing you too."

"Buffy, you're not losing me. I'm just growing up."

"I know. But I can't help but want to protect you. You're my little sister, and even though we argue a lot, I don't know what I'd ever do if something happened to you." I reach out and run my fingers through her long, soft hair, like I used to do when she was little. "I mean, that's the whole reason you're my sister in the first place. You were sent to me so that I could keep you safe. Just because Glory is gone, that doesn't mean you're out of danger. You're still a key, Dawn, and if anyone found out…"

"Buffy, I'm grateful you've kept me safe and all, especially from Glory, but you can't protect me forever. Sooner or later, you're going to have to let me live my own life."

I realize Dawn is right. I can't protect her forever. "Okay."

"Okay…I can stay in the dorms?"

"Okay you can go to Berkeley, and I'll help you."

Dawn stares at me wide-eyed. "Really?"

I nod. "If that's what you really want. It should be your choice, Dawnie, and I'm sorry I tried to make that decision for you. Tell you what. Why don't we drive up there this weekend and check out the campus? I'll get Willow to watch Liam and we'll make it a sisters weekend. We'll get up early on Saturday and drive up there, see the campus. And then on Sunday, we could drive to San Francisco and do a little shopping. What do you say? Sound like fun?"

"Yeah, it does. But we don't have to drive all the way to Berkeley."

"What do you mean?"

"I changed my mind. I want to go to UC Sunnydale."

"But I thought you had your heart set on Berkeley."

"I did, but I got to thinking last night. You're right, it is sort of far away. And it's just not as much fun arguing with you over the phone than it is in person. And plus, I'd miss Liam a lot."

"Just Liam?"

"I'd miss you too."

"You really would rather go to UC Sunnydale?"

Dawn nods. "Yeah."

"And you're not just saying that because you think it's what I want to hear?"

Dawn smiles. "No, I'm not just saying that."

"I'm so glad you want to stay." I wrap my arms around Dawn and hug her, feeling, for the moment, happy.

"I still want to stay in the dorms," she says as we continue to hug. "I need a little independence."

"Okay."

"Um, Buffy?"

"Yeah?" She probably wants me to stop hugging her, but I'm having a sister moment and find myself unable to let her go just yet.

"I think your French toast is burning."

* * *

A/N: I wrote this chapter a long time ago. Looking back this chapter, I don't know if I like the way I portrayed Buffy. She's kind of mean, but she's been through a lot. And she keeps losing people. I guess that was what I had been going for, to somehow capture the emotion that Buffy feels because she doesn't want to lose one more person in her life. Anyway, that's all.

I will post the next chapter tomorrow!


	51. The Ferris Wheel

**CHAPTER 51 - THE FERRIS WHEEL**

Dawn's sitting at the dining room table doing her homework. I take a deep breath, preparing myself, because I know Dawn will immediately refuse what I'm about to ask.

I walk over to the table, and Dawn glances up at me. "What?"

"Do you need help with your homework, Dawnie?"

Dawn laughs. " _You_? Help me with my homework? I might as well ask Xander." Dawn turns her attention back to her math book.

Time for the direct approach. I pull out a chair and sit down beside her.

Dawn looks up from her book again and stares at me. "Okay, what do you want?"

She knows me so well.

"I need a tiny drop of your blood."

"Oh no, not again!"

"Dawn, please! I think I finally found a spell that will work! I think it could be the one that finally brings Angel home."

"Yeah, that's what you said last time, and the time before that, and the time before that. You're not a witch, Buffy. You kind of suck at casting spells."

"Willow can't help me. She doesn't believe Angel is alive and if she doesn't believe that, it's not even worth asking her. Please, Dawnie! I don't need much! Just enough to maybe open a little portal."

"No, Buffy! It never works and you know it! I'm tired of being your pincushion!"

"I'll take you off the chore chart and do everything myself."

"Hmm, tempting. Let me think about it." Dawn pauses for a brief second. "No."

"Okay, fine!" I reach out for a small strand of Dawn's hair and yank it out.

"Oww!" Dawn's hand flies up to her head. "What did you do that for?"

"If you won't give me your blood, then maybe a strand of your hair will work instead." I turn to leave the room, and I'm halfway out when Dawn calls me back.

"Wait."

I turn around, hopeful that for once, my little sister will stop being annoying and just do what I ask her to do.

"Will you do my laundry too?"

" _Your laundry?_ No! I already have my hands full doing my own laundry and Liam's too! I don't have time to do yours as well."

Dawn stands up and closes her math book, then gives me a smirk. "Well then you can't have my blood then."

"Okay, fine. I'll do your laundry too," I say through gritted teeth, and wonder why little sisters have to be so difficult.

"Really?"

"I said I would, didn't I?"

"Is that any way to talk to your little sister who is obviously doing you a huge favor?"

I take a deep breath and mentally count to three. "Yes, I'll do your laundry too. Now we can do this?"

"This better be the last time," Dawn says as she follows me up the stairs.

* * *

I keep staring at the candle's flame, hoping for some sort of delayed reaction I suppose. But it's been over twenty minutes, and it's becoming quite obvious that the spell to bring Angel back did not work.

I had been so sure it would.

"Buffy? Are you still down here?" Dawn calls from the top of the basement stairs. Seconds later, I hear her coming down. "What's that smell?"

She's smelling the candle I still have lit. I pick it up and blow it out.

Dawn stares at the objects I have scattered on the floor, and me sitting against the wall. "What are you doing?"

"It didn't work. I tried to bring Angel back home, but it didn't work." I choke on my words. "I had been so sure it would."

I start crying, right there in front of my sister, and Dawn sits down on the floor beside me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Buffy."

She hugs me, and for once, my little sister is comforting me instead of the other way around.

"You could try it again. Do you need more of my blood? I'll give it to you this time. No arguments."

I pull away slowly, shaking my head. "No, that's okay. I don't think I'm going to try this again. I should just give up, just accept the fact that I'm never going to be able to bring Angel back."

"Don't give up, Buffy. Angel will come back."

"You don't believe that."

"I want to believe that. For you. For Liam. I just want you to be happy."

The loud buzzer on the dryer goes off, signaling the end of the cycle. "Your clothes are in the dryer. They're done."

"I'll finish the rest of my laundry. I'm sorry I asked you to do it for me."

"That's okay. Where's Liam?"

"Asleep on the couch. He was watching a movie and conked out after ten minutes."

"Good. I don't want Liam to see me like this."

I start to gather up the candle and the crystals and the vial of Dawn's blood from the floor, and once I'm on my feet, they go straight into the trash.

"I think I'm going to go upstairs and just be alone for a while," I tell Dawn, then head back up the stairs.

* * *

Upstairs, I gather all of the books I borrowed from Giles and put them in a box. Then, I collect all of the charms and crystals and herbs I took as well. I'm done with spells. I'm done with magic.

When everything is all boxed up, I open the closet door and drag out the boxes full of Angel's books. I'm done with these too. There's not a book I haven't researched.

I decide to take the books downstairs. I don't really have room for them in the closet anymore, not since Liam's toys have taken over. In the living room, the bookshelf we have is dusty, but has plenty of space since Mom threw out those old encyclopedia volumes she'd been keeping since the early 80s.

Grabbing the duster, I clean the shelves, then go to work.

* * *

I hear Liam before he even comes into the house. Seconds later, the door opens and Liam rushes in, all hopped up on energy and sugar.

"Mommy! We got ice cream!" He runs over to me and jumps into my lap.

"That's great!" I glance at Dawn and feign a look of annoyance. "Thanks, Auntie."

Dawn laughs. "Sorry, but we had to. The ice cream truck was calling." Dawn unwraps a red, white, and blue popsicle and takes a lick, then disappears into the kitchen, leaving the hyped-up Liam to me.

"Watcha doin', Mommy?" Liam finishes off his fudgecicle and stares at all the books scattered on the floor.

"I'm putting your daddy's books on the shelf."

"Why?"

"Because I don't have room in the closet for them anymore. You want to help me?"

Liam nods and begins to take some of the books out of the box. But instead of putting them on the shelf, he lays them on the floor in a line and begins to walk on them.

"Hey, Mommy! Look! It's a sidewalk!"

"Liam, don't do that. You're going to get hurt. Hand them here so I can put them on the shelf."

Liam sits down beside me and begins passing me a few books. We have a good team work effort going on until Liam drops one of the books.

"I get it!" Liam crawls over to get the book, grabbing it by the cover. The books spreads open when he grabs it though, and something falls out of it.

"Mommy, look!"

Liam hands whatever it is to me, and I realize it's a photograph.

In the picture, Angel and I are standing in front of the ferris wheel at the Santa Monica pier. "Oh my god. I was looking all over for this picture."

Liam points to the ferris wheel. "What's that?"

"That's the ferris wheel at the pier. It's a ride."

"Can we go ride the ferris wheel?"

"Hmm, I don't know, Liam. You may not be big enough."

"I'm big enough!"

"Well you may not be _tall_ enough."

"I'm tall enough! Can we go, Mommy? Please!"

Liam gives me the pouty face, the one I can never say no to. "Well…they do have some kiddie rides there. Okay, we'll go Saturday. But I don't know if you'll be able to ride the ferris wheel or not. We'll have to see about that."

"Yay!" Liam says as he runs into the kitchen. "Auntie Dawn, Mommy's taking me to ride the ferris wheel!"

I look at the photograph again, remembering how happy we were that day.

"I'm sorry, Angel. I just had a moment. I tried to bring you back, but I couldn't. But I'm not going to give up on you, okay?"

* * *

" _I used to love riding that ferris wheel," I said as Angel and I walked hand in hand on the beach. "I love how it lights up with different colors at night too."_

" _I've never rode a ferris wheel before."_

" _Oh my god, are you serious?"_

 _Angel nodded. "Yeah."_

" _You've never been on a ferris wheel before?"_

 _Angel shrugged. "They didn't have them back when I was growing up. And once I became a vampire, well, let's just say I found enjoyment in other things."_

" _Okay, we're fixing this problem!" I grabbed Angel's hand and led him toward the pier._

" _Where are we going?"_

" _Where do you think? We're going to ride the ferris wheel!"_

* * *

It takes Cordelia and Doyle a very long time to come to the door. So much so that Liam decides to ring the doorbell again.

"Just a second!" Cordelia hollers from somewhere inside.

Cordelia opens the door seconds later, her hair slightly disheveled and a glowing look on her face. I know that look. She's just had sex.

"Wow you guys got here fast!"

Cordelia moves aside and Liam and I enter the apartment. "It took us the same amount of time it always does. Two hours."

"Well…those two hours just flew right by! Hi, Liam! Wow, you've gotten so big!"

"Aunt Cordy?"

"Yeah?"

"You missed a button."

Cordelia's face turns red as she looks down at her shirt. "Oops. I sure did!" She quickly fastens the button and nods toward the living room. "Why don't you two have a seat? I could get you something to drink. I have chocolate milk if anyone's interested."

Liam waves his hand wildly. "Me, me, me!"

Cordelia laughs. "Okay, one chocolate milk coming up. Buffy, should I get one for you too?"

"Water is fine."

"Hey! There's my favorite little man!" Doyle saunters out of the bedroom and Liam rushes into his arms.

"Uncle Doyle!"

Doyle scoops him up and spins him around a few times before setting him back on his feet. "You taking good care of your mum?"

Liam nods. "Mommy's fine."

"Well that's good to hear. Hmm, what's that?"

"What?

"Behind your ear?"

Liam feels behind his ear and looks at Doyle, confused. "There's nothing behind my ear."

"No, I think something's there." Doyle kneels down to Liam's level and reaches behind his ear. Seconds later, he pulls his hand away to reveal a quarter. "Well look at that! It's a quarter!"

Liam laughs and takes the coin. "Mommy, look! I had a quarter behind my ear!"

"Put it in your pocket so you don't lose it."

"Lucky lad you've got here. He's got money growing out of his ears!"

"Hi, Doyle."

Doyle walks over to me and hugs me tight. "Hey, Buffy. You doing alright?"

"I'm fine."

"We're going to ride the ferris wheel, Uncle Doyle!"

"The ferris wheel! Wow! Fun!"

Cordelia walks out of the kitchen, a glass of water in one hand and a cup of chocolate milk in the other. "Ooo, that does sound like fun."

"Don't get your hopes up, Liam. I told him I wasn't sure if he was tall enough for the ride."

Doyle waves off my concern. "Nah, he'll be fine. He may be a wee bit short but as long as you're with him, they'll let him ride."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I've taken the kids on fieldtrips there a couple of times. There's almost always a really short kid."

"Okay, good. That makes me feel better."

"Uncle Doyle? Do you and Aunt Cordy want to come too?"

A look passes between Doyle and Cordelia. As tempting as a day at the pier sounds, I'm pretty sure that as soon as we leave, they're going straight back to bed.

* * *

When Liam spots the ferris wheel, he takes off running.

"Liam!"

Liam turns around and waits impatiently for me. "Come on, Mommy!"

When I catch up to him, Liam grabs my hand and literally pulls me away. Who knew a three-year-old could be this strong, and against _me_?

In line for the ride, Liam gets fidgety, anxious for our turn. I try to distract him with all of the other rides and games we'll play later. It works for a little while, but Liam's attention soon returns to when will it be our turn.

* * *

" _Are you nervous?"_

 _Angel gave me a look. "Nervous? Why would I be nervous?"_

" _I don't know. I thought maybe you might be afraid of heights. You know, now that you're…human?" I whispered._

" _Not a chance," Angel said, though he gripped my hand tightly anyway._

* * *

We're eighty-five feet up in the air, and Liam is thrilled.

"Mommy, look! I can see across the ocean! All the way to the other side!"

"No you can't, you silly goose!"

Liam laughs. "Well I could touch the sky! See?" Liam raises up his arms. "Almost!"

"I don't know if we're that high."

"I can see forever and ever up here!"

* * *

" _Isn't it amazing how you can see so far out from up here?"_

" _Yeah, amazing."_

" _Angel, how can you enjoy the view when you keep staring at me?"_

" _I am enjoying the view."_

* * *

We spent hours at the park, and I'm exhausted. Liam, however, still seems full of energy. I need to unwind though before the long drive home, so I decide to pay Lorne a visit. The bar's closed, but I know Lorne will be here.

"Why we stopping, Mommy?"

"Let's go say hi to Lorne before we leave."

Inside the bar, the place is empty and quiet, not scheduled to open up for a couple more hours. I find Lorne standing behind the bar stocking the shelves with a few glasses.

"Sorry, we're not open yet," Lorne says when the sound of the door closes behind us.

"Not even for us?"

Lorne looks up and his face brightens. "Buffy! What a surprise!" He walks around the bar with his arms out, then hugs me tightly. "So good to see you, doll face!"

We break up from the hug and I give Lorne a smile. "It's good to see you too."

"And you brought the little tyke with you!"

I give Liam's hand a squeeze. "Liam, you remember Lorne, don't you?"

Liam turns shy, staring up at Lorne with big eyes.

Lorne laughs. "Oh sure he remembers me." He points to his face. "How could he forget this unforgettable mug, huh? So, what brings you here?"

"Well, we've been hanging out at the pier having a blast. And we hung out with Cordy and Doyle for a while. We were just about to head back home now, but I thought I'd stop by first and say hello."

"I'm thrilled you did! Well, come, come! Sit!"

I lead Liam over to one of the barstools. It's too high for him to climb on himself, so I pick him up and sit him down on it.

"Whoa, this chair is high!" Liam begins to twist in the chair.

"Don't fall, sweetie."

Lorne looks at Liam and smiles. "How about I fix you a drink, kid?"

"Uh, Lorne? I don't know how they do things in Pylea, but here on Earth, serving alcohol to a three-year-old is frowned upon."

Lorne grins and leans over the bar toward me. "I was talking about a non-alcoholic drink, sugar."

"Oh, sorry. Of course." I feel my cheeks blush with embarrassment.

Lorne turns back to Liam. "I bet you'd like a Shirley Temple."

"A Shirley Temple?" Liam asks with curiosity.

"Oh you'll love it, kid." Lorne quickly whips up the concoction before us, which he tops off with a maraschino cherry. He places two straws into the glass and pushes the red drink toward Liam. "Bottoms up, kid."

Liam eyes widen, as he's never had anything quite this fancy to drink before. "Is it like a slushy?"

Lorne laughs. "Oh it's better than a slushy. Try it."

Liam takes a cautious sip, then smiles. "It's good!"

"Well I do make the best Shirley Temples in L.A. if I do say so myself." Lorne then turns to me. "Now, how about a real drink for mama bear?"

"I better not. We got to hit the road after this, so no alcohol for me."

"How about I fix you a Shirley Temple too?"

"Oh my god. I haven't had a Shirley Temple since I was ten!"

"Well then clearly you're long overdue!" Lorne begins to whip up a second drink. When he's finished, he also tops mine off with a cherry and places two straws in the glass. "There you go, doll face. One Shirley Temple, on the house."

"Thanks, Lorne." As I take a sip, Lorne watches, waiting for my reaction. I give him a nod. "You're right. Best Shirley Temple in L.A."

"Well thank you. It's a gift. So, how are the newlyweds? I haven't seen them in weeks."

"They're still in the honeymoon phase."

Lorne starts to fix himself a drink, though his with alcohol. "You know, don't get me wrong, I'm happy Cordy and Doyle finally tied the knot, but did they really have to run off to Vegas by themselves? They could have at least invited me!"

"I know, I could have been a bridesmaid if they'd had a wedding!"

"Oh I don't care that they eloped. I just wanted an excuse to go to Vegas!"

I laugh. "Don't worry, Lorne, you'll get there someday."

Lorne shrugs. "We'll see. But for now, it's not so bad here. And business is going well, so I can't complain."

"I think it's perfect that you combined karaoke with alcohol. Some people can't sing without it, and some people sing louder with it."

Lorne laughs. "That is very true. Say, since you're here and all, I could do a reading for you if you feel up to singing."

"Oh…I don't know."

"Oh come on. No one's here except me and the kid and I've heard you sing before."

Lorne will be persistent, and I know I'm not going to get out of it. "Okay, I'll sing. But I don't know what to sing."

"Sing our song, Mommy!" Liam begs. "Sing our song!"

Lorne's face brightens. "You have a song? Well then let's hear it!"

I take a deep breath, then exhale. "Okay. I'll sing it."

Liam grins from ear to ear, watching me just as intently as Lorne. I take another deep breath, look at Liam, then sing:

 _Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry."_

As I sing, Liam starts to join in.

 _Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's an Irish lullaby. _

When we finish singing, I turn to look at Lorne, but I can't read his expression. "That was beautiful singing."

"Did you see anything?"

Lorne nods his head. "Yeah, I think so."

"Are you going to tell me or keep me in suspense?"

"I'm not exactly sure what I saw. I only get a sense of things, so I can't tell you specifics. But something big is going to happen."

"Something…big? Apocalyptic big?"

"No, I didn't get the sense of doom and gloom. But I did sense that some big change is on the horizon for you, doll."

"I've had a lot of changes happen in my life. Not all of them have been good."

Lorne then smiles. "I don't know, cupcake. I think this one will."

My hopes begin to buoy. "Angel? You think Angel will come home?"

Lorne shrugs. "Can't say for sure, but I'd like to hope so."

I feel tears stinging my eyes. For the first time in a very long time, I feel very hopeful again. I turn to look at Liam, who is halfway through his Shirley Temple. I reach out to touch his soft, dark hair. "I so want Liam to finally meet his daddy."

Liam and I finish our drinks, and then I look at my watch. "I'm sorry, Lorne, but we better get going soon."

"Well I'm glad you stopped by! You're welcome here anytime!"

"Come on, Liam." I help him get down from the chair. "Can you say thanks to Lorne for the drink?"

"Thanks, Lorne."

"Anytime, kiddo."

As I gather our things, I realize there's one more thing we should do before we leave. "Uh, Lorne? Little boy's room?"

Lorne smiles, then points down the short hallway. "Right down there."

"Thanks. Liam, you better go potty before we leave."

"Okay." Liam runs off to the bathroom.

I turn to Lorne. "If I don't make him go now, five minutes on the road, he'll have an accident."

"The joys of motherhood, huh?"

"Oh yeah, that why I always have a backup plan." I reach into my bag, pulling out a spare set of clothes folded neatly in a large plastic ziplock bag. "Just in case."

Suddenly, Liam runs out of the bathroom, a panicked look on his face as he holds on to the front of his pants. "Mommy, I can't get my zipper down! And I _gotta go!"_

I give Lorne a worried look. "Uh-oh, duty calls." I rush over to Liam and kneel down, giving the zipper an inspection. I give it a tug, and sure enough, it's definitely stuck. Somehow, the zipper has gotten caught in the fabric of his denim. I have no idea how this happened, but of course, this would only happen when Liam really had to go. As if on cue, he begins to do the pee-pee dance as I continue to struggle with the hung zipper.

"Hurry, Mommy!"

"Hold still, Liam."

Liam stops his jerky movements, but I can tell he wants to fidget. And he can't hold it much longer. I better make this quick. Grabbing on to the zipper and the hem of the jeans, I yank the zipper down. This is one of those instances in which slayer strength really comes in handy. Though the zipper is probably ruined now.

"Yay, you got it!" Liam cheers.

I hold open the door to the bathroom and Liam rushes inside. From the bar, Lorne, having witnessed the whole thing, starts to applaud. "Well done, doll face! Another crisis averted!"

I stand up and smile. "Well, you know. Slayer by night. Supermom by day."

Lorne laughs.


	52. Back to the Compound

**CHAPTER 52 – BACK TO THE COMPOUND**

I'm getting impatient. Just when I think I'm making progress with the Astorians, I realize I have far more work to do. I try to remind myself that the Astorians are a peaceful group of people not used to bloodshed and violence. But it feels frustrating to have been here for so long, training these men to fight every moment I can, and still not make significant headway.

So, I come to a conclusion. If I can't get all of them to come along, I'll just have to take on the Invaders myself. Difficult? Yes. Risky? Sure. But as each day passes, the more I miss Buffy. I miss home. I don't want to be in Astoria anymore.

I head to the commons room where several of the men are eating a late dinner.

"I'm leaving in the morning."

The men look at me, surprised.

"What's going on, Angel?" Brutus asks me.

"I'm going to the compound and I'm going to kill Cronus. Anyone is welcome to join me, but if not, I'm going by myself."

I leave the room and head back down the hallway towards my bunker, but I don't get very far.

"Angel."

I turn around to see Roman standing behind me. He looks confused, and I immediately feel guilty for losing my temper.

"Look, I'm sorry," I apologize. I look behind Roman and see Walker, Brutus, and Grayer standing behind him. "You guys aren't the problem. It's some of the others. I can't help the fact that they lack confidence. I've done everything I can do, but I'm tired of sitting around waiting for them to help. I know everything is a risk, and I know it's dangerous, but I'm ready for this thing to end. Aren't you?"

"What do you need, Angel?" Roman asks.

"I need to go back to the compound. I think that's where we're going to find the blue crystal. If I was an Invader, that's where I'd keep it. And I want to find Cronus and put an end to this misery."

Roman nods. "Then I'll join you."

"I will too, Angel," Walker says, stepping forward.

"Count me in too," Brutus says with a smile.

We all then stare at Grayer, knowing he probably has an opinion about this.

"Fine," he says. "I'll help you with your cockamamie plan."

* * *

Thanks to some of the villagers in the Sea District, we have a boat. It was given to us to help us with any fishing needs we might have.

We keep it docked on the north side beyond the mountains. This way, it's well hidden from curious Invaders, though it's a trek and a half to get to.

The boat itself isn't much and has definitely seen better days, but it gets us around.

Since we all won't fit in the Camaro and are lacking enough horses, we're traveling to the compound by sea, and the boat will come in handy.

I'm traveling with Roman, Carter, Brutus, Walker, Hornsby, and Grayer, which makes it feel like old times with the hunting group back together again. And this time, we're hunting Invaders.

* * *

Our journey takes many days. We sail close to land out of necessity and occasionally spot a dragon, which reminds us we have not totally eradicated them.

After weeks of being on water. We finally reach the other side of Astoria, which is a great relief to Walker as he has been seasick for most of the journey.

The compound comes into view. From here, it looks like a tranquil castle by the sea, but looks are deceiving.

After docking the boat, we set up camp on the beach a good distance away. We've already made plans of how this will go down. We won't, as Grayer likes to call it, "storm the castle". Instead, we plan to wait until night falls so we can hopefully break in undetected.

The only hurdle we have is getting past the guards we know are posted throughout the forest. With this in mind, we plan to do some recon of the area and take out the guards so they won't have the chance to stop us.

This is first and foremost a recon mission. Our goal right now is to find the remaining crystal, which we all suspect could be here at the compound.

The secondary goal is to kill Cronus. Once we find the blue crystal, taking down Cronus and the rest of the Invaders will be a lot easier.

* * *

Night falls, and we are ready. Fully armed, the seven of us make our way up the steep hill to the compound.

Earlier in the day, we scouted out the place to learn where the guard posts were. I knew the location of one tower, but figured there had to be more. I was right. We found five total.

There are seven of us, so some of the men decide to pair up, while others like myself go alone. My job is to take out the two guard posts on the south side, which are closer to the compound, and thus, more riskier. But I can handle it.

The guard posts are easy to find at night because of the light at each post, which also makes it easy to spot the guards. On the downside, he could spot me easily too.

I stay in the shadows behind the post and retrieve my crossbow. I've got my axe, but this will be more effective.

I move to get a better position, being mindful of my footsteps. The forest floor is littered with dry leaves that make noise when stepped on.

I load an arrow and take aim. Then of course, the bastard moves and I have to readjust my aim. I let the arrow go and hit the guard in the head. Success. I then scurry up to the guard tower to make sure he's really dead. When I see that he is, I take his weapon. Looks like a tranquilizer gun. _Hot damn._ This baby will come in handy.

I take out the second guard just as easily as the first and meet up with the others. Only Brutus and Carter had some difficulty, but thankfully they managed to take care of it.

"I can't wait to use this," Walker says as he holds up the gun he lifted from one of the guards.

"Only use it if you have to," I tell him. "Weapons like that we need to save for emergencies only."

Walker nods in understanding.

"So, everyone ready?" I ask.

And with that, we make our way to the compound.

* * *

With the guards dead, we can enter the compound undetected. We still must hurry though before the next guard shift change, otherwise the Invaders will know something is up.

We decide it's best to split up, then we'll meet back at camp. If we should find the crystal, we will make plans to bring it back.

With me are Roman and Grayer. Walker and Brutus make up the second group, and Hornsby and Carter make up the third. I decided it was important to have at least one person in each group that was somewhat familiar with the compound.

While the other two groups take the east and west entrances, my group heads for the main. Because it's late at night, after midnight in fact, I feel pretty confident the majority of the Invaders will be sleeping, but I'm not naive enough to think this compound isn't heavily guarded.

In the foyer of the compound, we spot two guards on duty. They're obviously not expecting trouble because both are snoozing. It's tempting to kill them, but we don't want to attract any attention. Grayer of course, grumbles about this once we are out of earshot, but agrees this mission is about searching for the crystal first and foremost.

The three of us search every room, every closet, and behind every door we pass. I suspect that if the crystal is here, it won't be in plain sight.

After avoiding a few more guards and searching for a while, finding nothing of much interest, we finally see something promising. At the end of a hallway, a guard stands at a door. This guard is wide awake.

Grayer motions for me to use the crossbow to take him out. For once, I agree with him. We've got to find out what's behind that door. If there's a guard posted, it must be something, or someone, important.

Roman and Grayer keep watch while I get my weapon ready. I load the arrow, aim for the guard's head, and let the arrow go.

The guard suddenly shifts his position, and the arrow misses. Instead of killing him, it has become lodged into the door and alerts the guard to our presence.

The guard blows a whistle, which I can only assume means we'll have more trouble soon.

With no other choice, I toss the crossbow aside and charge at him with my axe. The guard, with tranquilizer gun in hand, aims at me. I dodge the dart he shoots at me. He suddenly goes down. I'm confused at why for a moment until I see the knife lodged in his forehead.

"You're welcome," Grayer says.

"We need to get in there," I tell Roman and Grayer. "He's guarding something behind this door."

"No, I think we need to get the hell out of here before we have trouble," Grayer protests.

I look to Roman, who seems torn between exploring what is behind the door or running before the other Invaders get here.

We don't have time to decide. From behind us, we hear the sounds of footsteps and see a dozen or so Invaders charging our way.

I see Roman and Grayer using the tranquilizer guns to stop the crowd. I don't want to use that unless I have to. Besides, I prefer my axe anyway. More bloodshed, yes, but it kills them dead.

I fight off three Invaders at once, hitting one on the arm, one in the shoulder, and the other a clean cut to the neck that stops him in his tracks.

But the problem is not my ability to fight. The problem is the sheer number of them coming at us. What were a dozen guards initially are now more than twenty. We're clearly outnumbered, but there's no escape. We have to fight.

In my peripheral vision, I see Roman and Grayer fending them off with their weapons, so I assume that means the tranquilizer is out of ammo.

Slowly but surely, I am making progress. I'm a seasoned fighter, and though I no longer possess the strength I had as a vampire, I am more than capable of holding my own in a fight.

There is some commotion going on and I see Roman struggling. Before I can get to him to assist, I see the Invader raise his sword and Roman going down. _Damn it._

I shove the Invader who is attacking me off, but before I can do anything else, I feel a sting to my neck. I know exactly what this is. I want to help Roman, but find myself without the strength to move.

Then, everything fades to black.


	53. Captive

**CHAPTER 53 - CAPTIVE**

My eyes slowly open, one eye hard to see out of due to the bruising. I'm almost positive I have a black eye. I remember one of the guards landing a lucky punch. In addition to this, my whole body aches, and my head is pounding. It's like a drum, a constant throbbing in my head with every beat. Everything is a little blurry, but my vision slowly comes back into focus. Across from me is a concrete wall, and the numbness I feel tells me so is the floor. My arms are numb too, and for a moment, I can't figure out why, then I realize.

I'm shackled to the wall.

I can't help the groan from deep inside of me as I give the chains a shake. If I was still a vampire, I could probably break them loose after a few attempts, but unless these chains are flimsy, I'm not getting out of them anytime soon.

I take another look at my surroundings, and suddenly, the events come rushing back to me. I had been tranquilized. When I had come to, I was too weak to fight back. I remember someone beating me. _Cronus._ It had been Cronus. He took advantage of my weakened state to avenge his anger toward me. I had been hit on the head, which explains the pounding I feel now. I must have blacked out, because I don't remember anything else that happened after that. And now, I am here. It looks like a dungeon. Well, of course, because that's definitely what it is.

I wonder if Roman is okay. I keep picturing in my mind Roman going down. And what about the others? Did they make it out alright? It would appear, however, that I'm the only one down here. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. Hopefully they got away, but if not…

I don't have much time to worry about them, because shortly after I awake, I hear the door being unlocked. A sliver of yellow light makes me squint as the door opens. A guard walks in with a tray of food and sets it down on the floor beside me.

"Where's that bastard Cronus? I want to see him!"

The guard ignores me and instead, unlocks one of my hands free so that I can eat.

"Answer my question!"

The guard places the key back into his pocket and silently walks out of the dungeon, locking the door on his way out.

I glance down at the tray of food, which consists of a meager portion of bread, water, and berries of a questionable nature. I wouldn't put it past Cronus to poison me, so I leave the food untouched.

Then, with a hand free, I work at trying to loosen the chain around my other hand. It's not going to budge without a key, but I don't give up just yet. Looking to the wall, I notice that the chain is bolted in with a screw. I try to loosen the bolt with my hand, but without the aid of a screwdriver, it doesn't seem to want to budge. And of course, my pocket knife is gone. They made sure to take away my weapons. I miss my trusty axe the most.

Damn.

* * *

I drift in and out of sleep, tired from hunger and thirsty because the water I had hours ago is long gone. The tray of food brought down this morning is now covered in ants. They're having a feast on the bread. I could brush them off and eat it, but I'm not that desperate. Besides, I still don't know if it's been poisoned or not.

No one has been down here in hours, or at least I think it's been hours. It's hard to get a sense of time down here, though the sunlight creeping through the small window on the upper wall is now slanted at a different angle, so I presume it's late morning or afternoon.

I start to fall back asleep, but the sound of keys jangling jolts me awake. Alert now, I sit up and watch as the door opens and Cronus and a couple of his goons step inside.

"Hello, Angel. So nice to have you here…again. Hope you don't mind the accommodations. Then again, you're used to living underground, aren't you?"

I glare at Cronus. Now that I'm finally face to face with him, my mind has gone blank with what I wanted to say.

"What, no hello? No nice to see you? You're certainly getting better treatment than your little friends."

This gets my attention. "What have you done to Roman and the others?"

"Roman, Roman…" Cronus gives his chin a scratch. "Remind me again of who that is. All of those blue-haired freaks seem to look alike to me."

"Stop playing games with me!"

"Your friend is dead."

"No."

"Oh, yes. He was always like a pesky mosquito. Feels so good when you finally swat them."

I'm quiet for a moment, not wanting to believe that Roman is gone. I think of Althea and the children back at home, probably worried and anxious for our safe return.

Cronus kicks the food tray on the floor, sending the berries in the bowl flying. "What? You didn't want your breakfast?"

"I'm not in the mood to be poisoned."

Cronus lets out a hearty laugh. "If I wanted you dead, I would have killed you myself. You can eat the food. I assure you I've done nothing to it."

"You don't want me dead? Could have fooled me."

"On the contrary, I changed my mind about you. In fact, I want you very much alive."

"To torture me?"

"Well, yes, there's that, but there's something else."

Cronus kneels down to my level, his face so close to mine that I can smell his breath, and leans forward to whisper in my ear.

"You're going to fight for us."

* * *

Back alone in my underground prison, my thoughts drift to Roman. I can't believe I've let them down. I've let the whole of Astoria down for that matter. It was my idea to come here, and now I've not only gotten Roman killed, but I'm completely useless by myself.

 _Hey, don't give up. You've got to fight so you can come back to me._

Buffy's voice is so clear in my head that I almost think she's in the room with me. I reach into my pocket and pull out her picture. It's wrinkled, despite the fact that I've been very careful with it. Buffy smiles at me, and I close my eyes, picturing her in my mind.

I may have lost the battle, but the war is still on. I'll kill Cronus with my bare hands if I have to. Nothing will stop me from finding a way back home to her.

* * *

I must have dozed off, because when I awake, Cronus is coming back inside.

"Well, have you had ample time to consider our plans?"

"I'm not fighting for you."

"You don't have a choice."

"What are you going to do? Make me?"

Cronus reaches for a chain around his neck, fumbling with what looks like a blue crystal hanging from the end of it. "We will make you fight for us. If it becomes necessary."

He holds the blue crystal in front of me, and for a moment, it throws me into a trance. I try to look away, but a force I don't understand keeps me staring at it. For a brief moment, I think I want to help him, which is crazy.

Cronus laughs, then moves the crystal away from me. Once out of my eyesight, I'm finally able to look away from it. Rational thought returns. What the hell was that all about?

"Well, what do we have here?"

Before I can react, Cronus snatches Buffy's picture off the floor.

"Don't you dare touch that!" As soon as the words leave my mouth, I know I've made a mistake.

I've let him see my weakness.

Cronus stares at the picture, a slow smile spreading across his face. I hate his filthy hands on her picture, smudging his fingerprints on her beautiful face.

"This must be someone important to you."

I keep my mouth shut this time and simply glare at him.

Cronus looks at me and sneers. "Let me guess…an old flame?"

I continue to glare at him, willing for him to lose interest in the photograph. But I know it's not going to happen.

"Well, she is beautiful, for a human perhaps. Too bad. It almost makes what I have to do almost …difficult."

Cronus reaches into his pocket and pulls out a match book. My eyes widen as he strikes up a match, then slowly touches the flame to the picture.

I keep my emotions to myself, wanting to scream at him for ruining the only thing of Buffy I have left, but I refuse to let him see my pain.

The picture, now blackened, falls from his hand and onto the floor. Cronus snuffs out the flame with his boot, then laughs as he walks out of the room. His guards follow him.

The door slams shut again, and I immediately grab what's left of the photograph, turning it around and hoping against hope that it can be salvaged. But when I turn the paper over, its charred remains crumble in my hand, and Buffy's face is gone.

Alone now, I let myself cry.


	54. Sunshine on a Cloudy Day

**CHAPTER 54 - SUNSHINE ON A CLOUDY DAY**

A beam of moonlight shines through the window of my prison. Since Cronus left, the only living beings I've seen were the guards to deliver my dinner. This time, I ate the meal, but only because I needed to keep my strength.

I reach down on the floor again, feeling in the darkness for the picture, then remembering all over again that it's gone. I'll never see Buffy again.

No, I can't think that. I will get out of this. I didn't spend all this time training the Astorians to fight only to decide to give up myself. I feel something has got to give though. The end of this feels near. At least I hope so.

My attention turns to the beam of moonlight on the floor, and suddenly, I see a shadow. Turning my head toward the window, I cannot believe what I see.

"Angel?" Roman whispers, peering in to my prison.

"Roman!" I whisper back. "You're alive!"

"Hang on. We'll get you out."

How they plan to get me out, I'm unclear, as the window is pretty high and heavily barred. I'm just glad they came, and I'm thrilled Roman is alive. Cronus had been lying, and I had believed him. I should have known he would try to wear me down.

Through the window, Brutus appears. There's no glass covering the windows, only the large metal bars. His large hands wrap around the bars and to my amazement, forces them to bend. I knew his strength would come in handy. Once the bars have loosened enough, he pulls them out, and the bars are gone.

I then notice Walker being hoisted up and through the window. A rope falls through the window after him, and Walker lowers himself into the dungeon.

He lands on the concrete floor with light footsteps. "Hey, Angel," he whispers as he rushes over to me.

"I'm chained to the wall," I tell him.

"I know. I have a key." He grins as he pulls out a key from his pocket.

"How did you get that?"

"I killed a guard and stole it. I rescued your axe too by the way."

"You got my axe back?"

Walker smiles.

I have to laugh. "Thanks, man. You know me so well."

"I'd be lost without my crossbow, so I know how you feel. Give me your hand."

I offer my chained hands to him and feel immediate relief when the chains are released. "We've got to get out of here," I say as I stand up. I stumble a bit, my muscles numb and sore, and Walker is quick to steady me.

"Be careful, man. Come on, let's get you out of here."

Walker helps me up the rope to the window. With the help of the others, they pull me through, and I am finally free. They pull Walker through seconds later while I rest for a brief moment.

"Time for rest later," Hornsby says. "We need to get moving."

He's right, and I get to my feet with Hornsby and Carter supporting me.

"Roman, I'm so glad to see you. Well, glad to see all of you," I amend, looking around at the familiar faces. "But Cronus told me you weren't alive. I was worried when I saw you go down. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Just a bit sore."

He doesn't sound very convincing though, and I see a shadow cross over Roman's features.

"Something's wrong though. I can see it. What is it?"

Roman seems hesitant to answer, and I look around at the other men for answers. It's then that I notice a missing face. "Hey, we're missing someone. Where's Grayer?"

I look to Roman again, and without him even saying a word, I know.

* * *

"One more story, Mommy? Please?"

I close the book I just read and give Liam a look. "Liam, I told you it'd be time for bed after this one."

"But I'm not sleepy! Just one more story? Please?"

I'll give in, like I always do, because I'm a sucker for that pouty smile. "Okay, I'll read you _one more_ story, but then it's lights out…for real." I reach for another book on his bookshelf, but Liam puts a hand on my arm.

"No, Mommy. I want you to _tell_ me a story. Tell me another story about Daddy."

Now I really can't say no. I love telling him stories about Angel. I feel it's important for Liam to know what kind of man his father is, so that when the day comes and they can finally meet, he'll feel as if he's known his father his whole life.

I don't tell him about Angelus. I don't feel it's necessary to tell him that part, and besides, he's too little to understand anyway. Mostly I just tell him about how he was a good vampire, because he had a soul, and that one day, a miracle happened and he became human. Liam likes that part.

I return the book to Liam's shelf and smile at him. "Okay. I'll tell you a story."

Liam grins from ear to ear. These are his favorite stories.

"One night, I was patrolling in the park, and I came across two demons who didn't have mouths…"

* * *

Back at our campsite, everyone seems to be in a somber mood over Grayer's death.

Roman starts a fire to ward off the slight chill in the air, and we gather around it to talk.

"Stuck his foot in his mouth a little too often," Roman says with a laugh. "But he was a good man."

"He was really skilled with a knife," I add. "Learned a thing or two from him about that."

Grayer didn't have any family. We were pretty much it. So we all went around the campfire and talked about our memories with him. I had learned earlier that after the Invaders had injured Roman, Grayer came to his defense. Roman got away, but Grayer paid the price.

"How's your side?" I ask Roman when I see him wince.

On the side of his torso, Roman had sustained a large gash from one of Cronus' men's swords. It looked like it was bothering him more than he was letting on.

"It's healing, though what I wouldn't give right now for some of Althea's salve."

We decide to head back home in the morning. Obviously this mission wasn't as well-planned as I had hoped it would be, and Grayer and Roman paid a price for it.

Brutus offers to set up the tents while the rest of us clear up what remains of our dinner.

"Hey, guys?" The men all stop to look at me. "I just wanted to say thanks again for coming to my rescue. Don't know what I'd do without guys."

"We don't know what we'd do without you," Roman says.

"You'd survive. You could handle it. You've all come a long way since I first met you. I'm glad to know I've trained you well."

"We haven't won yet, Angel," Walker says.

"I know. But we will. Soon."

* * *

"And finally, your daddy burst through the door, fed me the heart, and I was cured. He held my hand until I woke up."

I look down, realizing Liam has already fallen asleep. It's okay though. I've told him this story before. He knows how it ends.

On the nightstand, I glance at Angel's picture. I keep it there so that Liam will know what he looks like. Sometimes he even says goodnight to that photograph. I try not to cry when he does that.

Looking back at Liam, I'm amazed once again with how much he resembles his father. There's no denying it…he is his father's son. He has his dark hair, his eyes, and whenever he smiles, I swear I see Angel's smile.

Sometimes people ask me if it makes me sad whenever I look at Liam, if it somehow reminds me of how Angel's not here. Sure, I'm sad, but the fact that Liam looks so much like him makes me smile. Even though Angel's not here, I see him every day. I see his face reflected in our son.

I stand up, pulling the covers up to Liam's shoulders, and give him a kiss on his forehead.

"Goodnight, Liam," I whisper.

I then look at Angel's picture, seeing his smiling face, and smile. "Goodnight, Angel."

Then I quietly walk away, look at Liam one more time, and turn off the light.

* * *

I'm sitting against a tree trunk, listening to the crickets chirp and an owl hoot in the distance, when I sense someone standing near me. I look up, seeing Walker's concerned face looking at me.

He sits down next to me on a rock. "Hey, man, you alright?"

"I will be. Just can't sleep is all."

"Did they torture you? You're not hurt, are you?"

"They beat me up and practically starved me, but I'm not bothered by that. I've been held captive before. No big deal really, but I'm sure glad you guys came when you did."

"I can tell that something's bothering you though."

"Cronus burned my picture of Buffy. I should have never left it out. I wasn't thinking. But he saw it and picked it up. Burned it right in front of me."

"Oh man. Angel, I'm sorry. I know that picture meant a lot to you. I would see you look at it all the time."

"It's all I had left of Buffy. Hey, what day is it? Is it Wednesday?"

Walker looks down at his watch. "It is now. Just after midnight."

I sigh and look off in the distance, seeing a cloud move in front of the moon. "I thought so." I look back at Walker, who still seems concerned about me, as if he senses my depressing mood. "Today marks four years since I've been here."

Walker's eyes widen. "Wow. I didn't think it had been that long."

"Feels like forever to me."

"You just want to go home."

"More than anything. Don't get me wrong, I want to help you."

"But you miss Buffy."

"I wonder what she's doing in her life now. I guess maybe she's done with college. I wonder if she ever decided what she wanted to be."

"You mean…as a career?"

"Yeah. She'd always joke that she never knew what to study in school. They never had a major specific for slayage."

"Too bad your girlfriend isn't here. She could help us."

"Yeah. But I wouldn't wish her here for anything. No offense."

"None taken. If I could send Alicia and the girls away from here, I would. But I feel like they've been safe in the underground bunkers. I just wish they could get out and enjoy the sunlight without worrying about the Invaders attacking us at every moment."

"They will, Walker. This is going to be over real soon. I can feel it. And you and your family will be safe once again."

"And you'll get to go home too," Walker says, smiling. "Back home to Buffy."

"Yeah, back home to Buffy. I can't wait."

A rusting sound suddenly catches our attention, and Walker turns around.

"What was that?"

I grab my axe and look in the direction the noise came from. "Might just be an animal."

I head in the direction to go investigate, with Walker behind me, when out of the bushes emerges a familiar face.

" _Grayer_?"

He walks towards us, limping. "Yeah, thanks for waiting for me," he says in a sarcastic tone.

"Grayer, we thought you were dead!" Walker says.

"Like those Invaders could take this cantankerous fool down," Grayer says. A rare smile appears on his face.

Our voices wake up the others, who seem just as shocked as we are to see Grayer.

Grayer, not generally one for any sort of affection, accepts hugs and handshakes from all of us.

"I don't understand," Roman says. "I saw you go down. We thought…"

"I was knocked unconscious. They threw me down a hill. Guess they thought I was dead. I laid low until I was confident they wouldn't bother me. Then I backtracked and tried to figure out where the hell you guys were. So, as I was saying…thanks for waiting for me."

I laugh and pat Grayer on the back. "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm sure glad to have you back."

* * *

 ** _April 28, 2004_**

 _Angel,_

 _It's after midnight now, and it's been four years to the day since you've been gone. Four long years since you were torn away from me._

 _The anniversary of that day has always been hard for me._

 _I try to put on a brave face and try not to let on how upset I am. But on the inside, I feel a little part of my heart dying._

 _I try not to think about that day, but no matter what I do, I can't take my mind off it. I wish you were here, Angel. I wish you'd come back to me. I haven't given up on finding a way to bring you back, but I'm tired of the false hope I get whenever I come across something that I think will work, and it doesn't._

 _It's ironic. My sister is a key, and supposedly, can open any portal to any dimension. But apparently, she cannot open yours. Believe me, I've tried. She says she's tired of being a pincushion._

 _I wonder what you're doing now. I wonder how you are. Are you still trying to come home to me, or have you given up? Or is coming home simply not possible?_

I close my journal and put it in my nightstand drawer. I then turn out the light, hoping sleep will come soon, but the digital display on the clock seems to be too fast. Not surprised I can't sleep. I'll be amazed if I can actually make it through this day.

I'm not in bed for very long when I hear my bedroom door creak open. Sometimes when Liam is scared or has a bad dream, he'll come sleep in my room.

Tonight, I'm the one having the bad dream. Only it's not a dream; it's reality. Maybe I need to accept it. Maybe it's time for me to finally accept that Angel is not coming back.

Liam climbs onto the bed, his little foot jabbing my stomach.

"Hi, baby. What's the matter?"

"It's thundering!"

I listen, and I realize rain is hitting the roof. I'd been so lost in my thoughts it didn't register before. "It's just raining, baby. I don't think there's any thunder."

"But it might thunder!"

"You want to sleep in my bed tonight?"

"Yes!"

Liam curls up against me, placing his head next to mine, and I get a whiff of the baby shampoo I still wash his hair with. I wrap my arm around him, and Liam turns his head and kisses my cheek.

"Goodnight, Mommy. I love you."

"I love you too, Liam."

Liam must have caught the tone in my voice, because he then asks, "Mommy, are you crying?"

Even if the dark, he can tell when I'm sad.

"Just a little."

"Why you crying, Mommy? You sad?"

"I just really miss your daddy, that's all."

"Don't cry, Mommy. Daddy will come home one day. 'Member what you said? You just have to be patient. Okay?"

I smile, despite my sadness, but Liam's optimism is catching. "Okay," I whisper, holding him a little tighter.

* * *

When I wake up the next morning, I'm surprised to find it's already a little after 7:30. Liam usually wakes me up earlier than this. And I know he must be awake since he's not in the bed anymore.

You know you're a mother when sleeping past seven-thirty is oversleeping.

A few minutes later, I make my way downstairs and find Dawn in the kitchen.

"Morning, Buffy."

"Good morning. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sleep so late."

"That's okay. I knew you didn't have work until later today so I told Liam to let you sleep a little longer. I already fixed breakfast for him. He's in the living room watching cartoons now."

Dawn finishes loading the dishwasher, then grabs a towel and starts to wipe down the counter.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with my sister?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're cleaning up the kitchen, you're making breakfast for your nephew…"

"What? I can't do something nice?"

"Thanks, Dawnie."

Dawn hangs the dish towel back on the stove handle, then walks over to me. "Buffy, I know what today is. I just…I don't know. I thought maybe I could do something nice for you."

"I didn't think anyone would remember."

"I remember, Buffy. Every year when this day comes around, you put a smile on your face and try to not to let on how sad you're feeling, but I notice. And I miss Angel too. He was always nice to me. He was sort of like…I don't know, like a big brother to me sometimes."

"He had a little sister once. I think you reminded him of her sometimes. I'll finish cleaning up in here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Cleaning keeps my mind occupied on other things. I kind of need that today. And you need to get to school anyway."

"Hey, Buffy? Is it okay if I go to the mall with Amanda after school? Her mom can pick us up and bring us back."

"Sure, that's fine. Do you need some money?"

"No, that's okay. I have some birthday money saved up."

"Why don't you take a couple of twenties anyway? I have some bills in my purse. It's in the living room."

Dawn looks at me wide-eyed. "Really?"

"Yeah. Buy yourself something nice. You'll be starting college in the fall and you'll need some new clothes."

"Wow! Thanks, Buffy!"

A horn beeps outside, and Dawn grabs her backpack. "That's my ride."

"Yeah, you don't want to be late. Have fun at the mall."

"Thanks." Dawn leaves the kitchen, then seconds later, pokes her head back in the room. "Oh, by the way. Liam drew a picture for you. It's on the counter. He wanted me to make sure you saw that. I helped him write the words."

Dawn leaves, and I reach for the drawing. One other thing Liam inherited from his father was his love of drawing. Of course, the picture was obviously drawn by a three-year-old, but I can tell that when he gets older, he's going to be really good at it.

There's a lopsided square in orange crayon, which I'm guessing is a house. Inside the square are two circle/stick people. I know which one is me. I'm the bigger one with the shock of yellow hair.

On the sidewalk is another circle person with black crayon scribbled on top of his head. He is walking towards us.

At the bottom of the picture, Dawn has written out a description of the scene: "Daddy Comes Home".

This one's definitely going on the fridge.

In the living room, the TV is on, but Liam seems to be more interested in the game he's playing with his action figures. Liam sits on the floor next to the coffee table, holding a soldier in one hand and an alien in the other. Noises which I can only assume must be his imitation of a machine gun sputter out of his mouth, and seconds later, the alien falls off the table.

"Whoa! I'm going down…Hasta la vista…baby!" Liam shouts.

I think he's been spending way too much time with Xander lately. I don't know where else he would have picked that phrase up.

"Good morning, Liam."

Liam smiles at me. "Hey, Mommy."

I walk over to Liam and plant a kiss on his forehead. "Thank you for the drawing, baby. I love it."

"Mommy, are you still sad?"

"Come here, Liam." I sit on the couch and Liam gets up from the floor. I pull him into my lap. "Liam, sometimes I feel really sad, especially when I get to missing your daddy, but you know what?"

"What?"

"You always cheer me up. And you always make me smile." I brush Liam's bangs out of his eyes. "You're like my sunshine on a cloudy day. And I don't know what I would ever do without you." I hug Liam, and he wraps his arms around my neck. "I love you so much, Liam."

"I love you too, Mommy."

I kiss Liam on the cheek, tasting syrup, and I give him a smile. "Did you have pancakes for breakfast?"

Liam grins. "Yeah! How'd you know?"

I can't help but laugh. "Because you still have syrup on your face!"

"Oh." Liam touches the sticky spots on his face and mouth.

"Go get a wet washcloth and wipe your face, okay?"

"Okay." Liam gets out of my lap.

"And Liam?"

"Yeah?"

"Brush your teeth too. You need to get that sugar off before you get cavities."

"Okay." Liam heads to the staircase but pauses at the bottom step. "Hey, Mommy? You can have some pancakes too. Auntie Dawn and me left you some."

"Thanks, baby."


	55. Graduation

**CHAPTER 55 - GRADUATION**

 _May, 2004_

I stand in front of the mirror wearing my blue cap and gown. I'm graduating today. I want to be happy, but I can't. My mother isn't here to see this day. Or Angel. Or Dad, because he's too damn busy with work or whatever.

Downstairs, I can hear Willow and Tara fussing about party decorations for afterward. And every few minutes or so, I hear another balloon pop. At least Liam is having a good time.

I hear a knock on the door, but before I can answer, Dawn pokes her head inside. "Are you ready yet? Those three downstairs are driving me _crazy_."

I don't answer her and turn back to the mirror to stare at my reflection.

"Are you still mad at me?"

"For what?"

"You know, last night? Our fight? Over the garbage? Look, I'm sorry, okay? Can we just put a pin in it and call a truce for now? I know it's your special day and all."

"I'm not mad at you, Dawnie, though a cease-fire sounds like a good idea." I take the cap off and fumble with the tassel that keeps coming off of it.

"Oh. You're not mad? Well that's…good. But why don't you look happy? It's your graduation day."

I sit down on the bed, not caring if my gown wrinkles, and reach for a tissue on the nightstand.

"Buffy? What's wrong?"

"What do you think, Dawn?"

Dawn looks confused for a moment before I see realization on her face. "Oh. Right."

"It was so important to Mom that I finish college. Even when I had Liam, she didn't let me off the hook. She said she didn't care how long it took me to finish college. The only thing that mattered to her was that I finished it. I promised her that I would. And now, I'm finally done with it, but she's not here to see it. She didn't even get to see my high school graduation either because of the stupid mayor."

I dab a tissue to my eye. Dawn sits down beside me and reaches for my hand. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I know how you feel. I want Mom to come to my graduation too."

"At least she got to see your kindergarten graduation."

Dawn smiles. "Oh yeah. I can't believe they even make caps and gowns that small."

"They didn't do that kind of stuff when I was kid. At the end of the school year, you got a report card. That was it. On to the next grade. You weren't done with school yet."

"I think it was more for the parents than anyone else."

"Yeah."

We sit in silence for a few moments, and I'm desperate to change the conversation before I have to redo my eye makeup. "So, how bad is it downstairs?"

"Well…Liam's popped about a dozen balloons. Willow's freaking because the graduation banner got torn. And Tara went on a napkin run because Liam spilled punch over all the other ones. Oh, and he also used his fingertip to scrap some icing off the side of your cake. Don't eat on the left side. Let that be Liam's portion."

In spite of it all, I laugh. "I guess I better get down there." I rise to my feet and head to the door.

"Oh, Buffy, wait. You forgot." Dawn holds my cap.

"Thanks."

"Let me." Dawn, who is already several inches taller than me, places the cap on my head. I can see her biting her lip as she adjusts the cap just so. "There, perfect. Uh, which side does the tassel go on? I don't remember."

"On the right side."

Dawn places the tassel on my left side.

"My other right side," I tease.

"Oh. Duh."

"How do I look?"

"You look great, Buffy."

"Do I have to do redo my eye makeup?"

Dawn inspects my face. "No, you're good."

"Alright then. Let's do this." I move to the door, but pause and turn to look at my sister. "Dawnie?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you're here."

"You're my sister. I wouldn't be anywhere else."

Dawn takes my arm, and together, we head downstairs.

* * *

"Pomp and Circumstance" plays as we graduates march out into the stadium. It feels a little stuffy in here, and I see a few people in the crowd fanning themselves with their programs. Yep, feels like a graduation ceremony to me.

I'm glad when I make it to my chair, and I sit down and prepare myself for an hour of speeches and music played by the UC Sunnydale band. I reach for the program under my seat and begin fanning myself along with everyone else.

As the speaker drones on, I can't help but zone out. Nobody cares about long speeches. All we really care about is our turn to go up to the stage. My last graduation had been more eventful than this. To pass the time, I scan the crowd, hoping to spot my crew in the stadium seats. There are so many people here though, and some people are so high up that I can barely make out there faces. I decide to look for Willow's red hair. Red hair stands out. But every time I spot a redhead, it's not Willow. Where are they?

Finally after several more minutes, the speaker steps away from the podium and a woman takes his place. It's time. Though I still have a while to wait. We're seated alphabetically.

"We request the audience to hold their applause until the end of the ceremony. We'd like everyone to be able to hear all names that are being called and loud cheering is sometimes disruptive."

Well this is new. We can't do shout-outs now? I remember Xander and I whooping it up at Willow's graduation. I feel a little disappointed. My shining moment and I don't even get a 'whoop-whoop'?

At last, my row is finally called up to the stage. And after waiting for all of the other 'S' names to go first, I finally, finally get my turn.

"Buffy Anne Summers."

I walk up the steps to the stage in silence. I know somewhere in the audience, my friends are restraining themselves from whooping and hollering.

"HI, MOMMY!"

I know that voice.

There's a soft murmur of laughter from the audience. I look to where I heard Liam's voice, and finally spot him. He's standing at the rail waving frantically, along with the rest of my crew. And Willow's holding a sign that says "CONGRATS, BUFFY!". They had snagged seats in the stadium behind me…that's why I couldn't find them.

I wave back, and just know Liam is squealing with excitement. He doesn't understand what a graduation is. He just knows it's a special day for me.

When I reach the center of the stage, I accept my diploma, shake the dean's hand, and smile for the obligatory photograph.

As I walk back to my seat, I smell a familiar scent, like jasmine. It's the same perfume my mother used to wear. I look around, but there's no one standing near me. I can't help but smile as I sit back down. I can still smell the perfume.

Maybe my mother is here after all.

* * *

It's a madhouse outside the stadium after graduation. You can't move an inch without bumping into someone. Why did we not agree on a meeting place afterwards? I know there's no way anyone will find me. I'm lost in a sea of blue gowns. So it's up to me. Once again, I look for Willow's red hair. They've got to be around here somewhere.

This time, I finally spot her. Standing next to Willow is Xander, who has Liam hoisted up on his shoulders. They're looking for me too.

"LIAM! LIAM!" I wave my hands in the air, wishing all of these people would get out of my way so I can get to my little boy.

I see Liam looking in my direction, and when he spots me, he points excitedly. "MOMMY!"

"Excuse me, sorry," I say repeatedly. I'm bumping into everyone. Apparently they all think it's fun to just stand around.

When I finally make it to the tree my crew is standing under, Liam runs to me and hugs my legs. "Mommy!"

"Hi, baby!"

"Congrats, Buffy!" Willow squeals. She waves around the sign she's still holding.

"Thanks, Will."

I hug Willow, then Xander.

"You finally did it, Buff!" Xander says.

"Yeah, finally. It only took me an extra year, but I did it."

"You're going to have a lot of student loans," Anya remarks.

"Mom would be proud," Dawn says, smiling at me.

I pull Dawn in for a hug. I want to tell her about how I felt Mom's presence, but maybe when we're back at home would be a better time.

"Congratulations, Buffy," Giles says.

"Thanks, Giles."

Liam tugs on my gown. "Can we go to the party now?"

"Well I don't see why not. Let's go!"

* * *

Back at the house, Liam grabs my hand and literally pulls me into the dining room. "Come and look, Mommy! We decorated it!"

The graduation banner, I recognize as Willow's old banner, looks a little lopsided.

"It tore," Willow says. "I tried to tape it up. I guess it's not holding up very well."

"It's fine, Will."

"And we had more balloons," Tara says. "But someone popped a few." Tara tickles Liam, and Liam rolls with laughter.

"I think it looks great. And I love the cake!" Beside the cake, I spot some napkins fanned out in a decorative manner. But something seems a little…odd. I read the writing on it. "' _Congrats! It's a boy!_ ' Huh."

Willow snatches one of the napkins "' _Congrats! It's a boy!_ '? Tara! These are baby shower napkins!"

"I know! But they were all out of the graduation napkins! This was all they had!"

"But they're _baby shower_ napkins!" Willow shouts again.

"Well they say 'Congrats!' And they're blue! That's what you wanted!"

"You should have just gotten plain napkins!"

"You said you didn't want plain napkins. You said you wanted 'festive'."

"Will, Tara!" I hold my hands up. "Look, I don't care about the napkins, okay? Really. They're fine. What I care about are the people in this room. Each and every one of you. It means a lot to me that you all wanted to be here for my special day."

From across the table, Dawn smiles at me.

"And a big thanks to Oz for scoring extra graduation tickets for me."

Oz shrugs. "It was no big deal. I have connections."

"It was a very big deal to me. UCS is very stingy with their tickets."

I feel a tug on my dress and look down to see Liam staring at me. "Mommy?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Can we have some cake _now_?"

"Yes, we were just getting to that part. You get the whole left side."

Liam's eyes grow wide. "The whole side?"

"Yep. And don't complain about the lack of frosting on your piece! You already ate it!"

* * *

Sometime in the middle of eating cake, there's a knock at the door. I'm not expecting company, but sometimes Spike comes over unannounced when he hears something is brewing over at Willy's. I really hope there's not trouble I have to deal with tonight. I excuse myself and go to answer it.

I'm surprised to see that it's not Spike at the door, but Riley. And he's not alone.

"Riley? Hey!"

"Hey, college graduate." He smiles and greets me with a hug.

"This is a surprise. I didn't think you'd be able to come."

"Well of course I was planning on coming. I didn't want to miss your big day. I'm just sorry I couldn't make it for the actual ceremony. Our flight got delayed."

"And who is your friend?" I look at the smiling brunette standing next to Riley.

A wide grin spreads across his face as he puts his arm around her. "This is Sam. She's my wife."

* * *

We're all surprised by Riley's sudden nuptials, but we all agree that he and Sam are perfect for each other.

We gather round and listen to Riley and Sam tell the story of how they met in the rain forest of South America, then eloped in Vegas on the way back. It's true that they haven't known each other for very long, but Riley and Sam say they feel like they've known each other forever. And they're both from Iowa, their respective hometowns only thirty minutes apart. How's that for coincidence?

I'm glad that Riley found someone. It makes me feel a little less guilty for not returning his feelings. Not that those feelings exist anymore. Clearly he only has eyes for Sam now. It's so nice to be able to be friends again without the awkwardness.

At the same time, Riley's happiness makes me feel sad. Once again, another one of my friends has found happiness in love. Meanwhile, my heart is still lonely, waiting for Angel to return.


	56. Close Call

**CHAPTER 56 - CLOSE CALL**

 ** _July, 2004_**

Liam and I exit the movie theater with Liam wound up.

"Hey, Mommy? Did you see that part when he was like, 'Hey! Can you move your big butt out of the way?'" Liam rolls in a fit of laughter.

"Yeah, baby, I saw that part. That _was_ funny."

It's so good to hear Liam laugh. It's been ten months since my mother passed away. Liam still pulls away sometimes, and I know he still misses his grandmother. But I'm glad at least that he still remembers her. I know that one day, she'll only be a vague memory to him, if he remembers her at all, and that saddens me.

Dawn's more rebellious, and we argue a lot more now. Of course, she's probably still pissed at me for taking that job at her school. She doesn't want her big sister keeping tabs on her but that's too bad.

Meanwhile, I just try to keep all the plates spinning, muddling through each day and the next as I try to put back together some sort of semblance of the family we used to be.

I find also that I treat Liam to things I never would have before, like a movie way past his bedtime and popcorn to spoil his dinner. So what if I spoil him rotten? As long as he's happy, I'm happy, if just for a moment.

Our jeep is the lone vehicle in the parking lot. We're the last ones to leave the theater since Liam spent nearly fifteen minutes in the bathroom.

"Hey, Mommy, can we get some ice cream?"

"You want ice cream? How can you still be hungry after all of the popcorn and candy you just had?"

"I don't know. Can we go get ice cream?"

"No, Liam. You've had your quota of sugar for tonight. We'll get some tomorrow. Besides, it's past your bedtime now. I say we go home, get ready for bed, and—"

I feel a tingle up my spine, that little switch in my brain alerting me that danger is nearby. Over by the dumpster, I see two dark figures start to approach us.

"And what, Mommy?"

I snap back to attention and shove my keys into Liam's small hand. "Liam, I want you to get in the car and lock all the doors."

"Why?"

"Just do it, Liam! _Now_!"

Liam stares at me for a moment with wide eyes, sensing that tone of panic in my voice, then quickly and without argument does what I tell him to do.

"Enjoy the show, Slayer?" one of the vampires asks as the pair stands in front of me.

I shrug. "Not as much as I'm about to enjoy this one." I made the first move, striking the first vampire's jaw with my fist, then delivering a roundhouse kick to the second. "You know, the show in which I kick your ass?"

As the second vampire rolls to the ground, the first one charges toward me again. We circle each other for a half second before I make the first move. I aim my fist to strike him in the face again, but he blocks my move and ends up striking me instead. I stumble back slightly, miffed that he got a hit, but I shake it off and throw myself back into the fight.

The second vampire is now back on his feet and joins in. As I fight both of them off, I spot a large rock on the ground. Dodging both vampires, I reach down and grab the rock, then throw it against the first vampire's head. As he stumbles back, it's just enough of a distraction for me to grab the stake in my pocket, and I bury it in his chest.

From the corner of my eye, I see Liam in the passenger seat, his face pressed up against the window. I've been honest with Liam about what I do at night, but this is the first time he's actually seen me in action. I've kept him carefully guarded until now. I wish I could signal for him to get down on the floor, but I don't want to bring any more attention to him.

As I continue to fight the other vampire, the same rock I threw hits me in the back. Stunned, I realize there is another vampire joining in on the fight.

 _Great._

With my stake at the ready, I go to work at fighting them both off. And for a while, I think I have the upper hand, until another vampire appears.

"Oh my god! Are you multiplying?"

I tighten the grip on my stake, stabbing another one of the vampires. My triumph, however, is short lived when the remaining two vampires grab me from behind, each holding on to one of my arms.

And then, I hear the sound of glass breaking…

The jeep's alarm begins to blare, and I look in horror as yet another vampire shakes the jeep with Liam inside.

"LIAM!"

"Ooo, looks like Sammy found a little treat," one of the vampires whispers in my ear. "Wonder if the blood of a slayer's child tastes just as sweet as the slayer herself."

"LIAM! LIAM!"

I struggle to get free from their grasp, but in my panic, I lose my stake, and my focus. A blow to the head knocks me down, and for a moment, I feel the world spinning. It's only the sounds of Liam's cries that bring me back.

 _I have to save Liam._

I don't care if anything happens to me, but no one is touching my child!

Fighting the pounding in my head and a wave of dizziness, I regain my composure, then wrench my arm from the vampire's grasp and strike him in the jaw.

Liam's cries for me grow louder, and just when I think it's too late, a blur of platinum blonde hair enters my field of vision.

Spike!

I breathe a sigh of relief. The vampire near the jeep is as good as dead, and with Liam safe for the moment, I regain my focus.

Grabbing the stake from the ground, I aim behind me, taking the vampire trying to attack me by surprise. I don't even have to look at him to know that he's now dust. Then, I turn my attention to the other vampire. Standing behind him, I see yet another vampire has joined the fight. Lovely.

A surge of adrenaline rushes though me as the vampires charge toward me. They're trying to gang up on me, thinking they have the advantage of two against one, but I've got some more tricks up my sleeve. Fighting the rush of blood to my head, I run and do a somersault forward, kicking them both to the ground. The heel of my boot is sharp, leaving a nice dent in their ridged foreheads.

As they fight to regain balance, I aim my stake toward the chest of one, promptly killing him. The last one tries to put up a fight, but he's as good as dead too. I plunge the stake into his chest as well.

The car alarm finally stops, and my stake falls to the ground. All I can think of is Liam. I start running toward him.

" _LIAM! LIAM!_ " I throw the back passenger door open. Liam sits in the back, huddled on the floor behind the driver's seat. When he sees me, he scoots over to me and I scoop him up into my arms. I hug him tightly, swaying back and forth with him as I cry into his shoulder.

"Liam, oh my sweet baby." I kiss Liam on the side of his head, tears rolling down my cheeks as he reaches around and clutches the back of my jacket. "Are you okay?"

"Yes."

I pull back to look at Liam. "Are you sure? You're not hurt anywhere, are you?"

"No, Mommy."

"Is he alright?" Spike asks, walking over to our side of the car. I see the keys in his hand. He must have turned the alarm off.

I nod, sniffling back a few sobs. "Yeah, he's fine. Not a scratch on him. If you hadn't shown up…I don't know how to thank you enough."

Spike grins. "Just say 'thank you', Slayer."

"Thank you, Spike."

"Mommy, I wanna go home now."

"Yeah, me too." I peek in the car, surveying the damage. Fortunately the glass from the windows appears to be contained to the front passenger seat. I put Liam down and he climbs into back. "Stay away from the glass, Liam. We'll have to get that fixed tomorrow."

When Liam's buckled into his seat, I close the door and look to Spike, words of gratitude simply not enough to thank him for what he has done for me tonight. "How did you know?"

"I followed you here. I do that sometimes, to make sure you're safe, especially when you're with the boy. Angel would have wanted me to look out for you. And I couldn't let anything happen to little Peaches, now could I?"

"How long have you been following me?"

"Since Angel left."

"Why?"

"Because, Angel's my family. We may not always get along, but he's still my family. And it's what he would have wanted."

"Do you think he'll come back, or do you think what everyone else thinks, that's he gone forever?"

Spike grins. "Peaches will be back. I've never known him to give up, especially when there was something he wanted."

"I better get Liam home." I nod toward the jeep. "It's way past his bedtime."

"Yeah, better get him home. Well, goodnight, Slayer." Spike starts to walk away.

"Spike?"

He turns back, and stares at me for a moment.

"I'm really glad you saved us tonight."

Spike grins at me. "Don't go blabbing that to everyone, Slayer. I do have a reputation to keep," he says before turning to walk away.

* * *

Liam is already asleep when I go to tuck him in later that night, apparently victim to the crash of his sugar high.

I quietly sit at the edge of his bed and just watch him sleep for a while, his little chest rising and falling with every breath. I had thought he might have trouble getting to sleep, but he doesn't appear to be fazed by the night's events at all. _Children are resilient_ , I hear my mother say. _They bounce right back._ I'm grateful for this. I don't want Liam to know how close he was to dying tonight.

"I'm so sorry, Liam," I whisper to him, even though I know he's in too deep of a sleep to hear me. "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you tonight. That's never going to happen again, okay? From now on, we can't be too careful."

I pull the covers up to Liam's shoulders and place a feathery light kiss on his forehead. "Goodnight, baby. I love you."

I glance at Angel's picture on the nightstand before switching off the lamp, then leave the room as quietly as I came in. Once I close the door, I start to cry, right there in the hallway outside Liam's door.

When I think of how close I came to losing him…

 _I can't lose him too._

Slowly gaining my composure, I head down the hallway back to my mom's old room. It's still hard for me to think of it as my room, even though I sleep here now. I sit down on the bed and reach for a tissue on the nightstand, then give my nose a good blow.

"Buffy? Are you okay?"

Dawn stands in the doorway, and I wipe my eyes and stow the tissue under my pillow, quickly gaining my composure. "I'm fine."

"No you're not. You're crying." Dawn walks into the room and sits down on the bed beside me. "What's wrong?"

"Liam and I had a close call tonight. Too close. We were walking to the car after leaving the movies, and a group of vamps ambushed us. They must have saw us go into the theater and were waiting for us. They were ordinary vamps. Nothing special about them, and I could take them. But Liam was with me. I had to keep him safe."

"Did they try to hurt him?"

"Not at first. I gave Liam the keys to the car and told him to get inside and lock the doors, and he did. Then I started to fight them off. Things were going fine until I heard the sound of a window breaking. The next thing I knew, the car alarm was going off and Liam was screaming, and that split moment when I was distracted, two of them came up behind me and held me back and nearly knocked me out. I was so terrified something would happen to him."

"Oh my god, that's terrible."

"And then, out of nowhere, Spike showed up. He pulled the vamp off the car and I took care of the others. I never thought I'd be so happy to see Spike. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost Liam. Ever since the moment he was born, I vowed to keep him safe. And I couldn't even do that tonight."

"Don't say that, Buffy. You did keep him safe. And so you had a close call, well, we've all had close calls. I bet even if Spike hadn't showed up, you would have mustered up the strength to fight all of them off. I mean, hey, even regular moms can lift a car off their child, or so they say anyway. And they aren't even slayers."

"I guess. I'd just never forgive myself if something happened to Liam. He's the only part of Angel that I have left."

"Is Liam okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine. Not a scratch on him. He was a little shaken up at first, but once we got home, he was okay. At least I think he is. I hope he doesn't have any nightmares tonight."

"He'll be fine," Dawn says with a smile. "Children are resilient. They bounce right back. Isn't that what Mom always said?"

I smile through my tears and give her a little nod.

* * *

The next day at the Magic Box, Liam recounts last night's events for the umpteenth time. "You should have seen Mommy, Uncle Xander!"

"Oh yeah? And then what happened?"

"Then she brought out her stake and was like, 'You die now, vampire!' And then it exploded!"

"That's awesome!"

"And then another vampire smashed the window and started shaking the car. And then Spike came and grabbed him and threw him over the car! And then…"

Giles, who's sitting next to me, watches Liam as he imitates fighting moves. "He doesn't seem traumatized at all."

"…and Mommy did a flip in the air!"

"No. Thank god for that. I was so worried he would be. But no, he's fine. You know what he said to me this morning over breakfast? He said, 'Mommy, I didn't know you were a superhero.'"

"Well, in a way, you are."

"I don't feel like one. If I was, last night wouldn't have happened. If it hadn't been for Spike…I just keep thinking about what would have happened if he hadn't shown up when he did."

"They ambushed you, Buffy. It could have happened to anyone."

"I let my guard down. That's why it happened."

"Then you'll be ready next time."

"You know what terrifies me more than anything?"

"What's that?"

"It's that Liam isn't a secret anymore. They know about him. For years, I've kept him guarded, kept him tucked away and hidden from plain sight. Even when I was pregnant and we had Buffybot patrolling for me, the vamps didn't have a clue what was going on. But now they know, and have known for a while probably."

"It would be nearly impossible to keep him a secret forever though."

"I know. I was just sort of hoping that it would last a little bit longer." I stare at Giles, and voice the thought that was weighing on my mind. "What if someone comes after him?"

"Hey, Mommy!" Liam runs over to me, interrupting our conversation. "Can you do that flip again? That was so cool!"

I smile at Liam and smooth a hair that was sticking up on his head. "Maybe later, Liam. Mommy's still recovering from last night." I look to Giles and wince. "My head is pounding."

"Hey, Giles? Did you know my mommy could do that?"

He lets out a small laugh. "Of course. I was the one who trained her."


	57. Bon Voyage

**CHAPTER 57 - BON VOYAGE**

It sounded like a whisper at first.

" _Mommy?"_

I was in the middle of having some bizarre dream about my house somehow being physically connected to the high school when I heard the voice again, this time a little louder.

" _Mommy, wake up."_

Cat owners usually wake up to a cat in their face. Me on the other hand, I generally wake up to this. Cracking my eyes open slightly, I see Liam hovering just inches over me. I glance over at the clock on the nightstand, groaning at the early morning hour. "Liam, it's 6:30 in the morning. It's too early to get up, baby." I close my eyes again.

"But the sun's up so it's time to get up!"

I open my eyes again. Liam still hovers over me. "How in the world did two night owls have an early bird? You must get that gene from my mother."

Liam scrunches up his little nose in confusion. "What's that mean?"

"It means I like to sleep late and you get up way too early," I say, teasing him.

"Mommy, are you going to get up now?"

"Five more minutes, Liam."

Liam acquiesces, and instead of begging me to get up again, he gets under the covers and snuggles close to me. The stray cat Liam plays with, who we've officially adopted now, had been snoozing on the other side of the bed and looks annoyed at being disturbed. I'm fully awake now, and all too aware of what Liam is up to. As if on cue, he wraps his little arm around me and plants a kiss on my cheek.

"I love you, Mommy."

"Okay, what are you trying to butter me up for?"

Liam grins widely. "Can you make waffles?"

"Can I make waffles? No. Can I toast some frozen ones? Yes."

"Will you toast some frozen waffles? Please?"

I smile at Liam. "Yes. I'll toast some waffles for you."

"Yay!" Liam throws the covers off and hops out of bed. He runs out of the room with the cat on his heels.

I glance at the clock and groan again at the time. Six-thirty. Even though it's summer, even though it's the weekend, even though I don't have anywhere I need to go, I drag myself out of bed. And I better get a move on before Liam attempts to toast the waffles himself.

* * *

"I want more syrup!" Liam begs, reaching for the bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's in my hand.

"Liam, you have plenty of syrup on your plate already. Look at your waffles. They're practically drowning."

"But I want _more_ ," he begs again.

"Tell you what. When you use up all the syrup on your plate, I will give you more."

Liam immediately begin to soak his waffles in more of the sticky substance as I take the syrup into the kitchen. Two things I've learned you need to keep away from three-year-olds. Glue…and syrup. Otherwise it will be gone before you know it and more sticky than you can ever imagine.

The phone rings, and before I can answer it, I hear Dawn pick it up. She sticks her head in the kitchen seconds later, holding out the phone to me. "Buffy, it's for you. It's Giles."

I take the phone from my sister. "Hey Giles. What's up?"

"Buffy, I'd like to see you this morning. Do you think you'd be able to meet me at the shop? Say in a half hour?"

"Sure, I'll be there."

"What did Giles want?" Dawn asks when I go back to the dining room. Dawn apparently brought the syrup back to the table, and Liam happily squeezes some more on his plate. I just let it go. Sometimes you just have to pick your battles.

"He wants me to meet him for a training session in a half hour. Do you think you could watch Liam for a while?"

"Sure, no problem."

Liam looks up at the mention of his name. "Where you going, Mommy?"

"Just to see Giles. Listen, Liam, Auntie Dawn's in charge while I'm gone. Be a good boy and do everything she tells you. Can you do that?"

Liam nods. "I'll be good, Mommy."

I kiss Liam on his cheek, sticky with syrup, and seeing that Dawn has a handle on things, I excuse myself. "Alright, I'm going to go get changed."

* * *

Giles is looking in the weapons cabinet in the training room when I find him.

"Hey, Giles."

Giles looks over at me for a moment, then closes the door to the cabinet. "Buffy. Good, you're here."

"Wow, we haven't done one of these training sessions in a long time." I tug at the hem of my pants. "I found these old workout pants in the back of my closet. Can you believe they still fit me after having a baby? Thank god for elastic."

Giles looks me up and down, frowning. "Buffy, I didn't call you here for a training session today."

"Oh. But you said to meet you here. I thought…"

Giles shakes his head. "No. I called you because I wanted to talk to you."

"Okay. That sounds ominous."

Giles motions toward the bench by the wall and we have a seat.

"Is something wrong? Because you've got that serious look on your face."

"I uh, I've made a decision about something, and I thought you should be the first to know."

"Know what?"

"I've decided it's time for me to move back to England."

" _What_? But, Giles, you can't move to England! You're my watcher!"

"Buffy, I haven't been your watcher for a while."

"What are you talking about? Okay, yeah, we haven't done our training sessions in ages, but that doesn't mean I don't want to continue!"

"Buffy, it's not about our lack of training sessions. My job as a watcher is to guide you, to help you become a better slayer. I've taught you everything I can teach you. You've already lived longer than most slayers."

"Because I have _you_! Giles, does an Olympic medalist say they did it all on their own? No! They always credit their coach for pushing them further and helping them improve! You're like my coach. I couldn't have gotten this far without you."

"And I've taken you as far as I can."

"But, Giles, you can just up and leave! What if I need you? What if some big bad comes to Sunnydale and I don't know how to handle it? You're the one who's always calm in a crisis! You're the one we always go to when we need answers."

"Buffy, can you honesty remember the last time you needed my advice?"

I think back, and honestly, I can't. "Okay, so I haven't needed your help in a while, but that doesn't mean I won't someday. It's just that I've been a slayer long enough to know how the routine goes. I know the books to research and I know how to kill the enemies."

Giles smiles at me. "Exactly. My work here is done."

"Giles, that's not what I meant. I've always been a little independent. You know that. But that doesn't mean I don't still need you."

"I'll only be a phone call away."

"Yeah, but it's not like you'll be across town. You'll be an ocean away! A whole other continent away!"

"You'll be fine. I have no doubt that whatever situation comes up, you'll be able to handle it. Buffy, you've grown into an extraordinary young woman. You're a mother, and you're a leader, and quite frankly, one of the best slayers I've ever come across. I'm very proud of you. But it's time for you to be on your own now."

"Your mind is made up on this, isn't it?"

Giles nods.

"You must have been thinking about this for a while."

"I considered moving last year, but when your mother passed away, I knew then wasn't the right time. But now…well, it's time for me to move on to other things."

"But what about the magic shop?"

"Anya can run things. I have no doubt she'll be eager to be in control around here."

"I don't want you to go, Giles."

"This isn't goodbye forever, Buffy."

"Are you sure I can't convince you to stay?"

Giles nods, and I don't know what else to do except to throw my arms around him, hugging him tight as if I could keep him here if I just held on long enough.

Out of all the people that I could lose, I never thought Giles would be one of them.

* * *

The Magic Box seems eerily quiet when Liam, Dawn, and myself arrive. Tara had called, telling us we needed to come to the shop right away. She wouldn't say what was wrong, but I can't imagine it could be anything good.

At the counter, Tara and Anya appear to be studying something while Xander is arguing with them.

"But he wouldn't do that!"

"Well he did, Xander!" Anya shouts back. "It says so in his note!"

"Guys, what's going on?" I ask them.

"Hey, we're here," Willow announces, the bell ringing as she and Oz walk in.

Oz stares at us all for a moment before speaking. "And I'm guessing there's bad news."

Tara frowns, holding up a piece of stationary. "Anya and I found this note on the counter. Giles left for England already."

" _What_?" Willow says, voicing the surprise we all felt. "That can't be true! Giles wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to us!"

Xander snatches the note from Tara. "Let me see that!"

"What does it say?" I ask him.

"It says, 'I've gone. Not one for long good-byes. I thought it best to slip out quietly. Love to you all, Giles.'"

I walk over to Xander and glance at the paper. "It's his handwriting alright."

Dawn collapses in one of the chairs. "But Giles wasn't supposed to leave until next week! Why we would he just up and go?"

"Well you heard his note," Anya says. "He said he doesn't like long good-byes."

I feel a little tug on my shirt, and look down to see Liam's sad, confused look. "Mommy, why did Giles leave and not say goodbye?"

I place my arm over his shoulder, pulling him close to me. "Saying goodbye is hard for some people, Liam." _Me included._

Willow, with a determined look on her face, heads for the door. "Well I'm not letting him get away with this! There's a daily afternoon flight to LAX and I'll bet you anything that's the flight Giles is on! I'm going to the airport!"

"Me too!" Xander says, following her lead.

Dawn hops up from her seat. "Wait for me!"

"And me too!" Liam says, running after Dawn.

"Well I guess I'm going too," I say as I join the group.

Oz moves to the door, blocking us from leaving. "Wait! Who's all going?"

We all raise our hands.

Oz nods. "Alright, come on. My van's parked outside. I think we can all squeeze in."

* * *

It's probably frowned upon to run and shout inside an airport in a post 9/11 world, but the sight of that familiar tweed jacket about to head through the security gate spurs us on.

Liam, having the advantage of his youth, runs ahead of us all. He's also the loudest.

"GILES! WAIT!"

Giles turns around, staring at all eight of us running his way. He actually laughs, then puts down his bag as Liam throws his little arms around his legs.

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Did you really think we'd let you get away sneaking off like that?"

Giles smiles at us. "I was trying to avoid a scene really."

Willow moves forward, holding the large 'Bon Voyage' sign we hastily decorated on the way over, balloons and all. "Like we'd make a scene."

"Not you," Giles says quietly. "Me."

Anya steps forward, holding a packaged snack pie. "We brought you some lovely parting gifts. It's American. Get it? Apple pie? To remind you of all the good food you won't be eating."

Giles smiles, taking the pie. "Thank you, Anya."

Tara steps forward, holding out a small rubber toy in the shape of a monster. "And here's a monster, sort of a Sunnydale souvenir we thought. Liam and I picked that one out."

"It's a monster like in your books!" Liam says.

"Grr! Argh!" Tara says in her best monster imitation, handing it over to Giles.

Giles laughs. "Thank you."

"And I wanted to buy you a can of Olde English 800," Xander says, "'cause, you know, England, and you, and because at the time it sounded really funny. But I didn't have any cash on me and the guy who lives in the box in front of the store wouldn't buy it for me."

I dug into my own bag, reaching for what I had brought. "Here, Giles. I got a camera for you. It's one of those disposable type ones. We took some pictures of us on the way here. In some of them we're making goofy faces. On purpose by the way."

Giles takes the camera and smiles again. "I'll get this developed as soon as I get to England."

"There's still some more film on that roll," Willow says. "Take some pictures of England for us, okay?"

Giles nods. "I will."

Dawn steps forward, holding up a card. "We got your presents at the gas station. We were kind of in a hurry." She holds out a card and hands it to him. "We made this in the car. That's why the letters are all shaky."

We all look on anxiously as Giles opens the card and reads it. When he looks up, he straightens his glasses, and I swear I see a tear in his eye. "This is, uh…impossible, really."

"We're gonna miss you, man," Oz says.

"But we'll be okay," Willow quickly adds. "We'll miss you. A lot. But we'll be okay."

Giles glances at his watch, frowning as he realizes the time. He then looks up and gazes at us all. "Well, if we're going to do this, let's do it properly."

Giles steps over to Xander, and the two hold their hands out awkwardly for a moment, then give in and hug.

"Enjoy England, G-Man."

Giles laughs softly. "I think I'll miss hearing you call me that."

Anya stands next to Xander, and just as Giles pulls away, Anya grabs him and hugs him tightly. "I'll take really good care of your money. And your shop."

Giles laughs again. "I have no doubt you will."

Giles then hugs Tara, then Oz. When he looks at Dawn, a tear rolls down her cheek.

"Do you really have to go?"

Giles nods.

"We'll miss you!" she says, wrapping her arms around him.

Giles pulls away, giving Dawn a smile. "Be good to your sister, alright? She's only trying to look out for you."

Dawn nods. "I will."

Next to Dawn, Willow smiles at Giles, deciding on the no-tears send-off, but I can see she's fighting it, just like me.

"Willow. I don't know where to start."

Willow moves forward, wrapping her arms around him. "Well maybe you shouldn't." She lets him go, still fighting tears. "I'm trying to be stiff-upper-lippy."

"Right."

Giles then looks down, seeing Liam's sad, brown eyes staring up at him. He kneels down to Liam's level and pulls him in for a hug. "Be a good boy for your mother, alright?" I hear him whisper.

"Okay."

Giles pulls away and smiles at Liam. "I'll send you books from England. Would you like that?"

Liam nods.

"Alright." Giles stands to his feet and turns his attention to me. "Saying goodbye to you is the hardest goodbye of all."

"It's not goodbye, Giles. It's just 'see you later', right?"

Giles nods and pulls me into his arms. I bury my nose into his jacket, and I know I'm going to miss him even more than I thought I would. "Thank you for everything, Giles. Whenever I see tweed, I'll think of you."

Giles laughs as he lets me go. "If you ever need anything, you know I'm only a phone call away."

"I know. What if I just need to hear your voice?"

Giles smiles. "You can call me then too."

Willow taps him on the shoulder. "You should get going. Don't you have a life or something?"

"Well, I suppose that's the question really." Giles looks behind him, seeing a man about to walk through the security gates. "Excuse me?" he calls out to him.

"Yes?"

Giles holds out the camera. "Do you have time to snap a photograph with me and this group of people?"

The man nods, taking the camera. "Sure."

We all huddle together for the group shot with Giles in the middle.

"Cheese!" Liam says happily, and the man takes the picture.

"Thank you very much," Giles says, taking the camera back. The man gives us a nod, then heads on his way.

We all watch silently as Giles reaches for his bag. He puts it on his shoulder, then sighs as he gazes at us. "Well, I suppose I had better…" He nods toward the security gates behind him. "Do be careful. All of you. Please."

We nod, then watch as Giles makes his way toward the metal detector. He places his bag on the conveyor belt, walks through the gate, and retrieves his bag at the other end. Once on the other side, he waves at us, then disappears into the crowd.

* * *

As we leave the airport terminal, Liam takes my hand and leans against my arm. "Mommy, I miss Giles already."

"I know, baby. I miss him too."

"It's just not the same without him here," Dawn says.

"Yeah," Willow agrees. "I keep thinking how weird it's going to be to not see him at the Magic Box anymore."

"I'll miss seeing him clean his glasses when he gets nervous," Xander says.

"And organizing his dusty old book collection," Tara adds.

"He was always the one we'd go to in a crisis," Oz says.

Anya steps in front of us all. "You guys are all acting like Giles is dead! He's not really gone! He's just moving to England! It's not like we're never going to see him again."

Liam tugs on my arm. "Can we go visit him, Mommy?"

"Sure, we'll go visit him sometime."

"Can we go next weekend?"

I laugh softly. "No, sweetie. England is too far away for a quick visit."

"Not if you teleport," Anya says. "Of course, not that I can do that anymore."

We reach Oz's van and pile in. It's a tight fit with Liam sitting on my lap and Dawnie squeezed in the middle, but we manage.

As Oz leaves the short-term parking lot, we happen to see a plane on the tarmac preparing to take off.

Liam presses his little finger on the window. "Mommy, is that Giles' plane?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

Oz stops the van, and for a moment, we all gaze out the window, watching as the plane gains momentum and takes off into the air. I imagine that Giles is on the plane in a window seat, looking down and recognizing Oz's van. Maybe he's even waving.

Even though it's ridiculous since no one on the plane can see me, I find myself waving at the plane in the sky anyway. "See you later, Giles."

* * *

Not long after we say goodbye to Giles, I'm faced with yet another goodbye. Dawn.

We spend the morning helping Dawn move into the dorm. She, by sheer coincidence, has the exact same dorm room that Willow and I had. Liam got a kick out of seeing where his mom used to live. Her roommate seems like a nice girl too, which is a good thing. I hope Dawnie's freshman year starts off more smoothly than mine did.

The house is quiet without Dawn around. I guess I've grown used to the sound of her loud music and constant chattering on the phone. I peek into her room, half expecting to see her sitting at her desk, but she's gone. Her bedroom has never been cleaner, with the exception of the cat hair on the bed. Dawn hasn't been gone for twenty-four hours and already Toby has claimed her room as his own. He looks up at me lazily, then goes back to sleep.

I realize that it's a little _too_ quiet, which makes me wonder what Liam is up to. I head downstairs, half expecting to find Liam getting into something he shouldn't, but instead, he's sprawled out on the floor in front of the coffee table, engrossed in one of his father's books from the nearby shelf.

"Liam, I think that book's a little too advanced for you."

"Are these Daddy's books?"

"Yes, they are."

"Hey, Mommy, did you ever fight one of these?" Liam points to a crudely drawn sketch on the page.

I walk over to Liam and take a peek at what he's pointing at. Of all the irony…a Mohra demon.

"Yes, I have. Actually, both me and your daddy fought one. That's a Mohra demon."

"He's ugly! But he's got a cool ninja sword!" Liam sits up and moves his hand through the air as if he's holding an imaginary sword.

"Come here, Liam. I'll tell you a story about the Mohra demon."

I sit down on the couch and Liam gets up from the floor and cuddles next to me. He loves stories.

"Before you were born, back when your daddy was still a vampire, he lived in L.A. for a while. He ran a detective agency there. And one day, I went to go see him. And when I did, something crazy happened."

"What happened?"

"A Mohra demon, just like that one in the book, crashed through the window and attacked us. He cut your daddy on his hand. But he got away though, so your daddy and I decided to track him down. So we grabbed some weapons and headed for the sewers to chase him. We didn't know it at the time, but the Mohra's blood had regenerative properties."

Liam crinkles his little nose in confusion. "What's that?"

"It means like, to bring something back to life. And when your daddy got that cut on his hand, somehow his blood mixed with the Mohra's blood. And you know what?"

"What?"

"It was the Mohra's blood that made your daddy turn into a human. And if it hadn't been for that, you would have never been born."

"How come?"

"Because vampires can't have children, but humans can."

"Oh. Hey, Mommy, you should kill another one!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, and then we could use its blood to turn Spike into a human!"

I can't help but laugh at Liam's suggestion. "I don't think Spike would like that too much, Liam. I think he would miss having his vampire strength."

"Well we could ask him!"

"Okay, if the opportunity comes up, we'll ask him. Say, you know what I could go for now?"

"What?"

"Some cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip ice cream. Do you want some too?"

"Yeah!" Liam hops off the couch and races to the kitchen.

On my way out, I pick up the book still lying on the floor. I stare at the drawing of the Mohra demon, the memory of that day coming back to me.

"Mommy! You coming?"

"Be right there." I close the book and place it back on the shelf, then head to the kitchen to get some ice cream.


	58. Rescue, Pt 1

**CHAPTER 58 – RESCUE, PT. 1**

During the hottest part of the afternoon, Carter and myself are on guard when Carter spots a figure walking our way. He grabs his binoculars to get a closer look. "It appears to be an elderly man…with a cane."

I look through my own binoculars. "It's the Ancient One! We need to help him!"

Carter and I both rush over to the old man, meeting him halfway. He looks exhausted from his journey.

"Ancient One! Are you alright?"

The Ancient One nods. "A little tired and dehydrated."

"I'll get him some water!" Carter says and rushes off to find some.

"Let me help you. You must exhausted. Did you walk here the entire way? Where's Yang?"

"I'll tell you everything. But first, help me make it the rest of the way."

I pick up and carry the old man to a shaded area. Carter arrives with a cup of water for him and the old man drinks thirstily. When he's finished, he places the empty cup aside and stares at us. "Something terrible has happened."

"Is it Yang?" I guess.

The Ancient One nods. "Yang, and many others. Several nights ago, the Invaders stormed into our seaside village and rounded up everyone. I was only spared because Yang heard the commotion and made me hide."

"But Yang wasn't spared."

"No. He went to help, and he begged me to stay where I was. I waited until things were quiet. And when Yang did not return, I became alarmed and went outside. Our small little village was completely deserted. I was the only one left. Everyone gone. Children, adults, everyone."

"You don't know where they were taken?"

"I do not know, but my feeling is they were taken somewhere by boat."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because when I went to town to search for my grandson and the others, the district seemed abandoned too. Not even a guard near the barrier fence. The gate had been left wide open. And that's when I noticed that all of the ships by the docks were gone. Angel, I am afraid of what will become of my people. The Invaders are angry because we have disobeyed them."

"Don't worry. We'll find them all and bring them back." I look to Carter, who seems concerned for the elderly man. "Carter, take the Ancient One inside and get him settled. And find Roman and the others. Tell them what's going on. We have some planning to do."

* * *

"You think they've been taken to the compound?" Roman asks me later as a group of us gather to discuss strategy.

"I do. The Ancient One said all of the ships were gone. And they wouldn't need ships to take them to the Garden District, now would they?"

"So what do you propose?" Roman asks.

"Looks like we're going back to the compound."

I can see Grayer already about to protest, but I hold up a hand to stop him. "You don't have to come, Grayer. We're on heightened alert here anyway with the recent attack, and we need people to stay and protect the others. Think you can handle that?"

Grayer nods. "Of course I can handle that."

"Good."

"Angel, what's your plan?" Walker asks.

"I propose we take the Camaro and drive to the compound. We could take the boat, but I'd rather not keep it away from the villagers for too long. It's easier for them to fish than hunt. And since the Invaders have all the ships, we'll commandeer one and take the villagers back here. That is, of course, once we find and rescue them. And we need to leave…soon. Now, who wants to go with me?"

"I'll go, Angel," Walker says.

"I'll go too," Roman says.

"Alright. We'll leave this afternoon. If we hurry, we can get a few hours driving before we lose daylight."

* * *

Walker and I load the car while Roman gathers a few more supplies. I feel torn leaving the others to go on a rescue mission. If the Invaders should attack the underground bunkers, I know I will feel guilt at having left them when they needed me the most. But I feel confident leaving them in the hands of Brutus, Carter, Hornsby, and the many other men I have trained. Even Grayer.

For now, my focus should be on the missing villagers. A horrible feeling settles in the pit of my stomach. Why did they take them, and what are they doing to them? I had thought the missing villagers from the Forest District was unusual, but then again, they could have easily perished in a dragon attack. And true, probably some of them had, but what if they hadn't all died? What if they were taken from their homes from the Invaders, just like the Sea District villagers? Maybe they were taken to the Garden District to become slaves like the rest of them. In any case, I'm still convinced going to the compound is the right decision.

"Alright, I think we're ready to go," Walker says. "Just waiting on Roman."

As soon as Walker says his name, we see Roman appear with extra weapons and a large first aid kit Althea had prepared for our journey. I really hope we don't have to use that.

When we're all loaded in the Camaro, I start her up and head for the forest. The sun is in my eyes, so I pull down the visor and wish for my sunglasses back at home. But for now, the visor will have to do. We've got only a few hours before the sun sets, so we need to make the most of this driving time. I press down on the Camaro's accelerator.

* * *

Just before sunset, I park under a tree and cut off the engine.

"We're stopping now?" Walker asks from the back seat.

"Yeah. I say we find shelter while we still have a little light. Let's see if we can find a cave or something. If not, we'll stay in the car."

We all get out to stretch our legs. We split up but promise to meet back at the Camaro in twenty minutes. Between the three of us, we hope to find adequate shelter.

When we meet back up, Walker tells us he spotted a cave not far from where we're parked.

"It's pretty big," Walker says.

"Did you check it out thoroughly?" Roman asks. "If it's big, we could have company."

"I didn't see anything. Appears safe."

Neither Roman or I found adequate shelter, so we all follow Walker to the one he found.

When we arrive at the cave, I unload my gear and double-check for any threats. Even small ones, like spiders. After a spider was nearly the death of me, I kill any spider I find. But the cave seems harmless. I find the skeleton of what appears to have been a fox or some other small animal, but that's about it.

Roman starts a fire while Walker takes some food out of his bag. A few minutes later, we sit around the fire and eat our dinner as the wolves outside began their nightly howling. Once again, I'm reminded of the months I spent here in the forest. I reach for my axe on the ground, just in case.

"I'll stay awake," Roman announces as we begin to turn in. I start to protest, but realize Roman is right. I'm the only one who can drive. I'll need the rest.

Walker lays out his sleeping bag a few feet from mine. I watch him in the firelight as he stares up at the cave ceiling. I know he misses his wife and girls.

"I wish I could say this war would be over tomorrow," I say to him.

"I know. But with your help, Angel, it'll be over someday. Without your help…" He trails off, leaving his thought unfinished. But I know what he was going to say.

"I don't know how much help I've been."

"What are you talking about?"

"I should have done something more for those villagers. But the Ancient One was convinced they would be safe where they were. I should have known better."

"Angel, you couldn't have predicted what they would do."

"I just hope we can get to them in time, before something worse happens."

"Well, let's get some shut-eye. Tomorrow's a new day."

I nod, and turn around in my own sleeping bag. In my pocket, I feel the bulge of my wallet and start to reach for it until I remember that Buffy's picture is no longer in it. I don't know why I even carry the wallet anyway. Out of habit I suppose. I change my mind and reach for the wallet. I open it as if to make sure Buffy's picture isn't in there. It's not. Then I toss the beat-up wallet aside.

* * *

Sometime in the middle of the night, Walker and I are stirred awake by Roman's panicked voice.

"Dragon?" I ask.

Roman shakes his head. "No. Wolves. A whole pack of them."

Walker and I immediately grab our weapons. As Walker loads a crossbow, I move towards the cave entrance where Roman stands guard. Outside, about seven or eight pairs of yellow eyes stare right back at us.

"Keep absolutely still," I tell them. "Sudden movements will make them want to attack."

Our hunting group has encountered wolves in the forest before, but it's night now. And this is a large pack.

"Are you sure they won't attack anyway?" Walker whispers as he comes up behind Roman and I. "They look pretty hungry."

"No, they'll attack for sure. But you don't want them charging at us all at once. I encountered a similar pack like this when I was here in the forest. I charged at them with my weapon and they swarmed me."

"How did you get out?" Walker asks.

"I climbed up a tree. I stayed there for a day and a half before they finally gave up and left me alone."

"Shh," Roman says. "The one in the front. He's coming closer."

I see the wolf Roman is looking at and watch as his legs shift forward very slowly. "Okay, get ready. They're going to come at us no matter what. Walker's right. They're hungry."

"I'm going to take the one in the back out," Walker says.

"Can you make the shot?" Roman asks.

Walker doesn't answer, but aims his weapons and shoots the arrow. The wolf in the back topples to the ground with a yelp, causing the other wolves to turn their heads. In just a second, they'll turn back towards us and attack.

"Now!" I charge at one with my axe. The blade of my weapon sinks down into his neck. I hear another yelp of a wolf and see that Roman has killed or wounded another one with his sword.

When I turn back around, I see another hungry wolf coming my way. I swing at the wolf, but he dodges my weapon and bites down on the handle of my axe. He growls. He's not going to let go. But suddenly, he yips in pain and falls to the ground. I see an arrow buried into his side.

"Nice shot," I tell Walker as I turn my attention to yet another wolf.

Suddenly, Walker cries out. A wolf has him by the shoulder. Roman, with impeccable timing, relieves me of the wolf coming my way, and I run over to assist Walker. The wolf lets go of his grip when I hit him in the back. He's killed the second time I hit him.

"That's all of them," Roman yells, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Walker, how bad is it?"

Walker winces at his bloody shoulder. "I don't it's too deep, but it hurts like hell. I was reloading my crossbow. That's when he got me. I wasn't quick enough."

"I'll get the first aid kit." Roman goes back into the cave.

"Come on, let's get inside," I tell Walker. I help him back into the cave where Roman waits with the open first aid kit.

" _Nasty wound," I hear Buffy's voice say to me in my head, recalling a time Buffy bandaged me up._

" _It'll heal."_

Roman goes to work at applying towels to stop the bleeding. I stand by, handing Roman whatever he needs: extra towels, gauze, bandages. Finally, the bleeding has stopped and Walker's wound is bandaged tightly.

"Can you move your arm?" he asks Walker.

Walker moves his arm, but not without a wince. "Yeah, but it hurts."

"Angel, hand me that sling from the kit."

"I can't wear a sling," Walker says. "How can I shoot my crossbow if I'm wearing a sling?"

"You'll be handicapped anyway with your injury," Roman says as he helps Walker put the sling on. "Besides, you shouldn't move your shoulder too much. It'll hurt it more if you do and might cause the bleeding to start back up."

"Fine," Walker grumbles as Roman finishes tying the sling off. "And this is my good side too."

"It'll heal," I tell Walker.

"Sorry about this. I should have been quicker."

"Walker, don't blame yourself. We're all fighting. That means we're all going to get hurt sometimes. I can't tell you how many times Buffy had to bandage me up after a fight."

"Really? _You_?"

I laugh. "Yeah, even me. You're a warrior now. Get used to it."

Walker gives me a weak smile, then nods. "Let's just hope those wolves don't come back. Or a dragon."

* * *

At first light, we head out again, stopping only for short breaks or to eat. Our journey is uneventful, which is nice. Well, almost uneventful. Roman finds a couple of dragon eggs in a nest, which we promptly destroy. The mother dragon is nowhere in sight. Fine by me.

By the time the sun begins its descent toward the horizon, we stop again to find shelter for the night. No caves are in sight, so we have two options: camp out in the open, or sleep in the car.

"I vote sleep in the car," Walker says. "I'm not facing another wolf tonight."

Roman nods, and the decision is made. Once in the Camaro, I move my seat back as far as I can and try to stretch my legs. Roman does the same. We give Walker the entire back seat. With his shoulder still healing, he's uncomfortable enough.

"I'll keep watch," Walker says. "Mine turn anyway."

I lay my head back and try to relax. Somehow, I drift off to sleep.

* * *

"Angel, wake up," Walker shouts, shaking me awake.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I heard something. I think it's a dragon. Either that, or thunder. Not sure."

Roman, having been woken up by Walker's voice, sits upright.

I glance up at the sky, but it's clear. The stars are out tonight. "No, couldn't be thunder."

I hear it then…the familiar sound of a dragon walking through the forest. Like what I'd imagine a dinosaur roaming through the woods would sound like.

"We should go, like right now," Walker insists.

I'm already starting the car.

"Where is it?" Roman asks.

No sooner do I put my foot on the accelerator, the dragon pokes its head out from the branches of a tree. Mama Dragon, I imagine, and she's staring right at us.

"Too close for comfort is where she is," I say as I immediately put the car in reverse. As the dragon comes out from behind the tree, I put the car back in forward and drive around her.

"She's behind us!" Walker yells as the Camaro speeds through the woods. This is very dangerous as there are trees practically _everywhere,_ but it's either risk hitting a tree or being barbequed. I pick door number one.

"Drive faster, drive faster!" Walker pleads.

"I'm going as fast I can!"

A tree zips by us and another one turns to flames. Not only is she flying after us, but she's spitting fire. I glance at her in my rear view mirror. Objects are closer than they appear, right? Not good. She's practically on top of us.

As I'm driving, I hear Roman shuffling around Walker's arrow bags. "Walker, get one of your arrows and do something!"

"My arm is in a sling!"

"Try!"

"Uh, guys, no time for that!" Up ahead, I spot what looks like a hill, though it's hard to tell in the dark. At least, I think it's a hill. I hope it's a hill. If it's a cliff, we're toast.

"Why not?" Roman asks.

"HOLD ON!"

The Camaro barrels down an extremely bumpy hill. I'll take that over a cliff. I hear Walker cry out in pain because of his shoulder. Can't help that. We can't stop now.

After what seems like ten seconds of sheer terror, we reach the bottom of the hill and blessed flat land. I glance behind us and see no sign of the dragon. "I think we lost her."

We all take a moment to catch our breath. After a few moments, it appears that the dragon is indeed, gone. And now we can breathe a sigh of relief.

"That was a wild ride," Walker finally says.

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"Good idea taking this way," Roman says.

"Thanks, but going down the hill wasn't exactly planned. I'm just grateful it wasn't a steep drop-off."

"Uh, Angel?" Walker asks.

"Yeah?"

"How do we get back up the hill?"

I look up the steep hill and sigh. "I guess we'll have to find another way."

* * *

The rest of our journey is blessedly uneventful, with the exception of a sneaky bear that stole away with our food yesterday morning. But I'll take a bear over a dragon or wolf any day.

One afternoon after a stop to stretch our legs, fetch some water, and change Walker's bandages, Roman sees something up ahead.

"I think we're here. I think that's the compound."

I thought we were getting close, but we had taken a slightly different route this time so I wasn't for sure. Walker and I look to where Roman is pointing. Up ahead, we see the compound surrounded by what looks like an electrified fence.

"I'll be damned," I mutter. "They're trying to keep us out now. That fence wasn't there before. Let's go get a closer look." I look to Walker and his injured shoulder. "Walker, Roman has an extra sword. Why don't you take that one?"

"No, screw my injury." Walker winces as he takes the sling off. "I fighting with this crossbow. It's what I'm good at."

"Walker, your wound…" Roman starts.

"It's hurts less now. Besides, no pain, no gain, right?"

"Bring a sword anyway," I tell him, and Walker nods as he tucks the sword in his arrow bag.

The closer we get to the compound, the more trees we see. This is good. Trees give us cover, and we'll need it.

When we get to the fence, we all hear the humming of the electricity within. There's no doubt. The fence is on.

"So how are we going to get in?" Walker asks.

"Well, one of two ways. We go over, or we go under."

"It might take a while to dig a hole underneath the fence," Roman says. "And I have some rope that could help." He indicates the coiled rope at his side.

"Yes, but that's a tall fence," Walker says. "One fall from that height…"

"What do you think, Angel?" Roman asks. Clearly I'm the tie-breaker.

I study the height of the fence and location of nearby trees, then the ground below. "Well, if we need to evacuate anyone through this route, it'll be easier if they can go under the fence. Especially if there are children. And with Walker's injury, it might be easier on him too. So under it is."

Roman agrees, and the three of us set about looking for a place where the ground is soft enough to dig. Not to mention a place that's discreet and out of sight.

I test the dirt at one spot with the heel of my shoe. The dirt easily moves, and the ground even seems slightly damp. "Here. I think this spot will do."

With no shovels, we search for a few sharp rocks we can use to help us dig. Then, we set about digging a hole underneath the fence.

* * *

Crawling underneath the fence isn't as easy as it looks, and especially difficult for Walker and his shoulder, but we manage. Once on the other side, we place tree branches in front of the fence to cover up the gaping hole we've made. Though we hope this shaded area will be cover enough. A few well-placed bushes work in our favor too.

"Now what?" Walker asks.

"Now we go find the others. Come on, follow me."

The compound is large and heavily guarded. We keep out of sight by staying close to the fence, and keeping low when necessary. A reconnaissance job would probably be better done at nightfall, but people could be in danger. We need to move fast.

On the back side of the compound, I spot a window near some bushes. The wall of the compound juts out, which provides even more cover. And even better, I see no guards.

"We need to get inside."

"Through the window?" Walker asks.

"Yeah."

"But surely the glass breaking will alert—"

"Walker, I got it covered." I reach into my pocket and pull out the glass cutter Carter loaned to me. I knew it would come in handy.

Once the glass is cut, the three of us crawl through the window and end up in what appears to be someone's office. The investigator in me wants to snoop around. The other part of me knows we need to get a move on.

Suddenly, we hear voices outside the door. Roman points to a nearby closet, and the three of us scramble inside. Under normal circumstances, I'd fight. But this is a reconnaissance mission. First we find the kidnapped villagers. Then we take care of the rest.

"I don't think they're coming inside," Roman says after we've been stuck in the closet for several minutes.

"But they're still outside," Walker adds.

Quietly, I open the closet door and peer into the office. No one has been here. Walker and Roman stare at me as I put my ear to the door and listen. There are still voices outside, but I can't make out what anyone is saying.

"What now?" Walker asks.

"We may have to risk it, or find another way in." I look around the office, then an idea comes to me. "Or, I have a better idea."

Just over the desk on the ceiling is a large air vent. I climb on the desk and stand up. The ceiling is low enough, and I'm tall enough to reach it. I jimmy the vent cover loose until it pops off.

Roman smiles. "The air shaft. What a great idea."

"Come on, let's hurry before someone comes in."

I hoist myself and my weapon up the vent and crawl into the shaft. Walker is a bit shorter than me and needs a lift. He winces as I give him a hand.

"Sorry about your shoulder, man."

Walker shrugs. "It's okay."

Roman brings up the rear, then promptly covers the vent back up. Clever thinking.

The vent shaft is a tight space, but fortunately we can all squeeze through. The three of us crawl through the tunnels with me leading. We're all extra careful to not make any noises to alert the Invaders they have company.

Up ahead, I see a light coming from somewhere. When I get to the intersection in the tunnels, I realize it's a vent. And then, a noise catches my attention. I turn left to peer out of the vent. There's enough room for Roman and Walker to do the same, and they follow my lead.

Below us is a wide, open space. Astorians of all colors, blue, green, and a few pink, work below.

"What are they doing?" Roman whispers.

"Working," I answer. But what kind of work, we're not sure. It appears that it's some kind of assembly line. Though what they're assembling, I'm not sure.

"Bombs," Roman says. "I think they're making weapons to be used against their own people." Roman looks to me, concerned. "Angel, our people would never do that. Something, or someone is controlling them."

"Angel, look!" Walker gasps. "Over there!"

I don't need Walker to point it out for me. The blue glow emanating from it caught my eye already. It's the remaining blue crystal. "Well look at that. It _was_ here at the compound."

"But there's no magic," Roman says. "How can the blue crystal alone control them?"

"I don't think it's magic," I answer. "I think they're being hypnotized."

"How do you figure?" Roman asks.

"Because, certain blue crystals have hypnotic tendencies. My girlfriend told me that once. And also, I remember Cronus had a necklace with a blue crystal like that around his neck. He forced me to stare at it. For a brief moment, I thought I'd do anything he told me to do. Power of suggestion under hypnosis is what I figured afterwards."

Walker nudges me. "Hey, isn't that Yang over there?"

I look to where Walker indicates. Sure enough, it's Yang. "Yeah." I scan the crowd for a familiar face, and moments later, I see Kwan too.

"What's the plan, Angel?" Roman asks.

"Well, first things first. There's a guard over there. But I only see one guard."

"I would have expected more," Roman says.

"I guess they figure since they've got them under control, they can let their guard down. Plus, I'm sure the door is locked, and I'm willing to bet there's another guard outside. I bet this is the room we couldn't get into last time. Walker, how's your shoulder?"

"Hurts."

"That's what I thought. Hand me your crossbow. Let me take out the guard."

Walker doesn't argue, and struggles in the tight space for his crossbow and an arrow to give me.

In order to get a clean shot at the guard, I first need to remove the vent cover. Could be tricky. Not the removing part. All I really need to do is to give it a good push. But if the cover falls and makes a sound, there goes our element of surprise.

I grab on to the slats, which are big enough at least for my fingers to fit through. "Here goes nothing." I push on the cover hard, and seconds later, it pops up. And it couldn't have gone easier. The cover is attached by two hinges on the side of it. Piece of cake.

I set my sights on the guard, who is still oblivious to the fact that we are here. Taking him out will be easy…just as long as he doesn't move. When it looks like I have a clean shot, I release the arrow. Almost immediately after, the guard falls the floor. The arrow is lodged between his eyes.

"Roman, give me your rope."

Roman hands me the rope. "Are we planning to evacuate them all through this air shaft?"

"I don't know yet. We'll figure it out. But possibly."

There's a grappling hook attached to the end of the rope, which I then use to secure the rope to the top. Then, I carefully lower it down. "Walker, why don't you stay here? Make sure this rope stays secure."

"Sure, Angel."

"Let's hurry, Roman."

Roman and I head down the rope and immediately attempt to get someone's attention. But it's as if no one hears us. The Astorians continue with their assembly line work.

I nod toward the door. "Roman, watch my back. We don't want any company. I'm going to see if I can snap Yang out of this and find out what's going on."

While Roman moves closer to the door and stands guard, I run over to Yang.

"Yang? Yang!"

I shake him when he doesn't respond. His eyes are open, but they're not even focused. "Yang, come on, snap out of it!" I grab Yang's arms and stop him from the work that's keeping him busy. I expect him to come to, but he just continues to stand there with a blank expression on his face.

Reaching down, I pick up Yang and hoist him over my shoulder. I drag him to the corner of the room behind a piece of machinery and sit him down. "Yang!" I snap my fingers in front of that face, and when that doesn't work, I slap him on the face. "Yang!"

Yang blinks his eyes a few times, as if coming out of a sleep. His hand moves to his cheek where I had slapped him.

"Sorry, man. Didn't mean to hit you, but I couldn't think of any other way to snap you out of your trance."

"Angel? Where…where am I?"

"You don't remember?"

Yang shakes his head. He looks confused. "What happened? Where am I?" He looks alarmed now. I see he's looking over my shoulder. "Where are we?"

"We're at the compound of the Invaders. They've been using you and your fellow villagers as slave labor. Making bombs."

"What? We would never…" Yang stands up and gazes around the room. "We'd rather die than to make weapons that could harm those we love and care about."

"I'm pretty sure that you were all hypnotized. By the large blue crystal over there, no doubt."

Yang looks to where I point and his jaw drops. "The Crystal! The remaining blue crystal! It does have hypnotic abilities. Only hypnosis should be for good. Not for controlling people…"

"Look, we don't have much time. Guards could come at any moment. We need to find a way to snap these people out of their trances and get them out of here. Any ideas?"

"Yeah, one obvious one. Cover the crystal. If it's controlling them in some way, we need to stop it."

I look around for something…anything we can use. Then I spot it. "Over there. That tarp. Help me get it."

Yang and I reach for the tarp and hurry to cover the glowing crystal. Once covered, we watch as everyone around us gradually becomes aware of their surroundings.

"It's okay," Yang says, calming those who seem more than a little panicked.

"Yang, we need to get you all out of here. Where are the others? Do you remember?"

Yang shakes his head no, but Kwan steps forward. "I know where the others are. They're here in the compound."

"Do you think you can help us find them?" I ask Kwan.

"Yes."

"Alright, listen up." Everyone in the room gathers around me. "We came through the air shaft. We can exit that way."

"There's a ship," Kwan says. "That's how we arrived here. It's our best method of escape."

"I can lead them," Yang says. "I know a lot about boats…and where the ship is."

"Alright, anyone who wants to go with Yang, climb that rope up there and Walker will lead you out of this place. Anyone who wants to help find the others, come with me."

"What about the Crystal?" one of the Astorians asks.

"We can't take it with us right now, but we know where it is. Don't worry. We'll come back for it."

The man seems satisfied with this answer, then heads for the rope. Another one kicks the dead Invader that has been forgotten before joining Roman at the door.

I notice about half the Astorians decide to escape, but the other half are just as anxious to find the others. I figure most of them have wives, mothers, and children they're worried about. Understandable. If Buffy were among them, I'd be anxious to get to her too.

* * *

I can understand why Yang could not remember where the others were. The compound hallways are literally a maze with one turn after another. Even though I've been here before, this area is new to me.

"I'll move to the back of group," Roman whispers to me. "I'll make sure we're not being followed."

I nod and watch as he slips to the back of the group.

We encounter a few Invaders along the way, but with so many of us, they are outnumbered. We have to be careful though as there are many more inside. And we have to make sure every guard we encounter doesn't get away. The last thing we need is for Cronus and his lackeys to know his prisoners have escaped.

Kwan stops at the end of the hallway and peeks around the corner. He turns back to me. "One guard."

I hold up my axe. "Lead me to him."

"Please, let me," Kwan asks, eying my axe.

I smile at him and hand him the axe. "He's all yours."

The guard is impossible to sneak up on since he's facing us, so instead, we charge at him. Kwan makes what sounds like a war cry as he runs toward the guard. The guard immediately draws his weapon. He's defenseless though, to our stampede. As the guard is pushed against the wall, Kwan delivers the death blow.

The door the guard was watching is locked of course. I rifle around the dead guard's pocket for a key and find one. Once inside, we encounter a long row of prison cells on each side of the wall. Inside the cell, bunk beds are lined up against the wall. No mattresses. Just hard, solid wood for a bed.

The right cells are empty, but on the left side, I see a group of women. Most of them are older, but a few are younger. And I also notice a few young children, which sickens me. No one innocent should be locked up, but especially children.

"Angel!"

I turn toward the voice and immediately recognize Suki.

"Suki, we're going to get you all out of here."

The old woman beams at me through the bars. "My hero once again!"

I stick the key into the lock and try to make it open, but the key doesn't appear to work.

"That's not the right key," Suki informs me.

"This is the only key I have."

"Move aside," Kwan says. He's still got my axe, and I watch as he raises the weapon and brings it down on the door. The lock falls off and the door pops open.

"This isn't everybody," one of the men says. "My wife isn't here."

I turn to Kwan and Suki. "Where are the others?"

"Other parts of the compound," Kwan replies. "My wife was assigned to cleaning duty."

"And my wife works the kitchen," says one of the other men.

I feel a tug on my shirt and look down to see a green-faced little girl not much younger than Serena. "Are you here to rescue us?"

"Yeah, sweetie. I'm here to rescue you." I look up at the group of people staring at me. "And we're going to make sure everyone is accounted for. Kwan, where do you suggest we look?"

"Down the hall and to the left."

"Alright then, we've got no time to waste. Let's find them."


	59. Rescue, Pt 2

**CHAPTER 59 – RESCUE, PT 2**

At the end of the hallway are two closed double doors. I place my hand on the handle and slowly open it as to not make any sound. I peek out the crack, and from there, I see what looks like a restaurant. And many, many Invaders.

The Astorians are among them, obviously forced to be their servants. One green-faced woman's hands are shaking as she delivers food to a table of Invaders. The tray wobbles in her arms and the food spills onto the floor. The Invader jumps up and shouts a few obscenities as the poor woman gets down on her knees to clean up the mess.

"What do you see?" Suki asks me. She tries to see out the door, but I close it before she can get a look.

"A restaurant. And it's crowded."

"A restaurant? We never enjoyed a meal in a restaurant!" she harrumphs.

"Angel," Roman whispers as he rushes over to me.

"What is it?"

"There's a window. It's in a small room off to the side down the corridor we just passed. I can get these people out."

"Good. Take the women and children. And anyone else who wants to go."

Suki leans over to me. "I want to stay and watch Mr. Kwan smash one with that giant axe he's holding."

I can't help but crack a smile. She's a feisty old lady. "Please, Suki, go with Roman. I want you far away from here where it's safer."

Suki relents, and I breathe a sigh of relief once she and the children are gone. Only a handful of the men joined them. The rest of the men look to me, waiting on instruction on what to do. Ironically, these are men I haven't trained, and yet, they all seem willing to fight. Every one of these men has their own Buffy on the other side of this door. If I can't be with my Buffy, I'm sure as hell going to make sure they get to be with theirs.

"Alright, we have an advantage," I tell the men. "Looks like most of them are settling in for the dinner hour. That means they'll be vulnerable and otherwise not expecting an attack. Kwan, are you prepared to use that axe some more?"

Kwan just gives me a bloodthirsty grin. His grip on the axe is tight.

"I'll take that as a yes. The rest of you, fight off the enemy as much as you can. We have strength in numbers. But our main goal is to rescue the women. There are some out on the floor and I'm sure the kitchen is nearby with more. Is everyone clear on what they need to do?"

One of the men raises a hand. "My wife tells me there is a door leading outside in the kitchen, though it is guarded so she's never been able to escape."

"Even better. We've got escape route then. Is everyone ready?"

The men all nod.

"Let's do it then."

I open the door again, but this time, I'm not worried about being quiet. Kwan races ahead of me and charges toward the first table. I watch with satisfaction as Kwan beheads the Invader who yelled at the woman.

I run to another table and yank one of the Invaders out of his chair. He's not expecting me, and I use the opportunity to snap his neck. I only have a second of respite before I feel one of them behind me. He's angry, but I'm angrier. I punch the demon in the face, knocking him back.

Nearby, I see the trembling young waitress standing against the wall, apparently shell-shocked.

"Run!" I tell her, pointing toward what I can now see is the kitchen.

She nods and runs away.

Kwan is already making his way to the kitchen, and I see blood splattering against the wall seconds later. I turn my attention back to the dining area. Some of the tables are overturned and food and dishes are scattered everywhere on the floor. One of the Astorians charges toward an Invader with a candlestick in his hand. I like the weapon improvisation, so I grab a candlestick of my own and proceed to smash a female Invader's head.

Another female charges at me. She literally hisses at me. I would laugh, except I'm too busy planning to kill her. She falls to the floor moments later.

"Angel!" cries one of them men.

I look to see one of the Astorians struggling against an Invader twice his size. He's been cornered against the wall, and I use the candlestick to hit him from behind. The demon falls to the ground.

"Beat them off with this," I tell him, handing him the candlestick.

I feel a blow to my back and wince as I realize an Invader has caught me off guard. I spin around and kick him back. He aims to charge at me again, but his face collides with my elbow. As he loses his balance, I deliver another kick to him. He falls to the floor.

Kwan is back. The blade of my axe in his hands is bright red. He finishes the Invader off by burying the axe in his chest. He grins at me, then runs off to fight another one. I silently hope Kwan will give me my axe back when this is all over. It is my favorite.

From the corner of my eye, I see a group of women and a few of the men standing at the entrance to the kitchen. I take a look at our surroundings and survey the damage. Every Invader is now either dead, or at least too hurt to move, and I think our work here is done.

Across the room, I see Kwan repeatedly hitting an Invader with the axe. "Kwan! He's dead! Let's move!"

Kwan snaps back to attention and nods.

The kitchen is almost as much as a disaster as the dining area. Food, silverware, and smashed glass litter the floor. Blood is on the floor too and a pair of dead demons lie slumped against the wall. I quickly usher everyone out the back door.

"We have to go back inside," Kwan tells me once we are outside.

"You want to kill some more?" I ask him with a grin. "Hell, I'm game."

"No, we haven't rescued all the women, my Naomi included."

"She wasn't in there?"

Kwan shakes his head no.

"My wife and daughter were not there either," says one of the men. "I think I know where they are though."

"Where?"

He points up. "The upper floors. They clean the bedrooms."

"Oh damn, how many bedrooms are there?"

He doesn't have to answer my question. I already know the answer is a lot.

* * *

We all head to the boat to regroup. After the dinner slaughter, it won't be long before Cronus discovers the compound has had company.

"We're not going to leave them, are we?" asks one of the men.

"No, I told you we weren't going to leave until everyone was accounted for. We just have to tread lightly."

"How about we enter the upper floors from the outside?" Roman suggests.

"What's your plan, Roman?" I ask.

Roman holds up the rope we used earlier. "There are several balconies in the back. I saw them earlier. We hook the rope to one of the balconies and climb up."

"I like that plan. So who are we still missing?"

* * *

Six women are still unaccounted for. Three wives and three daughters.

Kwan, Roman, and myself head back to the compound along with three of the other men. We leave Walker and the others in charge of keeping guard. Once the Invaders find out the prisoners are missing, the boat will be the first place they'll look for them. This means we must work fast to save the remaining few.

There are five balconies in the rear of the compound. They all face have a beautiful view of the ocean. I imagine the occupants of those rooms must be important members. The biggest balcony I'm willing to bet belongs to Cronus.

I hook the rope to the smaller corner balcony, and once secure, begin to climb up the building. As the other men take their turns climbing up the rope, I try to figure out how we'll get inside. There's a sliding glass door, and I peek inside to see exactly what I hoped to see: an empty bedroom. It's not that I don't want to seek out every Invader and punch him to death, but now is not the time.

The sliding glass door is locked, which is not surprising considering the security measures, but these doors are easy for an intruder like me. Within minutes, I'm inside.

The room is bright with the late afternoon sun, and it's neat as a pin. I motion the men to follow me as I head toward the door. Outside the bedroom is a long hallway lined with many doors like a hotel. It appears the coast is clear, but surely there has to be a guard up here.

And then, I see him. He's standing behind a wall around the corner leading to another hallway. This one should be easy to take care of. He won't be suspecting us. I nod my head toward the guard and put a finger to my lip. I got this handled.

Reaching into my pocket, I pull out one of my secondary weapons: a small knife. In my days as a vampire, I became very skilled at sneaking up on my enemies. I'm still pretty good at this. When I get close to the guard, I grab hold of him and slit his throat before he even knows what's happening.

Problem solved.

We don't see any more guards in the vicinity, so we split up to cover more ground. I make my way into one of the empty bedrooms and look around. The light is on and I see a few cleaning products scattered around the room, but it looks empty. I'm about to leave and move on to the next room when I hear something. It sounds like a girl crying. I follow the sounds to a closed door. When I open it, a pink-haired girl with a tear-streaked face stares up at me. She's a few years older than Andromeda. Still a kid really.

She seems surprised to see me, as if she was expecting me to be someone else. She's quiet, and I figure she's too stunned to speak.

"You're okay," I tell her. "Come on, I'm here to get you out of here."

I give the girl my hand, and she grasps it tightly.

"What's your name?"

"Jing-mei. My mother?"

"Is she here?"

She shrugs. "I don't know where she is. She was punished for not cleaning properly. He yelled at her."

"Well if she's here, we'll find her. Come on."

She continues her tight grip on my hand, as if I'm her lifeline, as we exit the room.

"And my papa?"

"He's fine too. He's looking for you."

The girl looks at me, confused. "He is?"

"Yes. Come on, and let's be quiet, okay?"

The girl nods and we head down the hall.

Down another hallway, I spot a room with the door cracked. A laundry cart is sitting just outside. I race past the other rooms and head straight for this one. Inside, I spot two teenage girls making a bed. Not unlike Jing-mei, they seem surprised to see me, and relieved too I think.

"He's here to rescue us," Jing-mei tells the girls.

"Come on, hurry," and the girls drop the linens and follow me out of the room.

The other rooms down the hall turn up empty, but that doesn't necessary mean anything. This floor has many rooms and corridors. Hopefully the other men have turned up something.

Roman, Kwan, and the others arrive back to our meeting place at the same time as I do. The girls reunite with their fathers, and one of the men has reunited with his wife. But Jing-mei's mother and Naomi, Kwan's wife, are still missing.

"We should get them to the boat with the others," I tell the men.

"I'm staying here," Kwan says.

"I'll go with them," Roman offers. He grips his weapon tightly. "We might have trouble on the way."

Jing-mei's father seems to struggle with a decision. "But my wife…"

"I'll find your wife. You take care of your daughter.

He reluctantly agrees, and Kwan and I watch as he follows his daughter out to the balcony.

"Roman?"

Roman, who is standing at the glass door, turns around. "Yes?"

"If you get into trouble and they get to the boat before we do, don't hesitate to leave. Just come back for us, alright?"

Roman nods, then turns to leave.

Once I see the group has made it down to the ground level without incident, I turn to Kwan. "Have we searched all of the rooms on this floor?" I ask Kwan.

"I think so, but I cannot be sure."

"Here's what we're going to do then. We're going to search this entire building floor by floor. I promise you Kwan, we won't leave without finding her."

Kwan nods. "I appreciate everything you've done to help us."

"Come on, we've got no time to waste."

* * *

After a thorough search of the top level, Kwan and I search the next floor. It appears to be another floor comprised of hallways and bedrooms, much like a hotel. The rooms though, however, are a bit smaller, and there are more of them.

The floor is quiet, and it appears no one is here. Or perhaps some of these rooms have no occupants yet.

"Angel."

I turn to see Kwan pointing to a door. "This door is locked."

The door has a window, and I peek through it. "It appears to be a stairwell, but why would it be locked?"

"That's why I thought it was suspicious."

"Stand back," Kwan tells me. He looks around, as if making sure no one else is around, then slams the axe into the doorknob. The door pops open.

"Nice job. I was going to use my bobby pin," I tell him.

Kwan just grins.

As Kwan and I head down the stairs, I notice how clean the steps appear. The other stairwells in the building weren't nearly as clean. It's almost as if this stairwell doesn't get as much use as the others ones, which would make sense if it was locked. But why would they want to keep people out?

After several flights down, we arrive at a door. Kwan raises the axe again, but I put up my hand to halt him. I grab the door handle and open the door. "It's not locked," I say to him.

Behind the door lies a massive room. There are several fireplaces and candles, which give the room light. The room looks familiar. I've been here before.

"Follow me," I whisper to Kwan as I lead us into the room. There are two large potted plants near the wall, and I crouch down behind one of them. Kwan does the same.

From my vantage point, I can see Cronus sitting at his throne eating from a bowl of grapes. His feet are propped up and he appears to be relaxed. Beside him, a pink-haired woman fans him while a woman with green hair refills his glass of water.

"Naomi," Kwan whispers.

"Is she the green-haired one?"

Kwan nods.

Cronus takes a sip of the water, then suddenly throws it across the room. The glass hits the wall and shatters upon impact. "This water isn't cold!" he yells, as if throwing a tantrum. "And you!" he turns to the fanning girl. "Faster! You're just moving hot air around!"

The woman moves the fan at a faster pace, though I can tell her arms are probably tired. Perhaps if he didn't have all of the fires going around here, he wouldn't be so warm. I can almost hear Buffy in my mind making a pun about that.

"I'll kill him," Kwan seethes.

I spare a glance at Kwan, seeing the vein in his forehead bulging. "Not if I kill him first."

"Ambush him?" Kwan asks.

Before I can answer, an alarm starts to sound. Moments later, an Invader guard rushes into the room.

"Cronus! The prisoners! They've escaped!"

" _What?"_ Cronus demands as he stands up. He pushes the table in front of him over, spilling the pitcher of water and sending the bowl of grapes tumbling.

"We think it was Angel," the guard says in a disgusted tone.

"I see my reputation proceeds me," I announce as I come out from my hiding spot.

"Guards!" Cronus yells.

From seemingly out of nowhere, three guards appear. Now there are four guards and one Cronus. Not odds I like, but not impossible either. The guards charge at us with their swords.

The first guard thinks he has the jump on me because he thinks I don't have a weapon. But I do: my hands. Grabbing the hand the guard holds his sword with, I manage to twist him in an uncomfortable way. His weapons drops to the floor seconds later. Now that it's a fair fight, I punch him in the face, sending him reeling back.

I feel another one close by, and without even looking, spin around and kick him back. The guard stumbles backwards and against the corner of a table.

As the second guard gets his bearings, I return to the first one. I grab his sword from the floor before he does. He ducks when I swing the sword at him. He doesn't, however, see Kwan standing behind him. Kwan buries the axe into his back.

I turn my attention back to the guard who tried to sneak up behind me. He's on his feet again and about to attack again. We spar for a moment or two with our swords.

"Kwan!" Naomi screams.

I glance over the guard's shoulder, seeing a few more guards materialize. A couple of them are attempting to drag Naomi and the other woman away.

Kwan rushes over to assist while I focus on the other guard. I dodge the blade of his sword and send my weapon forward, slashing his abdomen. The guard backs off, and just when I think I've got a handle on the situation, I turn to see about thirty guards rushing into the room.

 _Damn._

I have no doubt in my abilities as a fighter, but I know my limits. There's no way I can take on this many at once.

"Angel, let's go!" Kwan yells.

I agree, and I'm right behind him. But just as I turn to follow him, I feel a familiar prick in the back of my neck.

Reaching for the itchy spot, I yank a dart out of my neck.

 _Damn._

I feel myself getting weaker, woozy, until finally, I stumble to the ground. Then everything turns to black…

* * *

When I regain consciousness, I see a few stars dotting a purple and blue sky. It feels as if I'm rocking back and forth, like I'm on…a boat?

I feel groggy when I move to sit up, and an itch on the back of my neck reminds me that I was hit by a tranquilizer dart.

"You're awake," I hear Kwan say.

Kwan moves to sit next to me. Beside him, I then see Roman come into view.

"Are you alright, Angel?" Roman asks me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just don't remember what happened. How did I get here?"

"I rescued you, my friend," Kwan says.

"I was getting worried when you two did not return right away," Roman tells me. "So I decided to go see if you needed help. And then I heard the alarm and knew something had gone wrong."

"There were so many of them. They came out of nowhere."

"In the confusion, Naomi and Jin-Su were able to escape," Roman says. "I found them and led them to the boat. I was about to come back when Kwan arrived with you slung over his shoulder. I helped Kwan get you on the boat, and then we got away."

"How did you get away from them?" I ask Kwan.

Kwan shrugs. "Just lucky."

"Well thanks, man."

Kwan smiles, then leans forward. "Don't worry, I didn't leave your favorite weapon behind." He holds up the axe, then hands it to me.

I smile back at him. "Glad to hear it."

"So, now that the remaining crystal has been located, what now, Angel?" Roman asks.

"Now, we get ready to end this war."

* * *

There is much joy and jubilation when we return. The bunkers are filled to their capacity now that many of the Sea District Astorians have joined us underground. No one complains though, because we know this situation is only temporary.

The boat, or ship rather, is a more efficient means of travel and gets us back to the Mountain District. It's not ideal, as we must travel a ways on foot to get back home once we dock, but taking the boat back to the Sea District is more of a risk. It would be the first place the Invaders would expect us.

Once again, it's standing room only in the commons area as I lay out our plan to finally defeat the Invaders. I have to repeat my speech to three groups of people because everyone can't fit in this one room. I don't mind this though. I'm glad there are now enough people to take on the Invaders. I wanted an army. I finally have one. With news that the location of the remaining Crystal has been found, many are eager to actually fight for their freedom.

As I wrap up my speech for the third time, the Ancient One walks over to me. He leans heavily on his cane, but the smile on his face tells me his knee pain barely registers.

"I have every confidence that you'll help us win this fight," he says.

"And we'll send those Invaders to a hell dimension!" one of the Astorians in the back shouts.

This statement is followed by a round of cheers and applause.


	60. D-Day

**CHAPTER 60 - D DAY**

I stand over the railing of the ship and look up at the clouds above. The early morning sky is overcast on D-Day. That's what I've started calling it. D-Day. But I don't just want this to be a battle. I'm hoping it'll be the end of the war.

I feel someone watching me, then turn to see Roman. He moves closer to stand beside me. "Looks like rain."

"Yeah."

"I don't know if that's a good sign."

"It'll make things difficult, yes, but I think it could work in our favor." I turn to Roman and smile at him. "Would you expect to be attacked in the pouring rain?"

Roman thinks about it, then nods. "Perhaps the weather could work to our advantage."

"Plus with it being overcast, it'll be harder for them to see us coming."

We're silent for a moment, and I watch the waves crash upon the ship as we sail around the island of Astoria. We'll be at the compound very soon.

"Not much longer," Roman says.

"Are you ready?"

Roman smiles. "Yes, I'm ready. I don't feel I could have said that four years ago. Or any of the other men. Without your help, Angel, we would never know how to fight back."

"Don't sell yourself short, Roman. I always thought you were a natural fighter, even if you didn't feel that way in the beginning. But I'm happy to have helped nonetheless."

Brutus walks over to where we're standing and gives me a nod. "Yang wanted me to tell you we're almost there."

"Okay, then we need to get ready."

The ship will be anchored out of sight from the compound. We'll have to use smaller boats to get to shore. Then, we'll have to climb the cliffs to get to the top. I wish I had thought of adding rock climbing to our fighting skills. Would have come in handy, I suppose. But too late now. I just have to hope that the Astorians can hold their own.

Once we get to the top, the compound will be in sight. Everyone knows their role. One team will retrieve, and assemble, the Crystal. Other teams will provide backup. A few groups will storm the castle, quite literally, and take out as many Invaders as possible. And someone will take out Cronus, the leader of the Invaders. That someone is going to be me. Plus anyone else who gets in my way, but that goes without saying.

I watch as several men begin to unload boats into the water. One boat has a wooden raft attached to it with the green and pink crystals. The plan is to retrieve the blue crystal and assemble it over the water. Hours had been spent strategizing over the best way to retrieve and assemble the three crystals. In the end, the Astorians thought it would be best to assemble as quickly as possible, and to bring the remaining crystal to the boat. Lowering the crystal down a cliff would be a lot easier than trying to bring the two other crystals up.

From the lower deck, Althea emerges and strides over to us. No one wants to say it, but there's always the possibility that someone will get hurt. We might need her. Althea is, as she once told me, the only hospital we have.

"Just wanted to wish you good luck," she says to us. "And be safe."

"I promise to come back in one piece," Roman says with a smile.

Althea, however, doesn't return his smile. "You can't promise that."

Roman's expression turns serious. "Of course not. But I can promise you that I will try."

"I'll be his backup," I tell Althea as I give Roman a pat on the back.

"Angel!" a voice calls from somewhere on the boat. "We're ready!"

"Well, time to go."

I say goodbye to Althea, then leave to let Roman say goodbye to her privately. The scene makes me think of every time I said goodbye to Buffy to fight something that I thought was too dangerous for her, even if it was dangerous for me too. Rather me than her. I don't think I ever won that argument. Seems like she always ignored me and tagged along anyway.

At the other end of the ship, the men I have trained are all gathered. I glance at the familiar blue and green faces before me. I trained these men to be fighters. Before I came, none of them had confidence in their abilities to take the Invaders on. I changed that. And now, the time has come.

I give them all a pep talk, like a coach to a ball team. Some of them look nervous. Understandable. But all of them are ready. And when I remind them of the end that is almost in sight, they all cheer.

Shortly after, we load into the small boats, weapons in tow, and head for the shore to fight a battle. It really does feel like D-Day.

As we row to shore, Walker, who sits next to me, looks up at the sky and frowns. "I just felt a raindrop."

"So it rains. I'm not letting that stop me. Are you?"

Walker looks away from the sky and gives me a smile. "Nope, not a chance. I'm ready."

Despite my worries about the Astorians making their way up the cliff, I find I needn't have worried about it at all. They're all quite agile men, and climbing a cliff is nothing. When we finally make it to the top, we must walk to the compound. It's not a far walk, but far enough so that we'll at least be able to assess the situation before our attack.

On my team are Roman, Walker, and Carter. Brutus is on the Crystal retrieving mission. I knew his strength would come in handy. Kwan is leading a team to enter the west side of the compound. Hornsby leads a team to attack the east. Neville, Graham, and Conan help with backup along with many others. I can't remember the names of all the men, but I know they're all ready.

A fine drizzle starts as my team reaches the front of the compound. First order of duty: take out the guards.

Of course they are patrolling the compound despite the rain. And right away, we encounter two of them. With no preamble, I simply charge at them and take them by surprise. One is dead. The other falls down next to him thanks to Roman's sword.

Two more guards emerge from out behind a wall. Evidently they heard the commotion. Fortunately, they're not alive long enough to sound any alarms. Carter kills one with his axe and Roman takes care of the other. Meanwhile, I use my axe to crash through the heavy wooden door.

Once we reach the inside of the compound, I'm eager to find Cronus. From somewhere, we hear an alarm going off. They know we're here now. Just as I'm thinking this, a crowd of guards run into the foyer.

Walker, with his crossbow already loaded, plucks one guard off. My axe takes care of another one. The number of Invaders though is alarming to me. It's too many for the four of us to handle on our own. But like an answer to a prayer, I hear the sounds of many Astorians charging through the door behind us. They are our backup, and they all have weapons.

I stand back for just a brief moment and watch the men that I trained actually...fighting. And not just Roman and Walker and Carter, but men who were _reluctant_ to pick up a weapon in the first place.

Though I'm proud, I don't have time to relish the small victory, as we still have to finish this last battle before I can feel completely satisfied. Another guard charges my way, and the blade of my axe slams into his forehead before he can even utter a word.

* * *

Several of the men and myself make it to the back. I'm still in search of Cronus. I'm confident I'll find him nearby seeing as how I just passed his throne. And also, the number of guards is telling. Of course he has bodyguards. But once his bodyguards are dead, he'll have no place to hide.

After fighting and killing off several guards, I finally spot Cronus in the back corner. He grabs a sword from the wall. He looks directly at me, smiles, then runs in the other direction. I run after him, get distracted by a guard trying to attack me, then dodge the tranquilizer dart he shoots at me. Lord no I can't be hit by one of those things right now.

I slam my axe down on the Invader's arm, knocking the gun to the floor. Now that he's unarmed, I take him out swiftly.

When I turn back to chase Cronus, I see his retreating form going out the window. No, he's not going to get away that easily. Seeing that the others have a handle on things, I follow Cronus out the window.

Outside, the rain has turned from a steady drizzle to a steady downpour. My shirt is already plastered to my skin. I see Cronus running down the path.

"Scared, Cronus?" I mock as I take off after him.

He's surprisingly fast, and I wonder where he's going. It's then I realize he's running toward the cliffs. At first, I think he's got a death wish, but he stops short of going over and turns around, actually grinning at me, and I know his actions are on purpose. At the bottom of the cliff are several jagged rocks. Below, I can hear the waves crash violently against the wall of the cliff. A fall from this height, and on those sharp rocks, would be almost certain death. Cronus wants to send me overboard.

Not if I have anything to say about it.

"Well, looks like it's just you and me," Cronus says with a smirk.

I shrug. "Me and you."

Cronus makes the first move and charges at me with his sword. I duck to avoid the blade, then use my axe to block the sword as Cronus takes another swing.

It's raining harder now, making it hard to see. The ground has turned into a slippery, muddy mess. I use this to my advantage as I back Cronus into a puddle. He falters for a moment before regaining his balance. I take a swing at him again, but he ducks and I miss him.

I take another swing at Cronus, but he dodges my blade and moves around me in a circle. I feel the blade of his sword sting my leg. When I take another hit at him, Cronus moves again. I realize what he's doing. He knows he can't fight me. His only hope of winning this battle is to knock me off the cliff. And that's exactly what his plan is, because now, he's circled himself around so that he's in position to do just that.

I aim to move around him so that my back isn't to the cliff, but Cronus keeps attacking. I swing my axe and hit on the side, but it's not enough to halt him from fighting. He's relentless and not giving up just yet.

Cronus swings at me with his sword and manages to hit my hip. The sting is not fatal, but it's enough to make me momentarily lose my focus. Cronus advances forward, and I realize with dread that I've gotten too close for comfort to the edge of the cliff.

I swing my axe at Cronus again. This time, I hit him in the side, and he's knocked down. I try to go after him, but the mud has made things too slippery. Before I can get to him, Cronus is back on his feet, undeterred by his bleeding wound.

Cronus holds his sword up high and takes aim for me again. The rain, falling harder, pelts my face with big drops and makes my vision blurry. I dodge his sword, but too late to miss it. I feel another sting, this time on my arm.

Cronus swings again. This time, I dodge his blade. The mud is slippery though, and I feel my feet lose their grip on the sodden ground. I glance down at the bottom of the cliff again. If I fall, I won't survive. There are too many rocks below.

Instead of using his sword, Cronus suddenly changes his maneuver and raises his knee. I feel the kick to my stomach before I can move out of the way, and suddenly, I'm falling.

Time moves in slow motion. It's true what they say about seeing your life flash before your eyes moments before you die. I think about everything all at once. But mostly, I think of Buffy. I'm never going to see her again. I'll never get to go back home to her now.

The jagged rocks are closer, and I squint my eyes, bracing myself for the impact.

But it doesn't happen.

Instead, I feel my body stop in the air, mid-fall. And suddenly, I'm levitating. I can't understand what's happening. I still don't know what's happening as I feel my body rise back up. There's no rope, there's no net. How is this happening?

As I float upwards, I begin to understand. An aura of pink, green, and blue hazy lights surrounds several blue and green faces. And all of those faces are staring at me. Magic has returned to Astoria.

Cronus stands at the top of the cliff looking mesmerized by the Astorian's magic light. When he turns around, his expression turns to one of shock. He is surprised to see me there. He thought I was finished.

"How did you…?"

While still floating in the air, I swing at Cronus with my axe and feel a bubble of satisfaction as the blade buries into his neck. The force of the impact knocks him off balance, and Cronus then falls to the ground. Once I'm on my feet again, I kick Cronus with enough force to send him careening down the cliff. I watching in satisfaction as he crashes on the rocks below. If he wasn't dead when I hit him, he's certainly dead now.

The rain stops, and the clouds in the sky slowly began to clear. Suddenly, the aura of lights emanating from the Astorians swirls into some sort of vortex in the sky. I feel a gust of wind, though just a breeze. But for the Invaders, it's much more. Every Invader, dead or alive, rises from the ground. The vortex, like a vacuum, sucks them into oblivion.

I can only watch in stunned silence as the vortex violently spins before swallowing them whole. Next, I see dragons being pulled from almost every corner of the island of Astoria. They too are sucked into the vortex. A few more objects follow. Eggs, I realize. Smart thinking to get rid of those too.

And then, like the eye of a hurricane passing by, the winds suddenly stop, and the vortex closes. That's when the thought finally hits me. The war is over.

I can finally go home.


	61. Goodbye, Hello

**CHAPTER 61– GOODBYE, HELLO**

With Dawn away at school, Liam and I have settled into a new routine. It's strange not having her around all the time, but at the same time, it's sort of nice having some quiet once in a while, and quiet Dawn isn't. Luckily though, she's still willing to come home and babysit for me a couple nights a week. It sure is a lot easier to convince her to babysit now that Liam isn't in diapers.

Friday mornings are my favorite day of the week because I don't have work. Instead of keeping Liam home though, I still take him to preschool. These days, he practically begs to go. It at least gives me a chance to have some "me time", though usually I just end up running errands or doing chores.

After getting up, getting Liam dressed and fed, and taking him to preschool, I come back to the house and decide to get some housework done.

Just another eventful day in my life, I think to myself with a hint of sarcasm.

After throwing a load of laundry into the washer, I head to the kitchen to tackle the floor. It desperately needs a sweep after Liam spilled cereal crumbs on it this morning. As I reach for the broom, the phone rings. I grab the cordless and see from the caller ID that it's Dawn.

"Wow, it's just now a little after nine in the morning and you're up already? I'm impressed. Keep this up little sister and you'll be living up to your name. _Dawn_."

"Ha ha, so funny. But I have to get up. I have a class at ten."

"You should do what I did. Sleep till 9:45, throw on yesterday's clothes, and hustle across campus. It's great exercise."

Dawn laughs on the other end, though it's a half-hearted laugh, and I can tell something is bothering her.

"Dawnie, are you okay?"

Dawn is quiet for a moment, then takes a breath. "Not really."

I put the broom down and sit at the counter. This might be a long conversation. "What's wrong? Are your classes too hard?"

"No, my classes are fine."

"Is it some crazy professor then? I had quite a few of them…"

"No, I like all of them."

"Oh no, roommate trouble? I had that too."

"No, Sandy and I get along great."

"So what's wrong?"

"That _is_ what's wrong! I get along great with everyone here! The closest I had to an actual argument was a debate in one my classes. I guess I just miss fighting with you."

I can't help the smile on my face. "You miss me."

"I miss _fighting_ with you."

"You miss me."

I hear Dawn sigh on the other end. "Okay, fine. I admit it. I sort of miss my big sister. So I thought…maybe we could hang out?"

"I would love to hang out. Just tell me when and where."

"I usually go to the coffee shop after my afternoon classes. Maybe you could stop by after you pick up Liam?"

"I'll be there."

"Okay, cool. Oh, and Willow's coming too. She's working on some research paper and said she'll meet us when she needs a caffeine break."

"Sounds fun, Dawn."

"Well, I better get ready for class. I'll let you go."

"Dawn?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss you too."

Even though I can't see Dawn, I know she's smiling. I can hear it in her voice. "Bye, Buffy."

I smile as I hang up the phone, then turn around to see the cat staring at me with big, soulful eyes. He lets out a soft mew.

"Toby, you big ole butterball. You know good and well I already fed you breakfast."

He mews again, and I have to give him points for his persistence. "Okay you, go outside. It's nice weather and you're not going to be lazing around the house all day and making me jealous of you." I open the back door, and after a few moments of indecision, Toby decides to take the bait.

"Silly ole cat," I say as I close the door behind me. "Oh god, I'm talking to a cat. And to myself apparently."

Turning back to the kitchen, I refocus my attention to the floor and grab the broom. When I get to the refrigerator, the broom moves a piece of paper out from underneath it. I realize it's an old fortune from a fortune cookie, and curious, I read it.

"A great day lies ahead." _In bed_ , I add mentally out of habit. "Does that mean I'll actually get to sleep in tomorrow?"

Deciding that the fortune cookie is a good omen, I stick it to the fridge with a magnet and smile.

* * *

I've been up before dawn. Can't sleep. Can't wait. Today is the day I'm going home. And the Astorians plan to send me off in a grand fashion.

The morning sun casts a soft yellow glow in my room. I'm back in my old room today, for Roman and Althea and the kids wished to return to their home immediately. It's nice to finally see the sun rise again upon waking. I missed that when we lived underground. You'd think that I'd be used to that since I had been a vampire for over 200 years. Things like sunlight, though, you take for granted. It was hard to go back to old ways, even if only temporary.

I hear the sound of the door opening and when I turn around, I see a familiar blue-haired girl.

"Good morning, Angel!" Serena runs to me and squeezes my waist.

"Serena, you're supposed to knock first!" Andromeda says as she walks into the room, scolding her little sister.

Serena stares up at me with her big blue eyes. "Sorry, Angel."

"It's okay. I'm always glad to see you girls."

"We'll miss you when you're gone," Andromeda says softly.

"I'll miss you too. Both of you." I smile at Serena who smiles back at me. "So, what's this?" I indicate the tray of food Andromeda is holding.

"It's for you. We made it ourselves," she says proudly.

"It's supposed to be breakfast in bed," Serena adds. "But you're already awake."

I shrug. "Sorry. I just couldn't sleep." Not only am I awake, but I even made the bed already.

"Well pretend you're just waking up," Serena says. She takes my hand and leads me to the bed. I play along and sit on the bed. Once I'm situated, Andromeda hands me the breakfast tray.

"This looks delicious. Boris?"

Andromeda nods, grinning proudly.

"Except we didn't catch it," Serena says. "Mr. Walker did."

"I can always count on Walker to hunt down a boris."

The girls stare at me expectantly, so I begin to eat. I wink at the girls, and they laugh, delighted that I approve of their culinary skills.

"So, are you excited about today?" Andromeda asks with a smile.

"Yes."

Andromeda eyes my drawing of Buffy. "She'll be so happy to see you come home." Suddenly, she looks up at me, wide-eyed. "You didn't leave her ring in the bunkers, did you?"

"No, it's right here." I dig the ring box out of pocket and open it to reveal the Claddagh ring inside.

"Pretty," Serena says.

A flash of blue enters my peripheral vision and I see Myles walk into the bedroom. "Hey, I was going to help with Angel's breakfast," he says to his sisters. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"We tried," Andromeda says with a laugh. "You were dead to the world!"

Myles looks at me apologetically. "Sorry, Angel."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. We've all been through a lot lately. I'm sure it feels good to be in your own bed, huh?"

Myles nods and joins our group on the bed. "Yeah, sure does. I could sleep there forever. I'm so glad we're home." He then looks at me, realizing what he said. "Except, you're not really home yet."

"No."

"You sure you can't stay with us longer?" Myles pleads.

"Sorry, Myles. As much as I love you guys, I've got people back at home waiting for me. I have to go back to my own world."

"Maybe you could come visit us!" Serena says.

"Yeah, and you could bring Buffy," Andromeda adds.

"Sure, maybe someday. I think she would like that."

* * *

All of Astoria is in celebration mode. In the center of town near the Crystal, people are out in the streets dancing, making music, and laughing. Children are running around and playing. Some, like Andromeda and Serena, are tying colorful strings around a maypole with other children.

I'm celebrating too. I can finally go home now, but I want to say goodbye to these good people that have taken me into their homes and community. But saying goodbye, I've realized, is more difficult than I thought it would be.

I've spent over four years with these people, and I consider them all my friends. How do you say goodbye to them?

"Take care, man," Brutus says, patting me on the back. I smile, not daring to let Brutus know my back is stinging where he touched. He didn't mean it. Brutus is just a lot stronger than he realizes. I smile as I remember his own brand of fighting, which most of the time just involves tackling an enemy to the ground.

"I'll miss you, Brutus."

"Nah, you won't miss this old lug," he says with a laugh.

"No, I will."

"Goodbye, Angel," Carter says. He shakes my hand. "I'll always remember our times on guard together."

"Me too. You were always prepared, Carter. I always appreciated that."

Walker approaches me next. "Thank you, Angel."

"You're welcome, Walker. But I didn't do this all alone."

"No, not just for that. I wanted to thank you for giving me confidence. I was scared when the Invaders and dragons came. But I knew I had to do whatever it took to take care of Alicia and my girls. Thank you for helping me protect my family."

"I'll miss you, Walker."

Walker half hugs, half pats me on the back, and I do the same.

"Well, I'll let you go. I'm sure you want to get on with this so you can go see your Buffy."

Buffy. Just hearing her name spoken. I can't wait.

When I turn around, I see Grayer walking toward me. His expression is somber.

"Well, guess you're not going to miss me."

"You know what, Grayer, I might miss you a little."

Grayer laughs. "No you won't, but thanks for trying to spare my feelings anyway." Grayer's face turns serious. "Listen, Angel, I'm sorry if I gave you grief these past few years. I was wrong about you."

"Don't worry about it. I didn't listen to you half the time anyway."

Grayer laughs. "Well all the same, I'm grateful for what you did to help us. But hey, someone had to play devil's advocate, huh?" Grayer laughs again.

I extend my hand and shake his. "Take care man, and thanks for the knife lessons."

"Yeah, you need more practice," he replies.

I laugh. Typical response from Grayer. I really think I will miss him. On second thought...nah.

It seems like there are a thousand goodbyes to say. Every time I turn around, someone else stops me. Everyone I have ever met, or even people I haven't met, come up to me to say their goodbyes and express their appreciation. Even Suki, the feisty old woman from the Sea District, remembers me well.

"Angel," a familiar voice says.

I turn to see Yang. Next to him is Kwan.

Yang extends his hand for me to shake. "Thank you, Angel. For everything. My grandfather was right about you. You saved us all."

I shrug. "Not everyone, but I'm glad I could help. And you," I say, turning to Kwan, "are very skilled with a sharp blade. Remind me not to get on your bad side."

Kwan laughs.

"Which reminds me…" I walk over to a nearby barn and grab my trusty axe. When I come out, I hand it to Kwan. "Take it."

Kwan looks at me, surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah. I think it's time to pass it on to someone else. And just in case you ever have trouble again, you're good with it."

Kwan smiles proudly. "I will always remember you when I use this."

As I walk through the crowd of blue, green, and pink-tinged hair and skin, I see Conan and Essie heading my way.

"Thank you, Angel," Conan says to me as he shakes my hand. "I'll never forget how you helped my Essie."

"You've already thanked me, Conan."

"But I can't thank you enough."

"That goes for me as well," Essie says. "Thank you, Angel." Essie steps forward to embrace me.

"You're welcome."

"Angel," a man says, and turn to see Hornsby standing behind me with his hand outstretched. "Take care, man."

"You too, Hornsby."

Neville, Graham, and several more men I trained, though I can't remember all of their names, take their turn in saying goodbye to me.

"We'll miss you, Angel," Alicia says, catching up to me as I walk through the crowd. "And you thank you for taking care of Walker out there. I always worried about him, but it helped a lot to know he was with you."

"You're welcome, Alicia."

"Angel?" I turn to see Althea standing next to me. "I thought you would like to say goodbye to the children."

"Yes, I would."

Althea leads me to the front of the crowd that has gathered. Standing in front of a stage, I spot Andromeda's pink hair first, then her blue-haired siblings.

"Children, it's time to say goodbye to Angel."

Serena looks up at me with sad eyes. "Already?"

"Afraid so, kiddo."

"But you said you'll come back and visit us, right?" Andromeda asks.

"Andromeda, Angel's been here for four years!" Althea says. "I think he's seen enough of this place!"

"But we'll miss you."

"Me too," Myles says.

"And me too," Serena says, hugging my waist.

I kneel down and smile at her. "I'll miss you guys too. But don't worry. We'll see each other again. Maybe you could even come and visit me."

Serena looks up at her mother with begging eyes. "Can we, Mommy? Please!"

"I think that would be a wonderful idea."

"Maybe we could come for the wedding?" Andromeda asks. "You promised you would invite us. Remember?"

"I would love if you guys could be there. Not sure how I would contact you though…"

"Through inter-dimensional mail, of course!" Andromeda says with a laugh.

"Is there even such a thing?"

Althea laughs. "Not exactly, but don't worry about figuring out how to contact us. We'll contact you. We'll give you time to settle in, but you'll be hearing from us."

"So, ready to do this?" Roman asks me.

"Just another moment." I turn to the children to say my final goodbyes. I hug each one of them, then stand back and stare at the trio of them. Andromeda is no longer a girl, but a young woman. Myles is still short for his age, but something tells me the next time I see him, he'll be a foot taller. And little Serena is no longer the shy young girl who held on to her stuffed animals. It's unbelievable how fast they've grown before my eyes.

"You take care, alright? We'll see each other again."

The children nod, and Andromeda wipes her eye with her fingertip. I'll miss these kids, and I'm almost reluctant to leave them, but just the thought of going back home to Buffy…

I'm almost _home_.

"Alright, I'm ready," I tell Roman. Roman nods, and he and Althea walk with me to the stage in front of the crowd that has gathered.

There are a few chairs on the stage, and Althea motions for me to sit down in one of them. I'm not sure how this is going to work, but they seem to know what's going on.

A hush falls over the crowd as the Ancient One makes his way to the stage. The old man struggles with his cane, so Yang assists his grandfather up the steps. They walk over to the center of the stage where a podium stands, and the Ancient One motions for Yang to sit down.

The Ancient One clears his throat, then begins to speak.

"My fellow Astorians…it has been a very long time since we have been able to participate in such a joyous occasion. We experienced over four years of a great darkness, a darkness that we have never experienced here in our peaceful world. But I knew early on that someone would be our salvation. Someone from another world. And it was fate that led the great warrior Angel to our world."

The Ancient One turns to face me. "Angel, I believe I speak for all of the people of Astoria. Saying 'thank you' is not nearly enough to express our gratitude." He motions for me to stand up, and when I do, the old man takes my hand and presents me to the crowd.

"Speech, speech, speech!" the crowd cries.

I touch my face, suddenly a little nervous, but the Ancient One encourages me to say a few words. So I take a deep breath and step up to the podium.

"Fighting evil isn't new to me. In my world, evil is just as prevalent as it was here. The only difference is that it's a never-ending struggle for us. It was fighting that evil that led me here. I'll admit, the only thing I could think about when I first arrived here was that I wanted to go home. I was upset when I realized that was impossible. But then I met Roman and his family. And he and Althea took me in and made me a part of their family. And not just Roman and Althea. All of you welcomed me into your community.

"And it was then that I knew I was here for a reason. Fate brought me here. And though I miss home desperately, if I had to be away, I'm glad it was here in Astoria. Thank you for kindness and friendship. I'll miss all of you."

I can't think of anything else to say, so I wave, and the crowd breaks out in applause.

There's a tap on my shoulder, and when I turn around, I see Roman and Althea.

"Ready to go home?" Roman asks.

 _Home._ I can't believe it's finally happening. "Yes."

"Angel, you may feel lightheaded after the journey," Althea warns me. "Teleporting takes a lot of out of humans."

I nod, remembering last time.

Roman waves his arm, creating a portal. A portal that will lead me _home_.

I look at the crowd, seeing the children in the front row. They wave excitedly at me, as do the adults behind them. Walker, Carter, Brutus. I'll miss them all.

Roman pats me on the back. "You're a good man, Angel. Take care."

"Farewell, Angel," Althea says.

"Thank you for everything. Both of you."

"No, thank _you_ ," Roman says with a smile.

"Now go on," Althea says as she gently pushes me forward. "Your Buffy is waiting." She smiles, though I see a glint of tears in her eyes.

"Goodbye."

Roman and Althea hold each other and smile back at me. Next to them, the Ancient One grins widely, and Yang waves.

I look to the crowd one last time, wave goodbye, then step into the portal and disappear.

* * *

When I wake up, I don't know where I am. There's an annoying beeping sound that's driving me up the wall. I realize it's a monitor, and I suddenly realize I'm in a hospital.

 _A hospital?_

" _Doctor, the patient in 132 is coming to."_

If I'm in a hospital, does this mean I'm home? I fear I'm dreaming, and when I really wake up, I'll realize this has all been a dream.

I hear footsteps and see a bright light being shined into my eyes.

" _Pupils are normal."_

"Where am I?" I ask, my voice hoarse.

"You're at the hospital," says a nurse hovering over me. "Someone found you passed out, but you're going to be just fine. You're just a little dehydrated. You have an IV giving you fluids so you should be fine. Would you like a sip of water?"

I sit up and take the water, and it does feel cool to my throat. But water's not what I want. "Where am I?"

"You're at the hospital," the nurse repeats.

"Are you feeling any pain?" says a woman standing on the other side of the bed, the one with the light. I assume she's the doctor.

"Can you please tell me where the hell I am?" I demand.

The doctor gives me a wary look, and I realize she's just trying to be nice. "I'm sorry. Just please, tell me where I am. Am I in Sunnydale?"

"Yes, sir, you're in Sunnydale. What's your name? Can I call someone?" the doctor asks.

I shake my head no and try to get out of the bed.

"Sir, you can't leave!" the nurse says.

"Please get back in the bed!" the doctor says.

"I'm not staying here!"

"Sir!"

I rip the IV out of my arm and wince in pain. "My clothes? Where are they?"

Both the doctor and nurse seem to be at a loss at what to do. The nurse moves closer to me.

"Sir, you can't…"

"My clothes!" I repeat.

"They're over there," the nurse says, pointing to the small closet.

I move out of bed and grab the clothes from the closet. I pull the pants on and rip off the gown, then put the shirt on in haste. I reach inside the pocket, relieved to find the ring is still there. I pick up my shoes and socks. I'll put those on later. Right now, I just want to get the hell out of here.

"Sir, you can't leave!" the doctor pleads. "Please, let us run some tests to make sure you're okay!"

But I'm already out the door.

* * *

I leave the hospital and walk into town. Sunnydale has changed since I left. There are more empty office spaces than there were before. And the old butcher shop I used to go to all the time is now a dry-cleaners.

By the time I reach Ravello Drive, I'm tired of walking. Buffy's house finally comes into view, and my heart skips a beat. I want to see her so bad, but a fleeting thought crosses my mind. What if she no longer lives here? What if she's not even in Sunnydale anymore? It _has_ been four years.

I quicken my pace and check the mailbox at the end of the driveway, and feel relieved to find that it still says "Summers" on the side. If Buffy isn't here, then Joyce has to be, and she would know where Buffy is.

I make my way up the sidewalk and to the porch. There's a fat gray cat sunning on the step. He looks up at me lazily, then closes his eyes again. I don't remember Joyce having a cat, and I wonder what else has changed.

Taking a deep breath, I knock on the door and suddenly feel nervous. It feels so strange to be back here, back at home.

I knock again when there's no response, and moments later, I hear footsteps from within. The lock clicks, and I find myself holding my breath as the knob turns and the door slowly opens.

Standing in front of me is Buffy.

* * *

 **A/N** : Yeah, I left it there. I really did. Sorry! The reunion...and my favorite chapter of this entire story, will be posted tomorrow! You don't want to miss it! I'll try to post it as early as I can! :)


	62. Home, Pt 1

**CHAPTER 62 – HOME PT 1**

She's even more beautiful than I remember.

"Oh my god," she says, her eyes wide with surprise.

I understand her shock, because I can't believe this is happening either. "Buffy."

"Angel? Is it really you?"

I nod. "It's really me. I'm home, Buffy."

And suddenly she's in my arms, hugging me tight. I wrap my arms around her, holding her close and relishing the familiarity of her body against mine. It's been so long since I've been able to hold her in my arms.

I turn my head and place my hands on her face, look into her eyes, and kiss her.

I've missed this. _Oh how I've missed this!_ The taste of her, the smell of her. The little moan she makes when I kiss her like this.

When I pull away, I look at her again, wanting to look at her forever. A tear is trailing down her cheek, and I wipe it with my fingertip.

"You're here," she says, choking on sob. "You're really here!"

"I'm really here."

"Angel, I've missed you so much!"

"God I've missed you too."

We kiss again, both of us starving for one another. My feet seem to move of their own volition and I back Buffy into the wall. We're all over each other, lips touching, hands roaming. I run my fingers through her hair. It's soft, and the smell of her flowery shampoo is overwhelming.

 _I've missed this._

She tastes like blueberries when I kiss her, probably what she had been eating right before I showed up, and she and I both gasp, our lungs demanding we stop to breathe for a moment.

When we finally break it up, it seems that all the two of us can do is stare at each other. I keep waiting for this to be a dream, but Buffy is still standing in front of me. She's in my arms, and she's as real as I am.

"I waited, Angel. I-I tried to bring you back, but I-I couldn't."

"I never gave up trying to get back to you. I'm just so sorry it's taken me this long."

"You're home now, and that's what matters. Where were you?"

"It's a long story."

"There's so much I have to tell you, Angel. So much that's happened while you were gone and…you look really hot."

I feel a smile forming on my lips. "So do you," I whisper in a seductive tone.

"No, I mean…" Buffy suddenly laughs. "Well, you _do_ look hot, but I mean the other kind of hot."

"Yeah, a little. I walked all the way here from the hospital."

"The _hospital_?"

"Don't know how I ended up there, but when I woke up, all I could think of was you. I came straight here."

"Come sit down." Buffy takes my hand, leading me to the couch in the living room. "Let me get you some water. You look dehydrated."

I sit down on the couch, gazing up at her with a smile plastered to my face. "Okay."

"Don't pass out on me."

"I won't."

She turns to go to the kitchen, but pauses midway. "Don't go anywhere, alright?"

"I promise I'm not going anywhere."

She smiles at me, closes the front door which we apparently forgot in our excitement over seeing each other, then disappears into the kitchen.

The couch I'm sitting on is different, but the rest of the furniture looks the same. Well, except for maybe the coffee table. It has a few more water rings on it, and it looks like it's had a beating, perhaps broken and put back together, but it's still the same old coffee table.

The house even smells the same. The smell of fresh flowers and potpourri. Joyce always did keep a nice smelling house.

Buffy returns moments later with a glass of ice water, and I take it gratefully and down several gulps, not realizing how thirsty I must have been.

Buffy sits down on the couch beside me, and I sit the glass down on a coaster. She keeps staring at me, smiling. It's probably the same expression on my face as well.

"How is everyone?" I ask.

"Good. Everyone's good. Giles moved back to England last month. Anya runs the magic shop now. And she and Xander got married. And Willow and Oz got back together. Oh, and I haven't even mentioned Doyle and Cordelia!"

"Cordy and Doyle are together?"

"They ran off to Vegas and eloped last spring."

" _What?"_

"I know, right?"

"I kind of hoped those two would end up together. How's your sister?"

"Dawnie's good. She's already a freshman at UC Sunnydale. Can you believe that? She insisted on staying in the dorms. Says she needs her independence or whatever. But that's okay. Willow's taking some grad classes there and she keeps an eye on her for me."

"And your mother? How's she?"

The smile on Buffy's face falls, and I can tell I've hit a sore spot. The news can't be good.

"Mom passed away last year."

I reach out for her hands, holding them in my own. "Buffy, I'm so sorry. I know you and your mother were close."

"It was an aneurysm. It was…sudden and unexpected. And what's ironic is that she actually had been sick for a while. A brain tumor. But she had surgery and she was better. We thought we were out of the woods. But I guess the aneurysm was too small to be detected."

"I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you. I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you."

"That's okay. I know you would have been here if you could. Oh, Angel, so much has happened. There's something I have to tell—"

The phone suddenly rings, interrupting us, and Buffy looks to the hallway. She looks like she's debating on whether or not to answer it. "I'm sorry, I better get this. Just in case it's something important."

"Go ahead," I nod, and Buffy hops up and makes a dash for the hallway phone.

While I wait, I reach for my glass of water, and when I place it back, I miss the coaster and knock it over, spilling the rest of the water all over the coffee table. "Damn it."

By sheer luck, there's a dish towel on the other side of the coffee table. I grab it, then sop up the water with the cloth.

"That was just the dentist," Buffy announces, coming back into the living room. "I still have a sweet tooth unfortunately. Oh, what happened?"

"Sorry," I apologize, sitting the glass right side up. "I had a little accident."

"That's okay. Why do you think I keep a towel there? Something's always getting spilled on that table." Buffy takes the wet towel and picks up the empty glass. "I'll get you another glass."

"Thanks."

She leaves the room again, and I stand there, feeling like an idiot for being so clumsy. I decide I must be really exhausted.

On the end table, a photograph suddenly catches my attention. I pick it up and get a closer look. It's of Buffy with a little boy of no more than two years old, his small arms wrapped around her in a hug as he smiles at the camera. It's one of those novelty frames, the words "I LOVE MY MOMMY" carved into the wood with the word "love" spelled with a heart. I suddenly realize there are toys all over the living room, and the fact that I have missed this until now is incredible.

The realization sinks in, and it's quite obvious what's happened. Buffy's moved on, and she has a family now. A family that I'm not a part of. I want to be happy for her, but I feel my heart breaking into about a million pieces.

 _I came back too late._

I hear Buffy come back into the room and feel her gaze on me. I glance at her, seeing her standing there with the glass of water in her hand. I'm not sure how to read the expression on her face.

"You're a mother."

A smile spreads across her face. "I was just getting around to telling you about that."

I stare back at the photograph again. "He's beautiful."

Buffy walks over to me and puts her hand on my arm. "He's yours, Angel."

"What?" I glance at Buffy, hoping, praying maybe, that I heard her right.

"He's yours, Angel. You have a son."

"I…I have a son?"

Buffy smiles. "Can't you see the resemblance? He looks just like you. I haven't been with anyone else. I always knew you'd come back to me, Angel."

I sit down, suddenly feeling dizzy. "You mean when I left, you were…"

Buffy nods, sitting down beside me. "Yeah, I was pregnant. I just didn't know it yet. He was a surprise. I guess we weren't that careful. Remember that last time we didn't use a condom?"

"Yeah." I continue to stare at the photograph, mesmerized by him. _My son._

"I think that was when it happened. I'm glad actually. I mean, if we had, maybe I wouldn't have had him. And honestly, Liam's been about the only thing that's gotten me through this. He's my reason to get up every morning."

"Liam?" I turn to look at her.

Buffy gives me a smile. "Yeah, that's his name. Liam Angel Summers. I named him after you."

"It's a perfect name. When was he born?"

"January 20th."

"The day after your birthday."

"Yeah. Best birthday present ever from you."

"Where is he now?"

"He's at school."

" _School?_ He's in school already?"

"Preschool," Buffy clarifies. "He's only three."

"Three. He's three. I can't believe I've missed so much. _Three years_ of my son's life."

"He was just over a year old in that photo. I keep it out because it's one of my favorites. Here, I have some more recent pictures of him."

Buffy picks up a photograph envelope from the coffee table. "I just had these developed yesterday. Haven't had a chance to put them in an album yet." She takes the photos out and hands them to me. "Here, look through these."

I thumb through the pictures, my smile growing wider at each one. "He's perfect. He's absolutely perfect."

"He takes after you, and not just in looks. He's so smart, and boy does he love books. He reminds me so much of you."

I can't help but laugh. "Is that so?"

"Yeah. He's like my little mini-researcher. He may not know all the words in those dusty old volumes, but it never stops him from being curious about them."

"So he knows about…?"

"Vampires?"

"Yeah."

"Yes, he knows. It's just easier not to keep it a secret from him. He should know the truth, and I want him to know how to protect himself when he gets older. He thinks it's kind of cool actually, the whole slaying thing. He looks at me like I'm some kind of superhero. And his teachers think he has a very vivid imagination."

Buffy leans on me, pointing out Liam in another picture. "That's not a very good picture but he's right here in the water. We went to the beach. He loves the ocean."

"When can I meet him?"

Buffy smiles at me. "I pick him up in a couple of hours."

I look through the rest of the photographs, then look again at the first one in the album. A perfect shot of my boy standing in the sun, the wind whipping his dark hair into his face. "I can't believe I have a _son_."

"I can't believe you're here."

I set the photographs back on the coffee table and stare at Buffy, who's on the verge of crying.

"I just can't believe you're actually _here_. So many times I've thought of this moment happening. What it would be like to have you knock on the door and finally be home. And everyone kept telling me to give up, to move on, but I could never do that. I could never give up on us."

She's crying now, and I reach out, brushing my thumb against her cheek and wiping away the tear that fell.

"I'm so sorry. I wanted to come back sooner. It just wasn't possible."

"I've missed you so much, Angel."

"I've missed you too. God how I've missed you."

"And to think, today of all days, you show up when I look like an absolute wreck!" Buffy grabs a Kleenex from the box on the table and dabs her eyes.

I can't help but laugh, because nothing could be further from the truth. "Really? Because I was thinking that I've never seen you look more beautiful than you do at this very moment."

Her lip trembles, a sob threatening to come out. Happy tears. "You look older. I've never seen you age before." She reaches out and touches my face. "Don't worry though. You age really well. God I'm so glad to see you."

I place my hand on her cheek and bring her face to mine, kissing her trembling lips.

"Promise me something," she whispers against my lips.

"Anything."

"Promise you'll never leave me again. Promise you'll always be here with me."

"I'm not going anywhere. Not if I can help it."

She smiles at me, and suddenly, we'll all over each other again. I can't get enough of her. I want to kiss every inch of her. Her lips, her face, her neck, other places…

Buffy's reaching for my shirt, clawing at the buttons. She undoes two of them before I stand up and scoop her into my arms, my mind on one thought and one thought only: _It's been way too long._

 _God how I've missed her._

I carry her up the stairs and straight to the bedroom…

* * *

I feel like I'm nineteen again. Angel and I are all over each other, undoing buttons and zippers in a frenzy, neither satisfied until we're skin to skin. I don't even remember who turned down the sheets, or how I got out of my underwear for that matter.

I feel Angel's hot breath on my face, his mouth on my lips, his body over mine. He nudges my thighs apart with his knee and settles himself between my legs.

"Buffy," he says in a strained voice. "I…I can't wait."

"Good. Me neither." I smile at him.

He smiles back and pushes himself inside of me.

It feels just like old times, Angel and I together this way. Like we just picked up where we left off, never missing a beat.

As Angel moves over me, I feel my eyes get teary. Moments later, a tear rolls out of the corner of my eye. I'm not sad though. I've never been this happy in my entire life. Angel and I being together really is a moment of perfect happiness…for the both of us.

Angel pauses for a moment and kisses the fallen tear. He then stares at me, then moves a strand of hair out of my face. "I love you, Buffy."

"I love you, too. Sometimes I was scared we'd never get to be together again."

"I know, but we're together now."

I nod and smile. He kisses me, then begins to move again. Then we don't talk for a while.

I see Angel straining, knowing he's going slow on purpose, knowing he's trying to hold back. He's always been that way, always putting my pleasure before his own. Lucky for Angel, he doesn't have to wait very long. When I cry out his name, his quickens his pace, then groans and collapses on top of me.

Angel rolls over to his side of the bed, his breath sounding just as labored as mine. I stare up at the ceiling fan, hearing its constant tick as it whirls around, and the breeze feels good on my clammy skin.

"That was…" Angel says, unable to get out the rest of the words as he struggles to catch his breath.

"Yeah," I agree with him, reading his mind. I can't seem to get out many words at the moment either.

I look at Angel looking at me, and we laugh.

"Good to know I've still got it after four years," he says with a satisfied grin on his face.

"Oh, you definitely still got it. I guess my fortune was dead on."

"What?"

"I found a fortune from an old fortune cookie on the floor this morning. It said I was going to have a great day."

"In bed?" Angel asks, still somewhat out of breath.

I nod, and we laugh.

I roll over next to Angel, resting my head against his chest as Angel puts an arm around me. I place my hand on his chest, just over his heart, and can feel the beating beneath my palm. "I've missed feeling that."

"I feel like it's going to pound out of my chest," Angel says with a laugh.

I laugh with him. "Mine too."

We lay in silence for a while, the hum of the ceiling fan the only sound as we slowly come down from the high we've just experienced. Beneath my palm, Angel's heartbeat returns to its normal rhythm, a gentle _thump, thump, thump._ Even after all of this time, I still marvel at the feel of its beating, knowing that at one time, it didn't beat at all.

Angel pulls me closer to him and kisses me on the forehead. I've missed this. I've missed just being able to lie with him after making love. I miss the feel of his warm body next to mine. Beneath my palm, his heart continues to beat. No dream this time. He's really here.

"Angel?"

"Hmm?"

"Where were you?"

Angel is quiet for a moment, and then speaks. "It was a place called Astoria."

"What was it like there?" I look up at him, meeting his gaze.

"It was a world not unlike our own. There was good, and there was evil. I wanted to come home to you, more than anything. But it just wasn't possible."

"Why not?"

"It's a long story."

"That's okay. I want to know everything."

"I don't know where to start."

"Start from the beginning. Start from when you went through the portal."

"Alright. When I went through the portal, all I saw was darkness, and I was so exhausted that I passed out. When I awoke, it was morning, and I found myself in the middle of a forest. I walked for a while, and I found a river. I started following it. I had hoped that eventually, I'd leave the forest and find civilization, but the days turned into weeks, and then months."

" _Months_? You spent months in the middle of a forest all by yourself?"

"Yeah. I was beginning to think that I was the only living soul there. Well, except for the dragon of course."

" _Dragon_?"

"Yeah, fire-breathing and all."

"I'm going to take a wild guess that he wasn't a friendly dragon."

"No, not exactly. I had a close call. He looked at me like I was his next meal."

"So what happened then?"

"One night after having the close call with said dragon, I moved my campsite. I found another cave downstream, and I settled in for the night. Night was dangerous, and not just because of the dragons. There were wolves and other creatures that came out in the dark. But believe it or not, that wasn't what almost killed me."

"What? You almost got _killed_?"

"That night as I settled into my new campsite, I noticed a spider bite on my forearm. I didn't think much about it. It didn't bother me as much as the mosquito bites. At least not at first. Then I went to sleep, but I woke up sometime in the night, and you were there."

"I was…there?"

"Well, you weren't really there, but I thought you were. You were so close, Buffy. I was so tired and feeling feverish, but you were there, and all I could think of was how happy I was to see you. You sat beside me and held my hand, promised me that you were going to take me home. I think in the back of my mind, I knew I wasn't feeling well, but I really had thought you were there."

"But you were hallucinating."

Angel nods. "Yeah. When I woke up, I was in some stranger's house, and this woman was taking care of me. She told me her husband and his hunting group found me in the forest. Apparently the spider that bit me was a poisonous one. I would have died had it not been for the men who found me."

"I'm so grateful that they did."

"The woman, Althea, she turned out to be a healer, and she and the men who found me saved my life."

"Thank god."

"I learned later that I hadn't had much further to go. The forest was quite vast. I was only miles away from the village. Once I began to feel better, I had hoped the people there would help me get back home, but that's when I found out I wasn't going home anytime soon."

"Why not? They couldn't help you?"

"No, it's not that. They would have gladly helped me return home, but there was no magic in the world. There had been at one time, but the Invaders had taken it away. Opening a portal to come home was impossible."

"The Invaders?"

"The dimension hoppers. You remember them, right?"

"How could I forget them?"

"We're really fortunate we were able to stop them, and that there were not as many to come here."

"I know. I did a lot of research on them when you were gone. I tried to find where they were so that I could find you."

"The Invaders had taken over Astoria. The people of Astoria were a peaceful and friendly sort, but the Invaders has ruined that peacefulness. So did the dragons too."

"Were the dragons part of Astoria, or did they come with the Invaders?"

"They came from whatever world the Invaders had brought them from. For a while, they used a magic shield to keep them at bay. When their magic was taken from them, they used an electric fence. And when the Invaders shut off the electricity, the only defense they had left was to hide underground."

"That's terrible."

"That's not even the half of it."

"Why? What else would they do?"

"Things more horrible than you can imagine. One of the districts rebelled. The Invaders didn't like that too much, so they slaughtered nearly everyone there, even the children. Then they unleashed the dragons. The whole district was burned. After that, they started to make the people their slaves."

"Oh my god. That's _horrible_. They sound like, like Nazis!"

"Yeah, that pretty much sums them up. Most of that happened before I came on to the scene. But when the Astorians met me, they had hope. They had learned I was a warrior, and apparently there was a prophecy that said a warrior from another world would come help them fight in their time of need. And that's exactly what I did. It just took a lot longer than I expected. I'm sorry about that."

"No, Angel, you don't need to apologize. God, I feel so guilty now."

"Guilty? Why?"

"When you were gone, I was desperate for answers. I didn't know where you were, I didn't know if you were okay. So one day, I begged Doyle to take me to see the Oracles. They gave me answers, but not exactly ones I was looking for. All they would say was that you were where you were needed. So of course, I argued with them, told them there wasn't anyone who needed you more than we did. And now to know what was going on there…you really were needed there."

"Even if I could have left, I would have felt guilty for doing so. Especially when they had been so kind to me and saved my life. I owed them. And I couldn't leave them until I was sure they would be safe again. And until the magic was restored of course."

I reach out and touch Angel's face, tracing the line of his jaw. "I didn't think it was possible."

"What's that?"

"To love you even more than I already do. You're so good, Angel. The fact that you helped them fight just goes to show how good and honorable of a man you are. I'm so lucky."

Angel leans closer to me and we kiss, then I snuggle against his neck again. I let out a contented sigh. This is exactly where I want to be right now.

"Hey, I just realized something," Angel says a few minutes later, breaking the silence that had settled upon us.

"What's that?"

"You didn't mention what your old pal Riley is up to these days." Angel looks at me, grinning.

"Riley's happily married now."

" _Really_?"

"Yes, really! He decided he wanted to get out of Sunnydale, so he joined some black ops mission in South America. He was there for a few months and when he came back to visit, he had a wife. Sam. She's real nice…perfect for him."

A slow smile spreads on Angel's face. "Good, I don't have to worry about him making a move on you now."

I hit Angel playfully on the shoulder. "Oh come on! Be nice!"

"I have to admit, for a very brief moment, when I first saw that picture of you and Liam, I thought…"

"You thought I had moved on."

The smile on Angel's face falls. "Yeah. Not that I wouldn't want you to be happy, but for a moment, my heart was breaking."

"There was no one else, Angel. Not even Riley. He did have a crush on me though. Apparently it was obvious to everyone except me. But I turned him down. I couldn't possibly give my heart to someone else. How could I? My heart always belonged to you."

The smile on Angel's face returns, and I lean forward, kissing him full on the lips.

* * *

We made love again. Afterwards, Buffy dozed off to sleep in my arms with a promise from me that I would wake her up in a half hour if she fell asleep. She lies against me with both her arm and leg draped over me. She's not going to let me go anywhere, not that I'd want to leave anyway. No, I'm perfectly content right here in this bed next to her.

I watch her sleep. She still has a smile on her face. This reminds me of the time when I first became human, and Buffy and I spent almost an entire weekend in bed together. Sometimes I would just stay up for hours, watching her sleep, still not believing that everything I wanted was finally happening. Still not believing I could ever be so incredibly happy.

Over on the nightstand, a framed photograph catches my attention. I reach over and pick up the frame, getting a closer look at it. Buffy and I are standing on the beach, hand in hand and gazing at each other in the sunset. Like some picture from a postcard. I remember that day quite vividly, with Cordelia snapping pictures like crazy and Buffy and I oblivious to everything other than ourselves. It makes me smile to remember that day. I'm sad that we've missed so much time together, but I know we'll be making a lot more memories just like that one.

I put the picture back down and notice the picture next to it. It's a smaller framed picture of Liam. It looks like one of those pictures from a portrait studio. I pick that one up too and stare at it with a grin plastered to my face. It hits me all over again… _I have a son._

After about twenty minutes, Buffy stirs awake. She gazes up at me with sleepy eyes and smiles again. "Did I fall asleep?"

"Yeah, but only for a little while."

Buffy leans over me to gaze at the clock on the nightstand. Somehow or another, we ended up switching places in bed. She relaxes when she notices the time. "Good, still got plenty of time. I need to take a shower before I pick up Liam."

In my hand, I still hold the small framed portrait of him. I look at Liam's smiling face again, realizing all over again that I'll never get those missed years back. "I hate that I missed so much time with him. With both of you."

"I knew you would feel that way. And I know nothing can make up for the time you've lost, but I took pictures and videos of everything. I've got video of his first birthday, his first steps, even the first time he laughed when he was a baby. I even have some pictures of me pregnant if you want to see what I looked like!"

"When I was in Astoria, I only had the one photograph of you, the one I kept in my wallet. So a lot of times, I sketched you. I had sketches of you everywhere. And this one time, I had a dream about you. I had dreamed you were pregnant, so I sketched you pregnant. Little did I know that you actually were pregnant at the time."

"I was big as a cow."

"I'm sure you were beautiful." I pull her closer and kiss her lips.

"Well, I really should get that shower," Buffy says as she sits up. She then smiles at me, a hint of seduction in her eyes. "You're welcome to join me if you like."

"I will, but you go ahead. Give me just a minute."

"Okay." Buffy kisses me once more, then hops out of bed. Once the shower turns on, I reach for my pants on the floor. Inside the pocket, the ring still rests in its box. I take a peek at it, imagining it on Buffy's finger.

"Angel, are you coming?" Buffy calls out from the bathroom.

"Be right there." I quickly tuck the ring away into one of the nightstand drawers and then head to the shower to join her.

* * *

After we shower and dress, we scarf down a few hastily-made sandwiches Buffy whips up in the kitchen. We're both ravenous after our lovemaking and had completely forgotten lunch. Then, we leave to pick up Liam.

It feels strange during the ride. In just a short while, I'm going to meet my son, a son I never even knew I had.

Buffy drives as I sit in the passenger seat, staring out at the downtown streets of Sunnydale. It looks slightly different, a few new shops having sprung up, but it hasn't changed that much since I left.

"I see that you're better at driving now."

"Hey!"

I laugh at her. "I'm teasing you."

"Well, you're right. I've become a much more cautious driver. Being a parent sort of makes you be cautious about everything."

"I'm sure."

"You know, it's a really good thing you came home today. I don't work on Fridays. It's like the perfect schedule. I know it won't last for long."

"Where do you work?"

"You'll laugh when I tell you."

"I won't laugh, I promise. Wait, am I going to laugh? It's not some fast food joint where they make you dress up as a chicken and pass out coupons, is it?"

"No!" she says with a laugh. "Not quite that funny. I work at the high school. The new Sunnydale High. They've rebuilt it since you've been gone."

"Back to high school, huh?"

"Yeah, I just can't seem to stay away from that place."

"So what kind of work do you do there?"

"I work there part-time as a pseudo-guidance counselor."

"A pseudo-guidance counselor? What does a pseudo-guidance counselor do?"

"Sort of a mentor really. Mostly I just listen to the kids talk about whatever is bothering them. Since I'm younger, they tend to open up a little more to me than they do with the other adults. Plus, since I'm there, I can keep a close eye on the hellmouth as well. It still acts up from time to time."

"Well I think that's the perfect job for you."

"Thanks, but I've got my eyes on another position. The school's real guidance counselor, Mr. Potemski? Well, he's old as dirt. He was there when I was a student. Rumor is he's going to retire at the end of the year. And when he does, I'll be a shoo-in for his job. I mean, I might have to get a counseling degree or some sort of certification first, but Robin says he'll do anything to make it happen. I mean, it's not like people are clamoring to work at Sunnydale High, you know?"

"Robin?"

"He's the principal, and my boss."

"I think all that's wonderful, Buffy. I'm so proud of you. I know your mother would be too."

Buffy glances at me briefly. "When I found out I was pregnant, it would have been so easy to never go back to school, but Mom made me promise I would finish. She could have just kicked me out, but no, she was so supportive. She took me and Liam in, and in exchange for helping me with Liam, I would finish school. This is me keeping my promise to her."

Up ahead, a playground with children comes into view, and Buffy slows the car and eases into a parking space by the curb. She turns off the car and gives me a smile. "Well, we're here."

"I'm almost nervous. Do you think he'll like me?"

"He already loves you, Angel. You're not a stranger to him. He knows who you are."

"Really?"

"Yes, I made sure of that. There's a picture of you by his bed. I tell him stories about you all the time. And I always told him that one day, you'd come back home to us."

"I hate that I missed out on so much with him."

Buffy reaches for my hand and gives it a squeeze. "I know, but you're here now. Listen, how about you wait here, and I'll go get him. Give me a minute to talk to him."

"Alright."

She leans forward and kisses me, then gets out of the car.

I watch Buffy walk up the sidewalk, seeing not for the first time how beautiful she is in the sunlight. Then I look for Liam, scanning the faces of the children to find my boy. I immediately spot Liam. With his mop of dark hair, he's easy to recognize. It hits me again… _I have a son._

To get a better look, I open the door and step out of the car. I lean against the door and watch them both.

When Liam sees Buffy, he jumps out of the swing like a daredevil, nearly giving me a heart attack for a moment, and runs into her arms. I smile, watching them, and I feel so grateful that I'm here to see this.

He must have forgotten something, because he suddenly runs back toward the building. He grabs a small backpack from the ground and runs back to her.

I can't wait to meet him.

* * *

"Look, Mommy. I drew you a picture!" Liam unzips his book bag and fishes out a wrinkled paper.

I take the drawing and smile. "Is that me?" I ask, pointing to the stick figure with yellow colored hair.

"Yeah, that's you! You're slaying a vampire! See his fangs?" Liam points to the jagged teeth on the second stick figure.

"What's this right here?" I ask, running my finger along the space dotted with black crayon dots.

"That's another vampire," Liam explains. "He exploded!"

"Well this one's definitely going on the fridge." I hand the picture back to Liam, and as he puts it back into his bag, I glance at Angel. He's standing by the car and smiling at us.

Sometimes, I'll admit, I was scared this day would never come. It had always been the little fear in the back of my mind that Liam would never meet his father, that the only way he'd know his father was through the stories I told him.

But now, I don't have to afraid anymore. My son will know his father, and though I wish this moment could have happened sooner, I'm so grateful that it is happening at all.

"Liam, let's sit down for a minute. I have to talk to you."

I sit down on the nearby bench, and Liam follows me, a worried expression on his small face. "Did something bad happen?"

"No, baby. It's something good. Something really good."

"Then why does it look like you're about to cry?"

"These are happy tears."

Liam looks at me in confusion. He's too little to understand that sometimes, people cry when they are happy too.

"Listen," I say, taking his little hands into mine. "You remember how we always talked about your daddy, and how he was away on an important mission but that one day, he would come home to us?"

Liam nods. "Is Daddy coming home soon?"

"Even better. He's already here. Look over there." I point to Angel. "See that man standing there by the car? That's him. That's your daddy."

Liam stares at Angel, his eyes growing wide. I haven't seen him this excited since he saw a man dressed up as Spider Man at the local comic book store with Xander.

"Why don't you go over there and say hello to him? He's really excited to finally see you."

Liam hops up from the bench, his book bag falling to the ground in the process, and takes off running. My heart warms at the sight of Liam throwing his arms around his father.

"Daddy, you're here! You're really here!"

By the time I pick up Liam's bag and walk over there, Angel has picked Liam up, the two still locked in a tight embrace.

"I'm so glad to meet you, son."

Liam turns to look at his father and smiles. "Are you home for good, Daddy?"

Angel nods. "Yes. I'm home for good."

"Good, 'cause Mommy really missed you!"

I'm all tears now, and Angel casts a glance in my direction.

"There were so many times I thought I'd never get to see this moment."

"You're crying again, Mommy."

I wipe a tear rolling down my cheek now. "I know. Sometimes when people are very, very happy, they cry. I know it doesn't make sense, baby."

Angel motions for me to come closer with his free hand, and seconds later, I'm in his arms. He's got one arm around me, one arm around Liam, and we stand that way in the parking lot, the three of us all locked in an embrace, until Liam suggests we go home.

* * *

 **a/n:** My absolute favorite chapter in this entire story! Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! But there's more...will post pt. 2 tomorrow!


	63. Home, Pt 2

**CHAPTER 63 – HOME, PT 2**

Back at the house, Liam takes my hand. He wants to show me his room. "Come on, Daddy!" he urges, tugging on my hand a little tighter when I don't immediately move.

I let Liam lead me up the steps, smiling at Buffy as she follows the both of us.

Just hours ago when I found out I had a son, a part of me was nervous. Not so much about the father part. Well, maybe just a little. But I was nervous it would take Liam a while to warm up to me. After all, we'd only just met. I was pleasantly surprised when Liam latched on to me, almost as if we'd known each other all along.

Liam leads us down the hall toward Buffy's old bedroom. At the door, Liam stops, his arms outstretched as he presents his bedroom. "Here's my room!"

"I've been here before."

Liam looks up at me, a puzzled look on his face. "You have?"

"This used to be your mother's room. It looks a lot different now."

Where there was once a queen-size bed, a twin size bed now takes its place. By the bed, a small bookshelf loaded with children's books sits against the wall. On the opposite wall, a small child's dresser that wasn't there before stands, and in the corner, there's a kid-size desk. A few crayons lie on the surface in a haphazard manner.

"Let me show you my toys!" A toy chest sits beside the desk, and Liam begins to rummage through it. Meanwhile, I spot something familiar and can't resist picking it up.

"That's Mr. Gordo," Liam says, seeing me holding the stuffed pig.

"Yeah, I know, I remember him. He looks pretty…old now."

"Yeah, I had him since I was a baby."

"He's been around longer than that," Buffy says, taking the pig from me. "Mr. Gordo has gotten us both through some tough times." She holds the pig lovingly, playing with his curly tail.

The sound of a phone ringing has Buffy looking toward the door. "I'm going to go get that and let you two spend some time together."

She hands the pig back to me and kisses me quickly before running out of the bedroom, and I stare at the doorway until Liam gets my attention.

"Daddy, look at this!"

* * *

The cordless phone is on my nightstand, and when I answer it, I hear Willow's slightly annoyed voice on the other end.

"Buffy, are you running late?"

"Late? What are you talking about?" I take the phone out of the bedroom and head back down to the hallway toward Liam's room.

"Well, Dawn's done with class, and I'm done with my paper, and we've been here at the coffee shop waiting for you. Dawn said you were going to come over after you picked up Liam from preschool."

"Oh, gosh, Will, I'm so sorry. I forgot. But I have a really good excuse for forgetting." I peek into Liam's room, seeing Liam dump out his collection of action figures on the floor next to his father. I still can't believe they're in the same room together.

" _She forgot, didn't she_?" I hear Dawn say in the background.

"Can you come over? Something's happened. Something big. Can you two just come over?"

Willow says they'll be here soon, and Angel looks up as I hang up the phone. "That was Will. I invited her and Dawn over. I hope you don't mind."

"No, not at all."

"Here, Daddy, you can play with this one."

A slow smile spreads across Angel's face as Liam places a Star Wars action figure into his palm. I sit down on the bed, place my hand on his shoulder as he and Liam sit on the floor. "It's overwhelming, huh?"

Angel nods. "I just…I can't believe I've missed so much."

"Hey, Liam? Why don't we show Daddy all your toys later, and how about instead, we all go downstairs and have some ice cream? Maybe we could show Daddy some pictures and catch him up on what he's been missing."

Liam is agreeable to this, as he usually is whenever ice cream is involved. We all gather the action figures scattered on the floor and put them back into the container, then head downstairs.

"Liam, tell Daddy what your favorite flavor of ice cream is."

Liam looks up at his father and smiles. "I like cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip the best!"

Angel laughs. "Really? Me too."

"Mommy likes it too."

Liam runs ahead of us to the kitchen, and Angel and I pause for a moment at the foot of the stairs.

"You okay?" I ask him.

Angel nods. "I'm fine. Better than fine. It's just that there was a time when I never thought I'd have children at all."

"You'll be a great father. He loves you already."

Angel smiles. "He's so beautiful, Buffy. It's just so amazing that something as wonderful as Liam came from our love."

"I know, it is pretty amazing, isn't it?"

"Hey, you guys coming?" Liam steps out of the kitchen, holding three spoons in his hand, the only thing he would have been able to reach.

"We're coming, Liam," I say to him. I ruffle his hair as the three of us head to the kitchen.

* * *

In the living room, three empty bowls sit on the coffee table as the three of us sit on the couch. Buffy and Liam have me sandwiched in the middle, and there's a photo album spread before us.

"That's me!" Liam leans against my arm and points to a picture of a newborn baby.

"That was when he was first born," Buffy says to me softly. "He was just a couple hours old."

There's more pictures of newborn Liam on the page, including one of a glowing, smiling Buffy holding Liam in her arms. I can see the sadness in her eyes though, and it makes my heart ache all over again. I place my arm around her shoulder and pull her a little closer. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

"Angel, you don't have to keep apologizing. I know you would have been there if you could."

The sound of footsteps on the porch interrupt our moment, and seconds later, a tall girl with long brown hair walks in.

"Buffy?"

 _It's Dawn._

I almost don't recognize her seeing as how she doesn't exactly look like a kid anymore.

"In the living room," Buffy calls out. "Look who's here."

Dawn turns her head and stares at us, her jaw dropping seconds later. "Oh my god! Angel?"

I don't even have time to answer before she runs over to me, throwing her arms around my neck.

"Hey, Dawn."

"Oh my god, I can't believe you're here!"

I hug her back just as tightly. I've always liked Dawn. She reminds me of my own little sister.

"What's going on here?"

I look over Dawn's shoulder, seeing Willow standing in the foyer. When she spots me, she has a nearly identical expression as Dawn. "Oh my god."

"Auntie Willow! My daddy's home!"

Dawn moves aside to sit on the couch beside me while Liam grabs Willow's hand, tugging her toward the living room. I stand up and walk around the coffee table, meeting them halfway.

Willow stares at me, still shocked. "Oh wow. It's really you. You're back!"

"Hey, Willow."

She moves forward and hugs me. "Angel, where were you?"

I pull away, and answer that question the best way I know how. "Somewhere far away from home."

Buffy sidles up next to me, grabbing hold of my arm and pressing her head against my shoulder. "He's finally home now, Will."

"Buffy, I'm so happy for you!"

Willow hugs Buffy then, and for a moment, it feels like old times. Buffy and her best friend.

"I see why coffee was the last thing on your mind!" Willow says, laughing.

Buffy pulls away and grabs hold of my arm again. "I had no idea when I woke up this morning how wonderful this day would turn out. Honey?" She looks up at me, smiling. "Are you up for seeing a few more people?"

"Yeah, I'd love to see everyone."

"Good, because I think this calls for a celebration. I'm going to make some calls." Buffy gives me a quick kiss before heading out of the living room.

Willow moves to sit on the chair, and I sit back down on the couch next to Dawn and Liam. Liam promptly crawls into my lap and grabs another photo album from the coffee table.

I must have been smiling, because Willow then speaks. "You must be so shocked about everything that's happened here."

"Yeah, and the biggest shock of all is this little guy right here." I hold on to Liam a little tighter.

"Surprise, _Daddy_!" Dawn laughs. "How does it feel?"

"It's the best feeling in the world. But I hate that I've missed so much. I wish I could have been here for all this, and believe me, I wanted to come home more than anything. It just wasn't possible though until now. But I'm glad that if I couldn't be here, at least Buffy had you all to help her."

Willow frowns as she looks down, averting her gaze from me. "Angel? I have a confession to make." She looks up, a sad expression on her face, and stares at me. "I wasn't there for Buffy as much as I should have been. I mean, in the beginning, sure, I researched every spell I could think of to help bring you back, but nothing ever seemed to work. And by that point, I just didn't believe you would ever come back."

"I sort of lost hope too," Dawn says in a small voice. "Not that I wanted to. I wanted to believe that you would come back, you know, for Buffy's sake. And for Liam's too. But it seemed like no matter what we did, nothing ever brought you back. Buffy never stopped trying though. She never gave up."

"I just wish we hadn't too," Willow says.

"Are you mad, Angel?"

"Mad? No, of course not. Don't beat yourself up on that. There was nothing either of you could have done anyway. All of the spells in the world wouldn't have brought me back. Where I was, there was no magic in that world."

Willow stares at me, surprised. "A world with no magic?"

"It's a long story, but in Astoria, the use of magic was taken away from the people who used it for good. So with no magic, no more portals. No one got in, or out, of Astoria. So no matter what you would have done, you couldn't have brought me back. It was only when magic was finally restored that I was able to come home."

"Daddy, look, there's you." Liam points to a picture in the album, one I had long forgotten about. "What are you eating?"

"That's when your mother and I went out for sushi."

"What's sushi?"

"It's a Japanese dish."

"Yeah, a Japanese dish of raw fish," Dawn adds.

Liam looks at me and scowls. "Eww, yuck!"

"It's not just raw fish," I say with a laugh.

"Liam's a very picky eater," Willow says. "He wouldn't like it."

"Unless you put syrup on it," Dawn says. "Then he'll eat anything."

Liam flips the page of the album, and a familiar picture catches my eye. "Hey, I know this picture." I lift up the plastic sheet and take the photograph out.

"What are you doing, Daddy?"

"This is my favorite picture of your mother." I look up, smiling at Dawn and Willow. "I had this same picture in my wallet, and I looked at it every day until it became all dog-eared. Back then, it was the only way I got to see Buffy. And then one day, my enemies captured me. They knew this photograph was important to me, so they burned it, right in front of me. When I lost that picture, it was liking losing Buffy all over again."

"Well you're not going to lose me again."

I look up, and Buffy stands in the living room, smiling at me. She walks back over to the couch and rejoins us.

"I was just telling them about this picture."

"Oh yeah, I remember that one. Didn't I give that picture to you?"

"Yeah, you did. And I kept it in my wallet."

"But they burned it," Liam says.

Buffy frowns. "They burned it?"

"I want to put this picture back in my wallet." I look to Buffy, giving her a smile. "It's my favorite picture of you."

"Daddy, do you want a picture of me too? For your wallet?"

I smile at Liam, placing a kiss on his forehead. "I definitely want one of you too."

* * *

I called just about everyone I knew to share my good news and invited them over. I even called Giles all the way in England. Of course, being that he was on the other side of the Atlantic, he couldn't exactly come for a quick visit, but I could hear in his voice how happy he was for me.

When Angel said he was up for a few visitors, he probably didn't realize I was going to invite _everyone_. I wasn't sure about Xander though, seeing as how the two of them had never exactly gotten along. But he surprised me and said he wanted to stop by, saying he had to see it to believe it.

"Angel," Xander says with a nod when he arrives.

"Xander," Angel replies.

"Welcome back, man."

"Thanks."

And that, evidently, is the extent of their conversation.

Anya, thank god for her, moves forward and breaks the awkwardness. "Wow, this is Angel?"

Angel smiles. "You know, Anya, we've actually met a few times before."

"I know, but you look so much different than last time. You look...old."

"Thanks...I guess?"

Anya suddenly frowns. "Oh, hold still for a moment." She leans forward into Angel's personal space and reaches to touch his hair.

"What are you doing? Oww!" Angel rubs his head. "What did you do that for?"

Anya smiles and holds up the hair she plucked for inspection. "You had a gray hair. I was pulling it for you. You're welcome."

Liam runs over to us and grabs Angel's hand. "Uncle Xander, you were wrong! My daddy did come home!"

Xander nods. "Yeah, buddy, I guess I was wrong about that."

"Come here, Daddy. I want to show you something!" Liam drags Angel away.

"Do you have anything to eat?" Anya asks me.

"There's some pizza in the kitchen. Help yourself."

"Great."

Once it's just me and Xander, I turn to him and smile. "So, you believe it now?"

"Yeah. I was wrong." He gives me a smile. "I'm glad I was wrong."

"You're glad to see Angel back? Really?"

Xander laughs. "I don't think we're ever going to be best buds, but if him being here puts that smile back on your face, then yeah, I'm glad he's back."

"This is the happiest day of my life."

"I'm sorry for all the things I said to you these past few years. I know I was such a jerk sometimes."

"That's okay, Xander. I never believed you anyway. Look, I know you and Angel don't really like each other, and trust me, I don't expect you two to become all chummy now. But I would like for you both to at least try be cordial around each other. Do you think you two can do that?"

Xander is quiet for a moment, pondering it maybe, and then nods. "Yeah, I'm sure we could do that."

"Really? So I can let you two be in the same room with each other and you promise me there won't be any arguments?"

"Well…" Xander starts, and I can tell he's reluctant to promise me _that_. A pounding on the door, however, saves Xander from saying anything to get him into trouble. "I'll get it!" he says as he rushes to the door.

"We're not done with this conversation!" I holler back at him, laughing.

Xander opens the front door, and before he can even open it all the way, Cordelia pushes her way inside with Doyle following behind.

"Where is he? Where's Angel?" Cordelia asks.

"Hello to you too, Cordy."

Cordelia ignores Xander, and when she spots Angel across the room, she runs over and throws her arms around him. If I hadn't known she was so happy and in love with Doyle, I might have been jealous.

"Angel, you're here!"

Angel laughs, then gently puts Cordelia back on her feet. Then Doyle steps forward, and Angel hugs him as well.

I sidle up to them, reaching to hold Angel's arm as I wrap my other arm around him.

"Lorne says he's sorry he couldn't make it tonight but he says hello," Doyle tells him.

"And that he fully expects you to visit him at Caritas and sing for once!" Cordelia says.

Angel smiles. "Believe me, I'm so happy, I'll sing at the top of my lungs and not even care how I look."

"So, how's it feel to find out you're a father?" Doyle asks him.

"Couldn't be happier," he answers, his gaze following Liam across the room.

"Well, I think this calls for a celebration!" Doyle says, then turns to me. "You've got any beer?"

"I don't have any beer, but I do have plenty of wine."

"Wine will do!"

"Okay, want to give me a hand?"

Doyle nods. "I'd love to."

* * *

Buffy and Doyle head to the kitchen, and I stare at Cordelia. She hasn't changed much in appearance, only she looks happier.

"So, you and Doyle, huh?"

Cordelia smiles brightly. "Yeah, me and Doyle."

"I was rooting for you two to get together."

"You were?"

"Well, I knew Doyle had a crush on you. But he was nervous of what you would think of his demon heritage."

"I don't care about that. I love him. And I don't know why it took me so long to realize that. But I love him, I do."

"Woo!" Doyle comes out of the kitchen holding a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses. "Buffy's got the good stuff!"

"Even if he does drink a little too much," she adds.

"Bloody hell, I don't believe it. Peaches is back."

Spike stands in the doorway wearing a stunned expression on his face. I turn to Buffy who had just walked into the living room. "How many people did you invite?"

Buffy smiles. "I called everyone."

* * *

I'm usually not one for social gatherings, but for once, I'm glad to be here in this house full of people I have missed. Well, maybe I haven't exactly missed everyone, like Xander and Spike. But still, I'm glad to see everyone. It reminds me that I finally made it home.

Dawn, Cordy, Willow, and Oz are all in the living room, along with a nice girl named Tara who seems shy but friendly. Doyle's raiding the wine cabinet…again. Spike's on the back porch smoking. And I think Anya and Xander are eating what remains of the pizza in the kitchen.

Buffy sidles up next to me and takes my arm. "Hey, there's someone else I'd like you to meet."

"Sure."

Buffy walks me over to a dark-skinned man with a warm smile. "Angel, this is Robin, my boss and good friend actually. Robin, this is Angel."

Robin extends his hand to shake Angel's. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"It's nice to finally be home. So you're the principal at the new high school?"

"Yeah, and as crazy as it sounds, I actually sort of like the job." Robin laughs.

"Robin's mother was a slayer," Buffy tells me. "He sort of gets the hellmouth."

"Good thing," I tell him. "We need people like that around here."

"Robin, I know it's the beginning of the school year, so I hate to ask, but..."

"You want a week off?" Robin says with a grin.

"Do you mind? I mean, it's been a really long time since Angel and I've seen each other."

Robin smiles. "I don't mind at all. Take a week off. In fact, I insist."

* * *

I sit next to Angel on the couch as I listen to him recount the story of his last four years in Astoria again. Everyone, of course, wanted to know where he had been. I'm just glad that he's actually here.

After a while, Liam gets a little fidgety with all of the adults conversing, and Cordelia whispers something to Doyle.

"Liam, come here for a sec," Cordelia says.

I watch with curiosity as Cordelia whispers something in his ear. She apparently hands him a small object, and seconds later, Liam walks over to us.

"I got something for you, Daddy."

"You do? What is it?"

"Hold out your hand!"

Angel holds out his hand, and Liam places a small black car into his palm. Almost an exact replica of his Plymouth GTX.

"Hey, look at that!" he says, examining the car up close. "It's my car!" He looks around at us, a question in his eyes. "Say, whatever happened to my car anyway? Is it still around?"

A smile spreads across Cordelia's face, and I suddenly realize what she must have planned. "Why don't you take a look outside and see for yourself?"

"You're kidding, right? You still have it?"

Cordelia laughs. "Of course, Angel! Doyle and I held on to it for you. We took two vehicles up here. I figured you'd want it back."

"That's a sweet ride, by the way," Doyle adds, sidling up to Cordelia. "Well what are you waiting for? Go outside and see for yourself!"

Angel gets up from the couch and heads to the front door with Liam on his heels. We all then head outside, and sure enough, parked by the curb is the old '67 Plymouth.

"I can't believe this! You saved my car!"

Angel hops in the driver's seat, seeming as giddy as a child on Christmas morning, while Liam opens the door and crawls into the back.

"This is cool, Daddy!"

"You like this car, buddy?"

"Yeah, I like convertibles! I like it better than the one Giles had!"

I can't resist anymore. I open the passenger door and slide into the seat beside him. "I missed this car too."

Angel reaches for my hand and smiles at me. "Remember how I used to take you for a drive down the highway with the top down?"

I nod. "With the ocean on one side, and the smell of salt in the air."

"And with the wind blowing in our face."

"And the sun setting over the ocean."

We gaze at each other, apparently both lost in the moment, and then Angel leans toward me and we kiss.

"They're kissing again!" Liam says.

"Alright you two, break it up," Doyle says. "There will be plenty of time for that later." Doyle holds up the keys, then tosses them to Angel. "Take her for a spin around the block!"

Angel wastes no time putting the keys into the ignition and starting the engine. He then looks at me, then at Liam. "You two want to go for a ride?"

"Yeah!" Liam shouts from the back.

I hesitate. "Liam really needs to be in his car seat."

"How about just down the street and back?" Angel suggests. "I'll drive slow, I promise."

"Okay, but just a quick ride." I put my seatbelt on and turn around towards the back. "Put your seatbelt on, Liam."

"Ready?" Angel asks me.

Once Liam has his belt fastened, I nod. "Ready."

Angel looks toward the group standing by the sidewalk. "Well, we'll see you all in little while." He then puts the car into gear, revs the engine a couple of times, and we're gone.

* * *

It's late, and by now, everyone has finally left. I stand at the door, waving to Dawn and Willow who are the last to leave. "Goodnight. Drive safe." Once they're both safely in the car, I close the door. Angel is standing behind me, smiling.

"Wow, Dawn's really done some growing up," Angel says. "The last time I saw her, she was just a kid."

"I know. It's embarrassing when your little sister towers over you."

Angel wraps his arms around me and makes a point at looking down at me. "Well that's not hard to do."

I hit him lightly on the shoulder. "Hey!"

"Teasing," he whispers before giving me a kiss.

"There's some things I should tell you about Dawn, but it can wait until tomorrow. Right now, I think it's _way past_ _somebody's bedtime_ ," I say a little louder.

Liam looks up from the floor and stares at me, in full-pout mode. "No, Mommy! Just a little longer!"

I shake my head, standing my ground. "No, I don't think so. I've already let you stay up this late."

"But I want me and Daddy to play with my guys!" Liam protests, holding up his action figures.

"You can play with your guys tomorrow."

"Aww!" Liam pouts.

Angel simply stands by, watching this scene with amusement.

I kneel down on the floor next to Liam and start to put away the toys. "Tell you what, baby. Why don't you take your bath, put on your jammies, and tonight, Daddy can tuck you in and read you your bedtime story."

Liam smiles. He likes this idea. "Okay!"

"Now go upstairs and pick out your jammies. I'll be upstairs in a minute to help you."

"Okay!" Liam throws the rest of his action figures into the box, runs to his father, hugs his legs, then runs to the stairs.

I look at Angel and smile. "Look at that. He's known you for less than a day and already, you're his favorite parent."

Angel smiles back at me. "You're so good with him."

I stand up from the floor. "I have my moments."

"I always knew you'd be a good mother someday."

"Please. I killed my goldfish!" I say, laughing.

Angel wraps his arms around me. "I still knew you'd be a wonderful mother. And a fish is a lot different than a kid."

I give him a smile. "True."

Angel pulls me closer and presses his lips to mine again.

"I GOT MY JAMMIES!" Liam yells from upstairs.

We both pull away from the kiss and laugh.

Angel looks up. "I think someone's almost ready for bed."

* * *

Liam usually dawdles in the bathtub, spending more time playing than washing. But tonight after a mere three minutes, he gets out of the tub and announces he's done. I don't have the heart to tell him he forgot about his hair, but I'm so happy I let it slide. We'll just wash it tomorrow night.

Five minutes later, Liam is dressed in his pajamas and ready for bed.

Angel sits on the edge of the bed, looking on in amusement as Liam selects roughly ten to twenty books for his father to read.

"Liam, I don't think Daddy can read _all_ of these to you tonight. Just pick out three of your favorites."

"But I have so many favorites!" he protests.

"I told you he takes after you," I say to Angel.

"No kidding," he says, laughing.

"You pick, Daddy!" Liam pushes the stack of books toward him.

Angel looks through the books, grabbing two dinosaur books and one about a monster under the bed. "How about we read these? And we'll read the other ones some other time."

"Yeah, I love those!"

"Okay, under the covers," I say, and Liam climbs under his comforter, allowing me to tuck him in.

"You stay too, Mommy." Liam pats the space beside him, and somehow, the three of us squeeze into his little twin bed, Liam in the middle, and Angel starts the story.

Sometime during the third story, I realize how quiet Liam is. Looking down, I realize the reason why…he's fast asleep.

"Angel?"

Angel stops in mid-sentence and glances in my direction. "Yeah?"

I nod toward Liam. "He's asleep."

Angel smiles. "I didn't realize."

I stand up, straightening the covers and making sure Liam is tucked in tight, while Angel places the books back on Liam's bookshelf.

"He's probably just worn out from all of the excitement today," I whisper.

"What about you? Are you worn out from all of the excitement today?" A slow smile spreads on his lips.

"Actually, I was thinking how very awake I am. What about you?" I smile back at him, hoping he's taken the hint.

Thirty seconds later, we're in the hallway making out like teenagers. I can't help the laugh that comes out when Angel presses me against the wall and kisses the ticklish spot on my neck.

"Shh!" Angel warns, then continues to kiss me again in the exact same spot.

"We better…you know…take this…to the bedroom," I say, my breath ragged as I tear at the buttons on his shirt while Angel keeps trying to kiss my neck. They don't want to cooperate and I can't get them undone fast enough.

Angel picks me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me to the bedroom. He shuts the door with his foot and is halfway to the bed when I remember the lock.

"Wait! Lock the door! Lock the door!"

Angel tracks back, locking the door, then proceeds to carry me to the bed. He then presses me down onto the mattress as he kisses me. I wrap my arms around him and pull him closer.

 _Not close enough_. I want his clothes off. I want to feel his skin against mine.

As if reading my mind, Angel sits up and undoes the last remaining buttons on his shirt before taking it off and tossing it to the floor. I take off my shirt at the same time. Angel then reaches behind me and unclasps my bra. He tosses the garment onto the floor and smiles at me in appreciation.

"God you're so beautiful," he says.

"And you're wearing too many clothes," I tell him. I'm already undoing the button of my pants.

It then becomes sort of a race to see which of us can get completely naked first. Angel cheats, standing up to shuck off his pants, boxers, and socks while I'm managing all of this sitting down. But I don't care, because then he slides my panties off for me. God, it's sexy when he does that. He always smiles, like he's unwrapping a present he knows he'll enjoy.

"I've been wanting to get you alone all night," he says.

"Me too. So no more waiting."

Angel smiles at me. "No more waiting." He moves over me again, but this time, our clothes are finally off and out of the way.

He kisses me as he settles himself between my legs. I feel his arousal poking at my entrance before he gently slides into me, filling me completely. We begin to rock together and settle into a rhythm.

I don't think I'll ever get tired of making love to Angel. I've been so starved without Angel for so long that I don't think I can get enough of him. I wrap my legs around his waist, bringing him deeper inside of me.

Angel moves out of me, then thrusts into me again, and again. A ripple of pleasure sours through my body each time. Angel covers my mouth with his to muffle the sounds I'm making.

"Are you close?" Angel asks a while later.

"Uh-huh," I manage to get out.

"Good, me too," Angel's thrusts become harder and faster.

We come at the same time and both laugh as we struggle to keep our voices down. Before, we could be as loud as we wanted to be in the bedroom. Now we're parents and have to behave.

Angel moves to roll over, but my legs are still wrapped around him and he's still inside me. I tighten my legs around him so he can't go anywhere. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Nowhere," he says with a smile. "I just thought you'd like to be on top next time."

"Good answer."

* * *

"I can't leave this bed," Buffy whines.

"You sound a little disappointed about that," I tease her.

Buffy looks at me and smiles. "I just meant that I don't want to get up, but I have to. I'm hungry."

"After all that pizza you ate earlier? You're hungry?"

Buffy grins at me. "Well, what can I say? After that sex marathon, I guess I worked up an appetite."

"Now that I think about it…I'm a little hungry too."

"Okay, that settles it. I'm going to run downstairs to raid the kitchen for some snacks. I'll be right back." She gives me a quick kiss, then slowly slides out from under the covers and grabs her robe from the hook on the door.

"Anything chocolate's good," I tell her, and she flashes me a knowing smile before leaving the room.

Once alone, I turn on the lamp and rummage through the nightstand drawer for the Claddagh ring I hid in here earlier. I open the small velvet box, seeing the ring still nestled in the velvet lining. I can't wait to give this to her.

But then, a thought crosses my mind. _Is it too much, too soon?_ After all, we have been separated for four years. Should I wait? Have we had enough excitement for one day? Or is giving her this ring long overdue? I'd been more than ready to give this to her the night I went away. It's hard to decide. I know I want to give it to her. I know I want to marry her. But I want it to be the right time, the right time for both of us.

I hear Buffy's footsteps down the hall and quickly hide the ring box under my pillow.

"Okay, I got—what did you just put under your pillow?"

Apparently, not quick enough.

I give her a smile, deciding to play it off. "Nothing."

"No, I saw you! I saw you hide something under your pillow! What is it?" Buffy forgets the snacks, tossing them at the foot of the bed before pouncing on top of me. "What are you hiding?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I can't hide the laughter in my voice. She knows something is up.

I attempt to block her as Buffy reaches for my pillow, but Buffy remembers my ticklish spots and when I'm distracted, she spots the ring box and grabs it. She opens the box and stares at the ring for a few seconds with her eyes wide. "Oh my god."

"I was just waiting for a good time to give that to you."

"Now's a good time. Oh my god, Angel, where did this come from?"

"I've had that ring for over four years. It was in my pocket that night. Remember I was planning a surprise for you?"

Buffy nods, still staring at the ring. "Yes."

"I was going to ask you to marry me that night."

Buffy is quiet for a moment, and then, I see her chin start to quiver. I reach out to her, gently cupping her face. "Hey…it's okay."

"No, it's not okay, Angel! It's not fair! Those four years were robbed from us and we can never get it back! It's not fair, Angel! You should have been here. We should have been able to be together. Why is the universe always against us?"

I take my hands in hers. "I know it seems that way, but think of everything we've overcome to be together. Me being a vampire, you a slayer, my curse, the breakups and separations. I even went to Hell and back. And still, we managed to find our way back to each other, each and every time."

This brings a smile to her face, and maybe what I'm saying is helping.

"You're right about the universe. It does always seem to be against us. But you know what? I think we're due for a break. I think that's the last hurdle. And from now on? It's going to be smooth sailing from here on out."

"You really think so?" she asks me.

"I know so. Give me your hand."

Buffy extends her left hand, and gently, I slip the ring on her finger. It's a perfect fit. "I've been waiting four years to do that."

"Did we just officially get engaged?"

I smile at her. "I don't know. Depends. Do you still want to marry me?"

Buffy laughs. "Are you kidding me? We spent four years apart. I'm not letting you out of my sight! You're stuck with me."

"Good, because I'm going to spend the rest of my life loving you."

Buffy maneuvers herself into my lap and places her arms around my neck. She smiles at me, a glint of seduction in her eyes. "Why don't you start now?"

We forgot the snacks.

* * *

Buffy is asleep, exhausted and spent. I'm tired too, but find myself unable to sleep. My mind won't rest, and all I can seem to do is to watch her sleep with a grin plastered to my face.

The moonlight hits the diamond on her finger. I'm glad now that I didn't wait to give it to her. I've been waiting more than four years to give that ring to her. I can't wait to start the rest of our lives together.

Buffy shifts onto her side. "Angel?" she says in her sleep.

I gather her into my arms and she nuzzles closer to me.

"I'm here," I whisper to her and kiss her forehead. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

Before I open my eyes, I'm awake, and I feel Angel's lips against my neck.

"Am I dreaming?"

I open my eyes, and Angel stares right back at me.

"You're not dreaming. I'm really here. I'm home."

"Okay, good. Just checking."

"Good morning."

"Good morning."

He moves to kiss my lips and at the same time, maneuvers himself on top of me.

"Mmm…what time is it?"

Angel glances at the clock on the nightstand. "A little after seven."

"I'm sorry, honey, but we don't have time to do it again."

"Are you sure? Because I can be really quick if you want me to."

I laugh. "That sounds tempting but…Liam will probably get up soon, if he isn't up already."

"Does Liam usually get up before you?"

"Yeah, but I try to get up at the same time so that I can get his breakfast ready. But…it _is_ Saturday morning. More than likely if he is up, he's probably occupied with watching cartoons."

"So…are you saying we _do_ have time?" Angel flashes me a seductive grin.

"If you be really quick."

He leans down and kisses me again, but then—

"Mommy! I can't reach the cereal!" Liam shouts from out in the hallway, interrupting our moment. Seconds later, he knocks on the door. "Mommy, are you awake?" He tries to open the door too, but I locked it again last night. "Hey, why's the door locked?"

"You were right the first time. We don't have time for this," Angel whispers, laughing.

"Mommy?"

"Liam, go downstairs and watch cartoons. I'll be down in a few minutes, okay?"

"And Daddy too?"

"I'll be downstairs too, Liam," Angels says.

"Okay!"

Liam runs back down the hallway, his footsteps echoing down the stairs seconds later.

"Welcome to parenthood," I say with smile. "The job you can never take a break from."

I start to get out of bed, but Angel stops me. "Why don't you rest for a while, take your time getting up? I'll go downstairs and make sure he gets something to eat."

"Really?"

"Sure. Besides, I have a lot of catching up to do with my little boy. And I'm here now. You don't have to do everything by yourself anymore."

"Oh wow, I can't remember the last time I was allowed to sleep in and not feel guilty about it! Have I mentioned how much I love having you back?"

Angel gives me one more kiss, then rolls out of bed. I watch lazily as he throws some clothes on and heads to the bathroom. He comes out a minute later and smiles at me again. "Just come down when you're ready."

"Hey, Angel?"

He stops at the door, already halfway out the room. "Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too," he says, then closes the door behind him.

* * *

When I finally make it downstairs, I find Angel and Liam in the kitchen, which at the moment, is filled with all kinds of wonderful breakfast smells.

"I forgot you were such a good cook," I say to get their attention.

"Mommy, Daddy's making us French toast and bacon and eggs!"

Angel smiles at me from across the room. "I figured we could have a big breakfast this morning."

I move to stand behind Angel and wrap my arms around his waist. I take a peek at the bacon in the frying pans. "Smells delicious."

"It is!" Liam says, wolfing down a slice and reaching for another.

"Leave some of that for us too, okay?" I touch his head and ruffle his hair.

I still feel like I'm dreaming. Is Angel really here? Are we actually having breakfast together as a family? I never thought I'd see this day.

"Alright, bacon's done," Angel announces, putting the rest of it on a plate.

"Mommy, are those happy tears?"

"What?"

"You're crying."

I reach to touch my face, feeling the tear roll down. "Oh, I guess I am. Yeah, baby, these are happy tears."

Angel comes over to me and wraps his arms around me.

"Mommy, are you and Daddy going to kiss _again_?" Liam asks.

I laugh. "Yes, we are."

"Get used to it, kiddo," Angel says, "You'll be seeing us kiss a lot." He then kisses me.

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed part 2! The last chapter (the epilogue) will be posted tomorrow. It's fairly long though. I can't believe this story is almost over!


	64. Epilogue

**-EPILOGUE-**

 ** _Two Months Later_**

Buffy walks into the dining room, her arms full with two pies that smell absolutely delicious. "I hope everyone has room for pumpkin and pecan pie," she says.

"Ugh, not me," Dawn says, pushing her plate away. "I ate way too much turkey."

"Good, more for me," Xander says.

"Not if I beat you to it, mate," Doyle says. He leans toward Giles. "Don't ya just love these American holidays?"

"Looks good," I say to Buffy as she takes her seat back at the table.

"Thank you. I can't believe I actually baked it myself."

"You look good too by the way," I whisper to her, causing her to blush.

From the corner of my eye, I see Cordelia nudge Doyle, and moments later, he stands up, his wine glass raised.

"Everyone, I'd like to make a toast." Doyle looks at Buffy and me, smiling at us both. "To the bride and groom…tomorrow when you walk down the aisle… _finally_ , I hope it to be a day of new beginnings for you both. You two have overcome so many obstacles in your path, more than most of us, and yet, neither of you gave up on the love you felt for one another. That just goes to show how strong your bond really is. I wish you many years of wedded bliss, may your family grow, and may you be as happy fifty years from now as you are today. To Buffy and Angel."

"To Buffy and Angel," everyone echoes as they clink their glasses together.

"Cheers!" Liam shouts, raising his juice glass and Buffy laughs as she clinks her glass to his.

Buffy then looks to me, giving me a smile. "I'm so happy, Angel. I can't wait for tomorrow."

"Me neither," I whisper as we kiss, ignoring the glances from our friends and giggling from Liam.

* * *

From the bedroom window, I can see a flurry of activity going on below in the backyard. Chairs are being set up, flowers are being arranged. They've even set up the trellis at the front of the aisle already.

I can't believe it's my wedding day.

But as I look to the sky, I can't seem to bring a smile to my face.

"Buffy, stop looking at the sky!" Willow says for probably the hundredth time, pulling me away. "It's not going to rain!"

"It's _sprinkling_ now!"

"Okay, so it's raining a little, but it's not going to be a washout, I promise! I checked the weather report three times already."

"But it's supposed to be sunny! All day! I wanted a sunny day! Angel wanted a sunny day! We deserve a sunny wedding day!"

"And you'll get a sunny wedding day! Trust me! That shower is moving to the east and by the time the wedding starts, it'll be clear by then. Look, don't worry about anything, okay? Leave the worrying to me. I'm your maid-of-honor. Worrying about things is _my_ job. And if it _does_ rain, which it won't, then don't worry. I'll whip up a magic tent or something, okay? Now relax, alright?"

I take a deep breath, then smile at Willow. "You're right. I shouldn't let the little things get to me. Rain or shine, it's still going to be a wonderful day. Angel's here and today's our wedding day, and that's the most important thing of all."

"Exactly. Now, let me go get Cordelia so she can fix your hair, and I'll go find your makeup bag."

Willow leaves, and I stare out the window again, frowning as the wind and rain begin to pick up.

* * *

"Nervous?" Doyle asks me as I stare in the living room mirror, straightening my bowtie. Sometimes I don't know how I went so long without being able to see my reflection.

"Just a little," I admit. "Not about marrying Buffy, but just nervous that something will go wrong."

"Everything will be fine, Angelcakes!" Lorne says. "Quit waiting for the other shoe to drop!"

I turn around to face them. "You're right. I should stop worrying. Everything will go just fine today. I just hope the rain lets up. Buffy will be disappointed if it doesn't."

The doorbell rings, and Lorne looks to it. "I'll get that."

"You know, many cultures believe that rain on your wedding day is good luck," Doyle says.

"Tell that to Buffy. Willow says she's in a panic."

"Angel?" Lorne calls.

"Yeah?"

"You have some guests."

Roman, Althea, and the children enter the house.

"Angel!" the children shout as they all run to me. They envelope me in a group hug seconds later, and I'm just a little damp from their wet clothes, but I don't care.

"Hey, you guys! You made it!"

"We wouldn't miss your wedding for anything!" Andromeda says.

"These must be your Astorian friends I've heard so much about," Lorne says. "Welcome!"

"Lorne, Doyle, these are my friends. Roman, Althea, and the children are Andromeda, Myles, and Serena."

"Pleasure to meet you!" Lorne says.

"Likewise," Doyle adds.

"How come your voice sounds different?" Serena asks Doyle.

Doyle laughs. "I speak with an Irish accent."

Myles looks at Lorne quizzically. "Where are you from? You're green but you don't look like you're from Astoria."

"Pylea originally, but I like it here much better."

"I'm so glad you're here," I say to Roman and Althea. "It's good to see you. I hope things are still well in Astoria."

"Everything's fine," Roman says.

"Is everyone else coming?"

Althea nods. "The others will be here shortly."

"But we wanted to get here first!" Serena says.

Andromeda looks at me with a wide grin. "So are you ready to get married?"

"He's almost ready," Doyle says.

"Well, children, we better let Angel finish," Althea says. "Come along, we'll wait for the others."

The children start to protest, but I interrupt. "I'll see you soon. Don't worry."

"I'll show you to your seats," Lorne offers. "I need to check on the flower arrangements anyway."

Roman starts to leave with his family, but I stop him. "Wait, Roman. I have something I wanted to ask you."

"Of course."

"You've been a great friend to me, and I would love for you to stand up front with me. Doyle's my best man, but I could use another groomsman."

Roman smiles. "I'd be honored to."

* * *

After Willow and Cordelia help me with my hair and makeup, I put on the dress. Staring in the mirror, I can't help but think it looks even more amazing than it did when I first tried it on.

"Oh, Buffy, it's so beautiful!" Willow says.

"It really does look stunning," Cordelia says. "Of course, you can never go wrong with Vera Wang."

"I can't believe how lucky I was to get it." I think back to last month's going-out-of-business sale of some boutique in Santa Barbara. Cordelia had told me about it. All wedding dresses were 50-70% off. I had snagged the dress just seconds before another eager bride-to-be was going to grab it.

There's a soft knock on the door, and Cordelia runs over to hold it shut. "Go away, Angel! I told you it's not time to see her yet!"

"It's Dawn."

"And Liam!"

"Oh, okay." Cordelia opens the door, allowing my sister inside. Behind her, Liam, dressed in his tux, follows.

"Oh my god. Buffy, you look amazing!"

"Really?"

"You're so pretty, Mommy!"

"Thanks, baby."

"Is it still raining?" Willow asks.

"No, it stopped. I think the sun will come out soon."

Willow looks at me. "See, I told you."

"Can you make sure all the chairs outside are dry?" I ask Dawn.

"Already done."

"Good. Thank you."

"Mommy, when's it time for you and Daddy to get married?"

"Soon. Hey, Liam, did you see Daddy downstairs?"

"Yeah."

"Can you do a favor for me?

"Uh-huh."

"Go find Daddy and give him a message for me. Tell him that I love him and that I can't wait to be his wife. Can you do that for me?"

"Okay!"

Liam, happy to have a task, runs out of the bedroom.

Dawn closes the bedroom door, then smiles at me. "So, how's the bride? Nervous?"

"Just tired of waiting. What's it like out there?"

"Everyone's starting to arrive. Tell me again why you had to invite Principal Wood and _all_ of my teachers?"

"Dawn, you're in college! You don't see them anymore. Why do you care?"

"Because!" Dawn explains, as if this were explanation enough. "They're still teachers! And they keep coming up to me and asking me all kinds of questions about college. Do you know how awkward it is to make small talk with Principal Wood?"

"What's wrong with Robin?" Cordelia asks. "He seems like a pretty laid-back guy to me. For a principal anyway."

"Cordelia's right. You're lucky you didn't have to suffer though Snyder."

"Okay, let's table this discussion for later," Willow says. "Right now, we've got some important last minute things to take care of."

This is news to me. "Last minute what?"

"You know, Buffy! Something old, something new…"

"Something borrowed, something blue…" Cordelia finishes.

"Oh. Right. Well, my new is my dress."

"We figured you had that part covered," Cordelia says. "I've got your borrowed right here." Cordelia hands me a small box, and inside are two pearl earrings.

"Cordelia, these are beautiful."

"Thanks, I know. And they're also borrowed, so I want them back."

"I promise to return them." I take out the earrings I had in and put in Cordelia's earrings. I do have to admit to myself…they are much nicer than the ones I had.

"Okay, I have your blue!" Willow says. She reaches into the dresser drawer and pulls out a blue lace garter. She spins it around her finger as she walks toward me. "Can't forget this, right?"

"Right, don't want to forget that. So that just leaves now…my old."

"I have your old." Dawn steps forward, holding the small bracelet that mom gave to me before Liam was born. "You should wear Mom's bracelet. Well, I mean, it's your bracelet now of course, but it was Mom's and it was Grandma's before that. I'd say it's old. And since neither Mom or Grandma could be here today, you should wear this in their memories."

"It's perfect, Dawn. Put it on me?"

I extend my arm and Dawn carefully clasps the bracelet around my wrist.

"Well, I think you're all set now," Willow says. "Now you can get married!"

"Not quite time yet," Cordelia says, glancing at the clock on the nightstand.

The door opens again and Liam runs into the bedroom. He pounces on the bed beside me.

"Did you find Daddy, Liam?"

Liam nods excitedly. "Uh-huh! Daddy wanted me to give you a message too."

"Oh? What does he say?"

"He says that he loves you too."

"Anything else?"

Liam nods again. "Yeah. He said he can't wait for the honeymoon!"

"Typical male response," Cordelia remarks with a snort. "Always got that one thing on their mind."

"Mommy, why are you and Daddy going to the beach for your honeymoon? It's too cold to swim and you won't have any fun!"

I smile at the girls, exchanging a knowing glance with them. We all stifle our laughter. "Don't worry, Liam. I'm sure your daddy and I will find some way to entertain ourselves."

* * *

Cordelia and Dawn take Liam and go downstairs to check on the progress of things. I stand by the window again, smiling because the sun has finally come out. Angel and I will get our sunny wedding day after all.

"Want me to go find Giles? Tell him you're ready?" Willow asks.

"Yeah, that would be a good idea." I turn around, and when I do, the light catches something sparkly on Willow's finger. I grab her hand before she leaves, taking Willow a bit by surprise. "Whoa! What is _that_ on your finger?"

"Oh, that? It's uh…it's a ring."

"That's not just any ring, Will! That's a _diamond_!"

"Uh…yeah, it is. It's sort of, you know…" Willow leans forward to whisper, "…an _engagement ring_."

"Oh my god! _Will_! You and Oz are…"

Willow nods, smiling. "Yeah, we're engaged."

" _Willow!"_ I throw my arms around her, making Willow gasp as I knock the breath out of her. "I'm so happy for you!" I pull away, allowing Willow the chance to breathe, and smile at her. "Will! Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Because, Buffy, this is _your_ day! It's about you! I didn't want to go making it all about me. We were going to wait before we said anything."

I raise an eyebrow at her. "And you didn't think anyone would notice that rock on your hand?"

Willow shrugs. "I guess I thought they'd all be focused on you."

"Oh, Willow, I'm so glad I found out. This makes this day even more perfect. I'm so happy for you and Oz! When did it happen?"

"Last night when we got back to our place. I thought Oz had been acting a little weird during dinner. I couldn't figure out why. Turns out he was just nervous."

"Well it's about time. You've only been together what, five, six years?"

"I think Oz was suffering from the typical male fear of commitment. And then Xander and Anya got married. Then Cordelia got married. Then Riley came back and had a wife. And now _you're_ getting married. I guess he finally realized that everyone was moving forward except us."

"Will, I'm so happy for you."

"I know, you said that. And oh! Don't cry! You'll ruin your mascara!"

"Right, no crying! Thanks!"

"Okay, I'm going to go get Giles now. And then, you're going to get married!"

"I can't wait."

* * *

I take the steps one at a time, walking made difficult with the bulk of my wedding dress and the heels I'm wearing with them. The last thing I want is to fall flat on my face before the wedding can even start.

At the foot of the stairs, Giles waits for me. He smiles as he extends his arm, helping me down the last two steps.

"Buffy, you look absolutely stunning."

"Thank you, Giles."

"So, are you ready?"

"Not quite. Giles, before we head out there, I just want to tell you something. It really means a lot to me to have you walk me down the aisle."

"I'm honored you would ask me."

"When I was little, I always imagined it would be my dad walking me down the aisle, but he's let me down so many times. He's not even here today as you can see, on one of the most important days of my life. But you, Giles, you've been there for me, and you've been more of a father to me than he ever was, especially when I needed one the most. I hope you know how much you mean to me. I don't see you just as a watcher, or a mentor. You're like family to me."

A smile spreads across his face, and for a moment, I almost think I see his eyes get watery. "And you're like the daughter I never had. You're family to me as well."

"So, ready to walk me down the aisle, _honorary dad_?"

Giles offers his arm, and I lace mine around it. "I would be delighted."

"Mommy! Mommy!"

I hear the kitchen door slam seconds before Liam appears in the room. "Mommy! C'mere!"

"What, baby? What's wrong?"

"Nothing! Just c'mere!"

Liam grabs my hand, literally pulling me into the kitchen. He leads me to the door and peeks out the window. "Look outside!"

I pull the curtain aside, and there I see him. At the end of the aisle and under a beautifully decorated trellis is Angel, looking extremely gorgeous in his black tuxedo.

"Do you see, Mommy?"

"Oh yes, I see. Your father looks very handsome."

"No, look up! In the sky! It's a rainbow!"

Looking to the sky, I see that Liam is right. If I had wanted any sort of sign of good luck for this day, this had to be it. The rainbow was stunning, and not one of those broken, half-rainbows, but a full arc across the sky.

"My goodness," Giles says, sidling up next to me as he too peers out the window. "That really is quite extraordinary."

"Hey, Mommy? Uncle Doyle says that leprechauns leave a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Can we go look for it after the wedding?"

"I think Uncle Doyle's just telling you a tale, Liam."

Outside on the porch, I see Dawn making her way to the back door. I move aside, and she bursts in.

"Buffy, you _have_ to get married now! There's the most beautiful rainbow in the sky! It's like…perfect!"

"I know, I saw it. I'm ready."

Dawn pokes her head outside. "Hey, she's ready!"

Moments later, Willow and Cordelia's heels come clicking up the porch. Giles and Liam stand off to the side as a flurry of estrogen-fueled energy fills the room.

"Okay, one last hair and makeup check." Cordelia inspects my face closely, pushing a small tendril of hair a millimeter to the side. "Alright, it's perfect now."

"Hold on, you forgot one thing!" Dawn moves in front of me, bringing my veil down to cover my face. "There, now you're ready."

"Wait, I'm not ready. I need flowers, right? Where's my bouquet?"

"It's here!" Willow says, materializing in the doorway seconds later with the bouquet in hand.

I take the bouquet from Willow and give the girls a smile. "Okay, so this is really it, huh? I'm getting married."

Willow gives me a warm smile. "This is really it, Buffy. You're getting married."

A few moments later, the music starts to play, signaling the beginning of the ceremony. Cordelia gives me a wink as she heads outside and down the porch steps toward the aisle. I peek from behind the door, seeing Doyle standing at the front of the aisle beside Angel. He smiles at Cordelia as she walks up the aisle.

"Good luck, Buffy!" Dawn whispers to me as she follows Cordelia.

After Dawn walks down the aisle and takes her place next to Cordelia, Willow makes her way down the steps and up the aisle.

"I go now?" Liam asks, holding up his red velvet pillow proudly. The rings attached to it are fake and just for show. And to be honest, I wasn't sure if I wanted to surrender the real ones to my three-year-old to lose.

"Wait just a second, baby. Wait until Auntie Willow gets to the front."

Liam fidgets as Willow slowly arrives to the front. He then looks up at me and Giles. "Now can I go?"

I give him a little nod. "Yes, now you go."

Liam races down the steps, then remembers to walk slow. It's quite obvious that Liam has stolen the show as everyone oohs and ahhs over him. Angel keeps his eyes on him, grinning proudly as his son walks toward him. Liam laps up the attention, a giddy grin on his face as he carefully holds the pillow, taking his job as ring bearer very seriously. When he reaches the front of the aisle, he makes a run for his seat next to Xander and Anya.

Finally, it's my turn. The music changes, and everyone rises as Giles takes my arm again. Slowly, we step outside. At the front of the aisle, Angel grins from ear to ear. I made him wait to see my dress. From the look on his face, he approves of it.

Holding on to Giles' arm with one hand and the porch rail with the other, still damp from the rain shower, I slowly head down the steps. Falling, of course, is my biggest fear, and the veil covering my face only makes the task a bit more difficult, but thankfully, I make it down to the ground with no trouble. The sidewalk of stepping stones makes for the perfect aisle as I head toward the front. Everyone is smiling at me. Liam still has that giddy expression on his face, and he waves to me from the front of the aisle.

The smell of flowers blends with the smell of wet grass as I pass the rows of chairs, glancing at all of the familiar faces. Friends, family, coworkers. It's hard to miss Lorne in his neon pink suit. He smiles and gives me two thumbs up as I pass.

I spot a few unfamiliar faces as well. Angel's side is filled with a group of blue, green, and pink-haired people. Angel's friends from Astoria. Standing next to Angel and Doyle, I see two more blue-haired people. Roman and Walker I presume. I can't wait to meet them all. But first, I can't wait to get married.

Looking back to my side of the aisle, Tara smiles brightly at me as I approach her row. I had told her once of the wedding I had imagined for Angel and I, and though it hadn't exactly worked out quite like that, I couldn't have asked for anything better.

"Love the Vera Wang," she whispers to me as we pass, and I just grin.

I did, though, get the dress that I wanted.

Riley nods to me as I pass his row, and Sam stands by his side, smiling. Every time I see Sam, it makes me happy, knowing that such a good guy like Riley finally found someone. Our friendship isn't quite so awkward anymore.

I smile as I pass several of my coworkers. I almost laugh when I see Robin, thinking of how embarrassed Dawn was to have her former principal here. You'd think that a group of regular people might be shocked to see such strange other beings, like Clem or Lorne, or even all of Angel's friends. But they aren't. They've been living on the hellmouth for a quite a while. They've pretty much seen it all.

When Oz sees me, he momentarily glances at Willow, then turns his attention back to me and smiles. Oz is often difficult to read, but in this moment, I know exactly what he is thinking. He's imagining Willow walking down the aisle.

At the front, Anya is all smiles and Xander is on his very best behavior. He wouldn't have picked Angel for me if he had a choice in the matter, but for my sake, he's happy for me. Next to them, Liam gazes up at me, reaching out to touch the silk of my dress.

Finally, we arrive at the end of the aisle, and Giles lets go of my hand. Angel takes his place, clasping my hands with his.

I'm vaguely aware of the minister talking, but it's nearly impossible to comprehend everything he's saying. I just simply stare at Angel, a grin plastered to my face, with Willow tapping me on the shoulder when it's my turn to talk.

"Wedding rings are an outward and visible sign of an inward spiritual grace, signifying to all the uniting of this man and this woman in marriage."

The reverend turns to Doyle, who then gives Angel the ring.

"Angel, repeat after me. _With this ring, I thee wed, as a symbol of our love and commitment."_

Angel slips the wedding band on my finger. "With this ring, I thee wed, as a symbol of our love and commitment."

"Buffy, repeat after me. _With this ring, I thee wed, as a symbol of our love and commitment."_

Willow places Angel's ring in my palm, and I turn to do the same to him. "With this ring, I thee wed, as a symbol of our love and commitment."

"By the authority vested in me by the State of California, witnessed by your friends and family, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Angel reaches for the veil and delicately lifts it from my face. Cradling my face in the palms of his hands, he brings his lips to mine and kisses me. We let the kiss linger on for a moment or two. After all, we've been waiting a long time to do this.

In the background, I'm vaguely aware of the applause and cheering from our friends and family, and then Angel and I both feel the squeeze of two little arms around our legs.

"Mommy! Daddy! You're married now!"

We both disengage from the kiss and look down at Liam, who is grinning from ear to ear at us. Angel scoops Liam up into his arms.

"That's right, Liam. You, me, and Mommy, we're officially a family now."

"Daddy, want to go look for gold at the end of the rainbow?"

Angel laughs. "No, Liam, I don't want any gold. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because…" Angel smiles at me, then looks back at Liam. "I've already got everything I want."

* * *

One by one, our wedding guests stop to talk to us before congregating on the porch and front lawn. They congratulate Buffy and I on our marriage, wish us luck, and some even make jokes about me having a ball and chain now. But after four years of living in Astoria, I'm more than happy to be chained to Buffy for life.

It isn't until the number of guests whittles down to just a few when I notice my car for the first time. Parked outside by the curb, my Plymouth sits, transformed by all of the balloons, ribbons, and streamers tied to it. On the exterior, there's writing on just about every available space. And behind the bumper, right below what I assume is a "Just Married" sign, are several cans, hopefully not beer cans, attached by a string.

" _Doyle!_ What did you do to my car?"

Doyle sidles up next to me, pats me on the shoulder while laughing. "You like my handiwork? I think that was my favorite 'best man' duty."

"That better not ruin my paint job!" I warn Doyle. "That's a limited edition Plymouth, you know!"

"Oh, relax, Peaches," Spike says, smirking at me. "It'll wash."

"You did this too?"

Spike shrugs. "I may have helped a little."

"Alright, so if my car gets ruined, I'm going to kill the both of you."

"It won't get ruined!" Doyle insists. "I swear, sometimes I think you love that car more than Buffy!"

"He better not," Buffy says as she wraps her arms around me.

I look down at her and smile. "Not a chance." She tilts her head up and we kiss.

There's a tugging on my pants, and Liam stares up at us with hopeful eyes. "Daddy, I want to go with you and Mommy on your honeymoon. Can I?"

Reaching down, I scoop Liam up. We'll only be gone for a few days, but it's already hard to say goodbye to him. "Sorry, buddy. A honeymoon is sort of for grownups only. But you know what? Me, you, and your mother will all take a vacation next summer to Astoria. You look forward to that, alright?"

Liam nods, a smile returning to his face. "Okay."

I kiss him on the cheek and set him down. I know already it's going to be even harder for Buffy to say goodbye to him. She wraps her arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace and holding him for several moments.

"You be a good boy for Giles and Auntie Dawn, okay?"

Liam mumbles something in response, his words garbled against Buffy's shoulder.

When Buffy finally pulls away, I see a glint of a tear in her eye. She stays strong though, holding back her tears as she kisses Liam on his cheek. "Daddy and I will call and check on you every day, alright? I love you."

"I love you, too."

I had worried that saying goodbye would be hard for Liam, but when Buffy places a small bag of rice in his hand, he seems all too happy to send us off then.

Buffy and I hold hands as we run down the sidewalk to the getaway car, rice pelting us from all angles as everyone behind us cheers and waves goodbye.

I open the passenger door for Buffy and close it once she's settled in her seat, then walk around and hop into the driver's seat. We had decided beforehand to keep the top down. Yeah, it was a bit chilly, the late November air whipping all around us, but it made for a good photo op.

I start the car and look to Buffy, seeing that wonderful glow on her face.

"So, are you ready to start our married life, wife?"

Buffy grins back at me. "I'm ready if you are, _Mr. Summers_."

"Mr. Summers, huh?"

"I found a solution to my name problem. I don't have to change my name at all. Everyone will just call you 'Mr. Summers' anyway, especially when Liam starts school, being that his last name is 'Summers' and all."

"Mr. Summers. I kind of like it actually."

I lean forward and kiss her again, then put the car into drive and head off into the night.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **A/N:** Wow. I can't believe I finally finished this story.

First off, I'd like to thank my loyal readers. Even when I went through tough times of writer's block, you were patient with me and still reading! That's amazing! I hate to admit it, but I've been slack in my own reading because I've been so overwhelmed with finishing this beast! And beast it has been. This has been the hardest story I've ever written, but I'm glad I wrote it. I learned a lot about writing and planning for stories, what to do and what not to do next time, lessons I'm sure will carry on into my next writing projects.

I hope you all like the way I ended it. I know the majority of the story was keeping Buffy and Angel apart, which was hard for me (and you), but I feel like the ending was beautiful. I hope you don't mind that I didn't have much of the Astorians in this final chapter. I felt like it would take FOREVER for Buffy to meet/speak with them all, and I didn't want to bog down the story with a lot of chit-chat. So I'll leave the rest of the story up to your imaginations.

So, what's next? Well, this is definitely not my last Buffy/Angel story, but it's probably going to be the last LONG fanfic I write. The reason why is that I really want to concentrate on this novel I've started to write, which I hope to get published someday. (I must still be in fanfic mode though, because I'm picturing SMG and DB playing the lead roles in my head, lol.) Anyway, I've always dreamed of being published, so I better get started working on my book!

But don't worry, I'll still write some B/A fic when I need a break! I've already got a follow-up story to _When in Rome_ that is almost finished. Expect that toward the end of the year though, because it's a Christmas story. After that, I have two more story ideas that would work well for the series.

Well, that's enough from me for now. I'll let everyone (including myself) get back to their lives now that this story is FINALLY DONE! LOL!

Thanks again for reading! :)


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